Skip to main content

The PG Era Rant: Raw, 5.26.14

When last we left our heroes, they lay in peace. Never Forget those who sacrificed on this Memorial Day.

The PG Era Rant for Raw, May 26, 2014.

Live from the University, Knoxville, TN. Please inform Rebel and Crazzy Steve they're in the wrong building.

Your hosts are Cole, King, and Bradshaw, with Josh, Book, and A-Ry on the pre-show.

Your Pre-Show Report:

SUPERSTARS MATCHES: Big E Langston vs. Titus O'Neil, Ryback/Axel vs. Truth/Woods
RAW PREVIEW: The Shield and Evolution sign contracts; Daniel Bryan makes a decision; Sheamus faces Alberto Del Rio

Also announced: Paige vs. Alicia Fox for Payback made official.

Memorial Day tribute video to open.

From there, we go to the arena with the Authority. Cole informs us that Daniel Bryan made the trip to Knoxville and is in the building. Stephanie calls tonight's show “historic” and she feels good about it. It's because tonight is about choices – such as Daniel Bryan's choice. Will he do the right thing and surrender his title? (Crowd chants YES; Stephanie: “That's right! It's the right thing to do!”) And Daniel Bryan knows it's the right thing because he's the people's champion. And the people want to see the champ active and competing. Daniel Bryan, right now, cannot do it. Stephanie, in the long run, didn't want to be right about Bryan being incapable of championing, but Bryan's body gave out on him. Stupid B+ body. So in spite of Bryan wanting to do the right thing – and Stephanie encourages a chant for Bryan, because she knows he wants to defend it and they want him to, but it can't happen. So tonight, Bryan will do what's right and vacate.

HHH says he's sure Bryan doesn't want to surrender, but he's incapable of competing. So hopefully he'll make the right choice. Speaking of choices, every generation has a performer who becomes a superstar. Some people, when they get there, burn out. Some become legends. Why? Because they stand the test of time. Every month, every year, every generation, they remain dominant because they can adapt. Those that don't (like Bryan) just perish. The ones that last live forever. That's Evolution. So this Sunday, at Payback, the Shield will find out that you cannot stop Evolution. But first, a contract signing tonight in the ring. And the Shield's choice is: adapt and not show up, or sign and perish.

Stephanie has an announcement about the Pay-Per-View, and she calls out Brad Maddox. Brad is slow to come out, and honestly, he looks a little nervous. HHH: “Come on, TV time is money, let's go.” HHH explains the problem: in Seth Rollins' match with Batista, no non-officials could be at ringside – and HHH and Orton were official somethings. But Maddox named Ambrose and Reigns as commentators, which isn't Best For Business. HHH asks Maddox to explain himself. Maddox says he didn't want it, but that he was forced to. Stephanie hushes down Brad and says she knows Brad felt like he didn't have a choice. Which is why the Authority also has no choice but to bring out Kane.

JBL: “If Brad Maddox has a choice right now, he'd leave Tennessee.”
Lawler: “Don't just stand there, run!”

He tries to, but runs into a HHH right hand. Kane stands over Maddox, kicking him to the ground. Stephanie is enjoying this. She orders Kane to teach him a lesson. Kane picks Maddox up and holds the goozle for a long time before chokeslamming Maddox. From there, it's a Tombstone. Kane sets off the pyro (slight delay there) as the Authority looks down at what's left of Maddox... but Stephanie has more to say. See, on top of that, Maddox is fired. So there. Stretcher comes out for Maddox as JBL says he almost feels sorry for Brad.

Later tonight: Daniel's Choice. Plus, Bray Wyatt has a message for the entire CeNation.

Note: if Brad Maddox doesn't do something on Sunday, they've missed an opportunity. Even if it's failed interference.

Bo Dallas wants you to change for the better! Bo-lieve! Tonight!

Antonio Cesaro v. Rob Van Dam. Given that these two are challengers for titles on Sunday, I'm not betting on a clean finish. If Brad Maddox were still GM, I'd bet on a tag team match erupting. But first, Bad News: it's the first day of summer. But that's not the bad news. The bad news is that we can't fit in our swimsuits because we're fat. Also, on Sunday, “your precious RVD” will have his Indian Summer end. Cesaro attacks RVD when the latter is staring at Barrett with stomps and a back suplex. Uppercuts, but RVD with a leg cradle for one. Spin kick by RVD and he lands right hands, but Cesaro turns it into a Karelin suplex. Running uppercut by Cesaro, then a forearm and another runner. Cesaro stomps away in the corner, then a boot choke. Blind charge hits elbow, and RVD with a flying kick and over-the-top clothesline. Apron moonsault try, but Cesaro catches and throws him into the barricade, twice, as we go to break.

Cesaro/RVD, part two. Cesaro gets two off of whatever, three times over, then a one. Military press slam gets two. To the chinlock, but RVD fights out into a slugfest. RVD with a spinkick to win it for a double KO. RVD crawls over for one. Back superkick by RVD, into Rolling Thunder, for two. Cesaro reverses a whip but hits elbow, and RVD with a flying flip senton for two. RVD gets a slingshot plancha, then superkicks Barrett – who was just on his way to leave, so he says – for good measure. Back in, RVD with a high kick from close quarters, and the split-legged moonsault for two. Uppercut by Cesaro, but RVD gets the stepover enzuigiri. He's going up, kicking Barrett again for good measure, but Cesaro catches him with a German suplex and bridge for the win at 9:33. **3/4 But before we go anywhere, Sheamus races to the ring and Brogue Kicks Cesaro into next week. Heyman's face is priceless. Sheamus then shakes Cesaro's hand to rub it in.

Later tonight: Bray Wyatt has something to say to what's left of John Cena's fans! Plus, Daniel Bryan has a tough decision to make! And, a contract gets signed – place your bets as to who eats table!

I say Seth Rollins. As for Cesaro/RVD – interesting that they give Cesaro a win here. I would've had a DQ finish, and matches like this are why you have them. But the ending makes me think Cesaro's the favorite.

Let's Rewind to SmackDown, where Summer Rae screwed over Eva Marie. Something something Total Divas.

Eva Marie v. Summer Rae. Eva Marie's on Maxim's Hot 100. We remind you that Summer Rae was back last week and attacked Layla. Eva slaps Summer to start, then stops Summer and pulls the “your shoe's untied” trick – and it works! She knocks down Summer and mocks her blowing kisses, but Summer reverses to the corner and kicks away. Hairpull slam (Eva oversold it, but why not) gets one. Summer throws Eva's head to the mat and taunts her. Three times. Crowd loves this match so much a Daniel Bryan chant breaks out. More mat slams... and here comes Fandango and Layla! Summer Rae is understandably angry at seeing Layla kiss Fandango onstage, which allows Eva the rollup for the pin at 1:56. Yay, it was under two minutes and I don't have to rate it! Summer Rae throws a fit after the match.

Backstage, Orton talks to Batista when the Rhodes Brothers show up and ask why they're not booked. They are issuing an open challenge to anyone on the roster. Batista tells them to get lost, and Orton reminds them that he got them both fired. Cody notes about how they beat the Shield – who in turn has Evolution's number. Orton congratulates them on their momentum. Cody calls them lapdogs... and finally HHH shows up. Cody directs his challenge to Orton and Batista, and HHH makes it happen. Orton's up for the workup. Batista hates the term “skinny-jeaned sellout” that Cody used.

So Eva Marie is stuck up on the show and has shown signs of heeling in the ring... Summer Rae makes everyone's life miserable... and Layla is hanging out with that stuck-up Fandango... who am I rooting for? Well, I'll root for Layla. Deal with it.

More Memorial Day tribute video stuff.

