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Total Divas Season 1 Recap: Episode 1 - "Welcome to the WWE!"

Last week, I wrote that The Total Divas belonged on the WWE Network and, less than a week later, after Vince obviously read my piece, it was announced that the reruns of the first two seasons would, in fact, be shown on the network. So, having been a major force in changing the WWE program lineup, instead of using my newly-discovered super powers for pure evil...well, I'm still gonna take over the world and you will all do my bidding. But, first, I'm pleased to be able to review the first Total Divas seasons, starting with Episode 1, which originally aired on July 28, 2013.


For those who don't know me, I'm the girlfriend of Matt Perri who recaps Main Event each week. So, essentially, the Bella Twin to his John Cena...or Daniel Byran...or...you know, whatever. I've wanted to recap this show for a while now and this seemed like a good a time as any. 

Matt will be chiming in with his thoughts. It's the least I can let him do for making him watch this show.

Yep, I can already hear the groaning: "Total Divas? Fuck this. I'm going to Scherer's place." Trust me: that site sucks. You don't wanna go there.

Let's start!

The show gets started by introducing Brie and Nikki Bella. They're twins, they're hot, they dress alike, but they're different., and don't forget it. Brie says Nikki is more loud, Nikki says Brie is more passive, (MATT: Kinky.) foreshadowing fights to come, I'm sure. and they're shown in various outfits and winning matches.They state that they left the WWE for 11 months and that the other girls are jealous of them. 

Trinity and Ariane (AKA Naomi and Cameron) talk about how they formed the Funkadactlyls and how they became the fan favorites when the Bellas left, though they do admit that in the pyramid of the divas (those at the top/face of the company - scenes of Bellas), midcard and veterans, they are still midcard. Ariane spends an inordinate amount of time talking about Trinity's "donk" which is so big, she uses it as a weapon in the ring.

Nattie (Natalya) is shown to be a veteran, she is WWE Royalty as she the niece of Bret "The Hitman" Hart and her dad is Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart. She's trained for almost 13 years. It's her turn to shine.

The Divas proclaim themselves, "cheerleaders" and that it's fun being a Diva. 

Tampa, Florida 
10 days before Wrestlemania

Nikki states she was mentally and physically exhausted when they took time off for 11 months, she missed wrestling, and now she can't get enough.

Trinity and Ariane are in a gym, they're gonna wrestle for the first time at Wrestlemania, but they are working more on their dancing moves than fighting. Jon (AKA Jimmy Uso) is Trinity's fiance and he's there to coach the girls on their dancing (MATT: With a shit-eating grin that says, "Fuck, I love my job.") and apparently watch while they first play-fight then actually take some decent shots.

Nattie is in the ring being coached and fighting hard. Trainer Bill DeMott and her Dad, Jim, are there to give advice also. Nattie points out there is only one Diva's match at Wrestlemania (29, at time of this episode) and that how she wants to be in it. She says she's had doors slammed in her face, despite her family name and that she had much more success in other countries and wants to be big in the US.

Meanwhile, John Cena shows up to take Nikki on a date, she describes him as the most amazing man to step foot on this earth. He takes her fishing but don't seem to catch anything, seeing as though they're probably fishing in one of Florida's many man-made cesspools. They kiss in the rain and she compares their relationship to The Notebook. She convinces him to try to recreate it but doesn't seem to know a word of dialogue from the scene despite it being "her favorite scene".

(MATT: This was both sweet and amusing. You can tell that Nikki is the real "Diva" of the two sisters and would rather be shopping and getting her nails done than pretending to fish with Cena who, at one point, compliments her skimpy "fishing outfit". Because Cena knows that Nikki will cut him off from sex, she makes John Cena re-enact the scene from The Notebook -- the Caffeine Free Diet Coke of romantic epics. Nikki says it's hot to kiss in the rain and the producers, who believe we can't understand spoken English, feel compelled to give us arbitrary subtitles to go with the moment like it's a Tony Scott movie.)

Brie lives with Bryan Danielson (AKA Daniel Bryan) and they've been together 2 1/2 years. Brie walks her dog with Daniel Bryan and realizes she may need her mom to watch the dog while she's at Wrestlemania. She mentions she buys all her food from the farmer's market and is her twin's opposite. They arrive at Brie's place (they only live a mile apart) only to discover that John bought Nikki a Range Rover because rich bastard.

Brie is jealous of Nikki's gift, stroking the leather interior like it's Cena's chest and Bryan and the Bellas sit in the kitchen, talking about Nikki's new gift, peppering every sentence with the words, "Range Rover" like it's a meta-search keyword.

(MATT: Ok...hold the phone. Like Bryan couldn't march over to the dealership right now and buy Brie TWO of those?
METhat's not the point, it's romantic.
MATT: No, it isn't. It's the CVS Pharmacy teddy-bear-and-flowers for rich people. She probably found him banging a room of groupies and that was his make-up gift.
ME: Yeah...you're probably right. He probably got it for free, too.)

