Skip to main content

Matt's Recap: Money in the Bank 2014

Welcome to the Money in the Bank show review!

So, I think I'm gonna cover this from top to bottom -- including the pre-show.

TD Garden is packed with ladders everywhere and an armored car.

Renee Young has taken over for Josh Matthews, who was fired from WWE earlier this week. Danielle will be so happy about that.

Booker T, Alex Riley (w/ Boston accent) and Christian who apparently crawled out from where ever he's been hiding.

Daniel Bryan will be on the show a little later.

And why are we being asked to "order" MITB on the WWE Network?!

There's gonna be a Vickie special on the WWE Network called "EXCUSE ME: THE COUGAR COUNTDOWN" because Vickie was fired for realz.

Anyhow, the Daniel Bryan spot is here. Cole asks when he's gonna be back. Apparently, he might need surgery again because his strength isn't returning.

@BelieveInTheAdo asks who he thinks will win tonight. The crowd shits all over his first two picks: Cena and Orton. So, he goes for the cheap pop with Roman Reigns RIGHT HERE! IN BOSTON!

Then Bo Dallas interrupts to add insult to injury. He says he's sorry Bryan can't compete tonight. It's a "pain in the neck", in fact. He can still climb the ladder of LIFE. All he has to do is BOLIEVE.

Bryan grins and says he appreciates Bo's concern and that he should BO-LIEVE...but Dallas is really being a BO-NER. Segment ends.

Mm-k.

Wyatt Time out of nowhere.

Usos time is up. Tick tock, tick tock. Run. Sheep mask.

Anyhow, time for the show...

We get a montage about THE CLIMB TO THE TOP. Who will endure THE CLIMB? WHO???

We are LIVE(!!!) from the TD Garden Center in Boston, Massachusetts!

Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and JBL are the guys on the mic, as usual.

Marcelo Rodriguez, Carlos Cabrera, and Ricardo Rodriguez are the guys in the Spanish booth.

MATCH #1: The Usos (Jimmy & Jey) (champions) vs. The Wyatts (Luke Harper & Erick Rowan) (challengers) for the WWE Tag Team Championship
The Wyatts have new music. It's even worse than the fucking calliope/accordion death music we had. It's this generic, unmemorable rock bullshit. Jey and Luke start. Jey tackles Harper on a whip and tags in Jimmy. Jimmy ends up getting drop-kicked and Rowan is tagged. He knocks Jimmy down and it's a two count. Tag to Harper and he hits a mean uppercut and tags Rowan back in. Rowan goes for a Pump Handle Slam but Jimmy breaks free and tags Jey who hits a Superkick and tackle off the top rope. Jey goes for a tackle and ends up in a Fallaway Slam. Jey breaks free and Harper ends up outside. Back in the ring, Jey hits a crossbody for two. 

Jey gets dumped outside and Harper is tagged. He attacks Jey outside and steps on his head, rolling him back inside for two. He slings Jey's neck into the ring rope and gets two. Tag to Rowan and he hits an elbow RIGHT TO THE HEART, according to Cole. He puts the Claw on Jey and then just tosses him across the ring. Rowan whips Jey into the ropes and Jey hits a Sunset Flip which is countered by Rowan. Tag to Harper who hits a Big Boot on Jey for two. Tag to Rowan and a HUGE body slam to Jey. He misses a splash and charges Jey in the corner but Jey escapes. Tags in both corners.

Jimmy is all over Harper with uppercuts and then gets whipped into Rowan. He hits a Samoan Drop on both men, then hits a Butt Splash on Rowan. He hits a Corkscrew on Harper and nearly gets a pin. He sends Rowan out and kicks Harper in the jaw twice, NEARLY getting a pin. Outside, Rowan has Jey in his arms, so Jimmy leaps at Harper, splashing Jey into him. Harper nails Jimmy from behind and the two set up for a double suplex but Jey makes the save, taking Rowan out of the ring. Jimmy rolls up Harper and NEARLY gets the fall.

Harper hits the Falling Powerbomb and NEARLY gets a pin. Damn. Dives outside takes out both Usos. Jey is out. Jimmy gets double powerbombed. It's over -- NO. Jey comes in to make the save. Jey nails Harper with a kick to the jaw and Rowan takes him out as well. Rowan goes up top but Jimmy gets up and rattles the top rope. Jimmy hits a slap to Rowan and goes for a Superplex but Rowan fights him off. Finally, Jey makes his way in and both boys go for a Double Superplex! HOLY SHIT. Tag to Jimmy for the Superfly Splash! He tags Jey in and ANOTHER Superfly Splash! Usos retain! Time was at 13:07.
WINNERS AND STILL CHAMPIONS: The Usos via Superfly Splash
GRADE: B+. Much better than all the lousy matches on TV. 

Cole explains the break-up of The Shield. And we get clips of it.

Ambrose is backstage. He wants to rip Rollins apart. That briefcase means EVERYTHING. But Ambrose can't decide whether he wants to get case or smash Rollins' face. Case or face?

MATCH #2: Naomi (challenger) (w/ Cameron) vs. Paige (champion) for the WWE Divas Championship
Danielle thinks Paige is gonna lose the belt. I think she's gonna keep it. This feud is thick between the two of us. Last night, I slept alone. That's right. It's big. Granted, she was overnight, visiting a friend...but, STILL...the first lock-up between the two ends up outside. The ref finally breaks them. Both go for a dropkick and then Paige, with a Spinning DDT. Naomi tosses her outside after Paige grabs her hair. She hits a huge Suicide Dive, knocking Paige flat. Paige gets back in the ring by a count of seven. Naomi immediately knocks her down and gets two. Naomi hits a crossbody but Paige flips it over for two. Naomi gets her pin fro two. Paige comes back with a kick and there's a series of counters and roll-ups for two.