Drew McIntyre v. El Torito. Let's get this out of the way now: YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THE CHOSEN ONE! McIntyre shoves Torito from behind, and Torito draws the line in the sand in the ring. Each one encourages the other to cross, and Torito gets the better of it. A springboard is caught, but Torito reverses to an armdrag. A moonsault is caught and Drew slams Torito. Drew stalks Torito, but Torito lands on his feet only to get piefaced. Drew flings him into next week. Drew picks up Torito and points to Hornswoggle, then gets a stalling suplex into a fireman's carry. Drew climbs the ropes and tries a superplex, but the Matadors distract and there's a fight on the outside. Torito gores Drew's calf for the pin at 2:26... wait, what? 1/2* Hornswoggle attacks Torito from behind and tries to unmask him. Then he succeeds in yanking Torito's tail off his outfit. Torito runs around with a pain in the backside. This segment alone takes at least 2 points off of the final score.

Up next: Bray Wyatt to talk!

It was three years ago, Vince. Let it go. And yes, I'm certain that's it.

The de-tailing gets a replay and some Serious Voice from JBL and Cole. And we head back to the trainer as the Matadores beg him to re-attach the tail. El Torito's in pain.

He's here. We look back at last week, and we look forward to Payback. Of note: they cut two or three lines from the song, which makes the count seem shorter than it was. And Bray starts by leading another sing-along. He says the words are true – Bray has the whole world in his hands. The world leans on Bray because deep down, he wants what's best for everyone. The problem is that what's best isn't easy. Sacrifices must be made. We go to work and break our backs to keep the family fed, and we suffer while another man tells us who to be. But, when will you understand that it's all pointless? The poison is setting in, and the only way to cure a snakebite is anti-venom. So which one is Bray? Bray knows what his role is in this world: the necessary evil that the world needs. And in the end, if you're with Bray, you will stand by him; but if you're his enemy, you will fall. We all understand that Cena is an enemy to us all. But don't you worry, because on Sunday, he will be the last man standing (Bray, not Cena). But why should John be the only one punished? There's more to go around. “To get to the king, you must first go through the pawns.” (Crowd: CENA!)

And speaking of kings, may I have a word with Jerry Lawler? Well, Knoxville's close to Memphis. Lawler refuses. Bray: “How unfortunate.” And he sends Rowan and Harper to him. Will Lawler do it the easy way or the hard way? Bray just wants to talk – Cole, don't be a hero. You either, JBL. Rowan is leaning over Lawler. But JBL has had enough and goes to the ring, only to get intercepted by Harper. Rowan throws JBL into a discus lariat.

Now, look what you've done, Jerry. Just come on in.” Lawler very nervously heads to the ring, looking at Harper and Rowan the whole time. “C'mon, Jerry, I ain't got all day.” Cole points out Jerry is in no condition to be picked on. Crowd chants for Jerry. Cole hopes Lawler doesn't do something foolish. Bray even provides a chair for Lawler to sit in. Lawler nervously sits down. Bray just wants to ask a few questions. First: are he and Cena friends? Sure they are. And Lawler's helped Cena reach the top, right? How? By calling on commentary all the nonsense about what a great man Cena is. But never once did he question Cena's morality – just bought it, like everyone else. Lawler has fed the poison, and it's now out of control. So does Lawler feel guilty? Do you feel any remorse for destroying lines in his corrupt name? How does being a liar feel? And did you think you'd get away with it? So, for what happens next, Bray's sorry it had to be Jerry, but it's a necessary evil – as Harper and Rowan pick Lawler up. Bray with the INVERTED LOOK OF DOOM as Cole is freaking out on commentary...

and Cena RACES to the ring to make the save, but the numbers are too much for Cena, too. Bray has Lawler hostage as Harper and Rowan pick Cena up. Bray chokes Lawler with his boot and says that at Payback he will hurt Cena. He will end him then, but as for now? He wants Cena to watch Lawler fall, and it'll be on Cena's hands. Sister Abigail's Kiss is loaded up... but the Usos now make more than enough number and help Cena clear the ring once and for all. Lawler retreats to the table as the two sides face off.

Cena: “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!” Bray has crossed the line. When Bray first got here, Cena was excited to see him (Bray: “I'm a god!”). Bray was different and charismatic, making people listen. But does BRAY listen to himself? He called himself a god! Lincoln said that a test of a man's character is power, and power has made Bray sick. Look at what Bray just tried to do: attack an innocent man because he disagrees! That's not necessary evil, that's just plain evil. The crowd is almost unanimously behind Cena here. Almost. Cena believes in who he is and what he does. He believes that Bray must be stopped, and that's what he'll do at Payback. It's no longer about who wins, it's about being the last man standing. Bray has accused Cena of living a lie, but now he wants to punish the innocent? At Payback, there will be justice, Cena-style. Justice may be blind, but for Bray, payback will be a bitch. This segment gets the 2 points back. Lawler checks on JBL at ringside as Cena raises the Usos' hands in the ring and the Family retreat in the aisle.

Later tonight: Daniel Bryan has to decide if he'll vacate! Plus, contracts!

This. So much this. Why couldn't we have more of this? Finally, you've made it clear: Bray is a hypocrite and evil, and getting behind Cena – no matter what Wyatt says about change – is what has to happen. I loved it.

JBL has been taken to the back.

Zack Ryder v. Alexander Rusev. Ryder has the US flag for Memorial Day. Pre-match he gets cut off trying to speak on Memorial Day. Of note: I called this match before Rusev appeared. WWE is predictable. Note: one of my globetrotting friends says Lana speaks Russian like an Australian speaks Spanish. Say what you will about that. Lana says that if you don't go forward in compliance with Mother Russia, you will be disciplined. There is no choice, just the future. Rusev says stuff. TO THE MATCH, as Ryder sticks and moves and gets an opening flurry before getting smashed into the ropes. Rusev mounts and works the back of the head. It's already Rusev Crush time. Tapout comes at 39 seconds. But Rusev won't let go, so Big E Langston races in to do something about it... and he gets beaten up too. But Rusev charges into a clothesline, and Langston recovers to send him out of the ring. Langston waves the flag to fire up the crowd.

Backstage, Alberto Del Rio is talking to Stephanie McMahon about something.

Tonight, contract signing! I wonder if a brawl will break out.

If that's our Memorial Day play-up, it's weird. After all, you have a kayfabe VIETNAM VETERAN who likely lost friends in war. Why not have him play it up? Meh.

Another Memorial Day bumper.

Randy Orton and Batista v. Cody and Dustin Rhodes. Hey, I think there's a six-man on Sunday. Batista and Cody start, with Batista backing Cody into the corner and landing shoulder rams. Blind charge eats boot, and Cody drops an elbow. Batista with clubbing blows, but Cody with the sliding uppercut and Dustin's in. Batista backs Dustin into the corner, and Orton comes in to take over. Dustin hooks the ropes to stop a powerslam, and he gets an Oklahoma Roll and a slam of his own for two. Cody in off the top with a shot to the arm. Orton goes to the eyes and gets mounted punches, but Cody escapes and works Orton over in the corner. The ref has to separate them, allowing Orton a shot to the gut. Cody fires back, but gets caught in the gut with a knee. Orton with a big stomp and Batista's in. Batista chokes Cody on the bottom rope, and back in, he works the arm. Short clothesline gets one. Cody tries to fight back but gets caught with a back elbow. Batista tries an Oklahoma Slam, but Dustin tags in and lands shots on Batista. Kneeling uppercut, but Orton cuts Dustin off and Batista gets a spinebuster for two. Orton in as Dustin is dumped, and he hits the pose as we go to break.

This just in: the June 23 Raw will be in Washington DC and it will be the 1,100th Episode! Do I go?

