Dixie Carter Promising a Big Announcement
Carter has reportedly told some of the TNA talent to expect a major announcement very soon and also claimed that they were in negotiations with someone who would "shock people" and have a new signing that they expect to bring some buzz on the product.
Credit Dave Meltzer, Wrestling Observer Newsletter
Adrian Neville Update
Neville has been getting good crowd reactions at WWE live events and the company has started to notice and has been praising is work backstage.
Credit Wrestling Inc
Willie Mack Update
According to Dave Meltzer of the Wrestling Observer Newsletter, Mack had something come up in his physical or medical testing that has not come out and the delayed his start with the company until 11/1 but that the WWE ultimately decided not to use him at all and let him go.
Credit Dave Meltzer, Wrestling Observer Newsletter
RoH Glory By Honor Main Event Announced
The main event of Jay Briscoe defending his RoH Title against ACH will main even the 11/15 PPV.
http://pwinsider.com/article/88906/roh-glory-by-honor-main-event-is.html?p=1
Place to be Nation Welcomes the Newest Installment of the Kevin Kelly Show
Episode 20 with guest Kyle O'Reilly has just been posted from the fine folks at Place to be Nation. Click the link below to listen to the interview.
http://placetobenation.com/the-kevin-kelly-show-episode-20-featuring-kyle-oreilly/
Carter has reportedly told some of the TNA talent to expect a major announcement very soon and also claimed that they were in negotiations with someone who would "shock people" and have a new signing that they expect to bring some buzz on the product.
Credit Dave Meltzer, Wrestling Observer Newsletter
Adrian Neville Update
Neville has been getting good crowd reactions at WWE live events and the company has started to notice and has been praising is work backstage.
Credit Wrestling Inc
Willie Mack Update
According to Dave Meltzer of the Wrestling Observer Newsletter, Mack had something come up in his physical or medical testing that has not come out and the delayed his start with the company until 11/1 but that the WWE ultimately decided not to use him at all and let him go.
Credit Dave Meltzer, Wrestling Observer Newsletter
RoH Glory By Honor Main Event Announced
The main event of Jay Briscoe defending his RoH Title against ACH will main even the 11/15 PPV.
http://pwinsider.com/article/88906/roh-glory-by-honor-main-event-is.html?p=1
Place to be Nation Welcomes the Newest Installment of the Kevin Kelly Show
Episode 20 with guest Kyle O'Reilly has just been posted from the fine folks at Place to be Nation. Click the link below to listen to the interview.
http://placetobenation.com/the-kevin-kelly-show-episode-20-featuring-kyle-oreilly/
*looks up list of recently released WWE guys...*
ReplyDeleteJustin Roberts and Josh Matthews are invading, NWO style brother
ReplyDeleteTNA News:
ReplyDeleteExpectation: CM Punk
Reality: Vince Russo
or the announcement will be:
EVERYTHING IS FINE.
Jinder Mahal will shock the world when he enters TNA as.................................Sanjeep Patel
ReplyDeleteDoes anyone have an inkling of who this "shocking" signing would be? Outside of AJ Styles coming back, I can't think of anyone out there that would go to TNA and make a lick of difference...
ReplyDeleteThat was actually my guess. That or Del Rio
ReplyDeleteThey need a couple of high flyer's like Neville on the main WWE rooster i feel. Who else is going to get punched by Kane for 5 minutes, dropkick his knee to comeback for ten seconds, and then get pinned with a chokeslam out of nowhere?
ReplyDeleteJustin Roberts in a jean vest: You know who I am, but you don't know why I'm here.
ReplyDeleteThe Rock.
ReplyDeleteUnless it's a network deal, the announcement will have zero impact. Literally no wrestler will help TNA at this point.
ReplyDeleteIt's Vince McMahon... have you SEEN him lately?
ReplyDeleteTNA? a shocking signing?
ReplyDeleteWell, there really is only one possibility.
Gobbledygooker.
I completely forgot about Del Rio. Which kind of proves a point about Del Rio.
ReplyDeleteWHAT THE HELL IS ALBERT OF THE RIVER DOING IN THE IMPACT ZONE?
ReplyDeleteClearly you forgot about him because you hate all Latinos.
ReplyDeleteAs much as we razz on the company for never giving smaller people a look, they sure have a lot of high flyers / smaller competitors coming up through the system. Neville, Zayn, Breeze, now Kenta and Devitt to the mix as well. I'll say this, they have the talent to be spectacular in a few years.
