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The SmarK Rant for WWE NXT–01.29.14

The SmarK Rant for WWE NXT – 01.29.14

First rant on my new (for me) Vaio! I hope you’re as excited as I am.

Taped from Orlando, FL

Your hosts are Alex Riley, Tom Phillips & William Regal

The Ascension v. Two Jobbers

The geeks in question have such ridiculous names that they don’t even get a ring intro and the announcers only mention them in passing. Something “Ikareno” and “Culari” or whatever. Much more interesting is that the Ascension are already the longest reigning NXT tag champions EVER, at 120 days. They finish one of the poor doofuses at 2:15 with the Fall of Man.

Meanwhile, Sylvester Lefort auditions new guys, but turns down the first one due to cauliflower ear. I don’t blame him, that’s just gross.

Corey Graves returns from purgatory, having recovered from a concussion, and he’s still harboring a grudge against Adrian Neville. Apparently we should stay tuned. Okey doke.

Corey Graves v. Camacho

So with Fake Sin Cara off to the big show again, Haku Jr is on his own in NXT again. Graves holds a headlock but gets chased out of the ring. He clips the leg, however, and finishes with the Lucky 13 leglock at 1:15. The skinny jeans really ruin the badass image for me. ½*

Meanwhile, Antonio Cesaro is tired of hearing about Sami Zayn and really the interviewer is beneath him anyway.

Meanwhile, the auditions continue with creepy Sawyer Ford. Not going well for Lefort thus far.

Bayley v. Sasha Banks

I’m assuming that Summer Rae getting called up to Total Divas will write her out of the NXT storyline once and for all. Bayley goes after Charlotte at ringside, allowing Sasha the chance to attack and take over. Renee Young, awesome on commentary: “I don’t know if any of you guys have had a girlfriend…probably not…but they remember things!” Sasha holds a straightjacket hold on Bayley, but Bayley makes the comeback with clotheslines and a back elbow. The other girls brawl at ringside, and Sasha gets two on a rollup, only to see the HUGPLEX finish at 2:52. So the Bayley path of rage continues! *1/2

Colin Cassady v. Tyler Breeze

Weird dynamic here because the crowd really loves both guys, so it’ll be an interesting challenge for Breeze to get people to boo him. But man, his Blue Steel look at the hard camera just kills me. Generous stalling from Breeze to start, prompting a SELFIE BATTLE and potential walk-off. Hopefully Breeze can turn left. And finally we start, allowing an irate Breeze to attack in the corner. And Cassady punches him IN THE FACE for two. That won’t end well for him. Colin continues with a new deal where he does the “SAWFT” chant and then hits Breeze with a forearm for two. I like that one. Big boot gets two, but Aiden English pops up on the screen, threatening violence to Enzo, like he’s a helpless damsel in distress or Zack Ryder. This allows Breeze to hit the Beauty Shot for the pin at 2:38. Wish they wouldn’t do that kind of Sportz Entertainment finish on this show. *1/2

Meanwhile, Colin checks on Enzo, who was apparently threatened with violence by English. Although nothing actually happened to him. Hmm.

The Miz v. CJ Parker

Miz throws chops and slugs away in the corner, then puts him on the floor with a dropkick and baseball slide to follow. Back in with a sunset flip for two, but he can’t get the figure-four and Parker gets a high kick for two. Running knees get two. Miz comes back with a neckbreaker for two and goes to work on the leg, but Parker keeps fighting him off. CJ to the top with a flying bodypress, but Miz rolls through and finishes him with the figure four at 4:30. **

Meanwhile, Mason Ryan agrees to join the Lefort team…if Sylvester can beat him next week.

Bo Dallas v. Danny Burch

Adrian Neville signs his half of the championship contract, but Bo apparently wants to show his stuff first. So Dallas proceeds to squashing Burch as Regal notes that Bo has held his title longer than any title he himself held. I don’t think that’s true – he held the TV title for a LONG time in 93. Anyway, Dallas finishes with a butterfly suplex at 2:30, signs the contract, and then attacks Neville from behind, leading to a brawl to end the show.

The Pulse

Felt a little angle-heavy this week, especially with a pair of distraction finishes and a MAIN EVENT CONTRACT SIGNING. Still the best show on TV, though. Until next time, don’t forget to check out the Place To Be Podcast #289, starring ME!


