This came in a few days ago from a "Stan". Thought it'd be a good discussion generating question.
"What is the most awkward or uncomfortable situation/interaction you've ever been apart of, or witnessed."
"What is the most awkward or uncomfortable situation/interaction you've ever been apart of, or witnessed."
As a resident, I was in a room while a slightly autistic girl explained to her mom she had consensual sex with 12 guys the previous night at a party. So fucking awkward
ReplyDeleteBreaking up with my ex, over the phone. It took 2 hours. She was stubborn, you see.
ReplyDeleteI tend to be oblivious and/or cause awkward situations, but I can recall one.
ReplyDeleteI took a legit bluesman/musician to a local guitar store for browsing/shopping. Why? Well, we both like guitars. It's a thing. He is African American, and I remember getting the distinct vibe that the sales guy, whom I had dealt with a number of times, didn't like the guy and did not provide the level of service I had seen multiple times. I remember getting the impression that he was a racist.
I asked the bluesman afterwards if he had gotten that feeling and he said that he had not. But, I have subsequently avoided the store and have only bought something there maybe once, and it was not a big ticket item.
I suppose this was awkward only to me, actually.
That whole Katie Vick thing.
ReplyDelete*Witnessing a sun burnt, crudely tattooed, mustachioed hick making out with his girlfriend/lover, an overweight, pockmarked retarded girl that was a good 20 years his junior, by the Octopus at the Johnson County Fair. The girl had a badly drawn cat tattoo on her right arm (clearly home made and more or less a blob with whiskers) and she had the kind of zits on the forehead that come from greasy hair.
ReplyDelete* A separate fair saw a man, in his late 20s, screaming about Obama by the swing ride when he wasn't trying to pick up high schoolers. This isn't that weird or uncomfortable, but he was topless and even from a distance of 50 feet, he had the largest, most bright red stretch marks I have ever seen. They looked like a road map and criss crossed on his impressively large gunt. I think his Gollum colored skin probably helped the color pop, so to speak.
*Attempting to purchase a switch blade comb for a nephew at a flea market and trying to dicker with a man whose entire neck and chest (unbottoned shirt of course) was COVERED with bright blue moles. It looked like he was trying to eat a bowl of blueberries and spilled it all over himself.
This post made me sick to my stomach. You paint quite the picture here dude.
ReplyDeletePretty sure this one has been done before... anyway I am generally far to uncaring of other people's opinion to feel awkward in any memorable way... I am sure there have been instances but nothing so bad that it really stands out.
ReplyDeleteA friend of the family had really bad cancer in his jaw from dipping. It got to the point they had to remove it. For a short amount of time he had nothing but an open wound to his face and a tube that came out to drain fluids. Anyway he went to the friends house and the daughter was scared of him and pretended he wasn't there. I walked up to the back porch and saw him I was startled but played it off as best I could. The problem was he was trying to talk to me and you could imagine how hard that would be. He was really getting frustrated and I calmed him down. I somehow managed to navigate the conversation and when he saw that I understood he said thank you and left. After he was gone my friend's daughter came out and said thank you because it was hard to look at him because she was scared.
ReplyDeleteYou win. Or lose. Whichever.
ReplyDeleteDefinite lose
ReplyDeleteYou live in a good area, huh?
ReplyDeleteUgh. Im pretty sure ive seen this before and it is awful. I cant imagine having a long conversation with him.
ReplyDeleteI told this one once before, but I was best man at a wedding and the groom got up to speak and hadn't prepared, and was drunk and nervous, and so just winged it.
ReplyDelete"Honey, you know I've been with a lot of girls before you. Like, you know what I mean, lots and lots before you. But you're my favourite."
Also as I am not used to the new QOTD naming convention I thought this was going to be a question about an Eminem song.
ReplyDeleteOh and another one that I'm sure that I've told before (I'm pretty sure that Caliber did this same Q), was a friend of mine literally being pointed at and heckled by an entire store full of people, at the end of an already hard day, while he was exhausted and covered in mud, because he'd had sex with an extreme fatty.
ReplyDeleteI drove a car from San Diego to palms spring with my gf, her sister, and their horrific mother as passengers. I could tell something was up immediately but wasn't sure what. 20 minutes into the 3 hour drive it turned into a tearful screaming match about crazy childhood shit and how her little sister thinks my gf is more her mom even though she's only 5 years older.How the mom was drinking or with dudes that were bad etc and the mom turned it back on them and blah blah blah. When we stopped at a rest area (of course a girl can't travel for two hours without using a bathroom... dafuq) the mom even played the "just leave me" card. I sat their stone silent through the entire thing. I also fucking flooded it and we got in 30 minutes quicker. It finally resolved itself later that night when they all got drunk. I dipped the fuck out and went to the casino there after we got to the hotel. When my gf texted me it was over she was all drunk but when we went back to our room I had to hear the whole saga rehashed for 3 hours. That car ride was just some ruthless shit. If I had an eject button I would have hit it.