Naomi hits a modified Crab Stretch on Paige, but then lets go and goes for a flipping pin for two. Naomi runs for the top rope but Paige kicks her and tries for the Superplex. Naomi fights out and both women spill out on the floor. The ref starts counting and gets to nine. Both women get back in. Naomi hits a backslide but Paige counters and mini-superkicks Naomi before hitting a Stump Puller while Cameron looks happy. After a bit, Paige just rolls Naomi up for a pin. Naomi hits a clothesline and dropkick. She hits an uppercut and hits the Rear View but Paige kicks out at two. Naomi hits the top rope and goes for the Spinning Moonsault but Paige gets her knees up. She tries the PTO but Naomi counters it and goes for the move that beat her on RAW. Paige counters into the a DDT and retains at 7:01.
WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: Paige
GRADE: C+. Eh. No heat or intensity, really. The match was just quick back and forth. I wish the WWE would spend more time on these matches with better competitors. Naomi is decent but nothing special.

Renee Young is with Booker T, Alex Riley and Christian. Booker T slurs everything and uses 47 buzzwords.

We get a statistical recap of Money in the Bank. And it's back to the action in ri--fuck, it's Sandow dressed like Paul Revere. He insults Adam Rose. Adam Rose appears. He does his usual bullshit. Oh. It's also a match.

MATCH #3: Damien Sandow vs. Adam Rose
Sandow is all over Rose to start, then Sandow runs at Rose who uses his legs to pull Sandow's face into his ass. Sandow pulls Rose outside and beats on him, then pushes him back in as Rose's band of morons dances on stage. Headlock by Sandow is countered and then Rose runs into a back elbow. He yells THE ELBOW IS COMING before dropping The Elbow of Disdain, getting two. Another headlock is countered by Rose. Rose knees Sandow in the face on a charge and then starts punching at Sandow and kicking him in the corner. He runs at Sandow and Sandow takes his head off and gets a HUGE pop from the crowd who is behind Sandow at this point. Sandow hits a HUGE slam to the mat but only gets two. Rose comes back after Sandow misses a flipping moonsault and hits the Party Foul for the win at 4:17.
WINNER: Adam Rose via Party Foul
GRADE: C-. Better match than what I was expecting but Rose is not winning anyone over.

Post-match, the crowd BOOS Rose. Wow.

Jon Stewart is at ringside which is better than what I just saw.

Rollins, RVD, Kofi, Ziggler, Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger all do pre-taped promos, saying they're gonna win tonight. Zeb Colter says that, years ago, Sam Adams came here and had some immortal words. (DANIELLE:  "Let's Drink?")

MATCH #4: Seth Rollins, Rob Van Dam, Jack Swagger (w/ Zeb Colter), Dolph Ziggler, Kofi Kingston, and Dean Ambrose in a Money in the Bank Ladder Match for the WWE Heavyweight Championship Contract
Ambrose goes right after Rollins, clotheslining him out of the ring and into the timekeepers pit. After that, it's the Kofi Show as he takes out Swagger with a Moondrop on top of the ladder. Kofi sets up a ladder which is way off-center. Ambrose pushes the ladder over. Kofi leaps off the ladder, bounces OFF the top rope and dives at everyone except Rollins. Ambrose and Rollins both try to climb the ladder but it's clear that isn't happening. Ambrose sets up a ladder in the corner and tries for a suplex. Rollins counters and tries for it. Ambrose finally hits an Arm Hook Suplex and Rollins hits the ladder. Ambrose goes up the ladder but Swagger pulls him off. Another spot where they trade people on the ladder. Ziggler and RVD and Kofi get in and it ends up being Ziggler and Kofi climbing. Swagger and Ambrose interfere. Ambrose takes Swagger out. Kofi takes Ambrose out. Kofi and Ziggler climb and bralw on the ladder.

Rollins gets a ladder and nails both guys. RVD comes into the ring to make the save on the climb. He slingshots Rollins into the ladder as the crowd chants "ECW". RVD sets a ladder up in the corner and hits Rolling Thunder on Rollins. Ambrose charges but RVD kicks him in the head. Ziggler and Swagger get the same treatment. RVD climbs the top rope and hits the 5SFS. My feed freezes on the WWE Network and then dies entirely. When I rejoin, RVD is set up in the corner. Swagger pulls him up and hits a MASSIVE SUPERPLEX...but it's not to be. RVD knocks him off. RVD goes for a splash but Rollins interferes...RVD manages to go for the Superplex but Swagger jumps up and hits a HUGE powerbomb instead. Suddenly, Ambrose hits the ladder AND, FINALLY, the Superplex gets its spotlight, lighting up this crowd. Everyone is down.

We see the replay about four more times, including from "Wile E. Coyote Cam" as Lawler calls it. Swagger starts taking out Superstars and tosses Kofi clear across the ring. Swagger gets a ladder and then just drops it on top of Kofi, then hits a Swagger Bomb. Swagger sets up a ladder but RVD makes the save and the two start exchanging blows. Rollins and Ambrose work together to take them out and then exchange shots, fighting with one another at the top. Finally, Ambrose knocks Rollins off. Ambrose climbs but Swagger pulls him off and then HITS A SPINEBUSTER off the ladder which Ambrose counters into a DDT. Rollins climbs but Ambrose gets to his feet and knocks Rollins over.  However, it looks like he hurt something and the refs and trainers send him to the back...oh boy. Rollins climbs but RVD makes the save.

Crowd is dead now. Kofi sets up a ladder bridge which isn't used for anything at all. Kofi brawls with him and knocks him off and Rollins falls right on top of the ladder! Kofi's got the ca--NO. Ziggler pulls him off. Kofi goes for the SOS...but Ziggler counters with the Falling DDT! Swagger comes in and he gets punch-tackled by Ziggler. RVD is back in but Ziggler his him with the Fame-Asser. Swagger gets whacked with a ladder by Ziggler. Kofi comes to life and misses a kick and Ziggler hits a ZIGG ZAGG INTO A LADDER. Holy shit. Ziggler climbs but Swagger hits the Patriot Lock on him. Dolph STILL climbs with Swagger on him. He kicks Swagger off! Crowd is hot right now. Ziggler climbs...he has the case...but Rollins comes in and nails him with a chair.

Rollins hits him again as the crowd chants "WE WANT AMBROSE". Rollins pushes him out of the ring and climbs...here comes Ambrose! HE HAS A CHAIR. He whacks Rollins again and again and again! He climbs...and BOOM, here comes Kane because screwjob. Kane pulls him off and Chokeslams him. And there it is. Kane pulls him up and hits a Tombstone and the crowd is PISSED. Kane waits for Rollins and here comes Rollins who grabs the case.
WINNER: Seth Rollins
GRADE: B+. Not the best I've seen plus a shit finish. MITB better have a face win the belts or else TD Gardens is gonna erupt.

