TNA Issues Statement Regarding Jeff Jarrett's Depature
http://www.impactwrestling.com/news/item/5351-TNA-issues-statement-on-Jeff-Jarrett
Heath Slater Update
The reason for Slater's absence is that he is out for the time being to deal with "personal issues."
Credit Dave Meltzer, Wrestling Observer Radio
Roddy Piper to Appear at the Next Ring of Honor Television Tapings
He is advertised for a pre-show meet and greet. No word yet on whether or not he will be making an appearance for television
Credit Mike Johnson, PWInsider.com
Bobby Eaton Hospitalized
Eaton has been hospitalized due to complications from his diabetes. He will be held for observation for the next few days
Credit Mike Johnson, PWInsider.com
http://www.impactwrestling.com/news/item/5351-TNA-issues-statement-on-Jeff-Jarrett
Heath Slater Update
The reason for Slater's absence is that he is out for the time being to deal with "personal issues."
Credit Dave Meltzer, Wrestling Observer Radio
Roddy Piper to Appear at the Next Ring of Honor Television Tapings
He is advertised for a pre-show meet and greet. No word yet on whether or not he will be making an appearance for television
Credit Mike Johnson, PWInsider.com
Bobby Eaton Hospitalized
Eaton has been hospitalized due to complications from his diabetes. He will be held for observation for the next few days
Credit Mike Johnson, PWInsider.com
Let me fix this for you:
ReplyDelete"TNA wants to make clear that Jeff Jarrett isn't leaving because of Dolph Ziggler."
The reason for Slater's absence is that he is out for the time being to deal with "personal issues." The personal issues have nothing to do with Dolph Ziggler.
He is advertised for a pre-show meet and greet. No word yet on whether or not he will be making an appearance for television. Dolph Ziggler won't be attending.
Eaton has been hospitalized due to complications from his diabetes. He will be held for observation for the next few days. It's not Dolph Ziggler's fault.
BoD Posters: Dolph, you see this, all this shit?
BoD Posters: It's not your fault.
Dolph: [Softly, still staring off] I know...
BoD Posters: No you don't. It's not your fault.
Dolph: [Serious] I know.
BoD Posters: No. Listen to me son. It's not your fault.
Dolph: I know that.
BoD Posters: It's not your fault.
[Dolph is silent, eyes closed]
BoD Posters: It's not your fault.
Dolph: [Dolph's eyes open, misty already] Don't fuck with me, Parallax. Not you.
Parallax: IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT
[Dolph shoves Parallax back, and then, hands trembling, buries his face in his hands. Dolph begins sobbing. Parallax puts his hands on Dolph's shoulders, and Dolph grabs him and holds him close, crying]
Dolph: Oh my God! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry Parallax!
[Triple H runs in, pedigrees Dolph, goes house hunting with Stephanie.]
Jarrett: Eh.
ReplyDeleteSlater: Eh.
Piper: Eh.
Eaton: That sucks, no matter what time of year.
WHAT. THE. FUCK.
ReplyDeleteI've seen some really bad attempts at comedy on this blog. This is a really bad attempt at comedy, no offense.
ReplyDeleteDarn you Scott!
ReplyDeleteSlow day for news but I have decided that I will be posting a Christmas thread tomorrow, for anyone that wants to participate
ReplyDeleteI also just realized that I won the BoD Yahoo Fantasy Football league.
ReplyDeleteJarrer, Piper, Eaton...I want them all in matches at Mania 30
ReplyDeleteLegends Battle Royal!
ReplyDeleteThe "joke" is the story about the drunk tweets from the other day:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.rspwfaq.net/2013/12/bod-daily-update_21.html
"The story of Natalya sending messages to Stephanie McMahon while intoxicated was not legit but it was based off of a real-life incident. Apparently, this was based off of a male wrestler who either send messages by text or phone to Vince McMahon, essentially expressing that he was frustrated and deserved a better position on the card. It is not believed that the incident led to the male performer being buried or anything but he was spoken to and has not behaved like that since. Although the name of the performer was not revealed, Dave Meltzer said that it was not Dolph Ziggler"
I chuckled at the idea that every story on BoD isn't about Dolph Ziggler. And thus the monstrosity you see above.
I figured that out when I read the post. Its okay, we all have our DUD's once in a while. Read some of the shit I write.
ReplyDeleteAgreed, and trust me, I know a thing or two about bad comedy.