ReplyDelete1. Getting busted trying to spy on a girl I liked. I was next door, hiding in the bushes, then decided to leave. When I came out, she was coming up the street and saw me. I lied and said that I was coming from my grandmother's house next door. Which, of course, she knew right away, but didn't say anything. I guess she figured on the awkwardness right there being enough.
ReplyDelete2. Not being able to "seal the deal" with a slightly older woman who had neglected needs. She was smoking hot, but the motel room was warm, and I had a guilty conscience about having a girlfriend blah blah blah. I'm a fucking idiot.
3. I was drunk with friends, and we were walking back to town from our spot in the woods. We crossed some train tracks, and one of my friends slipped and fell. I bent down to pick him up, but being inebriated, I grabbed him by the crotch instead. I think I'm the only one who remembers this.
I keep telling people Car Ejection Seats should be as standard as engines and wheels.
ReplyDeleteYou, sir, must get those "it was a one in a million shot" stories. The guy who has some object shoved up his ass, and conveniently does not know how it happened.
ReplyDeleteI once had a guy who tied a string to a light bulb and would shove the light bulb in and out of his ass amd pull it out by the string for the kicks of it. He got it stuck up there. Dead serious. I don't even think that ranks in the top 5 of "stupid shit Ive seen in the ER" stories
ReplyDeleteThat was a Scrubs episode.
ReplyDeleteWas it? Never seen it
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7EpGryDcfw
ReplyDeleteLol. It definitely wasn't that big
ReplyDeleteWhat the hell, man? I accidentally sit on a light bulb ONE TIME...while naked with that light bulb conveniently tied to a string...and suddenly I'm the butt of everyone's jokes. Doctor-patient confidentiality my ass.
ReplyDeleteDamnit. I forgot that was supposed to be confidential. People love sticking shit up their ass and vaginas I've learned.
ReplyDeleteFuture reference this can be done with 3 words... "I am gay" (or straight as the case may be)
ReplyDelete'"What is the most awkward or uncomfortable situation/interaction you've ever been apart of, or witnessed."
ReplyDeletethe rare occasion i talk to de womenz
/thread
If you don't mind her friends and others thinking that about you, go for it.
ReplyDeleteSee, now I want to know the craziest thing someone has put up their vagina when you say something like that. I really want to ask for more ER war stories, but I'm sure you get asked about it way too often.
ReplyDeleteAgreed. Why spread rumors that will work against you?
ReplyDeletePoints for the Simpsons reference, regardless.
Losing my temper when was in High school,some kid that used to bully me called my father a "fat faggot",so a literally jumped and beated the living shit out of him,everyone was scared to watch the scene,me the NERD of the class destroying the big guy.And the bullying increased after that.
ReplyDeleteThought of one!
ReplyDeleteThere is this lady at my job who is probably late 50's early 60's and recently had her son who was in his 30's pass away. Months prior to this my wife brought her son (my step son at the time and now technically) to see me... this lady thought he was incredibly adorable. Her son died right around the time I officially gave up on my marriage and every so often she asks me how he is doing and tells me how cute he is, what he wants for Christmas etc... I don't know how to tell a very nice lady who just lost her son that the kid she is asking about isn't going to be a part of my life anymore so I just try to avoid her as much as I can.
This older women came in one time after a fight with her husbsnd. She wanted to get back at him so decided she'd rake his dentures and hide them up her vagina. She fucking kept them up there for like 2 days and eventually got some crazy bacterial infection up there. She looked like someone you'd see on Cops, complete white trash. So fucking dumb
ReplyDeleteOne of the few I actually know... if someone hadn't gotten it I would have been disappointed.
ReplyDeleteSo you do talk to them from time to time?
ReplyDeletelol. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteThere... there are no words for this...
sounds like when george's girlfriend wouldn't agree to the breakup on seinfeld
ReplyDeletesimpsons did it!
ReplyDeletesort of
Yup, glad I started eating right before I opened this thread.
ReplyDeleteDo the old lady a solid and lie through your teeth, I guess.
ReplyDeleteSounds AWFUL, especially the "just leave me" part. I'd have 0 idea on how to respond to that.
