(As requested, week 2 of the Monday Night Wars show from 24/7)
The SmarK 24/7 Rant for the Monday Night Wars - September 11 1995
- So one of the reasons why this channel likely would have annoyed me in the long run anyway (besides the god-awful "Large and In Charge” motif for April) is that they're resetting the Monday Night Wars shows all the way back to the beginning in 1995 again. So instead of two 97/98 era shows per month, it's now one show per month and two 95 era shows. Like I really want to watch 1995 RAWs again. (I didn’t really want to watch 94 RAWs either but here I am slogging through THAT bullshit for y’all.) But in the spirit of "review everything before it's done next week", I figured I might as well do weeks 2 and 3 of the Monday Night Wars. On the bright side, it's only 90 minutes total for both shows instead of the unwieldy 3.5 hours or so it's up to now. (Yeah, sadly Sasktel dropped 24/7 before I could get very far into this series.)
WCW Monday Nitro!
- Live from Miami, FL
- Your hosts are Uncle Eric, Mongo and the Brain. Sounds like a morning radio show, actually.
- I should note that although the first show from the mall was a drastically different look for a wrestling show, this show looks 100% like any episode I've ever seen of Nitro, minus the nWo logos everywhere. They really hit the formula right off the bat.
Sabu v. Alex Wright
Sabu takes Wright down and chokes him right away, then hits a springboard kneedrop and a rana that puts them on the floor. Sabu follows with a baseball slide and somersault press, then dives off a chair and splats on the railing. Wright with a dropkick and he comes back in with a missile dropkick to put Sabu on the floor again. Wright baseball slides him and follows with a tentative tope, but Sabu goes up, so Wright brings him in with a superplex. Sabu sends him into the turnbuckles and gets a springboard leg lariat, but Wright hits the german suplex for two. Wright goes up, but Sabu brings him down with a weak victory roll off the top for the pin at 4:00. What was that shitty finish? Fast-paced and crazy before that, though. **1/2 Sabu puts him through a table afterwards, so they reverse the decision. Weak sauce.
Ric Flair comes out to talk about his disappointment in Arn Anderson's behavior as of late, but Lex Luger quickly interrupts and has nothing to say. OK then.
Sting v. VK Wallstreet
Oh, in case you're tempted to change the channel, Shawn Michaels beats the big guy with a superkick that wouldn't win a green belt at the local YMCA. (What, like Warrior’s alternate-color WWF title belt?) Sting controls with armdrags and Wallstreet bails. Back in, Wallstreet tosses Sting, but Sting springboards back in with a sloppy clothesline. Wallstreet elbows him down again and drops elbows, but Sting reverses a samoan drop into a sunset flip for two. Sting rams him into the turnbuckles and drives him into the corner with a high knee, and the Stinger splash follows. High cross finishes at 4:06. Didn't they just have a big promo for Wallstreet in the first show and build him up as a big deal? *1/2 (Things change fast in WCW! That’s why they’re #1!)
Scott Norton v. Randy Savage
Norton attacks and gets a short clothesline, then blocks a sunset flip with a two-handed choke. Savage comes back with a hiptoss and clotheslines him out, then back in with a pretty nice clothesline that Norton actually SELLS. Savage to the top, but Norton catches him in a bearhug and pounds the back. Powerbomb gets two. Norton hits a backbreaker and carries him up into a press slam, and a powerslam gets two. Bischoff has this ridiculous deathly serious concern going for Savage's back, even though the match is only 3 minutes in. Savage bails and Norton brings him back in with Randy Orton's DDT, then goes up. Savage faceplants him on the way down and hits a high knee to the back, but the Dungeon of Doom runs in. Sharkalanche falls on top of Norton, pinning him down, and Savage drops the big elbow for the pin at 5:39. That is a truly retarded finish. Norton wouldn't even lay down for the pinfall finish without an additional 400 pound guy on top of him. **
WCW World title: Hulk Hogan v. Lex Luger
Mongo notes that if you've never watched a wrestling match in your life before, you should get on the edge of your seat and watch this one. Wouldn't it be assumed that you've seen a wrestling match before in your life, given that there's been three of them in this show so far? Mongo makes my ears bleed. Luger goes with the headlock and catches Hogan with a suplex, but Hulk no-sells it. Lex with another headlock as Mongo notes that "the owners of WCW aren't fining these guys for excessive hitting". What the FUCK is this guy talking about? (Given a couple of years to think about it, I’m guessing he was saying that WCW’s brass were encouraging hard-hitting action by not levying fines against those who hit too hard?) Luger with a powerslam and he's already go the rack, but Lex releases too soon and acts like he's won. He gets two instead and it's time to Hulk up. Big boot and legdrop, but the Dungeon runs in AGAIN for the DQ at 5:30. *
- So we take a break, and with everyone upset at Luger for not getting attacked, Mean Gene comes out for the interview. Hogan and Savage are all over Lex, but Sting sticks up for him and wants him to be a part of the Hogan team for WarGames. Again I ask: Who was so stupid not to put Sting & Luger v. Hogan & Savage on PPV in a giant stadium? Anyway, of course it turned out that Luger and Jimmy Hart really were in cahoots with the Dungeon, so there's one rare bit of forethought from the WCW bookers.
