This has nothing at all to do with the WWE.
After last week’s ending, will Jobber, Parallax, and Farva continue their alliance? Will the champion and Jef Vinson have to form an alliance of their own to fend off this trio?
With Payback less than two weeks away, what other matches will get added to the card.
With the Tag Team Division heating up, what will the GM have in store?
With the Tag Team Division heating up, what will the GM have in store?
Will Tommy Hall taunt another BoD Writer with his e-book money? What kind of fancy new purchase will he flaunt this week.
And, with the Midcard Mafia facing financial hardship, will they take the GM’s offer and park cars with Nebb28 under the supervision of BoD NXT call-up Archie Stackhouse? Or will they continue their fight against the GM?
Speaking of the midcard, what details will be revealed for the new secondary championship? And how will the champion be determined?
After last week, just how deep is The Unstable inside of Mar Solo’s head. Can anyone get them out? Will Dr. Farva need to be called to perform an operation?
And is Abeyance1 still racist? He probably is, folks
All this and a lot more on…………………………………….
BoD RAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We are less than two weeks away from BoD Payback. Tonight, GM Bayless will decide who is going to face the champion, Cultstatus, at the special event. Also, plans for the new singles Championship, the BoD Solid B+ Player Championship, are going to be revealed. And, who will challenge for the Tag Team and the Writer’s Championship.
GM Bayless comes down to the ring. He tells us that tonight will start off the eight-man tournament to crown the first ever BoD Solid B+ Player Champinoship. And here are the eight names:
WWF1987
YJ2310
Beard Money
Hart Killer 09
Joe Dust
DBSM
PrimeTime Ten
CabsPaintedYellow
Opening Round
BoD Solid B+ Player Championship Tournament
WWF 1987 vs. YJ2310
Wow, talk about a tough matchup. YJ2310 is in the midst of a really tough time as the former “Mr. Top 13” has been downgraded to #14. He is having a really bad year, folks. On the opposite end of the spectrum, WWF1987 has finally cracked the BoD Top 20 and ran off Caliber Winfield, a top guy from the BoD. Match starts with a lockup then switches to the mat. Yes, mat wrestling on the BoD. WWF1987 breaks that up with an eye rake and goes to work, giving YJ2310 almost as much of a beating as he did Caliber Winfield a few months ago. It’s what WWF1987 is known for and less embarrassing than being a diehard TNA fan I suppose. YJ2310 now mounts a comeback and is beating WWF1987 in the corner. He is fighting back and taking out all of those frustrations out on WWF1987. He places him up top but WWF1987 blocks a superplex and shoves YJ2310 to the mat. He waits for YJ2310 to get up and comes off the top with a crossbody that gets two. WWF1987 softens him up but YJ2310 ducks a clothesline and comes back with a flying forearm as both men are down. YJ2310 is up first and fires away. He is going to be back in the Top 13 in no time with effort like this. He whips WWF1987 into the corner but whiffs on a charge and WWF1987 rolls him up with his feet on the ropes for the win. Oh, man. The bad year for YJ2310 continues with this loss. I cannot believe how bad this has been for him.
Parallax, Officer Farva, and Jobber123 arrive through the secret and luxurious “Top 5” entrance. They toss their keys at special valet, BoD NXT callup Archie Stackhouse, as he is the most experienced valet left. Jobber then kicks Stackhouse in the ass as he bent over to pick up the keys and he falls. Stackhouse should just be thankful there wasn’t a wet towel around. After they laugh at the lowly valet, they seem to be discussing a plan of sorts as one of the BoD NXT Jabroni’s opens up the doors to the posh “Top 5” lounge. When they enter, they are greeted by GM Bayless. He says that since they are top 5 talent, he wanted to give them this message in person. Tonight, the number one contender match will take place and the winner faces Cultstatus at BoD Payback. It will be Jobber123 against Parallax. But there is more. Officer Farva and BoD Money on the Table Briefcase Holder, Jef Vinson, will also be in the match, making it a fatal four-way. As this is announced, a chair swivels around and it’s Jef Vinson himself! The other top 5 talent is pissed as they will have to go through hell in order to get this win.
Wade Michael Meltzer is live on location at Disney World as Abeyance1 has convinced the BrazilianKid’s family to avoid those pesky slopes (we hope he meant ski slopes but look at you we are talking about here) and take a trip to the happiest place on earth. Our camera’s recorded their conversation.
BrazilianKid: Disney World is fun.
Abeyance1: It is
BrazilianKid: I know
Abeyance1: Me too
BrazilianKid: What are you talking about?
Abeyance1: I am saying that Disney World is fun
BrazilianKid: I know it is
Abeyance: I know too
BrazilianKid: What are you talking about?
Abeyance1: I am saying that Disney World is fun
BrazilianKid: I know it is
Abeyance: I know too
BrazilianKid: Ok, Let’s go to Epcot Center and see all of the different cultures
Abeyance1: (nervous) uh, lets go ride Thunder Mountain before it breaks down
BrazilianKid: We can go to the rides later, let’s get cultured
Abeyance1: (getting increasingly anxious) Well, what countries do you want to visit?
BrazilianKid: The map here shows Mexico, Norway, and China. They are all in a row
Abeyance1: (even more anxious than before) Well......uh.....uh..........I heard that it is closed because the pipes got clogged with seaweed
BrazilianKid: (confused) I didnt hear that. Is it really closed.
Abeyance1 (angry) IT IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BrazilianKid: Why did you yell?
Abeyance1: I am sorry. Lets go to Thunder Mountain before the line gets too long.
BrazilianKid How about we go to Space Mountain like Ric Flair did
Abeyance1: Woooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!
(They both head off to Space Mountain)
Opening Round
BoD Solid B+ Player Championship Tournament
Beard Money vs. Hart Killer 09
OH MY!!!!!!! And Beard Money slaps hands with all of the kids at ringside and gives granny is favorite red bandana!!! HA HA HA HA. Hart Killer attacks our favorite hillbilly right as he enters the ring. He lays into him with a series of stomps. He now mocks Bret Hart's taunts then goes up top and misses an elbow drop. Beard Money gets up and hits a clothesline and follows that with a cartwheel. HA HA HA HA!!!!!! He crushes Hart Killer with a corner splash and does a second cartwheel and that means he is going for the bearhug. He whips Hart Killer against the ropes and catches him with a bearhug. Hart Killer looks on the verge of tapping out but PrimeTime Ten is now on the apron and apparently stole the red bandana from granny. Beard Money breaks the hold and goes after PrimeTime and chases him around the ring. Beard Money does not like stealing, folks. He runs around PrimeTime and gets counted out as Hart Killer advances to the semi-finals. Beard Money finally catches him and looks furious but from behind, Hart Killer whacks him in the back with a chair. He and PrimeTime are now destroying Beard Money until White Coat Security runs in to break things up. Beard Money is howling in pain as the BoD Medical Staff check on him. PrimeTime Ten and Hart Killer are now taunting the crowd. THEY DONE MESSED WITH A COUNTRY BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GM Bayless is in the ring. He tells Nebb28 to come out. Nebb28 comes out, wearing his parking vest, as the GM tells him that at BoD Payback, he will defeat him and win his pet rock. He says that the pet rock is a winner but it's owner, is barely a midcard talent and should be jerking the curtain. He says that since Nebb28 has not won anything in a while, he is going to give him a tune-up match. He tells Nebb28 that his opponent has been locked in the concession supply all day listening to nothing but Snickers commercials and that is...............Todd "Hoss" Lorenz!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT IS NOT A WARMUP MATCH. WILL THIS GM EVER STOP HARASSING THE MIDCARD?