ReplyDeleteOne time during a mushroom-related adventure with my 'white buffalo' we went out to dinner, she got drunk, held my hand the cab ride to purchase them, said she'd never be able to live without me, then, while on shrooms, she proceeded to roll around on the floor and purposefully take her pants off while her boyfriend was one room over, quoting the 'little red panties' part of 'Semi-Charmed Life' very, very loudly.
ReplyDelete"Why are you doing this when is like one room over?"! I asked.
"That's what makes it fun!"
A week later we're downing Jim Beam, she plays footsie with moi, holds my hand again - which is something she was into that month I guess, makes doe-eyes at me, and then I can't remember what happened after that.
I hate whiskey and yellow lights. Hate them.
Pretty sure I've mentioned this before, but having a 9 year old walk in on me and her mother having sex is by far and away the most awkward thing I've ever been a part of.
ReplyDeleteThat's what I have been doing whenever I can't avoid her... or giving ambiguous responses like "How's he doing? "He's great!" which isn't a lie but not an actual answer that confirms I know how he is doing and is therefore not a lie.
ReplyDeleteWhat,explain this!
ReplyDeleteYup. I just sat in the car the whole time. I was-uncomfortable
ReplyDeleteThought of another one!
ReplyDeleteThis happened today... my boss brought in this calendar that his daughter is on the cover of and asked what I thought. This is the calendar...
http://i.ebayimg.com/t/2014-Caddy-Girls-Wall-Calendar-Sexy-Swimsuit-Fashion-Golf-Calendar-models-/00/s/MTIzNlgxNjAw/z/NeMAAOxy63FSqeJ7/$_57.JPG?rt=nc
'Getting busted trying to spy on a girl I liked.'
ReplyDeletedid your son from the future knock you out of the way when you fell from the tree only to get hit by his maternal grandfather's car and then end up the object of his mothers affection in a florence nightingale syndrome type way in which case he then had to put together an elaborate plan to get you and his mom to kiss at the fish under enchantment under the sea dance so that he wouldn't be erased from history at the last moment while he was playing guitar onstage b/c the original guitar player cut his hand getting you out of the trunk and then when they did kiss you had a burst of energy and you ended up playing johnny b goode which was played for check berry over the phone by his cousin the guitar player marvin berry but you got too carried away and went all the who on everything and the audience sat stood in stunned silence and you explained it by saying 'your kids are gonna love it"?
Right?
ReplyDeletePerfection!
ReplyDeleteI used to go out with a chick that has kids (today is her birthday oddly enough, I'm trying to decide if I should call her or not), and one day her daughter forgot how to knock, or didn't even know I was there, and walked in on us.
ReplyDeleteSlamming
ReplyDeleteAnd your response?
ReplyDeleteI'll tell him you said so.
ReplyDeleteNo I won't. I'm not going to tell him that.
Anything besides "she can get donkey punched" is unacceptable.
ReplyDelete"Pretty girl... is that server configured yet? We need to get that up before the POS stations become active for the day"
ReplyDeleteSadly I need to pay the bills more than I need to fuck a model
ReplyDeleteOh the kid must be traumatized.
ReplyDeleteI feel this is a mature conclusion
ReplyDeleteWell, look, if you find out she comes to town to do a signing, you have an in
ReplyDeleteBut who in a Sane mind would show this for their employees.
ReplyDeleteThat's what i was thinking. Dudes fishing for compliments on his daughter while putting his employees in a weird conversation
ReplyDeleteShe's 16 now and is your typical teenage girl, so it didn't affect her too much. Either that or she immediately blocked the incident out of her memory.
ReplyDeleteYou sir take the prize for the most awkward situation.
ReplyDeleteI thought the same thing... why bring this in to show to a department of guys... you must know there is only one thing they are going to say/think.
ReplyDeleteSeveral months ago, I had my new iPhone stolen off of a table at a Barnes and Noble by a teenaged black guy. I saw him do it, but he was faster than me, so I couldn't chase him down. When I got home, I used my wife's phone to call the police, naively thinking that they could do something to help. Well, my adopted son (who's black and seven years old) eavesdrops on the conversation with the cops and hears me say that a young black guy stole my phone. My son immediately freaks out, because in his mind, HE's a young black guy, and he thinks the police will assume HE did it and are coming to take him to jail.
ReplyDeleteSo explaining to my seven-year-old son that he doesn't have to be afraid of the police because I know he didn't steal anything, but when he gets older he MIGHT have to start being afraid of the police because of his skin color, is the most awkward conversation I've ever had.
He basically just saying "hey wanna get fired for saying something about my hot daughter?"Maybe he wanted a fight with someone.