Post-match, Triple H appears with Steph. They hold Rollins' hand up in victory.

We get a promo for the Vickie documentary on WWE Network which has frozen on me several times today. Danielle tried bravely to get us better service, but after 13 minutes of nonstop being on hold and endless wrestler theme songs gave up hope she would get to talk to a person. Well, at least she got to hear full theme songs instead of snippets.

MATCH #5: RybAxel (Ryback and Curtis Axel) vs. Goldust & Stardust
Stardust will start with Axel and hits some nice a nice dropkick after a hip toss. Ryback gets in and tries to taunt Star but Star tackles him after a slap and tags in Gold who hits a reverse Atomic Drop, sending Gold into the corner. Ryback throws him off and tags Axel who beats on Gold and dropkicks him. Two count. Ryback is in and he beats on Gold and hits a splash and clothesline. Axel follows that with a double axehandle off the ropes. Long headlock by Axel and a tag to Ryback for a delayed Suplex. A couple of pin reversals and a HUGE Spinebuster by Ryback. He calls for the Meathook which takes FOREVER but Goldie moves and tags Star who hits some flying moves and a sitting dropkick. Ryback tries a press salm but Star counters. Ryback goes for the Shell Shock but Star counters into Cross Rhodes. Axel comes in and makes the save but gets dumped and Star rolls up Ryback for the win at 7:35.
WINNERS: The Dusts
GRADE: D+. Crap RAW match...and, again, what's so special about Stardust? Nobody cares about him or Goldust.

We get the build-up for Summer, Layla and Fandango.

Fandango is backstage with Byron Saxton. Saxton wants to know how Fandango will call this match. Layla sucks up to Fandango and says he can't. Summer interferes and they start exchanging insults.

MATCH #6: Rusev (w/ Lana) vs. Big E
Lana and Rusev do their thing. Big E has suddenly adopted some sort of MLK Black Reverend voice. This show needs something quick. Big E hits a huge forearm to start, then another huge running forearm, knocking Rusev out of the ring. Big E tries that Spearr he did during Payback but Rusev knees him in the head. He gets in the ring and hits a belly to back suplex and a series of forearms. He puts E in a chinlock, then stomps on E. Rusev misses a splash. E hits a belly to belly suplex and gets two. Rusev knees E in the corner and charges but E hits a HUGE clothesline into Spinebuster for two. E spears Rusev in the corner and a huge clothesline. He goes into a Warrior Splash. Rusev goes for the big kick but E holds the rope and spears Rusev out of the ring. E gets to his feet and dumps Rusev back in, getting a two count. E calls for the Big Ending but Rusev jams out of there. E reaches for him but Rusev kicks E in face, then gets back in the ring and hits the Superkick. Lana calls for the Accolade, so Rusev locks it in...and E gets to his knees...so Rusev just pulls back harder and E finally taps at about 6 minutes.
WINNER: Rusev via Accolade
GRADE: C+. Better...but now is the time to find Rusev an angle. The squashes hit overkill weeks ago.

Bellas are backstage. Steph is pissed that Brie is here. She wants Brie to go away. Now. Brie says that she was just showing Nikki the video of Steph being shoved into the mud pit from RAW. Brie gets in Steph's face and grins. Steph summons "security" to get her out of the building. Nikki tells Steph she's sorry. Steph tells Nikki to make sure Brie stays gone.

Mountain Dew Commercial because it has electrolytes. And things plants love.

MATCH #7: Summer Rae vs. Layla with Fandango as the special guest referee
Cole says, "Layla has a unique mask..." then goes silent. That's about how awesome this is. Layla tosses Summer outside, then flirts with Fandango. Summer pulls Layla down and attacks her in the corner. Summer shows off her legs. Layla kicks Summer into Fandango and they nearly kiss. Layla attacks and tries to pin Summer. After Summer kicks out, she puts Summer into a Indian Deathlock as JBL and Cole argue over the PC term for the move. The crowd, fed up, yells for CM Punk, I think. Summer breaks out and throws Layla to the mat. JBL: "This is like Eva Gabor and Nancy Sinatra fighting over Frank." Summer tackles Layla in the corner and beats her outside the ropes. Layla retaliates and tackles Summer, pinning her. at 3:07. Anybody care?
WINNER: Layla
GRADE: F. There was no reason this match should have even been on the card. 

Post-match, the audio team plays Layla's old music for some reason. Then Fandango kisses her. So...I guess that angle's over.

We get the build-up for the big Championship Ladder Match.

The big match is gonna start...but first, Triple H and Steph are out. They will be at ringside. Oh man...this has the makings of something awesome.

MATCH #8: WWE United States Champion Sheamus, Bray Wyatt, Alberto Del Rio, Cesaro (w/ Paul Heyman), John Cena, Randy Orton, Roman Reigns, & Kane in a Money in the Bank Ladder Match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship
Chaos to start out - Orton dumps Del Rio because he doesn't matter anyhow. Cena and Wyatt brawl in the corner. Reigns, Sheamus, Cesaro and Wyatt all get dumped. Orton beats on Cena in the corner as Kane slips a ladder up on the mat. Cesaro and Del Rio dropkick the ladder at Kane and then clothesline Orton with it. Wyatt knocks them down. Cena tries the AA but Wyatt kicks out and hits a Facebuster on Cena. Reigns tries a Spear and misses. Wyatt rushes and Reigns drops him with the Samoan Drop. Sheamus gets back into the ring and stops Reigns. Orton and Kane join in. Sheamus and Reigns grab ladders and sandwich Kane. Sheamus and Reigns set up their ladders. Sheamus's ladder isn't as big (ha) and four men climb the ladders. Del Rio and Sheamus brawl on one and the ladder falls. Sheamus gets taken out of the ring. Kane gets into the match and knocks the other one down, then takes everyone out including Cena, much to the delight of the crowd.