Brie says Nikki has wanted one before they could drive, it will make her happy and she deserves it. Brie asks if this means that Nikki and John are taking their relationship to the next level. Nikki says she doesn't know and says (to the camera) that after all he just got divorced from someone he loves. Daniel laughs that John bought her a car before an engagement ring, (though, it should be noted that, at this point, he hasn't bought Brie one, either). Nikki admits he may have done it in part to hold off having to get a ring for a while.

New York
Day One of Wrestlemania

Nattie is happy it's the first day of Wrestlemania Week and compares it to the Super Bowl. Nattie is met by Senior VP of WWE Talent Relations & Development Jane Geddes and Mark Carrano, also of WWE Talent Relations. They to talk to her and tell her she's not on the card for Wrestlemania. Nattie is near tears. They acknowledge she has family coming in to see her. They tell her there is a mixed tag match and she's not in. Instead, the Bellas and Funkadactyls are scheduled. She complains to the camera that the Bellas take off for a year and walk right in. It's even more upsetting because she taught them to wrestle.

Nattie probably thinks it can't get worse, but it's about to. Jane and Mark, instead, ask her to show the two new girls from the L.A. camp around and chaperone them because she's good enough to teach but not to wrestle. "Teach them everything you know, teach them your secrets, make them amazing, so they can take your spot," she laments.

The new girls, Eva Marie and JoJo fly in from Newark and are introduced to the other Divas. Eva Marie is from the Bay Area (so I'll have to start rooting for her more). Both girls have started training a month ago and JoJo even says she is scared being away from home for the first time. JoJo is so young and green, I'm surprised she didn't bring her teddy bear and sippy cup.

(MATT: It's sad, really. Eva Marie makes JoJo look like leftover steak that you let a pit bull get a hold of.)

Nattie pretends to be happy for Brie and says she's excited to have new girls. Eva Marie shows up with red highlights from the day before and Jane, being the wonderful feminist she is, orders Marie to color her hair blonde. Jane tells her that Nattie will show them around, Nattie tries to fake that she wants to help, and then looks even more crestfallen when Jane reveals that Eva Marie is probably going blonde. Nattie keeps saying she is the blonde, they have a blonde, and she's clearly threatened, giving a fake smile that should win her an Academy Award.

(MATT: The whole thing is really telling. Scott Keith once stated that Divas were, basically, "models that wrestle". Watching this was uncomfortable and corroborates that theory.) 

Five Days till Wrestlemania

Ariane's boyfriend, Vincent, flies in. She's nervous as he's never seen her wrestle. She has to practice, he's going to sightsee, despite just coming in from a long trip on a plane with a seat that couldn't recline. 

(MATT: Vincent is pretty Felonius Gru from Despicable Me, only a lot sweeter. We get a great bit where Ariane says that Vincent "balances" her and then we get a flashback from EARLIER TODAY where Vincent is struggling to carry 5 of her 152 pieces of luggage while Ariane gazes longingly at her servant.)

The dress rehearsal is not going good for anyone. Nattie is bummed she has to show the newbies the ropes and Vincent who, for some reason can't sightsee by himself, is backstage. Ariane is mad that her tag team partner Brodus Clay said they sucked so Vincent comforts her as she cries. Ariane says he's the sweetest guy ever, unless someone hurts her. Vincent loses his shit and wants Brodus to step out so he can beat the shit out of him. Trinity is worried that if Vincent does so, he will hurt her (Trinity's career) as they are sold as a duo act. Nattie runs damage control and calms him down. Jimmy (who was also backstage but didn't speak up) sides with Vincent's actions and Trinity says work is less fun because of things like this.

The Bella twins want to see the newbies especially since they heard one of them looks kinda like them. Nikki is insulted and calls them out of their hotel rooms. Eva says she has to change her hair to blonde. Nikki says she is happy Eva Marie will be blonde since people are saying they look like her. Eva Marie says they will have to follow the twins' leads as they are more experienced.

Meanwhile, Trinity goes to Ariane and takes her to lunch. She grills her about what happened with Brodus and Vincent. Trinity admits Brodus was wrong, but says Vincent shouldn't have wanted to start a fight. Ariane said he would have been a punk had he let her be disrespected, but that she is over it.

Two Days Until Wrestlemania

Eva Marie is in the salon, clearly not happy about going blonde. The colorist begins stripping her hair of the red highlights and she says blonde doesn't work for her (MATT: I laughed when Eva Marie said, "I look like Mufasa...this is bad.") and tells JoJo she refuses to go blonde. She tells the colorist that she is going fire engine-red and the colorist starts putting it on. JoJo watches with admiration and respect because this could possibly be Eva Marie's career. Eva Marie says the hair color screams her and there will be no mixup now with her and The Bellas. (MATT: Uh...I'll allow it. She looks stunning.) Jane calls Eva Marie saying she wants to see her hair. Jane is stunned and asks what happens to blonde. (Jane's hair is blonde.) Jane says she hates to say it...but she likes it, but in the future, when they say do something do it.

