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The PG Era Rant: Raw, 11/18/13

When last we left our heroes, all heck had broken loose. Twelve men were brawling like maniacs, trading opponents like dance partners, until two Survivor Series matches formed from the activity. But with only four matches on the dance card so far, plus one spot open on a pre-formed match, excitement is in the air and advancements will be made. But whose paycheck is getting a Thanksgiving bonus? And on top of that, how will the matches we know of become even more intense?

The pre-show look-in ad specifies it's Country Night, and also says the family will open the show with possible sanctions.

- The PG Era Rant for Raw, November 18, 2013.

- Live from Nashville, TN.

- Your hosts are JBL, Lawler, Cole, and likely a few thousand Stetson hats.

- For those who didn't see it on, The Shield and We The People will face the Rhodes Brothers, the Usos, and Vacant in a Traditional Survivor Series Match™.

- We recap last week and how no one knew what was going on. I have to give them credit; this package makes it look like last week's show was exciting.

- Tonight's highlights will include a live performance from Florida Georgia Line, Langston and Axel for the Intercontinental Title, and that 12-man tag we were teased last week. For the record, I actually like when they open the show with a teaser like that – let me know why I'm going to love this show.

- The McMahon Helmsley Era II do indeed get the opening segment. And despite the abuse of power allegations, last week proved WE NEEDED THEM to run the show. A lack of authority means anarchy, you know. All those who were supposed to be in charge will be “dealt with”, but fortunately, they're back and recharged to make something happen. Anyway, before we can get more preliminaries, here's a very angry Randy Orton. Orton blames the Authority for last week because they didn't name a successor, they didn't give the Shield orders to help Orton, they gave Big Show a title shot, so basically everything last week is THEIR fault. You do NOT treat the face of the company that way! Stephanie steps in with “Randy, you're probably right.” Orton: “PROBABLY!?” He's thinking in his condition he won't win against Big Show. HHH and Orton are in each other's faces until HHH makes it clear that he and Stephanie RUN THE SHOW. Before we can get any further, Brad Maddox and Vickie Guerrero emerge, rather timidly. They admit to confusion, and Maddox confesses that last week was... Vickie's fault. Crowd approves. They really don't like Vickie. But HHH makes it clear: everyone pays the price. Stephanie says the handicap matches clearly make the General Managers desensitized to pain, so each of them get matches. Vickie will face AJ, while Maddox gets THE NEXT MATCH. Yes, in a suit and tie. And Orton is the opponent. Who's the face anymore? Oh, and it's a no-DQ match. Maddox looks like he's going to throw up. He tries to leave, but Kane insists rather forcefully that Maddox go to the ring. Doesn't HHH know he's a heel? Who am I rooting for?

- No disqualification: Randy Orton v. Brad Maddox. Maddox quickly exits the ring and makes sure he still has a pulse. He slowly returns as the crowd is on Maddox's side. Orton charges and Maddox hides again. He gets on the house mic and begs for his life. The chase is on, and Orton catches Maddox by the timekeeper. Maddox hits Orton with the microphone before throwing him into the post. Even Maddox is shocked at what he did. Maddox with a DDT for two. Even JBL is on Maddox's side. Orton gets up and shoots a death glare at Maddox. He corners Maddox and throws him over the top and out, then into the announcer's table. Orton tears it up to get to Maddox, throwing him into the steps. Orton rips the shirt off and clubs him Sheamus style, then into the post. Orton sets up the Barricade Draping DDT, and there's no way Maddox is stopping that. Orton drags Maddox's corpse as the crowd wants a table to get involved. He gets the house microphone, but eschews it in favor of rolling Maddox back in. JBL jumps to Orton's side as Orton goes ground-and-pound WITH THE MICROPHONE. The thuds echoing throughout the arena are just perfect. The referee declares the match over at 3:56 (awww) as Orton walks away, message sent. I can see they're trying to turn Maddox face, and it seemed to work a little, but it'll take more than that. *1/4

- Later tonight, Big Show will face Ryback.

- Bret Hart, Booker T, and Mick Foley will discuss Survivor Series in the pre-show.

- Meanwhile, Maddox was taken out on a stretcher and neck brace. They pass by Vickie, who seems to be very nervous about what this means for her.