Evolution/Brotherhood, part two. Batista has Dustin grounded and throws him into the ropes, getting a kidney punch. Batista drops his weight on Dustin, but Dustin stops another kidney punch and tries to fight back. Batista cuts off the tag and floors Dustin with a lariat for two. Dustin gets a springboard back elbow out of the corner, and the crowd is begging for the hot tag. HOT tag Cody, and he takes Orton down with the follow-on clothesline. Big kneelift and he goes to the apron, getting a springboard dropkick for two. Disaster Kick to Batista, and Orton is cut off on a blind charge, but the Disaster Kick lands into the RKO out of NOWHERE. A second RKO for good measure ends it at 10:07. Much better match when Batista wasn't in. BUT WAIT! It's actually an elimination match match, so we continue. Oh, and now it's No Holds Barred. So we resume – and I'm not counting the intermezzo in the timeframe. Orton and Batista surround Dustin, and despite Goldy's best effort it's a 2-on-1 mugging. Orton with the back suplex on the barricade. Batista throws Dustin into a barricade across the ring. Orton stands over Dustin and picks him up, and in the ring, it's the Draping DDT. But Dustin backdrops out only to turn around into a spear. Orton decides that's enough and gives Dustin an RKO. Batista wants the Batista Bomb, and Dustin eats it for the pin at 12:43. That next two minutes raised the match a bit. ***

Do you Bo-Lieve? You'd better, because he's next!

Now THAT'S more like it. There was definitely a shade or two of the Viper in that match. The more Orton goes psychotic, the better he is.

Sin Cara v. Bo Dallas. JBL has been released to ringside. He and Lawler shake hands and agree they'll never do that again. Dallas has the microphone and introduces himself. He says that Raw is the summit on the top of the mountain of his dreams. He's learned that we don't conquer the mountain, we conquer ourselves. All you have to do is Bo-Lieve! Lockup, and Dallas with a fireman's carry and he celebrates a little too much. As in, he high fives ringside. Cara catches him with a dropkick on the way in, then a plancha. Back in, Cara chops away in the corner, but Dallas with a Hammer Throw for two. Dallas with a suplex – that smile is so silly – and rolling kneedrops, but the third one is a handstand kneedrop. He celebrates himself again, then lands a back elbow. Cara cuts off a second one with calf kicks and an enzuigiri. Cara with chops and a moonsault press for two. Tajiri elbow follows, then the Angle Slam. Cara up top, but Dallas gets separation, and an alley-oop and tornado Bulldog wins it at 2:54. * Dallas almost looks surprised that he won. He does a victory lap around the ring, then returns and takes the mic to thank the crowd and his Bo-Lievers. But you don't get satisfaction from winning, you get it from effort. If you gave it your all, you're already a winner. Just Bo-Lieve! And he gives Cara a celebratory hug.

Up next, what will Bryan do?

I don't know if Bo Dallas has the talent to maintain this character, but they can push him all the way to the upper card just on how good he is at selling it. Seriously, this reminds me of Kurt Angle in his debut – the over-the-top celebrating, the victory laps, and so on. I loved it.

Your Main Event main event is the Usos facing Harper and Rowan in what appears to be a non-title match.

We look back at Brad Maddox getting beaten up and fired.

Stephanie is back. Earlier tonight, she and HHH said it was a night of choices. It's important to have an active WWE Champion... so let's cut to the chase: Daniel Bryan needs to do the right thing. It's time.

Daniel Bryan is wearing a neck brace on his way to the ring. He's in street clothes, but he has the gold. Stephanie offers a microphone and says she's glad to see him. It's a long road to recovery, right? And yeah, Stephanie could just strip Daniel of the title, but she doesn't want to martyr him. So Daniel needs to tell the fans why he must vacate, and that it's the right decision. They deserve an active champion. Epic matches. Unforgettable moments. Things Daniel can't do – he's not physically able. And Daniel's not selfish, so he'll do the right thing... for the fans, right? He needs to vacate.

Bryan says that becoming champ was the payoff to years of hard work. But Stephanie's right: the injury to his neck is worse than they thought. In no small part because of a man^H^H^Hdemon Stephanie can't control. Although tonight we saw better. Stephanie: “No one's lying about your condition.” Bryan agrees there's no shame in surrendering the title, healing, coming back, and regaining it...

Stephanie: “You're right, there is no shame.” She guarantees he will have the championship opportunity as soon as he's healthy.

Bryan really doesn't want to relive the last 8 months, as you can imagine. So there's no shame, because the fans deserve an awesome champion. But! But Stephanie wanted to put it on Bryan, and it's not about Bryan, but Stephanie. Stephanie has wanted to strip Bryan of the gold ever since Mania, when Bryan beat HHH. This isn't about the fans; Stephanie's doing it for Stephanie. And if Daniel vacated, it would negate everything he fought for and that the fans fought for. It would destroy the YES movement that began in defiance of the Authority. If they handed the titles over, it would be throwing it back in their face. So, the word from Daniel is one Stephanie doesn't hear often, or ever: NO.

NO! NO! A thousand times NO!

Stephanie says she was afraid of this. The people are messing with his brain, or maybe it's the injury. Stephanie didn't want to bring this up, but: two weeks ago, Brie put her hands on Stephanie. Now, Bryan didn't see it, so let's show everyone. Bryan approves of it... but you can't touch the boss. And she's both Brie's and Bryan's boss. Every action has consequences... so here's Daniel getting another chance to do it right. This Sunday, either Bryan surrenders the title, or Stephanie fires Brie. Stephanie walks off as the announcers yell at each other about whether any of this was justified.

Tonight, they sign a piece of paper!

Well, well... this is getting interesting, even if it means more Stephanie on your screen.

We look back to last Monday, when Alicia Fox upset Paige.

Alicia Fox v. Emma. They shot a few bubbles early during Fox's entrance. Whoops. Lockup goes nowhere, and Fox shoves Emma and tries a kick. Emma with a clothesline, but she goes into the corner. Blind charge misses, and Emma with the Tarantula and low corner splash. Fox refuses to be pulled out of the corner and walks off. But it's a ploy, as when Emma chases, Fox boots her hard in the head. Axe kick while Emma's draped on the apron follows, and back in, it gets two. Fox shoves Emma around and slaps her a bit in the corner. Emma responds with a slap of her own, and after a missed boot, Emma gets a cradle for the pin at 2:11. Fox is furious and cuts Emma off as she leaves, throwing her into the barricade. She tosses her back in, stomping away and getting the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. She tells off the ref and throws Emma out of the ring from the side suplex position. Alicia: “I don't lose, okay?” She heads to the announcers (who are not comfortable) and begins bullying around everyoneat ringside, ringing the bell over and over right in Lawler's ear. “I AM NOT A LOSER!” She slaps around some crew members as she leaves, even giving the trainer a wedgie and threatening a camereman She sprays soda into a crewman's face, and into a fan's, then does a Stone Cold salute on herself before throwing the cans at a crewman... and apologizing. 1/2*

Contract signing later! Adam Rose next!

Um... if you're going to give her a character and a push, would it hurt to give her wins?

John Cena narrates another Memorial Day bumper. This one played in the arena and got an ovation.

On the Payback Kickoff, we're getting a Mask vs. Hair match between Torito and Hornswoggle.

Damien Sandow (as Davy Crockett) v. Adam Rose. This began when Sandow was insulted because a crewman thought he was part of the Exotic Express in his wild frontier get-up. EUGENE IS DRESSED AS JOEY RYAN. YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID. JBL is cranky about the Entourage, which lets Lawler know he's back to 100%. Rose dances around the ring, but Sandow gets an armbar, which Rose somersaults out of ten times over. Sandow with a clubbing blow, but Rose holds Sandow away with bicycle kicking. Sandow charges and gets nailed anyway, and a shoulder block gets two. And now Zeb and Swagger arrive, harassing a member of Rose's entourage. The lemon, of course. Sandow tries a cradle and misses, and the Hennig Cutter gets the pin at 1:37. Swagger races in and beats up Rose. WE THE PEOPLE! Zeb Colter wants more punishment, but Swagger walks into a spinebuster and Rose goes into a brawl on Swagger. Rose keeps up the assault as Swagger tries to bail out. “Nobody touches my lemon!” The entourage is out to celebrate some more. On the good side, Zack Ryder is definitely not the rabbit. JBL is indignant.