The Divas attend the pre-Wrestlemania party. 

The Bellas are confused about Eva Marie's hair and Nattie's upset that the noobs are stealing the spotlight. 

The ladies are all dressed up and Nikki says the newbies look too comfortable and that they need to get their intimidation on as veterans. They steal all the photo moments from the newbies but Eva Marie says she will take it as a one-time initiation but then that's it.

One Day Till Wrestlemania

The twins are "starving", and (MATT: Pretend...) to eat breakfast together. Brie says she is going ring shopping. Brie hints that John may not want to marry Nikki as he's been married before and Nikki says it bothers her that this perfect man may not want to marry her. This really upsets me. I want to yell at the screen for Nikki to realize that Cena is far, FAR from "the perfect man" and to grow a spine and at least have that talk with Jon. Brie says Nikki being sad over this makes her sad. I like these ladies as wrestlers and even characters, I really do, but right now it seems like they're sharing one personality.

Trinity wants Ariane to talk to Vincent, Ariane hasn't and now they snap at each other. They mock each other and keep fighting. Trinity says Ariane has some deep-rooted issues and everyone else sees it.

(MATT: Thankfully, this is about as "Kardashian" as the show gets. It actually ends on a mature note.)

John and Nikki go to a romantic dinner. (MATT: Which looks, suspiciously, like a Black Angus.) Nikki needs to know if there is a possibility that marriage is something he could want. Nikki says she needs marriage and doesn't want to walk away. John says he tried marriage already and while Nikki has changed him he doesn't know if he wants those things. Jon says he enjoys things with her that he can't with anyone else like opening his home and his life to her, and that he liked their random Thursday dinner and fishing trip. John says it's the "little things" that make him happy. Nikki admits that Brie ring shopping is motivating a lot of what she's feeling. Of course it is. She needs to have a parallel life after all they are sharing one brain.

Day of Wrestlemania 29

Each and every Diva is excited about Wrestlemania and, apparently, every one of them is required to randomly say "80,000 people" are there. The twins are both impressed with Daniel Bryan and Kane for winning their match. The girls have ridiculously-silly red outfits with sequin-ridden canes and top hats. Putting on the Ritz anyone?

At least they have their costumes ready. The seamstresses are still sewing The Funkadactyls costumes. Where is the magical fairy godmother from Cinderella to fix things when you need her? The Bellas walk by, fully-clothed, and get bitchy, saying they hope Ariane and Trinity don't walk out naked. Ariane tells them to step off because they don't want to go there right now.

The match is up next and, still, the seamstress needs more time. She gives them the costumes, barely in time, and they race to put them on and get ready to go on stage.

The Bellas are ready to go on...but John Cena's music hits instead and the main event between him and The Rock is on. Nattie and the newbies are watching from the WWE luxury box. Nattie is incredibly disgusted as she worked HARD to get these girls in. She goes to the dressing room where she finds out that the girls were cut from their match. This was the twins first Wrestlemania to wrestle in, so they're really sad. Trinity says there's nothing worse that could happen. Not even a career-threatening eye injury, Trinity? Well, that's later down the road for her so, for now, this is the worst thing. They hug it out and decide to try again next year.

(MATT: This segment is disgustingly inaccurate. The editing practically makes you believe that The Undertaker's match went too long when, in fact, it was Triple H and Brock Lesnar that went too long...but showing that wouldn't be what's "Best for Business", would it?) 

The show ends with fireworks over Met Life Stadium in New York.

DANIELLE:
Not bad for the first show, but they really shafted JoJo who we didn't get to know much about.

Diva I most wanted to punch this episode - Nikki. Wow, is she way too clingy and needy.
Diva I most wanted to hug this episode - Eva Marie. Great job sticking up for yourself choosing a hair color that is the real you even if it's from a bottle.

MATT:
Ok...this show was good. I really don't wanna be that cynical asshole and say it's gonna get worse...but I know it will. Not a bad start.

That's it. Tommy will take you into the weekend with the Smackdown Review. Andy PG will start your week off right with the PG Era Raw Rant on Monday.

Thank you to all the BoD'ers and, hey, if you wanna read more of our stuff, please visit WE HATE YOUR GIMMICK at http://wehateyourgimmick.blogspot.com and, of course, visit us on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/groups/wehateyourgimmick/.

Comments

  1. Nice job Matt.

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  2. Mostly Danielle, sir, but thanks. :)

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  3. Well this is an interesting concept.

    I think this is one of the few episodes I watched. Wasn't bad. I liked seeing the backstage looks during the shows.