ReplyDeleteWhat's the protocol in this spot? Make the kid leave and ffinish? Stop everything and try to console the kid? Try and explain it later to her or ignore the entire situation?
ReplyDeleteThat reminds me of TAM episode,Charlie remembers he caught his mom with some guy when he was a kid.
ReplyDeleteIs it safe for work?
ReplyDeleteCatch your breath, dude. Actually, there is no future son....so something went right.
ReplyDeleteTell her to get the hell out, finish, and then NEVER mention it to mother or daughter again. I have no idea if the two of them ever talked about it, I didn't ask, and I sure as fuck wasn't having part in that conversation.
ReplyDeleteIt's either a common sense test - who has it and who doesn't - or else the guy is a blithering idiot.
ReplyDeleteVote for idiot.
ReplyDeleteSeconded
ReplyDeleteIf you ever want to feel good about yourself, just go to a county fair or a flea market. It doesn't matter what area of the country you live, you'll look like Gorgeous George when you waltz by the tilt a whirl or the table that sells Mcdonald's Happy Meal's toys.
ReplyDeleteIts a model in a swimsuit, nothing that bad.
ReplyDeleteMotion carries
ReplyDeleteAlso the time that I was in a hottub with just a male friend (no homo) and his Mom came out of the house, completely smashed, and said that we needed a girl in there with us and proceeded to strip to her panties and jump in with us. She was in her late 50s at the time, and looked basically like George Costanza's mother. He doesn't like to talk about that.
ReplyDeleteHahaha. Wtf
ReplyDelete"YOU'RE NOT GIVING AWAY OUR WATER PICK!!"
ReplyDeleteWhy does that sound like CM Punk's wedding vows?
ReplyDeleteFinally I remember one,It was in the exams,the final day everyone had to right a essay about homophobia and how do end it,so there was a guy named Diego,a idiot who had a girlfriend that basically owned him as lap dog,also he used to take steroids and thinking he was the MAN.So to the story he gets in the classroom late,pick the test and just says to everyone"what's homophobia?",and I was the "idiot" for them.
ReplyDeleteWhat the bride did later?
ReplyDeleteI had a friend in med school who lived really close to campus. He had shoulder surgery at some point and was a fan of percocet. His mom was in pretty poor health and had a shit ton of percocet and other pain killer scripts (his dad worked in pharmaceutical sales so I think he knew a Dr who would just write her a ton of scripts).
ReplyDeleteThis dude would always go to his parents, take a few perks and leave. Eventually she started to notice so they set up a Web Cam to catch him doing it. He saw the Web Cam one time...he said at that dinner it was so awkward. His parents knew he was taking their pills, he knew they knew...But they never openly discussed it. Such an awkward dinner I'm assuming
My awkward situations usually happen when I have to fire someone. Twice I've had to let a paid employee go, and both times it was just uncomfortable. I suppose it always is...
ReplyDeleteThe first one came a few months after I was promoted to managing editor at my newspaper group. I was about 24-25 years old and I had one reporter in his late-40s or early 50s, divorced, two kids, mostly pathetic. I was trying to have a staff meeting, but he refused to send me his story list. After I asked him about it the third time in about a half an hour period (we were supposed to meet 45 minutes before hand), he flipped out and told me to go fuck myself. I fired him on the spot, he left swearing about me and slamming shit.
About two hours later, he comes back to the office, goes to speak with me privately, gets on his knees, crying hysterically, begging me to give him his job back. Having already told the publisher, there was nothing I could do, we were all looking for a reason to fire him and he handed it to us.
Last year was the second awkward firing. Young kid, just out of college, who was too spoiled, lazy and senseless for his own good. He'd been on thin ice for the year that I was working here, and was almost fired two or three times. Finally, the publisher and I were on the same page, and we agreed. Unfortunately, we agreed to do it around Thanksgiving, and the plan was to fire him the day after.
Not wanting a scene, I made sure the other reporters came in an hour late, so he would be gone by the time they came in. I explained what I was doing and why (because he asked), and told him I would give him a few minutes to gather his shit and go.
In response, he looked at me and then spent the next 2 minutes TYING HIS SHOES, one then the other, in my office, right next to me. He then went to his desk and started futzing around on his computer. I had to explain to him that he needed to leave and he wasn't allowed to log on to his work computer.
Dude was a fucking idiot.
"Last year was the second awkward firing. Young kid, just out of college,
ReplyDeletewho was too spoiled, lazy and senseless for his own good"
I consistently fear I am this person in my day-to-day life.
