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The SmarK Rant for WWE Royal Rumble 2011

The SmarK Rant for WWE Royal Rumble 2011

I’ve had requests for a Royal Rumble Kindle book, but this is the one show I’m missing. So here it is! I wasn’t even watching the product at the time, so this is basically all new to me aside from knowing who the winner was. My exposure was limited to WWE sending me DVDs to review, and otherwise I was exclusively watching Classics on Demand for my fix. I barely even remember who the champions were or what the issues were, so I’m kind of looking forward to going in blind!

Live from Boston, MA

Your hosts are Michael Cole, Matt Striker and Jerry Lawler.

World Heavyweight title: Edge v. Dolph Ziggler

The spear is BANNED tonight during one of Vickie Guerrero’s reigns as Smackdown GM. Given the way Edge’s neck turned out, he probably should have heeded that warning. Dolph is noticeably more ripped here than he has been in recent times. Not that I’m accusing anyone of anything. Dolph slugs him down to start, but gets whipped into the corner and kneed for two. Edge with a gutbuster for two. Knee to the gut gets two. To the floor, but Dolph catches him with a cheapshot on the way back in to take over, and gets two. To the chinlock, but Edge fights out, so Dolph gets a sunset flip for two, reversed by Edge into a catapult for two. Ziggler puts him down with a neckbreaker for two. Back to the chinlock, as Dolph channels his inner Randy Orton and grinds on that for a while, but they collide on a bodypress attempt and everyone is out. Dolph recovers first and misses the blind charge, but Edge isn’t allowed to spear him. He hits a flapjack instead and makes the comeback, with a bulldog for two. Ziggler counters the Downward Spiral with something like a Franchiser, and that gets two. Edge counters the fameasser with a powerbomb for two as Striker is already getting on my nerves with his melodramatic clich├ęd commentary. They fight to the top and Edge fights out of a superplex, but Dolph rolls through a bodypress for two. Ziggler with a dropkick for two as the crowd starts to get on his side. Edge takes him down with his Edgecution submission, but Dolph makes the ropes. Edge charges and clotheslines himself, and Dolph hits the fameasser for two. The crowd is really buying into the near-falls here. Edge puts him down with a big boot and sets him up for a spear, but Ziggler catches him with the sleeper. Edge turns it into the Impaler DDT for two, but Vickie makes the save. Edge rolls Dolph up for two, but Kelly Kelly beats up Vickie to get rid of her, while Dolph hits the Zig Zag for two and freaks out the crowd. Another try at the sleeper, which Striker completely mis-explains. The sleeper doesn’t cut off oxygen, it cuts off blood via the carotid artery. A choke cuts off oxygen. Unless he meant that it cuts of blood to the brain, which carries oxygen, but really he doesn’t deserve the benefit of the doubt. Edge escapes and bumps the referee, and with everyone unconscious he takes the opportunity to use the spear, which has Heel Michael Cole aghast. Edge finishes with an Unprettier as a shout-out to Christian at 20:44 to retain. Turned into a hell of a match to hook the crowd and keep everyone on the edge of their seats, pardon the pun. **** Dolph would soon end up with the belt in the most backhanded way possible.

WWE title: The Miz v. Randy Orton

Oh yeah, Miz used to be WWE champion. I seriously forgot about that. I will say, at least Miz as champion had confidence and swagger that is totally missing today. Like, a totally different person now. That being said, he was treated like a fluke champion and, dare I say, a B+ player next to the likes of Randy Orton and John Cena. Orton beats him down in various corners of the ring, but Miz’s lapdog Alex Riley gets a cheapshot from the outside and allows Miz to take over. Miz with the corner clothesline for two. We hit the chinlock, and Miz puts him down with a knee for two. Miz boots him down for two. Elbow gets two. We get a horrendously dull heat segment on Orton with Cole openly cheering for the Miz, but Orton fights back with a superplex for two. They slug it out and Orton tries the draping DDT, but gets backdropped to the floor as a result. Back in, Miz with a double axehandle for two. He goes to a chinlock as this thing drags on, due to Miz having no idea how to build to a climax in this kind of environment. Back to the floor, where he catapults Orton into the post, but he recovers at 8 and makes the comeback. So yeah, more clotheslines and the Garvin Stomp (which thank god he’s retired now) for two. A-Ry gets involved yet again and Miz gets a neckbreaker for two. Orton with an Angle Slam for two to escape the Finale. Miz grabs the belt and takes a walk, but Orton cuts him off, only for Miz to get a DDT for two. Orton rolls him up for two and follows with the draping DDT, but now the Nexus comes out and distracts Orton. Randy gets rid of Riley by tossing him onto the Nexus losers, but CM Punk runs in and hits Orton with a GTS and puts Miz on top at 19:53. That was WAY too long for that stupid TV finish. **1/2 Miz was like a lost sheep out there, struggling to stretch the match out to 20 minutes with his 5 minute offense. And they STILL put this guy out there to die in the main event of Wrestlemania! No wonder that show sucked ass.

Divas title: Natalya v. LayCool

The anonymous RAW GM buzzes in before the match and adds Eve Torres for some reason.

Divas title: Natalya v. Layla v. Michelle McCool v. Eve Torres

This earth-shattering announcement gets no reaction from the crowd, since Eve had not yet developed a personality. LayCool gets rid of Eve and Natalya fights them off alone, but the heels are left to face each other. It’s like a really shitty Royal Rumble! The babyfaces chase off LayCool, but Natalya gets a bizarre double Sharpshooter on Eve and Layla. I have no idea who that was supposed to hurt. Nattie fights off Laycool , but Eve dumps Natalya and moonsaults Layla for the pin at 5:13 to win the title. ½*

Meanwhile, a clean-shaven Daniel Bryan and girlfriend Gail Kim (WTF was that about?) offer comments on the Rumble, but the Bella Twins interrupt with apologies for their previous shenanigans. That ends up very badly for everyone.