ReplyDelete"As much as we razz on the company for never giving smaller people a
ReplyDeletelook, they sure have a lot of high flyers / smaller competitors coming
up through the system. Neville, Zayn, Breeze, now Usagi Yojimbo and Devitt to
the mix as well."
FTFY
I like the cut of your jib.
ReplyDeleteProbably something like...
ReplyDelete"HOLY SHIT TAZ STING HAS COME BACK TO THE IMPACT ZONE!"
Goddammit dish network. Why would I want to watch like the boz? Fuck you.
ReplyDelete#HEALTHFOOD
Rube Baker, is that you?
ReplyDeleteThe rest of the world: "And we don't give a fuck, either."
ReplyDeleteSi, es la verdad, Senor.
ReplyDelete@Brian_Bayless TNA has clearly signed Tony Garea to a legends deal.
ReplyDeleteWhy are TNA so dumb? I'm sure the internet is full of "omg CM PUNK", "omg BATISTA" type stuff already, when you know it'll be some low-level WWE cut that nobody cares about. Why do they always over hype when they KNOW they're going to under deliver? God. Just die already.
ReplyDeleteThat would be earth-shattering. Expect Impact to pull a 5.0 rating the first night
ReplyDeleteIf Usagi Yojimbo is there, can Bebop and Rocksteady be far behind?
ReplyDeleteI knew it! tÃo Tom!
ReplyDelete5.0?!? You are underestimating the power of Garea!
ReplyDeleteMy Mexican mother will be so ashamed of me!
ReplyDeleteHey, he needs time to warm up the ratings. 7+ in Week 2 or BUST!
ReplyDeleteAnd it would be Tio Tomas!
ReplyDeleteTNA signed the Shockmaster?
ReplyDeleteI was going to make a joke about breaking the news to her while she was cleaning my house... but there are lines...
ReplyDeleteWho's going to put the 2X4 on the entrance ramp this time?
ReplyDelete... and you break them anyway. What's one more?
ReplyDeleteWell, TNA
ReplyDeleteYou know, someone made that joke here, and then I saw the 411 post about it, with a clip of Shockmaster falling on his ass embedded in the link. I think we're over it.
ReplyDeleteSting
ReplyDeleteLuger - who can walk better these days - so maybe they would give him an ambassador role.
Jim Duggan
Kurgan
Z-Gangsta
C M Punk - which has been totally denied
Alberto Del Rio - Rumor is he got some kind of settlement for the no compete clause.
Jericho
Matt and Jeff Hardy
Amy Dumas
A J Lee
A J Styles
Raven
Shane Douglas
George Grey
George Steele
It's got to be some type of gambit to try and improve their chances at getting on a network, because you'd think the moment they have a deal in place, there would be an almost-immediate press release to start hammering the new details.
ReplyDeleteLelouch and the Elric Brothers or GTFO
ReplyDeleteNo.
ReplyDeleteNo.
No.
Maybe?
Dear God No.
(laughter, of the mocking variety)
Whatever.
No.
Already there.
Whatever.
(more mocking laughter)
(EVEN MORE mocking laughter)
Doubtful.
Target let him go?
Who?
When pigs fly.
They're going to send me back to Omaha and I don't even live there!
ReplyDeleteI'm on pain medication; is it bad that it took me a few seconds to realize who you were referring to? My inner child weeps crocodile tears.
ReplyDeleteYeah because Justin Roberts having twenty minutes to shoot on Michael Cole will go over as well as Curt Hennig shooting on Brock Lesnar at 10,000 feet.
ReplyDeleteHis speech to Willie in the locker room is what turned the season around. He is da man.
ReplyDeleteSomeone shooting on Michael Cole is always must-see TV.
ReplyDelete... well, must-see on YouTube at least.
... okay, maybe not even then.
Please, my mother is the only Mexican woman I know who actually paid a white woman to come to her house to clean it. THAT's the American Dream, bitches.
ReplyDeleteDamn it, where's the love for Rene Goulet? Goulet Foreplay will rise!
ReplyDeleteTNA: What will NOT shock the world: The impending announcement of TNA taking a "hiatus", never to be heard from again.
ReplyDeleteNeville: Cool.
Mack: Damn.
RoH: Okay.
PTBN: (insert cheap pop here.)
