The SmarK RAW Rant – 01.20.14
Live from somewhere.
Your hosts are Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler & JBL
Happy Martin Lawrence King Day! Although I appreciate his comedic stylings, it’s sadly not a holiday up here. I do enjoy both Bad Boys movies though.
PLUGS! As a reminder, I have new Kindle books out covering all the Royal Rumble rants and also all the RAW rants for 2013. And they, don’t forget to stop by WhatCulture for my list of 5 Returns That Rocked and 5 That Fizzled.
The Authority are out to start, playing babyface this week. Holy god, just pick a side and stick to it. No wonder this whole storyline is such a flop. They introduce Batista, but Randy Orton comes out instead and this is supposed to be shocking because they apparently don’t like each other this week. Until they help him win again and ZOMG SHOCKING SWERVE. Stephanie makes sure to plug the Network and use all the buzzwords, then dresses Orton down because everyone loves to buy tickets to see the authority figures neuter both the babyfaces and heels. Oh, and HHH makes sure to point out that despite unifying both World titles and being the top guy in the promotion, Orton is only champion because management allows it. WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS STORYLINE? And with that, Batista makes his return, wearing skinny jeans and a sweatshirt as only he can. And he hugs the Authority for some reason and tells Orton that he’s back and coming for the title. Well, duh. They had four years to come up with something for him and that’s what they came up with? No wonder Evan Bourne is stuck in limbo.
Meanwhile, Stephanie bitches out Kane for chokeslamming CM Punk and reminds him that management can never put their hands on the talent. Except when it’s HHH randomly giving people Pedigrees, because that’s fine. So he has to apologize to Punk.
The Shield v. Cody Rhodes, Goldust & Big E Langston
The faces work Rollins over in the corner to start and Goldust gives him a Flip Flop & Fly and atomic drop for two. Cody with a delayed suplex for two. Sunset flip out of the corner gets two, but the disaster kick misses and Rollins bails. Cody keeps coming with a dive and we take a break. Back with Cody hitting Reigns with the kick and making the tag to Big E. Belly to belly for Ambrose and he dumps Rollins, then suplexes Ambrose into the Warrior splash for two. Then the finishers start, as Reigns hits the SUPERMAN PUNCH on Goldust, and Rollins finishes Big E with the Blackout at 10:09. Just a match. And why job the bald guy on Lex Luthor King Day? **1/2
Daniel Bryan joins us to wake up the crowd, and he’s eating the buzzards or something. Wasn’t he a vegan? Because I think chewing on buzzard carcasses is exactly the kind of thing that they’re against. Quite strongly so, in fact. So he’s happy that Harper & Rowan are going to be in the Rumble, because that leaves Bray Wyatt to have a match with him. That would imply Bryan isn’t in the Rumble, and that would suck.
Kane is out to apologize to Punk, and he does so, even though technically he saved him from five guys on Smackdown. Punk accepts the apology and then attacks Kane anyway, but Brad Maddox breaks it up by sending out the Outlaws instead.
CM Punk v. Billy Gunn
They quickly brawl on the floor and we take a break. Back with Punk making the comeback and Gunn bailing, so Punk hits Dogg with a dive. Back in, Gunn misses the fameasser and Goes 2 Sleep at 8:30. Just a match. Wait, something something how could Billy Gunn jobbing Billie Jean King Day? How about that one? And then Kane and Brad Maddox fight over sarcastic comment rights, and Kane wins by virtue of entering Punk into the Rumble at #1. So for those like me who have trouble keeping track, Punk is feuding with one set of authority figures, and Orton is supposedly feuding with another set of authority figures. BUT WHERE DOES VICKIE FIGURE INTO THIS?
