This has nothing to do with the WWE
The show starts off with GM Bayless in the ring. He tells the crowd that we will get a number one contender tonight to the BoD World Heavyweight Championship as Parallax vs. Jobber123 vs. The Fuj in a three-way match will determine that tonight......but wait!!!! Jef Vinson comes out holding his Money on the Table Briefcase and he has something to say:
"You know something, I have been patiently waiting to cash in my title shot. I have been brutalized, jumped, and attacked by multiple men at the same time. And now, you can name whoever you want as your number one contender but at BoD SummerSlam, I am cashing in my contract."
The GM seems a bit surprised but plays it cool. He then says that at SummerSlam Jef Vinson will face the Champion. He also tells Vinson that tonight, he gets to face one-half of the BoD Tag Team Champions, John Petuka. He also says that since we are not getting a #1 contender's match, we will have to settle for a...........................WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So tonight, it will Cultstatus against Parallax1978.......................against Jobber123..................................and against the.............................FUJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh my, a Fatal Four Way match for the Title. Where can you see that, folks!!!! I'll tell you where....The BoD.
Best of Five Series
David Bonzai Saldana Montgomery vs Night81
The show starts off with GM Bayless in the ring. He tells the crowd that we will get a number one contender tonight to the BoD World Heavyweight Championship as Parallax vs. Jobber123 vs. The Fuj in a three-way match will determine that tonight......but wait!!!! Jef Vinson comes out holding his Money on the Table Briefcase and he has something to say:
"You know something, I have been patiently waiting to cash in my title shot. I have been brutalized, jumped, and attacked by multiple men at the same time. And now, you can name whoever you want as your number one contender but at BoD SummerSlam, I am cashing in my contract."
The GM seems a bit surprised but plays it cool. He then says that at SummerSlam Jef Vinson will face the Champion. He also tells Vinson that tonight, he gets to face one-half of the BoD Tag Team Champions, John Petuka. He also says that since we are not getting a #1 contender's match, we will have to settle for a...........................WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So tonight, it will Cultstatus against Parallax1978.......................against Jobber123..................................and against the.............................FUJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh my, a Fatal Four Way match for the Title. Where can you see that, folks!!!! I'll tell you where....The BoD.
Best of Five Series
David Bonzai Saldana Montgomery vs Night81
This is the first match in a Best of 5. Winner gets a shot at the BoD C-List Title. The two lockup and go into some smooth chain wrestling, showing ability above that of your average C-Lister. Night tries escaping an arm wringer with a hook kick, but DBSM blocked it and hits an early Clinching Slam! 1....2....NO! Scary early pinfall there. DBSM takes control with technical ability above that of your average C-Lister. Hoepfully Mikey Mike will step up to the challenge that ensues from this. Eventually, Night uses a back kick to the knee to escape a Buffalo Wing Sleeperhold, and then turns it into a running bulldog! 1....2....NO! Night then goes for some bigger moves to break the equilibrium. Piledriver! 1....2....NO! Twisting Face Crusher! 1....2....NO! Flashbang Clothesline! 1....2....NO! Night goes to an Armenian Armbar, but DBSM reverses into a rollup! 1....2....NO! DBSM then tries a kicking combo, but Night catches a kick and pushes DBSM into the corner post! Night then places DBSM up top and looks for the Night Rider(Reverse Frankensteiner), but DBSM somehow lands on his feet, ducks a clothesline, and cinches in a Whirlwind Backslide! 1....2.....3! DBSM takes a 1-0 lead in the series!
The Midcard Mafia are now in the ring. They have microphones in their hand and appear to have something to say.
Piers: Last night, at BoD BattleGround, the GM did not include me in the show. The same GM who is afraid of PWInsider.com, the same GM who choked at BoD Wargames, the same GM who failed to take the Money on the Table briefcase despite a stacked deck is afraid to book us on the show. Well tonight, we are not leaving this ring until we are booked on the show and Bayless, we know you keep us away because you are afraid
Ferrari: As someone who is in the Top #12, Bayless, you have shown me no respect. You keep me off of the card. And why is that? So your pathetic janitors, rock holders, and delusional fans can clog the airwaves. You cannot keep us down forever and you will not keep us down ever again as we will not leave until we are booked.
All of a sudden, GM Bayless appears. He does not look happy:
"Piers, Ferrari, you two shitbirds want a match. YOU GOT ONE!!!!!!!!!! (Crowd chants "You're a Pussy" at Bayless) Oh, shut up. I have had a tag team in front of my office with one of the guys hussing for 83 consecutive minutes until I gave him a match. So tonight, you two will take on the team known as CurtZerker. And Belmont, you will get your match too as tonight you will face................HOSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Magoonie now grabs the mic:
"The name is Magoonie you silly son of a bitch and after I defeat the Hoss, I am coming after you."
Bayless nods his head while smirking. He seems to have some sort of plan up his sleeve.
Andy PG vs. Dock Muraco
The BoD Writer's Division is expanding, folks. Dock is wearing a replica Ribera Steakhouse Jacket that uh, well, some people care about I think. Dock starts by trying to apply an armbar but that is countered an Andy reaches the ropes. The are now trading chops as Dock comes back with a lariat. He sends Andy in the corner but misses a flying knee strike and Andy takes control. Andy hits a dropkick and a hurricarana. He sets up for a brainbuster but Tommy Hall runs in, wearing batting gloves and a Stacey Augmon Atlanta Hawks throwback, hits Andy with a sock filled with nickles!!!! Tommy beats on Andy then stops and gives Dock Muraco an e-book dollar and tells him to read some Misawa match reviews. Tommy then grabs the mic
"Because of you not signing my petition, I lost my chance at the BoD Writer's Championship. I have everything: e-book money, an off-brand Smartphone, a Panera Bread rewards card, and 376 throwback jerseys but the only thing I needed to complete my puzzle is the Writer's Championship. And I promise you this, Andy, I will not stop making your life hell until I get the belt"
Folks, next week, our own Wade Michael Meltzer will head down to New Zealand and track down YJ2310 as he is training in the secretive Garea Dungeon.
