Warriors and Pelicans are on...and it's a good game. Shame I can't flip back and forth seeing as how all my DVR spots are taken.
Er...that's it.
On
the RAW side of things, we already have the pre-show guys saying
idiotic things like, "Sting is gonna answer Cena's challenge tonight!"
I'm not saying RAW and WWE have been anemic...but I didn't even know Extreme Rules was this Sunday.
Let's get moving.
We
start with clips of last Monday when Orton and Rollins both won their
"stipulation" matches and then picked stipulations that aren't useful in
the slightest.
We are LIVE(!!!) from Albany, New York for Monday Night RAW!!!
Orton
starts us off with the steel cage surrounding the ring. He calls
Rollins a "dumb bastard" and says that Rollins thinks that he took away
Orton's greatest weapon, the RKO. He says that he doesn't need the RKO
to win. That would be too quick and easy. He'll break Rollins' jaw so
nobody has to hear him talk. He talks about the severe, brutal, gory
beating Rollins will take at his hands -- and he will have the
championship.
Rollins'
music cuts him off. He says that Randy's got an anger issue. Orton says
he doesn't have an anger problem. He says he has an issue with Rollins
and, at Extreme Rules, that problem will go away. Rollins says that
Orton just rants and he missed a lot of it. So, he recaps what Orton
says, making fun of it along the way. He says that he's the greatest
champ of all-time. He can outmaneuver anyone, both inside and outside
the ring. He says that he's not taking anything away from Orton, calling
him "one of the greatest of all-time"...but Rollins is THAT much
better.
Orton
says, after commercial break, he's gonna get all his anger out of his
system: he's gonna RKO everybody he sees -- and he'll finish with
Rollins by the end of the night.
TONIGHT:
Triple H is coming out to make an announcement about Tough Enough's
return...by, presumably, announcing Tough Enough's return.
Ambrose is out for a match as we go to commercial.
When we come back, Harper talks and says that, after tonight, Ambrose will "be afraid" of him.
MATCH #1: Dean Ambrose vs. Luke Harper
Brawl
to start. Press by Ambrose off a run. Ambrose all over Harper in the
corner with a running forearm. He tries for Dirty Deeds but Harper
evades and hits a kick to Ambrose's stomach. He punches Ambrose but
Ambrose fights him off and shoves him outside. He follows with the
Flying Psycho and goes after Harper with punches. Harper gets up and
tosses Ambrose outside into the crowd. Ambrose tosses Harper back into
the ringside area and hits the Rebound Clothesline when Harper tries to
toss Ambrose back into the ring. Apparently, this match is over,
according to Cole, even though there wasn't a bell but, ok.
WINNERS: No contest.
RATING:
1/2 a *. I didn't even know these two were on the card for Extreme
Rules. Apparently, they are. If only I had paid attention to the
brilliant build-up to this classic post-WM PPV. I really hope Ambrose
goes higher in WWE.
Post-match,
Harper and Ambrose fight to the entrance ramp. Harper dings Ambrose's
head off the giant LED board and then tries to toss Ambrose off the
stage. Ambrose counters with Dirty Deeds but Harper just grabs Ambrose
and tosses him to the ground. Ambrose lands and rolls like Samus in
Metroid, then looks up to see that Harper's fully retreated to the back.
Backstage,
Rollins is freaking out. J&J is tailing him. The Primetime Players
scare the holy shit out of him and mock him. J&J tell Young and
Titus to back off. They do. Rollins bumps into a stagehand and bullies
him for laughing. Triple H bumps into Rollins, scaring him as well.
Triple H asks him Rollins is afraid of Orton and the RKO. Rollins says
he isn't. He just wants extra protection from Orton and the likes of
Kane.
MATCH
#2: Lucha Dragons (Sin Cara & Kalisto) vs. The New Day (Big E &
Kofi Kingston) w/ Xavier Woods for the #1 Contender's Spot for the WWE
Tag Team Championship
Crowd
gives New Day the usual hell and it's Kalisto and Big E to start. Big E
whips Kalisto into the ropes and eventually eats an Enzuguri and a
highly improbable Hurricarana, but E goes down. Kofi and Cara in. Cara
hits a beautiful Springboard Arm Drag Takedown and chops Kofi in the
corner which the crowd can't even bring themselves to "WOO" at. Cara
hits a quick Tornado DDT and gets two. Cara tries a dropkick but Kofi
moves and Cara flies out of the ring. Woods distracts Cara and Kofi hits
a nice dropkick. Cara is rolled back into the ring and the New Day are
all over him with quick tags. Cara tries a tag. E stops him and then
hits a monster clothesline. We go to break.