Alberto Del Rio v. Rey Mysterio
Yes, it’s the RUBBER MATCH. The only thing they love more than losing streaks. Del Rio stomps away on the ropes, but misses a charge and hits the floor, allowing Rey to moonsault him to the floor. Back in, Rey with the baseball slide and he hammers away as we hit the part of the show where I’m checking the timeline to see how much longer I have to sit through. So stuff happens and we take a break as RAW rolls on and blah blah blah. Back with Rey coming back and the crowd continuing to sound bored, but ADR blocks the 619. Superkick gets two. Rey gets the 619 on the second try and drops the dime, but only gets two. Del Rio finishes with the armbar at 14:10. **1/4 And now Pitbull comes out to confront Del Rio over the bad things he was saying about his hot new jam with David Guetta, which leads to Del Rio getting beat up and powerbombed.
Big Show is out to do a pretty good Heyman impression and call out Brock, because he doesn’t like him. Fair enough. Brock answers, is unable to wrest Show from his position in the ring, and Show throws him out to assert that yes, he is big and strong. Still a waste of Brock, but whatever, this was fine.
The Usos v. The Wyatt Family
Jimmy gets pounded in the Wyatt corner to start, but fights outside the ring and brings in Jey, who hits Harper with a dive off the apron. Back in, Harper and Jey slug it out and Jimmy comes in with a crossbody for two. He gets caught in the corner again and Rowan uses the dreaded DOUBLE ATOMIC NOOGIE, but shockingly it doesn’t finish. Slaughter used to beat guys with a single noogie, and this was DOUBLE! Jimmy fights up and goes to the top, but Harper shoves him to the floor as we take a break. Every match dragging through a commercial break is not making this show any easier to get through. Back with Bray cutting a promo while Harper holds a chinlock. Hot tag to Jey and he cleans house, but runs into Harper’s elbow from the floor. Michinoku driver gets two for Luke. This brings Daniel Bryan out to beat on Bray Wyatt and Jey gets the distraction rollup on Harper for the pin at 12:25. ** And this finally wakes up the crowd. Just in time for Randy Orton to put them to sleep again.
Randy Orton v. Kofi Kingston
You’ll note that despite beating the champion last week, this is not a title match for Kofi. Not that he deserves one anyway. Kofi manages to chase Orton out of the ring, and they brawl at the announce table as Orton takes over. Back in, Kofi fights back with an elbow in the corner for two. Orton continues being distracted by Cena’s refusal to show up despite being 2 and a half hours late already, and indeed he finally shows up with 10 minutes left in the show. Orton is so distracted that Kofi is able to, uh, cling to Orton’s leg like a geek, and the Orton-Cena brawl is on at 5:10. And then Orton runs away and, I dunno, carjacks a guy I guess? Really?
The Pulse
Considering the Rumble is basically Batista, Punk and 28 warm bodies, you might as well get ready for Batista v. Orton headlining Wrestlemania right now. Clearly Vince knows better than us what we really want to see.
When Brock Lesnar returned and you asked me to list the matches I'd want to see from him, a match against Big Show probably would not have cracked the top 10. I didn't want to see it in 2002 and I really don't want to see it in 2014. I hope they at least have Brock enter the Royal Rumble too. I'm assuming this has to be the case because Brock cut a promo about going after the WWE Championship right? So I'm guessing we get Batista vs. Orton or Brock for the title at Mania.
ReplyDeleteSnarky Keith at his best.
ReplyDeleteThis was classic
ReplyDeleteBrock basically declared himself the #1 contender ... he feels winning the Rumble is irrelevant if he wants a shot.
ReplyDeleteHorrible Raw ending. No heat, no direction, no PASSION shown from Cena or Orton. Just horrible. And yes Farva, Snark Keith at his finest. Give me six Schlitzezes...whatever's free.
ReplyDelete"And now Pitbull comes out to confront Del Rio over the bad things he was saying about his hot new jam with David Guetta, which leads to Del Rio getting beat up and powerbombed."
ReplyDeleteWell, thanks, Scott. I can no longer unsee this image.
So on 411 they are reporting as of right now the plan is for Bryan to not be in the rumble. I'm honestly happy enough with the wwe network to not give a shit but even if they don't want him to win it, why not put him in the match... for the fans. Its weird. The only thing that makes sense is they don't want to deal with backlash against someone else winning with Bryan in the match, but wouldn't that be a huge reason to have him win?
