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The SmarK Rant for WWE NXT–12.18.13

The SmarK Rant for WWE NXT – 12.18.13

Taped from Orlando, FL

Your hosts are Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton & Tensai. Are they literally drawing names from a hat for these combinations?

COOHHH joins us to start, in celebration of the “200th episode” of NXT. He recaps some of the people who graduated from the system and puts over the fans for making it all a success. So I guess he’s a babyface this week.

And speaking of babyfaces…

Sami Zayn & Tyson Kidd v. Leo Kruger & Antonio Cesaro

Oh my. Tyson is very oily tonight for some reason. The crowd does a “We the People / Sami Zayn” chant, which is interesting. Kidd works on Kruger with an armbar, and Zayn goes with Cesaro while the crowd reminds us of their vote for Match of the Year. Kidd springboards in with a rollup for two, but leaps into a backbreaker as we take a break. Random note: Hulu thinks I live in Nebraska. I guess it’s kind of like Saskatchewan but without the sub-zero temperatures. Back with Kidd getting the heat and Cesaro gets a gutwrench for two. Cesaro to the chinlock and he flattens Kidd with a clothesline, then boots Zayn off the apron. And Kruger goes to the chinlock, but Kidd low-bridges him to put him on the floor. Kruger cuts off the tag once, but Kidd makes the hot tag and Zayn runs wild. Crossbody on Kruger gets two. Charge hits knee, but Zayn recovers with a Blue Thunder bomb for two. Kidd hits Cesaro with a flip dive to wipe him out, and Sami boots Kruger into the corner for the pin at 12:00. Hey, at least they’re doing something with Kidd if they’re not using him on RAW. ***

Meanwhile, Emma nearly POKES NATTIE’S EYE OUT with her dance, which prompts a catty argument about dancing v. wrestling, and they agree to a match to determine the #1 contender.

NXT Flashback! We head back to the first episode, back when it was the pseudo-competition show, as some geek named Daniel Bryan debuts.

Earlier, the first 200 people in line for tickets get to meet JoJo and Eva Marie! I’d hate to see what the next 200 people got. The caterer for Smackdown? Dolph Ziggler’s hairdresser?

Paige v. Sasha Banks

SLAPFIGHT to start and Summer trips Paige to put Sasha in control. She chokes Paige down with a rather vicious rear naked choke, but she breaks out and tosses Banks with a flying wristlock. Paige comes back with clotheslines, and finishes with the PaigeTurner after an accidental collision between the BFFs at 3:50. This was pretty damn stiff (worked stiff, not really stiff) for a women’s match. **

Meanwhile, Colin and Enzo (in a wheelchair) run afoul of Aiden English, who is preparing his singing voice for later. This sets up a SINGING CONTEST at some point, probably next week. I feel like that could be the most awesome thing ever.


Holy SHIT. I don’t even catch what stupid names they give him here. I think Davey Richards was something Billington (nyuk nyuk), and he controls Victor, but takes a beating from Conor. Over to Eddie Cahill (Edwards) and the Pitbulls hit them with stereo dives, which gets two. Back in, Davey with the diving headbutt on Victor for two. He comes back with a running knee, and the Ascension finish Richards with the Total Elimination at 4:20. Hopefully this earns our favorite interns a job. Another minor note: The champs are now just “Conor” and “Victor”. Hunico and Camacho come out for some trashtalking to continue that feud.

Meanwhile, Kofi Kingston runs into Alexander Rusev’s representative, setting up another match.

NXT Title, Lumberjack Match: Bo Dallas v. Adrian Neville

And the awesomeness continues, with HOWARD FINKEL as the ring announcer for this. Quite the assortment of cannon fodder at ringside for this. Dallas makes the first attempt at running, and gets thrown back in and rolled up for two. Bo tosses Neville into Tyler Breeze, and Adrian bitchslaps him as we take a break. Uh oh, there’s your screwjob finish right there. Back with Neville throwing kicks until Bo tosses him to stop that. Back in, Dallas drops a knee for two and goes to a chinlock. Breeze, meanwhile, is still selling the slap. The crowd declares this “Bo-ring”. This is a pretty witty crowd. Neville fights up and gets slammed, and Bo stomps on his head and gets two. 360 clothesline gets two. That was quite the sell. Neville blocks the bulldog and comes back with a low dropkick for two. Enzuigiri and standing shooting star press get two. The crowd now points out that a Bo win means they riot. Good to know. Bo runs away again and gets swarmed by the geeks, and Neville hits EVERYONE with a dive from the top. Bo’s look of sheer terror for that is money. Back in, Neville goes up to finish, but Breeze pulls Bo out of the way and Bo steals the win when Neville crashes and burns, at 11:00 to retain. Thankfully the rioting was merely an idle threat on the part of the crowd. ***

The Pulse

Hell of a show, with all sorts of programs set up and Bo Dallas retaining his title yet again, and the American Pitbulls!