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  4. Zanatude Enterprises Inc.June 27, 2014 at 2:14 AM

    Question: During moments of passion, do you shout "OH PERRI!"?

    Somehow "OH MATT!" just doesn't sound right.

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  5. I don't know, Total Divas kind of grew on me. I don't catch it every week, but I'll watch the replays. And it's kind of cool to see the wrestlers out of the ring (even if most of it is heavily scripted). It's a much better than Legend's House. Good recap.

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  6. Zanatude Enterprises Inc.June 27, 2014 at 2:24 AM

    Admit it! Shouting PERRI! in moments of ecstacy feels much better!

    Try it this weekend, Danielle. You'll thank me later.

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  7. Zanatude Enterprises Inc.June 27, 2014 at 2:32 AM

    He's saying that your girlfriend is imaginary.

    Are you just gonna sit there and take that?

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  8. Good job. I hope you keep up with the new season when it comes on, since I don't watch the show, I just read Ryan Byers' recaps on 411. It's nice to have someone doing a good job with them here as well.

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  9. Well, if the 39,000 is just a domestic number, I believe that also includes Canada which technically doesn't have WWE Network. If it's a global number, then it'd factor in even more areas without WWE Network.

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  10. I don't know if they'd have more subscriptions if it were like HBO since that was pretty much Classics on Demand's system and no one subscribed to that. Granted, CoD didn't offer PPV's for free and if it did, then you might be looking at a whole new ballgame.

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  11. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dp6kWFTYNY



    Waylon Mercy had the best brain buster ever

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  12. 39K buys is pretty much what I expected, and actually a rather decent "Network Era" number for a "B" show. Add that to the 660k divided by 6 thing, and it's not bad at all.

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  13. I'm in that boat too.

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  14. In Germany the PPVs went after Wrestlemania from Sky pay ty to ondemand internet only. Maybe they will also lose some numbers there.

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  15. What was his gimmick actually? Wearing white clothes?

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  16. Spivey rarely stuck around long anywhere. He did the Skyscrapers with Sid and then just disappeared a few months later. I didn't see him again until he popped up as Waylon Mercy five years later.

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  17. Recap! I want to know, but I don't want to bother seeking it out!

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  18. Yep, I think the extra PPV buys (the 400K for WM, 39K domestic for this one) is what will keep WWE afloat/in the profits during the first shaky year of the network. I think it will eventually catch on, even with the ones afraid of new technology.

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  19. To be fair Scott, you did bring the wrath of Dave Scherer upon yourself. All I've been seeing on the blog is posts from you, trolling and egging him on. I think once Meekin went AWOL, you had a nervous breakdown worrying about losing page hits.

    ...Who is Dave Scherer, anyway?

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  20. Is this a surprise at all? I mean I wasn't buying ppvs to begin with but with direct and dish dropping out I'm surprised they did as good as the did honestly.

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  21. The authority figure bullshit is what they have used as a template to construct their programming for over a decade now. It drives me nuts sometimes, too. And because Vince hasn't needed to change since 2001 he has just stuck to what he knows and "what works." I can't imagine how fresh RAW and/or Smackdown would be simply by ditching that template and doing something (ANYTHING) different.

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  22. The sad part is this is starting to hurt Johnson in my eyes. Also how funny is it that this has led to even more of his "elite" content getting shared?

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  23. Yea think about that. WWE did 4 times a TNA buyrate without hardly any PPV outlets. It just shows there is NO WAY for TNA to turn things around.

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  24. Porn Peddlin' Jef VinsonJune 27, 2014 at 5:57 AM

    All I can say is, I hope you see that all the drama and nonsense happened on your blog while I was top commenter.
    You're welcome.

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  25. Best commenter =/= top commenter.

    Never has, never wheel.

    (Unless you post some pr0n)

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  26. Porn Peddlin' Jef VinsonJune 27, 2014 at 5:58 AM

    I really don't know why TNA followed the PPV model to begin with. They should see if they could get "Clash of the Champions" type specials on Spike.

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  27. So they can spike a monster 1.3 rating with it? Would that really make them extra money?

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  28. Porn Peddlin' Jef VinsonJune 27, 2014 at 5:59 AM

    And I DO post porn so...

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  29. Not now you ain't.

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  30. Porn Peddlin' Jef VinsonJune 27, 2014 at 6:00 AM

    It would be better than a PPV that people barely watch.

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  31. Porn Peddlin' Jef VinsonJune 27, 2014 at 6:01 AM

    Can't 'cause I'm at work, but this will have to do for now:

    http://i.imgur.com/CCkE5.gif

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  32. I was thinking, TNA would benefit more from a "Network setting" than WWE would. $60 a month for 6 TNA PPVs, plus archives of the old shows (a few good things in there), I bet they legit would make more money than they would with their current structure.

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  33. Her teeth are crooked; she looks like a Bosnian. I rate her a 4/10, she's not in the top 1000 whores.