Nebb28 vs. Todd "Hoss" Lorenz
Hoss is fucking pissed. He hates snickers. The concession stand workers have all retreated as Hoss storms down the aisle. He goes in the ring and backs Nebb28 into the corner. Nebb28 ducks away and tries to knock the big man down but he fails. Hoss catches Nebb28 and tosses him across the ring. Hoss throws Nebb28 over the ropes and next to GM Bayless, who stomps Nebb28 as he is done then rolls him back inside. Hoss drops an elbow then hits the chokeslam for the win. But Hoss is not finished as GM Bayless comes into the ring and he orders Hoss to inflict more damage. Hoss picks up a lifeless Nebb28 but wait a minute, the Midcard Mafia comes out from the crowd as Hoss and Bayless escape. The Midcarders help out their colleague asMagoonie Teddy Belmont grabs the mic. He tells Bayless that he and the rest of the Midcard Mafia will never, ever, wear a parking vest for him ever again. He then tells Bayless he has something to show him as the very inexpensive BoD Jumbotron shows a clip of the GM's car, which is heavily damaged. Bayless is out of his mind as Magoonie Teddy Belmont tells him that there was damaged caused by a runaway vehicle. Bayless grabs the mic and tells the Midcard Mafia that after he destroys Nebb28 and wins his Pet Rock, he will put all of his focus and energy on destroying the Midcard Mafia, starting one by one until Belmont is the last one left standing. The question has been answered, the Midcard Mafia will not be parking attendants but what will happen after Payback?
Wade Michael Meltzer is back live on location, this time at the famed "Cellular Twat" strip club in Florida. As Your Favourite Loser was in the VIP section making it rain, he told Meltzer the following:
Since winning the Win-a-Date Battle Royal, my life has changed. No longer am I a self-depricating pussy whining about life. I have confidence and with that it allows me to be my true self. I ooze machismo like I am Razor Ramon. Look at me now (surrounded by strippers, with two on his lap and a few behind him) I could never have made it this far if I had not won the Battle Royal. Notice the key word "won?" That means I did not lose and I am a loser no more. Now, I make it rain on these hoes here, there, and everywhere. Last Week, I was Your Favourite Loser but now I am my true self. I am............................BUCK NASTY. And at Payback, I will win again. On June 1st, 2014, the streak will continue (Buck Nasty ends by making it rain on the camera)
kbjone & John Petuka vs. Curtis Williams & theberzerker1
This is the debut of the Petuka & kbjone team, who are rumored to be called the "Upper Midcard Express." They are facing a veteran team of two solid hands in a match that could main event any "B" show across the BoD. Williams starts off against kbjone. They trade armbars until kbjone takes him down. He tags Petuka and he hits a suplex. The Upper Midcard Express are using quick tags to help isolate Williams. kbjone bounces off of the ropes but theberzerker1 knees him in the back and makes the tag. He chokes out kbjone with his foot until the referee breaks it up. kbjone is in trouble as he is getting double-teamed. Williams heads up top but misses a splash and both men are down. Williams makes the tag and shows does kbjone. Petuka is a house of fire. He takes out both of his opponents. kbjone is now up and they clear the ring of Williams. They are setting up theberzerker1 for something but Paul Meekin & White Thunder run in and attack the Upper Midcard Express for the DQ. Williams & theberzerker1 are up and making this a 4-2 attack but here comes the Tag Team Champions, Adam Curry & Kyle Warne, to even the score. The champs and the Upper Midcard Express clear the ring and briefly glance at each other before shaking hands. The Tag Team division continues to heat up.
Backstage, Mar Solo is speaking with MikeyMike2323. All of a sudden, the Unstable come into the locker room. The BoD Camera Crew caught their interaction:
Jesse Baker: Well, look who it is
Mar Solo: (looking bothered) yeah, what is your point
Jesse Baker: Why do you surround yourself with a false sense of security?
Mar Solo: What the fuck are you talking about?
Jesse Baker: You are going to pay for your sins
Mar Solo: Listen, I do not know what you are talking about
(Gideon Stargrave is cackling in the background hitting his face with a flyswatter as Steve Stennick is wearing is Rusev shirt)
Jesse Baker: I am the Reaper and I will put you down
Mar Solo (shrugs his shoulders then pushes Baker's face, causing him and the rest of the Unstable to fall like dominos) Sure thing, pal.
After watching that, it is clear that the Unstable are in Mar Solo's head, folks.
Tommy Hall is in the ring, sporting a Jeff Beukeboom throwback. He says that he has a problem. Hall says that he has too much money. Rumor backstage is that Hall brings his own food to the show and got a "pick Two" at Panera today, with both items from the "Signature" menu. Rich motherfucker. Hall said that he has been a writer on the BoD for a long time and that he wants one thing, the Writer's Championship. Hall then says that he respects Stranger in the Alps but he is going to give him an offer he cannot refuse tonight. Instead of saving him the embarrassment of losing the title, he will buy it off of him. Hall puts out his e-book currency, which is not legitimate, and tells Stranger that he will give him $400 and a $2 off a "Pick Two" that expires May 31st. Hall says that he expects an answer next week then does the point and home run swing before leaving. Stranger is on location at the BoD Meet & Greet today and not present for this speech.
Backstage, Joe Martinez is complaining about people making jokes about Special Events/PPVs. Worst in the World is busy typing a 46 paragraph post in response to a complaint that only exists in his own mind. Scotty Flamingo takes a roll of paper towels into the bathroom after he read a bunch of posts bashing Dave Meltzer. Steve Stennick is yelling at ARGHHH THE BARBARIAN, telling him that Adam Rose will be a huge star and that he is a stupid smark. Devin Harris is backstage getting FUN-KAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! Big Nasty 96 is gloating about his WWE Network predictions as Andy PG is attempting to defend his. Uh oh, Hoss comes barreling through the doors and yells that he needs to shake somedown down. He grabs Martinez by his clip-on tie then rips off his Jos A Bank discount rack suit before chokeslamming him on the floor. Hoss picks him up by the leg and shakes him down then walks off. All of a sudden, Laughing Sting arrives and gets in Martinez's face and yells "OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA" ONLY IN THE BoD, HAR HAR HAR
Number One Contender Match
Parallax1978 vs. Jobber123 vs. Officer Farva vs. Jef Vinson
Lets see what happens here. Jobber and Parallax face off as does Farva and Vinson then Parallax and Jobber break and go after Vinson. Its a 3 on 1 attack as Vinson is getting destroyed. Are they afraid of him cashing in his title shot? They drag Vinson outside of the ring and send him through a table with a triple powerbomb. They go back inside and now they try to get quick rollups on each other but that fails. Parallax catches Jobber with a clothesline and waves over Farva as they double-team Jobber. Parallax goes for the pin but Farva yanks him off as Parallax is pissed. I think Parallax expects Farva to soften Jobber up for him. Farva lets Parallax know that he is in this for the title, not to help him. As they argue, Jobber runs over and shoves Parallax through the ropes. He takes Farva and picks him up and drops him with a Helicopter Slam. Jobber goes for the cover but Vinson comes back and makes the save! He is battered and bloodied but still mustered enough strength to get up and break up the pin. Vinson gets up and slugs away at Jobber but Parallax tackles him from behind. He goes for the curb stomp but Jobber cradles Parallax and gets a nearfall after Farva broke up the pin. All four men now trade rollups as they keep on getting broken up. Vinson starts punching Parallax against the ropes and send him through the ropes with a right hook. Farva charges and Vinson backdrops him over the ropes and onto Parallax. Vinson turns his attention to a stunned Jobber. He backs him in the corner and places him up top and hits a hurricarana. Vinson rushes back up top but Farva shoves him off and Vinson crashes on the floor. Farva waits for Jobber to get up but Parallax cuts off Farva! He takes Farva down with a superplex. Parallax goes for the cover but Vinson slides him out of the ring and tosses him into the guardrail. Vinson tries to come back inside but Farva knees him in the face as he makes his way through the ropes. Farva yells at Vinson but turns around and Jobber kicks him in the gut then picks him for the Razor's Edge but Farva escapes. He charges at Jobber and ducks a clothesline but knocks Parallax off of the apron then Jobber uses the backstabber and picks him up and hits the Razor's Edge for the win and the shot for the title at BoD Payback. What a match. Cultstatus now appears with the belt on the stage and starts to laugh as he makes the "choke" sign to Jobber, even pointing at his Stephon Curry jersey afterwards. This feud never ended and will continue.
