The PG Era Rant for Raw, December 15,
2014: or, my eternal quest to enjoy wrestling when booking gets in
the way.
Live from Detroit Rock City.
Your hosts are the usual suspects.
Pre-Show News:
- Chris Jericho is in charge tonight.
- And as such, he will have a Highlight Reel with Rusev.
- Dolph Ziggler and Erick Rowan will face Luke Harper and Big Show.
And let's not waste any time; here
comes Y2J himself! And his chyron makes a deal out of his Slammy
win. There's a joke in here somewhere. Oh, and we show Fandango
taking the trophy for him. After the usual glad-handling to start,
he reminds us that he's in charge of the show, and he wants to make
the show all about the Jerichoholics. He thanks us for awarding him
a Slammy. He acknowledges Fandango accepting the award, but he hates
that “some hurdy-gurdy horse's ass” has his award. So he's
asking Fan-something to come out and hand it over. (Did he say
Fandildo? Among other things. Either way, the A's definitely did
not breathe.)
But ladies and gentlemen, this other
man's name is Paul Heyman. And he's a Jerichoholic, too. He's used
to being in power, but not tonight. But, wait, if you want a guest
GM for Raw, why not get someone with a track record in charge –
like Heyman? No offense, Chris. Sure, Chris accepted the offer and
didn't make it, fine, but Heyman still has an issue. How could
diving off a cage be the Extreme Moment of the Year? We all know
that if it involves “extreme” (Crowd: ECW!), it has to involve
the Godfather of Extreme himself. (Heyman imitating Jericho is kinda
funny.)
Jericho cuts off Heyman's self
promotion to call him a Walrus. Jericho says, yeah, Paul gave him a
break in ECW, but he wouldn't pay up. Jericho wants his back pay.
Heyman is nervous because he's not a fighter, and tonight he (for
once) isn't out to talk about Brock Lesnar; he's out for himself –
because he wants time to talk about Seth Rollins failing in his
chance to eliminate John Cena from the title match. He wants to talk
about Seth Rollins' failure...
...and why waste time? Here's Rollins
himself. If Heyman can't wait to see Rollins, well, here he is. He
gets in Heyman's face and asks what Heyman had to say. He gets all
up in Heyman's personal space, but Heyman backs up to avoid a fight.
(Crowd chants for Jamie Noble for some reason.) Rollins says Heyman
saw the whole thing – Cena went through a table and Rollins's hand
was raised, right? But that victory was taken from him, just like at
Survivor Series (before Sting got involved). So that's two big shows
in a row where Rollins had it until outside interference – this
time, from Roman Reigns. Everyone knows Cena can't beat Rollins
alone; he needed help because Rollins is just better. Rollins is
sick of Cena talking about his own virtues; Cena's a coward! He
knows he can't win without help, and if Cena's a real man, he'll
accept this challenge: a rematch.
No, not tonight. He went through hell
last night! He's not ready!
Well, it may not be his decision: here
comes John Cena to crowd the ring. He goes straight for a mic and
storms into the ring. “You shut your mouth, kid... the grown men
are in the ring right now.” Cena makes it clear: just because you
can talk doesn't mean you have balls. Last night, Cena won. Period.
And yet here's Rollins making excuses, which means he's not a real
man. A man doesn't whine, he simply keeps fighting. Even if he's in
over his head (looking at Heyman). We know at the Rumble it's
Cena/Lesnar one last time in a hell of a fight. But he's here for a
fight tonight, too. And Seth says he wants a rematch... which is
great, because so does Cena. But Seth's right about one thing: Cena
needs help. He can't make the match without help. Someone with
power has to do it. (Chris Jericho's facial expressions are epic.)
Like, say, Chris Jericho? Hey, welcome back!
Jericho makes it clear he does
have the power to make matches, and he makes that match. Yes, people
are beat up and so on, but too bad. Oh, and it's a cage match. Cena
walks off satisfied, but Rollins is furious and takes it out on
Jericho, calling him the worst GM ever. Yes, worse than the
Anonymous GM. But that's just because Jericho is jealous of Seth
Rollins. “You are nothing compared to me.” Jericho's forgotten
what it's like to go through hell with his rockstar lifestyle...
Jericho is so out of shape he can't beat the janitor or popcorn
salesman, or even Paul Heyman!
Jericho:
“You're right; the popcorn guy's a ninja.” But Chris does get a
terrible, awful idea: he COULD beat Paul Heyman. Rollins tries to
reverse course, since Heyman's not a wrestler, but it's a little late
for that; Jericho asks the fans for their opinion. Even Paul Heyman
thinks Jericho can beat Paul Heyman. But too late: Jericho makes the
match. And by the way, the Jericho/Heyman match is a WWE App Match.
That took 23 minutes to get to the
point. For the record, 20 minute promos were the BAD part of the
Attitude Era. And by the way: is Jericho ever getting his Slammy
back? That said, BoD Raw needs to have a “ninja popcorn guy”
gimmick.
So,
the choices are: Extreme Rules; No Holds Barred; or Street Fight.
Wait, those are CHOICES?
Luke Harper & Big Show v.
Erick Rowan & Dolph Ziggler.
Dolph and Show start. Dolph sticks and moves on Show, but gets
caught and thrown into the corner. Blind charge eats boot, and Dolph
comes back with a dropkick. Sky High DDT is caught into a flapjack.
Show saunters to Dolph and looks at him, then picks him up and slaps
him around on the chest. He then steps on Dolph. Crowd is FIERCELY
behind Dolph, but a brief flurry is cut off by a tackle. On the
outside, Dolph is sent into the barricade. They tease a countout,
but Dolph's in at 9 as we go to break.
I
mentioned this in the TLC post-game thread, but: I am officially
demanding Paul Wight's retirement. He's just so much worse than the
people he's up against – even Rowan – that it's jarring. And
this match shows it too: Dolph's essentially wrestling himself, while
Big Show hasn't moved at a speed faster than “mosey”.
Harper/Show v. Rowan/Dolph,
continued.
Harper has a chinlock on Dolph, who fights out only to get
uppercutted for two. Show in, and the inverted DDT elbowdrop gets
two. We get stills of Harper and Dolph from last night while Show
toys with Dolph, getting the Colossal Clutch. He drops Dolph and
tags Harper in, who gets a bottom-rope guillotine for two. Harper
and Dolph get mis-communication, but recover in time for a Harper
blind charge to eat post. Hot tag Rowan, who gets an avalanche on
Harper and a full nelson slam. A shot for Big Show follows, but
Harper with an uppercut and Show's in. Rowan catches him with a
spinning leg lariat, but Harper gets a superkick. Dolph tosses
Harper and follows into the announce area, leaving Show and Rowan.
KO Punch, and BIGSHOWWINSLOL at 10:00. DEATH TO PAUL WIGHT! *1/4
Everyone's headsets were taken out by Harper and Dolph for a minute
or two.
Meanwhile,
Fandango and Rosa are being seductive backstage when Jericho shows up
and asks for his Slammy. And he'll dance all over Fandango to get
it.
Lost
in all this is Erick Rowan, who is growing on me. I like the idea of
a complex character, he's a decent big man, and by limiting his lines
to one at a time, you add to his gimmick rather than detract from it.
