Smackdown
Date:
January 17, 2014
Location:
DCU Center, Worcester, Massachusetts
Commentators:
Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, The Miz
Reviewed by Tommy Hall
The
main story coming off Raw is of course Daniel Bryan turning on the
Wyatts to a huge reaction. I thought Bryan was going to leave them
eventually though this was faster than I was expecting. Other than
that, the road to the Rumble started to pick up on Monday as people
names were added to the match to make it give it far more star power
than it had before. Tonight we should get a few more names added to
the match as the show is in nine days. Let's get to it.
New
Age Outlaws vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust
Non-title.
Cole recaps the turn on Raw and says he doesn't get the suprise at
the Outlaws' treachery. For once, he's absolutely right. Roadie
does the intro and the PG issues get a bit muddled. Why can't Road
Dogg swear on the way to the ring but can when he's introducing
Billy? Goldust and Road Dogg get things going with Roadie suckering
Goldust in for some shaky punches. Goldust takes him into the corner
for some right hands of his own followed by a back elbow to the jaw.
Billy
comes in but is backdropped out to the floor, allowing for a tag off
to Cody. Why Goldust is exhausted already is beyond me as he was
barely touched. He powerslams Roadie down and tags in his brother to
a nice pop. Cody cleans house on Gunn but has to deal with Road Dogg
as well. A double springboard missile dropkick puts the Outlaws down
for two as everything breaks down.
Goldust
and Roadie go to the floor as Cody avoids the Fameasser but has Cross
Rhodes countered as well. Billy gets two off a tilt-a-whirl slam but
still can't hit the Fameasser. There's the Disaster Kick....and
Vickie Guerrero interrupts. She reminds us that the Royal Rumble is
every man for himself, including brother vs. brother. The
distraction lets Billy roll up Cody for the pin at 4:43.
Rating:
C-. Goldust's cardiovascular
issues aside, this wasn't bad until the stupid ending. It's bad
enough that I have to put up with the stupid corporate stuff on
Impact but now I have to put up with it on Smackdown as well. I'd
love to sit down with the creative team and show them some old
matches so they can see other ways heels can cheat to win a match.
What do I have to do to get a cover with feet on the ropes around
here?
CM
Punk says he's going to call out all three members of the Shield.
Literally that's that entire interview.
Here's
Paul Heyman to brag about how amazing Lesnar is, focusing on
destroying Mark Henry. After that though, Lesnar was attacked by Big
Show who implied he could take Brock out. Heyman admits that Big
Show is intimidating but he'll fall to Lesnar at the Royal Rumble.
Heyman
talks about going through wars with Lesnar at his side, meaning he
has to fear no evil. Big Show may hurt Zeb Colter, but he won't
won't hurt Heyman to get to Brock, including on Raw when Lesnar
appears live. Big Show comes out and Heyman is in the crowd before
Big Show is all the way in the ring. Big Show shows us a clip from
Raw where Show threw Lesnar around, followed by Big Show promising to
knock Lesnar out.
Alberto
Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio
Before
the match Rey talks about Del Rio being afraid of Batista, sending
Del Rio into a frenzy to start. He wraps Rey's arm around the rope
but gets sent outside for Rey's sliding splash under the bottom rope.
Back in and Del Rio crotches Rey down to tie him up in the Tree of
Woe for a kick to the ribs as we take a break. Back with Rey hitting
a top rope seated senton, only to run into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker
for two.
JBL
talks about George Washington for some reason as Rey rolls through a
sunset flip and kicks Del Rio in the head for two. The corner
enziguri brings Rey down from the top again but Del Rio can't pin
him. Rey comes back with a tornado DDT for two of his own but Del
Rio hits the Codebreaker on the arm. The armbreaker is countered
into the 619 but the top rope splash hits knees. Del Rio loads up
the low superkicks but Rey counters into a rollup for the pin at
8:25.
Rating:
C+. This took time to get going
but the last few minutes were good back and forth stuff. It was a
nice change of pace for Del Rio to not be on the arm the entire way
through, even though he stayed on the arm as is his custom. This was
way better than their basic match on Raw, which is nice as they have
chemistry together.
Post
match Del Rio jumps Mysterio and puts him in the cross armbreaker.
Naomi
vs. Tamina Snuka
Fallout
from Tamina hitting AJ with the Rear View on Monday. Emma is in the
audience doing her dance again. Miz reads a statement from Maryse
congraulating AJ on breaking her record for longest reigning Divas
Champion. Naomi jumps Tamina to start but is easily knocked down and
backdropped for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Naomi
comes back with some kicks to the ribs and a modified bulldog. A
Bubba Bomb puts Tamina down but the referee is looking at Cameron and
AJ. Tamina uses the distraction to kick Tamina in the head and hit a
split legged moonsault for the pin at 2:35.
Video
on Mae Young. These are always saddening yet cool at the same time.
If there has ever been a woman more willing to do anything to
entertain a crowd, I'd love to see her.
Video
of Bryan turning on Bray Wyatt Monday to a huge reaction.