Cole gets a bad wrap because he was worked in the E longer than Craig DeGeorge, Jonathan Coachman, Sean (and Ian) Mooney, Kevin Kelly, Todd Pettingzoo and other b-rated announcers.
ReplyDelete"shock people" Hmm.... well quite clearly TNA has signed the .......... Shockmaster.
ReplyDelete+1 for Pettingzoo, -10 for dissing Coach. And -5 for dissing Hermie. And -5 more for dissing Mooney.
ReplyDeleteDeGeorge isn't worth anything either way.
"Shock people."
ReplyDeleteIt's the return of WCW's CHAMBER OF HORRORS!
Remember that feud in TNA with Dusty Rhodes and the midget ... In a trash can? Or Dusty feuding with Nikta Kololf for no reason. Or David Flair having daddy's old copy of the NWA title in a bag wrestling Dusty Rhodes for it and Nikita turned face instead and climed the ladder to win the match for Dusty.
ReplyDeleteIf that had been at BfG, with Muta again spraying a random fire on the cage, BUY.
ReplyDelete"Shock people."
ReplyDeleteIt's THE MOUNTIE!!
(And he always gets his man.)
And what is Albert of the Prince doing with him.
ReplyDeleteCALIBER WINFIELD IS IN THE IMPACT ZONE!
ReplyDelete#HOSSAPPROVED
ReplyDeleteGeorge Grey -- One Man Gang -- Doooooooooo
ReplyDeleteMy day is complete!
ReplyDelete"O-Oh, my God! Is that Shelton Benjamin's Momma? Here in the Impact Zone!?!"
ReplyDelete"No, it's the "Royal Upper Northern Steed Riding Officer of the Peace! Get it right, Tazz! Or just call him by his initials: Runsrop"
ReplyDelete"SOMEBODY CALLED HIS MOMMA!?"
ReplyDeleteIs Thea Vitale still living? Or did they hire someone new?
ReplyDelete... or is that still too close? Should they call him Porsnur instead?
ReplyDeleteTNA has signed The Killer Bees!!
ReplyDeleteTheme music: "I'm not not the Mountie."
ReplyDeleteAh, then that gets a "No."
ReplyDelete(Research can be hard when I'm lazy.)
Uh-oh... can The Iron Shiek be far behind?
ReplyDelete"According to Dave Meltzer of the Wrestling Observer Newsletter, Mack had something come up in his physical or medical testing that has not come out and the delayed his start with the company until 11/1 but that the WWE ultimately decided not to use him at all and let him go."
ReplyDeleteDid they find out that he couldn't dance??
Bob Backlund is in the Impact Zone!!
ReplyDeleteFor reasons I don't understand, this made me think of gay porn.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's all the gay sex.
Yeah, but who's going to slap him this time?
ReplyDeleteJacques Rujeau (The Mountie)
ReplyDeleteCarl Pierre Ouoltte (The dude with the eye patch)
Phil Lafon still living?
Rikishi
Brian Christopher
Scotty Taylor W O R M
The Boogeyman
Horace Hogan
The Big Show
Rey Mysterio
The Bella Twins
Kurt Angle RETURNS
She's still alive as far as I know.
ReplyDeleteNOT THE BEES!
ReplyDeleteDixie Carter just signed a deal with a new debuting superstar who will be called...
ReplyDelete... Chapter 11.
Major announcement sure; but not exactly shocking.
I literally just watched a Killer Bees match on the Network. #Nostalgia
ReplyDeleteWHOMP-ASS French Horn theme or GTFO
ReplyDeleteDon West introduces Fake Fake Razor Ramon and Fake Fake Diesel!
ReplyDeleteDid Brian Blair get humbled?
ReplyDeleteSome people think the Mountie and Ludvig Borga had the same theme music. Those people would be wrong.
ReplyDeleteMore like Fake Nash, Fake Hall, Fake Kane and Fake Rick Titan.
ReplyDeleteThe first two would have to be together, as the "English Canadians".
ReplyDeleteHe is still alive, at the spry age of 53. Perfect for TNA.
Will Dixie's face end up ALL IN THERE?
Not Enough... Hot? Little?
Nah.
Hell no.
WELL... he's too busy laughing to answer.
Does he even make it out of backstage before blowing a knee?
Only if Havoc buries both. Doesn't have to be literal, but I wouldn't complain if it was.
This... is possible. Unlikely, but possible.