GM Bayless is backstage. His Assistant GM, Director of Operations and Paper Goods, Justice Gray, informs him that the Vegas arena has been booked for August 18th. Bayless says that it will happen instead on August 4th as the BoD goes to Vegas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CurtZerker vs. Nick "The Brick" Piers & Steve Ferrari
TheBerzerker starts off by hussing loudly at his opponents. Ferrari looks puzzled as TheBerzerker husses louder and louder as he approaches. Ferrari responds with a chop then TheBerzerker just husses even louder. "HUSS" HUSS" HUSS" HUSS". Ferrari bounces off of the ropes and takes him down with the clothesline as the hussing as subsided. Tag to Piers and he hits a spin kick to the mouth of TheBerzerker. Piers works the arm but TheBerzerker fights back. He hits a big boot and tags Williams. He whips Piers against the ropes but Piers comes back with a spinning wheel kick. Ferrari tags back into the match and goes to work on Curtis but TheBerzerker hits him from behind then husses in the face of Piers, who is standing on the apron. Ferrari is double-teamed behind the referee's back and in a lot of trouble. He fights back but Williams stops him. Ferrari gets sent into the corner but dodges a charging Williams as both men are down. Piers rallies his fellow Mafioso as TheBerzerker husses for his partner to tag him into the match. Williams grabs Ferrari's leg but is met with an enziguiri and he makes the tag to Piers. He is a budget motel room house of fire, folks. He takes TheBerzerker down with a dropkick then knocks Williams to the floor. Ferrari is up and Piers tags him in and they hit TheBerzerker with a double suplex. Piers then flies outside and takes out Williams with a suicide dive as the fans go nuts. Ferrari then kicks TheBerzerker then finishes him off with the Cruise Control (lung blower) for the win!!!!!!!!!!! Could this match elevate these to MCM members in the tag team ranks?
The Midcard Mafia are now in the ring. They have microphones in their hand and appear to have something to say.
Piers: Last night, at BoD BattleGround, the GM did not include me in the show. The same GM who is afraid of PWInsider.com, the same GM who choked at BoD Wargames, the same GM who failed to take the Money on the Table briefcase despite a stacked deck is afraid to book us on the show. Well tonight, we are not leaving this ring until we are booked on the show and Bayless, we know you keep us away because you are afraid
Ferrari: As someone who is in the Top #12, Bayless, you have shown me no respect. You keep me off of the card. And why is that? So your pathetic janitors, rock holders, and delusional fans can clog the airwaves. You cannot keep us down forever and you will not keep us down ever again as we will not leave until we are booked.
All of a sudden, GM Bayless appears. He does not look happy:
"Piers, Ferrari, you two shitbirds want a match. YOU GOT ONE!!!!!!!!!! (Crowd chants "You're a Pussy" at Bayless) Oh, shut up. I have had a tag team in front of my office with one of the guys hussing for 83 consecutive minutes until I gave him a match. So tonight, you two will take on the team known as CurtZerker. And Belmont, you will get your match too as tonight you will face................HOSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Magoonie now grabs the mic:
"The name is Magoonie you silly son of a bitch and after I defeat the Hoss, I am coming after you."
Bayless nods his head while smirking. He seems to have some sort of plan up his sleeve.
Andy PG vs. Dock Muraco
The BoD Writer's Division is expanding, folks. Dock is wearing a replica Ribera Steakhouse Jacket that uh, well, some people care about I think. Dock starts by trying to apply an armbar but that is countered an Andy reaches the ropes. The are now trading chops as Dock comes back with a lariat. He sends Andy in the corner but misses a flying knee strike and Andy takes control. Andy hits a dropkick and a hurricarana. He sets up for a brainbuster but Tommy Hall runs in, wearing batting gloves and a Stacey Augmon Atlanta Hawks throwback, hits Andy with a sock filled with nickles!!!! Tommy beats on Andy then stops and gives Dock Muraco an e-book dollar and tells him to read some Misawa match reviews. Tommy then grabs the mic
"Because of you not signing my petition, I lost my chance at the BoD Writer's Championship. I have everything: e-book money, an off-brand Smartphone, a Panera Bread rewards card, and 376 throwback jerseys but the only thing I needed to complete my puzzle is the Writer's Championship. And I promise you this, Andy, I will not stop making your life hell until I get the belt"
Folks, next week, our own Wade Michael Meltzer will head down to New Zealand and track down YJ2310 as he is training in the secretive Garea Dungeon.
GM Bayless is backstage. His Assistant GM, Director of Operations and Paper Goods, Justice Gray, informs him that the Vegas arena has been booked for August 18th. Bayless says that it will happen instead on August 4th as the BoD goes to Vegas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CurtZerker vs. Nick "The Brick" Piers & Steve Ferrari
TheBerzerker starts off by hussing loudly at his opponents. Ferrari looks puzzled as TheBerzerker husses louder and louder as he approaches. Ferrari responds with a chop then TheBerzerker just husses even louder. "HUSS" HUSS" HUSS" HUSS". Ferrari bounces off of the ropes and takes him down with the clothesline as the hussing as subsided. Tag to Piers and he hits a spin kick to the mouth of TheBerzerker. Piers works the arm but TheBerzerker fights back. He hits a big boot and tags Williams. He whips Piers against the ropes but Piers comes back with a spinning wheel kick. Ferrari tags back into the match and goes to work on Curtis but TheBerzerker hits him from behind then husses in the face of Piers, who is standing on the apron. Ferrari is double-teamed behind the referee's back and in a lot of trouble. He fights back but Williams stops him. Ferrari gets sent into the corner but dodges a charging Williams as both men are down. Piers rallies his fellow Mafioso as TheBerzerker husses for his partner to tag him into the match. Williams grabs Ferrari's leg but is met with an enziguiri and he makes the tag to Piers. He is a budget motel room house of fire, folks. He takes TheBerzerker down with a dropkick then knocks Williams to the floor. Ferrari is up and Piers tags him in and they hit TheBerzerker with a double suplex. Piers then flies outside and takes out Williams with a suicide dive as the fans go nuts. Ferrari then kicks TheBerzerker then finishes him off with the Cruise Control (lung blower) for the win!!!!!!!!!!! Could this match elevate these to MCM members in the tag team ranks?
Wade Michael Meltzer is here to deliver some breaking news, folks. He comes out and says that a former writer will be making his return to BoD RAW next week!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Who could that be?
GM Bayless comes out and says that in two weeks at BoD RAW from Vegas, he will introduce.....................THE GIMMICK WHEEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is when a bunch of C-List and unidentified performers win a chance to spin the gimmick wheel, hopefully landing on a gimmick that works. The choices will be revealed next week.
Folks, last night, Archie Stackhouse and CoolTrainerBret had an insane Boiler Room Brawl and have been banned from comepting tonight due to the Florida State Athletic Commission. However, they still had words to say about each other
Archie Stackhouse:
"(Archie sits in the boiler room. He bleeds from the forehead but doesn't seem to notice. We see him sitting at a workbench, and hear a faint clanging sound underneath him.)
GM Bayless comes out and says that in two weeks at BoD RAW from Vegas, he will introduce.....................THE GIMMICK WHEEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is when a bunch of C-List and unidentified performers win a chance to spin the gimmick wheel, hopefully landing on a gimmick that works. The choices will be revealed next week.
