When last we left our heroes, they lay
in Gallipolli, Flanders Fields, and Arlington National. They are
gone, but never forgotten. To all in uniform: thank you on this
Armistice/Veteran's Day.
The USA Network ad asks if Big Show can
regain the advantage heading into Survivor Series. The look-in ad
says that HHH and Stephanie are on vacation and asks who represents
the Authority.
- The PG Era Rant for Raw, November 11,
2013.
- Not exactly live from Manchester, UK.
- Your hosts are a King, a Joker, and the
Green 8 from Uno.
- John Cena narrates a thank-you piece
for all American veterans.
- It's a recap of last week's ending
segment next. Interestingly, they play the sound bites out of order
from last week, but the order they play them in makes a little more
sense.
- First out of the curtain is Randy
Orton. You know, they keep putting that red phone booth on the stage
in England, and I keep waiting for a confused man with a sprig of
celery in his lapel to pop out of it. Orton cuts to the chase: Big
Show's match is the result of blackmail. Hard to argue. But if last
week's beating was any indication, Orton is a lock to win at Survivor
Series. Orton has been left in charge of tonight's Raw... which
brings out nominal Raw GM Brad Maddox to an ovation. Maddox says
HE'S in charge because, well, he's the GM of Raw. Maddox
(understandably nervous) begins to discuss what his plans are when
Kane emerges. There's a decent You Sold Out chant, though it's hard
to tell if it's piped in or not. Kane says that, as Director of
Operations, HE'S in charge of Raw. I'm just waiting for Dustin to
say he's the tag team champions now. Maddox claims seniority and
gets ready to announce the opening match: he wants Orton/Cody. Kane
vetoes it and wants Orton/Goldust. The two argue, but Orton says
“Hey, I can't fight the both of them”. The crowd likes that
idea, but instead, it's Vickie Guerrero. She sends best wishes to
the Authority, then says she KNOWS Orton has the skills, so as the
Voice Of Reason™, it is Best For Business™ (Crowd: “Who are
ya?”) that Orton can take the both of them on. JBL points out
that, wait, that's not what Orton said. This segment will play on
infinite loop in Scott Keith's private Hell.
- Randy Orton v. The Brothers Rhodes.
Well, if I'm booking this, there's no way it ends cleanly. Goldust
starts. Goldust with a headlock takedown, which Orton reverses to a
grounded headscissors. Break and reverse follows. Goldust goes to
inhale and gets slapped, which leads to Orton getting a headlock and
knockdown, but Goldust follows with a series of armdrags and a
dropkick for two. Cody drops his elbow on the arm and follows with a
stalling front suplex for two. Orton suckers Cody into the corner
and kicks away, following with a European Uppercut. Goldust in on a
blind tag, and he cradles Orton for two. Orton rushes Goldust into
the corner and works the gut, adding a headbutt and milking the boos.
Orton works in another corner and gets a clothesline for two as the
crowd declares Randy's boring. Then they switch to a JBL chant as
Orton works the arm. Cole: “We must be in England.” Orton
stomps Goldust in the gut as the crowd continues not to give a darn.
Orton pounds Goldust in the back, then chokes him down as the crowd
demands Goldberg (I think). Goldust begins to fight out, starting a
slugfest that Orton wins, but a blind charge hits Goldust's boot.
Orton knocks Goldust off the corner as we go to break. You know, if
the WWE is sweetening the crowd for cheers and boos, can't they drown
out the insanity of the crowd too? We return as Orton has a chinlock
on Goldust with the crowd rallying him. Goldust fights out, then
avoids Orton's powerslam and cradles Orton for two before getting a
DDT. Hot tag to Cody, who gets a springboard dropkick and the Brisco
rollup for two. Cody with the sliding uppercut and he goes up,
getting the moonsault press for two. Cody is measuring Orton, but
waits too long and gets caught only to recover with a Butt butt.
Double-teaming leads to a big right from Goldust and the brothers
send Orton packing with a double clothesline. Orton walks out at
10:45, but heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's Big Show. Show works over Orton on
the outside, throwing him into the steps. Short-arm clothesline
follows, and Show tears up the announce table. Crowd with a huge YES
chant, proving that even England is falling for chant transition.
Show puts the steps by the table, lifts Orton onto the steps, and
chokeslams him through the table. That draws HUGE chants of YES, and
it's not splicing either. Orton sleptwalked through the match. *3/4
Orton appears injured by the attack. I wouldn't be surprised if he
were a little shaken up – that was a huge drop.
- During
the Break, Big Show left in a cab to do a pub crawl.
- Los
Matadores and Santino Marella v. 3 Man Band (as the Union Jacks).
SANTINO HAS BULL HORNS. YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID. 3MB comes out to
punk music and wearing British flag print tights. It gets them a 3MB
chant. Primo starts with Slater and gets a snapmare and chops.
Slater brings in Mahal with a blind tag, and Mahal gets the running
knee (“Ole!”) for two. 3MB with the triple-team, ending in a
flying kick by McIntyre. He knocks Epico off the apron, but Primo
reverses to a back suplex. Mahal and Santino in, and Santino goes
straight to his comeback, but the saluting headbutt hits the knees.
Good thing too, because he still has the horns on. Santino with a
suplex for a double KO as El Torito distracts Slater and begins a
chase. Santino gores Slater out of the ring (that happened), but
McIntyre attacks Torito only to get a double dive. Torito adds a
somersault senton for fun. Santino with a split Stunner and the
Cobra (which OF COURSE has bull horns) gets the pin at 2:56. Santino
does some bull passes with El Torito for fun. Santino and Slater are
so good at comedy matches. 3/4*
- Backstage,
the doctors work on Orton as Maddox apologizes. Orton gets mad at
Maddox AND Vickie who tries to apologize as well. He promises that
the Authority will handle both of them. Orton even snaps at Kane too
because he's in that bad a mood. But Kane DOES have authority and
promises that if he keeps mouthing off, Big Show will be the least of
his worries.
- Later
tonight, Dolph Ziggler challenges Curtis Axel for the
Intercontinental Title.