You're third paragraph reminds me of a wwe authority figure skit
ReplyDeleteShe lives here. I have seen her a couple of times and knew she was hot... I didn't know she was THAT hot... or a model.
ReplyDeleteIt would be very difficult for anyone to be this bad. Kid was constantly getting shit wrong (one correction after another), would argue with everyone if he was ever told no (with a nasally, "why? Why can't I? C'mon, it'll be a good story!") and was a pain in the ass from jumpstreet.
ReplyDeleteTwo hours - TWO HOURS - after I fired him, he had set up his own political blog. Two hours after that, he had posted his first correction on the site.
Damn. That's rough.
ReplyDeleteCall and ask for a do-over. ;-)
ReplyDeleteThat's awesome. in Chicago at Columbia we had a lot of journalism students like that, they wanted the glory but not like, the grit of it all so when it came time to put actual noses to the grindstones they kind of scoffed and went to cover some event no one really cared about without much of a thesis.
ReplyDeleteAt my new gig I'm kind of doing a little bit of a lot, reviewing, outreach, data entry, and it's kind of overwhelming in the good way so it seems every two seconds I'm messing up, but I'm hoping my dashing good looks and positive attitude make up for it.
The bullying INCREASED? methinks you didn't beat him well enough.
ReplyDeletePerhaps in his mind.
ReplyDeletethey started to call me a psycopath,and that was in the week of the Realengo school shootings.
ReplyDeleteI'm just honestly curious...did the mud have something to do with fatty sex?
ReplyDeleteWas totally expecting you to ask if she was hitched.
ReplyDeleteYea, I went through a phase where id buy alot of shit at flea markets or pawn shops to try and save money. The clientele at both mak me feel like im in an episode of cops
ReplyDeleteShe's not... 1 of his 3 daughters recently married she was the first one to marry and it wasn't her.
ReplyDeleteThe real punch in the crotch is knowing that I'm going to have to have that conversation with him again when he's 10, and 12, and 13. And then help him handle his first Driving While Black experience, which my pasty white ass doesn't know ANYTHING about.
ReplyDeleteHm. Maybe we define "bullying" differently. Being called a "psychopath" doesn't qualify to me.
ReplyDeleteFEELING like you're messing up and actually messing up are two completely different things, especially when you're just starting a new job. I've come close to panic attacks after I've left the office because I thought I was doing horrible, but it's rookie jitters.
ReplyDeleteThe kid that I fired last year has been a thorn in my side since, working with some pretty big (local) websites and reporting on some juicy rumors. I know most of it is bullshit, but it still bothers me at times. But I was having coffee with an elected official last week, and she said to me that everyone in the Queens political circles "cheered" when they heard I fired this kid.
That made my week.
I attended the Great American Bash 2004. /topic.
ReplyDeleteWhat, not enough? I yelled "YOU SUCK!" and my voice popped to comedic levels. Everyone in that section sat silently chuckling, except for one little girl who snapped her head backwards and starred with her mouth hung open. If you have the DVD (why in the world?) you can probably hear it. It was during the Chavo/Mysterio match. It didn't help matters any that the crowd was *dead* during that match, either.
There's a 99.9% she won't pick up the phone anyway, but I'm going to call her later from work, that way in the unlikely event she does answer I have a good excuse to bail on the conversation if I have to. "Hey, I gotta get back to work, call me tomorrow..." Best plan I can come up with.
ReplyDeleteI can't stop laughing.
ReplyDeleteI'm siding with others here...either he's clueless, or checking for common sense/reactions.
ReplyDeleteIt's one of those see it situations.
ReplyDeleteWell, good luck, hope it doesn't get too awkward.
ReplyDeleteStop me if I'm out of line. Do you or he have any African American friends that could help?
ReplyDeleteSeems reasonable.
ReplyDeleteI'll take your word for it, I witness several fights in grade and high school.
ReplyDeleteThat dude sounds terrible. Reminds me of a story from undergrad...my buddy was a senior and for some reason he was taking a sophmore level social sciences class to fill in a requirement. Dude hated the class, was so ready to leave college, and was generally kinda nuts to begin with. He had to do a presentation on something like "improving an existing or starting a new social program." Dude gets up and goes through a power point presentation on starting a MMA to the death tournament for the homeles with the winner getting a new house. I saw his PP and it was riduclious. Said there was awkward silence and general complete discomfort through the entire presentation.
ReplyDeleteIt makes me happy a lot of those people are on drugs now,basically lost their lifes.
ReplyDeleteJust put parachutes with them.
ReplyDeleteHaving flashes of About Schmitt for this scene.