Here's
Bray without his hat in person with something to say. I love that
you can't see Harper and Rowan until the lights come on even though
they're right next to Bray. He talks about wanting to be powerful
like his father as a child. Bray did his best to appease him and be
just like him but it was never good enough. His father was never
there for him and never entrusted Bray with his kingdom.
Instead
he cast Bray out amidst the sheep, forcing him to walk the earth
alone. But then Sister Abigail saved him by singing the sweetest
songs Bray had ever heard. Bray became obsessed with her beauty and
power, but Abigail told him that Bray would be betrayed again on his
path to righteousness.
Monday
was the moment that Abigail was talking about, when Bray knew he had
to sacrifice himself to be resurrected into the creature he was born
to be. You can't hurt him because he's already dead and he does not
bleed like we do. Daniel Bryan was given a chance to walk with the
reapers but now he will be forced to walk with the saints. More
creepy stuff here as Bray's backstory is slowly filled in.
Punk
is going to call out the New Age Outlaws in addition to the Shield.
If that's career suicide, consider it a gift to the Authority.
Big
E. Langston vs. Fandango
Non-title
as well. Langston hits a quick backbreaker to start and Fandango
bails to the floor. Back in and the dancer pounds away with right
hands but Langston runs him over with a shoulder block. Fandango
avoids a charge in the corner and kicks Big E. to the outside before
pulling Langston's shoulder into the post. Langston is thrown back
inside and we hit the armbar for a few moments as the match slows
down. Big E. easily powers Fandango to the floor as JBL and Miz
argue over who was a bigger star. Fandango is suplexed down, setting
up the Warrior Splash, the running Vader Attack and the Big Ending
for the win at 4:16.
Rating:
D+. Pretty boring match here
but Big E. getting clean wins on TV is the right idea for him.
Fandango got in some offense here instead of just being the sandwich
that Langston had for supper tonight. He's not going to be a big
deal for a long time but it's better than getting squashed.
Shield
thinks it's the other 27 people in the Rumble that need to be worried
instead of the three of them. Ambrose says he wouldn't throw Rollins
out but Rollins says Dean couldn't do it anyway. Rollins would throw
Ambrose out, leading to an argument between the two. Reigns cuts
them off and says he'll throw both of them out and go to
Wrestlemania, but they'll still be a united Shield.
Ultimate
Warrior Hall of Fame video.
Video
on the WWE Network.
We
look back at Kofi shocking Orton on Monday, leading to Orton
attacking Cena's dad. HHH has promised to deal with Orton
internally.
Real
Americans vs. Usos
Colter
is in a wheelchair to sell the attack on Monday. Cesaro and Swagger
do the hand over the heart but Zeb rolls down the ramp without them
holding him in place. Before
the match, Colter, with his voice muffled by the neck brace, says he
wants Lesnar to destroy Big Show at the Rumble before asking the fans
do say WE THE PEOPLE. Jimmy
has bad ribs and Jey has a bad shoulder due to the cage match on
Monday.
Swagger
throws Jey around to start and the injuries take their tole
immediately. Off to Cesaro for some shoulders to the ribs before
Swagger comes back in with knees to the midsection as well. Jack
launches Cesaro into a splash in the corner and Antonio follows up
with rights and lefts to the ribs as we take a break. Back with
Jimmy in the Cesaro Swing which still gets a nice reaction, months
after it was at its peak. Jimmy fights off the dizziness and kicks
the Real Americans in the face and stomach, finally allowing the hot
tag to Jey. The running Umaga attack gets two on Jack and a Samoan
drop gets the same.
Cesaro
is knocked to the floor but Jey gets caught in the Patriot Lock.
Jimmy superkicks Swagger for the save before chasing Antonio to the
floor. Cesaro hides behind Colter's wheelchair before missing a
charge into the barricade. Jimmy shoves the wheelchair into Cesaro
for a big crash as Jey hits an electric chair drop on Swagger. Jey
drops the Superfly Splash for the pin at 9:16.
Rating:
C. The idea was fine here with
the Real Americans working on the injuries but we've seen these teams
fight so many times now that it's hard to care anymore. Colter is so
good on the mic but he needs someone better than these two losers to
get anywhere. Swagger is in such desperate need of repackaging it's
unreal.
Here's
Punk for the big call out to end the show. Punk says he's out here
because he's not a coward like the Authority. He doesn't need an
army of people to fight his battles for him, but maybe he's insane.
Yeah he might get slaughtered by Shield and the Outlaws so why not
also call out the In Laws, the Ultimate Warrior, the Dingo Warrior
and the Road Warriors?
The
thing is, people listen to him when he talks and that's real power.
Punk talks about HHH abusing his power to satisfy his own agenda
while hiding behind his wife. Shield's music cuts Punk off before he
can get too far into that though, which is a nice touch if it was
intentional. The Outlaws come out before Shield can get to the ring
and Punk is surrounded.
Punk
holds up the microphone as his weapon but Kane's pyro goes off and he
orders everyone to stand down. He gets in the ring and says the
Authority doesn't want it this way. Punk's anger is displaced and
his paranoia is getting the better of him. The Authority wants Punk
to main event Wrestlemania, which is why they entered him in the
Rumble.