- Intercontinental Title: Curtis Axel v. Big E Langston. This match gets boxing intros. No Heyman, as you might imagine. Crowd's up for this match. Axel goes for a waistlock, which Langston reverses to a takedown. Axel kicks out and strikes away, but Langston reverses a whip and knocks over Axel for one. Langston with a backbreaker for two. Back suplex by Langston for two. I like that he's covering every chance he gets in a title match. Axel bails out, and Langston gives chase. Axel hides in the corner, but his kick is caught and he's knocked over. Punch to the gut floors Axel, then another. Langston lifts Axel over his shoulder and gets a walking back body drop for two. Axel drapes Langston's throat on the ropes and gets a Northern Lariat for one. Axel pounds indiscriminately for two as we go to break. (Just a note: they mentioned that Langston uses 405 pounds to do his reps in bench presses. Understand that most people use 225 as the standard. To someone who knows his weightlifting stuff, that's impressive, but they might want to explain why 405 is a big deal.) We return with Axel holding a chinlock, but Langston throws Axel over his shoulder and tackles him in the corner. Axel bounces back with a dropkick for two. Axel pounds away again for two. Axel goes to the front chancery, trapping the arm for good measure, but Langston powers himself up and throws Axel off. Langston with clotheslines and a Greco-Roman suplex as the crowd is fired up. Ultimate Splash gets two. Langston goes for the Big Ending, but Axel kicks out for the McGillicutter, but Langston shoves him off to a lariat and THE STRAPS ARE DOWN. Big Ending connects for the pin and the title at 8:50. Long overdue title change, and the crowd was hot for the finish, which is a very good sign. **1/4

- Backstage, Orton and the Shield discuss the title change. Orton says he and the Authority have an understanding, and the Shield MUST have Orton's back. Reigns agrees, but he wants Orton to help them too. Orton nods in agreement.

- Diva Musical Chairs! YAY! Everyone's in Daisy Dukes, too. And of COURSE Lawler is hosting. It features all the Total Divas “and those who didn't make it”. (Alicia gives a sarcastic woo-hoo.) It's game on, and everyone argues about which way to go. Finally, they go counter-clockwise, and Natalya's first out. Summer Rae mocks her. Alicia's out next (Cameron pushed her out of her chair), and the game falls apart as an argument and shoving match breaks out. Then the music stops and they try to sit down again. It doesn't work and everyone gets in a fight instead. Cole and JBL clearly are taking this as seriously as we are. “JERRY” chant breaks out. Lawler or Springer? The Total Divas face off against the other Divas in a shouting match. JBL: “I'm not sure what we just saw.” Me neither.

- ...why did I just do play-by-play on this?

- On the “here's where we are” look, we have “WELCOME TO LAYLA'S NASHVILLE” in the background. I thought she was from England and/or Miami.

- Big Show v. Ryback. Just a thought: why is being WWE Champion equivalent to being the Face of the Company when John Cena still exists? Am I supposed to ignore that? Ryback wins a lockup in a bit of a surprise, but Round Two goes to Big Show more decisively. Show boxes the gut of Ryback and headbutts him down. CHOP OF DOOM follows. Show: “Stupid, huh?” Another CHOP OF DOOM follows. Big headbutt adds to the pain, and a shoulderblock as Ryback rolls away to refresh. Did JBL just say Show was 780 pounds? Ryback punches Show in the gut back in, but a whip is reversed and Show knocks Ryback over. More CHOPS OF DOOM come next. Ryback chop blocks Big Show and gets on the attack, kicking away and clubbing the back. Legdrop follows, getting two. Ryback goes ground-and-pound on Big Show, with a splash following for two. Ryback into the front facelock, which he changes to a side headlock. Ryback hooks the nose for extra pain and adds punches to the gut. This part goes on for a while. Show punches out, but Ryback gets a DDT to retain control. It gets two. Ryback is ryBACK TO THE CHINLOCK. Show has trouble fighting out, but manages to reverse to a side suplex. Show with clotheslines to regain control, and an avalanche in the corner, but Ryback catches show with a spinebuster for two. Well, then. Ryback calls for the meathook, measuring Show, but he runs straight into the goozle. Ryback fights out, getting the Meathook on the second time. He calls for Shell Shock, and he GETS HIM UP and connects! It gets two, which makes sense but in any other scenario than #1 Contender should've been the finish. Ryback calls Show stupid and works the neck, trying for a second Shell Shock. Ryback can't get him up, and gets shoved off the ropes into the KO Punch for the pin at 8:00. Very slow start, but it ended as a decent power match. *1/2 Randy Orton tries to jump Show, but gets speared instead. This gets a YES.

- Zack Ryder is speaking with Florida Georgia Line, but 3MB arrives in cowboy outfits to butter them up and ask if they've heard of them. 3MB calls themselves the Rhinestone Cowboys. FGL doesn't know how to react.

- Is there a rule that Flo Rida has a 6-theme song deal with WWE?

- Backstage, Orton is soothing his ribs with ice and asking where the Shield was to help him. He thought they were in this together. He kicks the trainer out and feels like he's on his own.