"Taz, what's Isaac Yankem's brother, Ishmael, doing in the Impact Zone?!?!"
ReplyDeleteI'm sure by "negotiations" Dixie means she left a voice mail on Punk's phone.
ReplyDeleteScott Norton -- repackaged as Brock Norton
ReplyDeleteSo I'm unable to put much weight on my leg right now, which makes me immobile (not to mention kidney stones, because why not). Not only does my wife subscribe us to the Network as an early anniversary gift, but now she brings me hot wings for breakfast. I'd like to nominate her for sainthood.
ReplyDeleteSounds like her TV negotiations.
ReplyDeleteTNA should sign Chael Sonnen. Just because.
ReplyDeleteLudvig Borga had theme music?
ReplyDelete(checks)
(suddenly gets the urge to stand up and salute)
(shakes head, doesn't do either of those)
That theme is... there.
I think we can safely replace all mentions of the phrase "in negotiations with" with "leaving voicemails with" in all TNA statements.
ReplyDelete#HOSSAPPROVED
ReplyDeleteFAAAACKING BULLSHEEEEEET FAACK THE B BRAN BLER NO GOOD FACKING JEW
ReplyDeleteOh my god, they got a new major cable network deal... and they're signing CM Punk!
ReplyDeleteSeriously, has this company learned nothing in 12 years? They are one or two TV tapings away from ceasing to exist and they're still playing these bullshit games. If there is a new TV or talent deal, announce it. If it's not final, and announcing it might somehow screw it up, then for the love of god don't tease it. They have a fan base desperately hanging on for any positive news of them maintaining their very existence, and Dixie Carter keeps pretending they are one or two chess moves away from toppling WWE from its perch.
Kamala
ReplyDeleteKamala 2
Uganda
Uncle Fred Ottman
Larry Holmes
Sid
C W Anderson
Road kill - chickens
The Great Muta
Masahiro Chono
Ready for a table match?
ReplyDeleteFunny story, I just left to get a cup of coffee and in the plaza at the supermarket I see a Ben & Jerry's truck unattended with the hazards on as the driver was bringing in the shipment. It was there for the taking
ReplyDeleteIf it's not the Shockmaster, then I don't care.
ReplyDeleteNope
ReplyDeleteNope
Nope
Nope
Nope
You know, I could see Sid going there for the check. But doesn't he have a Legends deal?
Doubtful
Doubtful
Already there
Nope.
Hoss will be there as soon as he traces your IP.
ReplyDeleteIf you guys want to hear tons of good stories and insight about developmental and his time in the WWE, the Nova shoot interview recap Disc One will be up at noon.
ReplyDeleteIts truly one of the best shoot interviews in recent memory.
I've been whistling the Mountie's theme for at least the last 20 minutes.
ReplyDelete#HOSSAPPROVED
ReplyDeleteThank you. You finally got that stupid all about the bass song out of my head.
ReplyDeleteMORE OF A FAG THAN MICHAEL JORDAN!! I MEAN JACKSON!
ReplyDeleteEntrance music by Blink 182 the most revolutionary band in music history.
ReplyDeleteIf you are in an office environment, you deserve to get punched then. All whistlers do. :)
ReplyDeleteButterbean
ReplyDeleteMike Barton
Super Dave Osborne
Mike Tyson
Charlie Hass
James Mitchel
David Arquette
Patricia Arquette
Stacy Kiebler and Christy Heme could form a tag team called On MaternityLeave
Al Perez
Rugged Ronnie Garvin
I'm in my own office, holed away from other people who do much more obnoxious shit than me whistling quietly to myself.
ReplyDeleteThat is acceptable then.
ReplyDeleteKiebler and Hemme should be called Beyond The Mat Leave.
ReplyDeleteOnce everything is settled with that company (new tv deal at some point?), they really need to have a new public figurehead for TNA. Dixie no longer has any credibility and can never give the product a major league feel. Let her collect her checks and do her stuff BEHIND the scenes only.
ReplyDelete'MURKA!