    ...I'm sorry. This whole Scherer thing has got me all upset. And drunk.

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  34. Porn Peddlin' Jef VinsonJune 27, 2014 at 6:06 AM

    If You're influence by Scherer maybe this will make you feel better:

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  35. Porn Peddlin' Jef VinsonJune 27, 2014 at 6:07 AM

    I was thinking they should do more with their youtube page and get paid per page view.
    Steal WWE/Zack Ryder's idea for an internet championship and show matches on their webpage/youtube page. It's RIGHT there.

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  36. Didn't they have something similar to Classics On Demand at one point?

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  37. I never listened to their audio content or paid for their content. When I was bored enough to look for more wrestling content I didn't find anything terrible about his writing. I always thought he seemed alright.

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  38. They had to pawn their one modem last week to make payroll. Sorry.

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  39. If there wasn't the whole....make it work aspect. WWE had billions and the people behind MLBs web content running the show and it was still a disaster the first week or show. Now think of TNA......I personally know the guy who built the first computer they were editing their Foxsports show on.....What I'm getting at is it would NEVER actually function. Plus the money involved with building the infrastructure.

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  40. Porn Peddlin' Jef VinsonJune 27, 2014 at 6:16 AM

    Dixie has a cellphone.

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  41. So can someone explain to me what the story is between this random Scott Keith vs. Dave Scherer whatever the fuck feud? I don't read the comments all the time so I have no idea what's happening. I just keep seeing Scott reference it. Someone wanna TL;DR it for me?

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  42. Good point, I was mostly thinking of the "Network buys > Their usual PPV buys". Wasn't considering the rest.

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  43. Porn Peddlin' Jef VinsonJune 27, 2014 at 6:17 AM

    "...Who is Dave Scherer, anyway?"

    Exactly.

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  44. Now I know there's plenty of discussion of Trinity's 'donk', but will we get to *see* a lot of said 'donk'? This determines if I watch this show.

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  45. So the question then is why did they attempt it with Spivey in the first place...I remember as a kid..pre internet knowing Spivey was always tearing something

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  46. James M. FabianoJune 27, 2014 at 7:09 AM

    So ironically, while the gimmick had legs, the performer did not.

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  47. Well he was around for about ten minutes and never had any feuds or anything beyond some jobber matches. anever quite had the chance to get over. he wouldve though.

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  48. Spivey was awesome as Mercy but just knowing he was ready to hang it up makes me wish they hadn't saddled him with it. My retroactive fantasy booking? They hold that character until they signed Barry Windham and give it to him. He could've done lots with it and its a lot better than the turdburgers he was dealt. Coincidentally his nephew ended up being the one to do a new take on it.

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  49. I think we just like people with great characters that they didn't get a chance to fuck up.

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  50. Anyone else here not a big fan of cape fear? One of my least favorite Scorsese films. I mean it's okay and I've seen it several times but I'm not much of a fan. DeNiro is really good and the Max Cady character is the best part of the movie but it just as a crappy early 90's look and any scene with out DeNiro kind of sucks

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  51. The BoD Power Couple

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  52. CruelConnectionNumber2June 27, 2014 at 7:56 AM

    Scripted bullshit show for dumb women, full of inaccuracies and insulting revised facts.

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  53. I found it to be extremely over rated.

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  54. Jeff Hardy just sold it really good. Eddie had the best brainbuster.

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  55. This is the only episode I ever watched. Good review. Keep it up!

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  56. Zanatude Enterprises Inc.June 27, 2014 at 8:14 AM

    As opposed to RAW, a scripted bullshit show for dumb men, full of inaccuracies and insulting revised facts.

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  57. Even before the injury, they jobbed him in his PPV debut to Savio Vega. Yes, Vega had achieved legend status in the Caribbean by that time (and would once serve as a suitable stand-in for Shawn Michaels) but nevertheless, I don't think Mercy was meant to recover from that loss.

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  58. Here's Great Muta vs Ricky Steamboat from '89:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8s4qepyJL0

    and added bonus: Keiji Mutoh(Great Muta w/o face paint) vs Ric Flair:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5H28_Rvj7PE

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  59. Danielle StolmanJune 27, 2014 at 9:02 AM

    you do see her use her donk for her Rear View move (basically jumping up and hitting her opponent with her donk) a few times. No closeups yet, but I'll keep you posted if they show any.

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  60. Danielle StolmanJune 27, 2014 at 9:03 AM

    Thanks for the kind words. I definitely plan on recapping the new season for you.

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  61. Is he? Oh. Man, was I tired last night. I didn't catch that.

    But, Cult, if you wanna come by We Hate Your Gimmick on Facebook, you can always add us. Danielle is there, too. Friend us both. :)

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  62. Danielle StolmanJune 27, 2014 at 9:05 AM

    I will have to give it a try. I'm sure our neighbors who have heard us both yelling while watching sports and during moments of passion will appreciate a new exclamation as well.