I hope he gets a chance as a solo star instead of being Show's
jobber boy.
Fifteen
million people have the WWE App! Be one of them!
We
now look back at the Ambrose/Wyatt main event and proof that Ambrose
should consider becoming Amish. Both men will be on SmackDown Live
tomorrow night! (Hey, Tommy, I got this.)
Renee
Young is with the New Day. Tonight, they rematch with the Dust
Brothers, who seem to be about negativity. Xavier Woods says that
negativity is gone and the darkness will be exposed to the light.
Tonight, they'll mix it up and unleash the PhD. Kofi calms him down
and says the does some slam poetry about how they aren't afraid of
the dark. Big E can sense it and taste it, but SOON, they will feel
it! Feel the power! Kofi asks Big E to towel off a bit – his
sweat got on them.
Another
rematch? Why, Vince? I hope the live SmackDown is better than this.
Total
Divas ad makes me lose brain cells.
Brie & Nikki Bella v. Natalya
& Alicia Fox.
This is the Total Divas synergy portion of the show. Alicia and
Nikki start, and Nikki with a spinebuster for two. Brie in, and it's
a double back elbow for two. To the chinlock, and Nikki switches to
a diving clothesline for two. More chinlockery. Fox with a
split-legged jawbreaker to escape, hot tag Natalya. She snapmares
Nikki and gets a dropkick, then throws the Bellas together. Brie
slaps Natalya, but Natalya reverses to the Sharpshooter for the
tapout at 2:10. Tyson is looking over at Nikki before jumping into
the ring. This concludes the Total Divas synergy portion of the
show. 1/4*
As
long as this leads to Natalya being the next challenger, I'm fine.
But 2 chinlocks in 90 seconds is inexcusable, and a 2-minute tag
match is a joke.
Side
note: I'm being told that more than a few people on the Internet
believe the New Day not being the Nation of Domination is racist.
There's also people who are calling the claimants of racism racist.
My opinion: they are all being who they were to begin with, just with
matching tights.
SmackDown
Live will feature Roman Reigns' first match since his injury.
Highlight
Reel time. Jericho brags about calling the Authority's loss, then
mocks Lana's pantsuit. Here come Lana and Rusev as guests. (Jericho
was right, though; Lana was wearing a red outfit.) Lana asks to
speak first, bragging about Rusev remaining undefeated. So if
Jericho has intelligent questions – which “you're probably not
capable of” – they'll answer. Jericho riffs on Lana's outfit
before asking: why so angry? Is it the hairstyle? Lana: “Shut
up.” Jericho asks Rusev: why are YOU so angry? You need stress
relief. Maybe show Lana your Sputnik. Jericho may have hit too
close to home – he teases them for possibly being a couple with the
sittin' in the tree song. Yep, this happened. He then directly
asks: are you really a couple? Does Rusev have a crush on Lana?
Several insults later, he encourages Rusev to let his freak flag fly
– and he and Lana exchange SHU TUPs.
Rusev
finally puts an end to the fun – and to be fair, the crowd was
digging it – and says Jericho talks too much and needs a crushing.
Jericho admits he gets on people's nerves and people always want to
beat him up... but people want to beat Rusev up, too. In fact,
someone wants to do that right now!
RYBACK.
Crowd
is totally into the staredown with loud Feed Me More chants. The two
talk trash, and Rusev even smiles as he slowly backs away. He taunts
Ryback from the apron with the belt before walking away.
We
review the clusterbombery that was Cena/Rollins, with cameos by Big
Show and Roman Reigns. They're rematching tonight inside that steel
cage hanging from the rafters!
You
know, there's always a place for two bad-asses who are on a collision
course ready to beat the heck out of each other. The match won't be
aesthetically pleasing, but it sounds like it'll be hot. And really
– we all want our guys up top, and we all want the fans' wishes to
coinicide with ours, but hey, if the crowd loves an idea, run with
it.
Ascension
teaser. If it wasn't for that “we're open all night long” line,
it would be just fine as a vignette.
New Day v. Brothers Dust.
New Day's pyro fails to go off. Dean Ambrose curses that he can't
have that luck. Goldust and Woods start as Kofi goes to commentary.
Woods with a dropkick and leg sweep for one. Langston in, and the
two double-team Goldust out of the ring. Goldust stalls on the
outside. Kofi to JBL: “You live in Bermuda! Why are you
negative?” Stardust in, and he slugs away with Langston.
Crossbody attempt is caught, and Langston gets a double backbreaker
and tandem kick with Woods for two. Kofi and JBL focus on Big E's
oversweating as Woods gets a running kick for one. Crowd chants for
the announcers as Langston gets a slam, and Woods gets a tandem
wheelbarrow splash for two. Stardust fights out of the corner, but
runs into a Woods hiptoss and right hand. Goldust charges and gets
dumped, and the heels regroup as we go to break.
Way
too much stalling in the opening half of that match. No need for
that. It's why the crowd chanted for the announcers; the match was
going nowhere.
New Day/Dusts, continued.
Langston is pounding away on Stardust, getting a shoulder charge.
Goldust tags himself in and drops Langston on the top rope, then
chops the heck out of him. Goldust works the leg, then kicks
Langston in the face. The Dusts do a wishbone, then Stardust gets a
leaping stomp. Stardust with the Macho Man over-the-top hotshot, and
Goldust in with a chinlock. Langston fights out, but Goldust sends
him in the corner. Blind charge hits elbow, but Langston walks into
a spinebuster for two. Goldust drops the fist, and Stardust kicks
away. Stardust gets two as the crowd is so tired of this they chant
for CM Punk. Stardust pounds on Langston's chest and stands over him
before hooking the front chancery. Goldust drops a series of elbows
as the crowd chants for NXT. Goldust with a kneelift, and Stardust
kicks him and goes back to the front facelock. Langston shoves him
off, but Stardust comes back with a sliding kick. Langston bowls
Stardust over for a double KO. Hot tag Woods, and the crowd BOOS his
house of fire segment. They do chant New Day with him for the Honor
Roll, though. It gets two. Goldust with a powerslam for two. Woods
with an enzuigiri to send Goldust out of the ring, and Stardust is
low bridged out. Langston and Woods do an alley-oop senton over the
ropes, and back in, Woods tags himself in for the Midnight Hour to
end it (finally) at 13:32. DUD
What
in heaven's name was wrong with Dustin and Cody tonight? I've seen a
ton of their matches and I know they know how to be better than that!
That was a hot mess, and they didn't even try to get the crowd
involved – which is Dustin's strength! I hope they get chewed out
for that match. Also, Big E Langston as the face in peril when
Xavier Woods is RIGHT THERE is so backwards I can't comprehend. The
crowd turning on the match was not too surprising.
Renee
Young is with Miz and Sandow. Miz and Jimmy Uso have a match
tonight, as Miz sets the scene: The Usos used to be tag champions
until Jimmy felt inadequate and jealous. Now, Miz is the champ, and
the only way Jimmy will be a Hollywood guy is if he accompanies Naomi
– but Jimmy's getting in the way of that. Tonight, the credits
roll on Jimmy Uso.