Royal Rumble:

This was the one year they tried 40 men, due to all the Nexus and Corre guys needing spots. CM Punk draws #1, and we suddenly get a giant Nexus v. Corre brawl until the anonymous RAW GM breaks it up with an e-mail. And then the #2 guy is Daniel Bryan. So that’s an awesome way to start. We get some teased eliminations as the crowd is heavily torn between these two internet geeks that no one cares about. Bryan misses a charge and Justin Gabriel is #3. He attacks Punk and quickly tries the 450, but it misses and Bryan dumps him at 2:35. Bryan goes back to beating on Punk as Zack Ryder is #4, long before he meant anything on TV. Broski boot on Punk and the Roughrider, but Bryan dumps him at 3:57. Sign at ringside: “Jobber Exit This Way” Now there’s some quality snark. William Regal is #5 and he wants to beat on everyone. I approve. He suplexes both guys around and knees Punk down, then has an awesome forearm battle with Bryan. And then everyone trades stiff kicks until only Bryan remains. Ted Dibiase is #6 and he’s throwing dropkicks! Bryan tries to get him out, and John Morrison is #7. He runs wild and hits Bryan with a C-4, but Dibiase dumps him…and he lands on the railing and hangs on! He jumps to the stairs (itself an amazing spot) and stays in. Why do they not throw money at this guy and bring him back? Yoshi Tatsu is #8 because, you know, 40 men. Regal gets eliminated at some point during the JoMo parkour show, call it 10:00. Husky Harris is #9 and he’s running interference for Punk, and he’s definitely in better shape these days. Chavo Guerrero is #10 as more filler, and hits the Three Amigos on Dibiase, Punk, Morrison and finally Bryan. Harris lays him out to end that run.

Mark Henry is #11 and splits wigs, dumping Chavo at 15:21 and Tatsu at 15:49. JTG is #12 because 40 men. Husky beats on Bryan, who promptly quits and joins the Harris family rather than fight on. No, wait, that’s not right, that would be fucking stupid. Michael McGuillicutty is #13, and he’s also Team Punk for those like myself who can’t keep track without a scorecard. He dropkicks JTG out at 18:10, and there’s a real accomplishment for your resume. The Nexus geeks backdrop Dibiase out at 19:08, and Chris Masters is #14. There’s another guy they need to get back again. Masterlock on Punk looks to put him out, but Perfect Jr. makes the save. David Otunga is #15, and Bryan gets dumped at 21:16, followed by Masters at 21:23, Morrison at 21:40, and Mark Henry at 22:05 to finish clearing the ring. Tyler Reks is #16 and he’s pretty much fucked given it’s the Nexus all alone in there. And they swarm Reks and toss him at 23:07. Vlad Koslov is #17 and he gives it a go, but as a comedy guy he gets nowhere and the Nexus destroys him at 24:35. R-Truth is #18 but he’s not high level enough and also gets mauled and thrown out with suitable snark by Punk at 26:30. I think we can all see the payoff for this gag coming. Great Khali is #19 and he manages to fight them off and toss Harris at 27:48. Mason Ryan replaces him as the Nexus guy at #20, however, and dumps Khali at 28:40 to leave it all Nexus, all the time.

John Cena has to be coming soon here to clear the heels out, especially with all the dead space of the Nexus waiting for their next victims. Booker T makes is surprise return at #21, however, and the crowd goes insane. Striker is marking out, bro. SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY. Booker manages to hold his own and gives us a Spinarooni, at which point Punk blindsides him and Ryan tosses him at 31:15. Punk is feeling confident about his chances at this point, and HERE’S John Cena to pay this off. OK, finally. Great Khali was one too many. And yes, Cena kicks the shit out of them and rids us of Otunga, Ryan and McGillicutty at 33:00 at one time. Punk is alone and tries a GTS, but Cena clotheslines him down and both guys are out. Hornswoggle is #23, pulling double duty after two anonymous GM e-mails, and I’m not liking his chances here. An irritated Punk kicks him down and goes after Cena, but gets FU’d to the floor at 35:40 to end his night. Cena makes peace with the midget and Tyson Kidd is #24. Hornswoggle takes him down with a flying headscissors in a physics-defying move, and then hits his own FU to allow Cena to finish him off at 37:23. Geez, poor Kidd. Heath Slater is #25 and he too is no match for MIDGET MADNESS, as he takes a 10 Knuckle Shuffle and frog splash before going goodbye at 39:08. Kofi Kingston is #26 to hopefully end the alleged comedy, and they’re STARING AT THE SIGN to really hammer home how serious this is. So Kofi controls with a dropkick and hammers away in the corner, but Jack Swagger is #27. He takes out both babyfaces, but stops to yell at Hornswoggle and gets Boomdropped as a result. This midget stuff is really killing the flow of the match. King Sheamus is #28 in his heel bully phase, and he beats up Hornswoggle to prove that. And thankfully boots him out at 44:11. Rey Mysterio is #29 as thankfully things can get serious again, and he runs wild on everyone until Sheamus cuts him off. Swagger gets eliminated via 619 at 45:59, and I’ve got some good news: Wade Barrett is #30. The bad news: There’s still 10 more guys to come.

So he runs wild and hits Cena with the bossman slam, but Kofi throws kicks in the corner as Dolph Ziggler is #31 and everyone gangs up on Cena with no success. Diesel is #32 for the mega-pop of the night, with freshly dyed hair. I know it can’t happen for a variety of reasons, but can you imagine the reaction Scott Hall would get coming out for a Rumble spot as Razor Ramon one last time? Nash beats on a variety of guys, but Drew McIntyre is #33 as the crowd is unabashedly cheering for Diesel. DO YOU SEE WHAT THIS CROWD DID?! If you want to point fingers for the way the Summer of Punk went, look no further than this crowd. THANKS A LOT, JERKS. Alex Riley is #34 as Barrett boots Diesel out at 52:44, and everyone starts ignoring the match while Cole sucks up to the Miz at the commentary desk. Big Show is #35 and we get a Show-Diesel staredown that thankfully went nowhere. Show chokeslams some people and tosses Ziggler at 55:09, and then Drew at 55:28. Big Zeke is #36 and he immediately throws Big Show out a 56:00. He’s still under contract, by the way. Just sitting at home doing nothing. Speaking of sitting at home doing nothing, Santino is #37 and foolishly goes after Jackson, resulting in him getting knocked out of the ring under the bottom rope. Alberto Del Rio is #38 and Riley gets eliminated off-screen. Del Rio’s entrance is so long that Randy Orton is #39 before he even makes it to the ring, and Orton lays out Del Rio on the floor. In the ring, RKO for Del Rio, RKO for Sheamus, RKO for Kofi and out at 61:00, Sheamus out at 61:06. And then Cena and Orton have the biggest Wrestlemania Moment Epic Fail in history, as they point to the sign and the crowd shits all over it. Awesome. And Kane is #40 to close out the bloated field.