Kane takes the bigger ladder and tosses it, then the smaller ladder and sets it up because Kane is suddenly a fucking moron. He grabs Orton and puts Orton on it. Orton tries to climb but Reigns interferes and knocks them off. Wyatt gets in the ring and pulls Reigns off the ladder and hits a Spinebuster. Cena slams Wyatt and goes for the 5KS but Cesaro takes him out with the Uppercut. Cesaro and Sheamus climb the ladder. Wyatt, for some reason, crawls around like a spider. Wyatt finally gets up and knocks the ladder down. Sheamus and Cesaro hang from the belts and then fall. The ring is eventually cleared as the brawl ends up outside. Orton tosses Del Rio into the ring steps and Sheamus brawls with Orton. Sheamus sets up a bridge from the Spanish table to the ring to the mat but Orton trips Sheamus and DDT's him off the ladder. Orton is cut open.

He gets in the ring and sets up the high ladder after kicking Cena in the chest. Orton climbs but Cena's on his feet. A handful of stars climb with him. Reigns climbs up after Orton is knocked off. Every single guy keeps pulling the other off. Cesaro gets more than halfway up so Kane knocks him off and puts him out of the ring. Del Rio tries to Enzuguri Kane but whiffs big time. Kane closes up the ladder and puts it aside. He grabs Sheamus and punches at him but Sheamus drops his neck on the ropes, then hits Ten Beats. Reigns is in and Sheamus hits a Battering Ram. Irish Curse to Del Rio. White Noise to Cesaro. Sheamus calls for the Brogue and, instead of hitting Orton, nails poor Cena who has taken every finisher so far. Sheamus finally grabs a ladder as Triple H and Steph don't look happy about it.

Sheamus climbs but Kane drags him down by the foot out of the ring. Sheamus is pissed and tosses Kane into the steps outside. Sheamus starts climbing as Cesaro builds a ladder bridge for some reason instead of just running to the ladder and stopping Sheamus. He climbs and both get to the top. Reigns comes in and LIFTS THE LADDER WITH BOTH GUYS ON IT. Both stay on. For some reason, Cena props the ladder back up as Sheamus has his arms on the belt hook. Chaos as all eight guys brawl and stop Sheamus. Orton kicks Sheamus and it's a brawl. Ring is cleared. Kane sets up the ladder again but Reigns comes in with a Spear and Kane is out of the ring. Orton kicks at Reigns and plays to the crowd, setting up for the RKO. Reigns shoves him away and hits the Superman Punch. Sheamus gets in the ring and gets the same. Del Rio and Reigns destroys him. Wyatt charges and he gets his head planted into the table. Missile Dropkick to Del Rio and to Wyatt and a Spear to Cesaro! Holy shit.

Reigns gets into the ring, turns, and see John Cena. Cena looks up and it's a brawl. It's BOO-YAY punches and Cena goes for the AA but Reigns counters into the Spear. Triple H is on his feet, watching, as Reigns sets up the ladder. Reigns climbs but Orton is in and pulling at Reigns, then hits the reverse chopblock backbreakers off the ladder. Reigns is out and Orton climbs the ladder. Wyatt comes in and hits Sister Abigail! He climbs but Del Rio interferes and hits the Enzuguri and the Mini Superkick of Doom. Del Rio climbs and gets his hands on the hook...but Sheamus is in and knocks over the ladder, then hits the Brogue! Sheamus sets up and climbs but Cesaro stops him, pulls him down, his the Uppercut and the Neutralizer! Cesaro climbs but Orton pulls Cesaro down and hits the RKO! He climbs...

But here comes Reigns! He pulls at Orton, headbutting him and punching. They trade headshots and Orton pulls at Reigns' hair. They both hit the mat and Orton starts climbing again. Orton is cut WIDE open with blood dripping down his face. Reigns start hitting headbutts and Orton falls. But Kane comes in and hits the Chokeslam. Kane holds up the ladder and Orton climbs. Cena comes in and hits the AA on Kane, then pulls Orton down and hits the AA on top of Kane. He climbs and he's got the belts.
WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION: John Cena
GRADE: B-. Typical spot-fest near the end but, wow, needed a better finish. 

Post-match, Triple H and Steph are beside themselves. Cena kinda looks at them and grins as we go off the air.

OVERALL: B-. There was a giant lull in the middle and two ladder matches that needed more drama. The first ladder match's finish should have set up for Ambrose taking out Kane and Orton with Cena grabbing the belt.

Er, that's it.


Andy PG will start your week off right with the PG Era Raw Rant on Monday, I will be back Tuesday with the Main Event Recap, Scott has your NXT Report and Tommy's got your weekend covered with Smackdown.

Thank you to all the BoD'ers and, hey, if you wanna read more of our stuff, please check me out at The Daily DDT (http://dailyddt.com/author/mattlperri/), visit WE HATE YOUR GIMMICK at http://wehateyourgimmick.blogspot.com and, of course, visit us on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/groups/wehateyourgimmick/.

Comments

  1. I care about GoldDust God Dammit!

    ReplyDelete
  2. TJ for NJPW fans:Tomohiro Ishii lost the Never title,this is sad,really sad.He lost to fucking Yujiro.

    ReplyDelete
  3. CENAWINSLOL2014. ah well time to job to Brock.

    ReplyDelete
  4. If they roll this out for a big show that means Battleground is going to be brutal.

    ReplyDelete
  5. As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death......

    ReplyDelete
  6. people sure cared about Cody and Golddust when they were having great angles and matches on Raw. Then WWE forgot about them and their went the heat. Funny how that works.

    ReplyDelete
  7. This is worse than the valley of the shadow of death,this is WWE in 2014.

    ReplyDelete
  8. You liked the Diva's title match and the main event better than I did

    ReplyDelete
  9. Cena is the champion,that's all that matters to me.


    -Vince McMahon.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Knuckleberry PinnJune 29, 2014 at 9:18 PM

    John Cena's first title win was in 2005. His latest was in 2014. For reference, in Hogan's initial run, his first win was 1984, and his last was in 1993.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Riiiiight, nice way to leave off the multiple titles he had in WCW from 94 to 99 and then again in WWE in 2002.

    ReplyDelete
  12. HowmuchdoesthisguyweighJune 29, 2014 at 9:22 PM

    Not upset about Brock vs Cena II

    ReplyDelete
  13. Knuckleberry PinnJune 29, 2014 at 9:22 PM

    I believe by "initial run" I made it clear that I was going to be leaving those off. And with three WWE title Wrestlemania Main event victories to Hogan's 5, to say that Cena is not approaching the kinda run Hogan had is ridiculous, but , yeah, "riiiiiiight".