- We the People v. Kofi Kingston and the Miz. ANTONIO CESARO HAS A FAN CLUB. YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID. Cesaro and Miz start, and Cesaro works the arm only to get reversed. Miz keeps working the arm, but Cesaro takes over with uppercuts. Miz with the through-the-ropes corner clothesline and axhandle, getting two. The two fight over headlocks, but Cesaro catches Miz and drops him with a backbreaker. Swagger in, and he jumps outside and lariats Miz on the floor. Back in, it gets two. Swagger works Miz in the ribs in the corner, and Cesaro adds a shot for good measure. Vaderbomb and leapfrog stomp gets two. Miz punches the gut, but Cesaro cuts it off with uppercuts and brings Swagger in. Double elbow gets Swagger two. Swagger with a butterfly lock, into an armbar, but Miz gets out and Kofi gets a blind tag to clean house. Chops and dropkick to Swagger, and a leaping clothesline thing sets up the Boom Drop. Pendulum kick to Cesaro for good measure, but Swagger catches Kofi mid-dive and does a spinning shoulder slam for two. Kofi reverses a clothesline by BACKFLIPPING OVER SWAGGER into a DDT. Holy hell. Kofi goes for the tag, but Miz refuses it! He leaps off the apron, turning heel, and the Patriot Lock ends it at 4:46. Miz seems mad Kofi blind tagged himself in and was teaching Kofi a lesson. Hey, anything that gets Miz back to heel status is fine by me. *3/4

- Backstage, Vickie pretends to faint in an attempt to get out of her match.

- On SmackDown, the Rhodes Brothers will defend against We The People. Enjoy, Tommy.

- Stephanie sees Vickie and says that Vickie must go to the... ring. No one's falling for her trick. So they wheel her to the ring. Tied to the stretcher. At least one of my Skype friends thinks this is a rib on AJ passing out during the European tour. If so, that's evil of the WWE.

- Vickie Guerrero v. AJ. Yes, they're wheeling her to the ring. Lawler heart attack jokes abound. Cole brings up the GM of Raw history. Vickie faints again. It's rather transparent. The ref is fanning her off. The announcers argue over who gives her mouth-to-mouth. She says she needs water (yeah, stay classy, Vince) and washes herself off as the bell FINALLY rings. Vickie instantly tries to run away and runs into Tamina... and faints again. She pulls herself up using Tamina and fans herself off with Tamina's wrist... then walks out. AJ skips after her and catches her, walking her to the ring. AJ stalks Vickie and tries to calm her down, fanning her off before slapping the Black Widow on for the submission at 1:27. In other news, Vince McMahon needs psychiatric help. Vickie faints again for the heck of it. Wait, is this one real?

- Divas' Tag Survivor Series match: AJ, Tamina, Summer Rae, Kaitlyn, Aksana, Rosa Mendes, and Alicia against Team Total Divas.

- HHH talks to Damien Sandow and Dolph Ziggler, making a Broadway Brawl (in Nashville?), and he promises that the two of them will make it entertaining. I love when they make a match and don't explain it to you.

- David Otunga is on the cover of Muscle & Fitness magazine. Who cares?

- Broadway Brawl: Dolph Ziggler v. Damien Sandow. So the idea here appears to be that it's a hardcore match using country music instruments as weapons. RD Reynolds needs to be paying attention. Sandow pounds away on Dolph to start, throwing the knees and dumping him. Sandow grabs a steel guitar, but thinks better of it and throws Dolph into the steps. Now he takes the guitar, but nails the steps by mistake and Dolph leaps off the steps to Sandow. Back in, Sandow uses a display stand to attack Dolph in the gut, then throws him into the buckle. He goes for another guitar, but Dolph punches Sandow down instead. Dolph adds a dropkick to send Sandow out of the ring. JBL: “George Jones just rolled over in his grave.” So did Bruno Sammartino. Sandow throws Ziggler off the turnbuckle and through a keyboard for two. Sandow stomps away as we go to break. We return with Sandow working Dolph over in the corner with dozens of headbutts. Sandow works Dolph over with that traditional country music instrument – the chair – before wedging it in the corner. Dolph catches Sandow with a small package for two and begins the comeback. Sandow nails Dolph with the FIDDLE OF DOOM for two. Dolph avoids the chair in the corner and gets the high jump DDT instead, crawling over for two. Dolph breaks the violin over Sandow's back and gets the Rocker Dropper for two. JBL and Lawler are having way too much fun name-dropping country music acts. Zig Zag is avoided, and Sandow gets a flapjack and throws Dolph into the wedged chair. It gets two. (Lawler: “It must be one of those musical chairs.” Me: “Badumtish.”) Sandow sends Dolph into the double bass for good measure before getting another steel guitar and using it for two. Sandow winds up with the guitar and charges, but misses and goes into the post instead. Dolph rolls him up for two. Dolph puts the snare drum through Sandow's head, then takes the big bass drum and makes Sandow wear it. This match needs Oklahoma calling it. Dolph with the Jarrett strut and El Kabong for the pin at 11:07. Complete stupidity of the stips aside, it was pretty good for a hardcore match. **1/2

- Backstage, Orton demands more answers from HHH and Stephanie. He should have respect as the WWE Champion, and he wants to know if they REALLY believe in him. They say they need to think about it. Orton is a little put off by that instead of getting madder.