ReplyDeleteWhy DO they call it a "rubber match" anyway?
ReplyDelete*touches finger to side of nose*
ReplyDeleteThey don't want DB in the match because it would split the crowd, and piss off a majority of people when he's eliminated and Batista wins.
ReplyDeleteBecause they it need to stop giving birth to more rematches.
ReplyDeleteSo we can keep from getting fucked raw dog anymore.
ReplyDeleteI think it's the fear of backlash of him not winning. If he goes over Bray cleanly tho, I'm not convinced he will but if he does, isn't that better for him then being in the rumble and not winning it? Why put him in if he's not gonna win?
ReplyDeleteEither way it's disappointing overall. I really thought they might change course and have him win it.
Uso crazy!!!
ReplyDeleteIt's a term that's been in place from at least the 16th century, the origins of which have been lost to the sands of time.
ReplyDeleteComeuppance? How much more of an ass kicking did you want Shawn to take inside Hell in a Cell?
ReplyDeletePlus draping the Austin 3:16 shirt over his carcass.
ReplyDelete"People who say things like "well, God will get him!" or "there's a special place in hell for him!" or type things like "there is only one TRUE judge and He is GOD ALMIGHTY!!!" make me want to vomit."
ReplyDeleteYep.
"Another form of this hypocrisy is how Christian's believe a man like Joesph Smith"
No they don't, Mormons believe in what Joseph Smith wrote, most Christians think that Mormons are idiots and the Book of Mormon is a bunch of ridiculous bullshit. THAT is the real hypocrisy. Why is one more valid than the other? Same thing for Islam, the Koran is basically the Bible told from a different perspective, even involving a lot of the same people/characters. Assuming the was a God (I'm a firm atheist, never had any real reason not to be as religion never played the slightest role in my upbringing, or really any part of my life), wouldn't it make sense for Him to spread his message in different ways to reach the most people. Christian, Jew, Mormon, Muslim, they're all damn near the same thing, so I don't see why people argue and start wars and genocide over it.
"Why in the FUCK would you then turn around and put "in God we trust" on money"
I've never understood how that's even constitutional. Fuck it though, as long as I can spend it I don't give a damn.
Doesn't this company realize there might still be a backlash if Bryan ISN'T in the match? In kayfabe terms I have a hard time believing that Bryan would just say "hey, I'd rather kick Bray's ass than have a shot at the title that was stolen from me at SummerSlam."
ReplyDeleteVince's moment of the entire crowd chanting "Yes!" might be just after superstar #30 walks out and the crowd realizes Daniel Bryan never entered the match.
ReplyDeleteWho wants to win a used rubber? Ewwwww...
ReplyDeleteOne more thing: fuck scientologists (heh, Chrome doesn't even recognize that as a real word), you people are fucking MORONS. It's not a religion, it's a cross between a cult and a vicious criminal cartel. Scientology has more in common with the mafia or even street gangs like the Bloods and Crips than they do any real religious groups. And before anyone mentions my "Why is one more valid than the other?" comment below, there's a big difference here. Mostly the whole idea of religion is to make you a better person and make society better as a whole. It usually fails miserably, but the basic premise is a good one. Whereas Scientology has one sole purpose: TO MAKE MONEY, and they will do just about anything to achieve that goal. Harassment, slander, intimidation (though I've never heard anything about the CoS ever whacking someone or sending Hired Goons or anything), whatever it takes. It amazes me that the Feds continue to let them claim to be a religion for tax purposes, though I suppose between the 1st amendment and the "Your religion is whatever you say it is" provision in the Geneva Convention they don't really have a choice.
ReplyDeleteI only mention this because I saw a bus earlier with a huge CoS ad on it, and it really pissed me off for some reason. Go back to Hollywood, fuckers, you're not welcome in Upstate NY.
It was almost good enough. ...but not quite!
ReplyDeleteI REALLY didn't like Shawn at the time. ..
Prior to reading this, I was actually somewhat looking forward to the PPV.
ReplyDeleteNot so much now.