ReplyDeleteI was waiting around before class in University one day, and I heard a conversation behind me that was CLEARLY one guy trying to ask out a girl "subtly", and her shooting him down (via the old "oh I'm doing _____ that time"), but the guy just WOULD. NOT. GET IT. He kept on going with the "yeah, but are you busy LATER that day?" and stuff, with that "fake snarky" voice that some guys do when they're trying to hit on girls. I mean, I ain't no expert with the ladies, but HOLY CRAP. Totally awkward and embarrassing.
ReplyDeleteLast time I heard about him was talking with a friend of mine,he said he now has girl tits and didn't graduated from high school.
ReplyDeleteTrying to fuck my high school girlfriend's best friend. Then both completely cutting off all contact. I felt awkward just talking to them on MSN Messenger.
ReplyDeleteOne time in grade school, there were 2 girls that got into a fight and of their parents was the schools office. When the one parent saw and heard what happen, she called the police, because her husband was a cop.
ReplyDeleteAnd another short story, don't know if this counts as awkward or not but, I had to lock myself in a room or leave my grandparents house because my 90 year plus great grandma with alztimers or however you spell it, went on a violent rampage throwing objects and trying to kill everybody.
First thing that comes to mind is the first (and so far only) time I went to a strip club. This was over the summer, & I've been of legal drinking age for six years now. I'd just been dumped a couple days prior, and figured "why the hell not, I pass this place every day on my walk home from work. This is as good a time as any." I've got nothing against those who do it as a profession, but I just had NO idea how to act in that situation. The fourteen dollar bottles of Bud didn't help things any, either.
ReplyDeleteYes! I think in any kind of creative / competitive situation there are always those people you look at that tend to get a lot of the kudos and you kinda look at em' sideways, and there's nothing quite like getting the vindication of knowing other people think that person or persons are clownshoes.
ReplyDeleteI saw chick fight like this in school because of some older dude,awkward.
ReplyDeleteYeah I always equate that kind of thing to checking out stuff in a Best Buy. I can go, I can look, and I can kind of touch, but I can't install any software, can't take it home, and I have people looking over my shoulder the entire time.
ReplyDeleteNot as much twerking at Best Buy I'd suspect.
ReplyDelete(...and for some reason, I'm incredibly pleased to see that Disqus doesn't consider "twerk" to be a word. Then again, it underlines its own name too so what do they know.)
The most awkward thing that I've ever seen IN MY LIFE was actually on TV. It was a reality type of deal so it was probably fixed, but if it was then they pulled it off REALLY well.
ReplyDeleteI can't remember the name of the show, and I never saw another episode, but the premise of this one was that this chick worked with a guy who she was buddies with but who she had a crush on, and she wanted to ask him out. So she gets on this show and they arrange this ridiculous scenario in some huge mall, involving dozens (maybe more than a hundred) extras all singing and dancing and putting on this huge musical production that he walks through (I think she got him there under the guise of a work trip or something, I can't remember) and at the end of this massive ordeal the host is like "and now Jenna has something to ask you" and so she tells him that she likes being friends but she wants more than that. He totally plays it low key - "well we can hang out a little more one on one and see what happens from there" kind of thing, but she INSISTS that he give her a yes or no answer right there on the spot, on camera, and with dozens of people watching them up on this podium. He tries to give her another out and just sort of non-answers her. By this point you can tell that she's catching on, but again INSISTS that he commit or reject, and so he flat out REJECTS her and says that it's never going to happen, and now they probably can't be buddies anymore either.
It was almost Scott's Tots level of awkward and came off like the real deal.
Like I said, there's no way in hell she's going to answer the phone, and honestly this is one of those cases where I'm hoping to get the answering machine.
ReplyDeleteYeah he kept trying to pull her out without actually touching her, and I kept telling her to stay and party with us.
ReplyDeleteFOURTEEN DOLLARS? I think that's a new record.
ReplyDeleteI SALUTE that guy.
ReplyDeleteif you saw someone driving too slowly, wouldnt you stop them?
ReplyDeletewhen i'm ordering my food
ReplyDeleteYou, sir, are a special kind of asshole. :-P
ReplyDeleteLol. Was it that howie mande show?
ReplyDeleteYeah, it might have been, I can't remember. It was maybe 2 years ago?
ReplyDeleteI used to work in Market Research (phone surveys). There was one guy that I fired for "falsification".. he got hung up on and proceeded to continue the survey as if the person was still on the line.
ReplyDeleteA few years later I had another supervisor job at another Market Research company and the SAME guy started working there.. so lo and behold I had to fire him again.. for the same damn thing!! You think he'd learn..