- John Cena has his arm in a sling while talking to Florida Georgia Line.

- You know, with the Diva Musical Chairs, mocking AJ's fainting spell/dehydration, and a goofy weapons match, it's nice to see Vince McMahon likes to use Raw for his own petty amusement.

- The Champ Is Here! I think it's pretty clear that the arm in a sling indicates that Cena/Del Rio will be a typical Hogan match. And I'm okay with that. He talks about the sling as he shows us last week's footage. Cena is in a bad mood because of what happened, as you can imagine. Cena talks about how the energy of the fans made him come back, but he wonders if it was too soon. Was he trying to be a superhero? Does he deserve to be World Champ? The answer is of course he does because he owes it to the fans. Cena goes into a locker room pep talk about how he's not cheap shots, but determination. He knows Del Rio has heart, but he also is in for a rude awakening at Survivor Series. He'll be in front of his family at Survivor Series, and he'll deliver as World Champ. Pain is temporary and pride is forever, and he'll remain champ on Sunday! The whole crowd is on his side by the end of the promo. But here's Alberto to give sarcastic applause. Del Rio loves the speech. It almost made him cry. Cena promises to make ADR tap on Sunday. Del Rio points out Cena can't even hold the title high right now because of his arm injury. And on Sunday, Cena will be humiliated in his hometown and defeated. A real champion, says Alberto, takes advantage of opportunity... and Del Rio enters the ring. He's salivating over the bad arm. Cena agrees about opportunity... and reveals the arm isn't THAT poorly hurt. He throws Del Rio over the ropes. The two have a staredown as the segment ends. Now THAT'S the Cena we all fell in love with.

- Next week, Raw will feature Michael Strahan. For the benefit of those who are Scott Keith, let me explain that Strahan is a former NFL defensive end, one of the best in the game for his time, and that he's since gone on to replace Regis Philbin on the talk show hosting circuit.

- Rhinestone Cowboys (3MB) v. R-Truth and Xavier Woods. JBL, meet Xavier Woods. You may know him since you're the GM of NXT. It'll be McIntyre and Jinder. Truth and Mahal start, with Truth getting a headlock and dancing to distract Mahal before slapping him. Woods with a dropkick to Mahal, and he adds a tilt-a-whirl headscissors off a long whip sequence. Blind tag by McIntyre, but Woods sees it and cuts it off only to get hit with a flying kick. Woods is caught in the corner as McIntyre chops away. Double slingshot suplex by 3MB gets Mahal two. McIntyre in, and he works the arm. Woods fights out, slides under McIntyre, and hot tag Truth. Big leg lariat to McIntyre and a front suplex, but Slater gets knocked off the apron by Woods. Truth with a Stunnerplex, and Woods in with the Honor Roll lariat and Lost in the Woods to get the win at 3:05. JBL likes him. Me too. 3/4*

- Backstage, HHH and Stephanie give Orton their confidence as face of the company. But that means Orton needs to win alone against Big Show. Orton is not amused by this development, but he takes it as a challenge.

- Highlights of tickets going on sale for WrestleMania 30.

- Florida Georgia Line in concert! Good, I get time off. Although it wasn't a bad song.