All feedback, criticism, ideas, or anger can be sent to BBayless781@gmail.com. Also, if this has disappointed your RSS Feed, send me your address for a complimentary Whitman's Sampler.
Matches for Payback:
Jobber123 vs. Cultstatus for the BoD Heavyweight Title
Nebb28 vs. Brian Bayless, winner gets Nebb28's Pet Rock
WWF 1987 vs. Hart Killer 09 in the BoD Solid B+ Player Championship Tournament Semifinal
BrazilianKid: The map here shows Mexico, Norway, and China. They are all in a row
Abeyance1: (even more anxious than before) Well......uh.....uh..........I heard that it is closed because the pipes got clogged with seaweed
BrazilianKid: (confused) I didnt hear that. Is it really closed.
Abeyance1 (angry) IT IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BrazilianKid: Why did you yell?
Abeyance1: I am sorry. Lets go to Thunder Mountain before the line gets too long.
BrazilianKid How about we go to Space Mountain like Ric Flair did
Abeyance1: Woooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!
(They both head off to Space Mountain)
Opening Round
BoD Solid B+ Player Championship Tournament
Beard Money vs. Hart Killer 09
OH MY!!!!!!! And Beard Money slaps hands with all of the kids at ringside and gives granny is favorite red bandana!!! HA HA HA HA. Hart Killer attacks our favorite hillbilly right as he enters the ring. He lays into him with a series of stomps. He now mocks Bret Hart's taunts then goes up top and misses an elbow drop. Beard Money gets up and hits a clothesline and follows that with a cartwheel. HA HA HA HA!!!!!! He crushes Hart Killer with a corner splash and does a second cartwheel and that means he is going for the bearhug. He whips Hart Killer against the ropes and catches him with a bearhug. Hart Killer looks on the verge of tapping out but PrimeTime Ten is now on the apron and apparently stole the red bandana from granny. Beard Money breaks the hold and goes after PrimeTime and chases him around the ring. Beard Money does not like stealing, folks. He runs around PrimeTime and gets counted out as Hart Killer advances to the semi-finals. Beard Money finally catches him and looks furious but from behind, Hart Killer whacks him in the back with a chair. He and PrimeTime are now destroying Beard Money until White Coat Security runs in to break things up. Beard Money is howling in pain as the BoD Medical Staff check on him. PrimeTime Ten and Hart Killer are now taunting the crowd. THEY DONE MESSED WITH A COUNTRY BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GM Bayless is in the ring. He tells Nebb28 to come out. Nebb28 comes out, wearing his parking vest, as the GM tells him that at BoD Payback, he will defeat him and win his pet rock. He says that the pet rock is a winner but it's owner, is barely a midcard talent and should be jerking the curtain. He says that since Nebb28 has not won anything in a while, he is going to give him a tune-up match. He tells Nebb28 that his opponent has been locked in the concession supply all day listening to nothing but Snickers commercials and that is...............Todd "Hoss" Lorenz!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT IS NOT A WARMUP MATCH. WILL THIS GM EVER STOP HARASSING THE MIDCARD?
Nebb28 vs. Todd "Hoss" Lorenz
Hoss is fucking pissed. He hates snickers. The concession stand workers have all retreated as Hoss storms down the aisle. He goes in the ring and backs Nebb28 into the corner. Nebb28 ducks away and tries to knock the big man down but he fails. Hoss catches Nebb28 and tosses him across the ring. Hoss throws Nebb28 over the ropes and next to GM Bayless, who stomps Nebb28 as he is done then rolls him back inside. Hoss drops an elbow then hits the chokeslam for the win. But Hoss is not finished as GM Bayless comes into the ring and he orders Hoss to inflict more damage. Hoss picks up a lifeless Nebb28 but wait a minute, the Midcard Mafia comes out from the crowd as Hoss and Bayless escape. The Midcarders help out their colleague as
Wade Michael Meltzer is back live on location, this time at the famed "Cellular Twat" strip club in Florida. As Your Favourite Loser was in the VIP section making it rain, he told Meltzer the following:
Since winning the Win-a-Date Battle Royal, my life has changed. No longer am I a self-depricating pussy whining about life. I have confidence and with that it allows me to be my true self. I ooze machismo like I am Razor Ramon. Look at me now (surrounded by strippers, with two on his lap and a few behind him) I could never have made it this far if I had not won the Battle Royal. Notice the key word "won?" That means I did not lose and I am a loser no more. Now, I make it rain on these hoes here, there, and everywhere. Last Week, I was Your Favourite Loser but now I am my true self. I am............................BUCK NASTY. And at Payback, I will win again. On June 1st, 2014, the streak will continue (Buck Nasty ends by making it rain on the camera)
kbjone & John Petuka vs. Curtis Williams & theberzerker1
This is the debut of the Petuka & kbjone team, who are rumored to be called the "Upper Midcard Express." They are facing a veteran team of two solid hands in a match that could main event any "B" show across the BoD. Williams starts off against kbjone. They trade armbars until kbjone takes him down. He tags Petuka and he hits a suplex. The Upper Midcard Express are using quick tags to help isolate Williams. kbjone bounces off of the ropes but theberzerker1 knees him in the back and makes the tag. He chokes out kbjone with his foot until the referee breaks it up. kbjone is in trouble as he is getting double-teamed. Williams heads up top but misses a splash and both men are down. Williams makes the tag and shows does kbjone. Petuka is a house of fire. He takes out both of his opponents. kbjone is now up and they clear the ring of Williams. They are setting up theberzerker1 for something but Paul Meekin & White Thunder run in and attack the Upper Midcard Express for the DQ. Williams & theberzerker1 are up and making this a 4-2 attack but here comes the Tag Team Champions, Adam Curry & Kyle Warne, to even the score. The champs and the Upper Midcard Express clear the ring and briefly glance at each other before shaking hands. The Tag Team division continues to heat up.
