WWE's been using the same fucking fake crowd noises since like 1995. You'd think they'd at least have a wide variety of canned cheers but nope, the same damn one every time.
The film was real good. Nice job of capturing 60s Disneyland, some nice humor throughout. I know some people will grouch about the truthfulness of some scenes, but that didn't bother me, ultimately.
I hear that. Wouldn't it be great to modify the format by now? The worst part is TNA just goes and copies this formula and makes themselves seem second rate.
That promo literally served no purpose but to announce tonight's card, which...I mean, I just don't know why that's something we need. We made it through Raws just fine in the early 90s without an opening promo, and with Vince and King just running down the night's card. Sure, those Raws were often terrible, but the format was sound.
I hate that, for something like every single Smackdown for the past six months, we need the opening promo booked into impromptu six-man tag.
I'm pretty sure if you looked back on the results for every Smackdown going back to around June, you'd find a nearly unbroken streak of such openings. It's absolutely infuriating.
So is Kaitlyn a heel now, or is this yet another in the interminable series of Total Divas Cast vs. Divas Who Should Be Jealous They Aren't On Total Divas?
Most people won't care, but it really bugs me the Bellas aren't twins anymore. They don't even pretend anymore. Different hair, different outfits, different styles, different bust sizes...
So E! was reairing the Total Divas finale, and I hadn't seen a single episode since about the fourth episode of the entire series. So I ask for people who might know, but have they always portrayed Natalya as such a raging, chip-on-her-shoulder bitch?
Oh man, fuck her stupid-ass, compensatory machisimo-having family. I can get being reticent to give a guy a shot after being burned by her last fiance, but every one of her brothers pretty much walked around with their chests puffed out, as if their dicks were divining rods. I've dealt with overprotective, self-important, testosterone excessive brothers of girlfriends, so yeah, fuck those guys.
Pretty much everybody on the main cast are terrible human beings aside from Trinity (Naomi on the Funkadactyls) and Jojo. Though Brie is a lot less of a bitch than Nikki. Outside of the main cast, Cena and Bryan are pretty good too.
They were right to be concerned and have reservations about it... but they handled it about as poorly as you can... like I found myself feeling sorry for that no talent bitch they were so awful.
Nikki works on my last fucking nerve. He TOLD you he didn't want marriage or kids. You have the right to be upset, but you pretty much have no right to be surprised by any of this. Maybe you should have taken him at his word when he said he didn't want kids, instead of taking it as a challenge to change him.
If they want the crowd to connect with this guy, they need to do two incredibly simple things:
1) Give his mask eye/mouth holes. (Yes, I know his name translates to "Faceless," but Rey Mysterio would never have gotten as over as he did if he couldn't use his eyes and mouth to express himself 2) CUT IT OUT WITH THE FUCKING LIGHTS
I'm gonna miss that shitty stadium.
ReplyDeleteOnly been there once, where I froze my ass off during a game in July. Didn't think that was possible in California in July.
ReplyDeleteI made sure that I didn't wrap any Christmas presents just in case Christmas was cancelled!
ReplyDeleteMark
ReplyDeleteDont feel bad tho, I really thought del rio killed santa last year
ReplyDeleteIsn't it still technically possible for San Fran to host another playoff game there?
ReplyDeleteChecked out a matinee of Saving Mr. Banks. Tom and Emma are, unsurprisingly, pretty great.
ReplyDeleteSince I've watched the Botchamania's I keep hearing Terry Funk's "forever!" when the typical WWE flashes.
ReplyDeleteI can tell already that it's going to be a long, long night.
ReplyDeleteHow's the film itself?
ReplyDeleteDoes anyone in New England want tickets to a show called 'Jewmongous' in Boston, or the 12/27th performance of Miracle on 34th street? They're free!
ReplyDeleteHaha, Mountie and IRS shout out!
ReplyDeleteWas debating between that or american hustle last night. Hustle won out
ReplyDeleteWell, WWE has ruined everything else this year, let's see how they ruined Christmas.
ReplyDeleteI'd laugh if Bad Santa wins.
ReplyDeleteIs this like the fifth show in a row where the Authority gets the opening segment?
ReplyDeleteThe Bay Area isn't very warm as is, now include that with going to a stadium next to a body of water.