- Funny
bit: they show Old Trafford for the Manchester flavor, and the
Manchester crowd boos it.
- Damien
Sandow v. Kofi Kingston. Sandow goes nuts with knees and tosses
Kingston, following and pounding away. He covers Kofi's face and
keeps stomping away, adding some pain from the ropes and getting one.
Sandow with a chinlock, but Kofi fights out and kicks away. Sandow
throws Kofi into the corner repeatedly and works him over with
shoulder rams and headbutts. He wipes Kofi's face into the mat and
drops the knee for two. To the front chancery, but Kofi gets to his
feet only to be pulled down by the hair. Cubito Aequet follows, but
no cover as he adds more elbows for two. Legdrop misses. Kofi gets
the boots up to stop a charge, then trips Sandow and fires away.
Spinning heel kick by Kofi gets two. Kofi splashes the back of
Sandow for two. He did it from the middle rope and while Sandow was
standing. Sandow fights back to take control, but a blind charge
runs into the pendulum kick. Sandow shakes the ropes to stop a
springboard, and the You're Welcome ends it at 3:53. Crowd was dead.
1/2*
- Next
week, Raw will do a country-themed show from Nashville. I demand at
the very least Road Dogg performing “With My Baby Tonight”.
- Intercontinental
Title: Curtis Axel v. Dolph Ziggler. As a reminder from WWE, this
match came up because Ziggler won a non-title match last week. They
lock up, finding their way into a corner, which leads to a clean
break. A second round leads to an Axel headlock, but Ziggler pulls
himself out and reverses. Axel with a chickenwing reversal, Ziggler
reverses THAT, Axel elbows out and punches away, and Ziggler's down
in the corner for some mudhole stomping. A whip sequence leads to a
dropkick by Axel for one. He brags a bit, allowing Ziggler up to get
a headlock. Axel reverses, getting a shoulder tackle but running
into a dropkick for two. Ziggler now brags. Axel runs into a high
hiptoss for two. Ziggler with a suplex for two. Ten-elbow
countalong follows, with the tenth getting a belt flourish, for two.
Axel sends Ziggler for the Michaels Bump to the floor on a whip.
Axel throws Ziggler into the apron on the outside and begins pounding
away. Back in, it gets two. A series of forearm drops gets two.
Axel grabs Ziggler's hair and yells at him, then puts him in the
ropes and keeps firing off. Axel slaps Ziggler around, but that
infuriates Ziggler and he gets the high-rise DDT for a double KO.
Axel's charge goes into the ringpost. Ziggler with a leaping
clothesline out of Daniel Bryan's playbook, following with a Stinger
Splash and ten punches in the corner to a Rude Awakening. Elbowdrop
gets two. Rocker Dropper misses, and Axel slingshots Ziggler into
the top buckle, rolling him up for two. Rocker Dropper hits on the
second try and gets two for Ziggler. Both men slowly up, and Axel
with a Saito suplex for two. Axel to the second rope, but Ziggler
leaps all the way up with a facejam for two. Zig Zag misses and Axel
with a faceplant and the Hennig Breaker for the win at 9:05. I don't
know what they see in Axel, but Langston is inevitably the next
champion and they're just waiting for the right time. **1/4
- Backstage,
Kane and Maddox keep arguing over who's running the show each one
planning to the tell the Authority. The main event tonight is We The
People against John Cena, suggested by Maddox. Kane adds Bryan/Punk
against the Shield. Crowd loves both ideas. Kane refuses a Maddox
handshake. Are they trying to turn either Maddox or Vickie face?
- We
have a WWE Shop segment featuring an evil Zack Ryder from an
alternate universe.
- Tamina
Snuka v. Nikki Bella. This match is played out. Tamina opens with a
knee and throw, but Nikki rolls Tamina up for one. Tamina throws
Nikki into the corner again, but Nikki blocks a charge and ANOTHER
rollup gets one. Nikki drop toeholds Tamina and gets a dropkick as
Tamina bails. Nikki tries a standing monkey flip, but Tamina throws
her to the ground and gets the JACKET THROW OF DOOM for one. Tamina
with a slam and she tries for a kneeling bow-and-arrow. Nikki elbows
away and gets separation. Tamina chokes away on Nikki as the crowd
tries a This Is Awesome chant. That better be ironic. Tamina with a
pumphandle into a powerslam for two and we HIT THE CHINLOCK. Tamina
with the Ventura body vice, but Nikki reverses to a back body drop.
Tilt-a-whirl headscissors (sort of) leads to a series of
clotheslines. Standing monkey flip connects this time, and a bulldog
gets two as an ECW chant begins. AJ adds a cheap shot, and the big
boot follows. AJ throws Brie into the apron as Tamina goes up, and
the Superfly Splash connects for the win at 4:24. Brie suckershots
AJ and clears the ring post-match. Just switch the title or move on
already. DUD
- WWE
2K14 look as they re-enact the Streak vs. Career match. On
SmackDown, we will show some Character Creations.
- The
Shield visit Randy Orton in the training room, and Orton asks where
the heck they were to make the save. Orton is chewing all of them
out, but the Shield make it clear they don't answer to anyone,
especially not Orton. Orton is very angry.
- Fandango
v. Tyson Kidd. Kidd has new music and the same old relationship
problems. Come on, guys, they're married; stop teasing a breakup.
For the record, the England crowd is still bored and doing the
Fandangoizing. Kidd with a waistlock, which Fandango reverses, but
Kidd with a snapmare and a long whip sequence leading to an eventual
gut kick and dropkick. Kidd pounds away in the corner, but Fandango
tosses him over the top rope. JBL implies that Fandango and Natalya
shared a look, and back in, Fandango gets two. Fandango knocks over
Kidd and goes to the chinlock. Kidd's fight-out is cut off, but Kidd
lands on his feet off a suplex and throws Fandango into the corner.