ReplyDeleteOK guys, so I think TNA is a dying piece of shit God awful company as much as the next sane person, buuutt... let's pretend for a second that the company is surviving another year. They get a deal with "The Dirtbike Channel" or "Country!" or some other obscure cable network. Is there anything realistic (no CM Punk or STone Cold or even Jim Ross running the company) they could do to turn things around? My suggestion, which they'd never do, is a complete and utter reboot after a hiatus. I'm talking:
ReplyDelete- Finally retire the TNA letters and go with Impact Wrestling Federation
- Kick Tenay and Tazz to the curb and hire, let's say, Josh Matthews & Raven as the announce team
- Gut the current creative, make a big play for Gabe Sabolsky to head the writing team
- Vacate all the titles, start fresh with tournaments to crown new IWF World, Women's, Tag, and X-Division champs
- Make an an announcement on the first show that such and such non-famous person (if Gabe takes over as Exec Producer, let's say it's him) will be the commissioner of IWF and will only appear on the show for major announcements. So basically tell the fans: this show will not have an authority figure as part of the storylines. Make that clear and then follow through.
- Sign a few ex-WWE guys who can still go and could be worth building around (Chris Masters, John Morrison, DRew "Mcintyre" Galloway)
- Sign Chris Hero. Yeah he's fat, but he has some name value and can put people over in good matches.
- Make a play to sign Mike Bennett and Maria away from ROH. Those two could be bigtime star heels.
- Never ever EVER mention Dixie Carter's name again on TV, and keep her away from all media, social and otherwise. The chick is borderline retarded and only does harm by opening her mouth and/or twitter account.
That last one, to me, is probably the most important yet also the least likely to happen.
It will have zero IMPACT? I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE!
ReplyDeleteWhistling is good for the soul.
ReplyDeleteApparently the only thing that scuppered the Jarrett/Keith purchase of TNA was that they insisted Dixie stay front and centre. She'll drag that ship to the bottom of the ocean.
ReplyDeleteFinally Dennis stamp is booked
ReplyDeleteBoth People Watching: "Actually we have no idea who you are."
ReplyDeleteLook up the postmodern jukebox version on YouTube. It'll go right back in there.
ReplyDelete"Hey, why are there skid marks leading out of this cubicle? And where did that large hole in the wall come from? "
ReplyDelete- random coworker
I am going to whistle now just to irritate you thousands of miles away.
ReplyDeleteMy guess? TNA brings in Goldberg.
ReplyDeletePoor ideas dude sorry.
ReplyDeleteWinning idea is make Gene Snitsky champion and build the company around him. 6.6 ratings guaranteed.
Gilberg?
ReplyDeleteAnd if that 6.6 doesn't come in, well, it wasn't his fault.
ReplyDeleteHahaha, beat me to it.
ReplyDeleteAnybody remember the rec.prowrestling joke about Rikishi? That thing was comedy gold.
ReplyDeleteOT: I actually enjoyed The Flash! Who would have guessed? (Well, DBSM did.)
ReplyDelete1. We didn't have to wait A FUCKING DECADE for Barry to discover his powers, put on the iconic suit and get down to superheroing. That puts it miles ahead of Smallville right from the start.
2. Actual science! Well, comic book science, but still. Of course Barry would burn calories at an excessive rate and require a special diet, but most series would just dismiss those details as unimportant. And that's why those shows fail, because they don't understand the audience.
3. Actual drama minus the wangst. Yeah, Barry's had a traumatic life and clearly has issues that haunt his psyche, but he's also a nice, normal, intelligent guy with good friends and a decent job. And he doesn't indulge in pity parties and incessant whining, he just embraces whatever life throws at him and gets down to business.
4. The show doesn't waste any time and moves along at a brisk pace, which is always appreciated.
5. I don't know the mythos, but it's clear they're already setting up some big events. And I almost marked out over the broken cage.
Good stuff so far. We'll see about Arrow.
"You're not bullet-proof. Wait...are you?"
it's the most annoying white noise possible. And those who do it are delusional and clueless enough to think that other people enjoy hearing them. It's absurd.
ReplyDelete"We'll see about Arrow"? Man, Starling City's hero just gets no love!
ReplyDeleteWill there be paper currency on it? Or coins?
ReplyDeleteWow, that was actually unintentional. I guess when you're hot, you're hot!
ReplyDeleteThat second part is a bit of stretch, I know it can be obnoxious, but it's more of a nervous tic than anything else.
ReplyDeleteBig announcements from TNA.
ReplyDelete1) They have a 2 AM slot on TV Land
2) Garrett Bischoff is back in the fold.
News: http://youtu.be/kwoGGKBZScU
ReplyDeleteHe's booked to be the Bunny at the Royal Rumble.
ReplyDeleteThat would be better than the AWF reruns I have been watching.