Up next, it's Sheamus facing Alberto Del Rio! You remember that from the pre-show?

Darn it, I was hoping JBL would be gone for the whole show. When he's cranky, he runs over Cole and Lawler on commentary, and it's less fun.

Please explain why people watch Legends' House. Seriously.

Sheamus v. Alberto Del Rio. Wait, this just in: Sheamus v. Barrett will be on SmackDown. Lockup, and Del Rio forces Sheamus into the corner. Neither side gets a clean break, and evenutally Del Rio gets the better of it with kicks. Sheamus unloads with fierce rights, and after an awkward armdrag exchange, Sheamus gets the Finlay Roll for one. Sheamus goes up, and a second-rope kneedrop gets one. Del Rio retreats to the apron, and that just means it's Ten of Clubs time. Sheamus heads outside and sends Del Rio into the announcers' table, and back in, he's caught with a kick to the head. A second kick sends Sheamus to the outside as we go to break.

Sheamus/Del Rio, part two. Del Rio has Sheamus floored and applauds himself, then chokes away on the middle rope. (This is because Sheamus missed a Brogue Kick in the corner and got hit with a Backstabber.) Sheamus takes some rights and gets ticked, firing back. Irish Hammer connects, as does another, but a charge sends his shoulder into the post. Del Rio kicks Sheamus's head against the post, getting two. Del Rio punches and taunts Sheamus, which causes him to Hulk Up into the Irish Curse for two. Del Rio with an enzuigiri from his back, but a blind charge eats elbow and the Celtic Cross follows. Sheamus gets Del Rio in the corner, and an Oklahoma Slam is next coming out. Sheamus is ready for the Brogue Kick for real now, but he's disoriented and Del Rio gets the step-up enzuigiri. Low superkick follows for two. Armbar is escaped before it can be applied, and the Brogue Kick connects for the pin at 9:16. But Paul Heyman is your guest announcer and mocks him. And reminds us what Brock Lesnar did. Heyman keeps talking about how this Raw match has no meaning (not like Del Rio's a Paul Heyman Guy). And suddenly Sheamus turns to Heyman, allowing Cesaro to kick him in the back of the head. Cesaro with a series of mounted punches before officials pull him off. But he bursts through and continues the attack. Sheamus refuses to stop fighting, though, and Cesaro drives a knee into Sheamus's head and lands the Neutralizer. **1/4 Sheamus is being checked on by officials as Cesaro walks off triumphant.

Up next, our main event contract signing!

See, this is where Sheamus would be smart and state that he's not medically cleared for Payback, and well, he has 30 days so it looks like he's under no obligation to defend. Of course, Sheamus fights through everything, so that won't happen. Which means Cesaro will win, but Sheamus will have been injured and it won't mean as much. It's the little things that cut out a push.

Main event angle. With no Brad Maddox, Michael Cole is your host. The announcers have been hammering that this match at Payback is what they believe to be their final showdown. Cole leaves as Rollins takes the contract. Ambrose calls tonight historic, and even he says they won't be in the same ring after Sunday, because at Payback, one team will be eliminated, not just from the ring, but from the business. Reigns is tossing out all the chairs. Rollins says he doesn't buy the nonsense. It's gone past the 3-on-3 showdown signing a paper. Thus the clearing of the ring (which Ambrose helps in): it's time to get down to business. Rollins begins to look over the contract when Evolution emerges.

HHH wants to clarify what everyone's witnessing and what's about to be signed. When the contract is signed, it'll be the last time the Shield is in a Raw ring. Too bad, really. The Shield could've had it all. HHH can judge talent well – just look at Orton and Batista – and he looked at the Shield, and he remembered signing them to the WWE. He thought to himself at the time that they would change it all, that they were the future. But the Shield threw it away. And now, the irony: HHH is going to watch them sign the contract that ends their career. So, are they sure they want to do this? Do they really want to ensure that Sunday is the last we see of them?

Without responding to Evolution, first Rollins, them Ambrose, then Reigns sign the contract. Although Ambrose fumbles the pen as he does. Reigns then tosses the contract out of the ring at Evolution's feet. Now, it's Evolution's turn. First Orton, then Batista, then HHH. The crowd is hushed and waiting for the explosions. HHH says the Shield will be a statistic... and Reigns shushes him, saying enough talk, let's go.

Evolution gets onto the apron. The standoff is set. HHH smiles. And Evolution jumps back down... no they don't, here we go! It's Ambrose/HHH, Batista/Reigns, and Orton/Rollins, and neither side has an edge. Crowd declares this Awesome. Ambrose sends HHH flying out of the ring, then low bridges Orton. Rollins gets the 7-10 split with a flip plancha, but Ambrose is floored by Batista only for Batista to be Superpunched. Reigns wants his spear, but HHH emerges with the sledgehammer. Ambrose and Rollins go after HHH, but Orton RKOs Rollins to stop it. Batista spears Ambrose, and Evolution is standing tall. HHH winds it up and nails the sledge into Roman's neck. OUCH. A shot for Rollins and another for Ambrose follows as Batista and Orton clear the announcers' table. Reigns is picked up by HHH as the table is cleared. Triplebomb to Reigns (Batista delivers) sends him through the table. HHH and his hammer stand tall and soak in the booing as Orton smiles. A replay of all the insanity follows as JBL hammers home that everything, literally everything, is legal. Evolution mocks the Shield's pose – using the sledgehammer – as we go out.


Lots of go-home stuff on today's show, and that's perfectly acceptable. Only five matches as of now – plus one angle – but there's still SmackDown, and it's pretty clear there's a sixth match, perhaps a seventh will be coming up. I'm not sure who will be in it, but only six matches? I don't see it.

Anyway, this show was all about making you want to see Payback, and given the Cena/Bray and Evolution/Shield stuff, I think they've succeeded. Throw in the secondary title matches, and I think Payback will be a fun watch. I'll be viewing.


  1. El Torito defeats Hornswoggle and takes his hair.
  2. Antonio Cesaro defeats Sheamus to win the United States Championship.
  3. Adam Rose defeats Jack Swagger.
  4. Bad News Barrett retains against Rob Van Dam.
  5. The Total Divas – perhaps even E itself – refuses to allow Brie to be fired, and Daniel Bryan refuses to abdicate.
  6. John Cena defeats Bray Wyatt, but does so with the Benoit/Raven 1998 finish (Wyatt is knocked out but with a smile on his face – he unleashed the beast within Cena, even if he regretted it.)
  7. Paige retains against Alicia Fox by DQ.
  8. Shield defeat Evolution: Reigns pins Batista, Ambrose pins HHH, Orton pins Ambrose, Orton pins Rollins, Reigns pins Orton.


MATCH TIME: 43:18 over nine matches
BEST MATCH: Rhodes/Evolution
MVP OF THE NIGHT: Antonio Cesaro

FINAL SCORE: 5. Wasn't happy about the Divas and McIntyre getting beaten, but Cena/Wyatt and the brawl at the end keep it from being a purely boring show. Still, two segments do not a show make, and there was way too much that didn't work – the Fox temper tantrum lasted about three minutes longer than it should have, and JBL's digs on Adam Rose were annoying. So let's split the difference.