Kidd cuts off a blind charge and gets a springboard dropkick into a
running rana off the apron. Kidd tries to get a chant for him, but
it's short-lived. Back in, Kidd gets a springboard sunset flip, but
Fandango sits on top for the pin at 2:57. Crowd loves it, because it
means more dancing. Meh. 1/2*
- John
Cena v. We The People. So we have proud American and controversial
face John Cena against two people who are American jingoists and the
match is in England. I don't see ANYONE getting cheered in this one.
Zeb Colter tries to make sure it never happens by calling Englishmen
soccer thugs with bad food. Sadly, England agrees with him. Plus,
they thought Mr. Bean was funny. Colter continues the cheap heat,
but WE THE PEOPLE still gets a reaction. Swagger starts, and the
Cena chants begin. Swagger works the arm (of course), but Cena
escapes and checks the tricep. Cena keeps one eye on Cesaro as a We
The People chant begins. Cena throws Swagger, who calmly tags in
Cesaro. And before we can get anything going, out comes Alberto Del
Rio. Cena checks on him, but KEEPS the lockup going; unfortunately,
it doesn't work, and Cesaro dumps Cena with Swagger adding a cheap
shot. Cesaro throws him into the barricade as we go to break. We
return with a European Uppercut as the soccer thugs begin chanting.
Big soccer kick by Cesaro leads to the Karelin suplex for two.
Swagger with a headlock as the crowd chants for a Superman cosplayer.
Cena suplexes his way out of it. Cesaro tags in, but gets caught
with Cena's elevation neckbreaker for two. Swagger tags himself in
and gets consecutive Vaderbombs. The third one misses, and Cesaro
gets caught with a shoulderblock, as does Swagger, but Cesaro
intercepts a third try with the European Uppercut. GIANT SWING OF
DOOM is stopped as Cena tries the STF. Cesaro tags Swagger in,
unbeknownst to Cena, so when Cena sets up the Five-Knuckle Shuffle,
Swagger enters with the Patriot Lock. Another tag that Cena wasn't
aware of results in a Cesaro crossbody, but Cena catches, rolls
through, and hooks up the AA. Swagger clips Cena to stop it, and
Cesaro gets two. Cesaro goes for the Neutralizer, but Cena backdrops
out. Swagger tags back in, but gets caught with the Protoslam and
Five-Knuckle Shuffle. AA try, but Swagger rolls through into the
Patriot Lock. Cena rolls out of it and gets the AA to Swagger, but
Cesaro saves. Everyone's down but Cesaro, who calls for the tag and
gets it. Cesaro gets caught into a duck-under and powerbomb (!!) for
two. Slugfest trade ensues, with the crowd on the side of the
European Uppercuts, especially when Cesaro gets a catapult uppercut
for two. Charging European uppercut from Cesaro and he sets up a
superplex, but Cena fights out and knocks down Cesaro. Swagger tags
in and pops up, but Cena knocks him down and gets a crossbody to
Swagger into the clothesline to Cesaro and an STF for Swagger for the
tap at 12:52. Cesaro jumps after the bell and keep sup the attack
with headbutts, but Cena fights back and dispatches Cesaro again only
for ADR to charge in and deliver massive chairshots to Cena. Del Rio
tries to Pillmanize Cena and applies the armbar with the chair. Big
E Langston of all people races in for the save. There was some
seriously good chemistry in that match, but the booking made Cena
look more like the heel than We The People. **3/4
- Meanwhile,
on Main Event, AJ will defend against Natalya. And likely win,
though I haven't seen spoilers.
- Backstage,
all the G.M.s cheer Alberto Del Rio, who wants Vickie to tell Big E
to stay out of his business. The Authority Lite makes the match for
later tonight.
- Ryback
v. R-Truth. Is R-Truth doing a battle rap? Nice. Truth with a
waistlock, but Ryback backs him in to a corner and works over him.
Truth with a headlock, but Ryback fights out and gets a top wristlock
and hairpull throw. Ryback asks Truth to hit him, but Truth goes
back to a headlock instead. They repeat the spot from earlier, and
Ryback calls Truth “stupid”. Truth fights back with kicks that
stun Ryback, including one off a back body drop try, but Ryback
throws Truth into the corner back and forth. Hammer throw by Ryback.
Ryback chokes Truth on the ropes for four, then gets a military
press into a slam. He stomps away on Truth and backs him into the
corner, chopping and punching away. Another slam follows, and the
big splash gets two. Ryback with a ground waistlock as the crowd is
quiet. He switches to a bearhug. Truth fights his way out of it,
including a big right, but runs into a spinebuster. Blind charge
misses, and Truth with a rollup out of nowhere for the pin at 4:01.
Wait, what? 1/4*
- Big E
Langston v. Alberto Del Rio. ADR with a kick and headbutts to start,
but Langston catches him and fires off in the gut repeatedly. A
cross-corner whip and shoulder ram follows, then a tackle. Blind
charge eats ADR's boots for one, then a low kick to the head and
stomps for another one. ADR to the chinlock, but Langston fights out
only to get hit with a DDT for two. ADR stomps away and returns to
the chinlock as the crowd is distracted, so fine. Crowd does the
wave as ADR jumps on Langston's back. Langston breaks with a side
suplex, then comes at it with clotheslines and a Greco-Roman suplex.
Ultimate Splash follows and Langston stalks ADR, but ADR misses the
blind charge and gets the step-up enzuigiri for two. Crowd decides
to hype themselves up as ADR fails to get the armbar on. THE STRAPS
COME DOWN off a Vadershot, but the Big Ending is slid out of and the
armbar finishes at 4:06. Hey, remember all that effort Orton did
last week to make Langston look good? Never mind. *1/4
- Oh,
hey, Del Rio and Cena will do arm wrestling on SmackDown! Those are
ALWAYS fun!
- Paul
Heyman shows up with a neck brace, crutch, back brace, wheelchair,
leg brace, and Curtis Axel. He blames Punk again for all his
injuries. He says that Punk is not a match for Paul Heyman and had
help getting to him – such as Ryback. That's right, after all
Heyman has done for Ryback, it's Ryback's fault that Heyman got hurt.