But it was ribbed for your pleasure...
ReplyDeleteI've been a fan of TNA since the first weekly PPV.
ReplyDeleteI stopped expecting feds to give fans what they want a LONG time ago.
(2013 was my "I give up" year, BTW. I'm an idiot, but even I can't pretend they have a chance any more.)
HBK's punishment was that he did the job, which in that case is probably a kick in the old ego. Yeah, I know that wasn't the punishment for acting out, but let's be honest, that's why he was acting out. At least he didn't write a long-winded emotional letter.
ReplyDeleteElimination Chamber is basically the big road to WM match this year, they're just not going to outright admit that, because then no one would buy the Rumble.
ReplyDeleteThat's why DB isn't in it, why Brock may not be, why Punk is given an excuse to lose. So they can throw everyone and their mother into the Chamber for the biggest Chamber match they've done, for the belt.
TNA proves that Hegel's argument that the one lesson people learn from history is that no one learns from history. Once Russo, Hogan, and the gang came in there it was the beginning of the end.
ReplyDeleteYou know, that's the part that pisses me off most of all.
ReplyDeleteI could understand for a few friggin' years Dixie not getting it -- I think that's why I gave TNA chance after chance. McMahon had time to learn, so I was willing to give TNA some benefit of the doubt due to their potential (and the times they hit their potential -- 2005, the tail end of 2009, late 2011 - mid-2012 -- it was friggin glorious).
But 11 YEARS? Seriously? Making the exact same mistakes that others have made before you?
Shit, at least be original in your mistakes!
Does anyone else feel that the biggest mistake WWE made was going public?
ReplyDeleteIt's like they're afraid to take chances any more. That was fine when they were crushing the ratings/buy rates -- they could tell the investors/advertisers "screw you -- we're making tons of money!" -- but now they've become whipped p*ssies when it comes to taking a chance on anything worthwhile.
They've come back from the brink TWICE, which is pretty historic. I just don't know if, with their current model, they'll be able to come back a third time, if it comes to that.
Obviously, they're nowhere near dire straights right now. But that doesn't mean they won't be in 5-10 years, if they keep up with the dull crap they're running the past few years.
I would definitely agree with this. Going public made financial sense in making the McMahon's richer (and some of the wrestlers like JBL that cashed their stock options quick because they realized the initial value of the company was too high), but like you say, it has made them like the rest of corporate America where the status quo is good enough and doing something risky, despite it potentially creating more profit, is just thrown away to maintain the status quo.
ReplyDeleteThis will eventually catch up to the company because when they don't create the iconic stars of this era through their 50/50 booking they are not going to get fans to come back for the long-term. Someone pointed out weeks ago (I need to start remembering who says these things to stick with me to give proper credit) that the WWE is just finding new revenue streams that take from the same customers.
I don't want to turn into one of those "old" fans that is like "well everything was better in my era," but the 80s and 90s had some iconic guys that stood out like Hogan, Warrior, Savage, and DiBiase. Hell, even Honky Tonk Man, Dusty Rhodes in polka dots, and goofy characters like that are more memorable than what I see on TV today from the current crop of guys. I just don't see us being 10-15 years from now and people hankering for a Randy Orton return or the return of Alberto del Rio.
I never quite got into TNA like some of my friends, but they really had something good around 2005-2006 when they had AJ, Samoa Joe as a beast, Christopher Daniels, Abyss, Team Canada, etc. They had the 6-sided ring that stood out and the X-Division, although as I've mentioned before I had problems watching some of those matches because of the moves. They had faults with their booking like Jeff Jarrett going over everyone, but at least the product felt like an alternative.
ReplyDeleteI remember watching the first episode Hogan came in and I knew things were going to go badly. He cut a promo blasting the old fans and talking about "six sides, eight sides" for the ring were gone and that the old fans couldn't put the product over the top. When the Nasty Boys came in I knew things were doomed and just gave up on ever being interested.