Meanwhile,
Adam Rose promises a huge afterparty when his match is over. But
Kane is there to break the party up (Exotic Express: sarcastic yay).
Kane does not like Rose, but the Bunny tries to stop the trouble.
Rose will face Kane in that match. “Party over.”
Of
note from my friends: Jimmy Jacobs was spotted as a member of the
Express.
Also
of note: in two weeks, they're doing Raw in DC, my homeland. They're
promising Edge and Christian in charge, and Randy Orton is
advertised. Make of that what you will.
Adam Rose v. Kane.
The Express is deathly afraid of Kane. Rose fires away to start,
but a whip fails and Rose is disposed over the top. Rose runs away
outside the ring, attacking Kane as the latter returns, but Kane
shoves him off. Rose escapes a Tombstone and stops a blind charge,
getting a running lariat... that Kane no-sells, leading to a big
boot. Chokeslam try, but the Bunny hops in... and is caught. Double
chokeslam ends it at 1:28. Crowd kind of likes that. Kane gives the
Bunny a Tombstone for good measure, which gets a shockingly good pop.
JBL is giddy.
Earlier
Tonight of the opening segment.
Well,
this Bunny thing was a severe backfire. Here's the thing: Adam
Rose's ceiling and rightful spot was as an opening match
crowd-lifter. He comes out, gets the crowd dancing, does a quick
match, and leaves. There's nothing wrong with that. Teasing the
heel turn and making THE BUNNY his foil ruined all that. They're
trying to undo the damage, but it may be too late.
WWE's
Main Event will start at 7 to compensate for the live SmackDown.
Your Main Event main event is Kane v. Erick Rowan.
WWE App Match: Slammy Award
Winner Chris Jericho v. Paul Heyman.
Before the match, Heyman says he's out of tricks. He jokes about
being “the Jew in Jewjitsu”, but to be honest, this isn't funny
or entertaining. Heyman knows Jericho is a crowd-pleaser, and this
segment won't be PG. Heyman doesn't want to think about how he gave
Jericho his break and now Jericho is a podcast guy, a rock star, etc.
He doesn't want a piece of it, but he's wondering why Jericho is
still mad over a missed paycheck from 1995! Okay, it's the principle
of the thing, fine. But Heyman has the money, and he's willing to
give it if Jericho calls it off. Heyman goes to write a check (Cole:
“Oh, you know that's just gonna bounce!”), but Jericho knocks the
checkbook away and prefers the match...
Street Fight (43%).
Heyman accepts his fate, but says he doesn't understand why this
fight has to happen... WITH BROCK LESNAR!
Here
Comes The Pain. Brock circles the ring with Jericho in it like a
shark circling the prey. Crowd says the confrontation is Awesome.
Jericho takes the fight to Brock, but Brock blocks the Codebreaker
and delivers the F-5. Crowd wants Cena to come out, and Brock even
looks to the entrance to see if it happens. It doesn't, so Heyman
raises Brock's hand and the two leave. Needless to say, no match.
The
announcers talk about Cena/Lesnar and discuss the “rest vs rust”
factor that will be a part of the story, with Cole saying Lesnar has
the advantage due to rest, but JBL saying Cena is battle-hardened.
Here's
the thing: if they can do the main event this well, why can't they do
the rest that well? The only midcard story since Daniel Bryan's exit
that has had my interest is the Swagger/Rusev story, and I'm certain
Dutch Mantell wrote that. Dean Ambrose seems to be getting over in
spite of WWE's efforts.
Fandango
and Rosa are out with the Slammy. Perfect timing. Fandango says Raw
WAS Jericho...
...and
this brings out Roman Reigns! He promptly uppercuts and spears
Fandango to shut him up. He then takes the mic and milks a chant...
...but
before HE can talk, Big Show is back. Roman tells him that if Show
gets any closer he's getting hit in the mouth. Show says he'd like
to see him try. Reigns made a mistake last night by attacking Big
Show... and now Show will put Reigns back on the IR. He climbs onto
the apron... and just as promised, Reigns Superpunches Show! Show
throws stairs around in frustration. The kids in the crowd do a This
Is Awesome chant as the two jaw at each other.
Now,
that's how you do Roman Reigns right! One threat, two guys beaten
up, and he stands tall. Now, let's hope he beats Show in five
minutes to complete it, because right now, the crowd wants him to
look strong.
Moments
Ago.
The Miz v. Jimmy Uso.
Miz immediately bails as the crowd wants Mizdow. He jumps in and
races back out again. And again. This time, Jimmy gives chase and
gets a slam as Naomi looks on backstage. Jimmy chops away on Miz,
then slams him again (which Sandow mimics). Jimmy chops away on Miz
in the corner (with Sandow mimicking), then punches him in the gut.
Crowd declares Mizdow Awesome. Jimmy tackles Miz down and slugs away
as Sandow mimics, but Miz gets to the apron and Hotshots Jimmy. To
the top, but Jimmy uppercuts Miz. More chops from Jimmy, but Miz
bails out, catching a sliding Jimmy and getting a big boot. Sandow
overacts and Miz tells him to stop, then tosses Jimmy into the apron.
Inside, it gets two, and we go to the front facelock into a Muta
bridge. And yes, Sandow imitates that, too. Jimmy fights out, but
Miz with the Million Dollar Combo, which Jimmy interrupts before
getting hit with it on the second try for two. Miz with left hands
to Jimmy, but Jimmy reverses a whip only to get kicked. Jimmy fires
back into the comeback and sends Miz out over the top, then dives
onto Miz. And needless to say, Sandow imitates getting hit by a
flying Uso. Back in, flying crossbody gets two. Superkick is
caught, and Miz tries the figure-four, but Jimmy reverses to a Samoan
Drop. And Sandow now ENTERS THE RING to imitate it. Ref disposes of
Sandow, Skull Crushing Finale is escaped, Jey jabs a Slammy into
Miz's chest, and Jimmy goes up for the Superfly Splash to end it at
6:14. Reasonable match overshadowed by Sandow's antics, which is
more a compliment to Sandow than an insult to the match. *1/2
So
as it seems only the main event's left: this show is not what the WWE
needed, and it appears the crowd's catching on to the problem. From
the Jericho/Heyman match onward has been fine, though; so to mix it
up, the second hour was a nightmare rather than the third. Still, as
with all three-hour Raws, this would be a much better two-hour Raw.
I blame USA Network – reports are even Vince doesn't like doing
three hours live. But even so... dogging it is not going to help!
Backstage,
Naomi is heading over to meet Jimmy, but Miz cuts her off. He claims
Naomi was torn in that match, but hey – thing with Jimmy aside, Miz
will keep his word. He's still champ, so he'll keep helping Naomi.
Miz knows she'd rather be Divas' Champion, so tomorrow night on Main
Event, Naomi will be on MizTV. It's a big opportunity for her – no
one's ever done that for her, right? And he's doing it because he
knows Naomi deserves a Divas' Title shot. And hey, it's MizTV –
what would Jimmy object to? Oh, and one more thing: don't tell
Jimmy. Just saying.
Fun
bit as we cut to the announcers: Cole is talking to JBL about the
situation, and Lawler does Sandow's “shadow mimicry” act of Cole.
As
a reminder: both Dean Ambrose and Bray Wyatt will return for
tomorrow's live SmackDown.