Just reminded myself of one awkward moment. Working in NYC is always interesting to say the least, but one time we had a trainee at one of my jobs that seemed like a nice young guy. Well as I looked through his paperwork i realized that the nice young man was really a woman dressed and acting like a man.
ReplyDeleteDidn't really matter to me as long as she did her job, but I brought it up to my immediate supervisors that it was going to be a problem when it came time for her to use the restroom. It might make women uncomfortable to have a "guy" in their bathroom unless they know the deal.. and it might be dangerous for her to use the men's bathroom.. Either way we had to scramble with the HR Dept to figure out what to do and how to approach the situation.
We ended up offering for her to use the upstairs supervisor bathroom, but it was really awkward having 4 supervisors watching her like a hawk all day waiting to see which bathroom she was going to use.
Gawd, I think I might have actually seen it parts of it if it wss that mandel t sounds so familiar, I fell asleep before the awkward ending tho. Damnit
ReplyDeleteNo.
ReplyDeleteMy friend had tagged along to this small shithole little town north of us with another guy to play wingman and his girl turned out to be really big. I don't normally say a lot about heavy people, but she was HUGE, like there's very little chance that she moves under her own power these days unless something changed in a big way. He winds up nailing her in the back of a van while the other two are doing it in the front seat.
Several weeks later he and I are back in this town, and he's driving my van for some reason, I don't even remember. It was Januaryish and there had been a thaw and he takes off into this construction site to do doughnuts or whatever, only he doesn't realize that the mud is like a foot deep and he gets absolutely buried stuck.
We tried rocking it, pushing, throwing down sand and stuff, but we weren't getting out. We called a tow truck, but the tow truck got stuck too and had to call another tow truck, who was the owner of the tow truck company (the only one in town) and who told us that we were SOL until spring as far as he was concerned. After all of this we were pretty seriously covered in mud.
We went to a coffee shop to wait for a friend to come and get us. My buddy is feeling pretty down at this point as he didn't even have a job and now he's got my van thoroughly stuck and no idea how to get it out. While we're sitting there I am aware of a table of cute girls looking at us and giggling, I assume that it's the mud. After a few minutes though, one of the girls comes over and says "is it true that you're the guy who fucked Natalie Smith? What was that like? Trying to fuck a waterbed?"
And since this coffee shop is basically THE hangout in this town for the too young to drink set, the place is pretty busy and pretty much everyone, even the girl behind the counter were all listening in and laughing at him. It was a hard day for my pal.
Yeah, I can be a bit of a stinker at times.
ReplyDeleteThat wedding was a complete disaster already before the speech, so she actually just took it in stride. There were some dropped jaws in the crowd though.
ReplyDeleteAlso, this one time in 7th grade, my friends and I were eating in the school cafeteria. They were serving hot dogs and fries. I had just swallowed a bite of hot dog, and I had to sneeze. They were young ladies present, so I covered my mouth, sneezed, and this HUGE glob of snot came out in my hand. Everyone saw it and we were all disgusted. I promptly excused myself and went and sat at another table. It was probably the loser table. That set the course for my high school life right there.
ReplyDeleteI have a bunch of these but here's one you all should get a laugh out of. I was 17 and had a bunch of friends over for I believe Royal Rumble 2001. There were I think 6/7 people over. The PPV isn't over but it's getting to the end and then I hear it. My parents are having sex. Their bedroom shares a wall with the living room. I turn the volume up hoping nobody else heard it. But it becomes clear everybody had heard it. My stomach starts turning. I kept the volume pretty loud but everybody knew what was going on. The feel of the room was very uncomfortable as we all sat there waiting for the PPV to be over. The second the PPV was over everybody flew out of there and thankfully I left the house too as I had to take one of my friends home. I was so pissed at my parents for that but I couldn't really voice my displeasure as that would have been a pretty awkward convo.
ReplyDelete/thread
ReplyDeleteSee, I've always wanted to fire someone... almost had the chance to when some dude who had shown up to his first day to unload a truck throwing up from too much Xanax the night before (which he outright told me, perhaps not knowing I was technically his supervisor) finally fucked up enough for the OTHER managers to wanna shitcan. He stopped showing up instead & I never had the chance. Never even picked up his last check. He was shot dead in his home the day before New Years Eve that year for spraying over some MS-13 graffiti.
ReplyDeleteSkipping 11? Damn neglectful parents.
ReplyDeleteFor the original e-mailer, I would imagine it would have to be the time Shawn Michaels superkicked him backstage.
ReplyDeleteWow, you're leaving all the good parts of that story. What the hell happened at the Strip club?