Kane takes out Orton and dumps Jackson at 62:53, but Rey catches him in a headscissors and dumps him at 63:51, only to get tossed out by Barrett at 64:00. The final four: Cena, Barrett, Orton and Del Rio. Barrett gets Cena to the apron but can’t close the deal, and again we get the stupid Cena v. Orton tease. Barrett breaks it up with a suplex on Orton, and Cena hits Del Rio with an FU. This brings Miz into the ring to dump Cena at 66:54, setting up their epic Wrestlemania fail. So Orton is alone against Barrett and Del Rio, and he manages to hold his own. He bumps Wade at 68:56, but Del Rio dumps him right back at 69:00 to win the thing. However, TWIST ENDING, as Santino is still alive under the ring, and he loads up the Cobra, but also can’t close and gets eliminated for real at 70:17 to give Del Rio the win and MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA. By which I mean the opening match where he did the job while the crowd was still coming in. This had its moments, but the whole Nexus segment was way too long, and the Cena-midget comedy segment that followed was also too long, basically filling up the extra time with unneeded bloat where a 30 man Rumble would have served the purpose much better. Still, it’s a Rumble, it’s generally pretty good even with the flaws of this year. ***1/4

The Pulse

Four matches, two were pretty good, two not at all, but that’s a good enough ratio for a recommendation. I literally couldn’t have told you any of the matches aside from the Rumble, though, which shows how forgettable this whole period was. And everyone forgot to buy Wrestlemania as a result.

Thumbs mildly up.

Comments

  1. I kept waiting to read about the Michael Cole Rumble entry, but quickly realized that it was the next year... which brought me to the sad realization that we all had to endure more than a FULL CALENDAR YEAR of Michael Cole's obnoxious heel act. This company knew just how to troll their fanbase.

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  2. I was surprised at how good Ziggler/Edge was. I was someone who thought Edge wasn't all that great in the ring since his title reign ended in 2006 but he and Ziggler brought the goods here.

    It makes Dolph's current situation all the more perplexing. Look through all the times they gave him a "big match". Here against Edge, throw out star ratings, but the crowd is on fire and into it. They were having fun watching that. Look at Dolph's match with Punk on Raw and again at the Rumble. The fans were into it and they delivered before booking kicked in. TLC 2012 against Cena. Crowd is going nuts. His cash in on Del Rio and their match at whatever PPV they wrestled at.

    Every big match they've given Dolph he has delivered. Not just with star ratings, but crowd heat and enjoyment. That makes it all the more confusing that's he's Zack Ryder.

    I'd also love to see John Morrison return. He was killing it during his time on Smackdown in 2009 and by the time 2011 rolled around he did not look out of place in the main event. I don't know if Scott reviewed TLC 2010 but JoMo and Sheamus have an awesome, old school ladder match that reminded me a lot of Shawn-Razor in terms of the participants and their styles. The match is great too. One of the best singles ladder matches.

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  3. Amsterdam_Adam_CurryJanuary 13, 2014 at 12:55 AM

    That match fucking blows. Easily Shawn's worst match, or at least the worst one I've ever seen.

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  4. "And then Cena and Orton have the biggest Wrestlemania Moment Epic Fail in history, as they point to the sign and the crowd shits all over it."


    Well, thank God they didn't end up feuding those two again.


    Wait... shit...

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  5. The 2012 Royal Rumble match is one of my favorites. The booking really worked for me. Even the comedy stuff with Santino, Foley, and the announcers worked. Plus, Jericho and Sheamus going at it at the end was a great ending.

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  6. Amsterdam_Adam_CurryJanuary 13, 2014 at 12:58 AM

    "There have been matches just as bad but those had the decency to end in under 20 minutes."


    Sometimes even 20 is too much, look at HHH/Steiner or Sabu/Sandman. Though both of those are in the "so bad it's great" category for me.

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  7. Maybe with Batista back, he will want one of his favorite road whores brought back....

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  8. Id have preferred Orton/Cena at Mania rather than the Miz/Cena/Rock mess we wound up with...

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  9. RE: Ziggler


    Apparently, all of that amounts to dick if you talk any kind of shit about the beloved Bella Twins or the cash cow that is Total Divas.

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  10. Amsterdam_Adam_CurryJanuary 13, 2014 at 1:03 AM

    The first LMS match (at least in WWF/E, NWA/WCW and other companies have been doing them forever) was 15 years ago? Fuck, that makes me feel old.

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  11. What did he even say about Total Divas? I was tuned out at that point.

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  12. Amsterdam_Adam_CurryJanuary 13, 2014 at 1:08 AM

    It kind of does. It always bothers me that people kick out of the pins. Why? Fuck that, let him pin you and then get up at 9. Conserve your energy in a long match where ever you can.

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  13. Amsterdam_Adam_CurryJanuary 13, 2014 at 1:14 AM

    There's a whole ton of gimmick matches I'd never like to see again. Bullrope/strap/chain (only if it's touch all 4 corners, if it's pinfall rules I'm fine with them), I quit, casket/stretcher/ambulance, ironman, anything on a pole, and any match that doesn't take place in an actual ring. They can all piss off.

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  14. I liked how it only took Scott minutes into the opening match to bury Matt Striker. It was nice unintentional foreshadowing of what was to come in the Rumble. Of which basically cost Striker his announcing gig.

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  15. Amsterdam_Adam_CurryJanuary 13, 2014 at 1:18 AM

    The first HITC is my favorite match ever, which is weird when you consider that I hate one of the people in it.

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  16. For anyone who doubts WWE's commitment to Bryan, his on-screen character has boned for divas than John Cena's character. Think about that for a second.

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  17. Amsterdam_Adam_CurryJanuary 13, 2014 at 1:24 AM

    I always though HBK/Y2J was great, like ****1/2. Though I'm a huge mark for both guys.

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  18. GAMEJACK!~

    The first 30 respondants to this post will be entered in the First Annual Zanatude Royal Rumble Invitational. I will draw random numbers for each respondant, which will correspond to the number of the entrant in the Royal Rumble, who will be your avatar in the match.