Renee
Young interviews Seth Rollins... but Rollins won't let her talk,
saying that things are out of hand. Just 24 hours after a tables
match, he's supposed to be in a cage match? And with Cena, who keeps
costing him big matches? This is because there's no Authority here
and nobody is safe. Heck, not even those in power are safe – you
saw what happened to Jericho (even though he had it coming)! This
place needs someone in charge – it needs the Authority back. Seth
Rollins should not be performing... he should be in a hospital bed!
But Rollins will suck it up, finish what he started, and teach John
Cena a lesson.
MAYDAY!
MAYDAY! THE CAGE IS LOWERING!
Sorry
this report is long even by my standards, but holy hell there was a
lot of non-wrestling story stuff tossed out tonight. Way too much
talking in my opinion.
It's
Christmas Raw next week, starring Ho Ho Hogan. Don't look at me like
that; they said it.
Main event, cage match: Seth
Rollins v. John Cena.
Pins, submissions, and escape all count. Rollins immediately goes
over the top, but gets caught and brought back in for a beating.
Rollins with a back kick and he sends Cena into the cage, but Cena
blocks. Rollins with a kick to stop a backdrop as the crowd is
loudly on Cena. Rollins throws Cena into the cage for two. He
adjusts his back before punching Cena in the mouth. Cross-ring
forearm knocks Cena down, and Rollins taunts Cena. Another try, but
Cena catches Rollins and catapults him to the cage... and Rollins
climbs! Cena stops him and pulls him to the top rope, where they
fight until Cena gets a facejam off the top rope for two. Cena now
climbs, but Joey Mercury climbs on the other end while Rollins crawls
for the door. Cena sees this and dives to stop him, then tries to
head out the door. Rollins stops him and tries to get out, getting
so close as to be hanging over the floor, but Cena drags him back in
and sends him across the ring. Charge hits elbow, and Rollins gets
the Overcast for two. Rollins looks to climb, but Cena catches him.
Rollins slides down Cena and gets the bucklebomb for two as we go to
break.
All
of the above took only four minutes. If they can keep up this pace,
it'll be a great match. Not “save the show” great, but great.
Main event, continued.
Both men are down when we return. Rollins is up first, arrogant, as
the crowd is 100% behind Cena. He rallies, beginning the comeback
sequence into the Five Knuckle Shuffle, but Rollins with a kick
during the taunt. Cena with the Protobomb, and this time the Shuffle
connects. He tosses Rollins into Mercury and delivers the AA. It's
10:53, so that gets two. Cena asks to exit through the door, but
Noble holds it shut. Cena launches the door open and sends Noble
flying, but that allows Rollins time to recover and catch Cena. It's
a fight on the top rope, with Cena knocking Rollins off the top and
following with the diving legdrop for two. Cena looks to climb over
the top, but now Rollins catches him and yanks him down, climbing
instead. Cena stops him and tries a second AA, but Rollins escapes
to the cage and knocks Cena down, following into him with the flying
knee smash for two. Rollins taunts Cena some more (“This is what
you asked for! I told you to wait!”), then tosses Cena into the
cage. He keeps monologuing like a typical villain before tossing
Cena into the cage again. Crowd chants for both men, which Rollins
uses to taunt Cena some more. (“Do you hear that? That's the
sound of the future!”) A third cage visit, though, is reversed and
Rollins goes into the steel for a double KO. Cena is first to move
and asks for the door, but Mercury slams the door into his face.
Rollins gets two off of it. Mercury is (somehow) busted open from
it. Rollins is ready for the Curbstomp, but Cena intercepts him in
mid-air into the STF. Rollins drags Cena to the door. Cena breaks,
so Rollins tries to leave. Noble and Mercury look to help, and a
tug-of-war breaks out, which Cena wins to bring Rollins in. Noble
tosses in the briefcase, though, as Rollins gets an enzuigiri for
two. Noble informs Rollins of the briefcase's presence, and Seth
pounces on it. Greco-Roman briefcase shot misses, and Cena with a
lariat that twists Rollins in mid-air. Slugfest breaks out, with the
crowd still divided, and Cena tries another AA. Rollins lands on his
feet, and a shot with the case gets two. Security says it was three.
Cena's still out, and Rollins decides it's his chance to escape. He
goes to the top, with Security cheering him on and looking to help,
but Cena meets him at the top and tries to yank him back in. Rollins
dangles inches away from victory, but Cena drags Rollins in... and
it's an AA off the top rope! But Cena can't capitalize. (NOTE: we
love to rag on commentary, but Cole is doing a GREAT job right now.)
Door's open if anyone wants it.... AND HERE COMES THE PAIN! (Cole:
“Oh, hell! Not now!!”) Brock Lesnar, title in hand, has both
men down and out where he wants them. He enters the cage and German
suplexes Cena three times (with Cena ragdolling it all the way). F-5
to Cena pretty much ends Cena's chances, and Lesnar looks at Rollins,
who needs new pants. Heyman, though, calls off Lesnar and shakes
hands with Rollins... Seth Rollins is a Paul Heyman Guy! Heyman and
Lesnar leave, and Rollins just looks at a dead Cena from the middle
rope. Curbstomp is academic, and Rollins wins by walking out the
door, briefcase in hand, at 23:29 – milking it for about a minute.
What an epic finish to the show. ****
STATS:
MATCH
TIME: 56:53 over six matches
BEST
MATCH: Cena/Rollins (by a mile)
WORST
MATCH: New Day/Dust Brothers
NIGHT
MVP: Brock Lesnar
MY
RATING: Meh, 4/10. Most of the show was somewhere from forgettable
to bad, but I can't give a thumbs down when I get a huge main event
like THAT, can I?
Matt
Perri has Main Event. I'll do the live SmackDown on Tommy's behalf.
Scott Keith looks back at 1996 and answers emails. Tommy still has
NXT to post, so it's not a lost week for him. And we'll see what
other jokes we can make on the product.
Bayless, I wanna suggest a match. I think it'll move the needle. A little Survivor Series re-run, but not entirely: HartKiller, BonsaiDBSM, and Matt Perri against myself, Kaptain Kiwi, and a mystery partner. Please approve of it.
ReplyDeleteWell finally Mr Satan and The Kid get an official feud.
ReplyDeleteSeems like they should have done that finish at the ppv.
ReplyDeleteSure. It will kick off the BoD RAW Minneapolis Super Show
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'm glad I missed the first 90 minutes of the show,
ReplyDeleteLIVE! from BoD headquarters, it's the BoD We Kinda-Sorta Care Holiday Function! Proceeds from this tax-deductible fun(draiser) go to the Human Fund! Biscuit! has graciously donated one of his ring-worn jackets bought at Bobby Eaton's yard sale.
ReplyDeleteBiscuit: Seriously, my dad has an arrangement with the hospital, baby. My doctor will get you any Oxys you... oh, hello.
It's important during this holiday season to give back. Next week I'm going to be giving once again to the great people of my native Minnesota with excellent professional wrestling. It's going to be a great night; I just ask that the Biscuitcases give back to their hometown hero by purchasing Biscuit memorabilia including bumper stickers, magnets and my all-new, vinyl-only release of my theme song.