Bastisa/Lesnar, Bryan/Orton, Punk/HHH, Cena/Taker
ReplyDeleteOur (grand)parents would have preferred to see the return of Gorgeous George, Bruno, Rocca, etc when they got older. We prefer to see 80's/90's guys. Kids of the Attitude era prefer to see Attitude guys, and the current kids will be thrilled to see Cena/Orton/Del Rio/Reigns etc return. Every generation has nostalgia, we just get nostalgic over different things.
ReplyDeleteBest to think of it as the Rumble is for one slot in the match, the Chamber is for the other. More people (kayfabe) have a shot at glory in the Rumble, while EC goes to only a select few.
ReplyDeleteI still prefer that to a Rumble winner (looking at you, Sheamus) inexplicably going for the lesser of two belts.
While it's not looking good that the WM card will end up being what most BoD'ers seem to want (roughly Bryan/Lesnar, Punk/HHH, Cena/Taker, Orton/Bastista, give or take), at least having one world title and multiple players going for it has made this a very unpredictable Road to Wrestlemania so far. Much better than recent years where we knew we had Cena/Rock, could pretty much call the Taker match, and just waited to see how they got us there. This year, we don't even know where we're going...
ReplyDeletePart of me wants Bryan not to be in the Rumble just so we get the crowd chanting "Dan-iel Bry-an" while Batista celebrates.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I agree with you to a large extent, at the same time, how "memorable" are more than the handful of top guys? Heck, how memorable is anyone but maybe Cena?
ReplyDeletePart of that could be the lack of a viable second Fed, but I seemed to recall more people being talked about during the 80s and 90s.
My nephew, who is 17 and NOT a wrestling fan, knows John Cena. That's it.
Back when I was that age, I knew a ton of wrestlers, as did pretty much everyone else I know, even the non-wrestling fans. Even if they only heard of WWF, they knew Hogan, Savage, Piper, Demolition, Warrior, Andre, etc...
Now, the only one they truly built to that level in the last 10 years is Cena. Outside of that, it's been a bunch of interchangeable cogs, and the old guys who were big when the "last" (Attitude) generation was around in The Rock or even previous generation was around in The Undertaker.
We think the Hogan era was bad, but the mid-card back then was 100x more memorable than the midcard now.
I didn't LIKE Jarrett going over, but, like the territory days, I understood it in the early days. You had to have someone as champ that you knew would be with the company, so it was either him, or someone he could trust (like AJ), or someone who was professional (like Raven).
ReplyDeleteGranted, by 2006, they had enough steam that he should have loosened the reigns some. But it was at least understandable, if not frustrating when people like Monty Brown weren't being given a run with the belt.
That's kind of the point behind a lot of the play "The Book of Mormon"- they basically invent parables and stuff to apply to the lives of people in Africa, to both more easily convert them, and to bring them around to the right way of thinking ("oh NO, you shouldn't cut little girls' clits off- because GOD SAID SO and here's a story about a clit-frog to prove it!")
ReplyDeleteA Christian friend from High School suggested that paleontologists are just making mistakes about the dinosaurs and that the world is really very young. He was all "how do you know that Apatosaurus isn't actually a giraffe?" He actually thought this. And he was GOOD SCIENCE STUDENT, TOO!
ReplyDeleteI know someone in America is going to have a perfect bracket until the title game and then lose it.
ReplyDeleteI'll just pick the top seed in every round, then go random for the Final Four.
ReplyDeleteThis is leading to a different question - when wrestling goes mainstream, more people get remembered. More non-fans knew Hogan/Andre/Piper from the mid 80's than Hart/Michaels/Diesel from the mid 90's because wrestling was in a boom period. For today's fans, the wrestlers will be memorable, for non-fans, it will be just Cena. If this were a boom period, Cena, Orton, Punk, & Bryan would all be remembered. Now, you could argue that good characters lead to boom periods, but that's another topic :)
ReplyDeleteIf Bryan isn't in the Rumble, I hope we get Daniel Bryan chants for the entire Rumble match. Like the PPV after Bryan got fired where the crowd just chanted for him all night including as the PPV went off the air.
