The SmarK Rant for Monday Night RAW – 04.26.94
Taped from Utica, NY
Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Randy Savage. Reading Dave Meltzer’s hatred of Savage on color in the Observers from this time is kind of funny, as he just buries Savage’s commentary job and calls him the worst of all-time.
Razor Ramon v. Jeff Jarrett
Vince was JUST talking about how Ramon is putting the title up here, and then it’s announced as non-title. Not that it matters much given that he had already lost the title weeks earlier, but geez. Also, this weekend, Ramon puts the title on the line against Diesel on Superstars, and in fact loses it there. Ramon flicks his toothpick at JJ, which Savage notes isn’t such a good idea because it’s the 90s and sharing toothpicks is dangerous. Especially from Scott Hall. Jarrett works on the arm, but gets caught in the blockbuster slam and bails. Back in, Ramon slugs away and Vince is all MIXING IT UP IN A ROUGHHOUSE FASHION. I wonder if he wooed Linda with those words of passion? Jarrett gets a back elbow to take over and drops a fist for two. Savage is still having flashbacks to the Double Feature earlier in the match. Jarrett with the chinlock and he cuts off a ccomeback as we take a break. Back with a sunset flip from Razor that gets two, but Jarrett jumps on him with a sleeper. Ramon fights out of that and makes the comeback with his fisticuffsmanship, but Jarrett tosses him and it’s the highest praise Vince can bestow, the See-Saw Matchup. Shawn comes down to further taunt Ramon and gets his ass beat, and Ramon makes the comeback on Jarrett in the ring. Shawn gets involved again and gets beat up again to the delight of Vince, but now Diesel runs in for the DQ at 13:40 and the beatdown commences while Jarrett disappears back to Nashville. Jarrett had his working boots on tonight. ***1/4
Bam Bam Bigelow v. Tony DeVito
Bigelow beats on him and chokes away while we get a rare phone interview with Jack Tunney, who announces that next week will see the tag title match all the kids have been clamoring for. Bigelow quickly finishes with the enzuigiri at 2:00.
The Heavenly Bodies v. John Paul & Jason Headings
The Bodies double-team John Paul as Vince claims that last week’s RAW was the highest rated episode of the show. Also, Mr. Perfect no-showed a match with Luger, and so he’s been fired. So there you go. According to the WON from the time, he needed foot surgery but quit anyway. The Steiners also quit at this point, as did the Quebecers. Rough week for Titan. Headings comes in with some dropkicks on Dr. Tom, but he walks into a Veg-O-Matic and gets tormented in the heel corner. More double-teams on Headings and Del Ray finishes with a moonsault at 5:00.
The King’s Court with Nikolai Volkoff, who is now broke, although not so broke that he can’t afford front row tickets to RAW weeks on end.
1-2-3 Kid v. Duane Gill
The clash of future light heavyweight champions! Gill actually attacks and gets a clothesline to take over, then tosses Kid. Kid comes back in with a springboard clothesline and throws kicks in the corner, but then finishes with a leg lariat at 3:08.
Meanwhile, at a deli in Noo Yawk, some guy tells us about how Undertaker came in and ordered a sandwich.
Owen Hart v. Rich Myers
I recall Myers usually being billed as Sonny Myers for some reason. Owen slaps him around and catches him with a boot out of the corner, and a dropkick. Gut wrench suplex and we hit the chinlock as Vince pays his respects to Richard Nixon. Yeah, he would. Sharpshooter finishes at 3:21.
Captain Lou and Johnny Polo get into an argument to end the show, with Randy Savage stepping in on behalf of Albano.
Next week: Finally the goddamned Quebecers v. Headshrinkers match so they’ll shut the hell up about it already!
Weird TV schedule I noticed as a kid: Razor worked a feature on the superstars preceeding this Raw (non-title win against Adam Bomb), worked the feature with Double J, then worked the feature with Diesel the same week on the next Superstars. Just seemed weird, since they were usually good about changing it up.
ReplyDeleteMeltzer also hated Gorilla Monsoon, so I don't particularly rate his opinions of announcers.