    ReplyDelete
  14. It would have been higher if the WWE spent more than 8 seconds on it. You know, because we all needed Sandow, Rose, Summer, Layla and Fandango on the card.

    ReplyDelete
  15. HowmuchdoesthisguyweighJune 29, 2014 at 9:25 PM

    Naomi was impressive tonight IMO. Rare entertaining divas match

    ReplyDelete
  16. They're trying to resurrect a corpse. What did they do? Re-did Goldust and put "Star" in front of the word, "Dust".

    ReplyDelete
  17. Noelle Foley gets more WWE TV time than Zack Ryder.

    ReplyDelete
  18. TM CooltrainerBretJune 29, 2014 at 9:29 PM

    Is Yujiro the new Gedo?

    ReplyDelete
  19. Do you care enough to properly spell his name?

    ReplyDelete
  20. Did I miss Bod WarGames somewhere?

    ReplyDelete
  21. Cena is one title win away from tying Flair with 16.

    Huge accomplishment.

    ReplyDelete
  22. A lot of people really dig the Stardust angle actually. It's a lot more fresh than you make it sound.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Match 6 and 7 were in the 'embarrassed to be watching this' level of bad. Not that the Rusev-Big E match was bad, but the writing. Oy.

    ReplyDelete
  24. TM CooltrainerBretJune 29, 2014 at 9:31 PM

    The Sam Adams line led to mass production of endorphins in my brain. This gets a pass.

    And yeah, WWE is not making a good case for the Network right now.

    ReplyDelete
  25. just posted

    ReplyDelete
  26. I think they're doing something creepy and cool with it. Give it time. Dustin and Cody have brilliant minds for these things.

    ReplyDelete
  27. The beginning was really rough and that superplex spot was terrible.


    Some nice moves but if they can get it together, they could have a *** match. Paige has no presence on TV. She needed more NXT to work out the kinks

    ReplyDelete
  28. We probably are getting one more Cena/Orton match at Battleground so they can do a top ten Cena/Orton matches countdown on the WWE Network.


    (Yes, I made the same joke about Undertaker/Kane, but it's probably even more appropriate here)

    ReplyDelete
  29. I understand putting Cena up. I liked the first ladder match. But this show was kind of terrible. Other than the ladder matches I didn't care about a single thing. And the sucky part is that I want to care about Rose. I want to care about the Dust Brothers. But this was all just a bunch of Raw matches. I give the whole thing a C at best.

    ReplyDelete
  30. I did not think Paige was very impressive though.

    ReplyDelete
  31. All that really matters: did Jon Stewart like the show enough to talk about it tomorrow night on The Daily Show?

    ReplyDelete
  32. She comes across as someone who doesnt belong on TV. You need more than just wrestling ability

    ReplyDelete
  33. Danielle StolmanJune 29, 2014 at 9:34 PM

    I was so sure Naomi was going to win tonight as Paige isn't joining Total Divas (reruns started on WWE and currently filming season 3). When I saw the match was the second one and one of the announcers mentioned Total Divas, I was all but sure she was going to win. If she had I would have written a story for this blog (and Matt's) about what this means for Total Divas, I still probably will do something about how the matches especially title ones should and could effect the show.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Wait it out and see where it goes....?

    ReplyDelete
  35. Agreed. Although I'm still amused by the corny picture of Putin before Rusev's matches.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Danielle StolmanJune 29, 2014 at 9:36 PM

    Probably while Paige isn't on Total Divas (second Divas Champion in a row who isn't but whereas AJ refused, they probably haven't asked her, and I'm still trying to figure out who thinks Rosa Mendes is important enough in wrestling to give her a spot.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Pretty sure the fall to the floor was planned.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Cody's dedication to it is great, and the weirdness of it really calls back to early Goldust.

    ReplyDelete
  39. She seems unstable in real life so they are probably banking on some of that to make an entertaining character

    ReplyDelete
  40. Haven't watched the show in awhile, may have to now for that reason.

    ReplyDelete
  41. I've Cena lot of ladder matches, but that one's John my short list of the best!

    ReplyDelete
  42. I just watched that on the replay and thinking the same thing. And if it was planned, it still looked bad.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Man, Naomi looked like she wanted to put on something good. But, she seemed to be just running from spot to spot and then that top rope botch just kinda put them on ice.

    ReplyDelete
  44. So...can we talk about this being a springboard to a Cena heel turn?

    ReplyDelete
  45. I'm behind it, but I think if Stardust were a heel he'd be killing it Bray Wyatt style.

    ReplyDelete
  46. :clap:
    Brilliant.

    ReplyDelete
  47. That whole family was pretty unstable.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Here is why I can't get into the authority angle:


    Randy Orton held the title from a good portion of Summerslam to Mania, and the ENTIRE time was basically with HHH and Stephanie telling us how much Randy Orton sucked and needed to step up and take care of things himself, etc. He lost or needed significant help winning every single match he was involved in, to the point where HHH finally gets annoyed at him (and Batista) telling both of them that HE would take the title at Mania. (He lost to Bryan, of course.)



    Over the next 2 months, HHH and Orton lost both their Tag matches to the Shield, while Stephanie sends Kane after the World Title. During this time, it has been established that Orton can't get the job done without anyone's help, and that Kane can at least injure Bryan 1 on 1 on a regular basis if he can't beat him in a match.


    So WHY, in this match, is KANE trying to get ORTON to win the title? Furthermore, IF that is his goal, why does he not just climb the ladder himself, grab the title, then lay down to Orton on Raw, or ROLLINS right after the MITB match?


    If Kane is not going to actually try to win the title, he would have been better served as not being officially entered in the match to explain away all these stupid plot elements. Just have him show up 5 mins into the match and stay to the end so he (and the authority) does not look like a dumbass for never trying to win.


    Also, Holy shit, WHY do the Authority want Orton as champion? They were constantly annoyed when he was the champion, and he's done jack shit since Mania to prove that has changed. I have to wonder if those writing staff meetings have anyone really talking about character development or motivations, or if everything is written strictly for the purpose of filling time on TV (fuck guys, you can do BOTH).