Matt, Tommy, and Scott are waiting in the wings! Brian, Logan, and Scott will go old-school! Get ready! See you Sunday! Start whining now!


  1. ARRRRGH THE BARBARIANMay 26, 2014 at 9:38 PM

    I still don't understand why I have to cheer for Cena. Bray was just going to take out overbearing announcers I don't like. I feel like he was trying to do a service.

    Segment was good, though, until the Usos showed up, they're way above their paygrade here.

    Most of the rest of the show was dogshit.

  2. "Zack Ryder is definitely not the rabbit"

    THIS week.

  3. Easily the worst Raw of all time. It was every single bad tendency that Vince has turned up to 11.

  4. AHAHAHAHAHAHA worst of all time? Puh-leeze. Were you watching in 1994?

  5. Even in 1994, the bad was only an hour long. This was just an onslaught of terrible ideas and horrible execution for 3 hours and 12 minutes.

  6. Thats 1 hour of hot garbage compared to 3 hours of hot garbage

    How is this even an arguement

  7. ARRRRGH THE BARBARIANMay 26, 2014 at 9:43 PM

    That 3rd hour was pretty 94 esque, they were just throwing ALL of the shit against the wall.

  8. 3 hours of divas matches, midgets, terrible gimmicks, bad crowd, no good matches, no good promos, nothing memorable and a "eh it was ok" brawl to end it by 6 guys who have done way better. Ad in all the usual bullshit and terrible announcing that is a given every week, and yes, this was the worst Raw of all time.

  9. I don't get why everyone here is calling this the worst Raw ever or something. Off the top of my head alone I can remember many, MANY worse Raw's than this one. 5 out of 10 sounds about right.

  10. Even if a Raw sucked in 1994, it was only 1 hour.

  11. Terrible gimicks is a bit subjective don't you think? And the crowd was OK.

  12. So to summarize what you and the others are saying: three hours = awful. Got it.


  14. ARRRRGH THE BARBARIANMay 26, 2014 at 9:46 PM

    Condensed to 2 hours, you might squeeze a 4 or 5 out of this. As is going to be said 100 times, it's the 3rd hour. This is the first full Raw I've watched since god knows when, and it made me want to die. I think this would have been a 25 minute job on DVR

  15. Stay out of this, Tony.

  16. And "no good promos" is a flat out lie.

  17. Hey, if anybody knows ANYTHING about bad, three hour live wrestling shows, it's Tony.

  18. Not what I wrote.

  19. Good heavens if it's that torturous why even bother watching live? Just YouTube or DVR.

  20. You are not following us. It was a horrible show that was 3 hours long. While the early RAW's were bad, atleast it was only an hour. But this was 3 hours of pure shit

  21. Come on man, it wasn't all bad.

  22. ARRRRGH THE BARBARIANMay 26, 2014 at 9:50 PM

    I just happened to be home. It won't happen again for awhile, unless there's another Monday holiday coming that I'm missing

  23. Ah gotcha. I've been in school for a bit so I've only been watching live for the past few weeks.

  24. I'll put it this way: the rating I give is subjective, as is the rating anyone would give. There were parts I enjoyed, parts I didn't. A lot of it I at least understood. Which puts it ahead of, say, the Raw where they put Daniel Bryan in the Wyatt Family.

  25. How DARE you have opinions of your own.


  26. There were only 6 matches at a 4-hour WrestleMania xxx, if memory serves. So this ratio isn't quite as bad

  27. kbwrestlingreviewsMay 26, 2014 at 9:55 PM

    It likely gets to seven with Summer Rae vs. Layla and Rusev vs. Big E. That, the Shield vs. Evolution match having multiple falls and the Bryan segment will be more than enough to fill in the time.

  28. kbwrestlingreviewsMay 26, 2014 at 9:55 PM

    Seven plus Hall of Fame.

  29. Seriously I just don't get where the immense hate is coming from, unless you're a hardcore Drew fan.

  30. kbwrestlingreviewsMay 26, 2014 at 9:56 PM

    I didn't think it was all that terrible. Cole saying Payback pay per view every eighteen seconds got old fast but it's nothing out of the ordinary.

  31. Weren't there reports of them dropping Rusev/Big E? What prompted that I wonder?

  32. kbwrestlingreviewsMay 26, 2014 at 9:59 PM

    WWE having no idea what they're doing past a week in advance save for the main event scene?

  33. Crowd was dead. And this show was like a graveyard of gimmicks.

  34. Adam Rose
    Bo Dallas

    No one cared about them tonight, or ever in some cases

  35. ARRRRGH THE BARBARIANMay 26, 2014 at 10:00 PM

    Funny you mentioned "3 minutes", because there probably were 7 or 8 spots where you could have called 3 minute warning in. I guess they're stretching it out because the roster is so thin. I mean Alicia Fox got a long segment, not a 15 second "fuck off" match and then her little tantrum. They just don't have a whole lot if they aren't going to put the Shield in the ring

  36. Would you rather they go back to the mid-2000's way of bringing up guys?

    And if you include Bo Dallas in the terrible gimmicks category YOU HAVE NO SOUL.

  37. You must have subjective hearing then, no offense.

  38. ARRRRGH THE BARBARIANMay 26, 2014 at 10:02 PM

    I think Bo Dallas is great, if not a blatant rip-off of Angle's original character, but the problem is if the crowd doesn't give a fuck, it won't work. I could see him getting some face heat in smarksville and no heat everywhere else. Just might be something that works in front of the small crowd that goes to every show.

  39. Kudos to them for trying to build up people and give TV time to other segments of their roster, but they've got years of rewiring of their crowd to do. They've spent forever telling us the undercard doesn't matter -- this goes all the way back to the Wars, even -- and now they need it to matter.

  40. He just got brought up, why are you expecting him to draw immediate molten heat? And the crowd did react to him tonight.

  41. He has had vignetttes since Mania though. That alone should give you some reaction when you come out

  42. ARRRRGH THE BARBARIANMay 26, 2014 at 10:05 PM

    A character like that kinda needs the molten heat. That's what made Bo Dallas work in NXT, the crowd completely loathed him.

  43. If he keeps up the overblown act, he'll get heel heat. The celebration over the opening takedown, the Tebowing, the victory lap... everything about him right down to his smile has that punch-me-in-the-face quality.

  44. At the most, tonight's show was bad. Saying it was any better than that means you have terrible taste in wrestling.


  46. Its a little too forced and that wont work with WWE crowds.

  47. He got one, but it wasn't much. The problem is that his vignettes didn't make clear which side of the divide he falls on, and VERY few people watch NXT and know he's a smarmy heel. Hes going to have to show that over the next few weeks.

  48. Yeah, but at least there wasn't a terrible horror movie angle!

  49. He got some mild cheers when he said welcome to Monday Night RAW and from the 5 kids he slapped hands with.

    Three people I saw in the front clapped when he won.

  50. Stranger in the AlpsMay 26, 2014 at 10:14 PM

    Worst RAW since the Benoit tribute.

    Actually, let me re-watch the Benoit tribute to wipe out the bad taste that tonight's show left.

  51. Tebowing in 2014 is midcard all the way.

  52. ARRRRGH THE BARBARIANMay 26, 2014 at 10:16 PM

    I think if they did it the same way they did in NXT, it would catch. But the problem is that they treat NXT as canon now, so you can't debut him as a babyface and just let the crowd naturally loathe his very existence.

  53. If they let Rose keep the stuff he did in NXT, he would have had a much better chance at getting over. He is almost a joke already. The crowds do not give a fuck about this guy and why should they? They watered down his act to the point there is nothing at all enjoyable about it

  54. ARRRRGH THE BARBARIANMay 26, 2014 at 10:20 PM

    That character is just bound to have alot of problems because they tour, instead of doing all of their shows in one location in front of 200 of the same 500 people all the time.