Folks, last night, Archie Stackhouse and CoolTrainerBret had an insane Boiler Room Brawl and have been banned from comepting tonight due to the Florida State Athletic Commission. However, they still had words to say about each other
Archie Stackhouse:
"(Archie sits in the boiler room. He bleeds from the forehead but doesn't seem to notice. We see him sitting at a workbench, and hear a faint clanging sound underneath him.)
"Tonight, masked one, tonight I showed you a glimpse....of Riverdale.
But clearly, our story remains unfinished, masked one. I would give you credit, devil, if I ever considered for a moment that you deserved anything more than my scorn. My utter contempt.
My hatred.
Uncle Caliber, Uncle Caliber! You didn't warn me about the masked one, did you, Uncle Caliber? You told me that I would be tested on the road to redeeming your name, you told me I was your chosen apostle, YOU TOLD ME!"
(Archie slams his left fist on the table. Looks up and breathes.)
"Forgive me for doubting, Uncle Caliber. Even a momentary loss of faith on the road to RIverdale is unacceptable. I pay penance to you, Uncle Caliber."
(Archie SLAMS his own head into the workbench! The cut on his forehead starts to flow with blood, easily a .6 Muta.)
"So, where were we, masked one? Ah, yes. Your road to RIverdale, masked one. You've begun your journey along the speckled cobblestones that will bring your to the light, but it's clear to me that you need a....helping hand.
Archie Stackhouse is a gentleman above all, masked one. Educated in the finest of manners by Uncle Caliber, During my sessions at the Winfield Dungeon, he strove to make me the most complete of all men, and he warned me that others might not be as....receptive to his messages as I was.
I lapped up my lessons like a kitten sups his milk, masked one, and now I know what I must do. You've seen the darkness of Archie Stackhouse's world, masked one, and now I must do my duty to Uncle Caliber and GM Bayless and bring you to the light."
(The CLANGING intensifies beneath Archie's feet. He looks down and smiles.)
"Let me introduce you to a dear friend of mine from Riverdale, masked one."
(Archie pulls out a crowbar stained with blood. The curved end is wrapped in barbed wire.)
"This is Jughead, masked one! He's ever so eager to make your acquaintance, to become your friend, your....blood brother. And Jughead is hungry, masked one.
Keep your kitchen utensils, masked one. Once I break all of your fingers, it's doubtful you'll be able to use anything other than a straw for nourishment. Once I snap your neck like a twig, you'll be little more than lollipop for the children of Riverdale to point and stare at - the world's largest dessert treat!
Our game of capture the flag is over, masked one. I will remove your mask so you can finally SEE the glory that is Riverdale. I do this for you. I do this for Uncle Caliber. I do this for GM Bayless.
I do this because it is my purpose. It is my mission.
Next week, at BOD Raw, the first stage of Riverdale begins. All the way to BOD Summerslam, we'll walk together down the road and tour the sights of Riverdale together, all the way through the final stage of your own personal flames.
You think this war is over, masked one? We've only just begun. Jughead and myself will see to it.
Welcome to Hell. Welcome....to Riverdale."
Jef Vinson vs John Petuka
Petuka and Vinson make their entrance after what was hopefully a commercial break. Vinson still somehow has a tag strap, while Petuka still somehow has his dignity despite having a finisher called the "Petuka Bazooka". The two start with a frank exchange of ideas in the debate over who is better between Pacquiao and Mayweather. The debate quickly turns heated! An exchange of fisticuffsmanship ensues! Jab! Straight! Left Hook! Uppercut! Body Blow! Flicker Jab! Overhand Right! Cross Counter! Smash! Corkscrew Blow! Gazelle Punch! Bullet Jab! Tornado Hook! DEMPSEY ROLL! Petuka is rocked and rolls to the outside, but Vinson allows no time for recovery, following him out with a pescado! Vinson then raises the tag belt up high, playing to the crowd and his valet, before throwing Petuka back in to take control. Vinson whips PEtuka off the ropes and hits a spectacular leg lariat! 1....2....NO! That won't do it on an upper midcarder. Vinson goes to a surfboard stretch, but Petuka whirls out of it! PETUKA BAZOO-Vinson avoids it! Somehow! Vinson goes to work! Kidney Shot! Kidneyshotkidneyshotkidneyshot and pause.....STOMACH PUNC-No! Petuka grabs the punch and counters into a huge jyudo throw! 1....2....NO! That won't work on a Top 5er. Suddenly, D-D-H wanders out! ITS GETTING FUN-KAY IN HERE! GIT DOWN WIT DA D-D-H! Devin Harris tries giving inspirational advice to Vinson as PEtuka chinlocks him, but Vinson ignores it! D-D-H shrugs and does a jig! HAHAHA, LOOKIT D-D-H DOIN A JIG! Vinson manages to gain leverage, reverse out of the chinlock, and then lands a big STO! 1....2....NO! D-D-H struts back up the ramp, while Vinson, after dat main event brawling, tries to cinch in the One Night Stand(Bow and Arrow Hold), but Petuka fight his way out of it and tries a jackknife pin! 1....2....NO! Petuka Bazook-Vinson avoids it! Tornado Hoo-Dodged by a headslip! Petuka tries an Above Average Package! 1....2...REVERSED! 1....2.....3! Vinson wins! But who would the judges score it for? Prolly the ref.
Post-match, Vinson celebrates, only to get ambushed by kbjone! RED MIST! Vinson is blind! kbjone shoves Vinson's valet down and takes the belt, screaming that he had to pay 10 dollars for skin cream! Petuka hits a Petuka Bazooka on Vinson! Suddenly, here comes the team of Kyle Warne and Adam Curry! WArne pursues kbjone, who leaves with both belts despite not being both of the tag team champions! Petuka tries to ight off Curry, but Curry's fueled by illicit substances, while still being able to pass a piss test! Curry outbrawls Petuka and hits the Dirt Nap(Scoop Brainbuster)! THAT ONE ROCKED! Curry celebrates as Warne disappears into the mysterious void known as the crowd in pursuit of kbjone, never to return!
And now GM Bayless, comes out to the ring.
"You know, in just two weeks, BoD RAW is Live in Vegas!!!!!! And when I think of Vegas I think of whores, drinking, and gambling. But when I gamble in Vegas, I gamble on boxing and in two weeks, on BoD RAW in Vegas, we will have John Petuka vs. Jef Vinson in a Five-Round Boxing match!!!!!!!
Wow, what an announcement.