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  63. It's so much better in Simpsons form.

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  64. The worst Scorcese film is The Color of Money. Not that it's *bad*, it's just the worst. And appropriately titled, as it was nothing more than a Scorcese cash grab so he could finance The Last Temptation of Christ, so ultimately it was for the greater good.

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  65. Thing is if you didn't know from a newsletter/online board that it was Spivey, you would have NEVER guessed it. His look, his hairline and color, his age, and his voice had all changed drastically. When I first saw his vignettes I thought the newsletter reports about Spivey signing and taking the name were wrong.

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  66. Ya know I'd probably say shutter island is my least favorite Marty movie, but then again I've only seen it once and didn't hate it or anything.

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  67. Well, yes, but that's the thing. Doink got a big feud right off the bat. Waylon got nothing. Part of that was probably laziness, part of it was the WWF getting more family-oriented than even in '93, so the heels weren't allowed to do anything truly despicable.

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  68. Love it. Instead he got that awful stalker gimmick and then they stick fucking Barry Windham in a shitty midcard tag team...wtf

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  69. I saw that ppv on the network a few weeks ago and couldn't fucking believe Savio Vega went over in that match.

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  70. I don't listen to Torch or Observer, but do listen to Colt, MLW (Cornette, Bauer/Pollack, and the one with Konnan), Stone Cold and Jericho (as long as they are talking wrestling) and that's about it. I listened to the P2B podcast for a while and it's good too, just don't have much time for them anymore. I do have a hard time listening to guys that weren't in the business talk about it, but that may be b/c my favorite thing about the podcasts is the stories.....I think I'm rambling now.

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  71. AverageJoeEverymanJune 27, 2014 at 9:20 AM

    As in he has to use his "girlfriend" to reach the A, S, D, F, E, and R keys?

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  72. That's right. Mike did NOT go to jail but he was charged and found not guilty.

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  73. Danielle StolmanJune 27, 2014 at 9:37 AM

    nah I let him type by himself, sure I'll lend him a hand now and then on things but it's more to start moments of passion (thanks Zanatude for a new catchy phrase to yell) then to help him write.

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  74. The Bret/Lawler thing made sense, first off, it was the blowoff of a feud that had been going on for 2 years, and 2nd, they talked about it after cause it led to the debut of Isaac Yankem, Bret's SummerSlam opponent.

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  75. Thats really funny because we all saw the emails and know exactly what was in them.

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  76. I saw the new article. I can tell now.

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  77. He should have taken callers to call him out on them.

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  78. Is there no boundaries this man won't cross?

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  79. That would be pretty sweet.

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  80. Thank you, I'm going to have to listen to it later.

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  81. I love how Scherer will only make statements now in forums where people can't respond to him because he saw how little his own audience gives a shit about him. He's literally that annoying little shithead who taunts the bigger kids and then runs away when those bigger kids turn around to give him a sideways glance.

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  82. Eric S. went crazy a few years back, tried starting a feud with Scientology to the point that he even "unmasked" on some local news report as a member of Anonymous, then promptly disappeared. There was actually a clip of the news segment on YouTube for a while but I don't think it's up anymore. Mostly, people just laughed at the whole thing and I think Eric felt embarrassed by it and gave up on the IWC.

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  83. ....the show was really good though...

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  84. By the way, just an observation on all of this:

    I think Meltzer realizes the logistics of the whole thing. Even if
    people do steal from him, they have to pay to do it so he's still making
    money. And all of the reports that pop up stealing his stuff source him
    most of the time. So it's free advertising for his newsletter. People
    will always go to him for news because he's seen as the preeminent name
    in "wrestling journalism." He doesn't have to worry about losing in that
    kind of exchange because the people who go to 411 and Wrestlezone are
    mostly teenagers, guys too broke to pay for the Observer, and so on.
    He'll always have a core audience of people willing to pay.

    Scherer
    is just a fucking looney who has no concept of the American legal
    system, relies on ads for most of his revenue and realizes his place in
    this whole community is very small and can disappear very quickly. So he
    lashes out, like a child, at anyone he feels is threatening "his spot."
    He's not at the top of the food chain, The Real Dave is, and he's not
    well-regarded like Alvarez, and he doesn't have legitimate book deals
    like Scott; he's the suckerfish that attaches itself to sharks, whales
    and bigger fish. He feeds off of the leftovers of the bigger names to
    get by. The IWC is a very delicate ecosystem, and The Fake Dave know how easily get could get turfed from it.

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  85. Mercy was gone right after, so he may have given his notice on this show, did the quick job and got out.