Fresh off my resounding victory at BoD Survivor Series, it's also only right that the sport give back to me with a well-deserved title shot at that punk DBSM. It's only fair. Real small-timers like Grant Hart of Husker Du are ready to party!
Agree. Instead we had some fucking idiot job when he forgot a TV was still plugged in as he tried to use it as a weapon.
ReplyDeleteDamn it.
ReplyDeleteI was hoping we were going to see Zap Shocker, evil electrician.
Didn't hear this sentiment too much in the live blog thread, but that main event was (as your star rating indicates) quite a good match.
ReplyDeleteBiscuit! is getting a "Day in the Life of" right before his big hometown match!
ReplyDeleteMr Satan and the Kid? That should have been on BoD Mania
ReplyDeleteDue to time constraints, he was cut
ReplyDeleteBoD Mania..........................................................................................................BOOK IT
ReplyDeleteI agree with the rating. Rollins was incredible
ReplyDeleteYou know, if the Kid has his own feud, might be a good time to set up my title match.
ReplyDeleteI'm shocked.
ReplyDeleteI'm very happy that the great people of Minneapolis as well as the rest of the world will learn more about such a great man.
ReplyDeleteYep, time for that title match.
ReplyDeleteIts a lights out gimmick too
ReplyDeleteYou must have read my mind
ReplyDeleteThe MVP OF THE NIGHT that I award is fully a kayfabe award, but when it comes to performance, Seth was first star tonight, with Cena second star. And Stardust is 453rd.
ReplyDeleteJoining such luminaries as Hardcore Holly and the 2010 version of Dolph Ziggler!
ReplyDeleteYeah, that tag match was one big pile of shit.
ReplyDeleteI need to get booked soon.
ReplyDeleteHe's unpredictable, though; a real livewire.
ReplyDeleteThe token Royal Rumble show challenger.
ReplyDeleteRollins was great and should have been rewarded with a win with only two other people's help
ReplyDeleteCould actually be a decent little feud as well.
ReplyDeleteSneak preview:
ReplyDelete"getting up at 5am, he starts his 1987 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme to go train at the local gym. As a treat to himself last night, he turned the heat in his house all the way up to 57 degrees. After drinking a glass of whole milk and six eggs, he starts lifting and hitting the heavybag"
Let's be fair: I'll trade a clean win for the big story advancement. Now, Paul Heyman holds all the cards and has a reason to be at every Raw. I accept it.
ReplyDeleteMY RATING: Meh, 4/10. Most of the show was somewhere from forgettable to bad, but I can't give a thumbs down when I get a huge main event like THAT, can I?
ReplyDeleteIs 4/10 not a thumbs down? If I got 40% on a test, a thumbs down would be the best response I could hope for from my teacher...
guesses for WM card? i'm thinking something like
ReplyDeleteBrock VS Reigns(Rollins cashes in)
HHH VS Sting
Cena VS Rusev
Rollins VS Ambrose
Cody Rhodes VS Goldust
Daniel Bryan VS Sheamus
ATG Battle Royal
multi tag match
can't think of anything else right now. Orton VS ???
4 is the mean score for this show, in honor of Bret Hart. Factoring in SmackDowns and PPVs, I'd say that's fair, right? I mean, getting a C would be an 8/10, but that's way too generous to an average show.
ReplyDeleteClearly you havent been in a public school for a while.
ReplyDeleteLast year, we had Batista, Bryan, Punk, and Reigns with legit shots to win the Rumble.
ReplyDeleteThis year, we have Reigns with legit shots to win the Rumble.
Also, am I misremembering, or did Rollins kick out of two AAs?
ReplyDeleteBryan will be #30
ReplyDeleteMultiple shots for one guy? He really is being pushed to the moon!
ReplyDeleteI think Rollins will cash in on raw the next night.
ReplyDeleteOrton v Rollins
Ambrose will win the battle royal
Didnt Brock run in after the Super AA
ReplyDeletehe will be like foley that one year
ReplyDeleteunless Reigns bombs, I don't think Bryan will win it.
ReplyDelete(Bill Ray is sitting at the poker table, wearing a Santa hat, and holding the bottle of whiskey.)
ReplyDelete"Well, well, well. Hello, BoD. It's been a bit. Sorry I couldn't make it to Raw in my hometown, but Bayless insisted I work the charity poker game tonight, which went off without a hitch. Anyway, I just wanted to check in and-"
(Bill is interrupted by three men in letter men's jackets.)
Bill: "Oh boy. Well, as you are not the usual goon squad, I can only assume your boss told you what comes next, hmmm?"
(The men surround him, as he stands up; he pauses to take a swig of whiskey, and then spits it in the first man's face, followed by a kick to the nuts. The second man charges and Bill sidesteps him, and then smashes the whiskey bottle on his head. The third man jumps on Bill's back with a sleeper hold; Bill escapes with a judo throw, and then superkicks him over the poker table.)
Bill: "(singing) Silent night, holy night. All is calm, all is bright....." (Bill walks out of the shot holding the Santa hat, as the camera cuts out.)
It's like wrestlemania 13; show was shit except for one match
ReplyDeletei agree there but i think him showing up makes it a little more unpredictable. more than last years anyway.
ReplyDeleteBryan v Kane
ReplyDeleteI am so totally lost by whatever you just tried to tell me xD
ReplyDeleteJust that because 4/10 became a Bret Hart meme, I use a 4 as shorthand or "average". Bear in mind, I've given scores below 0 and above 10 before. The rating's just my opinion; don't take it seriously.
ReplyDeleteYou mean do the better finish on a show that people pay for? Obviously you're not a businessman!
ReplyDeleteRyback wins the battle royal. Ziggler VS Miz VS Mizdown IC title?
ReplyDeleteUh.....I usually do the live Smackdowns Andy.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Tommy
ReplyDeleteYou do? For some reason I thought you couldn't get them. Sorry about that. DIdn't mean to jump the gun.
ReplyDeleteI had better be booked on the Cheese documentary...
ReplyDeleteWhere's Bayless to start an impromptu Writer's Division match?
ReplyDelete/ taunts Tommy with his e-check
ReplyDelete"My opinion: they are all being who they were to begin with, just with matching tights."
ReplyDeleteThey will NEVER be F.I.S.T.!!!! (Friends in Similar Tights)
A- callout
ReplyDeleteYou vs. Andy PG in a Smackdown review write off. The loser leaves the blog.
ReplyDeleteEither way, everyone else is a winner. Jay kay.
You're right. It was just the one AA kickout.
ReplyDeleteOnly if the winner leaves the blog too...
ReplyDeleteOh no you didn't!
ReplyDeleteNo worries chum. I've left your Christmas card in the writers' lounge.
ReplyDeleteThat Cena is grabbing the hell out of that brass ring!!! (Actually, sounds like a great match. Will likely catch it when it hits youtube and I hit home)
ReplyDeleteMy question -- how is this show (besides the main) people "trying to top NXT"? I swear, if McMahon gets wind of PWG or NJPW, the next episode of RAW will be him sitting in the middle of the ring, taking a dump in a bucket for 3 hours.
Somebody needs to be a locker room leader here at the BOD. I can't help but think someone is dogging their performance silenty because they aren't getting the push they want.