Magoonie Teddy Belmont comes out to the ring but is attacked backstage by Hoss and the Administration. They drag him down inside as it is a 9 on 1 massacre. Garth takes Molly the Mop and uses it to clean up Magoonie's face. Gosh Hopkins takes Nebb28's Pet Rock and uses it to cut up Belmont's forehead. Hoss leaves and chases the ice cream vendor as Magoonie is getting destroyed in a clear set up by the GM. We have word backstage that Piers & Ferrari have been locked in Holmberg's Janitor closet as we see a stack of "Club Magazines" and a 1/5 of lower-shelf rum. GM Bayless comes out and gets in Magoonie's face and screams that he will never, ever waste his time facing him in a match. He has Gary & his fan hold up Magoonie then take him down with a super kick. The GM seems to be going through a lot of stuff to make sure that he does not have to face Magoonie 1 on 1.
BoD World Heayweight Championship Match
Parallax1978 vs. Jobber123 vs. The Fuj vs. Cultstatus (Champion)
After last night's miscommunication, how will Fuj and Cult interact? It starts off as a brawl between the two teams from last night. A few quick pinfalls are easily broken up the Cult dumps Parallax to the floor. He DDT's Jobber but Fuj breaks up the pin then stares at Cult. They face off but get jumped from behind before they lockup. Jobber then knees Parallax in the stomach then hits a gutwrench suplex but that only gets two. YOU CANT PUT AWAY A TOP 5'ER WITH THAT!!!!!! Jobber sends Parallax into the corner but eats boot on a charge. Parallax goes for the curb stomp but Jobber ducks and they have a reversal sequence that leads to Parallax hitting a super kick. He covers but Cult pulls him off then tosses him at Fuj, who turns that into a powerslam. Cult breaks up that pin and then finally faces off with Fuj as they trade shots. The fans go nuts as neither man can gain the advantage. Jobber comes in and boots down the Fuj, who then gets hit with a flying knee courtesy of Parallax. Cult gets double-teamed as Fuj is slowly getting up. Jobber pulls out some brass knucks and goes to hit Cult but Fuj saves his partner!! He boots Jobber down but Parallax chop blocks him down. Cult gets up and tosses Parallax to the floor, who drags out the Fuj. Jobber knocks down Cult then goes back to the knux as the ref is preoccupied but Cult dodges the swing and catches Jobber with an elbow smash to the side of the head then takes the knux and connects with Jobber's head before putting him away with the Jackknife to retain the title. After the match, a battered and blinded Vinson comes out holding his briefcase. He points to the BoD SummerSlam, or tries, as he is blinded and points to Hoss slapping around the guy at the Organic Vegetable Stand instead. Cult looks at Vinson then laughs and points to the belt around his waist as we are out of time.
And now GM Bayless, comes out to the ring.
"You know, in just two weeks, BoD RAW is Live in Vegas!!!!!! And when I think of Vegas I think of whores, drinking, and gambling. But when I gamble in Vegas, I gamble on boxing and in two weeks, on BoD RAW in Vegas, we will have John Petuka vs. Jef Vinson in a Five-Round Boxing match!!!!!!!
Wow, what an announcement.
BoD World Heayweight Championship Match
Parallax1978 vs. Jobber123 vs. The Fuj vs. Cultstatus (Champion)
After last night's miscommunication, how will Fuj and Cult interact? It starts off as a brawl between the two teams from last night. A few quick pinfalls are easily broken up the Cult dumps Parallax to the floor. He DDT's Jobber but Fuj breaks up the pin then stares at Cult. They face off but get jumped from behind before they lockup. Jobber then knees Parallax in the stomach then hits a gutwrench suplex but that only gets two. YOU CANT PUT AWAY A TOP 5'ER WITH THAT!!!!!! Jobber sends Parallax into the corner but eats boot on a charge. Parallax goes for the curb stomp but Jobber ducks and they have a reversal sequence that leads to Parallax hitting a super kick. He covers but Cult pulls him off then tosses him at Fuj, who turns that into a powerslam. Cult breaks up that pin and then finally faces off with Fuj as they trade shots. The fans go nuts as neither man can gain the advantage. Jobber comes in and boots down the Fuj, who then gets hit with a flying knee courtesy of Parallax. Cult gets double-teamed as Fuj is slowly getting up. Jobber pulls out some brass knucks and goes to hit Cult but Fuj saves his partner!! He boots Jobber down but Parallax chop blocks him down. Cult gets up and tosses Parallax to the floor, who drags out the Fuj. Jobber knocks down Cult then goes back to the knux as the ref is preoccupied but Cult dodges the swing and catches Jobber with an elbow smash to the side of the head then takes the knux and connects with Jobber's head before putting him away with the Jackknife to retain the title. After the match, a battered and blinded Vinson comes out holding his briefcase. He points to the BoD SummerSlam, or tries, as he is blinded and points to Hoss slapping around the guy at the Organic Vegetable Stand instead. Cult looks at Vinson then laughs and points to the belt around his waist as we are out of time.
The line is "You want room 12A just along the corridor."
ReplyDeleteINTERNET RAAAAAGE!!
Costanza going back to work after all that was always a favorite episode of mine (tied for first place with every other one)
ReplyDelete"Paul Heyman made me want to see Cena/Lesnar. The problem is, he makes me want to see Cena win. I'm not allowed to say that here, right? But it shows he's a masterful heel manager, and he's one of the best of all time in the main event."
ReplyDeleteWhat's wrong with a heel making you want to see a babyface win? Isn't that what wrestling has been all about?
Sorry, been too long since I saw that sketch.
ReplyDeleteThat episode is pretty bad. It's generally considered one of the weaker Seinfeld episodes.
ReplyDeleteHow was the finish Cesaro Ambrose lousy? It protected both guys
ReplyDeletePartly because I'm not a fan of a babyface intentionally throwing a match. But to be fair, the match having a DQ isn't bad in and of itself... it's the way it happened. Or maybe I was into the match and hated that it didn't have an ending.
ReplyDeleteNot by me.
ReplyDeleteWell, it works because the babyface wasn't there. He'll be back next week no-selling everything to the point that the Summerslam crowd will want to see him get shoot kimura'd.
ReplyDeleteWait, Miz had a match and it wasn't the worst match in the history of the universe? HOW DARE YOU SIR!
ReplyDelete:gets popcorn:
ReplyDelete:enjoys show:
Yeah I'm afraid if wanting to see Cena win is a problem then you don't understand the whole point of this song and dance
ReplyDeleteThe scene where George and Jerry discuss jobs is funny, the rest, not so much
ReplyDeleteZiggler carried it like a champ.
ReplyDeleteBuddy,I'm finally on vacation.
ReplyDeleteI think it's one of those things where they probably shouldn't have even booked that match because neither guy really should be losing, that's why I was actually happy it went to a DQ.
