The SmarK Rant for WWE NXT – 04.02.14
Taped from Orlando, FL
Your hosts are Tom Phillips, William Regal & Byron Saxton
Emma v. Sasha Banks
They trade headlocks to start and Emma MOCKS THE PROCESS while the crowd lets Sasha know that she’s “ratchet”. Renee Young confirms on commentary that this is not something that a woman would aspire to be. Emma with the Emma Sandwich and she locks in the EmmaLock for the submission at 3:54. Not much to this one with some comedy and then a quick win for Emma. I feel like they should kinda concentrate on getting Charlotte over to prep her as the next challenger. *
The Ascension v. Jack Hurley & John Vandal
So yet again they destroy this pair of geeks and finish with the Fall of Man at 2:00. Crowd is into them but they’re not actually developing anything by squashing guys week after week. ½*
Xavier Woods v. Brodus Clay
New look for Clay as he’s gone all Thug Life, kind of going back to the character that he was originally supposed to debut with in 2012. Clay throws Woods around with a suplex and HEART PUNCH, and a butt splash gets two. Avalanche and suplex gets two. Woods fights back by going to the legs and hitting a Shining Wizard for two, but he twists his ankle and Clay demolishes him with a powerbomb and finishes with a flying splash at 3:11. Now that’s more like it! Clay is pissed and wants the NXT title.
Adrian Neville is not afraid of Clay.
Tyler Breeze v. Yoshi Tatsu
Breeze attacks and throws a kick to the back for two before going to the chinlock, and then hammering him with a forearm before finishing with the Beauty Shot at 1:43. Wow, Tyler Breeze SQUASHING someone? Granted it’s only Yoshi Tatsu, but wow. *
Paige gets another video package, and confirms that Charlotte is next on the docket for her. See, I should be booking this stuff.
Sami Zayn v. Corey Graves
Graves dicks around in the ropes to start, so Zayn smacks him upside the head. Well played. Graves bails and stalls, making sure to point to his head to indicate his superior intelligence, but Zayn attacks him and pounds him with chops. Clothesline to the floor and he follows with his usual crazy dive, but Graves gets a cheapshot to take over. And we take a break. This to me raises the question of why I have to watch commercials on the network I pay $10 a month for, but it’s only 30 seconds at least and it’s all WWE product. Back with Graves holding a chinlock, but Zayn fights back and he’s swinging wild. Graves drops an elbow for two while Regal worries about potential concussion damage popping up again. Graves goes back to the chinlock and boots him down, then drops a knee for two. Back to the chinlock (“We Love Headlocks!”) but Sami fights out again, so Graves puts him down for two. Backbreaker gets two. Zayn makes the comeback with an exploder into the corner for two. Blue Thunder bomb gets two. Zayn with the running kick, but they collide and Sami is staggering around. The ref is concerned and Zayn wants to continue, but Graves whacks him in the head and the match is stopped at 15:00. Graves CM Punk-lite act is such a waste of everyone else’s time. It’s a gimmick that screams indy geek and I hate to see them wasting Zayn putting it over. **1/2 Zayn is a spectacular underdog babyface, but god I wish they’d book him to win sometimes. And I would really, really, really be OK with never seeing another concussion angle again. Really OK.
The Pulse
Decent show this week, as I really liked the reinvented Brodus Clay and watching Zayn master his craft is always great. But enough with losing streaks and concussions already.
I would die a happy man if I never had to hear about those Sean O'Haire vignettes ever again. I don't think a group with such "hype" and fanfare and then proceeded to go on and achieve nothing of significance ever has existed in wrestling than The Natural Born Thrillers. It can reasonably argued that Mark Jindrak was the most successful one of the bunch and that's sad.
ReplyDeleteSAXTON = JOKE ACCOUNT
ReplyDeleteAccording to Feige, Marvel has the MCU planned out through the late-2020s. Now that's fucking long-term booking.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, what is that all about anyways? The guy has what, 3000+ karma? Did he defend Triple H's 2002 run as good booking with a straight face or something?
ReplyDeleteI can't slag a guy with 3,000 Karma, since I just hit that benchmark...but he got the "Joke Account" tag because he used to post all this crap that wouldn't clear a dirtsheet and act like it was legit news. Then when Steven Richards said he was a GFaqs fan, the PWB just ran with the idea that Saxon actually was Stevie Richards (he's still greeted as such).
ReplyDeleteHulu Plus also has commercials, despite being paid for. It's the way things are heading.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking earlier about these vignettes and the awesome Nathan Jones vignettes. It's a shame that they didn't give those to better performers.
ReplyDeleteJones was alright. His heart was never in it from the beginning.
ReplyDeleteBut there are not as many commercial breaks and the breaks only last for 30-60 mins which I can deal with.
ReplyDeleteNot all content has commercials either
Some sad news, Masato Masuda (creator of Fire Pro Wrestling) has died aged 48. Such a shame and way too young. Always loved Fire Pro, for me they were equal with the N64 stuff.
ReplyDeleteSo is Roddy Pipper in the movie?
ReplyDeletestrong fantasy book bro, strong
ReplyDeleteHad WCW stayed open those guys would have carried a big piece of the torch for the 00's.