ReplyDeleteAnytime I go to a Giants game, I have to wear layers.
Kane in a Santa hat, enough said.
ReplyDeleteCandy Kane?
ReplyDeleteAre they faces or heels this week?
ReplyDeleteWell he did used to be the Christmas Creature!
ReplyDeleteHanding out kandy kanes
ReplyDeleteThat was funny.
ReplyDelete"Is that Dr. Spock's offspring?"
ReplyDeleteHe doesn't know that Spock and Dr. Spock are different does he?
....Dammit.
ReplyDelete*Upvote*
The announcing is gonna be unbearably bad tonight
ReplyDeleteITS A CHRISTMAS KREATURE!!!
ReplyDeleteThey could still win home-field advantage through the NFC playoffs.
ReplyDeleteWhich is different from every other week how...?
ReplyDeleteDamn right.
ReplyDeleteComment of the night. Its over
ReplyDeleteI'm honestly surprised they didn't dress Kane up as that monstrosity to do a run-in during the Santa match.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to go with face
ReplyDeleteI used to find Stephanie very attractive. I don't now. I'm sure she'll be heartbroken at this news.
ReplyDeleteIt's Christmas.
ReplyDeleteGod, I already feel like this show is written for the mentally deficient.
ReplyDelete"In this ring..." IN AUSTIN, TEXAS.
ReplyDeleteNOT LIVE FROM THE NORTH POLE, ASSES!
She's still hot to me dammit
ReplyDeleteThat evil Santa music sounded like something out of Kingdom Hearts.
ReplyDeleteIs this recorded?
ReplyDelete*Cough* "Card subject to change" *Cough*
ReplyDeleteprobably
ReplyDeleteTrue, but Its gonna be mostly comedy segments i bet so we get comedian cole/jbl for 90% of the time as opposed to 20%. Definite loss for us
ReplyDeleteI see that the bookers are hung up on their "let's beat a match type to death this week" gimmick. This week it's lot of six man tags!
ReplyDeleteYes. Taped last Tuesday.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I wouldn't kick her out of bed.
ReplyDeleteYeah I think it is taped.
ReplyDeleteAh ok... I thought the crowd noise seemed off.
ReplyDeleteNo Lawler makes it 33% better automatically.
ReplyDeleteMath is my friend.
World Wrestling Entertainment
ReplyDeleteEh, Whatever
... Another reason to cheer Evil Santa? SOLD!
ReplyDeleteId put it in all her holes
ReplyDeleteWrestleMania 30: Viper vs. Snake, Orton vs. Jake Roberts. Book it!
ReplyDeleteWWE's been using the same fucking fake crowd noises since like 1995.
ReplyDeleteYou'd think they'd at least have a wide variety of canned cheers but
nope, the same damn one every time.
Hey, Orton's holding the title upside down again.
ReplyDeleteOrton held the WWE belt upside down again.
ReplyDeleteGood job dumbass.
I know. I'd love for Kevin Dunn to screw up and for there to be a "Let's Go Bret!" chant in there.
ReplyDeleteFinal Regular Season/Monday Night game. Still a big deal.
ReplyDeletePlus, I doubt there were will be time or much attention paid for these festivities when it's the NFC Championship.
She is a solid 6.5 - 7.5 depending upon the day
ReplyDeleteIf he ever decided to quit he could have the most epic last day of work ever
ReplyDeleteI'll push her as high as 8.5... rare, but still doable for her.
ReplyDeleteIt looks like a M for mediocre.
ReplyDelete"I thought of the perfect gift idea..."
ReplyDelete3 way?
The film was real good. Nice job of capturing 60s Disneyland, some nice humor throughout. I know some people will grouch about the truthfulness of some scenes, but that didn't bother me, ultimately.
ReplyDeleteI kind of hate the Monday Night Wars for getting us started on evil authority figures and 20 minute opening promos.
ReplyDeleteDOES THIS MEAN AN ALLIANCE WITH THE MIZ?!?!?!?!?
ReplyDeleteWhat was the point of repackaging Kane?
ReplyDeleteDid they make Kane retire or something?
ReplyDeleteMaybe on her best say... I think that is a tad generous though.
ReplyDeleteI know it's just wrestling, but are these bad guys, or good guys or what?