    ReplyDelete
  49. "Dustin and Cody have brilliant minds for these things," said nobody ever. :)

    ReplyDelete
  50. He sure has the creepy look. He could be like the Joker from the 60's Batman.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Oh, heel turn when he's darn well ready to.

    ReplyDelete
  52. Are there people watching in the back who are not embarrassed for their profession when the Divas are in the ring? I conced that the girls try, but even the best of those matches is utter shit. The only reason that I can think of for why they keep the Divas around is that it somehow makes them money.

    If that's the case, I would like to see a detailed breakdown from WWE which proves that having the Divas is "best for business". Frankly, I don't buy that revenue attributable to Divas (through E! ratings for Total Divas, merchandise, ticket sales from people who specifically want to see Divas, etc.) is greater than it would be if they were to drop that worthless division and use the time/resources to develop some of the other talent on their show.

    ReplyDelete
  53. This is World Cup season, too, so it should be GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLDUST.

    ReplyDelete
  54. You're great at these puns.

    ReplyDelete
  55. Good review as usual.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Worst_in_the_WorldJune 29, 2014 at 9:43 PM

    Money from Total Divas makes it 100% worth it for them.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Triple H: How about SHUT UP. OrtonisperfectOrtonisperfectOrtonisperfect...

    ReplyDelete
  58. It's become problematic; I've won contests and I've lost friends.

    ReplyDelete
  59. Danielle StolmanJune 29, 2014 at 9:45 PM

    An unstable family would make for GREAT TV though. Heck they've already had a documentary about their family, so they would sign that contract in a heartbeat. I just don't think they like her out of the ring. While I'd rather see Nikki (or when she returns Brie) take the championship, having the current champion on Total Divas just makes sense. They just started filming season three, so I predict either a new champion by Sep when it starts or Paige as a surprise addition.

    ReplyDelete
  60. Cena drops it to Brock who drops it to Reigns who turns heel, then drops it to a returning Bryan eventually.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Worst_in_the_WorldJune 29, 2014 at 9:47 PM

    Yeah yeah CenaWinsLOL, who cares. I'm looking forward to Cena vs Lesnar for the title way more than whatever angle would have come out of hotshotting the title to Bray or Roman or Cesaro way too early.
    A two month Cena reign and a probable Battleground defense against Kane or Orton is more than worth what should be a really awesome Summerslam main event, in my book at least.


    Also Ambrose vs Rollins is a great fucking feud.

    ReplyDelete
  62. By diva match standards though, that's a ballsy bump to take.

    ReplyDelete
  63. Worst_in_the_WorldJune 29, 2014 at 9:49 PM

    Why would Roman ever turn heel? He's the next superface, not Bryan.
    Seems like Bryan kinda missed his big window with the injury, unfortunately. I think the line is pretty much Cena to Lesnar to Roman and then Romanmania runnin' wild, brutha. Bryan probably main events against Lesnar in a losing effort at some point though.

    ReplyDelete
  64. Even if a lot of people like it, it doesn't seem to have made a tremendous impression on the entire crowd yet. "Nobody" is too much, but it's not getting a huge reaction yet.

    ReplyDelete
  65. Weird. I joined in late - just around Dusts vs Rybaxel. The way the blog was reacting, I actually thought Kane had won the first ladder match.

    ReplyDelete
  66. I still think that was a botch...they quickly tried covering for it.

    ReplyDelete
  67. I like this joke even though I don't like how you respond to those who question sheamus.

    ReplyDelete
  68. Why didn't Ambrose interfere or at least try to help Reigns? Oh yeah WWE logic.

    ReplyDelete
  69. Also, I thought the Rusev/Big E match was a little better than how it scored here. It was a good big man match.

    ReplyDelete
  70. I take a look at my life and realize there's nothing left

    ReplyDelete
  71. That's what I said...Reigns all of a sudden forgot he got stabbed in the back???

    ReplyDelete
  72. The Immortal Hoke OganJune 29, 2014 at 9:59 PM

    If Ambrose vs. Rollins is going to be an epic blood feud, maybe having Ambrose cost Rollins his cash-in would be a worthwhile endeavor

    ReplyDelete
  73. Exactly. Did they break up the group and not tell us?

    ReplyDelete
  74. Worst_in_the_WorldJune 29, 2014 at 10:02 PM

    Considering Bray now has nothing to do, how about Bray stepping in and winning the tag titles with Luke Harper at Battleground? His followers couldn't get it done without him, so now he has to step in and win it himself. Seems like a way to give Bray a "big win" and something to gloat about for awhile.

    ReplyDelete
  75. ARRRRGH THE BARBARIANJune 29, 2014 at 10:02 PM

    I think Cena picked the ladder back up so Cesaro wouldn't maim himself. I wouldn't agree to that spot for anything.

    ReplyDelete
  76. Do you think they have some long-term plan ready for Rollins to make him world champion via cash-in? I don't. It would have made more sense to have Kofi or Dolph win it, then try to cash in on Brock and get murdered for it.

    ReplyDelete
  77. Why would they do that? Rowan & Harper are a credible team

    ReplyDelete
  78. They did. They absolutely did.

    ReplyDelete
  79. The tag titles haven't meant anything since................

    ReplyDelete
  80. Maybe it's because I'm so used to 411, but I can't read a review where the reviewer references his girlfriend/wife/whatever and not immediately scroll down to the comments section because I think a bunch of trolls are about to have a field day with the poor guy.

    ReplyDelete
  81. Well, he still had the fans in the palm of his hands during the pre-show, so there may be hope for Daniel Bryan to be the top guy -- or one of the top guys -- when he returns.

    ReplyDelete
  82. Worst_in_the_WorldJune 29, 2014 at 10:05 PM

    To finally put a title on Bray and give him something meaningful to do for a few months. It's not like Rowan wouldn't be involved, or wouldn't end up tagging with Harper again down the road.

    ReplyDelete
  83. He can feud with Sheamus for a month or two. Its more meaningful than tagging

    ReplyDelete
  84. Worst_in_the_WorldJune 29, 2014 at 10:08 PM

    The tag titles have actually been really well booked and important for a few years now. Hell No had a long reaign in which they were super over. Shield beat them and were super over. Rhodes Bros beat them and THEY were really over as champs. Yeah the Outlaws had a shit transitional run, but Usos have been over and tagging with Cena and feuding with the Wyatts during their reign.