Next week: Antonio Cesaro v. William Regal!


  1. American Pittbulls is a little generic for a wrestling tag team but it could have been a lot worse. I'll take it.

  2. So this would be a good wrestling television program?

  3. Wasn't TCW the name of the e-fed run by Adam Ryland and all those folks back on the EWR battleground back in the day?

  4. Stranger in the AlpsDecember 18, 2013 at 9:13 PM

    Not sure what's up with the format change halfway through. Arial format, copy/paste, boom. And it changes fonts.

  5. Stranger in the AlpsDecember 18, 2013 at 9:15 PM

    Meekin, you're more knowledgeable than I am about that topic. I never really was into e-fed's. I mean, I'm a wrestling geek and all that, but I just didn't get into it.

  6. Based on the praise it's been getting, the answer is yes.

  7. Yeah it's kind of like the nerdiest thing a wrestling fan can do, Like LARPING. Well, except wrestling is LARPING, so I guess uh, it's NLARPING?

  8. Stranger in the AlpsDecember 18, 2013 at 9:17 PM

    Upvote because I have no idea what you're talking about, and that's funny to me. I guess I'll Google it.

  9. Stranger in the AlpsDecember 18, 2013 at 9:18 PM

    And I have. Like in Role Models. That's pretty hardcore nerd.

  10. I like American Pitbulls as a name. Better than the "Team xxx" they've been doing lately.

  11. Role Models was a good film, and it did a good job of showing LARPING to the general public.

  12. The first thought that come to my mind when I read was that American Wolves isn't a very good name, but it is miles better than American Pitbulls

  13. This is fantastic. I promise to start threadjacking every thread to point to yours.

  14. "I guess HHH is a face this week"

    Correction: he is a face *EVERY* our hearts...

  15. "Earlier, the first 200 people in line for tickets get to meet
    JoJo and Eva Marie! I’d hate to see what the next 200 people got. The
    caterer for Smackdown? Dolph Ziggler’s hairdresser?"

    Nope. Just Dolph... hairdresser is getting more work than him and doesn't have time for such shenanigans

  16. So are Edwards and Richards sticking around was this (for lack of a better term) a one shot deal?

  17. And honesty this is closer than I ever expected Davey Richards to get to the wwe either way but I'd love to see the pit bulls make the main roster.

  18. Stranger in the AlpsDecember 19, 2013 at 2:58 AM

    Get outta here. Glad you enjoyed it, though.

  19. I thought this was another good show. I think the first match was punchy-punchy for a while b/c they were trying to get over that Anthony had injured William's "good" hand early in the match. I thought the tag team match was good. Honestly, they probably should have squashed them a little more to put over how pissed they were at the beatdown on Bradford. I really liked the Jr. heavyweight match. Kincaid is fun to watch and has a lot of interested offense. I thought the finish was good but I hate the part where Kincaid brings his legs up for no reason (except for Americos to hook them) just always looks weird if it hasn't been preceded by him doing it and getting out of the pin attempt. The Anthony and Saxon was really good too. It ended the way I think 95% of all lumberjack matches end though, so I was sort of expecting that. I agree that your champ shouldn't be just a lumberjack, but it makes more sense b/c he's in the same stable with Steve Anthony. Also, sometimes Storm looks like a regular sized guy to me, and sometimes he looks like a monster. He was brawling with someone on the outside (Phoenix's been a few days since I watched the show) and he looked like he was twice the size of the guy. Overall though, thumbs up for the show and a great review.

  20. And while I approve of the announcer beatdown as a way to get heat (especially the fat announcer beatdown), I don't care for Sigmon. He's a fine wrestler, but the gimmick of putting the L on his forehead during a match as a taunt doesn't do anything for me.


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