Backstage, Mar Solo is speaking with MikeyMike2323. All of a sudden, the Unstable come into the locker room. The BoD Camera Crew caught their interaction:
Jesse Baker: Well, look who it is
Mar Solo: (looking bothered) yeah, what is your point
Jesse Baker: Why do you surround yourself with a false sense of security?
Mar Solo: What the fuck are you talking about?
Jesse Baker: You are going to pay for your sins
Mar Solo: Listen, I do not know what you are talking about
(Gideon Stargrave is cackling in the background hitting his face with a flyswatter as Steve Stennick is wearing is Rusev shirt)
Jesse Baker: I am the Reaper and I will put you down
Mar Solo (shrugs his shoulders then pushes Baker's face, causing him and the rest of the Unstable to fall like dominos) Sure thing, pal.
After watching that, it is clear that the Unstable are in Mar Solo's head, folks.
Tommy Hall is in the ring, sporting a Jeff Beukeboom throwback. He says that he has a problem. Hall says that he has too much money. Rumor backstage is that Hall brings his own food to the show and got a "pick Two" at Panera today, with both items from the "Signature" menu. Rich motherfucker. Hall said that he has been a writer on the BoD for a long time and that he wants one thing, the Writer's Championship. Hall then says that he respects Stranger in the Alps but he is going to give him an offer he cannot refuse tonight. Instead of saving him the embarrassment of losing the title, he will buy it off of him. Hall puts out his e-book currency, which is not legitimate, and tells Stranger that he will give him $400 and a $2 off a "Pick Two" that expires May 31st. Hall says that he expects an answer next week then does the point and home run swing before leaving. Stranger is on location at the BoD Meet & Greet today and not present for this speech.
Backstage, Joe Martinez is complaining about people making jokes about Special Events/PPVs. Worst in the World is busy typing a 46 paragraph post in response to a complaint that only exists in his own mind. Scotty Flamingo takes a roll of paper towels into the bathroom after he read a bunch of posts bashing Dave Meltzer. Steve Stennick is yelling at ARGHHH THE BARBARIAN, telling him that Adam Rose will be a huge star and that he is a stupid smark. Devin Harris is backstage getting FUN-KAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! Big Nasty 96 is gloating about his WWE Network predictions as Andy PG is attempting to defend his. Uh oh, Hoss comes barreling through the doors and yells that he needs to shake somedown down. He grabs Martinez by his clip-on tie then rips off his Jos A Bank discount rack suit before chokeslamming him on the floor. Hoss picks him up by the leg and shakes him down then walks off. All of a sudden, Laughing Sting arrives and gets in Martinez's face and yells "OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA" ONLY IN THE BoD, HAR HAR HAR
Number One Contender Match
Parallax1978 vs. Jobber123 vs. Officer Farva vs. Jef Vinson
Lets see what happens here. Jobber and Parallax face off as does Farva and Vinson then Parallax and Jobber break and go after Vinson. Its a 3 on 1 attack as Vinson is getting destroyed. Are they afraid of him cashing in his title shot? They drag Vinson outside of the ring and send him through a table with a triple powerbomb. They go back inside and now they try to get quick rollups on each other but that fails. Parallax catches Jobber with a clothesline and waves over Farva as they double-team Jobber. Parallax goes for the pin but Farva yanks him off as Parallax is pissed. I think Parallax expects Farva to soften Jobber up for him. Farva lets Parallax know that he is in this for the title, not to help him. As they argue, Jobber runs over and shoves Parallax through the ropes. He takes Farva and picks him up and drops him with a Helicopter Slam. Jobber goes for the cover but Vinson comes back and makes the save! He is battered and bloodied but still mustered enough strength to get up and break up the pin. Vinson gets up and slugs away at Jobber but Parallax tackles him from behind. He goes for the curb stomp but Jobber cradles Parallax and gets a nearfall after Farva broke up the pin. All four men now trade rollups as they keep on getting broken up. Vinson starts punching Parallax against the ropes and send him through the ropes with a right hook. Farva charges and Vinson backdrops him over the ropes and onto Parallax. Vinson turns his attention to a stunned Jobber. He backs him in the corner and places him up top and hits a hurricarana. Vinson rushes back up top but Farva shoves him off and Vinson crashes on the floor. Farva waits for Jobber to get up but Parallax cuts off Farva! He takes Farva down with a superplex. Parallax goes for the cover but Vinson slides him out of the ring and tosses him into the guardrail. Vinson tries to come back inside but Farva knees him in the face as he makes his way through the ropes. Farva yells at Vinson but turns around and Jobber kicks him in the gut then picks him for the Razor's Edge but Farva escapes. He charges at Jobber and ducks a clothesline but knocks Parallax off of the apron then Jobber uses the backstabber and picks him up and hits the Razor's Edge for the win and the shot for the title at BoD Payback. What a match. Cultstatus now appears with the belt on the stage and starts to laugh as he makes the "choke" sign to Jobber, even pointing at his Stephon Curry jersey afterwards. This feud never ended and will continue.
All feedback, criticism, ideas, or anger can be sent to BBayless781@gmail.com. Also, if this has disappointed your RSS Feed, send me your address for a complimentary Whitman's Sampler.
Matches for Payback:
Jobber123 vs. Cultstatus for the BoD Heavyweight Title
Nebb28 vs. Brian Bayless, winner gets Nebb28's Pet Rock
WWF 1987 vs. Hart Killer 09 in the BoD Solid B+ Player Championship Tournament Semifinal
:nods head:
ReplyDeleteYes.
Awesome stuff as usual man, better than the actual RAW. I mean seriously, you have storylines going on throughout the mid card. Things happen for a reason and your building up new guys. Get this man a job with the WWE!
ReplyDeleteThey would call him a nerd for continuity on site.
ReplyDeleteGreat job Bayless.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
ReplyDeleteI tell stories and create wonderful personalities
I love that stable name The Unstable.
ReplyDeleteArchie Stackhouse is proud to be kicked in the ass by Jobber, a true champion. He'd like to know if Jobber would like another.
ReplyDeleteTommy Hall, on the other hand, is no champion. Monkeys flinging shit at the zoo create stronger narratives and metaphors than that Stephanie Meyer-wannabe. I'M COMING FOR YOU, HALL! YOU CAN'T DUCK ARCHIE STACKHOUSE FOREVER!
The youngster is hungry.
ReplyDeleteYou put you where who is suppose to be in the slope sentence.
ReplyDelete*The shaky $100 camcorder makes its triumphant return after a week long absence, panning to the same crappy Honda Civic seen in last week's segment. Its clear from the lack of car repair and the fine coat of dust on it that no one cares about its current shape and/or existence. That doesn't stop a guy with a Voorhees mask from suddenly appearing and taking out the drivers side window with what appears to be a change filled sock. The crash is loud and audible, but apparently no one in Detroit gives a damn, presumably being concerned with the business end of a crack pipe or a spouse's fist at the moment. The Voorhees guy turns to face the camera.*
ReplyDelete"Oh, I'm sorry about that Bayless, its just that I appear to be the only one concerned about paying anything off around here!"