ReplyDeleteI disagree, and there are definitely things that I would less
ReplyDeleterather hear than whistling.
Right now I will softly whistle The Night They Drove Old
Dixie Down, and it’s dedicated to you Vince.
I was gonna go with the Hallmark Channel and Justin Roberts, myself.
ReplyDeleteQuick, pack up your trampoline Dennis Stamp...TNA is on the phone!
ReplyDeleteLogo and Orlando Jordan.
ReplyDeleteGrseatest wrestling theme of all time: the Mountie's french horn or the Fabulous Rougeau Brothers?
ReplyDeleteALAN DEGENERATE, VERY PRETTY WOMAN.
ReplyDeleteIt's tough, but I go with "All-American Boys" for the win.
ReplyDeleteThere's a really bad joke in there somewhere...
Only if the first two are in a rematch.
ReplyDeleteHe has too much credibility. As does Canadian Comedic Legend Dave Coulier.
Lashley gonna lose an ear with the title?
Haasley? Hass C 3? Hassstar Spud? Hasslow?
Been there, no desire to go back.
PERFECT! He can bury a second world title.
EVEN BETTER! She can make it three after "beating" Havok.
The only team I want them in is in my bed.
He's perfectly mediocre. Exactly what TNA looks for.
Too credible.
Girls in Cars or GTFO.
ReplyDeleteAMERICAN MALES, AMERICAN MALES, AMERICAN MALES, AMERICAN MALES, AMERICAN MALES, AMERICAN MALES, AMERICAN MALES, AMERICAN MALES, AMERICAN MALES, AMERICAN MALES, AMERICAN MALES, AMERICAN MALES, AMERICAN MALES, AMERICAN MALES, AMERICAN MALES, AMERICAN MALES...
ReplyDeleteAlso an acceptable answer.
ReplyDeleteMy money for the "major announcement" is the signing of the XPW originals for a reboot of the EV2.0 angle....EV2.1
ReplyDeleteVelocity and Sparky Plugg
ReplyDeleteI don't think that was a choice...
ReplyDeleteI need to find my VHS of Piledriver: The Wrasslin' Album 2 and convert it to DVD for the videos to "Girls In Cars," "Piledriver," "Jive Soul Bro" and "Demolition."
ReplyDelete"We're Not The Mounties!!!"
ReplyDeleteImpact was horrible from what I watched last night. Even if they get a new deal it's still going to be a depressing product with an absolute dearth of talent.
ReplyDeleteGood News: Fusient Media Ventures has just agreed to purchase TNA.
ReplyDeleteLES, AMERICAN MALES, AMERICAN MALES, AMERICAN MALES, AMERICAN MALES, AMERICAN MALES, AMERICAN MALES, AMERICAN MALES, AMERICAN MALES, AMERICAN MALES, AMERICAN MALES, AMERICAN MALES, AMERICAN MALES, AMERICAN MALES, AMERICAN MALES, AMERICAN MALES, AMERICAN MALES, AMERIC
ReplyDeleteMajor announcement:
ReplyDelete"What's Robert Justins doing in the Impact Zone!!!!!"
King Curtis
ReplyDeleteKevin Sullivan
Big Bully Busnick
The RETURN of Double J - Jeff Jarrett
The RETURN of Goldilocks
The RETURN of ... Shark Boy
The RETURN of ... Abyss
The Quebecers were definitely an all time favourite team of mine.
ReplyDeleteI like everything but the name with "federation" attached. I think just Impact Wrestling works.
ReplyDeleteThat worked so good the last time.
ReplyDeleteSo, since Meltzer reported this about TNA, can we just assume he has it all wrong?
ReplyDeleteI hope TNA stays alive. I hope they stay alive, and keep getting caught re-hiring Russo over and over again. I want him at every staff meeting sitting in the back disguised with a fake moustache or a wig and dress on. And every week he's caught, Samoa Joe tosses him out by the back of his pants a la Uncle Phil.
ReplyDeleteHe needs to go the full Bobby Valentine.
ReplyDeleteWhy does TNA even bother?
ReplyDelete"I'm looking at the sheet here...who's Vanessa Russev?"
ReplyDeleteI'm all for the name change. The name TNA is ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteThat's my line!
ReplyDeleteCarter has reportedly told some of the TNA talent to expect a major
ReplyDeleteannouncement very soon and also claimed that they were in negotiations
with someone who would "shock people" and have a new signing that they
expect to bring some buzz on the product.