ReplyDeleteNone. There was no point.
ReplyDeleteNor, unsurprisingly, a storyline explanation.
I hear that. Wouldn't it be great to modify the format by now? The worst part is TNA just goes and copies this formula and makes themselves seem second rate.
ReplyDeleteSNow shooting out the ringposts would have gotten this segment *****.
ReplyDeleteHowever, it settles comfortably into DUD territory.
Ugh, too sober for this shit.
ReplyDeleteNo idea. Libertarian Kane would be quite funny, but he just stands there in a suit and occasionally turns lights red and hands out candy.
ReplyDeleteSeven sounds about right
ReplyDeleteI still have faith that it will be revealed that the Wyatts were working for HHH, and when they took Kane out, they repackaged him for the Authority.
ReplyDeleteNot much faith, but still...
Such a shitty mnf option also
ReplyDeleteHow was Hustle? I'll probably check it out before the break is over.
ReplyDeleteGlen Jacobs: Vince, Hunter, I really need a break. I can't be going on the road all the time.
ReplyDeleteVince: I got nothing.
Triple H: I got an idea. To make up for the whole Katie Vick thing...we can repackage you as Corporate Kane!
I was so excited for Repulickane... instead we got... this
ReplyDeleteI don't drink, but that opening segment has me reconsidering.
ReplyDeleteMaybe there was snow but the fire in Kane's damned heart from the pits of hell melted it.
ReplyDelete(I do admit to a 1 point bias for her, based on past looks.)
ReplyDeleteDude I'm asking the same thing. So confused right now
ReplyDeleteThat promo literally served no purpose but to announce tonight's card, which...I mean, I just don't know why that's something we need. We made it through Raws just fine in the early 90s without an opening promo, and with Vince and King just running down the night's card. Sure, those Raws were often terrible, but the format was sound.
ReplyDeleteHaha, Repulickane. Good one.
ReplyDeleteWHY IS KEVIN HART EVERYWHERE ALL THE TIME?
ReplyDeleteThis is math you dont even have to be asian to do. Luckily im half asian
ReplyDeleteI liked when she was blonde... which is odd since I generally don't care for blondes.
ReplyDeleteDid this Foot Locker steal music from Thor or something?
ReplyDeleteFrank Gore running mthrfkrs over? That is a shitty option?
ReplyDeleteBecause he has a lot of heart?
ReplyDelete:: Shows himself out ::
Is that Ice Cube-Kevin Hart movie written by the WWE writers? It looks like it. I bet they dance too.
ReplyDeleteExactly. Just throw up tonight's matches with Cole saying that the Authority booked them. Would've saved 10 minutes of TV time.
ReplyDeleteHe's a new commodity.
ReplyDeleteSpecial editions of Raw and Smackdown ignore continunity.
ReplyDelete...like more than the usual ignoring they do.
Good girl AJ, staying out of this shit.
ReplyDeleteVickie's in this? Fantastic.
ReplyDeleteI'm over these diva tag matches. Thankfully this isn't elimination rules.
ReplyDeleteI hate that, for something like every single Smackdown for the past six months, we need the opening promo booked into impromptu six-man tag.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure if you looked back on the results for every Smackdown going back to around June, you'd find a nearly unbroken streak of such openings. It's absolutely infuriating.
I like how they never use AJ in these stupid contests and shit... kind of fits the idea that she is above this stupid shit.
ReplyDeleteIs this actually live?
ReplyDeleteBonus points for the diva wearing bright green.
ReplyDeleteAJ is pretty much the hottest wrestling chick ever. Yeah, I said it.
ReplyDeleteMaybe Stacy Keibler, but still. Damn.
Is that Aksana?
ReplyDeleteNever mind I figured this would be some sort of costume contest or some bullshit
ReplyDeleteI think so. I have no idea who like 70% of the divas are.
ReplyDeleteTamina is one of those girls that fucks you, not the other way around (strictly speaking heterosexually)
ReplyDeleteSo is Kaitlyn a heel now, or is this yet another in the interminable series of Total Divas Cast vs. Divas Who Should Be Jealous They Aren't On Total Divas?
ReplyDeleteMost people won't care, but it really bugs me the Bellas aren't twins anymore. They don't even pretend anymore. Different hair, different outfits, different styles, different bust sizes...