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  86. love it we should use that new title on Matt's blog. Maybe get T shirts made. ;)

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  87. Uncrusimatic_Buck_NastyJune 27, 2014 at 10:37 AM

    he threatened bayless's life

    bring the po-po into this, just b/c

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  88. Uncrusimatic_Buck_NastyJune 27, 2014 at 10:38 AM

    that poor dog

    /neverforget

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  89. While Brian violating PW Spyware's TOS won't be something they care about. Claiming that Brian was making these updates while at work, using their wifi/bandwidth/whatever is something that they may very well have a problem with. They have no tangible proof that Brian did them from his job, or from the Starbucks down the road. But seem more than happy to try to risk causing him his job, over what amounts to petty bullshit.

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  90. Waylon looked a lot like a drunk Scott Hall from 2002.

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  91. Nice recap with lots of detail (which only amplifies the silliness of some of the show's statements and scenarios). Matt's interjections were a good change of pace, more hits than misses. Looking forward to your next post.


    As an aside, I just don't get the "Eva Marie looks like Nikki" thing, even before the dye job.

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  92. I'd love to see him claim satire on that.

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  93. Lives are a bowl of beans in Waylon Mercy's hands. Know what I mean?

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  94. Well Savio was Razir's buddy.

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  95. But Waylon was injured shortly afterward and Vega went on to main-event No Way Out, so it was actually phrophecy like long sighted booking.

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  96. Savio was to Razor as Big Josh was to Tommy Rich as Steve Blackman was to Vader.

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  97. "Ya know what I mean?"
    Still one of the greatest gimmicks, with that aura and that entrance theme!

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  98. Much like your boyfriend, good review, and welcome to the BoD.

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  99. lol, he was just saying my quote about Nikki and The Notebook sounded like something he'd write. Our literary voices are somewhat different thankfully, and we could probably go three rounds over differences of opinions on spelling nuances. Happy to be here. :)

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  100. If Dave were to do that, to me, that would be about as low as you can go.

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  101. Hate the flick -- I think it was the first sign that DeNiro was starting to slip from the best actor in the world perch. He's not awful in it, but it doesn't match his work prior to it IMO.

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  102. Haha -- I can see Vince even in 90s having zero clue about pop culture and being sold on the character that way. "So he's a redneck that wears white clothes...I love it!"

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  103. He did get a countout win on Superstars over Diesel when he was WWF champ, but it was never followed up on.

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  104. Jonathan MeisnerJune 27, 2014 at 1:06 PM

    The original with Gregory Peck and Robert Mitchum is far superior.

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  105. I remember being quite shocked when Savio Vega beat Waylon Mercy at IYH 3. At the time, that made no sense.

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  106. I actually like the Color of Money, but I like billiards and Tom Cruise.

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  107. I'm surprised the New Blackjacks didn't get more of a push. I would have rather seen them be a factor in the tag division than the Godwinns in 1997.

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  108. Jason AntoniewiczJune 27, 2014 at 1:26 PM

    I was more-or-less smartened up from the beginning of my time watching wrestling, and yet I distinctly remember getting creeped out and edgy that harm was going to be done when Waylon Mercy came out. Vader tops that list easily. WCW Vader moreso, but when he puts his hands on Gorilla Monsoon, I remember being worried. But Waylon, and also crazy Bob Backlund, got that reaction from 8-year-old me.

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  109. Danielle StolmanJune 27, 2014 at 1:38 PM

    LOL. Good to hear. Pretty much most of the comments and commentors have been really nice. When you were warning me that I was opening up to all sorts of criticism while posted, I expected to wake up today to the figurative equivalent of a horde with a cauldron of steaming oil and bows and arrows pointed at me. Besides people who don't like the show and who still think I'm a figment of your imagination (which is just silly I'm using my real Facebook pic as my avatar on an account that lists thousands of entries going back five years - who has the time to fake that?) everyone has been very welcoming.

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  110. Danielle StolmanJune 27, 2014 at 1:41 PM

    I don't really see it, either. Their coloring was similar and their face shape was as well, but it wasn't like you'd look at Nikki and think wow that must be Eva Marie's sister or vice versa.

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  111. It shows how paranoid people in the wrestling business can be, or just how dumb they think their fans are. I never saw how Eva could be mistaken for either of the Bellas, or how Eva (and later Summer Rae) being blond was a threat to Nattie. It'd be like somebody confusing Dolph Ziggler with Dean Ambrose.

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  112. Total Divas is as scripted as any other reality show, but I do like how you get to learn more about the wrestlers off-stage. John Cena being borderline OCD was a revelation (and not something I think WWE would script), as was Tyson Kidd being so childish at times. Jimmy Uso and Trinity are a good couple and watching the show makes you root for their characters even more. Plus the random backstage interactions are cool.

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  113. "I expected to wake up today to the figurative equivalent of a horde with a cauldron of steaming oil and bows and arrows pointed at me. "



    We can arrange that, if you'd like. But I prefer the modern touch, with a nice little assassin team armed with grenades and M16s.