Reporter: Dave Meltzer, Wrestling Observer Online...is this a joke?
Dixie: [cheery] Far from it, Dave. This announcement will prove the dream of TNA Wrestling becoming highly competitive WWE is within the reach of the common man.
Reporter: Wade Keller, Pro Wrestling Torch. No really, is this a joke?
Dixie: No, Wade, and no more questions about whether this is a joke!
"Who is this Russ Vincent that just joined creative?"
ReplyDelete"I like the way Mr. Ossur thinks!
ReplyDeleteI've got tons of old WWE VHS tapes I need to convert, too.
ReplyDeleteWhat'll be really great is when some separate person named Russell Vincenzo gets preemptively pink slipped.
ReplyDeleteIn fairness, Fusient never did buy WCW.
ReplyDelete"Vic Venim...Vic Venim...why does that ring a bell?"
ReplyDeleteSo I think it's 2 possibilities.
ReplyDelete1, TNA is bringing in the head of whichever promotion that ran Bound for Glory with them, hoping that this will show possible networks they have a plan.
2, a former WWE wrestler, a reality star, or a retired athlete for buzz, hoping that this will show networks they have a plan.
The reality is, they have no plan other than to self broadcast through the internet.
At this point, TNA needs a complete overhaul. Their storylines are boring, they've wasted a ton of talent, and their promotion is so abysmal that it's like someone is promoting the show using carrier pigeon.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure what can be done to help them aside from an enema.
Only if they reintroduce the Legends title.
ReplyDeleteUnderground Jail of Imminent Death?
Damn, too late to use the dreaded Stump Puller on Calfzilla.
GWF says... no.
Uh, sure?
He's been back. And I'll let Scott Steiner tell you what shape he's in.
He's been back. But I would accept the return of Joseph Park.
"Dick Johnson? Did Vince Russo name you or something HEYWAITAMINUTE!!!!"
ReplyDeleteDon't forget the faux English accent!
ReplyDelete"Say, I've got a smashing idea for a match, bro...er...old chap! Contract on a Pole, uh, Perch! "
That doesn't bode well for poor Hugh Jazz.
ReplyDeleteMan, I think adding Federation should be key. It's a word that's so associated with the glory times for pro wrestling fans, and it's totally available. Plus it just makes them sound like a legit sports organization, a nice contrast to the company with the word "entertainment" in their title.
ReplyDeleteI remember Bischoff and Hogan really pushing for the name change, but Dixie refusing because she claimed the name had a legacy and value to it. Which is just another check in the column of "Dixie Carter is Borderline Retarded". The only value that name has is to remind them that this is indeed the wrestling show that's been awful for ten years. If this company somehow gets a reprieve, what they need to do is absolutely bury and run away from their past, not embrace it.
ReplyDelete"Ahoy there, senior booking official! I understand that you're taking suggestions from writers. Well, me and my fourth-form chums think it would be quite corking if you were to have a match involving the usage of one or more poles emanating from the turnbuckles..."
ReplyDelete"Carter, who is that fellow who keeps SWERVING in and out of the parking lot?"
ReplyDeleteThis town needs an enema!
ReplyDelete"Ru-so? Who is Ru-so? My name is Guy Incognito!"
ReplyDeleteUnless Dixie is announcing these nuts in her mouth, I couldn't possibly care less.
ReplyDeleteWe may rag on him, but the dude is right far more often than he is wrong. If he were wrong all the time, or making shit up out of thin air, the dude wouldn't still be around after, what, 30 years.
ReplyDeleteIt worked (kinda) when I was stuck on the end of NWA, but as soon as they lost the NWA part it had to change.
ReplyDeleteHow can she announce with your nuts in her mou...ohHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....
ReplyDeleteWell as a matter of fact she is !
ReplyDeleteOK TNA superfan, aside from the name change what else would you want to see the company do? Let's pretend that the go on hiatus from Nov to January. What do they need to do in time for the re-debut?
ReplyDeleteYeah they should just give up and fire everyone. Then we'll blame Obama for the increase in unemployment.
ReplyDeleteI almost wish I hadn't typed it now. Things don't sound nearly as crude in your head as they do once you see them there on the screen. I swear, I'm not a 12-year-old!
ReplyDelete"Carter! Who is that blasted fellow who keeps SWERVING in and out of the parking lot?"
ReplyDelete