ReplyDeleteVery disappointing.
I randomly checked out his Wikipedia and he was born in Spain(Glen Jacobs, not Kane).
ReplyDeleteTHEY MISSED OUT ON LATIN LOVE KANE.
Musical chairs would've been more entertaining.
ReplyDeleteEven Cole doesn't know who the Divas are!
ReplyDeleteThe latter, not the former.
ReplyDeleteSTOP BEING INDIVIDUALS, FFS!
ReplyDeleteThey are ignoring the match. Not sure if I should be pissed about that.
ReplyDeleteAJ with "That's not Rosa, she's home." just made her 100% better than the other two at the table combined.
ReplyDeleteIn Texas.
ReplyDeleteHe could have teamed with Eddie.
ReplyDeleteTONY THEY BE A CLUBBERING
ReplyDeleteIt's REALLY scary that all these people are wearing Santa hats. Reminds me of that druid arena in the old Smackdown v. Raw game.
ReplyDeleteTHAT was a weird move by Aksana. I like it.
ReplyDelete...
ReplyDeleteThis is the worse spot of all time.
So E! was reairing the Total Divas finale, and I hadn't seen a single episode since about the fourth episode of the entire series. So I ask for people who might know, but have they always portrayed Natalya as such a raging, chip-on-her-shoulder bitch?
ReplyDeleteI think it's cute. At least they didn't blow it.
ReplyDeleteA good old-fashioned Failure-Go-Round.
ReplyDeleteThe fans booing must be loud cause they couldn't even fix it in post
ReplyDeleteIt's ok, AJ's on commentary.
ReplyDeleteTamina killing all six would have redeemed it. Also, BOO to Aksana eating the loss.
ReplyDelete6 minutes of my life ill never get back
ReplyDeleteThat last part wasn't exactly smooth, even according to Diva standards.
ReplyDeleteWWE going to catch heat for making fun of Kwanza!
ReplyDeleteI support this.
ReplyDeleteAJ would never have been seen as hot 20 years ago. It's only now that Americans have become acclimated to the Japanese lolicon style of sexiness.
ReplyDeleteThey haven't decided what she is. She's either the sweetheart or the crazy bitch, depending on the ep.
ReplyDeleteAJ on commentary saved that segment from being a total dud, although not by much.
ReplyDelete1) Can't dance on cue
ReplyDelete2) Can't put hands together for the Saved by the Bell, goooo Bayside spot.
IDK I am in the same situation as you... man what a bunch of douche nozzles Eva MArie's family are... explains a lot.
ReplyDeleteWHAT? They couldn't even keep it continuous!
ReplyDeleteLAST TUESDAY IN TEXAS.
ReplyDeleteI feel like less of a person after that... and I routinely fuck married women.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.wwe.com/f/styles/photo_large_lightbox/public/photo/image/2013/12/13_Aksana_09232013JR_220b.jpg
ReplyDeletehttp://www.wwe.com/f/styles/photo_large_lightbox/public/photo/image/2013/12/15_Aksana_09232013JR_197b.jpg
Black Haired Aksana is about 2 points hotter than Blonde Haired Aksana. IMO.
They are faces now. The identical outfits was part of them doing heel switcheroos.
ReplyDeleteCommercial question: traditional xmas main course for your family. Turkey? Ham? Something else?
ReplyDeleteDamn, no President Kane?
ReplyDelete(sad)
I agree with your opinion.
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas! I hope you like suckiness.
ReplyDeleteHe's from Hell. Through fire and brimstone as God as my witness
ReplyDeleteOne or other of those depending on what Mama Parallax is in the mood to make... I prefer ham since Thanksgiving is turkey
ReplyDeleteOh man, fuck her stupid-ass, compensatory machisimo-having family. I can get being reticent to give a guy a shot after being burned by her last fiance, but every one of her brothers pretty much walked around with their chests puffed out, as if their dicks were divining rods. I've dealt with overprotective, self-important, testosterone excessive brothers of girlfriends, so yeah, fuck those guys.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I've kept those two open on here since they were posted... a week ago?
ReplyDeleteWWE, the world leader in making attractive women seem uninteresting.