ReplyDeletehttp://abload.de/img/2jg84sk3gk4r.jpg
ReplyDeleteFanmade color version. Has a very Dark Knight Returns feel to it. Minus the blue cape and cowl of course.
but now Diesel runs in for the DQ at 13:40 and the beatdown commences while Jarrett disappears back to Nashville.
ReplyDeleteI always hated how someone would run in and beat up the babyface and the heel working the match would leave. Why wouldn't you help with the beatdown? Seems like such an easy heat generator.
Did anyone ever catch UT out in public pre-attitude era? I just want to know if he was living the gimmick.
Looks sick. Can't wait!
ReplyDeleteI was dreading the Headshrinkers/Quebecers match because I knew where it was headed and was heartbroken when my boys lost the titles. And then they vanished, making things even worse. They popped back up on the Countdown to the Crowning special, jobbing to the Headshrinkers again but that would be it, sadly.
ReplyDeleteDuggan ...is a little tightly wound...when it comes to Atlas.
ReplyDeleteThe Quebecers, the Steiners, and Mr. Perfect all quit in the same week? Damn. So, Perfect never wrestled for WWF again, right? Or am I forgetting a run he had?
ReplyDeleteHe had a brief return in 2002 that ended when he got into a fight with Brock Lesnar on an airplane and then died less than one year later.
ReplyDeleteSame dude. He also played a priest that got caned by The Sandman on a 2006 episode of WWECW which was unintentionally hilarious because he said with a straight face that he had never watched ECW before, so apparently WWE thought the ECW audience had never heard of Da Baldies.
ReplyDeleteAlso in 96 before he bolted for WCW.
ReplyDeleteFuck Meltzer, Savage was awesome.
ReplyDeleteBoo! Get out of here with your anti-Affleck views!
ReplyDeleteProbably money.
ReplyDeleteHe didn't wrestle, though (in 96). Vince wanted him to, and then the whole "pay me more than what I would get out of my insurance policy/you're a liar/fuck you, I'm going to WCW now to spite you" drama happened in November.
ReplyDeleteJacques wanted to retire. He unretired in 1996, then retired again in 98.
ReplyDeleteYeah, but he was involved in a major storyline so technically I'm counting it.
ReplyDeletePerfect made an awesome return at the Rumble in 2002 where he reached the final 4 and then was let go about 3-4 months later after 'The Plane Ride From Hell' out of the UK. I think I may have seen him on that tour.
ReplyDeleteIf Affleck can prove the doubters wrong I am all for it but ... I have my doubts.
ReplyDeleteHe was definitely not the same in the ring and his personal problems were obvious. Wasn't he completely shit faced at No Way Out, hosting from WWF New York?
ReplyDeleteTo be fair, I think every wrestler that had to host from that place was drunk.
ReplyDeleteWell the doubters are a minority so he probably doesn't have to.
ReplyDeleteA few weeks later he had what could generously be called a bad match with Austin in a Raw Main Event that was completely buried on commentary. After that, he just kind of put people over on Heat. I won't lie and say I didn't like him coming back: Perfect making a "one last run" at the IC Title or something would've been cool.
ReplyDeleteI don't remember the Austin match. I remember the great return at Rumble, and he a cool match with Big Show. Also remember the return of the vignettes where he would cheat. Everything else is a blur.
ReplyDeleteI loved Macho on commentary too but looking back, man, there were so many guys that he could have been working with during those years. It would have been perfect for someone as selfless as Macho in the twilight of his career to give some younger guys the rub. Bret, Shawn, Luger, Razor, Owen, Bam Bam, Nash...all could have benefited from being in the ring with Savage.
ReplyDeleteMacho was the awesome. You know who wasnt, and scared me to death? Macho Midget.
ReplyDeletePeople were saying the same shit about Ledger a couple years ago.
ReplyDeleteReferencing the quitting of a bunch of people, I remember the WWF hyping the "Mania Revenge Tour" for weeks with a loaded lineup: Bret/Owen, Luger/Hennig, Steiners/Quebecers, Razor/Diesel, etc. etc... and then 2 weeks before the shows (5/19 and 5/20 at Nassau and MSG), it turned into Luger/Crush (feh), and Shrinkers & Afa vs. Quebecers & Polo. Luger and Crush had zero beef until suddenly Crush cost Luger a KOTR Qualifyer, so that felt really weak. The Shrinkers and Quebecers made some sense, even if the Shrinkers were average workers and the face turn made zero sense.