ReplyDeleteI basically just came here to say New Day is horrible and everyone who had any input should be slaughtered.
ReplyDeleteI think part of the problem is that the people on the main roster are handcuffed by bad booking. You could see it last night, too: Dolph and Harper did their part, but were forgotten by the end; Rusev and Swagger did their part, but only had five minutes; and Ambrose and Bray did their part, but had the weight of a shitty finish to overcome.
ReplyDeletewouldn't scott be the locker room leader?
ReplyDeleteScott's our Vince McMahon. He only shows up when shit goes down.
ReplyDeleteI know it isn't the performers' fault -- I've seen many of these guys in many matches, and know they can go when they aren't shackled. I meant the show as a whole
ReplyDeleteIt's like the performers said "let's amp this shit up!" And the writers said "we've got other plans!"
Yes, you are featured in hours 1, 2, 3, 5, 7, 8, 9, and 14
ReplyDelete** 1/2 for the main event due to someone easily walking into a STEEL CAGE MATCH. **** match prior to the finish.
ReplyDeleteBTW, Tyson Kidd was a stand out for me tonight. Dude made me crack up at the end of Nattie's match. Dude is a total shit.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I was encouraged by the positive reaction to a Rusev/Ryback showdown. I think that match could be a fun power match.
ReplyDeletemain event was just kickass.
ReplyDeleteThey're doing a Rocky Maivia "Rocky Sucks" gimmick so you're marking out for them, technically.
ReplyDeleteHey that 6 man tag with the LOD was pretty fun.
ReplyDelete*As Bayless makes his way back into his office he is met with a low blow which drops him to the floor. He gets dragged into the room and has one of his wrists handcuffed to the radiator.*
ReplyDeleteVinson: "Well, well, well, well, well, welly, welly, WELL."
*Sits in your office chair and puts my feet up on your desk.*
Bayless: "What the fu*BEEP* is this sh*BEEP*?!?!?!"
Vinson: "You know what the fu*BEEP* this is about. Did you think this was a fu*BEEP* comic book? We ain't rebooting sh*BEEP* yet. There is a receipt due here, playboy."
Bayless: " WAITAMINUTE!, We can work this out!"
Vinson: "Nah, Nah.. I don't wanna hear that Keith Sweat begging bullsh*BEEP*. Besides, you have to make HER understand, and she doesn't speak English too well."
*Bayless looks up and sees my valet approaching him with a bat.*
Vinson: "My team won at Survivor Series, so you owe her five minutes with one of your hands handcuffed..."
Bayless: "But we were supposed to WRESTLE. She can't hit me with a bat!!!"
Vinson: "Oh, she wasn't gonna JUST hit you with it."
*Bayless looks on in horror as she pulls out tub of Vaseline while I pull out egg timer and set it on the desk.*
Vinson: "And your time starts...............NOW."
*Valet closes door and locks it, Loud screams are heard soon after.*
Vinson: "Be glad she lubed it first.*
Then wouldn't that make him your Brock Lesnar?
ReplyDeleteHe's even funnier when you notice all the cats on his ring gear which shockingly has not been driven into the ground by the commentators.
ReplyDeleteMost underrated WM match ever.
ReplyDeleteSo I'm to believe that on Total Divas, Tyson Kidd is basically "every rumor about Teddy Hart ever personified"?
ReplyDeleteHey, now they're telling people to not even pay $9.99 for their PPVs. What could be wrong... with.... that...
ReplyDeleteOhhhhhhhh,
Two honest questions: has anyone ever read Andy PG's entire review (word for word) and how long did it take?
ReplyDeletePre-finish, yeah. But overall it's one of those matches we'll mostly forget by next week. We'll just remember Lesnar attacking Cena to kick off the build to their final match at the Rumble.
ReplyDeleteI do. It takes about 10 minutes.
ReplyDeleteI just did. I like it.
ReplyDeleteAre you a super speed reader?
ReplyDeleteHoly shit! I never noticed the cats. This thing is layered.
ReplyDeleteI can get through it in three minutes on average.
ReplyDeleteAndy doesn't even read them when he writes them. He's prepping for a job in WWE creative.
ReplyDeleteI heard on a podcast that a few months ago the New Day was on either Superstars or Main Event and had a match with Slater Gator, where after beating the holy hell out of Titus, they refused to pin him and wanted to pin Slater instead.
ReplyDeleteHopefully Seth Rollins as a Paul Heyman guy works a lot better than Cesaro as a Paul Heyman guy.
ReplyDeleteor ryback or curtis axel
ReplyDeleteWhat's the point of a 0-10 system if you go higher or lower than the range?
ReplyDelete"I give this show a 47!!!"
If I'm on the fence about something, I like to hear his take. He's nice enough to include the commentary in italics, though, so I mostly skip to those parts.
ReplyDeleteOf note: I've only done it once each way. The night after WM30 got an 11 because it was such a home run. The show where Daniel Bryan went Wyatt got a -3 because it was such a horrific idea.
ReplyDeleteIf that TV is there for the Undertaker, per my understanding, how long as that fucking thing been plugged in unused? A year and a half? Two years?
ReplyDeleteDidn't see it, but the finish sounds like it was cool on paper.
ReplyDeleteHere's a question I had though: numerous times Rollins could have won by walking out, but he'd go for the pin instead. That's fine--he wanted to *beat* Cena, not just win the match. So why then did he just walk out after Lesnar killed Cena dead? He could have covered for an easy pin. Was he afraid the referee's hand slapping the mat would revive Cena? He stole the pin in the Cell match after Wyatt took out Ambrose. Why not this time? He chose the easier win, but the one that earned him less heat.
ReplyDeleteI'm closer to ***1/2 myself. Maybe ***3/4. But really no matter how Rollins won it was all a backdrop to the Lesnar angle.
I really hope somebody passes Axel in the hall in a backstage vignette and says "You still work here?" A la Shelton in 2010.
ReplyDeleteThe Lesnar part of the finish, or Seth walking out the cage? Cuz the Lesnar stuff was good.
ReplyDeleteI'll have to go watch cena vs Rollins asap.
ReplyDeleteYeah the Lesnar stuff. And I'm fine with Rollins winning away, or at least don't care anymore I should say.
ReplyDeleteWhy in THE FUCK did Brock have to come back to F5 Jericho? If he came back as a shock in the main event only, I would give that match a ****. Since he blew his load by beating up a 45 year old I'm only going to give it a ***
ReplyDeleteBecause they had a cute idea with the Heyman bait-and-switch. I might have been mildly surprised if Meltzer hadn't been noting for weeks that Brock was going to be back tonight.
ReplyDeleteA couple of thoughts from tonight, while I pretend to procrastinate on finishing my Accounting homework for the evening: to be considered the crown jewel of the WWE's depleted managerial corps, Paul Heyman only has a 40% success rate with 'Paul Heyman Guys'. Punk and Lesnar both accomplished much, but Cesaro, Ryback and Curtis Axel were all somewhere between dismal failure and lost causes. If I'm Seth Rollins, I'm lining up a pipe bomb for insurance if he becomes a part of the Heyman Hustle.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, poor Dean Ambrose has reached the point of no return I think. Before last night, he was the victim of poor booking and listless direction, but he still had enough residual support to sustain something serious should the WWE have wanted to go that way. Reading the Ambrose jokes today, it's become obvious that the guy is now just a punchline, and has almost no chance of ever really being taken seriously again. It's an absolute fucking shame, but I guess at least Roman Reigns wont have any serious competition to challenge his new Alpha-Face status, sans Cena.