  1. No RAW Rant this week?

  2. Sawyer Ford? Whomever named him must've been a Lost fan

  3. Stranger in the AlpsJanuary 29, 2014 at 10:52 PM

    Haven't we as a blog collective ranted on that particular RAW enough?

  4. But I don't know what to think unless Scott tells me what to think.

  5. davidbonzaisaldanamontgomeryJanuary 29, 2014 at 10:55 PM

    I gotta say, I'm becoming a big fan of Renee Young, she's doing as good a job as an interviewer/announcer as any female personality they've tried the last ten years or so. She has a personality and a wit to her and hope we see more of her on the big show. By that, I mean RAW, not Big Show.

  6. Stranger in the AlpsJanuary 29, 2014 at 11:21 PM

    Scott is telling you to make him rich by jacking up his page hits.

  7. I agree, I've been impressed with her. Too often, female interviewers in wrestling are only there for their looks...Renee is not only good looking, but like you said, she's got a good personality, she's pretty quick on her feet in an interview, etc.

  8. I'm not complaining mind you, but what's the deal with Cesaro? Lots of main roster guys seem to pop in for one show here or there (like Miz this week), Cesaro seems to be there more than half the actual NXT guys. He's not being buried on the main show or anything so I'm fine with more Cesaro (and we've gotten some awesome matches out of it), just seems weird to me that he's practically a regular on NXT despite being a legit midcard guy on Raw (as opposed to the jobber types who will occasionally go back and forth between NXT and Raw).

  9. The Miz vs. CJ Parker?

    That's like The Battle of the Guys Fans Will Never Accept As Babyfaces For Any Reason

  10. Your_Favourite_LoserJanuary 30, 2014 at 12:03 AM

    i... don't understand

    this post had nothing to do with dbry or punk...

  11. Shes a friend of Gabriel Morency, so yeah, she has talent.

  12. just now becoming a fan? where have you been?

  13. it probably has something to do with the fact that he cares about his craft. He wants to get more "reps" in, and probably enjoys passing his knowledge on to younger talent. there's no better way to bring them along than actually getting in the ring with them. Lord knows he can work arguably better than anyone in the game right now when allotted the opportunity.

  14. davidbonzaisaldanamontgomeryJanuary 30, 2014 at 1:09 AM

    I recently got Hulu+, so I just started to get into NXT finally, and I haven't been watching RAW all that much, so I'm still a Renee neophyte. But I'm impressed, she looks and sounds like she belongs, and not another dead-eyed model who gets stage freight when handed a mic.

  15. davidbonzaisaldanamontgomeryJanuary 30, 2014 at 1:13 AM

    I'm blanking on what was said, but I remember watching the Rumble and she was doing an interview, and there was a way she herded a response into her next question that made it feel like she was conducting an interview and not just droning out her next line, it had a touch of a je ne seis Mean Gene. Much better than, say, Maria "RANDY...WHAT ARE...YOUR....THOUGHTS...HEADING.....INTO THE.....ELIMINATION......................................CHAMBER?" Kanellis.

  16. davidbonzaisaldanamontgomeryJanuary 30, 2014 at 1:14 AM

    He'll get more if he posts a rant. If not, I'm taking my ball and going home. Even as I'm typing this from home.

  17. davidbonzaisaldanamontgomeryJanuary 30, 2014 at 1:15 AM

    He wants you to think that TAKER/FOLEY HIAC GETS ONE STAR AND LIKES IT!

  18. You have to read it backwards for the secret message.

  19. Colin Cassady surprises me eveytime I see him. Really think he has that it factor, loss of confidence, very quick witted, and seems to have many hidden talents. Future WWE main eventer in the making.

  20. She hosted a wrestling-themed PTI-type show that came on after RAW on The Score (the network that broadcasts Raw and SD in Canada, now called SportsNet 360) for a couple of years before getting hired by WWE, and she had other TV experience before that, so I'm not surprised she's doing well on NXT/WWE.

  21. I don't know that this is a complement.

  22. I would think the hits that your reviews bring in would have set him for li... man I couldn't even get through that!

  23. I was really hoping "Two Jobbers" was their kayfabe team name.

  24. Stranger in the AlpsJanuary 30, 2014 at 8:17 AM

    Keep going, and I will create you a profile, my friend.

  25. Cass and English would be a good feud for RAW.


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