- Main event: Daniel Bryan, CM Punk, Cody Rhodes, Goldust, Jimmy Uso, and Jey Uso v. Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, Roman Reigns, Luke Harper, Erick Rowan, and Bray Wyatt. Crowd decides to give CM Punk the chant. Wyatts and Shield have a tense faceoff as the crowd unloads a YES chant. After some confusion, it's Jimmy and Ambrose to start. Ambrose gets the headlock, knocking over Jimmy but getting clotheslined. A slam follows, and Jey comes in with an uppercut. A blind charge hits the elbow, and Reigns enters. Yes, Erick Rowan is still wearing his sheep mask. Jey with a forearm on Reigns, and he backs him into the corner only to get punched hard for the escape. A headbutt does nothing, and Jey bullrushes Reigns into the face corner to bring Cody in. The Rhodes brothers double-team Reigns, with Goldust getting a sliding uppercut for one half. Goldust is caught in the wrong corner and Rollins comes in. Goldust backdrops Rollins and gets a kneeling uppercut and atomic drop. Big kick follows for two. Back in comes Jey with a thrust kick to the gut, but the charge catches another elbow. Jey's jaw is jacked hard, and Harper tags in blindly which gets the heel side to argue as we go to break. We return with Goldust working Rollins over in the corner with ten punches, although Rollins is hung up awkwardly. It gets two. Goldust gets a hammerlock on Rollins, and Cody gets a tag to take over. Cody works Rollins over in the corner before getting a Brisco rollup for two. Rollins reverses him into the turnbuckle to take over, and Ambrose comes in to work on Cody. Ambrose with gut stomps and Power Drive elbow for two. He brings Reigns in, who headbutts Cody and chokes him in the ropes. Reigns tags Rollins in, as Rollins drops an elbow for two. Rollins with a cobra clutch on Cody, adding a hairpull slam. He mocks Goldust and brings Reigns in, as the Shield wishbone Cody. Cody fights back, but Reigns with a back elbow for two. Reigns with a big headbutt, and Ambrose is in with a kick to the back and clothesline. He gets two. Ambrose works the hand and gets a boot choke by the ropes. He boxes Cody and gets a hammer throw, following up with a suplex for two. Rollins tags in (beating Wyatt to it) and stands over Cody, taunting him. Cody fights back, but Rollins stops the momentum and tries a suplex only for Cody to reverse it with a front suplex. Harper blind tags Rollins, and Rollins argues with him, ALMOST allowing Cody the hot tag. Disaster Kick catches Harper and allows the hot tag to Bryan, who enters with a missile dropkick and takes out all the Wyatts. YES kicks follow, but the roundhouse is missed. Bryan recovers with a drop toehold and cross-corner kick as the Shield is dumped. Harper catches Bryan's charge after that in a running powerbomb for two. Wyatt tags in and drops elbows, working a mount as the crowd wants CM Punk in. Wyatt to Ambrose: “Why won't you trust me?” Wyatt holds Bryan up and talks strategy with the Shield before bringing in Reigns, and the two double team. Now the heels are working it out, but Reigns brings in Ambrose to work over Bryan in the corner. Ambrose tags in Rowan as Phase Two of the match begins. Rowan with a big slam on Bryan, and he works a neck crank. Bryan punches out of it, but Rowan with a spinning elbow as he forcefully brings in Ambrose. Ambrose with a leaping stomp and STF-like move, but Bryan works free quickly. Ambrose gets a knee to the gut, but Bryan returns the favor and tries for a tag. Everyone on the heel side thinks alike and clears the face corner as we go to break. We're back as Ambrose and Rowan work together, and Reigns comes in. Reigns goes CLUBBERIN, THEY BE CLUBBERIN TONY as the faces work a Daniel Bryan chant and Reigns has a front facelock. Bryan steals Dolph Ziggler's high jump DDT off of a backdrop try and the crowd is AMPED. VERY hot tag CM Punk, who hits anything that moves. Leg lariat to Ambrose, neckbreaker to Rollins (with a DDT to Ambrose at the same time for good measure), and Ambrose and Rollins both eat running knees and short-arm clotheslines. To the top, and the Heartbreak Elbow gets Ambrose. GTS is called for, but Wyatt distracts Punk only to get a roundhouse kick. Ambrose tries a sleeper, but Punk reverses to the Vice as Harper and Rowan save. The Usos cut that off and dump Harper and Rowan, adding a double plancha to the rednecks. Punk and Ambrose back into each other, and Ambrose gets the bulldog driver, but Goldust saves. Reigns spears Goldust, Cross Rhodes to Reigns, Buckle Bomb by Rollins to Cody, but Punk and Bryan get the Hart Attack on Rollins. Tope suicida to Wyatt from Bryan, and Punk puts Ambrose to sleep for the pin at 24:05. I'm pretty sure I missed something there at the end. Wild finish and hot match. ****1/4 Now Swagger and Cesaro help the Wyatt Family get in on Punk and Bryan, but REY MYSTERIO of all people makes his return and clears out Cesaro and Rowan. Mysterio gets a double 619 on Harper and Swagger, and Harper is put to sleep by Punk. Bryan with the Running Knee to Rowan and it's YES TIME. Well, I guess he's your mystery partner. Faces celebrate together as we end the show.


Well, it's a tale of three shows here. First hour had the Intercontinental Title change and power match in Show/Ryback. Second hour was Vince doing stuff that annoyed me like a goofy weapons match and mocking AJ's legitimate health issues. Then the third hour had good shilling for the main event of the PPV, a debut, a big return, a rock show, and a white-hot tag team main event. I'll be honest: the middle hour I'm willing to overlook because the ending was so insanely awesome. The main event in particular told several stories at once (the heels not getting along, Punk and Bryan overcoming everything, the tag match, Mysterio's back, etc.). I can live with this.


Okay, it's time to look at the show and see how I'd book it.