ReplyDeleteThat HHH promo mocking internet smarks and the fact that their sole course of action is whining on social media was pretty awesome. There were lols.
ReplyDeleteAlright!
ReplyDelete:high 5:
***1/2 somehow.
ReplyDeleteAlso besides the faulty Cena logic, I'm not sure why doing the Paige turn on a C PPV makes more sense than on RAW when many more people are watching.
ReplyDeleteLarry and Dick Ebersol were not too civil with each other.
ReplyDeleteBecause wanting Cena to win makes you not a real fan. Duh.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite part of the night.
ReplyDeleteI'm also looking forward to the reaction when Cena beats Lesnar AGAIN!
ReplyDeleteMy grades were fucking high.
ReplyDelete"Stupid git."
ReplyDeleteSo, on a scale of CM Punk to Rob Van Dam...
ReplyDeleteMiz is not a bad wrestler, really.
ReplyDeleteStill want him to die in a fire, though.
I'm actually looking forward to that as well, will the fans finally riot?
ReplyDelete"No I'm not."
ReplyDeleteYou can't get rid of me. There's holes in my chest and stakes sticking out, but none of them hit the heart.
ReplyDeleteIf by riot, you mean complain on the internet and tune into raw the next night, absolutely.
ReplyDeleteAbuse says it's sorry? That's deep.
ReplyDeleteRise above barbarism!
ReplyDeleteI dunno if it was better than him realizing his wife wasn't *that* important in the scheme of things.
ReplyDeleteWe need a good trash throwing.
ReplyDeleteI miss WCW.
ReplyDeleteThis show picked up after the Miz/Ziggler match.
ReplyDeleteHaving Cesaro with HHH is a better idea than sticking with Heyman so hopefully that will get him over again.
The Wyatt/Jericho stuff is still awful.
"Paul Heyman made me want to see Cena/Lesnar. The problem is, he makes me want to see Cena win. I'm not allowed to say that here, right?"
ReplyDeleteNo, you're not. YOU MUST LEAVE NOW
Recommendation: SNME from March 1988. Valentine/Beefcake, Savage/DiBiase, and Hogan/Race. Shockingly good show.
ReplyDeleteIs that when George says he always wanted to be an architect?
ReplyDeleteNow that makes me wanna see Cena winning.
ReplyDeleteIt further builds on Ambrose's unpredictable character, though.
ReplyDeleteGreat work with this recap. I wouldn't focus too much on playing it safe, though, even given last night's debacle. Otherwise, on some level, you're playing into what the haters want: to have a greater influence in the blog community than they already do.
ReplyDeleteStick with what feels right to you as a fan. It takes work and dedication to post these recaps and a lot of us appreciate your opinions and efforts.
If anything, check out 4-5 other RAW recaps and take a couple notes on the stuff that other recappers do that you appreciate.
Thanks again for not walking away.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LCggmsCXk4
ReplyDelete*reads article*
ReplyDeleteGee I wonder if he ever makes it into the NFL
Heh, this was written back in 2004, just after he'd left WWE the first time.
ReplyDeleteHe won't do what you tell him.
ReplyDeleteWhat a goofy picture of him.
ReplyDeleteEvery picture of Brock is goofy. Frightening, yet goofy.
ReplyDeleteBest $150 I ever spent.
ReplyDeleteDon't laugh at him face to face, he'll kill you.
ReplyDeleteWould have been more authentic if Paige had yelled, "this is my flat!"
ReplyDeleteOnly if they were in the UK.
ReplyDeleteCongrats Trips, you insulted smarks! Bet that'll make enough money to compensate for your company's stock crashing as a result of a gamble that may not ever pan out, right? Oh wait.
ReplyDeleteJust saw a quick punk interview from
ReplyDeleteThat red carpet gig he had... No homo. Guy looks good.
Miz has always been carryable, look back at his Bryan and Morrison matches, and he's also finally a heel again which he is much better at.
ReplyDeleteHHH's shoot, Ziggler winning, Paige skipping, Ryder winning, Slater and Rida, Steph getting arrested, and Heyman's promo were the highlights of the night.
ReplyDeletePfftt, looks good if you like SKINNYFAT
ReplyDeleteHHH is down, but not out.
ReplyDeleteI mean this without irony, if the Nation is coming back with a heel turned Kofi/Big E/Henry with Xavier as their mouthpiece, I am so there, man.
ReplyDeleteFor awhile I thought you were makng a parody of "We Didn't Start The Fire"
ReplyDeleteThat reminds me: could someone tell me where this so-called Atlantic article is?
ReplyDeleteGeneral manager of a baseball team....
ReplyDeleteThe clanging noise after Slater flew off streak kinda killed me.
ReplyDeletePipe down or I'll kick your skinnyfatass
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately due to budget constraints, they'll have noone to feud with.
ReplyDeleteIt was linked to the blog last week sometime. Search for "WWE is RACIST."
ReplyDeleteTime to see Kofi as a heel, possibly.
ReplyDeleteThey noticed!
ReplyDelete:lol:
Leave noone out of this.
ReplyDeleteI'm really curious about how that might go. I have a sneaking suspicion he might be good at it.
ReplyDeleteSummerslam (so far)
ReplyDeleteCena vs. Lesnar - hell yes
Rollins vs. Ambrose - hell yes
Reigns vs. Orton - interesting as this is Reigns first big singles test
Rusev vs. Swagger - crowd is digging it, so yes
Brie vs. Steph - crowd is digging it, they should overbook the hell out of this
AJ vs. Paige - new wrinkle added with the Paige heel turn
Wyatt vs. Jericho - screw this stupid shit
IC Title Match - Miz, Ziggler, Sheamus, Cesaro? - hopefully Ziggler/Miz, people are loving Ziggler but I could see them making this a multi-man match to get some more guys on the show.
Pre Show - Tag Titles, Usos vs. Xavier Woods' Nation - Maybe, who knows?
Hah! I'm just watching RAW, the tiny GotG preview looked like it was playing on Rusev's massive chest.
ReplyDeleteA Bryan run-in during Brie-Steph? Crowd will lose their shit.
ReplyDeleteThis is the least surprising thing I've read all day.
ReplyDeleteNeeds more Sting.
ReplyDeleteThey forgot to show where he said Santa and the Easter Bunny were real
ReplyDeleteHe'll be back at some point.
ReplyDeleteI believe him. Why would he? He's got money, he accomplished everything he wanted outside of headlining WM, and he can chill at home in Chicago a married happy man, not getting the shit beat out of him, on the road 300+ days a year, and not having HHH find a way for Punk to job to him. I hope he's done and finds a life outside the ring, not many are that lucky.