WWF Monday Night RAW!
- Taped from somewhere "two or three weeks ago" according to Bischoff. (Probably even four, actually.)
- Your hosts are Vince & King, green-screened in at ringside in an awful-looking open. It's the new fall season, you know.
Razor Ramon v. The British Bulldog
Ramon works the arm with an armbar, but Bulldog whips him into the corner and follows with a delayed suplex. Bulldog works on the back, but Ramon slugs him down, so Bulldog clotheslines him for two. Bulldog with a press slam and we take a break, and return with him getting a slam for two. He sets up for the powerslam, but Razor grabs the ropes and falls on top for two. Bulldog slams him again and goes up, but Ramon slams him off the top and slugs him down. Fallaway slam gets two. Ramon comes back and the ref gets bumped, allowing Ramon to hit the Razor's Edge. Dean Douglas runs in and hits Ramon off the top, however, and takes out the 1-2-3 Kid as an afterthought, allowing Bulldog to get the powerslam. Kid comes off the top and hits Ramon by accident, and it's a DQ at 7:10. What is this, a competition to see who can come up with the lamest finishes tonight? Slow and dull. (Wasn’t that the name of the Batista/Orton team?) *1/2
- Vince follows up with a hard-hitting interview of the spurned lovers, as Kid is sick of getting treated like dirt by Ramon and challenges him to a match next week.
The Smoking Gunns v. Rad Radford & The Brooklyn Brawler
Billy gets tossed to start , but Bart slingshots him back in off an irish whip in a really slick spot. Someone should swipe that. Bart comes in and runs into a knee from Radford, as the grungry jobbers take over and Vince makes pop culture references so we totally know that it's totally not taped. Brawler goes up and gets slammed off by Bart, and Billy pounds him in the corner, then the Gunns finish with the Sidewinder at 3:00. *
Isaac Yankem DDS v. Scott Taylor
Taylor of course went on to fame as Scotty 2 Hotty. Yankem chokes away on the ropes and drops an elbow, then uses a hangman choke before dropping Taylor on the top rope. Yankem with the DDS to finish at 1:46.
WWF Intercontinental title: Shawn Michaels v. Sid
Thanks to that bastard Bischoff I already know the finish now! Although more accurately at the time I already knew the finish because of the internet. Shawn evades Sid and gets a flying clothesline, then slugs him out of the ring. Back in, Shawn can't knock him down and gets tossed, but skins the cat back in and dropkicks Sid out again. Back in, Sid grabs a headlock and chokes away in the corner, then whips him into the other corner and out of the ring, then drops him on the apron. Dibiase gets his cheapshots in and they milk the countout tease, but Shawn heads back in and we take a break. We return with Sid holding a bearhug, but Shawn fights out, so Sid chokeslams him. Sid calls for the belt and I'm shocked Vince didn't run down and yell at him for calling it that. It's a CHAMPIONSHIP, Sid, don't you attend the meetings? Sid sets up for the powerbomb, but Shawn fights out and gets the flying forearm before going up. Flying bodypress gets two. Shawn gives him three superkicks to put him down, and that gets the pin at 7:21. Hey, just like Bischoff said! This was fine. **1/2
The Verdict:
It's not like Nitro was doing anything revolutionary at that point in terms of the presentation. It was the same stupid run-in finishes that RAW was presenting and the same dumb booking mistakes, but at least it wasn't stale and boring like RAW. RAW gets the best match of the week with Shawn v. Sid, so it's a very close win for RAW. Both shows were pretty crappy, though.
Razor/Bulldog is a pretty cool pairing. Shame we never saw a proper PPV match between them.
ReplyDeleteI've always had a real hard time watching these early Nitros, because I end up spending the whole time trying to figure out what the fuck Mongo is talking about.