    The winner will receive...uh, something. Maybe. We'll see.

    Will only do this if 30 people respond.

    And...go!

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  19. Amsterdam_Adam_CurryJanuary 13, 2014 at 1:35 AM

    Here's how I feel about it: if Kane just became another Yankem/fake Diesel, I would knock 1/4* too. But considering that Kane is still in WWE 17 years later, I think we can give it a pass.

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  20. Amsterdam_Adam_CurryJanuary 13, 2014 at 1:38 AM

    I can't see myself ever watching that again, it's almost more of a snuff flick than a match.

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  21. Guessing it wont be a true BOD Royal Rumble if MR. TOP 16 himself isnt entered....

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  22. When Cena bones em, they wind up out of a job....

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  23. Okay, I'll bite. I'm also guessing it won't be a true BOD Royal Rumble if Mr. Top Whatever My Rank Is isn't entered...

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  24. It would still be a true BOD Royal Rumble if I didn't enter.


    But I will all the same.

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  25. Really, if you think about it, everything significant in the past 2 years has been the fallout of this Rumble match. Punk and Bryan spend the first portion tearing the house down and getting loud dueling chants, but Cena/Orton gets a crowd of crickets with their hands in their pockets? And then Punk and Bryan both get huge outside of our control? Fuck it, we're going to contrive a way to do Cena/Orton no matter how long it takes!

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  26. Yesterday I re-watched the Chamber match that Morrison was in from the February 2011 PPV. He was one of the first two guys in and lasted until the very end. He was involved in several of the big spots in the match, got to eliminate Sheamus, and really came off like a star. Unfortunately, the whole thing with snubbing Trish happened at Mania a month later, which in hindsight was terrible, terrible timing.

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  27. The first HIAC holds up fantastic for me. I don't think I'll ever tire of watching it. Michaels' bumping and the story the match tells of HBK finally having nowhere to run and having to use his smarts to try to survive were great.

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  28. I like to be included in things!

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  29. Really hoping I get Zack Ryder.

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  30. Morrison should have won this thing. Miz/Morrison for the WWE title with Cena/Taker on top main eventing. Much better show.

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  31. I dunno - he showed against Austin that he could have a fantastic brawl if need be, and I think his heelish offense during the end of his time in WWE would have held up perfectly fine in the Attitude Era. Granted, he just didn't want to be there for that, so it's moot anyway, but I think he could have made it work had he wanted to.

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  32. HBK/Jarrett doesn't hold up?!?! You're fucking insane.

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  33. Dean Malenko was like that for me. Objectively, I could look at a him as a talented worker, but he always bored me to tears.

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  34. Orton actually hasn't retired the Garvin stomp. He used it against Big E on Smackdown!

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  35. Agreed, though I think HHH/Jericho from Fully Loaded '00 is a notable exception.

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  36. But then we would've been denied Triple H-Undertaker II!

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  37. Sadly, I have to agree.

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  38. But what's the point?

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  39. That ladder match is probably the best match that I've seen the WWE do in the last couple of years. It was ****+. Unfortunately, Morrison just faced the Miz on RAW in a falls count anywhere match and jobbed clean.

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  40. Melina really screwed over Morrison's career. It was like a modern day Sunny-Chris Candido situation.

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  41. Which is so stupid on a variety of levels because it's not like people aren't going to watch the show based on Ziggler not liking it.

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  42. Heel Cole caused me to just quit watching for about 2 years.

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  43. I wasn't really paying attention to WWE during this period. What happened with Trish that hurt Morrison's career?

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  44. I am announcing that I will be one of the 30 men participating in the Zanatude Royal Rumble Invitational.

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  45. Morrison from November 2010-the Trish snubbing was awesome and booked pretty well. The only thing I'd change is doing him vs. Miz at the Rumble instead of a throwaway on Raw.

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  46. They were in a 6 person tag at WM. Word is that Melina thought she should be in the match with Morrison and Snooki instead of Trish. During the post match celebration, Morrison pretty obviously snubbed Trish when she tried to celebrate their win. He avoids her and it didn't immediately go down hill but soon thereafter his career departed off a cliff.

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  47. A lot of the charm of ECW was in the story telling on the show, because it really subsidized the matches with sub-par workers - of which there were a lot. Even matches with good-to-great workers, IMO, were hurt by the circle jerking, chain wrestle then wait for the fans to cheer moments.

    When you watch ECW matches now, without the benefit of the story behind them, they lose a lot more than a WWF or WCW match of the same era.

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  48. I hath responded to announce my participation in the battle Royal

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  49. Power_of_Hogans_HOF_RingJanuary 13, 2014 at 4:05 AM

    It is with some reluctance, that I announce my (dramatic pause) candidacy, in the 1997 (& Zanatude's) Royal Rumble.

    ReplyDelete
  50. where's Dude Love's "PICK ME STEVE" sign?

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  51. So it was Boston, huh? Thanks, Massholes, for cheering Kevin Nash. Dicks.

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  52. WrestleMania XXVII is one of few WMs to have 1,000,000+ buys. Turns out no one forgot to buy it.

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  53. I'm hungry and I'm gonna forget my manners!!!! I mean, I'm in.

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  54. I guess I was one of the few Cole Miners back then.

    Maybe it's because I feel that Ross jumped the shark back in 2003 with Lawler, but I've always liked him.

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  55. Shouldn't it be the first 40?

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  56. But still, say that your company is big on a future project, and the media happens to ask you about it. What do you do if you're not a fan of it??

    *YOU FRIGGIN LIE!!!!!!!!*

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  57. But that match was barely 1 year after their long loooonnggg feud. 3 more years have passed since. For a lot of new fans, it's a fresh match, as hard as it is to believe.

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  58. the ending also worked pretty great because for a second there truely seemed to be the chance that they would give the win to Santino (of course, until he started to parade around the ring).

    I guess it's because people are (well: were) really buying into Santino's "underdog" act (I guess it has been done too often without any good payoff now). just look at Elimination Chamber 2012 for further proof.

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  59. Yep, and at least it would have been a Face vs Face dynamic this time, so the match could have been slightly different.

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  60. They were cheering for Diesel in an "I love watching him come back and kick ass for a minute in this jobber Rumble" way; not an "I want this guy in a 3 month main event program" way.