    It's worth a shot, but I'm not sure why it's going to be over in any "traditional" wrestling market that they like to run. He won't even get FOAD heat that'd at least let you make him a heel. All you need to know is Swagger got massive face heat for ending that mess... and then he caught a beatdown

  55. He could have gotten over the "party time" catchphrase but they just have him come out with his posse and by that alone, we should cheer the guy and sing along? The WWE does not think much of their fans if that is true

  56. I haven't watched a ton of RAWs since like 2011, but this was the worst RAW I remember since the Nexus episode (which was saved by the craziness at the end).

  57. You know the show is flat out bad when the only highlight was that poor guy getting a wedgie.

  58. It was a bad show. I dont know about the worst ever but it sucked

    The midget stuff
    A played out Cena/Wyatt feud
    Evil foreigners vs. USA in 2014
    Adam Rose
    Eva Marie
    Alicia Fox segment lasting forever
    World Title storyline is nothing special after weeks of build

  59. I just don't think one dumb segment takes down a whole show. Bray's promo, the ending segment, Bo being awesome, Cesaro beating the piss out of Sheamus, and the Rhodes tag match were all good IMO. But to each there own.

  60. What you mean the World title angle because of the injury? It just started. We don't even know what they'll do yet.

  61. They have been hyping an announcement for two weeks and they made it about his wife. I mean, the situation isnt their fault but involving Brie is something no one wants to see.

    The real problem is the glaring lack of depth on the roster and the fact they never capitalized on guys who came out of Mania looking good. Cesaro was getting cheered almost more than anyone before Mania but now, basically just another guy in the crowd.

    And the direction of the company? Right now, it is stuck in neutral. These recent NXT callups have not shown much potential in the WWE, crowd reactions aside

  62. Alicia Fox will be the only thing I remember about this show.

  63. I'll remember the feed cutting out at the end and actually feeling relieved.

  64. TJ: The Pacers have somehow done the impossible and managed to get the general public rooting for the Heat. I've never seen a team be so completely unable to hold themselves accountable.

  65. That's the thing.

    They constantly remind us, either blatantly or subtly, how only a few guys matter. Makes it tough for someone to get over but at the same time, look at the recent call-ups:

    Emma- character is awful and DOA
    Rusev- they are trying but who knows as evil foreign heel is passe
    Rose- a flop of massive proportions so far
    Paige- looks like she is about to have an anxiety attack everytime she appears on TV. If she cannot get that under control, she will not amount too much
    Dallas- Tries but the gimmick is too forced and he is Tebowing three years too late.

  66. It was so bad I forgot RVD wrestled in the opener!

  67. Too bad it happened at the end and not after the first hour.

  68. Did somebody say THREE MINUTES?

  69. The problem is that Bray's promos never actually lead to anything. I'll agree that the Bo gimmick has potential, but they had him wrestle Sin Cara AGAIN when they just faced off on Smackdown! They should've let him squash another guy.

    Cesaro beating up Sheamus was just awkward to me and didn't come across well on TV and the tag match was fine, but not earth shattering. Especially because it didn't lead to anything.

  70. ARRRRGH THE BARBARIANMay 26, 2014 at 11:03 PM

    Well, if they keep bombing, it'll be a clear path for Kevin Steen, wait, I mean Jimmy Buford, to make it up to the roster.

  71. Cesaro beating up Sheamus looked really awkward

  72. Joel Balfour?

  73. 'Cos you're just toooooooooooooooooooo fruity!

  74. Someone mentioned elsewhere in this thread that they treat NXT as canon. I don't think that's the issue -- it's that they treat NXT as infinitely accessible. I could only see it on the WWE Network... which, as we know, less than a million people get. As a result, someone like Bo Dallas doesn't seem like a face or heel yet because we don't know the background. Emma's just a doofus as opposed to a doofus who is secretly a good wrestler, because she never gets to show she's a good wrestler on RAW and no one has seen it on NXT. I could go on.

  75. I like NXT because it's booked logically and, at only an hour, doesn't have time for bullshit. Feels like an old time wrestling show updated.

    These things do not translate to RAW.

    PS Cena's segment was totally badass.

  76. Can we thank Christly?

  77. TheMainGuyTheBestGuyMay 26, 2014 at 11:44 PM

    Knoxville is nowhere near Memphis.

  78. Lose half a billion.....

  79. Employees don't know how they're getting paid......

  80. Fatty Fat Fat Fat.

    To quote Scott Steiner: HE'S FAT!

  81. I have to agree. The Title thing is stale. How many announcements do you need?

    - 1st Announcement of the status was that the status was up in the air.
    - 2nd Announcement of the status was that the status would be determined next week.
    - 3rd Announcement was that the status would be determined at Payback.

    Jesus H. Balding Christ on a raft, how long do you stretch this out?

  82. Just like to point out:

    - After the Torito-Swaggle thing with the tail, immediate follow-up after break AND a recap. PLUS, a follow-up match on Payback with a plug.

    - After the Daniel Bryan title thingee with Steph, no follow-up or recap or, really, any sort of plug for the decision at Payback except for the After-Show.

    Kinda shows you where the priorities are with this company.

  83. so the rumors are saying they might do a MITB match to determine a new champion and a regular MITB match to cash in.

    I say have Brock win the title one and Cesaro the MITB.

  84. If they've only got 5-6 matches ready for the "special", then I'll wager that Evolution/Shield, Cena/Bray or both are going to go long, which is a good thing that will separate the Raws from the - ahem - "specials"; short matches on TV, and through the Network or PPV you actually get a fleshed out product.

    It's been said over and over, but how in the fuck is anyone supposed to sit through three hours a week and get nothing but short matches that don't advance anything? It's a shame because generally speaking, WWE's PPVs range from decent to good, and those are the only WWE things I "acquire".

  85. This Raw reminded me the same of what Raw reminded me this time last year, and the year before that and before that... it's hit the post Wrestlemania blues, and WWE won't become interesting again until around Summerslam. Think it's time to condense Raw into 15 minutes on DVR instead of watching live until then.

  86. "So Eva Marie is stuck up on the show and has shown signs of heeling in the ring... Summer Rae makes everyone's life miserable... and Layla is hanging out with that stuck-up Fandango... who am I rooting for?"
    Eva Marie is supposed to be a "babyface" on Total Divas now, ever since she bonded with the rest of the girls during the trip to Cabo and teamed up with them against Summer Rae, who is the "heel" because nobody likes her. Brie even uninvited Summer to the wedding because she's DRAMA.
    Why wouldn't they book Usos vs. Harper/Rowan for the tag team titles at Payback? I really can't think of a good reason why it's not on the card.
    Having the Usos win wouldn't make the Wyatts look weak, because the Usos have been established as a strong team and you can always play the angle that the Wyatts were somewhat lost out there without Bray coaching them. (Bray won't be there because he's getting ready for the match with Cena.)

  87. I don't understand why they've taken to cutting so many entrances short. For every wrestler/diva that has a match that night, if you show their full entrance instead of giving half of them jobber entrances or coming back from the commercial halfway through entrances, they'd buy themselves back at least a few minutes and not have to try so hard to fill those with writing.

  88. you are totally forgetting some of those horrible guest host Raws there.

  89. Nice try, but WWE is not quite TNA yet. I think they will indeed be fine, just a crazy hunch.

  90. Good call on the Kurt Angle comparison with Bo Dallas. I AM A BO-LIEVER!!

  91. Because they are the reverse Tony Schivaones. Every single Raw is officially the "Worst Raw Ever".

  92. I appreciate your effort, but it is hopeless. You will never get anyone here to admit anything good can happen on Raw.

  93. They were about to attack a guy in his mid-60's who had a heart attack less than 2 years ago. Let's say that was a tad on the "evil" side.