ReplyDeleteRusso would probably book a glucometer on a pole match for Eaton
ReplyDeleteI bat 1000
ReplyDeleteLol. "That to put butts in the seats"
ReplyDeleteYeah, I violated a major rule- when you have to explain the joke, taint funny. Ah well.
ReplyDeleteI would rather see Eaton/Undertaker than Brock/Undertaker. I honestly can't tell if that's an exaggeration or not.
ReplyDeleteIt is funny that Meltzer had to point out that it was not Ziggler since we all had to be thinking Ziggler as we read it. However, it does say the incident is not believed to have led to a burial, so that comment, in and of itself, should have ruled out Ziggler.
ReplyDeleteIf the guy's ALREADY being buried, than an incident "not leading to a burial" means diddly and squat.
ReplyDeleteI have the feeling Piper is about to have a promo cut short by Mike Bennett.
ReplyDeleteWhy post anything at all?
ReplyDeleteMy first thoughts exactly!
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas fellow Australians! And yeah everyone else whenever it ticks over to you...
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone on the blog! Thanks for another fun year of making the shows more entertaining then they usually deserve to be!
ReplyDeleteI like to know what kbjone thinks about stuff.
ReplyDeleteBloggers,
ReplyDeleteIn the spirit of Christmas, I hope you can kindly understand this thread jack, as I wish to get you fine folk to read my sophomore article with WhatCulture, but I don't wish to bother Mr. Keith again.
http://whatculture.com/wwe/wwe-7-huge-positives-2013.php
Thanks to you guys for making the blog THE go to place for passing the time in 2013. Happy Holidays to you all.
"USA wrote one sentence about it their Life section. So of course I booked it!"
ReplyDeleteNo worries. Just scrolled through it, will read it when I get home. No "uprising of Daniel Bryan?" Thought for sure that'd be #1
ReplyDeleteStaying in the Christmas spirit, I just went to the bagel place by my office to get lunch with some coworkers. On the way back, I spotted two $50 bills on the sidewalk, snatched them up and put them in my wallet.
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas to me! Also, to all my friends here at the Blog, who provide me endless hours of amusement and a great place to spend some time when I should be working.
Habit.
ReplyDeleteBah, I laughed.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate that man. I kind of include Daniel Bryan in the in-ring product section but to thine own self I must be true--every time I turn on NXT I love it, whereas Daniel Bryan getting stalled out in the (immediate) aftermath of Summerslam really left a sour taste in my mouth.
ReplyDeleteChris Benoit has a bigger chance of appearing at WM XXX than Jeff Jarrett.
ReplyDeleteI predict that when Batista comes back to Raw next month, he comes out to his music and pyro, does the machine gun pose, stands up out of it, turns around and gets BLASTED over the head with a guitar.
ReplyDeleteTen Years ago, a lifelong dream was realized.
ReplyDeleteOh... my... lord...
ReplyDeleteWhy did you have to use me as the example? I guess that is the downside to being the #1 draw... still in the future, leave the humor to others.
I am not related to this guy
ReplyDeleteThis is why you are a BoD Hall of Famer
ReplyDeleteI hear ya.
ReplyDeleteI seriously think EYE have a better shot at being in a match at 'Mania than Jeff Jarrett does.
ReplyDeleteI will bet you absolutely anything that it doesn't happen that way.
ReplyDeleteI'd be a fan. My preferred scenario is they show the total divas filming some sort of commercial spot for the reality show and you see Jarrett blast them over the head with a guitar while yelling "slap nuts"
ReplyDeleteI thought this was going to be a "Then I turned them into the lost and found" or "I gave them to the guy ringing the salvation army bell" type story... not "Kept that shit for myself! Dinner is on me! Capitalism FTW!"
ReplyDeleteI am proud of you! And in the Christmas spirit I officially forgive you for failing to ask about Brooke!
I cannot express how disappointing that fact is to me.
ReplyDeleteYea, was sure it was heading to "bought my coworkers lunch". Fuck that, those 50s were a gift from baby jesus
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, if I found it anywhere BUT the street, I probably would have, but you know what would have happened if I tried to return two $50s I found on the sidewalk? Whoever I asked would have lied and said it was theirs. Pros and cons came down on the side of keeping it.
ReplyDeletePlus, last night while I was at the supermarket buying stuff to make dinner, I had someone approach me and ask me to buy them food, for their mother was in the hospital and the five siblings had nothing to eat. So I bought them $30 worth of cheese and salami.
Almost instant karma, ladies and gentlemen.
I can't wait until everyone starts with "ZOMG JEFF JARRETT IS COMING TO WWE!!!"
