Our final addition to the 1997 timeline is ECW; the “Big 3” that was
never really Big. ECW is likely the biggest “Indy” promotion of all time,
garnering a cult following in the mid-90’s with its irregular seedy
programming. ECW Hardcore TV aired whenever the hell the stations could slot it
in, regularly changing days, but you could be damn sure it was in the middle of
the night.
With the punch-drunk WWF, and the arrogant WCW as its main competitors,
ECW literally took a niche that didn’t previously exist, and exploited the hell
out of it. Owner Paul Heyman was more in touch with the ripped jeans headbanger
grunge rebellious youth of the mid 90’s than Eric Bischoff or Vince McMahon
could hope to be; no matter HOW many focus groups they held. Paul could smartly
take underutilized talent from the big stage, or unknown talent from the indy
world, and give them a pulse. In-ring ability was second to connecting with the
Kool-Aid drinking, rowdy Philadelphia locals, and as long as you had the right
attitude, you were set for life.
On the cusp of entering pay-per-view in late 1996, Heyman showed the
kind of bad judgment that would have had him castrated in the social media era;
by allowing a 16-year old kid to wrestle without conducting any background
checks, and watching New Jack nearly murder him (legitimately) in front of the
blood thirsty locals. His initial PPV offering was cancelled, and ECW seemed to
be back to square one.
Of course, Paul Heyman wouldn’t lie down like that. Doing the socially
responsible thing and owning your actions wasn’t necessary without an outraged
community hounding you with torches and pitchforks, so Heyman managed to smooth
talk the distributers into getting “Barely Legal” put back on the schedule to
air in April of 1997.
Now with his first chance at real, moneymaking, national exposure just
months away, I’m adding ECW to the rotation of shows I recap, so we can watch
the highs and lows of all 3 companies working through the last pro-wrestling
gold rush together.
JOEY STYLES welcomes us to
the ECW Arena; and we have a changing of the guard. The Eliminators captured
the tag-team titles at a live event this week, ending the 4 month reign of the
Gangstas. Yes, even after an unjustified homicide attempt, it would take
another month to get the title off New Jack. THIS is ECW.
New tag-team champions THE
ELIMINATORS brag about their path of destruction. They’ve defeated, in no
particular order, the Bruise Brothers, Cactus Jack and Mikey Whipwreck, the
Pitbulls, 911 and Rey Mysterio Jr., The Samoan Gangster Party, Rob Van Dam and
Sabu, Dr. Death and Terry Gordy, and now the Gangstas. They’ve been out of
their element for months, chasing them in street fights where they’re major
underdogs, but Total Elimination is the great equalizer. Same strategy as DDP,
focus on the explosive finisher, and push the hell out of them. Not rocket
science.
ROB VAN DAM vs. CHRIS
CANDIDO
This is from an ECW fan-cam in Allentown, PA. It’s absolutely unbearable
footage. Taken on a grainy VHS camcorder by a shaky front row presence, the
fact this is on TV is embarrassing. Van Dam nails a jumping spin kick, and then
does a super convoluted process including a springboard to take us to an
eventual hiptoss. Springboard crossbody gets 2. Candido charges his opponent,
but gets backdropped to the floor. Chris slowly gets to his feet, missing Van
Dam’s somersault plancha.
We zip ahead to a series of pinfall reversals, before Candido just
flattens Rob with a nasty short arm clothesline. Chris starts to stalk Van Dam
around the ring, but misses a corner charge and eats a springboard jump kick to
the chops. Rolling Thunder gut punch sets up a front suplex for 2. A scoop slam
sets up Van Dam’s ultra-fast top rope guillotine, scoring 2.
Another flash forward has Candido back in control, with Van Dam perched
on the top rope. He fights off a powerbomb attempt with a backdrop, and hits a
big crossbody – but Candido rolls through for 2! A bunch of standing switches
are won by Van Dam, and Candido is laid out crotch first on the top rope. A
springboard back elbow knocks Chris off, and gets 2. Van Dam attempts to do
more, but is backdropped over the top rope where he hits the guardrail. A
frustrated Van Dam grabs a giant wooden chair, tosses it to Candido and tries
the Van Daminator. Candido ducks and throws the chair in Van Dam’s face. He
goes for another, but the Van Daminator is waiting for Candido, knocking both
he and the referee who was a little too close, out. And, a knocked out referee
is all SHANE DOUGLAS needs to hit
the ringside area and wrap a chain around his Triple Threat buddy’s arm. He
punches Van Dam in the face, as LOUIE
SPICOLLI enters the frey in a referee’s shirt. Spicolli takes the place of
the downed referee, so when Candido goes to try and wake him up, he’s given a
big surprise to see his current nemesis lying there. A Death Valley Driver is
delivered, and Van Dam dives on top as the referee recovers for the win at 8:02 (at least of what aired).