  1. The Usos, Cody Rhodes, Goldust, and mystery partner Rey Mysterio defeat the Shield and the Real Americans with Mysterio the sole survivor. [ORDER: Cesaro pins Jimmy, Swagger taps out Jey, Goldust pins Swagger, Mysterio pins Cesaro, Reigns pins Goldust, Cody pins Rollins, Ambrose pins Cody, Mysterio pins Reigns, Mysterio pins Ambrose.]
  2. The Total Divas win their match, with Brie, Eva Marie, and JoJo surviving. [ORDER: Naomi pins Aksana, Cameron pins Rosa, Kaitlyn walks out, AJ taps out Cameron, Tamina pins Nikki, Summer pins Natalya, Brie pins Alicia, AJ pins Naomi, Brie pins Summer, AJ runs away, and everyone teams up to pin Tamina.]
  3. CM Punk and Daniel Bryan beat the Wyatt Family by DQ when Bray Wyatt makes it a 3 on 2.
  4. Randy Orton successfully defeats Big Show.
  5. In a special added match that I realize is my idea alone, Miz, Fandango, Damien Sandow, Ryback, and Curtis Axel beat Kofi Kingston, Big E Langston, Dolph Ziggler, and Los Matadores when Miz and Ryback survive. [ORDER: Langston pins Axel, Sandow pins Fernando, Fandango pins Diego, Kofi pins Fandango, Sandow pins Ziggler, Miz pins Kofi, Langston pins Sandow, Miz pins Langston.]
  6. John Cena defeats Alberto Del Rio to retain the World Championship and send the fans home happy (in theory).

The bonus match is because of the Miz heel turn requiring some payoff, as does the title change. And really, there's nothing wrong with this crew getting time. Plus, if the booking goes right, you get Miz/Langston and Mysterio/Ambrose as future title programs. Mysterio and Ambrose in a ladder match at TLC? Yes please. Plus, in the women's match, the anomaly of Kaitlyn on the “wrong” team is fixed by having her walk away from AJ's crew. If need be, you can have Eva Marie and JoJo DQ'd in the match to keep them from doing too much. Orton can move on from Big Show here, while Cena and Del Rio might still have legs heading to TLC.


MATCH TIME: 65:16 in eight matches
BEST MATCH: The 12-man main event
NIGHT MVP (kayfabe): Big E Langston

FINAL SCORE: 7.5. I can't go higher because of the AJ ribbing which had no place on TV, but even Brad Maddox brought the goods tonight and entertained me. That's all I ask for is entertainment. Survivor Series seems hotter than it did last week, which is necessary.

That's all for today. I'll get my camera fired up for a Survivor Series PG PostGame discussion of the booking, while Scott and Tommy will keep you updated on NXT, Impact, and SmackDown. In the meantime, try to survive and enjoy the week.


  1. Good review man. Was switching between football and wwe so this Def helped.

  2. show stunk, not even the last match could save this abortion.

  3. I was switching between football, a first date, a mushroom trip, a drunkard neighbor who grates me to no end, and working from home for five hours.

  4. Probably my favorite Raw review online at present. I read three or four different ones, but Andy's always seem to be my favorite of the group.

  5. 6 vs 6 was great, and so was Rey Mysterio's surprised review. I really hope Rey Mysterio has one last great run. Great guy, even better wrestling career. The rest was meh, though.

  6. "I was switching between football, a first date, a mushroom trip, a drunkard neighbor who grates me to no end, and working from home for five hours."

    So was Vince.

  7. .....that's what she said?

  8. Approved. :: Signs off on it gives you the pen as a souvenir ::

  9. Agreed! This guy's got chops!

  10. I wonder if there's any other bleach blond guys for Dolph to steal moves from.

  11. Pat Patterson Prolapsed!November 19, 2013 at 1:56 AM

    "Dolph Ziggler's got his freaks and his peaks!"

  12. Pat Patterson Prolapsed!November 19, 2013 at 2:03 AM

    ...Who watches the whole thing?!

    ...Oh yeah, the live thread.

  13. Okay, if Dolph starts taking Big Poppa Pump mannerisms I will completely turn around on him.

  14. As to the AJ ribbing. Uh...she's a wrestler, they get ribbed. Does it need to happen on TV? No. But neither did calling Virgil "Virgil". Seriously, if it was a rib (which is probably was) it was ultimately a pretty harmless one. It's not like they said she fainted because of oxygen deprivation caused by sucking too much dick (and if we're talking about how WWE treats women...I'd honestly expect that).

  15. Why would I pay to watch a 10 man tag when I've just seen a 12 man for free?

  16. Pat Patterson Prolapsed!November 19, 2013 at 3:03 AM

    Once again, I'm inclined to agree. Call it tasteless if you want, but don't watch WWE if you do.

    Also, I wonder how many people get up in arms over this sort of thing and also laugh at YouTube clips and GIFs of people getting hurt. We're human beings, we laugh at others' misfortunes.