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  61. Agree too. Not to mention that at least Orton wouldn't be a third wheel in the whole Cena/Rock angle.

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  62. I always thought Morrisson should of faced Miz at the Rumble and goes to show WWE's creative shortsightedness: They thought that because Orton was a bigger name that beating him would turn Miz into a star, whereas the tv match Miz had with Morrisson, Morrisson managed to turn Miz into a star way more than his match with Orton.

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  63. Yeah, but Rock basically saved the show for them. If it wasn't for The Rock who knows how the show would've went down.

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  64. What did he do to cost him his announcing gig?

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  65. What does that have to do with anything? His point still stands.

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  66. I never understood why when Nash returned during the Summer of Punk angle that he couldn't have kept his Diesel monkier. Diesel was over. Nash was not.

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  67. With my luck, I'll get Xavier Woods

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  68. Yes, but the WWE can't differentiate.

    Sincerely, Hulk Hogan circa 2003

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  69. He was marking out, bro!

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  70. I'll also repeat my quote from that 2011 Rumble thread last week, when Big Show came in.



    Striker: "To put this in perspective, The tallest player in the NHL is Zdeno Chara at 6'9", who plays in this building
    Cole: "WHO CARES??!???"
    Striker: "uh... And Kevin Garnett, 6'11, also plays in this buil....
    Cole: "WWHHOOO CCAARREEESSS??!?!????"

    ReplyDelete
  71. I wonder if anyone in the back ever had a conversation with Striker about not coming off like that big a fan on commentary, maybe toning it down a bit. If he ignored them, then I understand the push back, but if no one ever spoke to him about it, it's not really fair to him.

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  72. I will point at a sign to announce my entrance.

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  73. Porn-Peddling Jef VinsonJanuary 13, 2014 at 6:38 AM

    They had a great chemistry together.

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  74. Honestly, I'd be game for another forty man Rumble. The roster is big enough to support it. This year alone, you could have...


    CM Punk
    Brock Lesnar
    Daniel Bryan
    Batista
    Big Show
    Alberto Del Rio
    Big E. Langston
    Dean Ambrose
    Seth Rollins
    Roman Reigns
    Bray Wyatt
    Erick Rowan
    Luke Harper
    Cody Rhodes
    Goldust
    Antonio Cesaro
    Jack Swagger
    Bad News Barrett
    Rey Mysterio
    Ryback
    Brodus Clay
    Fandango
    Sin Cara
    The Miz
    Kofi Kingston
    R-Truth
    Xavier Woods
    Curtis Axel
    Damien Sandow
    Heath Slater
    Jinder Mahal
    Drew McIntyre
    Jimmy Uso
    Jey Uso
    The Great Khali


    And then fill the last five spots with Legends. Maybe give the spots to Too Cool, Rikishi, and the New Age Outlaws. And there's your 40.


    Although I suppose 30 allows for a better, more focused story for the match. But eh, I'm an unabashed fan of excess.

    ReplyDelete
  75. Porn-Peddling Jef VinsonJanuary 13, 2014 at 6:41 AM

    I don't know. There were some good Japanese matches that have pushed 60 minutes.
    Either the average fan isn't conditioned for it in the US or the wrestler isn't capable of keeping the fans interested that long.

    ReplyDelete
  76. Can't upvote this enough; made me genuinely laugh out loud.

    ReplyDelete
  77. From a pure kayfabe perspective, why wouldn't he roll off those stats? He's playing up that Big Show is the world's largest athlete, much bigger than the big men of "real sports" that regularly play in that building. Makes sense to me.

    ReplyDelete
  78. Plus the ending of Barrett/Orton at Survivor Series...

    "Cena's free!"
    "Cena's fired..." (The "DUMBASS!" is silent)

    ReplyDelete
  79. Porn-Peddling Jef VinsonJanuary 13, 2014 at 6:46 AM

    I actually feel HHH/Foley is has the best storyline.

    ReplyDelete
  80. Porn-Peddling Jef VinsonJanuary 13, 2014 at 6:47 AM

    Stop downvoting me, Bret.

    ReplyDelete
  81. Porn-Peddling Jef VinsonJanuary 13, 2014 at 6:48 AM

    But that goes back to having a good dance partner.

    ReplyDelete
  82. I better get Dolph or Ryder

    ReplyDelete
  83. Lawler's heart attack was in late 2012 and that's essentially when he turned face, so he was still a heel at RR that year.

    ReplyDelete
  84. See, I really enjoyed the Nexus bit and thought it was booked perfectly. It annoys me from time to time that there isn't more of that kind of story in the Rumble because it would make sense for a tag team or a stable to dominate for awhile until the big megastar cleans house. The 40 man Rumble worked great for it too because it let them do that story and you still had another half of a match to go.

    ReplyDelete
  85. I was marking out thinking thet might let Santino win since there was no clear cut favorite in this one. Hoping they'd let him win then make him put the title shot up at EC or Raw since he hid under the ring or whatever. They easily could have later switched it

    ReplyDelete
  86. I kind of agree, but I think he took a bit too long to set it up. I was actually laughing when Cole totally destroyed him.

    ReplyDelete
  87. The Nexus bit is one of the best things they ever did in the Rumble. Perfect way to clean out the dead space,


    And the Khali thing works perfectly when you consider each new entrant is higher up on the totem pole. They even let Khali toss someone to make you think the Nexus run might end, only to make you hate them even more when Mason Ryan comes out. It's really great booking and having Cena come in and clear the ring is the perfect payoff.

    ReplyDelete
  88. His point was if things had remained status quo, no rock return after 7 years away, there's no way it does 1 million

    ReplyDelete
  89. I feel like they did it perfectly. The tease, the possible "feel good moment"... Then the rightful winner won. The Rumble is one of the few things they haven't really devalued yet, so I'm glad Santino didn't win it. (Sure ADR didn't set the world on fire, but he was on a major roll at the time).

    ReplyDelete
  90. I hate they easily could've switched it. Then you're just cheapening the Rumble and making the whole thing pointless.

    ReplyDelete
  91. Completely disagree - he couldn't "outshine" Miz on the mic, but Morrison had a LOT of really good (and even great) matches. His DVD is seriously one of the best match-compilation sets they've ever released.


    (IMO, of course.)