    Tag titles have easily been one of the best booked things on the show since Sept 2012.

    ReplyDelete
  85. Presumably the wrestlers dating or married to the divas, including Jey Uso, Daniel Bryan, John Cena and currently MIA CM Punk are proud of their respective wives or girlfriends. My guess is the the WWE creatives think women like seeing other women out there as athletes and not just cheerleaders, I wrote about that on Matt's blog (http://www.wehateyourgimmick.blogspot.com/2014/06/watching-divas-as-female-fan_2186.html). They do have women who are talented athletes as they have in the past, they just don't always take the time to let them develop in the ring. Additionally, when they book terrible matches and the matches suffer as a result, people as a whole are less interested which leads to even less time and matches booked for the divas.

    ReplyDelete
  86. He can defend himself well.

    ReplyDelete
  87. Bryan is over with the crowd, every crowd, in a way that very few wrestlers today can claim. When he comes back, he'll still be up there, and third from Cena and Reigns is no bad place.

    If nothing else, Bryan will be more of a top-tier utility player than Orton.

    ReplyDelete
  88. I really hope they keep going with Ambrose-Rollins and poor Dean doesn't get stuck in a feud with Kane. Speaking of Kane, he really is the big red retard. He could have won and just handed the titles over or something. As long as Cena winning leads to a Brock feud I will be fine.

    ReplyDelete
  89. ARRRRGH THE BARBARIANJune 29, 2014 at 10:10 PM

    Yeah, it could use a little more depth but whoever's working on that is doing a decent job, instead of random hotshots or champions not defending for 6 months. I have no use for the Usos, but they've gotten over, which is alot better than the days of McGuilltunga.

    ReplyDelete
  90. Worst_in_the_WorldJune 29, 2014 at 10:10 PM

    Tag titles are more over than babyface Sheamus is right now. Anyway, it's an idea. Bray holding the tag titles over everyone's head and the Wyatts say defending with the Freebird rule could conceivably be a pretty hot angle for a few months.


    Feuding with babyface 2014 Sheamus and getting called "fella" for 3 months feels like absolute death.

    ReplyDelete
  91. For whatever reason, I just started watching regularly again about 6-8 months ago...maybe I got concussed somewhere along the line.

    ReplyDelete
  92. Thank Bryan and Kane for that.

    ReplyDelete
  93. Not crazy about Cena winning it, but I didn't expect anything else. At least Cena/Lesnar II ought to be a great match. I just wish I had faith in the creative team to write a compelling feud.

    ReplyDelete
  94. :bust out laughing:
    It took you that long to type that?

    ReplyDelete
  95. ARRRRGH THE BARBARIANJune 29, 2014 at 10:13 PM

    The one thing Bryan has is that he can work a 20-30 minute main event match. No one knows if Reigns can do this yet. If Reigns learns to work halfway decent matches, Bryan has no chance.

    ReplyDelete
  96. Yeah, I was typing something and then stopped and deleted it all and thought, "I've heard this complaint before."

    Besides, a few people think she's imaginary anyhow, so what are we arguing about? :)

    ReplyDelete
  97. :looks up:
    Oh, sorry, only saw the last part, didn't know they were already acknowledged.

    ReplyDelete
  98. "Oh, look, two guys fighting for the title on the ladder! They might get it before I do! Time to become SPIDER WYATT FOR NO REASON.

    ReplyDelete
  99. Don't worry, Paul Heyman will talk people into the match.

    ReplyDelete
  100. Consider yourself a lucky man for having a girlfriend who not only watches, but also puts up stuff on a wrestling blog.

    ReplyDelete
  101. Worst_in_the_WorldJune 29, 2014 at 10:17 PM

    Sure, but people are really into Roman Reigns too, and we all know that WWE wants Roman as the guy.
    The fans aren't gonna uprise and force Bryan to be the champ again during Roman's upcoming chase the way they did last year when Cena, Big Show, and Batista were all being pushed as the top face. Roman isn't gonna catch that type of reaction, cause fans are legit into him.


    Is Bryan MORE over than Roman? Sure. But Roman's gonna get the better push, and fans aren't gonna derail it.

    ReplyDelete
  102. At worst he's 3rd in line.

    ReplyDelete
  103. Dude! I think she's the only person I've dated who LOVED watching it. :)

    ReplyDelete
  104. Worst_in_the_WorldJune 29, 2014 at 10:18 PM

    Totally. Bryan's a nice little B+ player!

    ReplyDelete
  105. lol, well that and his girlfriend (me) watches, comments, and writes for this and his blog. Also, I'm not imaginary. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  106. just one of my amazing qualities. lol.

    ReplyDelete
  107. It's pretty sad that wwe doesn't even have a guy credible enough to be a transitional champ fed to Brock.

    ReplyDelete
  108. And that was another thing: there's Sheamus climbing the ladder. Cesaro sees this and what does he do? Takes the time to grab a ladder, construct a bridge from the turnbuckle to the ladder and then balances on it to reach Sheamus.

    ReplyDelete
  109. I remember once I was dating this lady and she stopped in randomly to visit and I was watching Police Academy. She sat down and said "What the fuck is this shit?" and I then knew it just wouldn't work.

    ReplyDelete
  110. yeah, it's getting to the point that several guys in ladder matches just doesn't make fucking sense anymore

    ReplyDelete
  111. Worst_in_the_WorldJune 29, 2014 at 10:22 PM

    It's crazy that Sheamus, for as many guys as he's been fed over the years and how long of a WHC reign he had, just isn't over enough to be that guy. The guy gets less over by the day.

    ReplyDelete
  112. You have no idea of the magnitude of this thing. If a girlfriend is allowed to infiltrate this world, then the person you know seizes to exist. See, right now you have independent Kyle. That's the Kyle you know, the Kyle you grew up with. Movie Kyle, Sports Kyle, Wrestling Kyle. If relationship Kyle walks through this door, he will kill independent Kyle. A Kyle divided against itself cannot stand.

    ReplyDelete
  113. Indeed. And I recall Diva DVDs sold quite well, also. I think there's enough of a market to keep throwing out a token feud or two. Unfortunately, the market in all successful female sports require the women to be attractive, because men are idiots. Hence we get Diva Search bimbos that nobody cares about, and can only hope for the 1 in 10000 chances that another Trish Stratus type comes along.