  17. Pat Patterson Prolapsed!November 19, 2013 at 3:04 AM

    Put 'em on the grill or sumpthin'

  18. Hey, I think AJ is an untouchable goddess too, but I'm not white knighting her over this.

    And there's a song about your second point.

  19. Pat Patterson Prolapsed!November 19, 2013 at 3:36 AM

    I'm not even sure if it's Schadenfreude. We laugh at someone slipping at least partly because of the slapstick value and there's also the factor of "I shouldn't laugh at this, it's so wrong" that makes it even funnier. Laughing at the prom queen from your high school because she's really fat now is more of a Schadenfreude situation.

    Like, I didn't think there was anything funny about AJ fainting, but she's not some sacred cow (far from a cow, actually) who can't take jokes about something like that. Buddies do that to each other.

  20. Yeah, it sucks to get awesome matches on free tv.

  21. So what was the point of the Orton/Maddox match? I'm just befuddled by it. Are they trying to turn Maddox face?

  22. I think the assumption is supposed to be that PPV matches are of a higher quality than TV matches, so the free match is just a preview to when they REALLY tear the house down at the PPV.

  23. I would complain about wasting the 12 man on Raw, but it's not like WWE cares about Survivor Series these days.

  24. At least in this situation, the person who was mocking AJ's fainting got her comeuppance, so given the end result I don't have a huge problem with what they did. Normally, they just mock the person, use the match to make them look even stupider, then decide to bury them because fainting is disrespectful or something.

  25. I am so confused with this company. Stephanie is supposed to be a total bitch heel, but in the Vickie segment she played a face. I thought Vickie turned face last month? Now she's acting heelish to AJ, who was a heel last time I checked? And as for Maddox? It would be one thing if these were nuanced characters with shades of gray, but they're not. They just seem to be flipping face/heel switches to fit the storyline.

    To paraphrase Bobby Heenan, whose side am I on???

  26. Awesome to see Mysterio back, I hope his last run (I assume it'll be his last) is a good one, he deserves a good sendoff and he'll slide nicely into that role Jericho and RVd both left behind. Also awesome to see that, regardless of the title situation, its clear that Punk/Bryan/Rhodeses/Shield/Wyatts are the stars of the show. I know I'm being a pollyanna but a rising tide lifts all boats, and they've got a decent crop of future stars floating around. Speaking of future stars, glad to see Xavier Woods get called up, but I really really hope the 90s obssessed gimmick comes with him. It probably won't, but a guy can dream, right? Also, that bodes well for one Sami Zayn.

  27. Did Ryback do something to get in trouble? As badly as he'd been booked following the Cena feud, I thought he was still over enough during his CM Punk feud to be an upper-card heel -- even if he'd be mostly fodder for guys like Bryan, Punk, Cena, Big Show, etc. But the way Heyman talked about Ryback last week, and then having Big Show kick out of his finisher this week, seems like they're actively trying to kill any chance of him flirting with the upper card.

  28. The one thing I want out of Rey's last run is for him and Sin Cara to both be healthy in March. The two of them doing lucha libre for 12-15 minutes at WrestleMania just might save Cara's career. I know the internet has turned him into a punchline, but the man was crazy over in Mexico and if healthy can do good things in the US. Would anyone be against that?

  29. Miz v Kofi added to the Survivor Series pre-show.

  30. You'll get an Authority video package and like it.


  32. this is the worst part about Stephanie/HHH playing cool heels

  33. Im just looking at the show as a whole, yea the main event was good (not 4 stars good though) but everything else was painful. if it wasnt for the live thread I wouldnt have even watched the main event, so I wouldnt be surprised if ratings fell yet again.

  34. apparently his attitude backstage is shitty, and oh yeah he has a track record for injuring talent hence his depush.

  35. I just hope Rey can be half the luchadore he was in 97. I have serious doubts thought bc of age an attrition.

  36. What? WHAT? You're ordering this shit SS card?

  37. OK, so I'll accept that Bryan is pushed out of the title picture and that The Authority/HHH/Steph/Orton are the true stars of the show and it's gonna be the main storyline going into Mania blah blah. Fine. Accepting all that... what teh fuck are they doing WITH this storyline? I honestly can't even understand what they think they're doing with the face/heel dynamics here. Are HHH and Steph supposed to be faces again? Are Maddox and Vickie faces? Who is any of this getting heat on? Why are HHH and Orton still not on the same page? None of this makes any sense. And not in a "ohhh I wonder where this is gonna go!" way. In a "why the fuck is this on my TV?" way.