    ReplyDelete
  92. See, I'm of the belief that they should let a midcarder win it 1 year just to reiterate the fact that anyone can win it. This would have been the perfect year. As long as they don't do not very often it still remains protected.

    ReplyDelete
  93. But that's like saying "If Tom Brady didn't get 5 TD passes, then the Patriots would have lost to the Bills". He WAS there, so it's a really bad argument. He was just saying that Scott claimed that nobody bought WM, but people DID buy it. Doesn't matter for who, bottom line, it did 1 mill buys.

    ReplyDelete
  94. I still haven't totally gotten over the one that Vince won, it nearly ruined the entire thing. I mean if they wanna give a solid mid-carder like Kofi, where they could build it as his "one and only big shot", then fine. But a pure comedy wrestler like Santino? Meh...

    ReplyDelete
  95. If they did it 1 year then it doesn't hurt the "prestige" of the rumble. They've protected it really well. I'm not for "switching the title shot" I'm for letting a mid carder win it once just to reiterate it the fact that anyone can

    ReplyDelete
  96. He wasn't there at the time of the rumble. He came back at the go home for EC. I'm sure they were in negotiations but I doubt they every viewed his return as a sure thing until the day he signed his name on the contract

    ReplyDelete
  97. "Speaking of sitting at home doing nothing, Santino is #37 and foolishly goes after Jackson, resulting in him getting knocked out of the ring under the bottom rope."


    To be fair, Santino owns what appears to be a pretty nice looking MMA/wrestling training centre, so he's likely to at least be doing something.

    ReplyDelete
  98. I actually didn't mind the Vince one. It wasn't what i would have booked but Austin/Vince was the hottest thing going, it was driving business, Vince was the #1 heel, and it set up the SVDM match so got their rationale at least. It was the follow up that was stupid. Vince should have put up the title shot vs Austins career at the ppv. Instead he just gave it up on Raw

    ReplyDelete
  99. Does the winner get a match vs Jobber123 for the undisputed top spot for the BoD?

    ReplyDelete
  100. Stranger in the AlpsJanuary 13, 2014 at 7:37 AM

    And......go!

    ReplyDelete
  101. It was posted here a couple of days ago.

    ReplyDelete
  102. Was that the full show one? Then it shouldn't be hard to find.

    ReplyDelete
  103. Michael Cole's commentary totally ruined that match. He's like shitting his pants over a much less impactful chair shot not more than a fucking minute before Rock just starts whaling on Mick...then he undersells the really brutal part.



    But yeah, not really a particularly good match at all, and really, in retrospect, all of the big matches in that feud are really underwhelming. Certainly less awesome than I remember them seeming at the time.

    ReplyDelete
  104. They also no-sold the Cena/Orton standoff twice, so I think it evens out.

    ReplyDelete
  105. When your a kid, all of gimmicks look neat, then the older you get, they don't look as good as you remember them.

    ReplyDelete
  106. I was a kid when ECW was around, and even then it didn't really do it for me. Not that they didn't do some cool shit from time to time, but yeah, the lack of psychology and complete clusterfuck atmosphere just got boring after a while.

    ReplyDelete
  107. WE...THE PEOPLE!

    ReplyDelete
  108. Just looking at his live reaction in the background when Booker's music hits is so embarrassing. I understand his being a huge fanboy 'n all, but there's a time to be a fanboy and a time to be a professional. That was not the former.

    ReplyDelete
  109. Del Rio won... that guy just screams mid card.

    ReplyDelete
  110. Some of that's not his fault, though. Bret could have been absolutely awesome in WCW, but of course the bookers there completely fucked that up.

    ReplyDelete
  111. Having two world titles at the time was a perfect time to let a mid carder win as you wouldn't even need to swap it out...

    .....in other sports, you sometimes have the cinderella story where a low seed comes out of nowhere and makes the finals and its a great story.....

    ... I feel with the right guy, its a fresh enough underdog story that the fans could and would buy into it and you make a guy in the process regardless if he wins or loses....

    ReplyDelete
  112. With Batista playing the role of Shawn Michaels?

    ReplyDelete
  113. Miz & Morrison could have become a true main event tag team.

    ReplyDelete
  114. Hogan came in and put over half the roster, not sure why he still gets hate over that run...

    ...sure he got a nostalgia run with the belt for a month but I think in part it was Vince wanting Hogan to be the final WWF champion and Hogan definitely earned that...

    ReplyDelete
  115. The entire Wrestlemania XIX card has really grown on me and I seem to like it the more and more I view it.

    ReplyDelete
  116. Not at the time. He was undefeated, and he made Rey tap out in his debut match. He really should have won the WHC at Mania, no offense to Edge.

    ReplyDelete
  117. I will gladly be token comedy jobber.

    ReplyDelete
  118. Yeah, Austin winning in 97 and McMahon winning in 99 didn't hurt it.

    ReplyDelete
  119. Nash as leader of the wolfpac says hello. Before the finger poke dude was the most over he has ever been. Lets also not forget the worst year long title reign ever to boot as diesel.

    ReplyDelete
  120. I don't want to get into semantics. I know Nash drew more money in WCW than he ever did in WWF. I guess my point was Diesel in 2011 was more over than Nash in 2011.

    ReplyDelete
  121. Put my name in the hat.

    ReplyDelete
  122. He did have one funny moment on the Raw were Miz interrupted Stone Cold. Cole climbed onto his announce table cheering and pumping his fist, then when he sat back down said in a super excited mark voice "I wonder if he saw me!" I thought that was one of the times they actually pulled it off pretty well because it was so over the top.

    ReplyDelete
  123. The iron man match at wm12 gets better every time I watch it

    ReplyDelete
  124. We had a crowd of about 10/12 people watching this rumble live and when Santino popped out and started loading up the cobra, everyone was marking out huge. The year later when it came down to Santino and DB in the Elimination Chamber, we were marking out like crazy again. I mean, I know they never intended to give Santino the World Title, but surely a one month reign for him would've been better than the Swagger or Khali runs.

    ReplyDelete
  125. He used that great 2002 run where he was good guy Hogan to evolve into Affliction t shirt megadouche Hogan that we deal with now.

    ReplyDelete
  126. That's all semantics, though. Everybody old enough to "mark out" for Diesel at the Rumble knew that Nash and Diesel are one in the same. Sure, he dyed his hair to have that "Diesel" look, but if Michael Cole had said, "Look! That's Diesel!" instead of "Kevin Nash" at SummerSlam, it wouldn't have made jack shit of a difference to anybody.