Ryback was overwhelmed by Punk, but he's not the only one at fault –
the fans are also at fault. See, they encouraged Punk to attack
Heyman, an innocent man. So it's all the fans' fault, which the fans
are understandably okay with. He calls Manchester a ghetto, but he's
here not because he wants to talk, but because he needs witnesses for
his declaration: he shall return with a vengeance. Funny way to
pronounce Brock Lesnar. He will stab the Sword of Damocles at
Punk... which brings Punk out. Heyman: “OH NO!” Axel is ready
to attack Punk, but we all know Axel is Punk's tackling dummy.
Indeed, one roundhouse kick and barricade trip leads to a GTS and
Heyman is literally helpless against Punk. Punk gets himself a kendo
stick and stares at Heyman in glee, then grabs the wheelchair and
spins it in circles before dumping him out and the beating continues
to the cadence of a YES chant.
- Main
event: CM Punk and Daniel Bryan v. The Shield. Rollins does a front
flip over the barrier on his way in. Punk and Ambrose start. A long
staredown begins, as both men slowly begin the match. Ambrose with a
wristlock into a headlock, but Punk shoves off only to get knocked
down. Punk returns with a leg lariat, and Bryan enters as the faces
get a double suplex on Ambrose. Bryan gets two. Ambrose with a back
elbow off of a whip, and Rollins in boxing against the ropes. Bryan
flips him over with a knee smash and he sets up a surfboard, hooking
it on Rollins. Punk in, and after taunting the Shield, he kicks
Rollins for two. Dropkick off of a snapmare gets one. Rollins
fights back with a big chop in the corner, but Punk catches the
dropkick and slingshots Rollins into the turnbuckle. GTS tried, but
Rollins escapes and races to tag Reigns in. He and Punk stare down
before locking up, with Reigns headbutting Punk in the corner and
ropes. A straight right hand follows, but Punk slides underneath and
tags Bryan in. Faces trade kicks on Reigns, but Reigns knocks them
both over with clotheslines. Punk is disposed of, and Rollins comes
in to beat on Bryan. Bryan flips over in the corner and hooks
Rollins in a German suplex and running corner dropkick.
Frankensteiner out of the corner gets two. YES kicks begin, with
Ambrose getting the final blow, but Rollins high kicks Bryan as we go
to break. We return with Rollins getting a rear chinlock on Bryan.
Would that be a beardlock? Bryan elbows out of it, but Rollins sends
Bryan into the corner as Bryan tries the HBK Flip. Not quite.
Rollins gets two. Ambrose in with stomps and a Power Drive Elbow for
two. Ambrose with a FINGERLOCK on Bryan and boxes away in the corner
before tagging Reigns in. Reigns with headbutts to fell Bryan.
Reigns keeps working over Bryan and shouting at him. Bryan punches
out but runs into a right hand by Reigns for two. Rollins stomps
away on Bryan as JBL compares Reigns to Terry Gordy. Rollins with a
slam for two, and a cobra clutch. Bryan gets out again, but Rollins
with a CLUBBERIN, THEY BE CLUBBERIN TONY and brings in Reigns. Bryan
launches out Rollins and low-bridges Reigns, leaving a clear path to
Punk. Ambrose and Punk in, Punk with a springboard clothesline and
axhandles to everyone in black. Duck-under neckbreaker follows as
does a corner knee and short-arm clothelsine. He goes up top, and
the Heartbreak Elbow gets two before Rollins saves. Bryan missile
dropkicks Rollins and dives onto Rollins only to get lariated HARD by
Reigns. Punk dives onto Reigns, then back in, a roundhouse to
Ambrose follows. GTS try to Ambrose, but Reigns gets it instead.
Ambrose cradles Punk for two. Punk with the Anaconda Vice on
Ambrose... and the feed cuts out. Wait, no, it's the Wyatt Family in
the ring. Everyone's concerned on BOTH sides. Rollins and Harper
get in a verbal fight in the ring, with Ambrose pulling Rollins aside
and joining in. Shield and Wyatts get in a shoving match as the
crowd WANTS more. Harper and Rowan attack Ambrose and Rollins as the
match falls apart at 16:00 or so. Meanwhile, Reigns and Wyatt are
arguing, with Wyatt getting in the first blow and all heck is
breaking loose. Punk and Bryan wisely get out of dodge as both sides
face off. Wyatt finally reminds everyone they ALL hate Bryan and
Punk and unites the troops to go after them. Now Punk and Bryan are
surrounded by six guys. Punk and Bryan try to get the opening shot,
but no good. Now the Usos and Rhodeses get involved and it's a
12-man melee. Crowd is loving this. Faces clear the ring as I
believe we have our Traditional Survivor Series Match™. Match was
really good until it turned into an even better brawl. ***1/2
FINAL
THOUGHTS:
This
was a total one-match show, which is a shame because it shouldn't
have been. Orton didn't seem to care about this match, and the crowd
made sure just about everything else was DOA. Not that they had much
to go on – this show was very missable with the only real thing
happening being a Shield/Wyatts tease and the Traditional Match all
but made. Cena and the Americans did all right, don't get me wrong,
and as the second best match of the night it was perfectly
acceptable, but my goodness I just could not care about this show.
And
this makes me wonder: why? Was HHH's absence that big a deal? It
shouldn't have been – he doesn't wrestle, and the 20 minutes of
interview segment last week didn't exactly make me want to see him
again. Looking over the matches on this show, there wasn't much that
was going to succeed. Sandow/Kofi was meaningless, ADR sucked out
all the momentum Langston had by making him tap out, the Divas match
is old hat even by Diva standards, and the longer Axel holds the
Intercontinental Title the stranger it gets.
Two
matches don't make a great show, because you need to have glue tying
them together. Last week, the wrestling was solid enough that I
could live with it. This week, there was nothing in the ring (likely
because the crowd decided ahead of time not to give a darn). I can't
even get up enough emotion to hate this show. You missed nothing if
you skipped the show just to read my report. (Pfft – like anyone
does that.)
STATS:
MATCH
TIME: 71:00 or so, depending on when you feel the Main Event ended,
over ten matches
BEST
MATCH: Bryan and Punk/Shield
WORST
MATCH: Nikki/Tamina
NIGHT
MVP (kayfabe): CM Punk
RATING:
Meh, 4/10.