ReplyDeleteAnd even then, post-return HBK had no problem working with younger guys or putting them over. I think Scott's memory is off on this one.
ReplyDeleteIf the crowd isn't chanting "DAN-YELL BRY-AN" before every entrant from number 3 onwards, they are slacking off.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure almost nobody cared about Daniel Bryan when he got fired. He was just Nexus Member #8 at the time.
ReplyDeleteIf Bryan is still recovering from a legit concussion, it makes sense that he wouldn't be in the Rumble, and I wouldn't want him to be in the Rumble. That's why I'm thinking the Bryan-Wyatt match won't even happen; Bryan will receive an unseen beatdown from the Wyatts during the PPV and they'll take him off in an ambulance or something. Sucks for the fans, but if he has a real injury, that stuff happens.
ReplyDeleteThe HBK Hogan match is my fave Hogan match because someone finally did something about Hogans sorry offense. Hogan and Shawn are both total assholes but Shawn is a talented asshole.
ReplyDeleteIf Bryan isn't winning the rumble he shouldn't be in it he is the it guy right now and doesent need another loss.
ReplyDeleteIf Bryan isn't winning the rumble he shouldn't be in it, he is the it guy right now and doesent need another loss.
ReplyDeleteI distinctly remember there being Daniel Bryan chants at the Fatal Four Way 2010 PPV as it went off the air along with there being DB chants while Vince made his PPV opening speech. I'm not sure why I remember exact details from the B'est of all B Pay Per Views but I do for some reason.
ReplyDeleteHe's recovering from a concussion.
ReplyDeleteI stopped reading after 2 paragraphs. Cranky Scott is really "hit or miss", it was "miss" this time.
ReplyDeleteHuge "hit" for me.
ReplyDeleteIn regards to the ending segment, I was actually surprised they didn't make Kofi look like a total jobber. Normal WWE booking would have Orton just murder him and pin him clean in 2 minutes, then have Cena come out. In this case, Kofi didn't lose and actually helped Cena by stopping Orton from fleeing ringside.
ReplyDeleteI personally think Kofi should be pushed more than he is, but compared to some of the other guys on the roster, he is actually somewhat protected with how he's booked.
He's just Vince's Token athletic Black wrestler at this point. He'll never be completely buried, but he'll never get beyond a fluky winning, enhancement talent.
ReplyDeleteI'm calling a swerve. Bryan will be inserted in the Rumble somehow.
ReplyDeleteI give Batista a month before the fan base turns on him. When he came out to fight Del Rio, the second round of reactions dwindled significantly. At least the Rock could cut a promo, this guy was always awkward and unconvincing to go along with being a decent wrestler. So the writing is on the wall that there will be at least 5 matches at Wrestlemania featuring part-time guys (Batista/Orton, Hogan & Cena vs. whoever, Undertaker vs. whoever, Brock vs. whoever, and HHH vs. whoever) where they will go over. No wonder the WWE is clueless on building new talent and has no mid-card.
ReplyDeleteCole: "These fans are chanting yes in approval of Batista's second Royal Rumble win!!"
ReplyDeleteDaniel is no longer a vegan because trying to keep a vegan lifestyle while being on the road got to be too tough, but he doesn't eat a lot of meat as he gets most of his protein from eggs.
ReplyDeleteBatista starts doing the chant 15 seconds later and pretends HE STARTED IT ALL ALONG.
ReplyDeleteThe "Shelton Benjamin" spot.
ReplyDeleteIf he's still recovering, he should NOT have been cleared for anything Monday night. Just say the Wyatts jumped him during the week, and he's unfortunately out with a concussion. Hard to swallow, but the only fans that would reject it are the true assholes anyway.
ReplyDeleteI honestly believe Mike Adamle got Kofi over better than any feud or match since ;) "Jamaican me crazy"
ReplyDeleteThis show is a perfect example of how I believe this company doesn't give a shit anymore and has been stuck on creative cruise control for years. I wasn't gung-ho about Batista coming back, for example, but they didn't even TRY to make it interesting. It was just "Here's Dave, he's back, he wants the belt, yada yada yada, yay for us." No real buildup, no anticipation, no interesting story arc, no climax or payoff. Just "Here he is."