ReplyDeleteAnd seriously, how fucking easy would it have been to do Sting and Luger vs MegaPowers? And of course, Luger and Savage turn on their partners in the match so you can turn it around and do Sting/Hogan vs Savage/Luger at the next PPV.
ReplyDeleteJust keep working your way through all 4 of them until you get to Sting vs Hogan the blow it all off.
"Not fining these guys for excessive hitting"...that has to be an NFL reference. It's become an even bigger issue the past few years, but every old generation of football fan thinks the current league is too harsh on hard hits and defense in general.
ReplyDeleteWell if Mongo *were* to say something that made sense, you better believe it would be football-related.
ReplyDeleteId like to know who thought adding Mongo to the Horsemen was smart...
ReplyDeleteSmarter than putting him on *commentary*.
ReplyDeleteAlthough not much smarter.
ReplyDeleteHe fit like a glove into the Horsemen. Way better choice than someone like Malenko.
ReplyDeleteI thought Malenko was in the Horsemen...
ReplyDeleteI can see this being a decent reason...
ReplyDeleteHe was. I'm saying he was better than him. As far as worst Horsemen ever, Malenko is barely a step above Roma.
ReplyDeleteMalenko was definitely not a great fit but Mongo was awful. I almost feel like Bischoff was trolling Flair with that addition...
ReplyDeleteFlair loved Mongo in the Horsemen.
ReplyDeleteReally?!
ReplyDeleteIt was on one of the DVDs.
ReplyDeleteThar was easily the worst incarnation of the Horsemen...
ReplyDeleteNo way. Flair/AA/Benoit/Mongo were great.
ReplyDeleteAt least Roma was a legit wrestler during the 80s boom. How can he gets so much shit and mongo doesn't??
ReplyDeleteI was speaking of Flair/Mongo/Benoit/Malenko...
ReplyDeleteYeah, Malenko didn't add anything and Mongo was a terrible babyface. Horsemen were done by that point.
ReplyDeleteShame we didn't get a longer run with Flair/AA/Benoit/Pillman
Mongo>Roma all day long.
ReplyDeleteI dunno about that...
ReplyDeleteFlair/Windham/AA/Tully still always the best for me...
ReplyDeleteProbably mine too.
ReplyDeletePlease. I'll take Mongo almost breaking some jobber's neck with a Tombstone over Roma's boring 20 minute MSG draws any day.
ReplyDeleteRoma is a better storyteller...
ReplyDeleteDing ding ding, correct answer.
ReplyDelete"Slow and dull. (Wasn't that the name of the Batista/Orton team?)"
ReplyDeleteNice.
Mongo should have said "unnecessary roughness" as this is there "excessive hitting" foul but Mongo is a complete idiot.
ReplyDeleteI thought his comment was apropos!
ReplyDeleteHIGH FIVE!
ReplyDeleteIs the Mongo comment a reference to UFC at the time? Weren't they under a bit of pressure from the government to tighten up the rules?
ReplyDeleteMongo was a big meathead with a legit sports background. I thought he fit in surprisingly well--better than Sid, and yes, better than Malenko. He was a lousy wrestler but a good heel and a good interview. And by God, he clearly had FUN doing what he was doing.
ReplyDeleteLaughed out loud. Great callback.
ReplyDeleteWithout Mongo, it was like that little old lady from the Arby's commercials who used to go "Where's the beef? Where's the beef?" Well the beef was right there baby in the WCW.
ReplyDeleteNo, no, it wasn't that, he was talking about digging around with farm implements (baby).
ReplyDeleteCoulda fooled me!
ReplyDeleteOf that was the case, I'd be talking about Sami Zayn joining the Shield for 2 weeks.
ReplyDeleteWell, yes.
ReplyDeleteI still hold McMichael's turn as one of the most shocking moments of my wrestling fandom, ever. I was a high school freshman who thought he knew everything because he had a Prodigy/RSPW account and knew real names and who Dave Meltzer was and shit. I was all worked up, weeks before the show, about how ridiculous it was that Ric Flair would have to suffer the indignity of putting over two football players. Talk about being completely blindsided. I don't recall any "smart" talk of a Mongo turn at all. So in some ways, Mongo the Horseman holds kind of a soft spot for me.
Oh yes, some of my first internet memories are of the whining and righteous indignation on RSPW over the Mongo thing.
ReplyDeleteMan, the internet has changed a lot in the last 20 years. The "IWC"... not so much.