Scott
and Tommy will continue the week with Raw Lite, NXT, and SmackDown.
In the meantime, our troops
deserve a better show than this. I'll be back in 7 days.
The show sucked for the most part but damn I was marking hard for the final segment. I've been waiting too see the Wyatts and Shield go face to face.. this was the first time they've ever interacted. The massive brawl at the end, I'm always a sucker for those and I know what the REAL main event of Survivor Series for most fan now will be.
ReplyDeletePS - The reason the people booed Manchester United is because 90% of the city are Manchester City fans. The majority of United fans are abroad or glory hunters in London.
I'll admit, I marked out for the Wyatt/Shield interaction at the end of the show.
ReplyDeleteThey've done such a good job of building up the Wyatt's as a credible threat, even though they really haven't done much of consequence to any opponents of consequence.
Show's you what the power of a cool/creepy gimmick, the right person to play it, and a slow burn with plenty of simple beat-downs and dominance displays will get you. The Wyatt's are over as impact players, and barely anybody had to actually take the 'hit' of putting them over to get them there.
"Soccer thugs!" Wow... that was just crass!
ReplyDeleteFor English crowds, take the crowd noise and divide it by ten, and that's what a normal crowd would sound like.
ReplyDeleteThey're all very drunk and will yell for anything, you see.
Has anyone else had the terrible thought that for the WWE, what works and what's *good* are very different things?
ReplyDeleteI.E you need stability, but that's boring for those of us that really like it as an artform. However, those of us that really like it also aren't the folks who are going to be buying PPVs I think.
I think that's the biggest issue. We here on the Internet (and I use this term very generally) demand certain things from the product, and when we get them, we reward WWE by... torrenting their PPVs. I wouldn't market to us either.
ReplyDeleteOn behalf of the UK, can I point out that no-one here over the age of about 6 has thought Mr Bean was funny in at least 20 years.
ReplyDeleteI was talking to a friend of mine about this a few weeks back. He's a lifelong fan of over 25 years and watches much more than he misses anymore. I've seen every episode of Raw ever, every PPV ever and thousands of hours of other stuff. In short, he and I are both lifers. We're going to be watching the show no matter what happens.
ReplyDeleteTherefore, why in the world would WWE market to the two of us, or fans like us? They've got us watching no matter what they air, so why should they try to appease us if we're going to keep watching no matter what? It makes sense to try to appeal to other fans if they don't have to appeal to us to have us watching and buying shows.
The Olympic opening ceremony says hi...
ReplyDeleteFuck Mr. Bean, seriously.
ReplyDeleteI hate that Rowan Atkinson has been defined by that role, rather than the sheer genius that was Blackadder.
Mr Bean was included in the Olympic ceremony because for some reason he's massively popular overseas. Places like India & China can't get enough of him, which I can only assume is because that's haw the rest of the world sees us. (That along with the whole HO HO, IS FUNNY BECAUSE IS BADLY COORDINATE AND FALL DOWN thing)
ReplyDeleteAlso, I know I'm in a minority with this, but with the exception of the WWI series, Blackadder doesn't hold up at all any more. All that "Mad Jack McMad, the maddest madman of south maddenshire" stuff just comes across as horribly pretentious & self indulgent nowadays.
Whilst United does have a worldwide fanbase it's ludicrous to suggest that 90% of the Manchester population are City fans.
ReplyDeleteAnd given that the crowd was likely to be made up of people from across the north west (and probably much further afield given that a Raw is relatively rare in the UK) - I suspect the Etihad would have been given a similar reception.
It's not like the States where major sports teams are spread relatively far and wide; the MEN (I'm sorry, The Phones 4 U Arena) is well within range of Liverpool, Preston, Bolton, Blackburn - and even Leeds and Sheffield.
I was sure William Regal was going to be the in charge for the night, would have made sense. Anyway, was great to hear Heyman will be back with a 'vengeance' and the Shield/Wyatts getting into it was unexpected and awesome. Other than that, whatevs.
ReplyDeleteVery cool final segment. What are the odds of whatever Survivor Series match that comes out of that schmozz being last on the card?
ReplyDelete<0%
ReplyDeleteEYE have a better shot at main eventing Survivor Series than that match does.
ReplyDeleteAs does EGO.
ReplyDeleteMini TJ: Miami had TWO yards rushing last night. Christ, that game must have been full of suck.
ReplyDeleteSo, when I watch raw lite, just don't pay any attention until the main event? noted!
ReplyDeleteso those 76,000 people come from abroad every week?
ReplyDeleteSlapstick works in any language.
ReplyDeleteUPVOTE UPVOTE UPVOTE.
ReplyDelete"We're going to win this election on issues and not personality"
"And why is that?"
"Because our candidate has no personality"
Season 3 Election Episode is fucking genius. Every second of it.
Disagree. The stupid Potato episode doesn't hold up from Season 2, but everything else from seasons 2 and 3 still hold up today. Season 1, though, oofah.
ReplyDeleteRaw was so bad last night that this discussion is about everything but the episode.
ReplyDeleteI was merely amused, then looked up, saw the name, and LOLed.
ReplyDeleteLol. The BoD was just "Parallaxed"
ReplyDeleteBecause it's 2013 and the Blog of Doom is a Google funded entity that no longer takes risks or does long-term development of top guys, apparently. It's just kind of the way it is. So you're going to get nothing but Daniel Bryan.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy the unique brand of entertainment the superstars of the WWE bring the WWE Universe each week on the flagship broadcast Monday Night Raw, which, by the way, is the longest running, weekly, episodic program in television history.
ReplyDeleteYeah, but I would pay for stuff if it were good. I'm a childfree male with a STEM degree and a decent job so I have plenty of disposable income. But I'm not going to spend it on mediocre pro-wrestling shows even though I really like pro-wrestling. Same reason why I don't buy bad comic books even though I like the characters featured in them. Wow me and you've got my money.