    ReplyDelete
  114. There's a huge problem people are ignoring with the "No, it's okay, Cena will totally drop it to Brock at Summerslam". People are assuming it goes like this:

    Step 1: Cena wins title.
    Step 2: Brock beats Cena at Summerslam.
    Step 3: ????
    Step 4: Profit!

    What's the question mark? So Brock beats Cena. Okay, great, now what? Unless he signed for more dates with this contract, it either won't be a long title reign or the champ will be off TV for months. You wanna know what's most likely? Brock beats Cena at Summerslam, then two weeks later all those people who subscribed to the Network day one have their 6 months end, so WWE books Cena/Lesnar 3 at Night of Champions to try to get them to resubscribe. Cena beats Brock to win the title, Brock disappears until the Rumble or Wrestlemania, and Cena overcomes the odds to beat everyone in his path.

    My gut is Brock does beat Cena at Summerslam, but the two problems are we have to get through Battleground first (and I'm literally dreading whatever they decide to put out there for a title match), and I'm not at all convinced that Cena doesn't get the win right back a month later.

    ReplyDelete
  115. Punk could probably demand a fuck-ton of money right now if he were interested.

    ReplyDelete
  116. Yeah, they were getting silly. At least once someone was climbing to stop two guys at the top of the ladder and Cena ran over and started punching the third guy. Wouldn't you want to stop the two at the top?

    ReplyDelete
  117. 14 guys in ladder matches tonight and only one of them makes for a credible champion.

    ReplyDelete
  118. Funny how all the Mania goodwill went poof in three months.

    ReplyDelete
  119. Heyman's fantastic, I'll just hate seeing Cena grin like a doofus during their face to face promos.

    ReplyDelete
  120. Watching the replay... every single one of those guys in the first MitB match tonight looked like a star. Just an amazing match. Very little psychology, sure, but each guy had a moment to shine and made the most of it.

    I know you can't push every one of those guys at the same time, but I don't know how you don't give extended or renewed pushes to Rollins, Ambrose, and Ziggler, who looks like he's been tutored by Steamboat as his posture/facial expression selling has improved big time. RVD had a few turn back the clock moments and Swagger played the role of antagonist well. Kofi is Kofi.

    I think it's clear how well some heel/face turns would do for Orton and Sheamus. Orton is great in his loveable sociopath role and Sheamus is really damn good in his belittling brawler role of years past. Hopefully, they'll shake things up soon.

    ReplyDelete
  121. Worst_in_the_WorldJune 29, 2014 at 10:31 PM

    I think there's a good chance they've worked out a deal with Brock to wrestle once a month maybe til Mania. Brock as champ defending the title once a month makes perfect sense with their new Network business model. If this indeed is what's going on, it could be pretty awesome and help their subscriber numbers a lot.

    ReplyDelete
  122. Reigns noticably improves by the year, but yeah, he's definitely untested in singles matches so far. He could be Khali in the ring and they'd still have strapped the rocket, though.

    ReplyDelete
  123. And Daniel Bryan saying, "I don't know when I will be back...apparently, I might need more surgery"...oh boy...

    ReplyDelete
  124. I really hope so. I don't think it's impossible...if he skips house shows, Smackdowns, and the occasional Raw here or there, it's not even that much traveling. But I'm not optimistic.

    ReplyDelete
  125. Oh geez, that was such a horrible way to start the show. I was really hoping he was announcing he'd be back soon, maybe challenging the MitB winner at Battleground.

    ReplyDelete
  126. The time is now to get the belts on The Dusts. One way or another. The Usos should become one person and win the US title somehow. She amuse having the totle does nothing for him or the belt. Let the Usos win it and defend it under USO rules which means you face either Jimmy or Jey or both Jimmy and Jey or Jey then Jimmy. Basically the only important thing to know is that they will be doing a long Samoan song and dance before the match starts. When I say U you say who cares. U!

    ReplyDelete
  127. They purposefully withheld on Cena/Undertaker that whole time because they knew they couldn't avoid putting Cena over.

    ReplyDelete
  128. And then pulling him off the stage using Bo Dallas...ugh.

    ReplyDelete
  129. Worst_in_the_WorldJune 29, 2014 at 10:35 PM

    It's nuts how over Ziggler still is, right? Man, why isn't he getting at least the babyface push that Sheamus is? Sheamus basically gets heel reactions despite consistently getting pushed almost to the moon. Put Ziggler in that role (babyface US champ who wins most of his TV matches) and fans would absolutely buy him as a main eventer in a way that they absolutely don't buy Sheamus as.

    ReplyDelete
  130. When Punk went to the higher-ups and told them that his body was starting to physically break down, they responded by giving him the #1 spot in the Rumble, making him work 45+ minutes, and having him take a table bump that would lead to a heatless feud with Kane. Unless they're backing a dump truck full of money to his house AND giving him some sort of creative control, he's not coming back. Ever.

    ReplyDelete
  131. Worst_in_the_WorldJune 29, 2014 at 10:37 PM

    Yeah I don't get the point of this Bryan appearance at all. Just to come out and deflate the crowd a bit? He didn't do or say anything cool or interesting, he just came out and smiled through some shitty news. Pointless.

    ReplyDelete
  132. They can't take any chances with him. They need to keep him out until the Rumble and not bring him back a moment sooner.

    ReplyDelete
  133. I think it was a formal way to write him off and tell everyone not to get their hopes up for Summerslam.

    ReplyDelete
  134. The Daniel Bryan thing killed him and the heatless Del Rio feud just buried him further.

    ReplyDelete
  135. Was just watching the replay. Did Cole actually just say, "You don't know what these two are capable of...and it's not like you can actually SCOUT Stardust!"

    ReplyDelete
  136. Also, I hope they experiment next month if the plan is Cena-Brock. You never know what you might stumble onto. The Henry faux retirement and R Truth turning psycho immediately come to mind as one month feuds that sparked something.

    ReplyDelete
  137. The more likely scenario is that it's a repeat of Extreme Rules where Cena's beaten within an inch of his life and still manages to pull out a desperation win, only for Rollins to cash in on him.

    ReplyDelete
  138. HHH's shovel > crowd reactions.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment