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| A True Blood A Day Keeps The Fangs Away... |
While I...erm...my wildly handsome friend, is not too concerned seeing as how my...his...vices lay in the realm of salty snacks, self promotion, and the occasional adjournment to another dimension, which don't show up on 10 drug panel tests, he still finds himself worried because he may have smoked a little ganja a week ago. The internet leads him to believe the best way to make sure he don't have a problem, is to drink more water than he ever drank before - but not enough to explode, 'Slither' style.
So, lets talk about home remedies to generally unsolvable problems.
What are your go-to home remedies, old wives tales, 'life hacks' and 'eastern medicine' style techniques when it comes to dealing with life's often times unsolvable problems.
...inb4 "chastising Meekin is good for the soul".
If you're looking to save money, I heard a rumor someone ON THIS VERY BLOG has a way to save money by CUTTING THE CORD from the cable companies, and I personally would love to hear more about it.
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I SWEAR by drinking a big thing of Gatorade after a night of drinking. Not that I drink a lot, but when and if I do, pounding the Gatorade before bed seems to eliminate almost all the shitty side-effects of a hangover outside of the poops, which certainly beats a headache, stomach ache, and need to puke.
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Not sure if anyone else ever gets that 'dry eye' thing where it feels like something is in the bottom corner of your eye, so you rub it, then it hurts, then it hurts more, so you rub it, but I tend to use a wet, warm, facecloth and just drape the whole thing over my face and breath in the warm, moist, air. After about 10-15 minutes it feels pretty good, and if you go outside for a bit of fresh air after that, you're good.
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When I was a kid I used to get woken up by Charlie Horses in my leg. Being..11 I didn't know what a Charlie Horse was, only that it hurt so terribly that I often times couldn't sleep out of fear of waking up in the middle of the night with my left or right left in incredible, crampy, pain. I eventually discovered the key to this is just to stretch your leg against the way the cramp is pulling your leg, and you'll be fine.
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Also for what it's worth, and I made a vow not to bring up my DDP Yoga shit anymore, but the whole breathing thing he encourages (and probably cribbed from somewhere else) is insanely beneficial to pretty much any kind of anxiety or nervousness. See how slowly you can breath in while extending your stomach out, then see how slowly you can do the same while breathing out. Do this 4-5 times if you're trying to sleep and can't, while ignoring any and all itches or impulses to move, and you'll be in la la land in no time.
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Lastly, for all you romantically disinclined fellahs out there, I had a fairly fascinating conversation with a girl at a party the other day about the most appropriate rhythm to...flick the bean the too. We eventually settled on the realization that pretty much everything in Marvin Gaye's discography is fantastic, and anything with double bass is a good way to have a bad time.
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Secondly I've more-or-less sworn by the "Three questions and an answer" method when it comes to courtship. I.E if you're on a date or talking to someone you're attracted too, the idea is to keep them talking about themselves more than you talk about yourself - thereby by the time the night is over and you're leaving, or waking up and putting your pants on, the girl will realize she actually doesn't know all that much about you, which makes you mysterious and intriguing.
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Also, the truth is that your dog doesn't like me more than you, it's just I keep bacon in my front pocket.
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It's worth noting that most of these probably have quite a lot to do with the power of suggestion. If you believe something will work with all your heart, most of the time it will. So even if your own personal home remedies are medical quackary, but they work for you, tell us! Maybe we'll like em'.
What say you, Otters?
Oh, if anyone here meditates I'd like to hear how that works out for folks.
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More MeekinOnMovies:
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10 Gaming Franchises That Suffer From Extreme Over-Complication
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My personal facebook if you feel so inclined.
chasting Meekin is go...
ReplyDeletenm
I am aware of that spelling error. and It has been fixed. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteI wasn't aware "cutting the cable cord" was an eastern medicine practice.
ReplyDeleteReading all that has removed any desire for bean flicking I may have had
ReplyDeleteFor me, I take two tylenol, a multivitamin, and a bottle of water before going to bed, and don't wake up with a hangover. Granted, if I pass out, I can't really do it.
ReplyDeleteTNA
ReplyDeleteYou're essentially asking how to beat a drug test. Just come out and say it man. All you had to say. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTT0u44bH4s
ReplyDeleteHe was solid in Punch Drunk Love
ReplyDeletebut my 'friend' is in a strange position where the drug test is looking the amphetimines I'm supposed to be taking, but not the doobie. Anddd I can't click that link at work.
ReplyDeleteIt's second cousin to the tried and true wax-on wax-off method.
ReplyDeleteNot sure how you're doing it Jessy but if a guy is using his mico-weiner to flick your bean, you're dating the guy from My Left Foot.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you regarding the lack of marketing of the Brawl for All. It was a complete dreck as well as an opportunity for those in attendance to freshen their beer.
ReplyDeleteAfter a night of drinking and I just had beer, I"ll generally take two Tylenol and drink two big glasses of water. I'll then try my best to work out first thing when I wake up.
ReplyDeleteIf I mix in shots, it generally doesn't matter.
"and I made a vow not to bring up my DDP Yoga shit anymore"
ReplyDeleteWhy not? Wasn't the blog at some point going to do it together? I thought that would be a lot of fun.
I think he overshared too much.
ReplyDeleteDrink a gallon of paint thinner with bleach and rat poison added.
ReplyDeleteNow what was the question?
Pray and watch wrestling......and to cure depression: X-Box
ReplyDeleteI did the two posts a week a part, someone suggested a weekly thread, I made that weekly thread, I told Mick to hang himself, and that was that.
ReplyDeleteThe idea was that someone else was going to do that thread, but I missed that detail.
They'd already had Hardy for years at that point.
ReplyDeleteHe'd alredy been TNA champion. It wasn't them Capitilizing on a newly free agent. It was turning to a wwe reject they'd ALREADY TRIED.
At least Aries was over. Jeff was shit on Bound for Glory
I guess Farva thought that message was for him?
ReplyDelete"Three questions and an answer"--- I've read about this elsewhere and it works. Get people to talk about themselves and just listen and they'll come away raving about how good at conversation you are.
ReplyDeleteIf I'm in a bad mood, it's sad, but I watch wrestling.
ReplyDeleteI have busty gorgeous supermodels as my personal servants and I currently control the lost treasure of the knight's templar. I don't have to deal with your nonsense.
ReplyDeleteYeah, the Kane one-day reign just made him look a lot weaker (especially since he did the clean job to Undertaker at WrestleMania a few months prior), and really hurt him in the long run, when it became clear that Kane was just NOT seen as being on the same level as the other Main Event talent- despite being treated like a monster, he is nearly always consistently losing his feuds to any REAL top-tier guys.
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting how rapidly Austin always came back from being beaten or humiliated, however. Given that WCW at the time, and WWE today, nearly always makes sure the babyface looks weak more often than not, it's odd watching Austin completely annihilate the heels and how if he's beaten once, he'll ALWAYS get revenge on the very next show. It almost has the opposite effect- Austin gobbled up some of his heel opposition (which is why it was good that McMahon, a non-wrestler, was usually the victim) and diminished their credibility, while the rest of the time it's the BABYFACES who are getting crushed.
I mean, even John Cena takes more ass-kickings than Austin did back then.
World Cup TJ: amazing effort by the Mexican team, especially their goalkeeper.
ReplyDeleteI cribbed this from Jim Belushi's book on dating. Yes that Jim Belushi. My speech coach bought it for a performance I had to give once and I found myself loving it quite a bit.
ReplyDeleteIt didn't take itself seriously as all, which was nice, and a lot of the advice was pretty common sense, but it was nice to hear it from a generally maligned fellah like Belushi, who makes a point to say "Well, every woman I meet either has no idea who I am, and I'm just a big fat schlub, or worse, they DO know who I am, and I'm a big, fat, schlub who's less talented then my brother".
I relied on my magic pee and fast metabolism. If you're fat and you smoke weed consistently, you're fucked.
ReplyDeleteReading about the Brawl For All in Bob Holly's book was fascinating, because he says the boys were HUGELY interested in it, given that it was finally going to answer the questions they'd all had in the backs of their minds. It'd also help them figure out who was LEGIT tough and who was just talking tough.
ReplyDeleteEverywhere else you'll only read the negatives, and for good reason. Boring fights, nonsensical rules, and the ruination of several angles and pushes due to injuries or unexpected KOs... it was a disaster. One of those books that lists all of wrestling's legit "Tough Guys" ripped into it as well, and commented that Bradshaw was doing a lot of cheating or using cheap punches or something like that.
Weed cures all minor ailments I have. I would never want a job that drug tested. Thats lame. Also none of those things work, the best you can do is piss back out water but they'll make you redo the test.
ReplyDeleteEven WWE can't see as anything but a disaster like the great highlight on the "Biggest Blunders" Countdown with folks going "Who decided to make this for real?!" and such.
ReplyDeleteNot constantly, just once last week!
ReplyDeleteBest way to pass a drug test? Don't do drugs !! (Sorry, I'm pretty straight edge when it comes to weed, but see that I'm in the minority here.)
ReplyDeleteYeah I generally avoid it too just because it tends to make me paranoid and hate myself a bit, but I ended up smoking a bit last week in a moment where I forgot I COULD be drug tested by my neurologist dude.
ReplyDeleteSlug-ass Brawl for All gets a point, but Ellering SWERVE on LOD doesn't? Even if both teams suck, this is the equivalent of JJ Dillon turning on the Horsemen for NWA fans.
ReplyDeleteAwesome game and incredible work from Mexican GK.
ReplyDeleteIt's quite simple Beaker, just knock your doctor out with a crowbar and walk away.
ReplyDeleteOut of curiosity, what's the worst the neurologist could do? And why does he care?
ReplyDeleteDepends on how good the stuff was as well, but if it has been a week, I think you will be alright.
ReplyDeleteJob interview to be a neurologist?
ReplyDeleteIn March it took three tombstones to beat Kane. Three months later, it's lights out after one stunner.
ReplyDeleteIt was really nice of those girls to teach poor Meekin how to properly stimulate his vagina.
ReplyDeletei used taco bell sauce on qdoba tacos. your argument is invalid!
ReplyDeleteThey missed each other by like 3 months.
ReplyDeleteOchoa probably earned himself a move to a big European club with that performance. For a 0-0, that was a really fun match.
ReplyDeleteI think that was one of the dirtsheet rumors at the time with them facing Owen & Yoko.
ReplyDeleteQOTD-JACK!
ReplyDeleteWhat is Ric Flair's BEST moment from WWE, post-2001 comeback?
His retirement.
ReplyDeleteSuperman Punch (which will be renamed bc they can't trademark it) will be as corny as Five Knuckle Shuffle in 2 years with the way they're writing Reigns character.
ReplyDeleteThere's a lot of cases like that if a show runs long enough. A few writers left Friends after season 4 and the show went down the shitter. Bryan Fuller left Heroes and the show went to shit. Eric Kripke left Supernatural after season 5. RTD left Dr Who after David Tennant left.
ReplyDeleteYeah, that "I'm sorry, I love you" thing is one of those moments that is absolutely brilliant. Once. On repeats it gets less and less good.
ReplyDeleteOnly if they give it a name that sounds like a euphemism for masturbation.
ReplyDeleteTJ: is the new series of 24 accessible to new viewers or will I just be confused and shouldn't bother
ReplyDeleteWell, why not? Austin was basically being written like a traditional comic book superhero, and it was selling like nothing other than Hogan, who was written the same basic way, had done in wrestling history. The Kane angle fit in more or less the same way: McMahon *finally* gets one over on Austin by putting him in an unwinnable match with a monster, Austin appears to be beaten, but then he comes back to outsmart his foes (goading Kane into a rematch) and prevails once again in the end.
ReplyDeleteRetirement match and farewell. Easy.
ReplyDeleteI could absolutely see that happening, too.
ReplyDelete(and it blows my mind that he doesn't have a contract with any club at the moment)
No way they waste that kind of "push" on Dolph.
ReplyDeleteMy prediction: he goes to Barcelona as their new keeper to replace Valdes.
ReplyDeleteI finally worked out who Cody as Stardust reminded me of: Phantasio.
ReplyDeleteEither the Austin match or the TLC match with Edge. He had a slew of great matches.
ReplyDeleteReignmaker?
ReplyDeleteWe can agree to disagree on that one, because it seems like the textbook definition of bullying. I get it, you want to rationalize away the fact that you were a bully.
ReplyDeletewhen he channeled his inner buck nasty and had a limo of ladies after winning the IC belt
ReplyDeletecomplete with viagra
I like to think God put people who do that sort of thing (let's call them bullies) on earth so that they could be punched in the face.
ReplyDeleteIf wanting the Raw women's division to be as good as NXT makes me some sort of radical feminist... Well, I already have the right haircut.
ReplyDeleteI don't have a problem with the blog specifically or EVERYONE who posts here. I wish flair4dagold still posted, I like comdukakis, love-maticgrandpa, kyle warne, and adam curry. I don't agree with everyone but that's fine.
ReplyDeleteWow, it's like you know me from two posts.
ReplyDeleteIs that you Foley?
ReplyDeleteIf it led to some of those guys losing weight later in life I'd actually consider myself a hero.
ReplyDeleteAnger Management was actually pretty good, though Jack Nicholson deserves some of the credit for that.
ReplyDeleteThat guy quit shortly after Summerslam
ReplyDeletei wouldn't say you'd be confused, as what happens makes sense within the world of this season, but there are definite references and callbacks that help this world make more sense
ReplyDeletefeel free to ask along the way, though
It wasn't so much for the turn, but how poorly that segment was laid out. It was like "Here's Paul Ellering. He just arrived and TURN!"
ReplyDeleteLMS against HHH at survivor series. I love that match.
ReplyDeleteRecapping these shows from 1996 onward for the blog has really made me see how awful the LOD run was from 1997-1998. They failed to beat Owen & Bulldog for the belts, had an awful feud with the Godwinns that lasted forever, briefly won the titles and lost them to the New Age Outlaws (fine by me because at least it was the company taking a chance on a new act) and then couldn't get any commupance, and then they were repackaged as LOD 2000 with Sunny, but that went nowhere. Then the WWE brings in Ellering and you think "well, maybe they are getting back to their roots" and then Ellering turns to side with DOA, who were also big losers, and that produces a year-long feud no one cares about and highlights Hawk's drug problem and he falls off the Titantron in November.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, it was terrible. I think the LOD had the "do these guys still have it?" gimmick for more than a year in the late 1990s. Even Jim Ross was baffled as to how to put them over.
The retirement match and celebration, but the HHH cage match for the IC title and street fight with Undertaker at Wrestlemania are close seconds.
ReplyDeleteAnd if someone killed themselves you won't lose sleep over it.
ReplyDeleteI gotta take a whizz test for my PO. I know I failed, 'cause I just smoked major weed, bro.
ReplyDeleteThat's brilliant!
ReplyDeleteThey'll never think of it. They'll go with "Bop-it!"
I was saying that last night so it's good to see someone concurs. I used "Spellbinder," though, which was Phantasio's USWA gimmick.
ReplyDeleteI don't think so. You can theoretically hit that move out of nowhere, versus the Five Knuckle Shuffle, which is a poor man's People's Elbow.
ReplyDeleteWWE has NEVER created the "next big star" since Hogan, it always ends up being the guy in the background that they half ass then retconn into saying he was always the next big star.
ReplyDeleteWasn't Bam Bam guaranteed a title run from that? I remember reading that and then he ran into problems because none of the guys wanted to job to the guy that lost to a football player.
ReplyDeleteBigelow looked SOOOOO out of place with HBK and Diesel in the summer of 1995. His position reminded me of Sting desperately trying to be cool when in the ring with Hogan and Savage in '95. Only difference is that by the end of the year, Sting had Luger to partner with. Bigelow was out of the company.
Or Elimination Chamber 2012 where the main event was an Ambulance match.
ReplyDeleteIt sucked after everyone replicated Edge's way of winning the title.
ReplyDeleteHHH cage.
ReplyDeleteat the time nobody cared. Imagine having a legendary tag-team be reduced to basically jobbers or JTTS today. Wouldn't happened. They would get pushed to the moon and squash every young hot act. Twas a different time that is for sure.
ReplyDeleteOh screw you pal, I'm hilarious!
ReplyDeleteAnd somewhat informative!
Since when did the default YouTube player become so large?
ReplyDeleteI've never had to take a drug test, it's not a very common requirement in Canada, but from what I've heard there isn't a lot that you can do to beat it.
ReplyDeleteSucks about the testing. I respect that weed isn't for everyone, but it's definitely for me. Just a little, before bed generally.
For such a great tourney bracket, it went to hell quickly. Savio Vega made a miracle run to the finals and we didn't get Undertaker-HBK, which was a dream match at the time. Hell, we didn't even get Undertaker-Kama, who were feuding at the time! I was rooting for Bob Holly!
ReplyDeleteI remember eagerly tuning in to RAW the next night since I didn't get the PPV (parents refused to buy them) and they had all the photos with Vince talking. I was hoping to see King Undertaker or King HBK or even King Holly (I liked the race car gimmick for some reason), but instead I saw that freakin' Mabel won the thing. I was like "what in the blue hell!??!?!"
ReplyDeleteI'm still expecting Dolph to just lose it at some point.
ReplyDeleteYawning implies that the woman is bored during his golden showers or while choking on his penis.
ReplyDeleteThe biggest plot hole was how damn long it took Vickie to get the coffee to them. It took 15-20 minutes!
ReplyDeleteAnd they really didn't even create Hogan. They just acquired him from the AWA when he was a hot commodity.
ReplyDeleteFor drinking, I knock back a big bottle of water (ideally Evian or similar legit spring source), take an Advil, and then fruit juice in the morning, and glorious coffee. If I can get at least a few hours of sleep then I'm good to go. If I don't get sleep then there is no remedy in the world.
ReplyDeleteEither way, as soon as I'm feeling half human I want a greasy garbage meal.
And I make an off and on habit of taking vitamin C
ReplyDeleteOr the head-writer gets turfed out and things go to shit.
ReplyDeleteSee Community, for example.
I'd actually take Vince for humor, dude is super funny.
ReplyDeleteAnd you still suck Meekin, for writing this vanity column, to tell us stories about you, followed by links to you.
ReplyDeleteThis was actually the first show fererra and Russo wrote together. Ed started the nihjy before at King of the ring.
ReplyDeleteI might hazard to say 50 First Dates. Only because I swear Drew Barrymore could have a natural chemistry with anyone.
ReplyDeleteIf it was over that then no not at all.
ReplyDeleteIs it wrong that I would legitimately watch that?
ReplyDeleteThey were right to put the belt back on Austin. Kane shouldn't have won it in the first place.
ReplyDeleteBrawl-For-All should have been saved for Shotgun or the other B-shows.
I like the Val stuff. Sue me
Damn you!
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU. *upvote*
ReplyDeleteGetting no sleep and still having to function is one of the worst feelings in the world, drinking or not. Ugh, I hate it so much.
ReplyDeleteIf it makes you feel any better I also forgot kbjone and paralax.