ReplyDeleteI am not sure why the grudge Vince has against Jeff is so strong... but when he went on air to announce that he bought WCW one of the very first things he did was say Jeff Jarrett was fucking fired... that is how important this grudge is to him. We have a better chance of them showing Benoit footage again than we do of JJ being in WWE.
I hope it goes something like this:
ReplyDeletehttp://youtu.be/cDvrOAp_KTc
Even Austin had to suffer through some bad segments every once in awhile...
ReplyDeleteSo they would have extra cash to buy me shitty Secret Santa gifts? Please.
ReplyDeleteHey I am not criticizing... if I saw someone drop them I would keep that shit for myself. This is the jungle ladies and gentlemen (and OfficerFarva) kill or be killed... I am disappointed that you weren't more celebratory about your sentence being commuted though.
ReplyDeleteI've apparently turned into Scrooge today - I fully expect visits from three ghosts tonight, telling me how lucky I am and making me see the true meaning of the season.
ReplyDeleteBah fuck those fucking Communists
ReplyDeleteI want to see it but Jarrett never drew shit for Vince anyways. It's not like a Warrior reconciliation bc there's no money to be made by Vince reconciling with Jarrett
ReplyDeletehttp://youtu.be/uUPHlAbAf2I?t=50s
ReplyDeleteAre you kidding? That's the second-best thing that's happened to me today (the money, I mean. The forgiveness for Brooke is the best).
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas, 'llax! Merry Christmas!
I fully supported his decision.
ReplyDeleteWhich one? Keeping the money? Or not asking about Brooke?
ReplyDeleteI wasn't criticizing, I absolutely would have stashed them also
ReplyDeleteI really am like Santa Claus... except you can see my abs.
ReplyDeleteSame here... if it wasn't me it'd be someone else.
ReplyDeleteSo you're like that painting of Jesus?
ReplyDeleteThere is zero benefit for WWE to sign Jarrett to a contract. He didn't draw when he was active, he helped to create the mess that is TNA and he has little-to-no real name recognition.
ReplyDeleteBut, would Vince do it as a favor to Jerry Jarrett? Is Jerry on the outs with the company, too? I can never remember.
I am not familiar
ReplyDeleteThe money. Free shit is good. I need more info about the Brooke situtation, she is a very delicate subject...
ReplyDeleteI thought he was cool with Jerry.
ReplyDeleteAnyway according to that mamo, Jarrett is still an investor in the company.
I interview Bully Ray a couple months back and I neglected to ask him about being so close to Brooke and DAT ASS, and it offended 'llax verily.
ReplyDeleteSarcasm doesn't work to well online I guess...
ReplyDeleteYou asked us for questions to ask him, and I provided the Clash of questions... THE ONLY ONE THAT MATTERED and you failed to deliver... but your greed today has made that all a thing of the past.
ReplyDeleteThere is a joke on Family Guy/American Dad that Jesus had great abs.
ReplyDeleteI know I'm in the minority but I'm in the "Brooke Is hot camp". People that disagree ate delusional psychopaths
ReplyDeleteI was talking about Hogan. We're you talking about Tessmacher?
ReplyDeleteI hear eating delusional psychopaths can be a chore.
ReplyDeleteNow that is what they should have done for Raw instead of that Bad Santa crap.
ReplyDeleteMaybe they could have turned Alberto Del Rio face for a night.
ReplyDeleteOr at the very least, booked him on the show.
ReplyDeleteI hate the fucking influx of new years resolutioners and "I gained 5 holiday pounds people" that infiltrate your gym every December, January and February
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, most people don't make it to February.
ReplyDeleteI take it you weren't a fan of his male chauvinist gimmick?
ReplyDeleteYea. Huge drop off usually 3rd- 4th week in January.
ReplyDeleteBy the way Vince's grudge for JJ is so strong because when Jeff was leaving for WCW his contract was officially ended right before a PPV and he was IC Champion. He went to Vince and told him he wanted (I believe) $150,000 to wrestle the one match to drop the IC Title to Chyna. If I was Vince I would still hold that grudge as well.
ReplyDeleteMost of them are gone by February, but yeah I hate that I can't find an elliptical because of a bunch of people that won't be there in a week.
ReplyDeleteI am aware of that story... but hasn't he let things worse than that go?
ReplyDeleteI am not a fan of his... but male chauvinism is always good.
ReplyDeleteProbably but like what was brought up in the other thread, he stood to make money off of letting those things go. I really can't see him making money off of Jeff Jarrett. Nobody will be saying "wowzers, I need to order that PPV, Double J is going to be wrestling".