ReplyDeleteNo, there were definitely chants for him. Not like the ones he gets now, obviously, but several shows went off the air with fans chanting his name.
ReplyDeleteI've always liked the Brock/Show matches, and don't really have a "problem" with it, per se', but it does seem odd to use some of Brock's very limited dates for it.
ReplyDeleteAh well, I'll still enjoy watching Brock toss Show around, just like old times.
Miz will take his push now.
ReplyDeleteHuh? He developed a soy allergy which would make it near impossible for him to maintain his vegan diet. It's not that he was lazy.
ReplyDeleteI only upvoted you because you were able to work a Hegel reference into a wrestling discussion.
ReplyDeletePreviously also known as the "Flash Funk" spot. You could even make a case for it being the Hall of Famer Koko B Ware spot.
ReplyDeleteTeam Uso Jamaican Me Crazy - Kofi & Usos vs. The Shield. Again, I think. Book it!
ReplyDeleteYou make a good point. And it would be impossible to tell if those that DO know Michaels, Hart, and Nash know them from the "New Generation" era or the Attitude Era (or later).
ReplyDeleteThe ridiculous circumstances of that firing probably earned him a few fans by itself.
ReplyDeleteCreatively, yes. But financially, they're now rich and established enough to fight the cable industry itself and possibly even win, while their competition self-destructs all around them.
ReplyDeleteThis isn't his best. We haven't seen the hot pokers in a while.
ReplyDelete"And now Pitbull comes out to confront Del Rio over the bad things he was saying about his hot new jam with David Guetta, which leads to Del Rio getting beat up and powerbombed."
ReplyDeleteCould have been worse, at least he didn't walk in the shower naked and sing it to Del Rio while Del Rio's trying to take a shower.
I don't buy that as an excuse. WWE became public at the end of 1999, and since then we've seen stuff like Katie Vick, the Billy and Chuck wedding (while not inappropriate, still controversial for the time) and the initial DX reunion that saw Triple H and Candice Michelle getting....um....pleasured? WWE always had issues getting advertisers and sponsors, and they've figured out a formula where that's no longer an issue. It has very little to do with going public.
ReplyDeleteI think you're missing my train of thought a bit.
ReplyDeleteSee, when they were pulling the amazing ratings and buyrates, they could still do whatever they wanted. Who was going to argue with them? The stockholders? The advertisers? When you're hot, there are always more of both.
The problem is, since they cooled down, suddenly they've got to "play it safe" since they're not in the position of power any more.
I never really got the Bulldog hate. Dude has two ***** singles matches to his credit, against Bret and Owen, and one as a tag team with Owen, against Shawn and Austin on RAW. How many guys can make a claim that they've been in that many classic matches? And then, yeah, he was the glue that held together many of the mid '90s Rumbles. I think he was also underrated in the sense that WWF always connected with him. I remember in '97 before the Hart Foundation formed, people were legit clamoring for him to turn on Owen. He would constantly get great reactions for simply teasing dissension. I almost feel like his career was hampered a bit by joining the Hart Foundation. Dude wasn't going to be guy, especially in light of Austin's ascension, but he might have carved out a decent niche as an uppercard face. It also would have balanced out the late '90s face/heel dynamic in the company, which skewed heavily towards heels.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, forgot about that. But he did complain about being on the road too and keeping up with his vegan lifestyle.
ReplyDeleteI actually have somewhat high hopes for the Big Show - Lesnar Match. I remember them having much better matches during their feud in 2003 than anyone expected. They had suprisingly good chemistry. A decade later, they are both better wrestlers. It may feel like a waste of a Lesnar match, but I think a lotta people here may be surprised by the quality of match they will have at Royal Rumble.
ReplyDeleteJust fucking say "Chris Benoit," people.
ReplyDeleteHopefully he's saving the hot pokers for the shitfest that will be Wrestlemania this year.
ReplyDelete