Recently, a camera caught up to TAZ
as he left the ECW Arena. He’s pissy because Rob Van Dam needed to bring a
chair into their match, when all the weapons he needs are his fists. However,
he’s not a complainer, because he knew he’d one day choke him out. And now,
he’s going to teach him something else … disrespect.
JOEL GERTNER claims he was
recently hand-picked by Bryant Gumble to replace him on “Today”, but he chose
to stay back in ECW. Also, he’s allegedly pantless and fully erect. Like,
that’s literally it. Glad he’s here.
JOEY STYLES announces that
some 20 years after losing the NWA World Title, Terry Funk will return to ECW
to … face Brian Lee? I’m not drawing the connection, but we’ll roll with it.
Would you like Brian Pillman’s new t-shirt that will allegedly get them
thrown off TV if they air it because it’s so controversial? Well you can have
it, sight unseen, for only $20! I don’t hate the marketing, even if the only
thing that’s controversial here is the fact that they’re making money off a WWF
guy instead of their own talent, but bottom line is bottom line yo.
TV champ SHANE DOUGLAS and FRANCINE gloat about their killer 1996
run. Of course, I imagine the number of men that Douglas put down pales in
comparison to Francine; so really she’s probably deserving of the promo time.
He tells Tommy Dreamer he isn’t allowed the belt, because it’s all his – just
like Francine and her 2 inch vertical gumline.
MIKEY WHIPWRECK vs. RAVEN
(with Lori Fullington) (for the ECW world heavyweight title)
Mikey Whipwreck is of course the former job guy, who went on an
unprecedented run of success without so much as knowing how to perform any
moves. As one might expect, Mikey managed to grow into role, and learned a few
things along the way. With an offensive repertoire now at his disposal … his
days as a champion were over. Go figure. These days he’s kicking around in the
loser gimmick, and somehow inspiring clones in his likeness over in WCW (wassup
Jimmy Graffiti!). Raven works a headlock, but releases it to take issue with
the fans paying more attention to his lackeys (THE BWO, who are looking on from Raven’s Nest) than him.
Cutting ahead, Raven nails the Evenflow DDT, which somehow injures
Mikey’s knee, and Raven retains at 1:29
of what aired. Lori throws in a couple of extra shots after the match, as THE SANDMAN rushes the ring. Raven DDTs
him quickly, and hands the Singapore Cane to Sandman’s ex-wife. Lori happily
belts the Sandman in the eye. Mikey tries to save, allowing Sandman back to his
feet … where he takes another Evenflow. Raven breaks the cane in half, and
poses for the fans, missing the fact Sandman’s on his feet again. Raven takes a
DDT, and Sandman leaves with the World Championship belt as ECW heads off the
air.
I didn’t promise it was the most intelligently written show on the
planet; but it’s got plenty of violence, and for the hungry fans who’d never
seen anything like it before, it wound up being the perfect storm of Right
Place, Right Time. They never really had a legitimate chance at taking over one
of the big 2, due to the graphic nature of their shows, but as long as they’re
able to accept their niche role as the Alternative, they’ll be alright.
We’ll be seeing lots of them throughout this year.
Almost to Mean Gene levels of lechery there.
ReplyDeleteMuraco lost to Jannetty?!?!?!?! I thought this blog was filled with smart wrestling fans
ReplyDeleteHow many more decades do we have to hear the "I'm gonna kick your ass!" line? Even Mick Foley mocked it in a promo a few years ago. I'm just tired of hearing it all the time.
ReplyDeleteThe other is the Great One.
ReplyDeleteI've never actually seen footage of that. Did they shoot any or just mention it at WM9?
ReplyDeleteHere's the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrKgugAeHPI
ReplyDeleteThere was some footage on the WM9 PPV broadcast of Luger attacking him at the Mania breakfast event. Not sure if it's on the DVD or network version as I never rewatch that show.
ReplyDeleteBecause this worked so well for Sheamus!!!
ReplyDeleteShenanigans have been afoot since the beginning of this tournament. WAY more than there was during the Tag tournament.
ReplyDeleteHow are you so good at this?
ReplyDeleteI'm surprise there hasn't been any DQ victories like the Hart Foundation victory when Scott sensed shadiness.
ReplyDeleteNaw, it's not on the live broadcast. I had a tape of that. They just talked about Bret being knocked out by Lex at the WM brunch.
ReplyDeleteYou can tell Sid loves every bit of that too.