ReplyDeleteI have childhood memories of Monsoon as fond as anybody's, but in the '90s he was just awful. Aside from praising Ric Flair's performance in the Royal Rumble (briefly), he never, EVER put the heels over and had become nothing more than a bag of cliches. He needed Ventura to push him or Heenan to play off of. Monsoon taking over for Vince at KOTR and the post-KOTR Raws was a total disaster that required the re-hiring of Jim Ross.
ReplyDeleteI suspect the May sweeps period started the last week of April that year. In May of '93, Shawn Michaels was suddenly all over TV as well (two matches with Duggan and the title loss to Jannetty, followed by a Jannetty title match against Bam Bam).
ReplyDeleteI thought he was good. His passion and excitement levels were tremendous. Then again, if I recall correctly, Meltzer was a big Gordon Solie fan, and I never cared for him, so it makes sense I wouldn't agree with him.
ReplyDeleteA Monsoon moment that had me seething: Owen is on the King's Court the night after KOTR, bragging about his tournament victory and also bringing up his win over Bret at WMX. Monsoon on commentary screams, "LIAR! YOU GOT LUCKY!"
ReplyDeleteWhat in the world is that supposed to accomplish? You can disapprove of a heel's tactics without calling him a fluke. "What Owen has done to his family is despicable, but he's proved himself to be a dangerous competitor. He beat Bret once, he can do it again..." and so on. Now, did that one remark HURT Owen by itself? Probably not, but it didn't accomplish much other than Monsoon trying to put himself over at the expense of the company's new #1 heel.
No, Meltzer was definitely not a Solie fan, at least not the Solie of the late '80s.
ReplyDeleteI liked the Savage/Ross/Heenan team, but by '94 Savage was clearly itching to go back into the ring full-time and his commentary suffered, and mainly served as him trying to get himself over. He also lost a lot without Heenan to play off of and Ross to keep him on point.
I wish Affleck was directing the movie. He's an awesome director.
ReplyDeleteMonsoon and Bobby/Ventura are the greatest announce tandems of all-time.
ReplyDeleteHe was terrible without an all time great color guy but did great when he had one.
ReplyDeleteSo what's Scott saying is that WWF at this time were in the same position TNA is now.
ReplyDeleteYou mean SOCCER
ReplyDeleteMinus the history of successfully making millions and millions of dollars, yes.
ReplyDeleteBlame Vince.
ReplyDeleteNah!
ReplyDeleteI really wanted to know what color Ben Afflek's chin was going to be...
ReplyDeleteWhy they fuck they calling Soccer Football.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure the third world feels likewise!
ReplyDeleteMonsoon was always incredibly pro-babyface. This was nothing new.
ReplyDeleteSavage was awesome on commentary. He was hilarious, mostly unintentionally, but it would be awesome had he continued in that position. At least he went to WCW though and had some decent matches left in him.
ReplyDeleteSavage was seriously so awful on commentary
ReplyDeleteRoss/Heenan/Savage were freaking awesome.
ReplyDeleteTotally agree. Gorilla was one of the best ever, and he "won" worst announcer of the year multiple times from the WON.
ReplyDeleteHe looked and acted like biker taker.
ReplyDeleteAgree with you 100%
ReplyDeleteI loved Monsoon at KOTR 1994. That's the Art Donovan show, or as Gorilla calls him at the beginning of the broadcast Art O'Donnel.
ReplyDeleteYou could put a 6 year old in a match against Brock Lesnar, and Monsoon and Ventura could have me believing it would be a tough matchup for Lesnar.
ReplyDeleteMonsoon was actually terrible without a good color man IIRC, hence the award. Him and Heenan had good interplay which hid it, but yeah a few Scott Keith reviews will mention Monsoon going on stupid tangents when he isn't reined in by a color man.
ReplyDeleteholy FUCK. I thought that article was pushing it, but it happened.
ReplyDeleteYou just brought a tear to my eye.
ReplyDeleteI can't force myself to watch that show.
ReplyDelete