It's ok. I'm still trying out at the Performance Center
ReplyDeleteWell it was all good overall, worth watching anyways.
ReplyDeleteAnd MNF was at halftime
ReplyDeleteNext week, Hoss is inexplicably Biff's 'Lil Red Rooster' Why? Because fuck yes, that's why!
ReplyDeleteHey, did Dean do something dumb again? I asked in the other thread, but I don't know where motherfuckers are hanging out now.
ReplyDeleteHe and Bray Wyatt had the night off.
ReplyDelete(We are at the local mall, where the children meet Santa. Pan up to see Santa Claus tied to his chair and gagged with a string of Christmas lights, surrounded by the Riverdale Covenant. Archie speaks.)
ReplyDelete"Hello, my friends at the BOD! Next week, it's a Riverdale Christmas.
I have so many gifts to give.
Especially to you, Bill Ray.
As for what I hope to receive, well, I'm just a simple soul. All I want is to bring Uncle Caliber home something special."
(He holds up a toy replica of the BOD heavyweight championship belt.)
"Probably not this year, but make no mistake... "
(Archie RIPS the toy belt in half.)
"....I'm coming.
For Uncle Caliber.
Now then, St Nick....."
(Archie produces Jughead, and Santa's eyes go wide. Archie grins.)
"....Welcome to Hell. Welcome....to Riverdale."
(Smash to black)
With your new name............................Tomas Guerra Jr.
ReplyDeleteHe's a punchline here but we're a small and creative cross-section of Internet fandom. The jokes were made because the structure is hilarious. Ambrose will be fine.
ReplyDeleteMain event sounds fun, I'll check that out. Otherwise holy crap everything else sounds pretty unwatchable. This roster is the pits.
ReplyDeleteSo Ambrose didn't job to any ghosts or equipment or old ladies or anything tonight? Did he get locked in his car or something?
Okay, I've been MIA for a while. I fucking loved every part of that C-List entourage segment.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm proud to help out the We Kinda-Sorta Care charity...somewhat. My works with the Human Fund should be noted as well.
I hope so; I'm not as high on him as I was in October when he was starting to gain traction, because Creative pretty much obliterated anything that made him special. To be fair, they did that to almost everyone not named John Cena, so it's not endemic to Ambrose specifically, like they went out of their way to bury the guy.
ReplyDeletePathetic. The fact that any of us give a shit says we all have mental problems and should be evaluated. AndyPG is a shit head. He shouldn't write for the site. Pathetic.
ReplyDeleteUnless I missed it, Ambrose didn't even show up. Apparently he jobbed to the car.
ReplyDeleteI mean, he'll be fine the way Santino and Hornswaggle are fine.
ReplyDeleteWhat did I say about going full Reddit?
ReplyDeleteGotta sell that TV exploding in your face.
ReplyDeleteShots fired! Shots fired!
ReplyDeleteYou. Suck.
ReplyDeleteNice! This might be Ambrose's best Raw performance since he came back from the movie shoot. Guess he's getting a push after all!
ReplyDeleteHe'll have a good showing in the Rumble. Probably a decent feud for WM. He won't be anywhere near the title but he will be in the upper midcard somewhere.
ReplyDeleteTommy Hall vs. Andy PG, loser leaves town, now with Danimal Crossing as the guest special referee!
ReplyDeleteNext week is the big Minneapolis BoD RAW supershow
ReplyDeleteSee, this is what I mean. Hilarious and creative!
ReplyDeleteThis Ambrose business is funny to joke about but a few people are waaaay overreacting to his standing with the company. I can only imagine their reaction when Mankind pulled out a sock from his undies.
ReplyDeleteNo. They had Kofi grab his dick and rap.
ReplyDeleteWow, a little ragey.
ReplyDeleteShit, this company man. You have such star potential in guys like Ambrose, Wyatt, Rollins and Ziggler and they just tiptoe on eggshells with everybody because they just are so worried about guys becoming bigger than the logo.
ReplyDeleteI have to admit, when you originally were ranting about "clumsy Dean" several weeks back I thought you were overreacting, but they really have turned him into a bit of a clown.
ReplyDeleteYou forgot to call him a cocksucker!
ReplyDeleteDOUBLE DQ. FUCK EM BOTH!
ReplyDeleteOr those trolls last night that called everyone "faget"
ReplyDeleteEveryone knows that the product is ice cold, like Antarctic-level cold right now; we debate this ad nauseum. You why it's so infuriating, beyond the expected 'we want to see good wrestling!' response? Their creative funk is in no way indicative of the talent that they have on the roster. With John Cena, Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose, Cesaro, Dolph Ziggler, Luke Harper, Mizdow, the Rhodes Brothers, the Usos, Kofi Kingston, Big E, Rusev, Swagger, Tyson Kidd, AJ Lee, Natalya, Paige, plus a wealth of talent in NXT that's ready to come up like the Ascension and Adrian Neville, there's no reason why the product should be this fucking bad. Two monkeys fucking a football could shit out a better show each week than the brainless, dickless turds writing Raw produce weekly.
ReplyDeleteI still think they should have him and Rollins one last time at Mania, unless Orton/Rollins is in the cards. Part of me still thinks that Orton will involve himself in the Cena/Lesnar title match, costing Brock the belt to set up Orton/Lesnar at Mania.
ReplyDeleteWere they WWE apologist? Usually, hardcore WWE fans have sub-par vocabulary.
ReplyDeleteA bit? He had a fucking plugged in TV explode in his face!!!
ReplyDeleteWOW. Nothing brings the posters of this blog together quite like a goofball blowing himself up with a fucking TV set. Thank you Dean!
ReplyDeleteI don't know. The Anchor Cheese documentary might still be going on. If I got up and decided to quit my job tomorrow, I would totally write up a script or review of it. It'd be write up my alley. I'm an expert at stupid-cute-funny comedy.
ReplyDeleteThat's all that I ask for, really. There seems to be this implicit rule that if so-and-so isn't wrestling for the World Title, he's getting buried. Wrestling needs tiers of stars; Ambrose could wrestle in the opening match for all I care, or Kofi Kingston, or Cesaro. All that I ask is that what they do matters, whether it's in the main event or in the undercard.
ReplyDeleteI'm no speed reader and it's around 10 min for me too.
ReplyDeleteIF Big Show jobs to Roman at Royal Rumble and officially retires I'm willing to accept him being on the show. If not he can just fuck right off.
ReplyDeleteRacist
ReplyDeleteThey were trolls from some other site...just copied and pasted the same bullshit repeatedly.
ReplyDeleteShould've gone to Radio Shack, then that wouldn't have happened.
ReplyDeleteI know, Weird Al told me so. Weird Al would never lie to me.
TVS DONT EXPLODE! FUCK! IM STILL PISSED OFF ABOUT IT!!!