ReplyDeleteEverything you said makes sense but I just have a hard time filling that in myself. This doesn't seem like something that should be too hard to explain and yet they hardly feel the need to do so.
ReplyDeleteI love that on the old school shows, the commentators mention the winners of matches making more money, bonuses, etc. At least getting paid is a legit reason for everyone to be there...now the midcarders are just kind of there, and the main eventers all strive to be "the face of the WWE" but they never define what that actually means.
ReplyDeletehttp://deadspin.com/whats-up-with-mlb-tv-and-how-can-it-be-fixed-1557683857
ReplyDeleteAs Scooby-Doo would say: "Ruh-Roh?" (Some of the people doing MLB.tv are the same ones doing the WWE Network... and we're kinda close to Wrestlemania.)
"Goin' thru da pay windah, daddy!"
ReplyDeleteHe wrote this review for the Cult of Cornette.
ReplyDeleteCrowe's character sounds like the guy from PS4's 'Watch Dogs'.
ReplyDeleteNo use crying over spilt milk.
ReplyDeleteTJ: Plans fell through for tonight, any iPPVs tonight? ROH? DGUSA? Anything else interesting?
ReplyDeleteFor a dollar?
ReplyDeleteI think they want the perception to be that they are all Superstars making big money; hence why none of them have "jobs" etc...
ReplyDeleteI have had job where talking about my political leanings was 100% the main reason I applied for the job.
ReplyDeleteVery under appreciated movie! Cool concept, good execution, and Juliette Lewis was very hot in it.
ReplyDeleteI hope we are the first wrestling site to have a review of the movie
ReplyDeleteYou have potential
ReplyDeleteI enjoy the ones that have a tagline to the effect of "WATCH THE VIDEO OBAMA WANTED BANNED FROM THE INTERNET AND LEARN THE TRUTH!"
ReplyDeleteThere are so many things TNA could do that don't cost a dime that could improve their product. Not having authority figures and eliminating back stage segments would make their show feel like Bizarro World (in a good way).
ReplyDeleteFor making the obvious joke? I suppose he DOES fit right in with this crew.
ReplyDeleteI was gonna write one but Scott just LEFT MONEY ON THE TABLE.
ReplyDeleteIve had mlb.tv for a few years and they have it ironed out every year after the first week. I dont see anything going wrong with Mania unless the E likes losing money. Im expecting alot of people to sign up around 6:30 or 7:00 to watch Mania.
ReplyDeleteCorey Graves sucks. He's like a mix of Lawler's Memphis stall tactics and a pre-1987 Rick Rude who can do anything but punch.
ReplyDeleteNewsflash, kids - if the President wanted it off the internet, it would be off the internet.
ReplyDeleteDepends on the platform. I stream mlb.tv from the PS3, and last year it had issues until sometime around the all-star break.
ReplyDeleteIt is effective though... people see things like that and buy into it... there is a BIG market for conspiracy type things... and Jesse is smart enough to take advantage of it.
ReplyDeleteBecause Hogan was in Rocky III, not Rocky IV.
ReplyDeleteWell, it was Flair and Ross who booked an awesome product through 1989. It's a damn shame they replaced Flair with Ole in hindsight.
ReplyDeleteWasn't a big part of this heat for not shaking Taker's hand or something to? I had high hopes for that guy and was really bummed when they flushed it all way.
ReplyDeleteVader debuted at the Bash in 1990. Not really sure why he wasn't working more in the interim, other than that he was still doing a lot in Japan.
ReplyDeleteWell the real obvious joke would be "No use crying over male lactating milk." So he did do a little twist on it.
ReplyDeleteGreat.......
ReplyDeleteI don't know, I'd think Brock's a reasonably valuable asset for Vince these days. A monster with instant credibility and mainstream name value who can put on great matches and who's totally willing to have brutal matches and job out to guys? I think it's pretty beneficial to both sides.
ReplyDeleteI know, right?
ReplyDeleteI was just watching Wrestlemania V yesterday and cracked up at that line again. Think it was during the tag title match. And you're right, they just had such a great chemistry in calling the match, and both were so quick to react to the other's lines, I'd say it's hard to make an argument that any other pairing is clearly better than them.
ReplyDeleteWhy do they always put Byron Saxton and Tom Phillips together on commentary. I can't tell the difference between their voices.
ReplyDeleteGlad I found Fire Pro Returns for the PS2.
ReplyDeleteMy top 3 will forever be Monsoon/Ventura, Monsoon/Heenan and Ross/Caudle.
ReplyDeleteYou can include Ventura/Schiavone, Ventura/McMahon and Ross/Lawler ('98-'00), but those are my top 3 above.
I absolutely love that idea. And it would've even worked with the parallel career Warrior had going, as he was feuding with his 1989, midcard title nemesis, Rick Rude. More Muta-Sting in that time period would've been awesome.
ReplyDeleteHis first shoot interview that took place 15 years ago and the 1987 Timeline
ReplyDeleteHow many wrestlers were inspired by movies?