  94. I think you mean TeBOing.

  95. The crowd in the UK was way into his act. The crowd singing his music, enticing The Party to dance during Zeb's promo, was great. I just wish the TN crowd would have played along.

  96. The crowd in the UK ALWAYS plays along.

    I don't understand why WWE doesn't hold off debuting new characters until they're in a smark town, which they do once every 6-8 weeks or so. You immediately make the new guy seem like a bigger deal because he'll get a reaction.

  97. They're wrestling ability is quite different though.

  98. Only match important looking forward to isbthr main event. Nothing else will really matter after this show is over Sunday.

  99. Right, because Bo Dallas was super over last night.

  100. Cm Punk is standing behind you with an empty glass. DUCK!!

  101. *sigh*... Again with the "If it's not an Austin/Rock reaction within 2 weeks of his debut, he sucks".

    People here are legit the most impatient fans on the planet.

  102. I love reading these threads only to see cult and a couple of others go full on Comic Book Guy (worst episode ev-er!) vs Andy and johntcole who seem to be contractually obligated to give no lower than a 5 rating to any piece of crap that they put out (there was 7 minutes of not bad to decent content in this 3 hour broadcast, that's pretty good!)

  103. After weeks of vignettes, no one gave a shit. Never a good sign.

    "Again with the "If it's not an Austin/Rock reaction within 2 weeks of his debut, he sucks".

    You are missing the point. No one on the roster even comes close to a Rock/Austin reaction anyway so going to the other extreme is just as stupid.

    Look, this show sucked and looking at the new NXT guys, why should anyone care about them. At least they are trying to build up Rusev in a logical manner but evil foreigner heel in 2014 is going to be tough to pull off if they want him to get near the top of the card.

  104. Funny, because everyone saying this was a good show is not providing any examples why

  105. So, they try to construct an angle to continue Bryan's fighting the power character when he has a broken neck and can't wrestle...and it gets bitched about. I guess they should have just stripped the title from him straight away, right?

  106. Which would have made Daniel look like a pussy according to them. Buried either way!

  107. Look, I'm not saying this was a good show. But I was entertained by the following:

    Bray Wyatt going full evil
    The Shield drawing the line on Evolution
    Bo Dallas
    Alicia Fox has a character (even if they made that segment too long)
    The build to Bryan's Choice at Payback
    Ten minute matches of Cesaro/RVD, Rhodes/Evolution, and Sheamus/ADR

    There were things to like.

  108. To me, it takes AT LEAST 3-4 months to know for sure. Brock in 2002 and UUMMAAGGAAA in 2006 are good examples, it definitely took them a while to really get a good reaction. To make these judgements after a few weeks is absurd in my opinion.

    So to used the tried and tested catchphrase, "THEY'RE TELLING STOR..." Wait, I mean "LET'S PLAY IT OUT AND SEE WHERE IT GOES!" yep, that's the one!

  109. Compared to 1994's Tatanka vs Double J, and 4 squash matches, I'd say yesterday's show was pretty solid.

  110. Looking at Adam Rose, I think it is safe to say that he is about to be a flop. They screwed up his debut and its been downhill from there.

    Bo tries hard but the character feels too forced. I dont see this going high up the card but who knows.

    They need new guys to step up but its going to be tough. Another factor that Andy touched upon was how they have generally done a bad job getting the fans to care about anyone other than the main event and when they try to get behind a new act and the crowd doesnt take to it, they deem it a failure. That is their own fault. Make it a point to tell the crowd a guy is a joke and they will treat him like one.

  111. Bray attacked Lawler but then pandered to the fans with a promo about your boss not appreciating their work then conducting a sing-along. I mean, he is cutting face promos out there.

    Shield/Evolution was alright.

    Bo Dallas wasnt bad either but I dont see this character going anywhere.

    Fox is at least entertaining but like you said, it went too ling.

    Bryan's choice is a bit intriguing and Steph was great in her role

    Those matches you mentioned are all average. RVD is not a big deal anymore and ADR/Sheamus has happened way too many times. Rhodes vs. Evolution was fine.

    I am not calling this the worst RAW ever, 2003 had some of those, but this sucked and worst of all, the company doesnt seem to have a direction, logical wrestling angles are not carried out by the current creative staff, and they have no depth at the top of the card. And, when this was over, did it make you want to see Payback?

  112. Sounds like you are going out of your way to try to hate the show. So obviously you're gonna think it sucks with that attitude. Guess there is zero way to make you change your mind.

  113. Whoever came up with the Poutine name for Steen was a genius.

  114. This was three horrible RAWs in 1994 condensed into one show. At least back then I could be done with almost a month of programming. Now? I have to sit through the equivalent of over two months programming just to make it through three weeks of RAW.

    RAW 1994 > RAW 2014

  115. pretty sure that even the Bo Dallas squash win was a better match than the Tatanka/Crush lumberjack match was in 1994 (which was the only non-jobber match on the show). To say it's the same as three 1994 Raws is just absurd and delusional.

    What a spoiled generation of wrestling "fans".

  116. Eh, I'll fully admit I tend to be too positive at times. It comes from being dispassionate so often that when something makes me happy, I overrate it. Bo Dallas made me happy, for example.

  117. The guy has the most punchable face in history, and I say this as a major compliment. BO-LIEVE!!

  118. I am not. I am giving the reasons for my opinion of why I disliked the show.

    Since you liked the show, how was it good? Let's back up our opinion

  119. I didnt hate him, I just dont see the gimmick going anywhere.

  120. I lived through both. I'm reliving 1994 RAW in chronological order now. It's not as awful as people think even when accounting for what Scott may say. You generally have one long match, which is or isn't good, but the same could be said for just about any ADR match on RAW, followed by two to three quick squash matches. ADR/Sheamus was any basic RAW main event from '94. The match was boring, unnecessarily long and served no purpose beyond having two "stars" fight. The thing about '94 RAW? It goes by fast.

    My point? They're both bad. But I don't have to watch three episodes piled on top of each other to make it through one sitting. I'm not saying this is the worst RAW ever, just that 1994 was slightly more tolerable because of the brevity.

  121. Andy summed it up nicely a while ago. Matches were solid, the Wyatt thing crossed a new line of "Evil", Shield/Evolution got advanced, Daniel is still fighting the power, LANA (no further explanation needed), all of those things were perfectly fine. I simply do not expect a Wrestlemania 17 type show on every single FREE episode of Raw. I enjoy the little things.

  122. Not liking this show does not mean I expect every show to be like WM 17. I dont know how you come up with this bullshit.

  123. If you didnt like this RAW, you hate everything and expect every debut to get a Rock/Austin reaction and expect every show to be like WM 17. It's the Vince Jordan way of thinking.

  124. "And, when this was over, did it make you want to see Payback?"

    No more or less than I already did, but that's me. They HAVE my money -- I'm not the target.

    The best part about the Bray/Lawler segment was what it did for Cena and JBL. Cena is at his best when he drops the act, drops the pandering, and shows he has a Hulk side. He's been Banner for too long, so when it comes out it's a big deal. Meanwhile, for all the crap JBL gives his commentator brethren, just having him take the beating on Lawler's behalf showed he still, in his own strange way, gave a damn about them. It's a start, and hopefully it'll lead to something down the line, because when JBL drops the heel act and is full analyst, he's one of the best.

  125. Pretty much, yep. Because this show was perfectly fine, especially before a "B" PPV.

  126. Because your expectations are clearly at an absurdly and unreachably high level. Since apparently, every Raw except the one after WM sucks. WWE gives tons of good stuff, and it just apparently sucks, and it's just not good enough.

