Impact
Wrestling
Date:
June 5, 2014
Location:
Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators:
Mike Tenay, Tazz
Reviewed by Tommy Hall
We're
only a few weeks away from Slammiversary and the interesting thing is
MVP has injured his knee in a match in England. However, everything
tonight has been taped in advance, so unless something taped has been
added in, it's going to be interesting to see if he can make the
title match or not. As for tonight, I'm sure we're going to be
bombarded with stuff about the trio which still needs a name. Let's
get to it.
We
open with a recap of the Trio's dominance until Samoa Joe made the
save to end last week's show.
The
trio is looking for Samoa Joe.
Samoa
Joe comes out with something to say. Joe talks about MVP looking for
him, so here he is to make things easy for the boss. Cue the trio
with King saying he's tired of Joe trying to be a tough guy. Joe
gets right in MVP's face and tells him what the mouthpiece can do
with his mouth. MVP says time is money and Joe is wasting his. Joe
calls MVP a scumbag and a liar but MVP yells at him for bailing after
losing a gauntlet match. Unlike Joe, MVP did his job. Joe wants to
fight all of them tonight but here's Austin Aries to interrupt.
Aries wants in on this fight, so MVP makes Aries vs. Joe for tonight,
loser leaving TNA.
Bram
is ready for his fight with Willow tonight. However, he doesn't
think Magnus will ever be ready.
Willow
vs. Bram
Willow
hammers away in the corner to start but Bram takes over on the floor.
Back in and an elbow to the jaw puts Willow down for some trash
talking stomps. Willow nails three straight dropkicks including the
slingshot version in the corner. They head outside again and Willow
hits a big dive to take over again. Poetry In Motion off the steps
has Bram in trouble but he sends Willow into the steps to put Willow
down. Bram rams him into the steps and throws Willow back inside
before pulling out that crowbar. Magnus tries to talk him out of it
but Magnus blasts Willow with it instead for the DQ at 4:58.
Rating:
C. This was more angle than
match but the high spots were good. Bram is a solid guy out there
and has a great look to him so I can't complain all that much.
Willow isn't really all that extreme and is pretty much just Jeff
Hardy with a stupid looking mask, making the whole thing stupid.
MVP
gets in an argument with the Wolves before putting them in a match
against each other. If they don't do it, they lose the belts.
Mr.
Anderson is imitating James Storm at some bar.
Davey
Richards vs. Eddie Edwards
Richards
still has bad ribs. Kenny King is watch the match from the stage and
doesn't seem pleased. The Wolves starts very tentatively as they
don't want to hurt each other but King demands that the Wolves start
showing some teeth. They trade modified surfboards followed by a
half crab from Edwards. Eddie finally rolls him up
for the pin at 4:20.
Rating:
D. This wasn't supposed to be
much of a match, but I'm really not sure what it was supposed to
accomplish. Given how King was talking you would think he'd get
beaten up after the match, but did they really need to fill in six
minutes on this whole thing just for that kind of a payoff?
King
says that's not good enough and wants to see someone get beaten up.
I think you can figure it out from there, but in case you can't, King
gets taken apart.
Dixie
Carter freaks out on MVP for putting Aries and Joe in a contract
match. MVP says don't worry about it.
We
recap Brittany telling Madison how she really felt.
Madison
tells Brittany to stay out of her title match this week.
Robbie
E. is scared of the clown in the Menagerie. Apparently he had a bad
experience when he was ten years old and it still freaks him out
today.
MVP
tells the referee that there must be a winner in Joe vs. Aries.
Joe
went home because MVP was another power hungry villain. Aries comes
in and says Joe did go home. He says he saw MVP for what he was
months ago and got sent home as a result. Tonight they're both in
trouble but only one can win.
The
BroMans are in the ring and Robbie is still freaking out over the
clowns. This brings out the Menagerie to laugh at the BroMans and
scare them to death with the balloons. DJZ and Crazy Steve get in a
horn off and the Menagerie cleans house.
Bully
and Eric Young tell the referee to do the right thing tonight.
Referee Brian Hebner says he has to put food on his table and leaves.
Ray says they'll do what they have to do.
Gunner
and Samuel Shaw play Go Fish in the psych ward.
Austin
Aries vs. Samoa Joe
Loser
is gone. Joe hammers away to start and hits an early Facewash in the
corner. Aries fights out of the MuscleBuster and gets two off a
rollup but Joe is too big to be taken up in the brainbuster. Instead
Joe sends him into the corner for the enziguri but Aries rolls out of
the corner Rock Bottom. There's the Last Chancery but Eric Young
comes out to pull Brian Hebner to the floor. He does the same when
Joe puts on the Clutch and Bully Ray punches Hebner out. Joe and
Aries are ticked off and we'll call this a no contest at 5:30.