ReplyDeleteFace turn for Rose? I thought that was a face turn for Kane.
ReplyDeleteHe's well past his Turn-By date.
TVS DONT EXPLODE LIKE THAT!!!
ReplyDeleteThis is precisely why I hope they give Ziggler a meaningful reign with the IC belt. It sets a structure for the midcard and the longer he has the belt, the more people will care about it.
ReplyDeleteAccording to some guy on Reddit who apparently works for the company, lots of the talent want HHH running the company (or at least the on-air product) instead of Vince, and purposely mailed it in their performances on TLC. Wonder if that'll get them anywhere.
ReplyDeleteSomeone else said this earlier, but his shtick should be burying shitty gimmicks that no one likes.
ReplyDeleteChill out man, and just enjoy Dino the Menace's goofball antics and/or shenanigans.
ReplyDeleteI fully expect Dean to have his identity stolen in a Nigerian Prince scam next week on Raw.
ReplyDeleteHahahahahahahaha. No.
ReplyDeleteIt'll get them future endeavored
ReplyDeleteI feel bad because Show has always been so willing to show ass to get new guys over. It's like he is the one guy who was constantly fucked with coming up that wants to make it easier for new generations. But he just can't do it anymore. It's time for him to go.
ReplyDeleteSo he basically chokeslams the entire roster off the stage and then blows himself up?
ReplyDeleteLike he did to CM Punk and Daniel Bryan!
ReplyDeleteThere is no reason why Ziggler can't fulfill the Sami Zayn role in the midcard on the main roster right now: incredibly athletic face who overcame adversity to claim something that means the world to him (in this case, the Intercontinental Title), and now have to walk through Hell in order to keep it. It keeps Ziggler relevant and builds him up as a rising face, and it makes the Intercontinental Championship mean something. In the last five years, it's almost been like people forgot they were even wrestling for a damn title.
ReplyDeleteThe words no one likes...lol
ReplyDeleteWhen did that happen?
ReplyDeleteCody had a good run with it. But that's it.
ReplyDeleteNo. He blows himself up, THEN chokeslams the entire roster off the stage.
ReplyDeleteI'd touched on that in the daily thread: I don't inherently like the idea of wrestlers mailing it in, because they're catching the fans in the crossfire with management. But it would certainly explain in part why TLC(S) sucked so much cock.
ReplyDeleteI very nearly pissed myself laughing so hard. +1
ReplyDeleteI think right after WM26 right before he got released. I want to say it was The Miz, but I'm not sure.
ReplyDeleteWhoever it was that suggested Adam Rose's posse attach itself to Kane in the Raw thread was a fucking genius. How the monkeys in Creative couldn't figure that out astounds me.
ReplyDeleteI agree 100% he should've been booked like Khali was way back in 99/2000. But that was many years ago its time to hang it up. That said he seems like a pretty articulate guy and I think would be a great addition to commentary somewhere.
ReplyDeletePshaw. He stil has years before he starts limping around like Andre
ReplyDeleteAnchor Chesse Doc is riveting. Its the finest processed cheese made in New Zealand
ReplyDeletehttp://waytofamous.com/images/tony-garea-07.jpg
Dean Ambrose is so dumb, someone told him drinks are on the house and went to Home Depot to buy a ladder.
ReplyDeleteI think it's dumb too. What'd be nice (or interesting anyway) would be if Vince had some sort of illness for a while, and HHH ran the shows for a month. Would give us a taste of what the future will be like.
ReplyDeleteThen again, I doubt Vince would stay away unless he was comatose.
Ambrose almost definitely is in that battle royal at Mania. No way that goofy comedy guy gets a singles match. Against who?
ReplyDeleteRoman/Lesnar, Cena/Rusev, Sting/HHH, Rollins/Orton, Divas match, tag match, battle royal,maybe Bray/Taker and if not I'd bet its Bray vs Ziggler or Harper or TBD. Not gonna go back to this awful Bray/Ambrose feud for Mania.
Where would Ambrose fit in?
Vince will never admit to being sick. He thinks sneezing is a moral failure.
ReplyDeleteI don't get the deal with people constantly [/italics] ragging on the length of these. Just skip the bits you don't wanna read? Nobody is holding a gun to your head, expecting every sentence read and a literacy test at the end. Since I don't bother watching any WWE these days, they're actually great recaps and I get em done in about a casual 10mins.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't be opposed to seeing him get a Hall of Fame nod and a proper send off this year, but he and Kane are just becoming a drag on anything they're associated with. It's mind-numbing crap on a weekly basis.
ReplyDeleteAnd he's right.
ReplyDeleteThen when he climbed the ladder, his foot got stuck in the gutter, he trips and falls off and hits the ground.
ReplyDeleteBray shows up, Sister Abigail...1, 2, 3.
COCK SUCKNAR! #amirite #howboutit
ReplyDeleteOh its definitely gonna be Orton/Rollins at Mania, not Ambrose/Rollins. Rollins won that feud and its dead and buried and cold as ice.
ReplyDeleteThat shows you how mind-numbing the show has been the last few years, when I barely even remember that run. It's thanks to Cody that the classic IC title even came back.
ReplyDeleteIf they really want to keep Show around, pair him up with a smaller heel a la JeriShow or Showmiz. I can't think of a use for Kane.
ReplyDeleteAnd now I'm imagining the Raw a few weeks out, when the Nigerian Prince reveals his identity... and Sister Abigail... 1,2,3
ReplyDeleteThe plans always change (except WM29). There's plenty of time for a shuffle or two. They were setting up Nexus vs Taker at this point one year and that didn't happen.
ReplyDeleteMy comment? No. Their booking? Yes.
ReplyDeleteProbably a good heel character for one of the New Day guys to play once they scrap the faction. Kofi can go from Jamaican to Ghanaian to Nigerian.
ReplyDelete"He's well past his Turn-By hour."
ReplyDeleteFTFY
The roster is the strongest on the continent.
ReplyDeleteThere is no reason they shouldn't be able to put out compelling tv with the wrestling talent they have.
And yet...they can't.
Well it WAS on Smackdown so I don't blame you.
ReplyDeleteKane could be a comedy guy; his best work in the last decade was playing the straight man to Daniel Bryan.
ReplyDeleteKane is ok in his stooge role. For some reason he still competes in matches. I'd be fine with Show and Kane as bodyguard types who just come in interfere and do a few power spots and get out.
ReplyDeleteSure anything can happen, but Ambrose isn't Daniel Bryan. Fans aren't gonna hijack shows for him, not even close. Christ, the crowd for his TLC match was pretty dead BEFORE that awful ending even happened.
ReplyDeleteSo yes plans can change, but Ambrose is wayyyyyy down the depth chart in terms of baby faces getting a singles match/feud for Mania. His best case is having a feud with Sheamus or Harper or some mid carder heading into the Andre battle royal.
I cannot WAIT for my match. Loudmouth midcard heels do great in these scenarios.
ReplyDelete$95 an hour! Seriously I don't know why more people haven't tried this, I work two shifts, 2 hours in the day and 2 in the evening…And what's awesome is I'm working from home so I get more time with my kids. Heres where I went, ,,,..,,
ReplyDelete▬▬▬www.reviews-247.com