*The voorhees masked guy then proceeds to bust out a screwdriver, heads into the open drivers window, and a short while later emerges with a car stereo. The stereo is placed on the hood as VoorheesMask goes up to the sunroof.......PICTURE PERFECT ELBOW DROP ON THE CAR STEREO~! THE CAR STEREO AND THE HOOD HAVE BEEN UTTERLY DESTROYED!*
"Vanilla Writer. Match. Soon."
*VoorheesMask then proceeds to hit the presumed cameraman in the Vienna sausage area with the loaded sock, and continues to beat on him until the blue screen saying NO SIGNAL appears.*
Oh yeah. You know what? I'm going for the ultimate - Tommy Hall, I'm NOT SHAKING YOUR HAND BACKSTAGE!
ReplyDeleteI want to use you post Payback. Gotta build you up a lot
ReplyDeleteThe General Manager Brian Bayless....The God of the BOD....At least so he thinks...He looks down on us from on high...Looking at us as if we were ants...And he thinks he has his magnifying glass right on us...Ready to burn us asunder....While he sits on high with his main eventers....But see Mr. General Mananger...YOU ARE NOT GOD!....But you'll be calling for him to help you soon enough...Because The Midcard Mafia has there own magnifying glass...And it's aimed straight at your head!
ReplyDeleteI need to encourage guys to cut promos in the comments for me to use the following week and in the future.
ReplyDeleteChilling promo.
ReplyDeleteYeah its all good regardless of what you decide to do, I'm just having a lot of fun writing these ridiculous promos. I imagine them to be like a cross between Pillman 9mm and pre-pedophilia Bray Wyatt.
ReplyDeleteAs for me, I'm always just happy to be on TV.
ReplyDelete*cough*youalreadywrotecaliberout*cough*
ReplyDeleteCaliber had a long, planned out feud that was ruined when he quit. I had to switch booking plans
ReplyDeleteWill he make a return?
ReplyDeleteThat would be a nice little addition to this whole thing.
ReplyDeleteAgreed.
ReplyDeleteFor obvious reasons you've been edited out of all the Asian markets.
ReplyDeleteI will be featured on the BoD network though.
ReplyDeleteGreat, my RSS feeds are all fucked up now.
ReplyDeleteTHANKS
Of course but with a disclaimer.
ReplyDeleteIs this a goof on the others complaining about it or are you serious?
ReplyDeleteYep, gonna have to Chris Benoit me.
ReplyDeleteSend your address to BBayless781@gmail.com for your free "Sorry I fucked up Your RSS Feed" Whitman's Sampler. Let me know if you have any allergies
ReplyDeleteI don't think I've ever been serious on this site!
ReplyDeleteWill the match be a pet Rock on a poll match?
ReplyDeleteShit, he gets a Whitmans Sampler and all I get is my dick in my hand? Typical Bayless!
ReplyDeleteNo. The pet rock is too valuable to hang from a pole
ReplyDeleteYou get scraps from Hoss's buffet table. MIDCARDER
ReplyDeleteExcept when I talk about Battlebowl.
ReplyDeleteSo Caliber=CM Punk? Seems about right.
ReplyDeleteHoss shouldn't eat that much. We don't want him to pull a Yokozuna.
ReplyDeleteBoth are petulant children.
ReplyDeleteI had to switch Summer booking plans.
ReplyDeleteI also lumped in the past two John Cena WM programs here tonight.
He's already at Yokozuna levels. And you don't want to make Hoss hungry. You won't like him when he's hungry.
ReplyDeleteThe Unstable fell like dominoes after a pie face. You could say they were... (puts on sunglasses) Unstable on their feet.
ReplyDeleteYEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Oh what's gonna happen, is he going to turn into the Bulk?
ReplyDeleteLittle-known fact - Caliber trained Archie Stackhouse. That's why he seeks vengeance on Tommy Hall.
ReplyDeleteWe an't gonna get fooled again...
ReplyDeleteThanks. Years ago when I was 13/14 I used to do the efed thing and I just kind of tapped into that from years ago.
ReplyDeleteThe Blob.
ReplyDeleteWell of course, Battlebowl is serious buisness. Super Serial!
ReplyDeleteSince this has gone up I've received numerous messages confiding in me that my match was the best of the night and I deserve to be the B+ Champion.
ReplyDeleteWWF 1987 isnt going to get away with cheating me out of my shot...
ReplyDeleteMr soon to be Top 13 again will guaran - damn - tee that HartKiller comes away with the victory next week as Im going to petition Bayless to allow me to be the ref in that match to ensure no cheating...
*Wipes blood off forehead and licks it"
ReplyDeleteYou...might think this would be discouraging to me. And indeed it is. But my anger will not be assuaged until you peons recognize and acknowledge my greatness.
I am the axis of of which this place spins. I yield more power than the other Top 5'ers...even more than Bayless. Ask yourself: How did I get into that title match? How did I get into the MitB briefcase match? How do I get to cut the lines at Six Flags? I run this bitch. The belt is just visual proof to you evolutionary U-turns that inhabit this board that are easily distracted by shiny objects of the golden rule: He who has the gold makes the rules.
My Pop tarts are done...later losers.
Ha.
ReplyDelete"Let me explain something to you, Tommy Hall. I'll use as many monosyllabic words as I can, lest you misunderstand. You don't know who I am, but I know who you are, Tommy Hall. I've seen your 'reviews', a term liberally applied to such appalling drek. They lined the walls of the Winfield dungeon where I trained.
ReplyDeleteTommy Hall, you think you can hide behind your money and power, but as the only man to survive The Winfield Dungeon, I'm here to tell you that you're living on borrowed time. Borrowed from Caliber, as a gift; a chance to get your affairs in order, to make sure your family is cared for.....before they have to care for you.
I don't know if you know how hard it is take care of an invalid, Tommy Hall. To take care of a man who can't walk, to wipe the drool off his chin, to read him stories since he can't turn the pages of a book with his useless, paralyzed hands, to wipe his ass when he soils himself.
I read every review you ever wrote, Tommy Hall. The words are tattooed inside my brain; every day, another Monday Nitro scrolls through my mind's eye. I am insane, Tommy Hall, have no doubts. Your writing has driven me to a place heretofore unseen this side of CRZ, and I like that place, Tommy Hall. It's a happy place for me, because I can see my vengeance on the horizon, and the view is BEAUTIFUL. A beautiful place of blood-red skies and blood-red Tommy Halls. It is bliss. It is... BOD Riverdale.
Don't underestimate me, Tommy Hall. I went through the hell that is BOD NXT to get here, and I'll park as many cars as I have to until I get my hands on you. Nothing will break me until you lie shattered and bleeding in front of me.
For Caliber.
I'm Archie Stackhouse, Tommy Hall. Welcome to Hell. Welcome.....to RIverdale."
It's a way for certain crowds to say 'Hey, we're not stupid, we know wrestling's fake. See?' I for one am already sick of it.
ReplyDelete:standing applause:
ReplyDeleteWRESTLING IS FAKE?!?!
ReplyDeleteAww, shit.
Oh, sorry. I, uh... I thought you knew...
ReplyDelete(runs)
Yeah... fake like A FOX!
ReplyDeleteLol.
ReplyDeleteThis.
ReplyDeleteI love that final line.
ReplyDeleteWTF is this?
ReplyDeleteMasterful.
ReplyDeleteYours as well, sir. Fuck you for cutting in line at Six Flags, though.
ReplyDeleteJust something to gum up the works for honest, hard-working RSS feed using folk. Damn shame, really.
ReplyDeletePerks of running this spot, my man.
ReplyDelete'sup, brahs?
ReplyDeletewait, could you speak up? i can't hear you over the sound of me keepin' muh pimp hand strong
shit, holmes
ReplyDeletei'm hardcore, i'll taken 'em both!!!
That abeyance/kid convo had me cracking me up. So funny Bayless.
ReplyDeleteI'm putting together design ideas for the BoD Solid B+ Player Championship. It's going to be a smaller variation of the World title belt:
ReplyDeletehttp://oi57.tinypic.com/309ltet.jpg
Any suggestions will be appreciated. I'm thinking about doing this on in a different color leather.
Stranger - I will be working on your "Paper Championship" belt as well. I'll have that one in a week or so.
"And is Abeyance1 still racist? He probably is, folks"
ReplyDeleteyo 'bey, muh boy!
don't be hatin' on that fine fine pearl of the orient. had some of the most DAYUM times of my life launching my own tet offensive
Just like Sin Cara, I made my debut without going to developmental. (Falls down flight of stairs)
ReplyDeleteAre you high?
ReplyDeletenah, brah
ReplyDeletei'm low
and only continuin' to... go down
awww yeah
No, you sound like you're high.
ReplyDeleteThe BoD Extreme Rules buy rate flopped worse than survivor series without me on the card. The front office begged me to comeback and work Payback. The phrase "Breathe life into cultstatus's dying title reign" was used.
ReplyDeleteI demanded Pompelmo sodas at my own catering table the hoss couldn't eat at (all vegetables) and a push for Zanatude.
look, don't be hatin' on me just cuz i just got me some like the playa i'm is!
ReplyDelete*Discreetly wipes away a tear* It's true.
ReplyDeleteNow, just for the record, Aric is not a hater.
ReplyDeleteAric is a player-hater.
Big difference.
aint no reason to hate me
ReplyDeletedid you not read the BoD raw? you best not be talkin' like that to a winner
no no, THE winner
Ha, I always expect one of the legends who's been out of the business for awhile and when they come back I expect them to make the "WWF" slip. I was hoping Warrior would do it when he was on Raw.
ReplyDeleteLet's just say "a winner".
ReplyDeleteIt's BoD Raw!
ReplyDeletelet's just say yer goin' home with yer dick in yer hand
ReplyDeleteNice, as for the leather color, I remember liking the white leather IC Title belt when I was a kid. That would probably clash with the actual belt here though.
ReplyDeleteA dick in the hand is better than two in the bush!
ReplyDeleteHey, wait a minute...
Just watched that Cinema Snob video, man that was terrible.
ReplyDeleteThe center plate is a big B +.
ReplyDeleteInstead he just had a coronary and DIED!
ReplyDeleteWhat a dummy.
We had the name Bark Reynolds lined up for you in BoD NXT
ReplyDeleteYou know, thinking about e-book money 24 hours a day, can make you a little goofy. I thought about how it would turn my life around if I had $400 and $2 off a Pick Two at Panera Bread. I could have a new bicycle in my garage, I could feed my family. Accepting the offer from Tommy Hall would make all this possible. I would never have to fight for anything again. Accepting this offer from Hall would change a few other things. All the Little Strangers that aren't as physically capable as me, I could help them out. All the Little Strangers that aren't mentally right on the money....I could help them out too. Oh yeah, accepting this offer from the e-book money man, would change my life completely. *takes off the BoD Writing Championship belt and holds it in my hands in front of me* Thinking about all that, thinking about all the Little Strangers, how easy it would be. On behalf of all the Little Strangers and myself, I'm going to have to tell Tommy Hall.......
ReplyDelete.......HELL NOOOOOOOO! Tommy Hall, if you want the BoD Writer's Championship title, COME.....AND GET IT!!!
This goes against every creative fiber in my being, but the running gags are still the best. Hoss, the Kid/Abeyance, the illegitimate currency from ebook profits...they're surefire laughs. The promos that have started to pop in the comments section are becoming an entertaining byproduct as well.
ReplyDeleteOf course, the debut of Laughing Sting makes it all worth it. Bring on the gimmicks!
But there's something fishy about this Buck Nasty/Favourite Loser story. We're missing a scene from last week. I hope JoeDustTV or something caught it.
And, finally, upper midcard express... Joltin' KBJone and Jumpin' John Petuka, maybe. Definitely need alliterative nicknames here.
I can give you Dan Selby with a tennis racket as a manager?
ReplyDelete"But there's something fishy about this Buck Nasty/Favourite Loser story.
ReplyDeleteWe're missing a scene from last week. I hope JoeDustTV or something
caught it."
blog is PG for the free site
poney up if you wanna see me in all my glory
Maybe Archie Stackhouse or CooltrainerBret, two of the best promo guys in this business
ReplyDeleteI was at this one and it was by far the worst the TV taping I've been to (and I'm old enough to have been to a three hour Ntiro taping). The WWE is paying a high price for Punk and Brian being off the road, but worse than that most of
ReplyDeletethe matches lacked any chemisty.
Part of the problem was sections of the
crowd trying to get themselves over rather than get into the matches.
Part of the problem is that for several matches either people did know
who to cheer for or didn't care enough about either of the workers. This
was made worse by the kind of taking it easy I expect at a WWE house show
at Butlins in Minehead, but not a Raw taping at the O2. Casaro not
doing the spin was just a big F-U to the audience who'd been calling for
it for half the match. The Rollins /Batista match didn't work at all
and everyone in the crowd knew the match itself was filler before the
brawl at the end.
If I was the WWE I'd be very worried that there were more
Punk t-shirts being worn than anyone else but Cena.
We definitely need some managers. Give the Love Matic Grampa a cane and a team. Aric Johnson's got some Heenan-like qualities. Selby IS from across the pond, an official Wimbledon cover for his racket might suit him. But if the Kid or Abeyance parlayed their humor into the managing realm, it would be gold. Imagine them doing talking for another team...but they're moving too quickly up the rankings.
ReplyDeleteThe dude reminds me of Jason Lee. After his role with the Wyatt family plays out, they could have him go face and do a My Name is Earl gimmick. He can have a list of all the people he wronged while he was a member of the Wyatts and try to make things right with each of them.
ReplyDeleteThis Abeyance/Braziliankid stuff is money.
ReplyDeleteThey need their own MST3K-type spin off where they share witty repartee while watching some anime.
Your Favourite Loser had the girls swoon over him at Chang O'Reilly's and chased them around outside with his pants around his ankles then woke up in bed with two do them and Buck Nasty was born
ReplyDeleteSee, that's what the recap says, but what I saw was two scared women running away in horr-ah (tm Vince), fleeing for their lives from a desperate man with his pants down.
ReplyDeleteThey were laughing and having a good time.
ReplyDeleteBuck Nasty is here to stay
BOOK ME ON THE GOD DAMN SHOW.
ReplyDeleteI AM THIS GENERATIONS GILLBURG
Also, Meet n Greet's are my thing. I love the BoD Universe, especially the Little Strangers in the Special Olympics. I sponsored this one kid named Mongo one year. He really opened my eyes to the needs of the retarded. He inspired me to design these cages, that families could use to carry their mentally-deficient loved ones on planes, trains and in automobiles. I donated the money I made from that project to the Youth-in-Asia Fund, which I believe is for the helping of Asian 'tards. I didn't really research it.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I love the people.
Are you a jam-up guy who is willing to do what is best for business? If so, let me know and I will invite you to the BoD NXT Developmental Program and rename you.........Deke Hurley
ReplyDeleteYou've created a monster. I refuse to answer any persistent interviewers asking about the penis sizes of other wrestlers in my shoot interview, I'll have you know, no matter how much Buck wants to show off.
ReplyDelete"Aric Johnson's got some Heenan-like qualities"
ReplyDeleteAre you saying I'm a drunk?
No.
ReplyDeleteYes.
No one had asked for the complimentary Whitman Sampler. I am shocked
ReplyDeleteHe's supposed to. His indy name was Brodie Lee for just that reason.
ReplyDeleteI'm fearing the order will get mixed up with the Waltman Sampler instead. I think we know what mystery chocolates are in that one.
ReplyDeleteYOU SAID IT WAS ALREADY IN THE MAIL!
ReplyDeleteMr. Downvoted is IN THA' HOUSE
ReplyDeleteTo show a token of my appreciation, I will add on a "Best of BoD Meltdowns" DVD
ReplyDeleteOH NO YOU DIDN'T
ReplyDeleteMongo went on to win a Super Bowl and join the Four Horsemen
ReplyDelete"Casaro not doing the spin was just a big F-U to the audience who'd been calling for it for half the match."
ReplyDeleteYeah, I know, right? It's like he doesn't want the fans to cheer him or something.
This comment is APROPOS... and I aint talkin' about diggin' in the dirt with no farm implements, baby!
ReplyDeleteYep, can't go wrong with the running jokes.
ReplyDeleteTwo problems with this:
ReplyDelete1) We should, when the day is done, hate Bray Wyatt. He is evil incarnate. He is a false prophet. The job now is to make us all feel like fools for following him... but if WWE does that, they emasculate Wyatt. So do you have him win? Well...
2) what's endgame? If the whole crowd turns on Cena, then the #1 and #2 faces -- in fact, the ONLY main event faces -- are Injured and Sabbatical. What's next?
What's next, you ask?
ReplyDeleteBATTLEBOWL and the concomitant WACKY TAG TEAMS!
BUT WHO'S SIDE IS HE ON?
ReplyDeletePeyton_Drinking: "DID YOU KNOW: ......... WWE.com wishes DID YOU KNOW guy well in his future endeavors."
ReplyDeleteThey aren't worried.
ReplyDeleteBecause they know he'll be back.
The problem is putting him against Cena. All heels get cheered against Cena and charismatic ones get their heel heat sapped away because people start to have too much fun cheering for him.
ReplyDeleteI get that Cena needed something to do and Wyatt had just beaten Daniel Bryan clean at the Rumble but you have to be smarter when you book that.
What is this horseshit? I don't ever get booked for Raw? I'm 1/2 of the tag champs, for fucks sake.
ReplyDeleteThe promos that have just "popped" up in the comments section...I started that! I was the first to do it! I was the originator! But once again, I'll be looked over because I'm just a midcarder! It'll be revealed that General Manager Bayless came up with that whole idea! It's sad really, that our great and soon to be late GM has to ape ideas from others just to get by in a pitiful existence he calls a life.
ReplyDeleteI assume all junk food is mine.
ReplyDeleteGoddamn snickers...
ReplyDeleteI do like being GM muscle. Damn midcarders.
ReplyDeleteFell asleep during the Batista vs Seth Rollins match, considering the Evolution/Shield feud is the number one program in the company that's a good indicator of my interest in the product right now.
ReplyDeletePost Wrestlemania blues are normal, but this period is probably the least interesting since sheesh off the top of my head probably 1995.
Yeah WWE completely screwed themselves up here. You have literally no good choice as champion. Cena would be awful, cause then he likely ends Wyatt's main event ambitions as we know it, and even if he jobs to Bryan a second time its not gonna work. Orton/Bryan was completely blown off, no two shits about it, because that WM match conclusively proved that, in kayfabe, Bryan>>>Orton, as Orton needed everyone and anyone to help him get victories while Bryan won after a previous match, with an injury, and after taking a devastating double team finish through a table.
ReplyDeletelolTrips, lolKane, lolBig Show. Lesnar would need a totally reworked contract, and frankly his whole arc is set up to end at WM31 anyways, so a close to year long title reign with a malcontent like Brock will never happen.
So its down to Bray, Cesaro, and a Shield member, all of which could turn out great, but are a complete throw of the dice. Wyatt's character is just completely off for this audience, even if they hit non-smark towns theres a good chance people swallow the Kool-Aid and like it, and Wyatt can't be a full-on face for obvious reasons. Cesaro would only work if he had a face to put him over like gangbusters, and frankly the only one qualified is sitting in a hospital bed wearing a neck brace, and of course the Shield, for all their marquee victories and big moments, might not be over enough, or in Reigns' case, talented enough. Rollins prolly isn't the right fit, and Ambrose still doesn't come off the right way as a face.
The funny thing is, they could've solved this by turning Cesaro face after the battle royale instead of teasing it, but they had no reason to do that because due to Bryan/Cena/Shield being ahead of him, he wouldn't have had a marquee feud and would basically be swinging every low-end heel. With Bryan injured, they could just put him over Orton and stuff to make him serious, but if they put him over Cena as a heel the crowd will make him a face, and he kinda does need Heyman for the later stuff with Brock. Just an all-around mess.
I will give WWE credit: The likely direction they had before Bryan's injury was good. Maybe not necessarily between WM and MitB, but from MitB to SS everything seemed like a good idea, simply based on the rumours and such, and the fact WM31 would likely set up Reigns getting his montage moment/Lesnar getting retired/Cena perhaps passing the torch/etc, but this just totally blew up in their face.
I'll provide context later if anyone is confused by this stream of consciousness rant.
"and I'm old enough to have been to a three hour Ntiro taping"
ReplyDeleteYeah, me too, went to a couple. The one good thing about being a cig smoker is that it gives you an excuse to walk away for a few minutes if you need to. Without smoke breaks during Prince Iueka matches and what not those shows would have been torture, at least without alcohol, and I'm not that old enough.
Predetermined or fixed, not fake.
ReplyDeleteI know you're joking, but non-fans calling it fake really irritates me.
I'm a fan, I'm allowed to call it fake!
ReplyDeleteFAAAAAAAKE
Remember when it looked REALLY fake? Main reason I can't watch shit from the 80's.
ReplyDeleteSpeak for yourself! I've loved 80s wrestling since, well, the 80s!
ReplyDeleteFuck now I feel super-old.
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid I have some BAD NEWS... this company has NO viable champions!
ReplyDeleteSee, I didn't start watching until 95. At 12 I was an old man as far as starting out goes.
ReplyDeleteWeird. I've been watching since I was three years old.
ReplyDeleteWith like, 15 years worth of breaks in between.