I TALKED ABOUT THAT FOR ONE NIGHT
ReplyDeleteI'll never live that down... until I freak out about something else.
ReplyDeleteFantastic fun, Bret. I don't know what Bayless is going to do with you, but I'm looking forward to it. So.....is Archie Stackhouse.
ReplyDeleteNah, Orton is the only logical pick.
ReplyDeleteIrregardless of the fact that he's been one of the most consistently great in-ring guys of the last year or so, the guys that WWE are killing themselves to build right now are all faces and he's the most credible heel in the company (aside from HHH, who isn't a regular worker).
So whether it's Bryan getting a shot again when he returns from injury, or Reigns a few months down the line (likely after facing HHH at SummerSlam), he's the most reasonable champion to serve as the mountain the faces have to climb.
Plus, the fact that he can say he won the WWE WH belt in a TLC match TWICE in one year gives him a ton of extra cred.
BenMongo would've been a great tag team name.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I mean, HBK shat in a chick's FOOD once.
ReplyDeleteBenogo! Check out Benogo vs Faces of Fear at, I think Halloween Havoc 96. Fun match/angle.
ReplyDeleteFor that matter, why doesn't Luger get any shit? He wasn't that much farther removed from professional football than Mongo was when he joined the Horsemen.
ReplyDeleteDidn't Israel have a Prime Minister named BenMongo?
ReplyDeleteYeah, but when Lex talked, it made sense.
ReplyDeletePlus he doesn't have a retarded nickname like "Mongo".
Thanks for giving me a direction for my Network viewing. The last view times I fired up the PS4 I realized that I had no idea what I wanted to watch...
ReplyDeleteWhen you watch it, pretend the Dungeon of Doom are time travelers and are punishing Benoit for the murder/suicide. It makes the match/post match angle a lot funnier.
ReplyDelete"Lex Luger" is kind of retarded, if you stop to think about it.
ReplyDeleteYeah.
ReplyDeleteAnd I just realized that the Dungeon of Doom being babyface warriors from the future makes a TON of sense considering their main targets were Hogan and Benoit.
ReplyDeleteLex Luger is a top ten all time wrestling name.
ReplyDeleteWrestlers. They love to shit where thou shalt not... shat.
ReplyDeleteYes, and the Doomsday Cage Match from Uncensored '96 wasn't stupid, it was just that we're too primitive at this stage in history to understand all it's subtleties.
ReplyDeleteAnother Bryan/Orton match? A match we've seen a thousand times on the second biggest show of the year? SIGN ME UP!!
ReplyDeleteWhy, that's a perfectly cromulent main event for Summerfest, guy.
ReplyDeleteAnd completely original!
ReplyDeleteI guess? I'd personally rather see Wyatt win the title and have a Wyatt/Bryan rematch main eventing Summerslam for those two crazy mother fuckers to be given a chance and blow the roof off the joint.
ReplyDeleteWell so would I. But frankly we are getting Brock/Whoever.
ReplyDeleteOh no, another Orton/Bryan match. However will I deal with the plight of another awesome match between these two? Kill me now. :P
ReplyDeletePersonally, I'm cool with seeing Bryan vs. Anybody But Kane
ReplyDeleteNo one mentioned Mongo's dog, Peppy?!!!
ReplyDeleteMom? If you were in a German scheiza video...you'd tell me right?
ReplyDeleteI would have no complaints if it was on RAW every other week like it previously was, but on the second biggest PPV of the year, I don't want to see it at all. Sorry, if I PAID to watch this shit. I'm just, you know, waiting for them to push some new names. I'm just Cena'd/Orton'd out and anything involving those names I want to stay away from.
ReplyDeleteI understand why Rolllins turned heel, because all due respect to his in ring talent, he doesnt have the mic skills that ambrose has or the physical presence that reigns has, the high flying stuff is cool in team matches, but history has taught us you can't coast on that alone. At least with him being a heel it not only lets the other two excel individually at what they are good at (this is the ambrose that ive been waiting for since the first shield promo) but it forces some heat onto rollins eliminating the problem of him being left behind in the divorce.
ReplyDeleteIt's enabling Dean's transition into THE LOOSE CANNON, so it was clearly the best move they could make.
ReplyDeleteWatch them freak out and depush Dean like mad when they realise everyone prefers him to Roman Reigns in a year.
ReplyDeleteThe Meekin stuff killed me dead. I think we just found our new #1 heel. Push that man up the card stat
ReplyDeletehuh. didn't you meant to write "start to think about it"?
ReplyDelete