ReplyDeleteHa. This is a great email. The rest of my morning is now going to be spent trying to reconcile the BoD regulars with their WWE doppelganger. Fuck i gotta get back to the E.R.
ReplyDeleteIt was rather suspicious when BoDer DoubleD went off on me when I called Damien Demento "Jobber the Hutt".
ReplyDeleteOut of curiosity, other than the 'five moves of doom' thing, what other reasons have made people believe that WWE wrestlers read the blog?
ReplyDeleteNot discounting the idea or anything, just honestly curious.
oh, it's not the regulars. it's those of us who halfheartedly keep up. we're the ones you need to watch out for.
ReplyDeleteNow for my not suspicious at all treatise on why David Otunga is grossly underused.
I don't think it was a bad show. Normally, it isn't very good when they come from England. However, I thought it was a decent show. I think we see exactly what Triple H and Stephanie bring to the show (how bout NOTHING?!?!?!) these days. It would have been better had most of the show not been spent talking about them. I think we can do without all of the handicap matches - that would be my gripe.
ReplyDeleteI promise, with tears in my eyes, that I am not a wrestler.
ReplyDeleteDaniel Bryan really is to wrestling websites what Cena/Orton/HHH are to WWE. Gets crowds generally interested, but rarely anything of note or creative worth comes out of featuring them.
ReplyDeleteAustin himself uses KICK WHAM STUNNER fairly regularly on the twitter and such.
ReplyDeleteThe avatars are supposed to be ironic, to throw off the scent. So, say your avatar is Barry Horowitz, you're trying to let people know that you're not really Barry Horowitz, but you really are.
ReplyDeleteYou got me, I'm JTG. I just wanted to finally feel accepted somewhere.
ReplyDeleteDaniel Bryan is an A+ guy who should have been booked into the Invasion angle, after having been angered over the Montreal screwjob.
ReplyDeleteDiscussion over.
Parallex1978 is obviously Jeff Jarrett at the end of his last WWE run, and any day now, Chyna is going to challenge him to a Good Housekeeping match.
ReplyDeletePorn-Peddling Jef Vinson just might be Jerry Lawler.
Don't you have an episode of Superstars to tape right now?
ReplyDeleteYou don't?
But is it still okay to enjoy his matches after he murdered his family?
ReplyDeleteWould you like me to carry you to the greatest match of your career? I can make a star out of you like I did so Davey Boy. Well not me, I mean, I know someone.
ReplyDeleteI only seem to be a mild-mannered editor at a mediocre metropolitan newspaper. In my spare time, though, I am definitely a WWE Superstar. Pay no attention to the man in the avatar!
ReplyDeleteI wish I could tell you that I was a WWE superstar, but I'm not booked.
ReplyDeleteIf you want something done properly, kill Baldrick before you start.
ReplyDeleteThis is totally off-topic, but it never occured to me until this moment as to why Cesaro's finisher is called the Neutralizer. He's from Switzerland, you see, and Switzerland is NEUTRAL...I literally just got that.
ReplyDeleteThey might as well play that up and have Cesaro's character refuse to take sides in any feud going forward.
It's a cold day in Calgary. I heard.
ReplyDeleteIm John Cena....
ReplyDelete"Just yesterday, the people were cheering me in the streets, 'We hail Prince George, We Hail Prince George'"
ReplyDelete"We HATE Prince George, We HATE Prince George"
"So I am not popular then."
Obama won. Those are the merits of it.
ReplyDelete/answer
Have you gotten your trampoline workout in this morning?
ReplyDeleteI am actually Chris Walker.
ReplyDeleteI would say his matches are jerk off material.
ReplyDeleteDoes it matter at all to you that I fucked Jennifer Hudson behind his back?
ReplyDeleteI'ma Santino Marella!
ReplyDeleteThat is really meta
ReplyDeleteWho says they get crowds interested? In the big picture of things I stopped watching wrestling regularly long long ago, and Cena was kinda cool when I saw him on random PPV's at the pub, but he was never enough to drag me back into it. Orton has always seemed like an emotionless robot to me and I never could consider him a big player. Cena started getting really over in 2003 and it's TEN YEARS LATER. It's so boring now it actually bothers me cause I still have a passion deep down, but now I couldn't care less. They are going to keep losing money rapidly unless they do something big very soon
ReplyDeleteNo mention that the main event (especially the commentary) was putting Reigns over like a motherfucker?
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't exactly fill me with confidence that my E.R. doctor between shock with a defibrillator might be thinking "I wonder if cabspaintedyellow is really Dolph Ziggler... CLEAR"
ReplyDeleteI'd like to point out how I have stolen heat from Fuj's catchphrase
ReplyDeleteThat sentiment would be multiples by 100 if you knew more about me
ReplyDeleteSo, hopefully they add Wyatts/Shield vs. Rhodes boys, Usos and New MegaPowers as a Survivor Series match. Is Cena/Del Rio officials? Jesus, I was trying to think of potential SurSer matches we can have in addition and I'm coming up with nothing.
ReplyDelete3MB and Fandango vs. Santino, Tons of Funk and Tyson Kidd?
Real Americans, Curtis Axel, Fandango and Damien Sandow vs. Kofi, Big E, Ziggler and the PTP? Only so they could give Ziggler Christian's "I feel out of place" comment in the pre-match interview.
So, in writing this post, I've talked myself out of bothering with Survivor Series.
WHAT? NO.....pre or post weight loss?
ReplyDeleteOr an avatar of the word day of your life.
ReplyDeleteHow is this not funny to anyone else?
ReplyDeleteOkay, this needs to be asked because I constantly see this stereotype brought up here by trolls like Dougie and some regular board posters as well, but honestly:
ReplyDeleteWho here actually illegally watches the PPV through streams?
I don't, I watch the PPVs at bars, or a friend's place if he is ordering.
This is an abolution! I've been found out. I'm going to have to talk with somebody and have a serious conflagration (Stares at hands while in a trance).
ReplyDelete"...YES!!"
ReplyDeleteThat's because Austin himself used that phrase in promos back in his wrestling days.