In
fact, Kane's new top directive is to treat Punk with the respect that
he deserves. Punk looks confused as Kane leaves so he asks if he has
Kane's word. Kane nods but Punk doesn't buy it because Kane is a
seven foot suck up. Kane says get him before catching a distracted
Punk in a chokeslam to end the show.
Overall
Rating: C-. This is another
show that didn't need to exist. The wrestling wasn't bad, the promos
weren't bad and the ending advanced very little, but the show isn't
actively bad. That's the best way to describe Smackdown as a whole:
not much happens, but it's better than having your face carved up
with a branding iron. In a way though that's the worst kind of show
as it's not bad enough to make fun of but it's not good enough to be
worth seeing either. In a word, Smackdown exists and that's all
there is to say about it.
Results
New
Age Outlaws b. Cody Rhodes/Goldust – Rollup to Rhodes
Rey
Mysterio b. Alberto Del Rio – Rollup
Naomi
b. Tamina Snuka – Split legged moonsault
Big
E. Langston b. Fandango – Big Ending
Usos
b. Real Americans – Superfly Splash to Swagger
Remember to check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com and head over to my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:
http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6
Wow IRS sounds like a terrible dad.
ReplyDeleteIt was all that time spent at sea as captain of a boat.
ReplyDeleteAnd when he got back to sure he became an asshole tax collector. Bray really did have a shit childhood.
ReplyDeletePoor Bray kept getting the abdominal stretch when he didn't do his homework.
ReplyDeleteHe went to school at the same school Beth Phoenix is getting her JD. That's not relevant to anything beyond me wanting to have sex with Beth Phoenix.
ReplyDeleteso let me understand this......Alberto Del Rio beat Rey on Monday.....only to lose to him on Smackdown??? The purpose of this is what exactly?
ReplyDeleteThe "29 other men" thing always bothered me about the rumble. If you draw number 18 there is a great chance that you won't have to go through 29 people to win cause at least 5 will already be gone. File this one under "crap that only bothers Devin Harris"
...Sister Abigail is Norman the Lunatic, isn't it?
ReplyDelete:: Pity comment ::
ReplyDeleteGood ol' 50/50 booking.
ReplyDeleteNaw, stuff like that bothers me too. It drives me nuts when Cole says, "each participant in the Elimination Chamber has a one-in-six chance of winning!" Dude, it's not a lottery where they draw some guy's number and he's the winner.
But in kayfabe terms, you don't know what number you are going to draw in the lead up to the Rumble, so saying that you have to beat 29 guys isn't that much of a stretch.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe they didn't do any type of Wyatt-IRS interaction on RAW as a wink to the smarks.
ReplyDeleteAm I reading too much into it or was there quite a bit of Undertaker-ish imagery in Bray's soliloquy?
ReplyDeleteMaybe they thought it was just a bit too out of place with Bray's character. IRS telling Bray to pay his taxes would probably have ended badly.
ReplyDeleteI think he gave up when he had to hear David Crockett butcher it all the time.
ReplyDeleteI got the same vibe. He started talking about creatures and reapers and was just one step removed from the old "creatures of the night" talk of the Undertaker during the 1990s.
ReplyDeleteThat rumble thing is going to lead me to an early grave. There are a zillion other things they can say to make that same point.
ReplyDeleteSmackdown is just sad now. You are correct in saying there are no stakes. You can lose, quit, or get out of prison and your standing on the card would be no different than a guy that's won 200 matches in a row. They don't even try.
Norman smiley?
ReplyDeleteThey do it with the tag team turmoil things also. Only one team will have to go through X number of teams. All the other teams have to defeat X-1 minus 1
ReplyDeleteThe Rumble thing only bugs me when the person wins and then they say he beat 29 other men, when theoretically, he probably only beat like 5.
ReplyDeleteI think the most popular winner has come from number 27. If you draw that number you damn sure didn't beat 29 other guys. Though it would be kind of weird/cool if everyone stayed in their until the last man entered.
ReplyDeleteYou want a match worst than 09?
ReplyDeleteI SO wish they would bring Scott Steiner back so he could cut a promo to explain how he has a better mathematical chance of winning The Royal Rumble than anyone else, because he's a genetic freak!
ReplyDeleteHe was too busy taking money.
ReplyDeleteStop being pedantic
ReplyDeletestop fucking being pedantic
ReplyDeletewell thank christ officerfarva and his butt buddy jobber123 havent posted in this thread yet, thereby shitting all over it. although devin harris did a pretty good job of that
ReplyDelete"That's the best way to describe Smackdown as a whole: not much happens, but it's better than having your face carved up with a branding iron."
ReplyDeletedont quit your day job, which i assume is "a custodian"
You and me both
ReplyDeleteI don't know what pedantic means. I'm black you see and we aren't very good with the words.
ReplyDeleteNo kidding
ReplyDeleteA tag team of Savage & The Body sounds pretty damn sweet
ReplyDeleteNo, it's Bo Dallas.
ReplyDeleteInstead of going through 29, you have go through 24. Really, no difference, you're still having to go through the majority of the field.
ReplyDelete