ReplyDeleteRazor Ramon - Scarface
Waylon Mercy/Bray Wyatt- Cape Fear
Sting - The Crow, The Joker
The Dudleys - Slap Shot
This was at the time when anyone from WCW was getting hazed. JBL was at the height of his douchbaggery and Taker sounded like a prick too. I heard that DDP got squashed for hugging Vince.
ReplyDeleteA few takeaways from this show:
ReplyDelete1. Sasha Banks looks like a drag queen.
2. The Ascension are not impressive at all at this point. May as well call them up and see what they can do.
3. If we get the ass-kicking Brodus Clay we were supposed to get two years ago, it just might work as a monster heel for babyface WWE champ Triple H.
4. Every time I see Corey Graves, my hatred for his douchey look increases.
A Canadian dollar?
ReplyDelete"The Fall Of Man" is such a waste of an awesome name on such a stupid looking move.
ReplyDeleteThat's why managers were so great, because they could either bring in guys who were clearly out for titles and glory or monsters and weirdos who liked to hurt people to take out the top babyface (or soften him up for their other clients).
ReplyDeleteDid the job, by any chance, have anything to do with politics?
ReplyDeleteYes BUT YOU SHOULD PAINT WITH SUCH A BROAD BRUSH!!!!!
ReplyDelete"I hope your kids are born retarded" - New Jack
ReplyDeletePoint be taken, sir.
ReplyDeleteI would rather keep the backstage segments if it meant getting rid of the majority of the in-ring segments.
ReplyDeleteI agree, it is. The fact that Ole did what he was told kind of explains why he replaced Flair and Ross.
ReplyDeleteThis is a question I've asked myself as well, it just leads you down a rabbit hole. The best answer to why all these weird characters are in the WWE is because they are all violent psychopaths who can only do this stuff in the WWE or else they'd be in jail or an asylum.
ReplyDeleteI think that was Mike Awesome. He got in trouble for some lack of handshaking or cutting in line in catering or something like that.
ReplyDeleteAnd Roddy Piper. If it's past 1992 and involves Roddy Piper it sucks.
ReplyDeleteI still say do a split: Give Dixie Impact and give MVP Xplosion (if they can get it on TV in the US) Xplosion can get all the people that aren't currently being used.
ReplyDeleteI too enjoy gazing upon said ass.
ReplyDeleteLet it be known that im not trying to argue.
ReplyDeleteWheres the main stream name value?
Brock lesnar doesnt add new buys to the product. Ppvs with him on it have gone down. The matches are good to great but as an attraction he isnt attracting.
Nathan Jones was the Undertakers protégé, right?
ReplyDelete"What's long-term booking?" - Vince Russo
ReplyDeleteI just don't think it's that hard to answer in most cases. They just don't bother addressing it. Let's take the Wyatt's for example. Bray wants to spread his beliefs, right? So he gets a job with the WWE because he will be given plenty of airtime to spread his message with little to no censorship. How hard is that? That's where my biggest frustration comes from.
ReplyDeleteOZ - HBO's OZ
ReplyDeleteI love Piper like crazy (got to meet him over the summer! He's awesome), but he was the wrong choice for O'Haire's manager. They should have given him a really weaselly guy who seemed in awe of him and acted blessed just to be allowed to relate O'Haire's vision to the masses. Someone a bit Brother Love-ish, maybe.
ReplyDeleteIIRC, Flair was pushed out because people were complaining about how he was booking himself.
ReplyDeleteI think it's based more on TNA being a horrible place to work if you're not a straight, white man, but it wouldn't shock me at all to learn that Christy is being booked as the victim of a deranged stalker/rapist because she had the nerve to talk about how she didn't like a man thrusting his cock in her face without her consent.
ReplyDeleteTry watching again, with Lashley's personality he may have cut a promo and caused you to zone out.
ReplyDeleteGirls don't like that? No wonder I was asked to leave Macdonalds before I got my Mcmuffin meal this morning.
ReplyDeleteDoes he talk about Bischoff firing him? I've always wanted to hear that story.
ReplyDeleteSo, was Al Perez not available? His work in Continental too lucrative? I remember watching Perez in WCCW when I was a kid and thought he was good, but he wouldn't have been a big enough star to pull this off. I can't believe if they really wanted him, he would have turned them down.
ReplyDeleteWorld Class brought in the Angel of Death with The Freebirds and had him attack the Von Erichs. I remember the announcers making a huge deal about of it and I kept asking the same thing. Who is this guy?
ReplyDeleteDidn't Perez have a fit about jobbing at the Sept. '90 Clash under the hood and he left as a result? It wouldn't help that most fans would have last seen him doing jobs at WWF house shows, though.
ReplyDeleteThe same could be said for Jacobs being Isaac Yankem and a Kevin Nash impersonator.
ReplyDeleteTrue and don't forget Unabomb. Not so much a bad gimmick as dumb name.
ReplyDeleteHe's always played that one so close to the vest..
ReplyDeleteGreat review! I wish they would of asked him why he always rocks back and forth while commentating. I figure it must be something he doesn't even realize he does or some sort of comforting thing.
ReplyDeleteWhat is the Aries incident?
ReplyDelete