ReplyDeleteMines lasagna and a ham
ReplyDeleteHam....hard to overcook/f it up....big burn out potential by christmas dinner to get too exotic cooking wise
ReplyDeletePretty much everybody on the main cast are terrible human beings aside from Trinity (Naomi on the Funkadactyls) and Jojo. Though Brie is a lot less of a bitch than Nikki. Outside of the main cast, Cena and Bryan are pretty good too.
ReplyDeleteHe emphasizes Hell with a purr.
ReplyDeleteWe typically do Italian.
ReplyDeleteHam.
ReplyDeleteYou are the most interesting man on the blog. Fcku safely my friend
ReplyDeleteDid i just see a commercial for Rocky Balboa vs Raging Bull???
ReplyDeleteBoth.
ReplyDeleteThey were right to be concerned and have reservations about it... but they handled it about as poorly as you can... like I found myself feeling sorry for that no talent bitch they were so awful.
ReplyDeleteWhy cant they just do porn?
ReplyDeleteNikki works on my last fucking nerve. He TOLD you he didn't want marriage or kids. You have the right to be upset, but you pretty much have no right to be surprised by any of this. Maybe you should have taken him at his word when he said he didn't want kids, instead of taking it as a challenge to change him.
ReplyDeleteNot fixing Cole's botch was funnier.
ReplyDeleteWITH KEVIN HART!
ReplyDeleteJust imagine what depraved stuff they can do. Seriously, think about it. Right now.
ReplyDeleteYou haven't seen that yet?
ReplyDeleteWow, the Did You Know had nothing to do with WWE self-fellating.
ReplyDeleteDid You Know...? Christmas is kayfabed.
ReplyDeleteWatching Littlest Petshop with my daughter. Is that better or worse than Raw?
ReplyDeleteWho booked this crap?
ReplyDeleteTurkey. From Thanksgiving to New Year, any diet gets abandoned for Turkey Is My Life.
ReplyDeleteSin Cara speaks!
ReplyDeleteLittlest Petshop probably has smarter, less-patronizing writing.
ReplyDeleteAND have your slut train of friends put him on the spot like that and make him humiliate her
ReplyDeleteHold on, she was engaged before?!
ReplyDeleteSo who is Sin Cara this week? I think they should rotate it among the wrestlers every week.
ReplyDeleteNikki is one of those women who think they can change men's minds via cooking/sex/whatever. We'll enjoy the perks but we're not changing our minds.
ReplyDeletewho the hell let that happen?
ReplyDeleteSin Cara speaks!! It's a Christmas Miracle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteWhat Sin Cara said was "wah wah wah wahhh wah wahhhh"
ReplyDeleteAlthough that "He will change his mind" shit is typical female behavior.
ReplyDeleteSin Cara's REAL Christmas wish: Less injuries.
ReplyDeleteAnd Steamboated his larynx. Poor guy can't not catch a break.
ReplyDeleteThe production people are mailing it in for the holidays too.
ReplyDeleteTranslation she is every woman ever.
ReplyDeleteWWE films might make more money from that.
ReplyDeleteThey're even having him speak? I am really liking the new Sin Cara.
ReplyDeleteIs that the first time hes spoken on wwe tv? I dont ever remember him doing it before
ReplyDelete...they do so much crap, I'd go for something silly like that. Khali's week would be fun
ReplyDeleteAre Sin Cara's lights yellow because that's what they think Mexico looks like?
ReplyDeleteI take it she was completely oblivious to how his last marriage ended.
ReplyDeleteIf they want the crowd to connect with this guy, they need to do two incredibly simple things:
ReplyDelete1) Give his mask eye/mouth holes. (Yes, I know his name translates to "Faceless," but Rey Mysterio would never have gotten as over as he did if he couldn't use his eyes and mouth to express himself
2) CUT IT OUT WITH THE FUCKING LIGHTS
Sin Cara:
ReplyDelete"A Merry Christmas to us all; God bless us, every one!"
Thank you sir.
ReplyDeleteWhich Sin Cara is this again?
ReplyDeleteAnd he's spoken before.
The writers should have "Sin Cara" cut anti-Mexico promos, when it's obvious that Zeb is doing the voice over.
Cena just got +10 from me if he actually shamed her. He's still well under-par career... but a positive should be acknowledged.
ReplyDeleteI think it was.
ReplyDelete