ReplyDeleteLouis Spicolli.
ReplyDeleteWell, he has the right to believe whatever he wants to believe. People don't have to like it, but his views are his own.
ReplyDeleteThe clean shaven look really suits him better
ReplyDeleteGood for him. Had an awesome career, made his money, seems to be getting out with his health, and married a hot chick.
ReplyDeleteNow what the fuck bullshit awards show was he hosting?
I'd love to see them bring Mark Henry in as the leader. He could be in the main event scene again.
ReplyDeleteI'll say this. He looks happier and healthier than I've ever seen him.
ReplyDeletePffftt since when do we believe what wrestlers tell us?
ReplyDeleteMARKS
Something that was at the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland. AP Awards
ReplyDeleteMatch vs Austin at Mania, right bro?
ReplyDeleteTo quote one of my favorite movies, "You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you cocksucker? You can't take this, how can you take the abuse you get on a sit?"
ReplyDeleteHe looks relaxed and like he is enjoying himself
ReplyDeleteSelfishly as a fan of course I'll always want him to come back, but I also like the idea of him being the one who just up and said "nah, I'm good, thanks!" and told them to go screw.
ReplyDeleteYou're right though, he looks like he made the right decision.
Fuck yeah bro! This year
ReplyDeleteHe should stay retired and healthy.
ReplyDeleteAlthough, one last run would be cool.
Remember watching Hogan/Race on the SNME DVD a few years back (DVDs, remember those???) and it was lots of fun. Actually, rewatching a bunch of Hogan's stuff from SNME has given me a renewed appreciation for him. His TV matches were way better than anyone gives him credit for.
ReplyDeleteI get where your coming from but he's young and has a fuck ton of leverage. I'm not saying he's ever gonna work a full schedule but at some point in the next 3 to 5 years why not a work two month program? He's a genius for the business and coukd call his own shots. Plus there is nothing he can do to bring in that kind of money. At some point a 800k to 1 mil payday for say 2 ppvs may look appealing.
ReplyDelete"You see this watch? That watch costs more than your car. I made $970,000 last year. How much'd you make?"
ReplyDeleteI feel like making a list
ReplyDelete1)I love seeing him piss on the wwe code like this
2)I wish he could have gone out on some epic angle or at least had one last match with Bryan
3)hbk came back, Bret hart sort of came back (technically he wrestled a match) he'll be back for some kind of deal
No, I respectfully disagree. I don't think anything the WWE could do at this point could possibly make me want to see John Cena win over Lesnar. Cena has been a ridiculously overpowered GOD MODE being for so friggin' LONG that it will be refreshing to see someone actually decisively BEAT him. That is, IF he doesn't get right back up and cut a goofy fucking promo AGAIN.
ReplyDeleteDown the road. He's 35 right? 5 year window for a comeback. A lot of shit changes in six months much less 5 years ya know.
ReplyDeleteHe says it jokingly and immediately refers to how it will annoy people on Twitter, so I'd hardly say it's a definite claim. That being said, I don't expect him to wrestle again for a long while. I hope he never wrestles for WWE again as I like the idea of someone standing up to them. He could easily (and I think quite happily) do a match or two for ROH down the line if he felt like it. Only reason I could see him returning to WWE is to cross the Main Event of 'Mania off his bucket list. Given how much Steph, in particular, seems to despise him for leaving, I doubt he'll be offered that spot.
ReplyDeleteYeah, those are some unpleasant views, but as long as he's not actually beating up or harassing gay people, you've kind of got to just shrug and move on.
ReplyDeleteI did laugh though at how the article started with Brock Hates Gays and further down led into "in fact it was Tony Dungy who suggested he try and make it in the NFL"
My existence is undeniable proof that Punk will return. MY RECORD SPEAKS FOR ITSELF:
ReplyDeleteIn seventh grade, I attended No Way Out 2000. That's the last we all saw Cactus Jack....for about five weeks.
2008, I drive down to Kissimmee from Knoxville for Mania. I saw Ric Flair wrestle his LAST MATCH ever...without a shirt on....maybe???
And back in January, my buddy John cajoled me into making the drive up to Pittsburgh for the Rumble. Known to no one but him, CM Punk wrestled his last match.
I WAS ONCE BLIND, BUT NOW I CAN SEE...
Agreed on Cesaro, him as The Authority's muscle is a great spot for him right now. Those killer matches with Bryan last summer were a big part of what got Cesaro over again in the first place, so let him do that for a few months with Ambrose, who's basically becoming the new Bryan.
ReplyDeleteDisagree on Jericho/Bray though. Thought tonight was good ol' fashioned pro wrestling booking. Heel attacks face, leaves him bloody, tells the world he's gonna destroy the face for good. Bray got major heat from the crowd when that was done.
The main thing, to me, with that feud is it feels like the same exact stuff Wyatt did when he debuted last year.
ReplyDeleteThe promos are too similar and if anything, having beat Jericho before feuding with Cena might have helped Wyatt but after losing to Cena, Wyatt has cooled off. He even got the "What" chants at times during his promo.
Meekin hasn't seen it. One of my all time faves
ReplyDeleteBTW years ago I saw the play when they did the Broadway revival with Alan alada liev Schreiber and Jeffrey tambor. This is like 2005 or 2006 so I've seen the movie say 30 times, love it. Much to my chagrin that scene isn't in the play!!!! Made me love the movie that much more, and watched it that night after the show.
Ambrose is insane. This completely fits the character. He didn't give a shit that he lost the match. I'm hoping he becomes a modern-day Bruiser Brody that doesn't refuse to do jobs. And doesn't get stabbed in a shower in Puerto Rico of course.
ReplyDeletePunk showing up in NJPW might be the inspiration I need to actually follow Japanese wrestling. That'd be cool were it to happen.
ReplyDeleteI've never seen Punk so laid back and happy. Pretty cool.
Miz as a midcard heel who gets beat in the end is a perfectly fine spot for him. He's doing a nice job with the whole moneymaker gimmick.
ReplyDeleteIt's Miz as a baby face that was completely unwatchable. He just couldn't pull it off at all.
God I love Ricky Roma...
ReplyDeleteHe's married to an active wrestler. He'll get the itch or have an idea that they like and he'll be back for another run at some point. No big deal...let him enjoy making his own schedule for a change for a while.
ReplyDeleteWhat's your name?
ReplyDeleteFuck you. That's my name.
You know why, mister? 'Cause you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight, I drove an eighty thousand dollar BMW. *That's* my name.
And with that, my interest in him comes to a (likely temporary) close.
ReplyDeleteI was interested in CM Punk the professional wrestler. He was unique and seemingly hard-working and very entertaining.