ReplyDeleteScrew that, I'm Oswaldo Arcia
ReplyDeleteCrowds was a bad word. Paying customers is a better term. WWE caters to the audience most likely to drop money on PPVs, live shows, and merchandise. A wrestling product that appeals to the adult demographic will probably not make as much money as one that appeals to kids/teens.
ReplyDeleteYup, everybody with a different opinion is a troll.
ReplyDeleteI have, a number of times.
ReplyDeleteNot even Daniel Bryan is nerdy enough to post ridiculousness like 'HE'S THE NEXT AUSTIN.'
ReplyDeleteAlso, I'm El Dandy.
ReplyDeleteSo there was the backlash to Bryan getting screwed, and now there's the backlash to the backlash. Frankly, I'm already sick of it. Can we get a backlash to the backlash of the backlash soon?
ReplyDeleteAlso, why did WWE get rid of Backlash? OHHH, do you guys think Bryan wins the title at Backlash?
I have tried to watch streams but always had poor connections that made them unpleasant. The more likely case is that I will check to see if anything in particular stood out and I'll just watch those bits after the fact. Even if it's free, no way am I spending 3 hours watching pro-wrestling when maybe 45 minutes of it is interesting to me.
ReplyDeleteIt's possible that 'five moves of doom' was picked up and used by some other internet site/blog (with or without crediting Scott), picked up by Cena or whomever from there. These type of things can spread over the internet. A lot of still use Big Poochie to describe Kevin Hash, and I think that was invented by CRZ.
ReplyDeleteThey could potentially give the 6v6 match an hour including intros and get away with a 5 match show. They'll probably add a women's match then throw a bunch of guys into another 4v4 or 5v5 match.
ReplyDeleteI wish that I had 10 upvotes to give.
ReplyDeleteWho is this Daniel Bryan guy anyway?
ReplyDeleteWas it you whose birthday is today, or am I thinking of someone else?
ReplyDeleteIt's tomorrow, but that's pretty good.
ReplyDeleteYou're the 5th? I thought of that when someone posted that rhyme to my Facebook wall the other day.
A thought I didn't include in the Final Thoughts because it would be Bakeresque, but that certainly crossed my mind: do you think "HHH isn't on the show tonight" and "this show had nothing going for it" are related? If so, how? As I said, it's not like HHH brings much to the table (other than you know things will happen when he's around), but... well, I doubt it's a conspiracy or a Hogan move to have a bad show when he's not on it. Still, is it coincidence, or does it say something about The Game?
ReplyDeleteSheamus is HHH's guy, I think it's pretty obvious he'll be hanging around the top of the card. I wouldn't be surprised to see Sheamus vs Lesnar at WM 30 to be honest.
ReplyDeleteOh I agree that Sheamus is gonna get another huge push, for sure. And actually I personally think Sheamus is really good— awesome workrate and he does have natural personality. But he was flopping as a main event babyface— the injury kind of came at the right time.
ReplyDeleteNo way it's Lesnar vs Shemaus this year. (Though again, that's a match I think would be AWESOME. I would have loved to see it last year instead of HHH vs Lesnar, with Sheamus acting as HHH's avenger. Would have put Sheamus over HUGE.) Lesnar has to rematch with Punk sometime soon. (They made it clear last night that Heyman isn't done with Punk, which means he has to bring back Lesnar to face him. Unless his master plan is to fight Punk with LUKE GALLOWS.) So I'd say Punk vs Lesnar is a Mania possibility again. If not, then it's probably Lesnar vs Taker. There's just no reason that Sheamus somehow bypasses both those guys for a match against Lesnar.
I really think there's a good chance Sheamus comes back as a heel and works against Cena at Mania, maybe even after winning the Rumble or Elimination Chamber. They could play it up the way they did Cena vs Batista that time, in that Sheamus is one guy that seems to have Cena's number.
I think the backlash to the backlash of the backlash has already started. If I understood you correctly.
ReplyDeleteI actually think Bryan wins the title at Bound for Glory.
How in the hell did you know that?
ReplyDeleteSo with you stealing Fuj's catchphrase is this all just a metaphor? Who is HHH in this case? Google AdSense?
ReplyDeleteI know everything.
ReplyDeleteNo, it was mentioned in a thread a few weeks back that Mahn's birthday was a week after mine and it stuck in the back of my head. My brain is filled with a bunch of information, a lot of it may or may not be considered useless.
Yeah, my birthday was last Tuesday. I managed to stretch the festivities from a week before to the weekend after. Best birthday I've had in a while.
ReplyDeleteSounds good. I get to spend my birthday in Philidelphia on business.
ReplyDeleteHappy belated.
I'd love to sit down with you and have a back and forth discussion on said things. I lean left but have slowly found myself agreeing with the moderate conservatives lately. Time to start reading Huff post again I guess...
ReplyDeleteWhere can you even find a "moderate conservative"?
ReplyDeleteBut since Vince will own TNA in a few months, Bound For Glory will be the name of a very special episode of "Superstars" on WWE.com.
ReplyDeleteUm, HBK is a much smaller draw than HHH. HHH is one of the highest drawing heels in wrestling history. HBK's best numbers are nowhere near comparable to HHH's best numbers.
ReplyDeleteAnd during their parallel '90s peaks, HBK was a lesser draw than Bret as well (who, according to Meltzer, is a much lesser draw than HHH by the way).
Yea, I'm not gonna open this can of worms. Guess it depends on your views of "moderate".
ReplyDeleteHere's a thought- last night's RAW justifies the approach they've taken with Bryan. By not trapping Bryan in the role of "the face of the WWE" but letting his meteoric rise touch other wrestlers, he's given off so much rub that there's a 12-man Survivor Series match that people WANT TO SEE (or at least did want to see last night). The Wyatt Family and the Shield did their part, and Punk was fantastic, but Bryan's the glue of the whole thing. Before last night, the idea of a 12-man match made me sick to my stomach; now, I want to see the 12-man match badly.
ReplyDeleteOf course, putting him in three hopeless matches against Orton wasn't good business. But let him work on this feud, and then tell the story of him getting the belt at WM.