ReplyDeleteNO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
ReplyDelete/me screaming in the middle of the night, worried about more Alicia Fox on my TV
What they need is MOAR POWER AUGH AUGH AUGH!
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, they'll forget about this "angle" soon enough.
ReplyDeleteJust never really got into it, though I knew who all the major players were. Call my buddy up one Sunday night to see if he wants to play some street hockey, he says that he just ordered a wrestling PPV and I'm welcome to come by and watch. I tell him that wrestling isn't my thing, he tells me that there's a 30 man match, so I say fuck it and check it out. And here I am. Crazy that my first show was fucking RR95.
ReplyDeleteThis show needs more stunt grannies.
ReplyDeleteHoly crap, that's awesome.
ReplyDeleteDel Rio is my guy and everything, but I had a hard time watching his match tonight because he looked like a chubby naked guy. The almost-flesh-toned David Otunga extra-small trunks and no knee pads ... just wasn't a good look. ADR's never been all cut up, but tonight he looked like a wrestler from another decade.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I liked where they were going with his IC title promo. That's the kind of character development -- albeit small and surely forgotten by Smackdown -- and heel motivation he's needed for months. Other than his match with Daniel Bryan a couple weeks ago and the US title 4-way, lately it seems like he's mailing it in.
As the administrator of their forums and someone who has dealt with their writing staff, including one of them that plagiarized an Impact review from me once, that's not nearly a strong enough insult.
ReplyDeleteI cancelled my (UK) Sky Sports subscription this week, primarily because the football season's over, but it means I no longer have a series link to watch Raw. Can't help feeling that I picked a great time to stop watching.
ReplyDeleteWho doesn't like getting funky? No one, that's who!
ReplyDeleteIt's really messed up. Basically he has a face move set and the audience clearly wanted to cheer him, but (I think) he's supposed to be a heel. Mind you the audience were in a mode to mess about, there was a lot of cheering for Swagger and loads of people chanting we the people and singing alone to his theme.
ReplyDelete-Away on his honeymoon
ReplyDelete-Mourning the loss of his dad
-Recovering from neck surgery.
Rarely has a champ needed time off for so many different reasons, in such a short amount of time.
Bad show with a bad crowd. I'm glad to see the old rule that the hometown hero has to job in front of her fans is still in effect (sarcasm off).
ReplyDeleteAnd Dean Ambrose should be on commentary every damn week.
Haven't read any comments yet, but put the belt on HHH. Let him do the whole vanity champion thing them have Bryan go over him at Summerslam after claiming he never lost the belt.
ReplyDeleteThings would come full circle, as he was literally handed the World Heavyweight title by Bischoff in 2002.
ReplyDeleteIt's so easy. Have HHH beat down Bryan next week. Have the authority award HHH the title. Headline Summerslam with a returning Bryan, claiming he never lost the title, vs HHH. Would be great
ReplyDeleteHey, no need to explain... You had me at "Put the belt on HHH".
ReplyDeleteAnticipating the "HHH would never job to Bryan twice" contigent to appear
ReplyDeleteOr the "CM Punk is selfless and is acting as a martyr for all of his beloved fans, who he would do anything for!!"
ReplyDeleteThey will be fine. They are always fine. Even the period where they got Khali to win a battle royale to win the vacant title for a while. They were fine, they are fine, they always will be fine.
ReplyDeleteI have a bad feeling its gonna be steph vs brie for the title with Brie defending for bryan and steph challenging for hhh
ReplyDeleteDamn him for not using a spoiler tag.
ReplyDeleteDamn, now i have to watch it.
ReplyDeleteBam.
ReplyDeleteThat would be awesome just for the backlash and shit storm it would create
ReplyDeleteSee, I thought it was a great show, but I had a secret.
ReplyDeleteWhat I did was that I watched Sunday's episode of Game of Thrones first and by the time I tuned into the show, it was the Rollins match and it was all go from then on. I fully enjoyed myself!
What the WWE needs is more Moon Doors.
I hate the no-kneepad look
ReplyDeleteWhen Rusev debuted, the assumption was that they were building him up to be the monster of the month for Cena or Bryan. I don't think he'll last long enough to get there - they have to realize by now how dead the crowd is for his matches.
ReplyDeleteIt took Brock and UUUMMAAGGAA a few months also. It all depends, he could end up like one of those 2, or he could end up like Kozlov/Tensai. It's one extreme or the other.
ReplyDeleteWow, kinda forgot about Tensai. They actually had him pin Punk AND Cena and it still didn't work.
ReplyDeleteTo me, it's just Tensai's look. He's a big guy but he just doesn't seem intimidating. Rusev DOES have the look I think, so if they give him a sustained push, I think he at least has a small chance.
ReplyDeleteIt's easy to explain why Cena's the bad guy:
ReplyDeleteLOL CENA WINS. See: Bugs Bunny, Jerry Mouse.
See, pretty much every top babyface in the history of WWE/WWF/WWWF.
ReplyDeleteEVERYTHING IS FINE.
ReplyDeleteI know you mean it as a running joke, but... YEP!!!!!
ReplyDeletebut what if you would much rather like to see Kevin Steen (for example) as a babyface? the best way to get a company to turn someone is by not reacting "the right way".
ReplyDeleteand I am pretty sure that's the reason for some of those reactions. a lot of people want to get behind Cesaro. and a lot of people at yesterdays show wanted to get behind Barrett. I don't think it has too much to do with them trying to "prove" anything.
Stick Hogan or Bruno's old storylines in 2014, and they get booed in a year. (Both their feuds would get compressed, they'd go through so many heels people's heads would spin... and some of those heels would have a vocal following. I bet a Hansen or a Savage would get Wyatt-like responses now.)
ReplyDeleteYep, I do agree the times are totally different, I just still think it's unfair to blame Cena for being booked strong, when every other top face in the company's history have also been booked strong. He's actually done a very high amount of clean jobs compared to those other top guys.
ReplyDeleteNot that the match would be anything short of "overbooked all to hell with 1000 run-ins to cover for two workers who are mediocre at best", but at this point at least the two have a side issue. I could live with it. Evolution/Shield or Cena/Wyatt is main eventing anyway.
ReplyDeleteTensai's look wasn't the only problem. His past lack of credibility was also a factor in why he didn't work.
ReplyDeleteSee, that made the segment for me. Here you had a lower midcard heel stuck in job mode, and an unknown face who had yet to make physical contact with anyone, and the crowd ATE IT UP. That was awesome.
ReplyDeleteAre you doubting the street cred of the Hip Hop Hippo???
ReplyDeleteI... actually have no problem with that. It gives a logical reason why they don't just outright strip Bryan of the title for not defending it. It keeps Bryan in the story while he recovers, and watching HHH celebrate with the title after not having to break a sweat to win it would be awesome. Nuclear heat.
ReplyDeleteHHH is in another feud right now.
ReplyDeleteI was talking about the ones participating in it: you are right, there were always people who enjoyed watching others fighting or even slaughtering each other. that doesn't mean they have a high opinion of and respect for those competitors, though (maybe the best example of all: the "Bumfights" series).
ReplyDeleteA subscriber is a subscriber when they are paying money. When they aren't paying money they aren't counted
ReplyDeleteI think there's a reason that out of all the lines from that movie, "Show the me money" is the only that's sustained relevance in the last 18 years.
ReplyDelete