    ReplyDelete
  127. as mentioned before in this topic, just look at the crowd reaction he got in 2012s Elimination Chamber.

    Santino seems to be one of the very few "comedy wrestlers" that has a "genuine" emotional connection to the audience.

    (unfortunately I am afraid that ship has sailed. you can only do those "man, he is actually gonna pull this off!" moments so often and let the guy fail before the crowd stops caring enough)

    ReplyDelete
  128. I don't know if anyone said it below, but the DB Gail Kim thing was actually a big payoff to another story.
    The Bellas were pulling a Y2J Christian scenario where they were trying to see which one of them would score with Bryan to become his first. During one backstage segment, they barged into his locker room to see him kissing Gail Kim. There was an ok joke in there.
    Bella: But I thought you were a V...
    Bryan: Oh yeah, I'm a vegan. Can't eat meat.

    ReplyDelete
  129. The thing I loved about that match was that while Santino was the likeable plucky underdog... It was Daniel Freaking Bryan who was the overwhelming favorite to retain his World Title. That was pretty damn cool.

    ReplyDelete
  130. personally, I love that.

    ReplyDelete
  131. He was on the verge of crying.

    ReplyDelete
  132. I know everyone knows Diesel and Nash are the same person, but Nash/Diesel are two different characters. Nash plays his Nash role more as a
    comedy character, whereas he plays the Diesel character
    as an unstoppable badass. and if the angle played out exactly as it was it but they replaced Nash with Diesel it still would've turned to crap.

    But if they ended Summerslam like this; Punk wins the match and celebrates, all of a sudden Diesel music plays and he casually strolls down the aisle and hits Punk with all his Diesel spots before ADR cashes in. I'm sure that would have gone over better than what we actually got.

    ReplyDelete
  133. "I've been a fan all my life, you live for stuff like this, LISTEN!"

    I think that's awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  134. The moral of the story: Bryan traded down.

    ReplyDelete
  135. The other moral of the story, Brie won.

    ReplyDelete
  136. I am incredibly jealous of Daniel Bryan (At least storyline wise). 3 of my biggest turn ons/fantasies are...
    Crazy Chics (AJ)
    Asian women (Gail Kim)
    Twins (One of the Bellas).

    So yep, BURY THE GUY, WWE CREATIVE... SHOW NO MERCY!!

    ReplyDelete
  137. That made me laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  138. isn't the Orton/Triple H LMS match pretty much the only good match these two ever had?

    ReplyDelete
  139. what? ironman is an awesome stipulation.

    ReplyDelete
  140. absolute agree on both of those.

    ReplyDelete
  141. The Love-Matic Grampa!January 13, 2014 at 9:22 AM

    And then Cena and Orton have the biggest Wrestlemania Moment Epic Fail in history, as they point to the sign and the crowd shits all over it. Awesome.




    I'm smiling just thinking about it. And yet, they're STILL headlining shows and might even end up main eventing Wrestlemania this year. That says it all, doesn't it?

    ReplyDelete
  142. exactly. to me King of the Ring 1993 is the best example why I always thought Bret Hart was awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  143. you're obviously right: that spot belongs to Randy Savage.

    ReplyDelete
  144. exactly. between 1992 and 1995 he was putting on good matches with pretty much everybody, Fatu, Isaac Yankem, Papa Shango .....

    ReplyDelete
  145. Your_Favourite_LoserJanuary 13, 2014 at 10:23 AM

    'Why do they not throw money at this guy and bring him back?'


    b/c melina would be mad and he's her doormat

    ReplyDelete
  146. Your_Favourite_LoserJanuary 13, 2014 at 10:26 AM

    wow, two different rumble crowds (this and '94) that influenced the booking of diesel

    ReplyDelete
  147. Because of the rock

    ReplyDelete
  148. Your_Favourite_LoserJanuary 13, 2014 at 10:27 AM

    it should be noted hot freaking hot the crowd was for santino at the very end

    ReplyDelete
  149. Your_Favourite_LoserJanuary 13, 2014 at 10:30 AM

    i still want to know what the plan was in case rock didnt appear

    no way miz walks out of the show with the title, and with no rock at all, i highly doubt miz even walks into the show with the title. as much i think the rock has overstayed his welcome, miz/cena doesnt put butts in seats, and rock was responsible for the buyrate

    ReplyDelete
  150. Your_Favourite_LoserJanuary 13, 2014 at 10:30 AM

    and reneke's epic meltdown (or was that the year before?)

    ReplyDelete
  151. I was into his heel schtick at first but it got grating after a while

    ReplyDelete
  152. Your_Favourite_LoserJanuary 13, 2014 at 10:32 AM

    i'm someone else!

    ReplyDelete
  153. The Vince one was stupid considering the next night he relinquishes his title shot and Austin gets the title shot since he's the runner up.

    ReplyDelete
  154. Totally. I think Cena-Taker would have made sense that year. HHH could face someone else. If Cena-Rock was always the end goal, maybe Rock's involvement helps preserve the Streak and sets up Wm28. Cena could still challenge Taker for another go-around at a later date (without Rock's interference). Miz-Morrison made plenty of sense.

    ReplyDelete
  155. I contend that Edge should have been a surprise entry and won the thing, after retainig the WHT in the opener. Then the build to "Elimination Chamber" could be "Will Edge still be WH champ when he challenges the WWE Champ at Wrestlemania?" Have Cena win the WWE title at the Chamber, then do a unification at Wrestlemania 27. The last couple years of two titles meant nothing anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  156. Didn't bother counting, but if we haven't reached 30 I'll play.

    ReplyDelete
  157. Amsterdam_Adam_CurryJanuary 13, 2014 at 11:37 AM

    It's still one of my favorites just for sentimental reasons, but there's way too much stalling in that match.

    ReplyDelete
  158. if the howl of the wolfpac hit same response lol.

    ReplyDelete
  159. Stranger in the AlpsJanuary 13, 2014 at 11:52 AM

    I count 33 at this point. If anyone draws a number higher than 30, I say we make them have a Michael Cole avatar.

    ReplyDelete
  160. The Rock was ALWAYS returning....that's why they booked things the way they did.