ReplyDeleteWas it this one?
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sJM_HkLcBc
I immediately decided that strip clubs weren't for me, but having just ended a relationship & never been to one before I decided to stick it out and try to have the normal "strip club experience" (get drunk, get a lap dance, etc). I was miserable the entire time. Who knows, maybe it was just a shitty club - I suspect it was, there was only one other guy there & it's located right in between the LIRR station & a factory building that smells like cat pee (perhaps owned by what I suspect to be some sort of feline mafia). Maybe another club would suit me better, maybe if I hadn't just been dumped I'd have a better time. All I know is I spent the majority of the time there either talking to the bartender about how out of place I felt, or wanting to take out my book and read.
ReplyDeleteA group of us were hanging out over my friends house after school getting high in his bedroom. So his mom comes home from work and walks in on us. She just looks at us, shakes her head and closes the door. No one wanted to leave the room. I would have gone out of the window if it were possible.
ReplyDeleteThe strippers would have had you thrown out soon enough anyway.
ReplyDelete...for reading a book? I doubt it. The one other guy there brought his newspaper - the bartender told me he came in all the time just to have some drinks, not even to get dances or anything. I was a paying customer, I wasn't unruly, I was tipping the dancers (the ones who weren't too lumpy anyway).
ReplyDeleteI worked with a guy that had a dad and uncle that were pharmacists. I don't know my prescription drugs but he was on something that kept him on cloud 10.
ReplyDeleteI guess he was really jonesing one day and tried to get it refilled early one month. His uncle told him the only way he was going to refill it is if someone stole it from him. So this dude broke the window out of his truck, called the cops and said someone stole his medicine. He took the police report to his uncle and got his refill.
That's it.
ReplyDeleteAh, you were tipping the dancers. Was not aware of that part. My brother was quite the strip club connoisseur and he said that anything other than buying drinks and dances gets you thrown out really quickly.
ReplyDeleteWow! That is fucking brutal
ReplyDeleteYou can't get a beer to drink while you walk around best buy though
ReplyDeletePlus, what with there only being two dudes there, they were happy for anything they could get.
ReplyDeleteAt the risk pf sounding stupid, what's dipping?
ReplyDeleteChewing tobacco
ReplyDeleteLol. Good story
ReplyDeleteIn her defense, based on your description of her, she hid it in the one place he'd never look for it.
ReplyDeleteYou eventually knew someone would have to ask; what are the top 5 dumbest things you've ever seen in the ER?
ReplyDeletewho cares about firing people? quitting jobs is where it's at.
ReplyDelete(nothing better than to go to work knowing it will be the last time you will be there and taking the opportunity to tell your boss know what kind of jerk he is and what his employees really think of him)
Damn.
ReplyDeleteWell, there's nothing wrong with tagging a fat bitch, assuming there is actually some kind of actual attraction. But, if you wind up being ashamed...well, I suppose you reap what you sow.
kind of awkward but more "really weird":
ReplyDeletea few months ago I'm out shopping in a supermarket and this black dude keeps loading up his shopping cart with piles and piles of bananas. he pretty much filled up all of his cart with bananas. I was just standing there in disbelief, thinking "isn't this guy aware that how much of a racist cliché this situation is? or does he really not care?"
been there, too.
ReplyDeleteYeah I guess, but at the time I wasn't think "well, gee, good for them". I was too busy dying from embarrassment. One good thing though, the six friends that were there, none of them talked about it at school. I was very thankful for that.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I was looking on the bright side.
ReplyDeleteThat would be death.
the second one sounds like the exact right decision. cheating on your gf is for losers.
ReplyDeleteAh, the old "accidental crotch grab at night by the train tracks"
ReplyDeleteYep. Most disgusting habit I've ever seen.
ReplyDeleteGod, she just cant take the fucking hint...
ReplyDeleteIt is your browser, not disqus.
ReplyDeleteAs I mentioned below, I've been on the other side of that situation a few times.
ReplyDeleteWhen I first saw it I thought it said "Satan", and I'm just thinking that there's no way I'm even getting into a big religious debate.
ReplyDeleteThis is hardly the most uncomfortable, but a recent one comes to mind. My daughter was singing in a school talent show, and they played the actual vocal track instead of the karaoke version. She just went along with it and it looked like this tiny little girl had this big voice. There were murmurs among the crowd.
ReplyDeleteThey eventually fixed it and she sang, but there were these two presumably gay guys behind me making comments about the acts. The entire time my inner voice kept saying, "Please don't say something snarky about my child. Please don't say something snarky about my child". Not comfortable.