    If they're gonna sacrifice Bryan's face/champion run to get Orton and HHH over as heels, then fine. Obviously I think that was the wrong way to go, but fine. But why do that and then IMMEDIATELY start doing the whole tweener shit with HHH again? How many fucking heel turns does he need to do before just STAYING HEEL? And why have Orton go over Bryan just to immediately start making Orton look like a hapless pussy again right away? It's completely nuts. If they're gonna make HHH/Orton the dominant heel group that needs to get their comeuppance at Mania, then just do it. But having HHH and Steph act as "phony faces who are actually heels who abuse other heels but don't cheer them too hard because they're phony!" is just ridiculous. Crowds don't know what to do and there's zero heat in it. And honestly, everyone involved just looks bad. Orton was infinitely more over 5 months ago when he was a directionless face than he is now as WWE champ.

    At the rate they're going, there's no way they can drag this out til Mania without teh crowds just completely turning on it. They really should just blow it off at the Rumble or something, and turn Orton and/or HHH back to face. What a fucking bizarre set of choices.

  38. No way Cara could ever get a singles match at Mania. I mean, chances are we never even see him on TV again, never mind one of 7-8 matches on their biggest show of the year. Would be an absolute waste of Rey's time. Cara is a joke and a jobber in WWE, no matter what he did in Mexico. That ship has sailed and broken it's leg at the dock.

  39. I thought you hated WWE and everything they stood for.

  40. He needs to start using the Steiner Screwdriver as his finisher and giving people "braineurisms"

  41. "Buddies do that to each other." Totally. But the problem, for me at least, wasn't the ribbing--- it's that they presented their dumb little in-joke on their fucking TV show. I get that Vince/JBL/Cole/HHH etc all thought that making fun of an employee's health issue was hilarious. Cool. But how is that entertaining for the millions of viewers who have either have no idea what they're "referencing", which I'd venture is 99.9% of their audience? All it ends up being is a loooong segment of Vickie pretending to faint over and over while JBL cackles like a jack-ass.

    That's my problem with this segment-- they used a decently sized portion of their TV show to do an in-joke that's only entertaining to them. It's the same way that they've done nothing but write "middle management power struggles" as their main storylines for the past 10 years, because that's what interests them.

  42. What bothers me most is that Orton seems to have been totally castrated by going against Big Show and aligning with HHH. The Orton that HHH in character said he wanted to see would have threatened to walk out with the title and not come back. Instead, he fell right in line and even seemed more hurt than angry when told that HHH was considering backing a different horse.

  43. Oh Orton is just a complete mess right now. Dude has no heat on him at all. Again, he was wayyy more over when he was just a face bouncing around the upper midcard-- at least he was portrayed as a bad-ass and people knew to cheer for him. What the hell is he now? He's not a face, but he also isn't really THAT BAD, at least in the sense that he doesn't really set any of the evil plans in motion. He's just kind of there for them. That was a huge problem right from the start— Triple H was the one who turned heel at Summerslam, not really Orton, because Orton wasn't even in on the plan. It should have been orton who schemed to put everything together, and convinced Triple H to turn with him. Instead it's been months of Orton just going along with everything, and geting beat up and belittled by his boss.

    What's the end game here? Orton vs HHH? This all makes no sense. It'd be like if two weeks after the nWo formed, Nash and Hogan were already bickering with eachother and teasing a break-up. I just don't get why they turned HHH and Orton heel and then immediately became so wishy-washy about the whole thing.

  44. Did someone just let JBL loose on commentary last night? My favorite comment was during the Broadway Brawl, when he asked, "What's with all these guitars lying around the ring? Did Double J leave 'em?" and it sounded like King or Cole legitimately spit out their drink.

    I quit on Raw after two hours or so, but I have it on DVR to check out the main event later.

  45. I like how Orton had to admit he probably isn't good enough to beat big show!

  46. I would. Mistake-o is an atrocious, sloppy wrestler with feather light offense. The only way i'd be into that is with Hunico back under the Cara mask.

  47. He yelled "It's Morphin' Time" so I'm thinking yes.

    Also, it took this long for WWE to pair up Truth and Consequences?

  48. Did not even catch that. A match made in racial segregation heaven.

  49. It's better than shitting in somebodies personal space.

  50. The shit I say to my friends would've gotten me killed if I said it to someone else.

  51. That was in Memphis.

  52. Yeah, this wasn't a JR colostomy skit.

  53. 35 minutes? Are you drunk??

  54. Pat Patterson Prolapsed!November 20, 2013 at 12:27 AM

    Why would the assumption automatically be that she was offended? She fainted. It happens.

  55. Pat Patterson Prolapsed!November 20, 2013 at 12:30 AM

    They won't change any of their habits if they continue to make money. How this concept is a big deal at all to anybody at this point is absolutely beyond me.

  56. Wait, you mean the WWE doesn't run itself based on Meltzer star ratings and BoD upvotes? WHAAAAA???


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