Rating:
C-. You can barely grade this
due to the ending, which is the biggest problem with the whole thing:
this is the second match of the night that hasn't had enough time to
go anywhere and has been about the trio angle instead of anything
else. That story is dominating everything and it's getting annoying
in a hurry. Also, nice job on that whole THERE MUST BE A WINNER
thing that we spent three scenes on.
Speaking
of which, here's the trio to say that MVP runs TNA. Ray says MVP has
a god complex and should come fight. After some trash talk, we get
the following match made for tonight: Bully Ray/Eric Young/Austin
Aries/Samoa Joe vs. MVP/Kenny King/Bobby Lashley/Ethan Carter III, and let's
make it first blood because why not.
Anderson
makes fun of cowboys again.
Now
Anderson is in the arena as the most stereotypical cowboy ever.
James Storm finally comes out and says he doesn't take kindly to a
man cheating in a drinking contest. Storm wants to fight but not
tonight. Anderson comes out and the fight is on with
Storm getting the better of it and nailing Last Call. A challenge is
made for Slammiversary.
Gunner
brings Shaw his sketchbook as part of his therapy. After a break,
Gunner looks at drawings of Shaw in Christy's shadown, Shaw's house
and Shaw's mom. There's an unfinished drawing of what looks to be
Gunner, who asks Shaw to finish it now.
Knockouts
Title: Madison Rayne vs. Angelina Love
Angelina
is defending and heads
outside at the bell. The chase is on with Angelina chasing after
Velvet for some reason until Madison catches the champion in the
ring. A Velvet distraction lets Angelina dropkick Rayne to the floor
and here's Brittany to check on her. Back in and Madison nails some
clotheslines to take over followed by the mat humper. Not that it
matters as Velvet sprays hairspray into Brittany's eyes to give Love
the pin at 4:00.
Rating:
D+. Yes believe it or not, this
was the exact same thing we've seen from the Beautiful People since
they reunited. I'm assuming we're leading towards Brittany being
hurt by Madison not wanting her and join the Beautiful People as a
result, but it's not exactly thrilling stuff getting there.
After
a break, Madison wants to know why Brittany didn't help her.
Brittany logically points out that she did exactly what Madison told
her to do.
Ethan
Carter III/MVP/Kenny King/Bobby Lashley vs. Eric Young/Samoa
Joe/Bully Ray/Eric Young
First
blood for no apparent reason. Aries and King get us going as you
have to tag in a match where it's about blood. A quick Last Chancery
is broken up by Ethan so Aries takes him over to the corner for a tag
off to Young. Carter runs away from Ray but Bully wants MVP. They
slug it out with Ray getting the better of it via a big boot to the
face so it's quickly off to King. Ray catches him in a front
facelock and brings in Joe. King runs off as well so we get Lashley
vs. Joe in a showdown. That sounds interesting so let's take a
break.
Back
with Joe hitting the running enziguri in the corner on Lashley and
bringing in the World Champion. Eric gets taken down in the corner
and the heels stat their shots to the head. They show some nice
thinking by going after the forehead with punches and kicks followed
by a hard elbow from MVP. All four villains get in some shots to
Young's head with Ethan asking if Eric is ready to bleed.
Young
finally breaks free and makes the tag off to Joe who clans house.
Lashley spears him down but gets caught by an Eric missile dropkick.
Everything breaks down and we get the secondary finishers a go-go.
Aries dives off the top to take out MVP and King but Ethan plants Ray
with a spinebuster. Ray grabs the chain and blasts Carter in the
head for the blood and the win at 14:45.
Rating:
D+. I have no idea why this was
a first blood match. It's not terrible but there was no reason to
not have this be a regular match and have Ray pin King. The match
didn't do anything of note though and doesn't advance the story for
the most part. Considering there are only two matches set for
Slammiversary, this wasn't the most logical match.
As
the winners celebrate, we cut to the back to see the trio destroying
Ethan. Dixie breaks it up and gets in MVP's face, saying the same
blood in Ethan flows through her. MVP doesn't care so Dixie says if
he wants a war, he's got one. This REALLY felt like something to
make us sympathize with the Carters and that's about as bad of an
idea as they could have.
Overall
Rating: D+. The more I watch
TNA, the more it becomes apparent that this main event scene is a
disaster. There are WAY too many people running around in it as you
have the eight in the main event tonight, plus the Wolves and Dixie.
That's WAY too much for one angle and it's bogging things down. It
doesn't help that we have to sit through the long series of segments
over and over again every week because almost nothing else gets
significant time.