ReplyDeleteI actually thought the Eliminators were awesome based on all the hype. They weren't.
ReplyDeleteHOLY DOUBLE NEGATIVE BATMAN!!!!
ReplyDeleteI didn't think it was possible to overact a wink but he absolutely POPEYES it.
ReplyDeleteSID was a natural at being the rebellious redneck babyface who wore an open black leather jacket. If he could cut a promo (he's often called a good talker... I... do not understand this, and I love the guy like he's my Father), he would/could have been Stone Cold Steve Austin before Austin was. I'm entirely serious.
ReplyDeleteThe whole Mountie thing didn't prove otherwise? You been paying attention, pal?
ReplyDeleteYou could take one of Lance's feet off with Beefcake's shears, and cauterize it with a kitchen torch, and he could still put in a better match than Honkytonk. Vote Calgary...
ReplyDelete...Alberta, Canada.
To state the obvious, if they're such a valuable part of the Discovery family then why aren't on the Discovery Channel?
ReplyDeleteAnd if TNA is such a huge priority for Destination America, then why isn't Impact available on Hulu or Cable On Demand like the majority of Destination America's programming?
And nothing screams brand awareness like Destination America telling Bryan and Vinny to go to the local library to find out if Impact will ever be available on those platforms, I don't think that even WCW ever came up with a response that pathetic, I'm surprised Destination America didn't tell them to check all the newspapers while they're at it.
"One, Poochie needs to be louder, angrier, and have access to a time machine. Two, whenever Poochie's not on screen, all the other characters should be asking "Where's Poochie"? Three--"
ReplyDeleteThere was footage of him blindsiding Bret with the bionic forearm at a WM press conference. I think they showed it on the Mania broadcast or leading up to it.
ReplyDeleteI say most of the blog are wise beyond their years.
ReplyDeleteYep, Bryan Alvarez confirmed that it actually costs more than the WWE Network on most cable systems. I don't blame Bryan for basically saying "fuck that", at least when Impact was on Fox Sports Net, the local FSN station was part of the basic package on all cable systems.
ReplyDeleteThat's a crazy matchup. Both had classic reigns but I'd have to go with Warrior.
ReplyDeleteHoly crap this dude is terrible
ReplyDeleteKnow what you mean. Pretty tired of duplexes and Irish whips myself. For exactly the same reason.
ReplyDeleteReigns winking at the camera reminded me of the time that Raven looked at the camera and said "What a mark!" You know...the moment his entire character jumped the shark.
ReplyDelete"Yeah I know, that was not easy to say.."
ReplyDeleteWell, at least he understands the stupidity in it.
You have far too much free time
ReplyDeleteI don't understand why they don't run a Reigns/Bryan/Brock triple threat at Mania. It's a win/win for both the fans and Vince/HHH as both get to see their guys in the ME. Plus, have we forgotten the last time Brock wrestled a "final match"? At least with Bryan there, he keeps it respectable.
ReplyDeleteThen burn the remains.
ReplyDeleteI love "The Big 3's 1997!" Just don't burn yourself out, brother.
ReplyDeleteAll three promotions? Goodness. You're going to burn yourself out. That's a LOT of wrestling, my man.
ReplyDeleteAnd then the crowd has to crap on him.
ReplyDeleteCaller says that wrestling has been recyclibg the same stories for too long. No, caller, you've just been watching for too long.
ReplyDeleteThere are really only 7 different plots and 5 different conflicts available in storytelling. You analyze it too much beyond that and you find that even Tolstoy was "recycling" and "ripping off" stories.
Marty and Mountie are going to work together to eliminate everyone in the tournament and then when it comes down to Marty and Mountie as the final 2 men, they're both going to shake hands then when Mountie turns his back, Marty will sneak up and roll him up for the 1-2-3 and he's going to rock and roll all night long!
ReplyDeleteReigns is crazy!
ReplyDeleteJoin the team!
ReplyDeleteYes, you most certainly are.
ReplyDeleteNo, wrestling is recycling shit for too damn long.
ReplyDeleteThose 7 plots are a lot more vague than good guy vs evil corporate authority which half heartedly stacks the odds breaking any chance at realistic progression of events with their very existence
Assuming impact exists in 3 years
ReplyDeleteI'm saying it right now. There's no way Vince has the balls to let this jabroni win the Rumble.
ReplyDeleteIt would be a worse decision than Batista last year.
Shawn Michaels was always the Marty Janetty of The Rockers.
ReplyDeleteI hate super kicks now. Overdone
ReplyDeleteNo they showed footage on the ppv of the breakfast. It was like 10 seconds, to give bret an out
ReplyDeleteHis new shirt looks like something Marvel should be getting royalties off of.