    The point is correct: no one forgot to buy WrestleMania. In fact, it was the 2nd biggest wrestling PPV of all time at the time.

    ReplyDelete
  161. And the 1994 Rumble was in Providence, which is basically Boston South.


    So really...Kevin Nash's entire career could be blamed on Massholes.

    ReplyDelete
  162. Youre going to put that much effort in? Kudos to you, sir.

    ReplyDelete
  163. This is one of the dumbest things ever posted on this site. And jesse Baker posts here. Please support this with facts of wwe "knowing" rock was gonna a return. They ALWAYS knew? Did they know in late 2020 when they were building up Miz and Morrison?

    ReplyDelete
  164. You can only talk about how Big Show's hands are like frying pans.

    ReplyDelete
  165. Quite the revisionist history with the Miz here. He was pretty hot in 2010...it was only until the Rock showed up and the feud became Rock/Cena with Miz on the side that he turned into a sideshow.


    And based on the buyrate for this show...and the MEGA buyrate for WM 28...I'm pretty sure no one in Stamford was losing sleep over the WM 27 mess.

    ReplyDelete
  166. This makes entrant #30. Thanks for your interest!

    Later this week, I shall go to random.org to randomize the list, and announce the draw in some form or other.

    Alternates in case someone below drops out for some reason:
    1. Mar Solo
    2. theJawas
    3. nppyinzer
    4. bignasty96

    The thirty participants (NOT currently in order) will be:

    YJ2310
    JohnPetuka
    Stephen Jones
    Matt Hayden
    Fistic Glory
    cultstatus
    LScisco
    AmericanWolves02
    Kyle Warne
    Power_of_Hogans_HOF_Ring

    nebb28
    Andree Dean
    Charlie Owens
    MrJustinB
    The Cooler
    Stever Ferrari
    Paul Moseley
    OfficerFarva
    kylelitke
    Stuart_Chartlock

    Knowwon Attawi
    Stranger in the Alps
    Knuckleberry Pinn
    ThePat
    Sirplss
    ABeyAnce1
    ziggaman730
    PATRICKisLEGEND
    jobber123
    Your_Favorourite_Loser

    ReplyDelete
  167. Your_Favourite_LoserJanuary 13, 2014 at 12:56 PM

    ' in case someone below drops out for some reason:'

    ...or is *ahem* unable to participate

    *dramatic music*

    ReplyDelete
  168. Yes and no. Having Cena come in and get beat down while fighting back valiantly would sell Nexus as a lot more of a threat, THEN eliminate Nexus guys when Cena survives long enough for some backup (Booker would have been PERFECT there, or an up-and-comer to get the rub) to get over the idea that Cena can take any member of the Nexus 1v1, but can't deal with them collectively. That, I think, would have been the better booking.

    ReplyDelete
  169. Probably Miz's best match ever, though.

    ReplyDelete
  170. Ok, wow, I disagree. I think Morrison's the biggest missed opportunity they've had. Guy had great matches with Miz (a slug), Sheamus (mostly a slug), Bryan (obviously great), Ziggler (ditto), and Rey (pretty good). He was stupid over, and had a great look and unique style. And, while he stunk at WWE scripted promos, on the rare occasions when they let him be himself (Dirt Sheet, calling Miz Marty Janetty), he was pretty great on the mic. Guy absolutely could and should have been a main eventer.

    ReplyDelete
  171. I think it did. You had that four year stretch where three times they fucked with the Rumble winner and it started to make the whole thing seem less important in my eyes. At least in 2002 they just gave HHH the shot right back

    ReplyDelete
  172. Amsterdam_Adam_CurryJanuary 13, 2014 at 1:45 PM

    Replace Miz and Khali with Generico and PAC and we're good to go.

    ReplyDelete
  173. Amsterdam_Adam_CurryJanuary 13, 2014 at 1:48 PM

    I think he was being sarcastic.

    ReplyDelete
  174. Amsterdam_Adam_CurryJanuary 13, 2014 at 1:51 PM

    What new fans?

    ReplyDelete
  175. Amsterdam_Adam_CurryJanuary 13, 2014 at 1:53 PM

    Melina and Morrison were coked out of their minds?

    ReplyDelete
  176. Amsterdam_Adam_CurryJanuary 13, 2014 at 1:58 PM

    This perfectly describes the reasons that I hated the Attitude Era.

    ReplyDelete
  177. I fucking despise Del Rio and was hoping that somehow Santino (or Santonio as my step son calls him) would somehow win

    ReplyDelete
  178. Yeah she must be a fantastic fuck for all he has given up for her... like she must make Angelina Jolie look like your hand.

    ReplyDelete
  179. Pretty much the whole "Attitude" era doesn't hold up for me.

    ReplyDelete
  180. Taker and HHH wrestled at WM17. This was II.

    ReplyDelete
  181. I read that Nash said if he never stepped foot in a ring again he could retire happily on that night alone, hearing a sold out 18,000+ crowd erupt & chant his name in unison.....just that one....last....time. Meh, idk. Good for him I guess. Is Nash overrated? I can't decide. A big player for sure though.

    ReplyDelete
  182. It should be noted that I was makring the fuck out in my apartment.

    ReplyDelete
  183. Scott's description of the Rumble makes it sound considerably better than ***1/4.

    ReplyDelete
  184. But don't ever push the guy, even though he's fucking over.

    ReplyDelete
  185. Im not speaking of buyrates, as a fan I could give zero fucks how much money the McMahon family made on what is easily one of the top 5 worst WMs....

    ....Miz was not as hot as you recall, if he was, he wouldve had another run with the title....

    ....And yes, Cena/Miz and Rock hosting was a mess....

    ReplyDelete
  186. If you are speaking of his TNA days, his name gets him paid and it should but they didnt know how to utilize him correctly....

    ReplyDelete
  187. Im guessing they knew he was coming back as he has a busy schedule and wouldve had to clear a spot pretty far in advance...

    ...Im a huge Rock fan and his 3 year WM run really took away from his legend for me. His promos seemed forced and he didnt seem as comfortable as he once was...

    ...the WM 27 host thing was a giant fail in my opinion when it came to Rock, not to the bottom line...

    ReplyDelete
  188. That was epic, one of my fav threads to ever happen here.....

    ReplyDelete

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