I am not interested, yet, in Phil Brooks the former CM Punk. Maybe he will do something that catches my eye. But, I can only think of a couple other times where a guy left the business and I remained as interested (or almost as interested).
Good luck. Hope you change your mind someday
That scene was specifically written for the movie, as shown by the fact that Alec Baldwin only appears in said scene.
ReplyDeleteAh, by the end he was getting intense boos like a heel should.
ReplyDeleteHere's what I would do from this point though. Wyatt wins at Summerslam, obviously. And then to up the ante for round 3, Jericho puts his career on the line for Night of Champions. Not hss contract or leaving Raw, but full on total retirement.
Bray wins, and then he gets the heat of ending Chris Jericho's career for good. He could heel on that for years.
Dude, he was laughing as he said it. He'll probably be back at some point.
ReplyDeleteBut if not, who cares? He never cheated me out of my money, he gave it his all whenever I paid to see him, so as far as I'm concerned, more power to him. He looked great, like retirement was agreeing with him. I'd love to see him wrestle again, but I think it's nice to see a wrestler go out healthy and relatively happy. Happy trails.
"Well that's really not fair"
ReplyDeleteYou think I'm fucking with you. I am not fucking with you. I'm here from downtown. I'm here from Mitch and Murray.
ReplyDeleteBack in college I used to be buy dope from a guy named Mitch. You can imagine the amount of times I uses that line when I came back.
Ever see that youtube video of some local podunk production of Glengarry, with the local actors basically doing impressions of the guys from the movie? Goddamn hilarious.
ReplyDeleteHe did get some boos at the end of the promo. You are right.
ReplyDeleteAs far as the feud itself, there is nothing really wrong with it but more of a personal preference. It doesnt do anything for me.
Jericho coming back as a heel to put over a younger guy might work but at the end of the day, I do not know how much Wyatt is going to be helped by this feud.
How was her crumb cake?
ReplyDeleteOh...from the store.
Fuck her.
No coffee. Coffee's for closers.
ReplyDeleteDepends on what happens in the two (presumed) Wyatt wins. The last match needs to end with Jericho getting absolutely destroyed, and preferably retired. That'd be pretty big.
ReplyDeleteThanks dbsm now I have to watch the movie again.
ReplyDelete2nd prize, a set of steak knives. 3rd prize, you're fired.
I hate to break it to you, but neither CM Punk the wrestler nor Phil Brooks the former CM Punk are interested in you. :)
ReplyDeleteOh, I gonna have your job, shithead. I'm going downtown, I'm gonna talk to Mitch and Murray. I'm going to Limpkin. I don't care whose nephew you are, who you know, whose dick you're sucking on, you're going out. I swear to you, you're going
ReplyDeleteOther than the fact that his Royal Rumble appearance was a shitty way to see him go, I kinda hope that we don't see Punk back.
ReplyDeleteThat said ... being so quick to drop that "other obligations on a Monday" line shows wrestling is still top of mind for this guy. And the "they're gonna hold me to it" remark shows that even *he* doesn't really anticipate keeping his word.
Goldberg as the ref!
ReplyDeleteGlengarry glen Ross...greatest cast of all time?
ReplyDeletePretty stacked.
ReplyDeletePacino
Lemmon
Arkin
Baldwin
Harris
Spacey
This sounds awesome. Can you tell me what it is?
ReplyDeleteWyatt needs to make a pretty big statement for this to work, IMO.
ReplyDeleteGlengarry Glen Ross
ReplyDeleteFree country and he's absolutely entitled to his opinion.
ReplyDeleteThis country isn't free. I can't yell "Holy shit theres a bomb" in a crowded theater without repercussions! That compromises my democratic values!
ReplyDeleteDude watch it tonight. Its that good.
ReplyDeleteKind of--- I mean, I hope this ends awesomely and with Jericho doing more than just losing and saying "Peace, gotta go cameo in Macgruber 2!" But even if it's just Wyatt getting a few wins against Jericho, it works. How many times does a feud actually MAKE someone? Rarely. A feud in which Bray ends up going over Chris Jericho still ends up a net positive, even if it doesn't end up being spectacular.
ReplyDeleteBray's a year in, nothing is gonna absolutely MAKE his career right now, ya know?
Ocean's Eleven through Thirteen was up there.
ReplyDeleteGood for him, hope he sticks to it.
ReplyDelete*20 years later*
ReplyDeleteHey look guys, Phil "CM Punk" Brooks is a mechanic at a Toyota dealership!
And the best part was even though the cast itself was hit and miss, in the movies it was literally all 500 ft upper deck moonshots except for Julia Roberts.
ReplyDeleteHe'll be back, they always come back...
ReplyDeleteHe's fat, grinning, and wearing a polo!
ReplyDeleteI'm definitely interested.
ReplyDeleteStephanie getting arrested angle? Did anyone here besides me love it?
ReplyDeleteWe absolutely need some "Mountie at Summerslam '91"- style vignettes from her night in prison, though.
You're 100% right actually. This country is pretty fucking far from free (Jules). And forget about the government our own population is out to limit free speech.
ReplyDeleteI should have said, "He's absolutely entitled to his opinion and anyone who disagrees is way more dangerous than a homophone."
YOU WANT THE FINGER? I'LL SHOW YOU THE FINGER
ReplyDeleteHe went to Cleveland? Glad he buried the hatchet with us.
ReplyDeleteCrowd seemed to dig it. In fact, I wouldn't have minded if they teased it on the dot-com all week, then paid it off at NEXT week's Raw. That would've been even better.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad he's gone honestly, do I like seeing him in the ring, yeah but I don't want to see him burnt out and racking up injuries just for my entertainment. Didn't Nash say Punk might have some degenerative discs? That's not something to fuck around with. Having said that, I Di think he'll be back down the road but never full time. He'll get bored of whatever he's doing, get the itch and want to work a program or two. I just hope he's physically up to it and doesn't push his body to a breaking point if he comes back.
ReplyDeleteNash says a lot of things!
ReplyDeleteHe is. But that doesn't mean he's not bulletproof from criticism on what he says.
ReplyDeleteHe should tease us into thinking he's gonna do cool spots.
ReplyDeleteHAHHAHAHAHA god that was so much better than it had any right to be.
ReplyDeleteThe next 3 weeks better have Steph in prison videos. Fuck! She should recruit some huge female inmate to be her new bodyguard.
This is WRESTLING guys? You don't wanna get banged up any more? You don't QUIT, you do colour commentary! COME ON
ReplyDeleteBray needs to win a feud though at some point.
ReplyDeleteYUP. Promising Stephanie in prison videos is a really fun hook for next week.
