WWF Championship Wrestling March 29th, 1986

March 29, 1986

Your hosts are Bruno Sammartino and Vince McMahon

Tonight, Hulk Hogan will be wrestling on the show, still selling the effects of the attack he suffered from King Kong Bundy on “Saturday Night’s Main Event.” Plus, the Funk Brothers, British Bulldogs, Randy Savage and Paul Orndorff are all in action.

Lord Alfred Hayes gives us an update on all of the celebrities that will be appearing at WrestleMania 2. They include Lee Majors, Ray Charles, Robert Conrad, Dick Butkus, Ozzy Osborne, Joan Rivers, Herb from Burger King, Clare Peller, Susan St. James, Cab Calloway, Joe Frazier, Darryl Dawkins, Cathy Lee Crosby, Elvira, and G. Gordon Liddy, who cuts a promo about being the judge for the Piper vs. Mr. T match. It was incredibly wooden.

Andre Malo vs. “Macho Man” Randy Savage w/ Elizabeth

The announcers hype the feud between Savage and George Steele as Savage backs Malo against the ropes. He snaps Malo’s neck off of the rope and follows that with a suplex as an insert promo by Elvira is shown, hyping her appearance at WrestleMania. Savage tosses Malo outside then follows him out with a top rope double axe handle. Back inside, he hits another axe handle but pulls Malo up then goes up top and finishes him off with the flying elbow drop then covers him with one foot for the win (1:58).

Thoughts: Another great squash from Savage. Man, he was the most entertaining guy in this promotion during 1986.

Mean Gene is with Hulk Hogan and Mr. T, who talks about how he has never been so mad in his life and promises to beat Piper at WrestleMania for what he did at “Saturday Night’s Main Event.” Hogan then talks about Clubber Lang is a wimp compared to the real Mr. T. Not that much of an interview but they really hyped the shit out of WrestleMania 2.

Bob Bradley vs. “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff

Orndorff works a hammerlock until Bradley reaches the ropes. Orndorff works the arm as Vince puts over his upcoming WrestleMania match against Don Muraco. We get another G. Gordon Liddy promo, which was awful, as Orndorff is still working the arm. Vince brings up how there will be celebrity commentators at WrestleMania as Bradley hammers away on Orndorff. They fuck up a hiptoss spot then Orndorff tosses Bradley to the floor. He suplexes Bradley in the ring from the apron then hits a clothesline before he finishes off Bradley with the piledriver (3:28).

Thoughts: Nothing more than a backdrop to hype up all the celebrities appearing at WrestleMania. Interesting to see how a year ago, Orndorff was involved in the hottest match at the show and this year, he is in a match against Muraco that was slapped together at the last minute. After milking his feud against Piper for all it was worth, he had done nothing until he eventually turned on Hogan. To be fair, he was never meant to be a face.

Mean Gene is with several of the WrestleMania Battle Royal participants including the Hart Foundation and football players Jimbo Covert and William “Refridgerator” Perry, who cut a promo that needed subtitles at the bottom of the screen. Christ.

Ivan MacDonald & S.D. Jones vs. Terry & Hoss Funk w/ Jimmy Hart

I’ll say it again: MacDonald looks like Jim Carrey’s character from “Dumb and Dumber” on steroids. Bruno calls Hoss “Dory” at first before correcting himself. Terry chops S.D. against the ropes but gets caught with a slam. Hart grabs S.D.’s leg then Hoss stomps him on the floor. S.D. is selling the leg then goes inside where Terry attacks it some more. Cathy Lee Crosby gives us an insert promo about working with Monsoon at WrestleMania as S.D. mounts a comeback. He tags MacDonald, who Hoss knees off of the apron. The Funks take turns beating the shit out of MacDonald until Hoss makes him submit to the Boston Crab (2:43). After the match, S.D. chases Hart out of the ring as he attempted to brand MacDonald.

Thoughts: A dominate showing by the Funks, who will be facing Tito Santana & Junkyard Dog at WrestleMania.

Mean Gene is with Bobby Heenan and King Kong Bundy. Heenan said the whole plan was to send Hogan to the hospital and they knew that he would be dumb enough to put up the title in a match against Bundy, who says that getting into a steel cage with him will be the biggest mistake of his life. Heenan predicts that Bundy will be the new World Champion.

Tiger Chung Lee & Mr. X vs. British Bulldogs w/ Capt. Lou Albano

Lee runs over Dynamite, who then sends him to the floor with a backdrop. Davey tags and connects with a dropkick for two. Cab Calloway is shown in an insert promo singing about WrestleMania 2 as Davey powerslams Mr. X. Dynamite hits a snap suplex and a backbreaker then tags Davey, who gets caught in a small package for two. Davey comes back with a couple of slams then places Mr. X on top and tags Dynamite, who hits a super back suplex for the win (2:38).

Thoughts: The crowd in Poughkeepsie loved the Bulldogs. They got a great reception and impressed in the ring too. No mention at all of their match for the Tag Team Titles against the Dream Team at WrestleMania.

A video montage of Roddy Piper training for his boxing match against Mr. T set to his song from the “Wrestling Album.” It ran a bit too long and was unmemorable.

Vince runs down the WrestleMania 2 card and most importantly, all of the celebrities. Shit, Vince was like the guy from the Micro Machines commercials here in how fast he spoke.

Mean Gene introduces a series of promos for the Battle Royal. The idea here is that the Battle Royal is the most dangerous match in wrestling. Danny Spivey got to cut a promo here and maybe he shouldn’t have. Same for King Tonga, who came off as someone who just finishes a round of electroshock therapy. A mix of promos from football players and wrestlers. It was fine for what it was and Neidhart was pretty funny too.

Moondog Spot vs. Hulk Hogan

The crowd went nuts for Hogan, who comes out to “Real American” on Championship Wrestling for the first time. Hogan shoves Spot away then hits a few punches then a clothesline. He drops an elbow but Spot targets the injured ribs of Hogan. He hammers away until Hogan hulks up then fires back. He hits a corner clothesline then hits a back suplex before putting him away with the leg drop (1:56). Hogan poses after the match

Thoughts: It was really cool to see Hogan appear on this show, as it was a rare occurrence. The purpose of this was to show the fans that Hogan has healed from his injuries that he suffered from King Kong Bundy and that he will be in fine shape for their cage match at WrestleMania.

Final Thoughts: This was basically and infomercial for WrestleMania 2. I don’t have a problem with that but the constant celebrity insert promos and the focus seemingly on the celebrities themselves and the battle royal is not going to get me to rush out and see this show. The rest of the card is underwhelming but they barely even mentioned the other matches, even when the guys wrestling in them were in the ring on the show. This was WWF star-fucking at its finest. Not a terrible show by any means but the constant gushing over the C-List celebs was grating by the end.