Look
at the Wolves for example. Their match was set up in about 30
seconds, it didn't even last five minutes, and it was never mentioned
again. It's clear that their match wasn't a priority at all and that
they were on the card so we would remember they exist and happen to
be champions. The angle needs to split into stand alone stories (Joe
vs. Lashley and Ray vs. Carter would work fine) to let the main event
breathe a bit.
On
top of that, Eric Young feels like he's just there because he's World
Champion. I know that that's obvious, but he feels like a supporting
character in what's really Bully and Aries' fight with the trio. It
would make sense to get the title off of Young soon and get the real
big names into the feud. Young has been fine in the role, but he's
just not a World Champion caliber guy.
Finally,
there is some hope for TNA: the midcard stuff actually has my
interest. I'm curious to see where the Gunner/Shaw stuff goes and
the Storm vs. Anderson match should be good. Adding Brittany into
the Beautiful People stuff is at least something different and
Bram/Magnus as a ruthless team is good stuff. There are some solid
stories in TNA if you can get past half the roster being in one
story.
Results
Willow
b. Bram via DQ when Magnus interfered
Eddie
Edwards b. Davey Richards – Rollup
Austin
Aries vs. Samoa Joe went to a no contest
Angelina
Love b. Madison Rayne – Rollup
Bully
Ray/Eric Young/Samoa Joe/Austin Aries b. Ethan Carter III/Bobby
Lashley/MVP/Kenny King – Chain shot to Carter
Remember to check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com and head over to my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:
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I read that if MVP can't make the title match then Lashley will take his place.
ReplyDeleteBobby Lashley: TNA champion?
It's a better fit than Eric. However, I'd give him less than a month before he hands it to MVP.
ReplyDeleteSo is the end-game for Shaw and Gunner that Shaw's crazy fixation with Christy is transferred onto Gunner, and if so, what the fuck?
ReplyDeleteA Trump in every corner!
ReplyDeleteEww. Stalker angle with men.
ReplyDeleteif 1st blood matches are no holds barred, why wouldnt you just bring a razor with you to the ring?
ReplyDeleteI remember a buddy of mine asking why Austin didn't just bring a needle with him and poke Kane to retain the title back in 1998. It's a very fair question in most matches, though they did cover it by saying it had to be significant blood there.
ReplyDeleteBryan Alvarez just tweeted, "Pretty sure that Menagerie segment was the worst segment I've ever seen in my entire life."
ReplyDeleteIt CANNOT have possibly been this bad, can it? Can it???
Not really no. It was Robbie being scared of clowns and Rob Terry and Knux beating up DJZ and Jesse. It was about as by the books as you're going to get to set up a tag match later on.
ReplyDeleteI feel like the entire point of the main event being First Blood was to set up MVP's line about blood must be spilled to achieve power. Which is just crazy. That 4-on-4 was something they could have built and hyped for weeks leading to a huge elimination style main event of a PPV, but as I feared, they blew it off in 2 hours.
ReplyDeleteAs soon as MVP, King and Lashley formed Black Evolution, I figured it would all lead to Lashley playing the Batista role and turning face when he realizes MVP can't control him, and that would now be the logical course if MVP's injury is serious. Lashley fights for MVP at the PPV, beats EY for the title, and whenever MVP is ready for Lashley to give him the belt, they can do the "thumbs down" segment in which Lashley refuses.
Am I correct that they still only have three matches announced for the PPV? They go months between PPVs; they can have matches set up and hype them for like twice as long as WWE can and they're not taking advantage.
It wasn't the worst, but so far every Menagerie segment has been a mess.
ReplyDeleteMaybe Shaw convinces Gunner to vouch for him to get released, goes right back to stalking Christy, and Gunner has to save her.
ReplyDeleteRay is so wasted on this garbage. I'd love to see the Bully gimmick in WWE right now. Not that their storytellers are all that great, but it isn't.... this.
ReplyDeleteI think they're more gunshy about announcing matches at this time due to MVP's
ReplyDeleteinjury and having to switch some matches around.
I actually had no problem with it.
ReplyDeleteGeez, the more Impact seems to be getting entertaining intentionally again, the more you dislike it.
ReplyDeleteSteve can really sell for those balloons though.
ReplyDeletei agree. bromans are killing it in their role
ReplyDeleteThe faces they make.
ReplyDeleteamazing how jesse went from some meathead reality start shlub brought in just to interfere in tara's matches to a decently well rounded wrestler who has a knack for doing the comedy stuff
ReplyDeleteIt's getting better, just slowly.
ReplyDeleteAs long a third faction doesn't show up, we should be fine.
ReplyDeleteThey had some of the best Scooby Doo faces last week.
ReplyDelete