Also significant but understated: It was Bryan's music, and not Punk's, that played when the babyfaces stood in the ring victorious.
ReplyDeleteHe's the top villain. When you're missing your top villain, the show feels less important.
ReplyDeleteFor the early 2000s (post Mania 18), my PPV ordering was limited to Mania and Rumble every year, and sometimes Survivor Series and/or Summerslam.
ReplyDeleteThen when Rock came back in 2011 and Summer of Punk happened, a buddy of mine got sucked back into watching so since then we've been splitting PPVs together, and probably have ended up ordering about 7-8 a year for the last few years. (And going to Survivor Series 2011, TLC 2012, and Mania 29.) So while I'm not buying all 13 shows a year, I feel comfortable that I'm spending wayyy more than enough on WWE to voice my opinion on the quality of their PPVs and storylines.
As for the few I don't order, I'll usually find them online and watch before (a DVR'ed and heavily fast forwarded through) Raw the next evening.
Note: Zero chance I'm ordering Survivor Series this year. Won't spend a dime on a shitty Big Show title main event.
Yeah but I don't think Roman Reigns or Cody Rhodes or anyone currently in NXT is either. And I know for a fact Randy Orton isn't and HHH wasn't.
ReplyDeleteMan, this Chris Walker guy has been getting around since that post last week
ReplyDeleteOoh! Ooh! Can I come for the discussion, too?
ReplyDeleteExactly. Now can we please get back to discussing important stuff like turning John Cena heel?
ReplyDeleteI get your point but tagging against the wyatts is a lateral move from team hell no
ReplyDeleteChris Walker would be bitter at Vince ignoring real talent....
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8OxKx6zKkQ
ReplyDeleteI didn't steal it! Scott gave it to me because its what's best for business.
ReplyDeleteYep, and Flair should have dropped the NWA/WCW title to him in 1991 as well.
ReplyDeleteThey probably just saw a chance to avoid paying another royalty fee to Living Colour.
ReplyDeleteWhen, exactly, was HHH a huge draw? When he was third-banana for Austin and Rock? Or when he pissed away all the viewership those two had built up during his Reign of Terror from 2002-2005? Sure, he was a decent draw (or at least merch-mover) again in 06-2010... but only after they reunited him with HBK.
ReplyDeleteStop drinking the cool aid. The only one who thinks HHH was a top level draw is HHH.
I think they should showcase the NXT talent in a 4-on-4 or 5-on-5 match.
ReplyDeleteI do, or at least I used to when I was home on Sunday nights.
ReplyDeleteI can't tell well the sarcasm stops and the reality starts
ReplyDeleteWho now can't make rent because of it
ReplyDeleteWhat you don't seem to realize is that I'm not arguing that HHH is some huge megastar in general. I'm arguing (correctly, by the way) that he's a bigger star/draw than HBK, which he indisputably is by a fair distance. Also, the irony of your comment is hilarious, and I'll address that step-by-step (or rather quote-by-quote):
ReplyDelete"When, exactly, was HHH a huge draw? When he was third-banana for Austin and Rock?"
Well, yes. "Huge" is relative, but HHH in the Attitude Era (especially in 2000) was far bigger than HBK has ever been. He was a bigger draw as the third biggest star of the (second half of the) Attitude Era than HBK was as the top guy a few years earlier.
"Or when he pissed away all the viewership those two had built up during his Reign of Terror from 2002-2005?"
Again, not huge, but definitely a bigger draw than HBK at any point in the latter's career. Losing all those viewers is a knock against HHH when comparing him to Rock and Austin (although the business was already on a downswing prior to their departures), not when comparing him to HBK, who did far worse numbers as the top guy in the '90s than Trips has ever done.
"Sure, he was a decent draw (or at least merch-mover) again in 06-2010… but only after they reunited him with HBK."
I'd love to see where you got your info for the two's merch sales and how they compare, because I doubt HBK was pushing as much merch as Trips.
"Stop drinking the cool aid. The only one who thinks HHH was a top level draw is HHH."
And this is where the hilarious irony comes in. It's hilarious because the WWE's Kool-aid has people like yourself convinced that HBK was some huge star when he's one of the worst drawing top guys in WWF history (his '96 WWF title run got the worst ratings in RAW history and the company nearly went out of business when he was on top, something that was never a concern during HHH's time on top).
The WWE overrates HHH from a talent standpoint, while they overrate Shawn from a stardom standpoint. Trips (not Michaels) is the biggest star in the Kliq by a long shot, and the closest to reaching the "Icon" status that HBK's been laughably given despite how badly he historically drew.
HHH being a bigger draw/star than Michaels isn't a matter of opinion, it's a concrete fact, regardless of your opinion of both guys.
If you want to see these posts stop, the only way to make it happen is to stop posting comments on them.
ReplyDeleteSure, D-Bry posts get people to participate, but do they click ads?
ReplyDeleteThe only proven draws are Benoit and Montreal conspiracy theories,
I mean, you're ignoring a lot of the other factors, here. I don't wanna end up writing a dissertation here, but a few quick points:
ReplyDelete*Shawn, when on top of the promotion, consistently out-performed the previous champs ('96 Diesel/Bret, '97 Sid, '97 Bret) in terms of drawing power/viwership, and was pretty unanimously considered to be the only thing keeping WWE afloat in '96. Sure, the WWE in general was in a slump then, but that's not on Shawn so much as it's on WCW and the total lack of other top shelf talent in WWE. On the flip side, when Hunter was the focal point of the promotion in 02-05, he was basically hemorrhaging viewers.
*I don't know who was drawing more merch individually in '06-'10, I just know that DX was second to Cena in merch for most of that span, whereas prior to the reunion it had been (if memory serves) Edge and Batista.
*Triple H has been on our TVs a lot lately, and many of those weeks have been dramatically down from the last few years. Just worth thinking about.
*Being the third biggest drawing guy of a boom era is a lot less impressive, IMO, then being the most drawing guy of a down era. Nobody cares about the bronze medal.
BeardMoney is funny like that.
ReplyDelete