  127. They are not. Some logical storylines and decent matches are what I am asking for. The matches part they deliver and besides Shield/Evolution, where is the logical storylines that are so great? Bryan' injury threw a wrench in plans but I am not asking for much and last night's show sucked. I cant be the only one who thinks that and this isnt the only place on the internet that thinks that and judging by the crowd last night, they seemed to think it sucked too.

    So, you can pretend that it is just me or this blog being negative as they sole reason as to why we disliked this show and continue your contrarian posts all day long.

  128. The commentary team seems to be told what to say at all times so I do not expect JBL to be like he was when he did Smackdown with Cole after he retired from the ring.

  129. Compared to 2 horrible Divas matches, more midget comedy bullshit, shitty promos, more terrible matches.

    You're comparing a shit sandwich to a shit sandwich.

    Now would you rather have a shit sandwich that takes one hour to eat or one that takes you THREE HOuRS to eat?

  130. (thinks it over...) Normally, I'd agree with this logic. But once you add the part where he's a shadow of his former self, and one-third of the weakest announce table since the dying days of WCW...

    Retire, Jerry.

  131. lol, I give up. But you should seriously consider stopping watching, as you will be miserable 99.9% of the time.

    And last comment, totally disagreeing with you does not automatically make one a contrarian.

  132. You forgot Vince Jordan on the side of "good RAW", where ANY criticism means you despise the product and don't deserve to bask in it's holy glory.

  133. I am not miserable watching RAW. Just thought tonight's show sucked. The past few weeks have been pretty weak as a whole too. Lack of star power will do that.

    Your body of work on this blog makes you a contrarian.

  134. His logic is that if you do not love every segment, then you shouldnt bother watching the show

  135. Hey, I enjoyed the show, but I enjoyed it for how very bad it was.

  136. You know Andy, I always find the positives in stuff too.

  137. Such stupid priorities.

  138. Vince. Last night had moments that reeked of Vince.

  139. Now you know it's bad.

  140. Time to just put him down, let Hunter take over.

  141. He's starting to make DOUGIE look "tolerant" of criticism. I knew it was possible, but it's still a scary thought.

  142. Worst_in_the_WorldMay 27, 2014 at 8:56 AM

    So does the Bryan/Steph segment suggest that he's gonna hold onto the title afterall and be able to defend it at the June 29 PPV? The way they've dragged this out would make stripping him of the belt seem pretty anti-climatic at this point. Hopefully WWE has just been working the sheets and his injury isn't actually as bad as they've let on.

    Anyways--- loved the entire Bray/Cena segment. Good to see Bray show off his hypocrisy and a mean streak. And sign me up as a fan of Bray's little bro--- thought Bo Dallas was great. Dude sells the gimmick to the moon, and it's gonna be fun to see the bigtime babyfaces go after him.

    Think Cesaro is progressing nicely. I'd bet the Cesaro/Sheamus match kicks all kinds of ass, and that Cesaro wins the belt.

    Why isn't Alicia Fox winning matches? Holy shit her new character is awesome. I say put the title on her and let Paige chase for awhile.

    And I liked The Shield/Evolution segment. Nothing amazing, but solid and logical and made me look forward to their match Sunday. (Think Shield goes over, maybe in a sweep.)

    Could do without the midget segment, Zack Ryder, Adam Rose, and Alberto Del Rio, but I liked the other stuff fine enough.

  143. No, I don't care about the "power character" deal. I was just pointing out how long they've taken to drag out a single storyline.

  144. Thank you -- and not just because we agree, but because you said it more articulately than I have been able to.

  145. Worst_in_the_WorldMay 27, 2014 at 9:07 AM

    Yeah, I guess my very unoriginal thought is that Raw is typically a good 2-hour (ok, maybe 90-minute) show stretched out to 3 hours. Sucks that there's so much filler, but luckily we live in the DVR age. I guess I've been enjoying the Wyatts, Cesaro/Heyman, Shield/Evolution, and now Bo Dallas and Alicia Fox more than most here. And I accept the last few weeks of the Bryan situation as being "it is what it is" because of the injury.

    Again on the Bryan situation, I take the lack of progress as a "good sign", in that the plan might be to stretch things out and let Bryan actually keep & defend the title.

  146. Worst_in_the_WorldMay 27, 2014 at 9:08 AM

    Also, this would be a great time for Bad News Barrett--- or Cesaro if he wins the US title on Sunday--- to declare himself the #1 champion in WWE while Bryan is on the shelf. Would be a great way to get heat on a heel champ, and elevate the secondary title.

  147. And this is where the Authority hurts business a little. Much as it would be great to have Barrett or Cesaro declare himself the top contender, you know HHH and Stephanie would veto it, explain in painstaking detail that they're vetoing it, and then install Kane or HHH as the top contender instead. And the midcard heel can do nothing about it.

  148. Okay, so this just popped into my head: Alicia Fox's character is that she takes winning and losing too seriously and makes a spectacle of herself. Clearly, this is someone who places too much value on external factors and not enough on her own talent. Maybe she needs a life coach? Someone that can help her bo-lieve in her own abilities? Discuss.

  149. Somebody call her mama?

  150. Worst_in_the_WorldMay 27, 2014 at 9:17 AM

    Yup, it's been said a million times but heel authority figures just have to go. It just cuts the balls off the entire heel side of the roster that nobody can ever be more evil than the owners/GMs. They've done a great job of keeping the Wyatts (and Brock) out of that realm but yeah--- for someone like Barrett there's an artificial limit on how heelish they can be. No matter what Bad News does, in the end he always will have to cower before Steph.

  151. Was it me, or did it seem like everyone was making sure to say "Pay-Per-View" a lot? Instead of "Blah blah blah for our match at Payback..." it was "Blah blah blah for our match at the Payback pay-per-view"

  152. I think you should seriously consider quit posting here, as you rarely add anything to a discussion beyond taunting people for not liking the same thing you do.

  153. Maybe she just needs some d!ck. I find that is usually the answer.

  154. That's exactly where I want to put my investment dollars!!! Into something that is "going to be fine" GOOD CALL!

  155. Well, it's like this: Steph has the power to strip him of the title and obviously doesn't give a shit. She doesn't want to do it because that would make the fans mad -- but she'll fire Brie, which will make the fans mad.

    They could either make him champ or NOT make him champ. Why is it taking three weeks to decide this and why are we making this part of the Payback when it could have been resolved two weeks ago?

  156. I can't even buy Bo Dallas squashing anyone. They had to reduce Sin Cara to Lazy Mode for it to work.

  157. It wasn't just "one dumb segment".

    - Brad Maddox who is, apparently, still around as a "Raw GM", something I didn't even know still existed since Triple H and Steph rule everything.

    - Kane, coming back from, like, nowhere to do the job on Maddox.

    - The Torito bullshit.

    - Alicia Fox's huge temper tantrum which lasted longer than both Diva matches combined.

    - The stupid Fandango bit again during the Diva match

    - Both Diva Matches

    - Rusev squash #74 - though finally giving him Big E to play with is a plus.

    - Bo Dallas's third "debut" and second debut against the same opponent.

    - Adam Rose.

    - Davy Crockett.

    - The fact that Rose doesn't wrestle for shit against lightweights like Sandow but only turns on Hulk Mode when he's pissed off so, essentially, it's like they hired Narcis Prince from Super Punchout.

    I'm not even sure I should go on...

  158. Why are you 1) even posting in this shit thread 2)arguing with a troll? Bayless "Vince Jordan" already either agrees with you and is just trolling or he hates all wrestling and is just fucking with fans online

  159. I got sucked in today for some reason

  160. I have no problem fighting with trolls but don't use logic with him and expect anymore than the shit responses you got. I decided to try and avoid this particular thread for various reasons, and WWE apologists treating Vince Jordan like a real poster is one of them. Save your logic for Scotts thread or your Tuesday updates.


Post a Comment