ReplyDeleteSuccess has many fathers, but failure is an orphan. It's more likely that you lead them down bad paths than a good one. I didn't start working out daily for any other reason than I wanted a better, happier life.
ReplyDeleteIf anything, you had a negative effect. I've known plenty of people who didn't want to start working out at a gym because of rich kid douchebag jocks.
It's a schedule 2 drug, my assumption is that your neurologist wants to make sure that you're not abusing it.
ReplyDeleteHere's hoping you fail said drug test, lose access to Adderrall and lose the ability to focus and write anymore of these horseshit "questions" posing as your personal diary.
ReplyDeleteWhen I'm going out into places with lots of strangers and\or strange females, my ancient chinese secret is to do a few lines of coke and drink a couple vodka and red bulls. Works every time.
ReplyDeleteSo, to summarize, you're worried about failing a drug test, post under your real name on the Internet to a forum stating such, and aren't worried about the company running a Google Search and the ensuing results that might entail. Lord, you're a strange one.
ReplyDeleteGenerally speaking, sports drinks like Gatorade and Powerade are what you should be drinking in addition to water. They replace the sodium your body is being stripped of while drinking. Eggs are usually a good follow-up the morning after.
ReplyDeleteAlso: If you meet a woman and she can't "flick the bean" to Slayer, she isn't worth knowing. Raining blood, man. Raining blood.
ReplyDeleteAnd Austin was the biggest money-drawing character in the history of the company, so they did something right. Would you rather see Daniel Bryan laid out 7 shows in a row like happened last fall?
ReplyDeleteAlso, Austin had his share of eating shit moments. He was arrested a million times, fawns pinned by taker and Kane and then fired in late 98, lost at survivor series 98, lost to Vince at the royal rumble and in a match on raw before st valentines massacre, and also won that match only due to Paul wight throwing him through the cage.
Babyfaces are supposed to be smarter than the heels. Not get a dig at steph, she has a scripted comeback line and then the face cowers with his tail between his or her legs like what happens nearly every week on TV now. At least roman reigns outsmarted them this week (though technically he only outsmarted Vickie).
Yeah, I wasn't arguing AGAINST Austin beating up the bad guys (especially because again, it was usually a non-wrestler taking a beating), just that it's interesting how it's so different. And Austin's success DOES put a fine point on just how effective it can be to have a strong babyface contender.
ReplyDeleteI remember many of Austin's humiliations (Survivor Series when Shane turned on him, etc.), but as I noted, he ALWAYS came flying back the next week to get revenge. Nowadays, you're lucky if Bryan could manage one moment of revenge per month. That helped make his WrestleMania moment a little bigger, naturally, but I'd rather the faces not get humiliated almost every week.
Man, I hope Hulu takes the plunge and picks up Community.
ReplyDeleteI need one more season, dammit!
Probably 12 bucks a month.
ReplyDeleteHell, it's only 10 and I'm still iffy on the matter.
I understand how my mom felt going to those shows with me.
ReplyDeleteThe last taping I went to was absolutely torture.
And those same people defending Austin's constant no selling of those losses/beatings are turning right around and hating Cena for doing the exact same thing. Ah, Pro-Attitude Era hypocrisy...
ReplyDeletehttp://theiddm.files.wordpress.com/2012/08/mike-mearls-twitter.png
ReplyDeleteWell, the difference is that Cena isn't remotely as entertaining as Austin was at this time, so it's kind of dumb to pretend it's the same thing.
ReplyDeleteAustin was entertaining to all fans.
ReplyDeleteJohn Cena is not.
The issue there is that Cena's been doing it for SO LONG- his run is what, three times the length of Austin's Main Event run by this point? Austin was injured repeatedly and turned heel within a few years. Cena's ALWAYS around. And problematically, Cena gets a shitload of verbal hate from the fans, to a level that Austin & Daniel Bryan never have.
ReplyDelete