    Oh, and welcome. :)

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  114. He also had a really good match with Bret on superstars where he got a load of offense and was protected by Jean-Pierre Laffite running in for the DQ.

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  115. Developed by the same company. So no surprises there.

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  116. The original 'felt' more real since Peck was one of the ultimate clean-cut Hollywood good guys and Mitchum was kind of a lunatic in real life. Watching De Niro and Nolte do it felt more like actors acting --- De Niro can certainly be scary in roles but it was clearly him playing a part in that one, and Nolte isn't a very sympathetic figure.

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  117. Okay, but I'm talking about something like Mercy pulling up the ring mats, giving somebody like Savio Vega a brainbuster on the concrete, then cackling about how Savio's "at peace" while paramedics immobilize his neck and stretcher him out while Vince screams about how Waylon's ended his career and doesn't even realize it. The same kind of splash that Doink made when he put Crush on the shelf. And doing it EARLY in his run--the win over Diesel was his last appearance, I think.

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  118. '92 was dark as far as popularity but it was one of the their best years in terms of overall quality.

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  119. I think the overwhelming sense of "we're fucked" galvanized everybody into putting in work in the ring and in the storylines.

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  120. I go The Aviator on that. but i've never seen a couple of his.

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  121. Imagine Windham as Mercy allied with Goldust and Mankind, feuding with Taker in 96. Shit woulda been good.

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  122. I kinda wish they'd kept JoJo on the cast for Season 2, just because it'd be interesting to see what it's like going through developmental.

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  123. Yeah. But still you have to admit Hall tried to get it over. Chicko, this man is Puerto Rico wrestling legend -- Savio Vega. Been a long time, mang.

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  124. And it was a sequal to the Jackie Gleason movie - the Hustler

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  125. Barry Windham stopped being good in 1993

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  126. And after review, I'm guessing the worst Marty movie is either Hugo, Kundun, The Age of Innocence, or New York, New York. But i wouldn't know.

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  127. Zanatude Enterprises Inc.June 27, 2014 at 6:58 PM

    It's still hard to believe that actual females are reading any of this.

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  128. Zanatude Enterprises Inc.June 27, 2014 at 7:00 PM

    Nothing like an old-fashioned to wake someone up in the morning.

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  129. Danielle StolmanJune 27, 2014 at 8:16 PM

    Lol, this is so damn funny I said to Matt less than an hour ago that I was probably the only female reader here, but statistically there must be others. I'm a wrestling fan from way back (I wrote being a female fan from childhood on Matt's blog, that might have been a good intro piece to post here). I really am an actual female my avatar pic is a recent one of Matt and I.

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  130. We are...what's best...FOR BUSINESS. ;)

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  131. KUNDUN! I LIKED IT! - Christopher Moltisanti

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  132. I will go to my grave believing the following: If he hadn't gotten injured, Waylon Mercy, WWF champ.

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  133. Well I think such a gimmick needs a stable behind the guy. As a single wrestler, Bray Wyatt wouln't work as good as he does with the other two. A kind of "cult leader" needs a "cult". Alone he is just a crazy guy. ;-)

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  134. New York, New York by a Mike. Marty let the coke get to him.

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  135. The fact that you apologized and have stopped cribbing his work is pathetic. NPP had more fun when this happened over there.

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  136. Eh...this was still at the time where they weren't open minded to gimmicky wrestlers holding the strap. Freakin Undertaker didn't get a decent run until years later.

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  137. You know I always thought Savio sucked and couldn't work but a lot of guys including Austin have high praise for him.

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  138. LToC is horrible. Kietel's Judas has Brooklyn accent.

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  139. The sad thing is that Windham really got into shape for the Blackjacks. And the thing is on paper it wasn't the worst idea. Barry going back to his roots and all.

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  140. Freakin Undertaker wasn't that good until years later. (You could blame that on quality of opponents, but that's a debate for another time.) They gave Mercy a countout win over Diesel, they were at least thinking about it.

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  141. He wasn't that bad, he just got stuck in some eh gimmicks. We all know the sound of 300lbs of shit hitting the fan, don't we?

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  142. I am a lawyer. If I understand things correctly, the best case anybody has is Bayless against Scherer due to Scherer taking information that was intended and expected to remain private and broadcasting it on Twitter. Scherer cannot take a customer's real name from his client database and out it on the web.

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  143. Fake sport, fake names, fake news....fake lawyer. Real entertainment.

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  144. There is a difference. Releasing a real name of a customer who resides under an alias and has a legitimate expectation of privacy is different from a comment that is clearly lampooning.
    Thus, SNL and Mad Magazine are not defamation.

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  145. Your best weapon is to simply ignore him and to have no one here engage him on Twitter. This is all about publicity. He tried re-engaging Wade Keller last year, Keller blew it off and Scherer has moved on.
    I think that if you provide a link back to the websites you are sourcing in the news references, it would help alleviate any issues with sites you reference going forward.

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