ReplyDeleteI've never heard that before.
ReplyDeleteI still rememeber that clear as day as a 9 year old at my friends house.
ReplyDeleteThose were all great sketches
I enjoy it, if this was the 90's they would capitalize on the story more. Too bad May Young isn't still alive, that could have made some fun prison segments.
ReplyDeleteTamina.....
ReplyDeleteI'm just joking around here nick ive heard that once or twice.
ReplyDelete...anyone else hoping Stephanie binge-watches Orange is the New Black this week?
ReplyDeleteWell I'd be shocked if he doesn't win the Jericho feud.
ReplyDeleteAnd he won the Daniel Bryan feud (beat him clean at TLC and the Rumble) and the Wyatts won the Shield feud. Cena's the only feud he lost so far, but fuck it it's Cena. Dude beat BROCK in his first match back, what can you do.
EAT. SLEEP. ELIMINATE "WHEN LAST WE LEFT OUR HEROES". REPEAT.
ReplyDeleteThat would then be a McMahon actually up to date.
ReplyDeleteI didn't see raw except for the end (great) but I padded my stats with a little glengarry glen Ross talk and some 1st amendment grandstanding. I'd say my work is done here.
ReplyDeleteThey really screwed the pooch by not having Bray go over Cena. Cena could've taken the loss without breaking a sweat — hell, it would have made him a more interesting character. But Bray losing (especially after already losing to Bryan, who admittedly had to go over) took all his heat away.
ReplyDeleteOh man, if only they did this segment in Canada, The Mountie could have been the one to process her at the jail! Would have been the greatest callback ever.
ReplyDeleteAs for tonight, HHH deciding not to follow her to jail was a great example of actually good WWE comedy. Really funny stuff.
This is the first time I've seen Punk not looking miserable and actually seemed like a nice guy.
ReplyDeleteIf this is the case, Punk should just stay away for good. It's clearly helping him health and personality-wise.
Steph sold the whole thing well.
ReplyDeleteShe was a pro tonight.
Hahahaha
ReplyDeleteMentioning the injuries like he did is more noteworthy to me, and that he looks the best I've ever seen him. If he actually stays away, I don't blame him.
ReplyDeleteClearly in jest.
ReplyDelete*hope mode activated*
And Brie was actually really over. Maybe it's pro-Bryan, anti-Cena bias, but has Brie jumped light years ahead of Nikki ability-wise or what? Should actually be a fun mid card match at Summerfest.
ReplyDeleteNow the question--- should they involve Bryan or what? Is it worth the pop to involve him as the cornerman in a women's match, which would look a little sad.
I missed a bunch but I thought the show was decent. I thought Miz/Ziggler was a perfectly good match for a Raw. The girls were way better tonight. I liked the new NOD thing. Rusev was whatever, Lana is hot. Heyman's promo was tits, but I definitely don't want to see Cena win, not at all.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure AJ will want to take half eventually, right?
ReplyDeleteIts more likely than not they will get divorced.
ReplyDeletePaging Dr. Nash, Paging Dr. Nash
ReplyDeleteHe facially aged about 15 years during his 3-4 years as an upper card/main event attraction. I've said it before but compare the SES titantron to his last appearances in wrestling. SES Punk looks like that guy's much more physically built son.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds weird to say this about a guy who made wrestling his life but maybe being a full time WWE guy just wasn't for him.
If punk shows up in TNA you would
ReplyDeleteA) start watching impact every week
B)Lose all respect for cm punk
C)not know about it because it's in TNA
d) All of the above
ReplyDeleteConsidering that he loves to "work" the internet, I'd take his comments with a grain of salt (especially the NEVER EVER part, which was clearly said with a wink and a nod).
ReplyDeleteThat said, assume he WANTS to come back.
The only thing we know he wants is a WM main event.
He has the following people against him:
Triple H, who thinks he disrespected the company and would be against letting a guy walk out and then leverage it against him because of the precedent it would set.
Stephanie, who thinks he disrespected her family.
The majority of the locker room, who thought he was a dickhole (spoiler: yes).
Many old-timers with stroke who think he made a huge mistake and don't appreciate his method of handling the situation.
He has the following people on his side:
Vince McMahon (maybe).
At this point, Vince would have to personally decree that he get a WM main event to make that happen. And he COULD, but will he? Probably not.
I mean, they've taken potshots at him on TV recently. Vince wouldn't be allowing that if he currently felt that he and Punk could come to terms anytime soon.
It's over on both sides. The company doesn't want or need him back and he has no reason to want to come back.
Definitely not A. I'd hear about it so C is out. Given how much he hated TNA during the whole Raven thing, B is most likely answer.
ReplyDeleteYour inferring a lot of stuff there Stan.
ReplyDeleteI don't think being a full-time WWE guy is really good for anyone's health or long-term wellbeing.
ReplyDeleteMaybe he goes to ufc and wins the belt?
ReplyDeleteD) See what he's doing, probably see that it's dumb and go back to ignoring TNA
ReplyDeleteHey man, he tapped Chris Jericho out with that Anaconda Vice. Chris Jericho.
ReplyDeleteI don't care that Punk is gone, I want to see Lesnar destroy Cena at Summerslam.
ReplyDeleteI don't know how much of that is true, but I think many are overestimating how much WWE values Punk. If he returns in a part-time role, I think at best he's like where Jericho is now. Especially if he pissed people off while leaving, which appears likely.
ReplyDeleteIt would be a solid bet that he will, but I'm rooting for him to stick to his guns as long as he can.
ReplyDeleteSo his final moment in the business is being chokeslammed through a table by Kane.
ReplyDeleteYeah no. He'll come back for one last run ala Stone Cold in 2003. But i do believe that the days of him even being a part timer like HHH or Brock are over.
For the love of all that is holy, either stop going to WWE shows, it wait until Miz and Cena are in a Loser Leaves WWE match. At least then we all win.
ReplyDeleteThat's impressive because Jericho literally knows over 1000 holds. They should give him some sort of nickname to emphasize that.
ReplyDeleteYeah but 2/3s of them are ARMBARS
ReplyDeleteI thought it was pretty clear at the end that Punk saying he would never come back to wrestling was said with tongue planted firmly in cheek. He even kidded it by calling it out right then and there by referring to twitter and being held to it. Of course this being the Blog of Doom there'll be plenty of social retards incapable of reading between the lines.
ReplyDeleteAll of that is common sense based on out-of-character statements by involved parties or the actions of same.
ReplyDeleteThe inferring is the speculation about pay, royalties, network payouts, dream matches with Austin, what underwear he was wearing when he quit, etc.
Ok
ReplyDeleteSeems to work for Rousey.
ReplyDelete