ReplyDeleteI like the way you think
ReplyDeleteJarrett's BEST CASE SCENARIO would be a "surprise" Rumble entry, and not being utterly buried before his elimination.
ReplyDelete(Say, someone no-selling the guitar shot AND the Stroke, popping up, and ending Jarrett in less than 10 seconds. Think that would get someone over?)
As a part-time personal trainer, I welcome these people..especially when they pay their money upfront.
ReplyDeleteOh, I'm sure. Can't begrudge that. As a gym member, it sucks tho. 3 weeks of cluttered/ worse workouts bc of people that won't be there in February.
ReplyDeleteI could be missing something, but was Jarrett even relevant enough to warrant such hyperbolic rumors?
ReplyDeleteIt was more Raw Roulette than Royal Rumble. Besides, your name is PARALLAX. Aren't you supposed to be associated with horrible things that we eventually regret (like 90s Green Lantern comics)?
ReplyDeleteI thought Jeff just wanted everything that was owed to him before going through with the match.
ReplyDeleteThe $150K was his cut of the various royalties... but while wrestlers usually didn't see that money until months down the road, he wanted it NOW.
ReplyDeleteAt least, that's the version I've heard.
Aha, that explains it!
ReplyDelete"Ok, ma'am, this is your proper form for this move"
::Shows Brooke gif::
Would work a better match too.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you have to do to be a personal trainer? I think I could do well with that... I know a lot about fitness, I look the part, and I know how to motivate people from Kung Fu... something I have been meaning to look into.
ReplyDeleteThat shit is simple. Go to your local gym and find out what is open and what certifications you need. Then get the test online. (usually it's a video and booklet.) Take the test send it back and they send you a cert.
ReplyDeleteThe boxing cert. was easier than that (or harder depending on who you ask) We had to train for 8 hours with a 30 minute break in between.
Unfortunately they look like this:
ReplyDelete*Shows Awesome Kong pic*
It sucks from a workout perspective. Especially the ones that just sit on the machines and talk or the ones that don't put the weights back.
ReplyDeleteI have a friend who does it at a regular gym and does ok, but he started putting up ads on Craigslist and other places like that. He's got like 15-20 outside clients now and it's great supplemental income he says.
ReplyDeleteSo the story that he held Vince up for money is kind of bullshit. JJ was just being a dick about royalties and such.
ReplyDeleteWarrior?
ReplyDeleteThat's why my New Years Resolution this year is to give less fucks.
ReplyDeleteOn a related note, I'm pretty sure I saw Ricky Reyes working out at the gym I go to a few days ago. Dude had some tiny-ass calves...
It's Vince's own goddamn fault for leaving the title on him when he wasn't under contract. Hell, it was going to Chyna anyway, it's not like just stripping him of it would've devalued it more.
ReplyDeleteHey now, Hal Jordan was/still is boring as shit & Kyle Rayner wasn't that bad...
ReplyDeleteI've always like Double J, but it's probably time for him to retire.
ReplyDeleteOK, I deserved that.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xN2yA2Shxxg
ReplyDeleteThat might be the underlying issue here- Jeff has been rumored to be a part of at least one group that wants to buy TNA from the Carters, so his continued employment may be a conflict of interest.
ReplyDeleteEither way, if Dubajay comes back...no, I think I'm fine with never hearing "slapnuts" again. Jarrett's 46 and never really was a big draw. I can't see him working for Vince.
WOW. Just...just...man, that's harsh. I mean, it's true, but...harsh.
ReplyDeleteUgh, me to. I used to go to this awesome gym that had something of a hall way leading to a huge gym. It was like walking out to Wrestlemania. One day after New Years I walked out and was horrified - people every where! And the worst gym people - the ones who don't know what they're doing.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I think it has more to do with Jeff Jarrett not being worth letting go of a grudge to work with. He's well liked though, so I could see him getting the Raven hire and just not having anything to do with Vince.
ReplyDeleteJeff Jarrett was one of those guys that I could tell was talented and wanted to care about but by the time he established a character that was working he bolted to WCW and had a version of that character shoved down my throat to the point I've been sick of him ever since. If he was in the Royal Rumble, I'd be sick of him by the time he was eliminated.
ReplyDeleteIf I had personal issues, I'd rather they say I had some type of injury. Saying it's personal doesn't keep it very personal.
ReplyDeleteUhhh do I know you?
ReplyDelete