ReplyDeleteHis acting coach needs to be fired. But seriously, the guys only 30. Give him russev at WM. Give him time for his acting lessons to pay off. Or turn him heel, and by this time next year give him the slow Batista face build. Why rush? Theres no panic, Cena will still be here. (It helps if you think like they do)
ReplyDeleteWe need a new ECW style promotion. I'm not saying to copy the booking, I'm saying of having touch with the audience. Something, something that's is not soap opera writing.
ReplyDeleteThis type of stuff could lead to resentment with the boys. Vince talks about reaching for the brass ring but what he means is to grab it once he hands it to you. Guys could be not wanting to sell for Reigns or kind of phoning it in.
ReplyDeleteShit, Orton nearly turned himself face at SummerSlam.
If the boys get upset, Reigns just needs to wink at them to melt their cool icy hearts.
ReplyDeleteThe brass ring is a diaphragm.
ReplyDeleteI think it already has for over a year now.
ReplyDeleteMaybe melt their icy hearts with a cool tropical song?
ReplyDeleteIn all fairness, Roman does bear a striking resemblance to Sylvester.
ReplyDeleteTotal Elimination is cool, but that's about it. Saturn was a pretty solid worker.
ReplyDeleteWent with Rude over Big E, but it would be fun to see Rude bump around for him in a Warrior vs Rude-style match.
ReplyDeleteThe Elims were the textbook definition of a one-man team. Saturn was the Eliminators, discussion closed.
ReplyDelete"By Mennan"
ReplyDeleteThis promo officially sold me on Reigns NOT winning the rumble
ReplyDeleteGentleman, save your trash to throw it when Roman point at the WM sign.
ReplyDeleteHe's gonna win, he's anointed as the new Cena.
ReplyDeleteMy thinking as well. Delivery seemed fine, but the words make him sound like a complete doofus. They kill any and all intimidation. It's like when people on Saved by the Bell tried to sound tough.
ReplyDeleteBut that was the only believable line in his entire promo and really should be the only thing he even said. They should keep it simple with Reigns--the problem is when they're trying to get cute or "creative."
ReplyDeleteHard to figure out what facial expressions *would* work with that shitastic dialogue.
ReplyDeleteSid had that Hogan/Warrior-esque charisma where he would say the weirdest shit but it just worked anyway.
ReplyDeleteYou know the WWE spinner belt?Have you seen those cheeseburger crust pizzas that Pizza Hut do?
ReplyDeleteMy girl thinks the WWE screwed up by having that one big spinner in the middle. If that had stayed still, but there were mini WWE logos around it (the cheeseburger crust, if you will), that span, all around it, she thinks that would have been 'really cool'.
Just wanted to share with you the kind of arguments I find myself in on a Sunday night.
Another TJ: For those that enjoyed Russo's video where he played EWR, there's another video where he plays TEW2013 playing the WCW 2000 scenario http://youtu.be/kvv1hhI7d9s
ReplyDeleteIt's less entertaining than the EWR video as Russo plays it more serious and there's some Russoisms in there which shows his thought process (forcing injured guys to wrestle, showing big matches with zero hype and buildup etc).
Great, great. Just leave them right there on the floor on your way out.
ReplyDeleteStill sounds more realistic than in WCW where the words "butt" or "keister" substituted "ass."
ReplyDeleteSid was originally named after a character from Mad Max 2, and his promos just consisted of him quoting from Mad Max 3, and corpsing.
ReplyDeleteNobody has ever made such an amazing career out of only owning two VHS tapes.
He mostly buries TNA, WCW and WWE, but there's brief bit where he compliments what Lucha Underground is doing, which was pretty cool.
ReplyDeleteIn Philly we got Hardcore TV on Tuesdays at 6pm. Replay at 11pm. And another replay on Fridays at midnight. Awesome timeslots, actually.
ReplyDeleteYou're DEAD to me, can-opener!!!!!!!
ReplyDelete1. It's a pretaped show
ReplyDelete2. Yeah right
3. It's a pretaped show
Kofi is a forgettable muti-time IC champ. Kerry was just a terrible failure as IC champ with awful matches. I assume Kerry unjustly wins because of his name.
ReplyDeleteRock was the best of the 4, IMO. "Best damn Intercontinental Champion... there ever was."
ReplyDeleteAhmed sucked and Shelton had good matches and was over in 2004.
ReplyDelete9) Peggy sue beside him. 10) Colonel in the back.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love that match. That's my underrated pick as Cena's best match ever, pound-for-pound.
ReplyDeleteDidn't he take three days of acting classes? Must've been at the William Shatner Acting Institute. But you're right, it can't be all his fault when the dialogue is that bad. It's like Harrison Ford told George Lucas when making Star Wars - "You can type this shit, George, but you sure can't say it."
ReplyDeleteIf Reigns is working hard and staying humble about his push, it'd be hard to justify the other guys' sandbagging him...that would just be petty as hell, and unfair to Reigns if he really is trying to improve.
ReplyDeleteHere-in lies the problem with the Super-Spinner belt. First of all, it would take some incredible agility to get all the spinners moving at the same time. Only the hula-hips of the Bella Twins could give those babies the gyrations needed to really give it the style a belt of that nature so richly deserves.
ReplyDeleteSo let's assume the WWE recognizes this problem, and prepares for it by adding a battery pack to assist with the spinning momentum. The belt is already allegedly 50 pounds, now we're getting into hernia territory for some of the older workers. That many spinners aren't working with out at least a solid 8 D batteries, minimum.
So to combat this, you're forced to look to a younger generation of wrestler. But most of the best workers, your Dolph Ziggler, your Gofi Ghana, your Daniel Bryan, they're all, by definition, Vanilla Midgets. If the force of the propellers is met by the wrong airflow, your champion might just get shot through the roof of the arena and disappear. This is okay if you're The Miz, but for others it might be devastating. (And before you argue that they're indoors and there is little chance of sudden climate changes, I ask you this: How did Glacier make it snow, exactly?)
Basically, what I'm getting at, is that while the design might be impressive, I really have no interest in watching Ryback and Bray Wyatt trade the title back and forth.
On the other hand, I am in favor of adding battery packs as weapons.
Cole: "Wyatt grabs the pack of batteries, and they'll do some serious damage!"
Lawler: "Just ask Ryback's mom!"
Bradshaw: "HA HA! THEY'RE OUT OF JUICE, MAGGLE!"
Lawler: "So's Ryback's mom!"
Cole: "if you enjoyed that exchange, join the conversation now with #newattitudeera on Twitter!"
Kronus was incredibly agile for a 300 pound guy, but followed Saturn for every spot.
ReplyDeleteYour argument against propellers is compelling. Hmm.
ReplyDelete1) I'm delighted that @newattitudeera exists, and links to a Kickstarter campaign - https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/dannywatts/ewa-live-wrestling-event - to launch a 'EWA Anarchy' wrestling show in the UK in July of 2014. The campaign was cancelled in January of 2013. I note that the logo actually says 'EWE Anarchy', which coincidentally is the name of the last porno that Eric Rowan watched.
2) That wasn't snow that Glacier was spreading. That 'snow' is all that remains of the late, great P.N. News after he got too close to the jet engine of Ric Flair's private jet. They would use a few bags of his remaining grease, in Glacier's intro. The remaining few dozen sacks are still in a WWE warehouse somewhere
3) What if Hornswoggle and El Torito were dressed as the 'mini-me's of whomever was the current champion, and they ran around the champ holding powerful magnets, forcing the champ to gyrate through the power of polarity?
4) OR, they do this but make it only for the Divas so that it can be flaunted - WITH PROPELLERS - by the Bellas and the other ladies with lovely bottoms of the WWE?
I feel we kinda have that now. ROH is the modern take on old NWA style, Chikara is the soap opera type stuff, CZW is the garbage/hardcore style, and PWG is the balls to the wall wrestling. It's like each took a part of ECW and ran with it.
ReplyDeleteHe was agile, but he couldn't work to save his life.
ReplyDeleteI remember the Friday at midnight one, but never realized there was a Tuesday airing. Kinda crazy for how obsessive I was over ECW at the time.
ReplyDeleteWould you please consider making a compendium of your reviews for Kindle like Scott and Tommy did? I'd enjoy going back and reading all 3 shows by week at my leisure. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteYeah, in Philadelphia, ECW aired Tuesdays at 6:00 until January 1997 when it moved to Thursdays at 11:00. In September 1998, it moved to Fridays at 10:00, so at least in Philadelphia, it aired the same night as the TNN show.
ReplyDeleteOddly enough, when I finally got ECW in my area, it started with this exact episode. It aired on the local UPN affiliate Fridays at midnight, then eventually moved to Saturdays at 11:00, airing before the WWF Shotgun Saturday Night show.
For some reason, shortly after the station became a WB affiliate, ECW was just removed from the schedule completely unannounced in February 1998 and was replaced by, of all things, WCW Worldwide. I think ECW was moved to the new UPN channel in the area after that.
He rolled Muraco up while he was eating a sandwich in the ring.
ReplyDelete