We're
back. Kofi dropkicks Cara and punches at him. Tag to E who drops a
forearm and claps to mock Cara who kicks at E and tags Kalisto. Tag to
Kofi from E. Kalisto hits a bad-ass spinning moonsault. Kalisto kicks
Kofi in the head. Both of the New Day end up outside, so Kalisto and
Cara do incredible flipping moonsaults off the top buckles -- which
culminates in a goofy ending where Woods is hiding under the ring
(because that's what Woods does) and holds Cara's leg so he can't
re-enter the ring. New Day wins at 9:30. (DANIELLE: They can flip and twist out of every single move but they have no counter for a dude holding onto a leg?)
WINNERS AND #1 CONTENDERS: The New Day
RATING:
**1/2. Not a bad match, really. I guess Vince is still delaying the
Lucha push. Still, it makes no sense that New Day, who has no identity
whatsoever, is getting a title shot due to seniority or something.
Post-match,
the Luchas aren't happy. And, suddenly,
ITSORTONOUTOFNOWHEREWITHRKOSOUTOFNOWHERE!!! He takes out Kofi and Xavier
with ease. Big E tries to get involved, but ditches his teammates.
Orton celebrates. We've probably got 7 more matches ending this way
tonight.
TONIGHT: Another Cena mid-card job.
ALSO: We recall the time when Big Show beat up Roman Reigns on top of a car.
When we get back, we get the video montage of Reigns and Show that will probably run before their DOA match at Extreme Rules.
MATCH #3: Curtis Axel vs. Fandango
Axel
dances to Fandango's music before the match starts. Axel hits a
dropkick after an initial mix-up, then rips his Axelmania t-shirt.
Fandango nearly wins with a Distraction Roll-Up, but Axel thankfully
kicks out. Fandango hits the Sitting Suplex and his Flying Legdrop for
the win at 1:17.
WINNER: Fandango via Flying Legdrop
RATING: N/A - squash - Welcome back, Fandango. Hopefully, they find something to do with him after his first go-round.
TONIGHT: Who ever wins Miz vs. Miz-dow gets the "Miz Brand". Between that and "Bella Brand", I can hardly handle the suspense.
Triple H is out to do his Tough Enough "announcement", where he, presumably, calls out Maven for WrestleMania 32.
He
says that the Authority had to make a decision in the face of chaos:
the Authority was at a crossroads -- so, they chose Seth Rollins to lead
them. He says it's time to find the next guy like Rollins, the guy who
becomes Champion, then has his move banned.. That starts June 23 on USA.
Tough Enough returns. Crowd puts down nachos and mildly applauds,
kinda. He asks the crowd if they've ever dreamed of being a WWE
Superstar. Nearly nobody responds. He asks them to imagine what it's
like to be a champ in WWE. DEAD. SILENCE. He says that dreams become
reality tonight. He tells fans that they can apply for the show via
video and tells the crowd to show that they're truly...tough...enough.
Kane's
music hits and he gets about the same response as the Tough Enough
return announcement. Triple H mocks him saying that he's "too seasoned
to be in Tough Enough". Kane says that he's done nothing but send Triple
H angry messages all week about Seth Rollins' complete lack of respect.
He says he helped Rollins win and he's not dealing with Rollins
anymore. Kane is giving his two week's notice. Triple H doesn't want
that and wants to talk backstage.
Rollins
interrupts and we finally get the 20-minute talk-a-palooza WWE had
deprived us of an hour ago. He says that Kane should quit. They bicker.
Triple H tells the two of them to back off. Kane says that Rollins has
been GIVEN everything, including the MITB case AND the belt. He says
they could have made El Torito champion. Triple H gets between them and
tells them both to shut up. He says that Kane has been nothing but loyal
-- so, at Extreme Rules, Kane is gonna be "The Guardian of the Gate".
Kane will stop anyone from entering or leaving the ring who isn't
supposed to enter or leave, making me wonder if Orton meant to pick Hell
in a Cell instead.
Rollins
doesn't like this at all and says that Kane isn't gonna play fair.
Triple H: "That's why you need to get on the same page as HIM." Kane
puts his hand out. Rollins shakes it and storms off.
(Good
segment here. Ironically, it worked when Kane went on his rant, getting
in Rollins' face about the silver spoon treatment of Rollins.)
We get clips of last week's classic "Divas Battle Royal" where Naomi "turned heel" after losing.
NEXT: Naomi's in a match...but, 'member: she's evil now!!!
Rollins
is backstage, arguing with Kane. Triple H interrupts them and tells
them to shut up. Triple H tells Kane that he's Korporate Kane now, not
the Devil's Favorite Demon. He tells Triple H that he IS the Demon...and
he will prove it. He storms off. Triple H tells Rollins that he's only
champ because of people like Kane. That doesn't make him champion.
Proving that he's champion means fighting night after night. Tonight,
Rollins faces Dolph Ziggler. Rollins isn't happy. Triple H tells him to
show the world what he already knows. Rollins says he's gonna destroy
Dolph.
Naomi
doesn't dance down to the ring. She walks. The heel turn's in full
swing. On the plus side, that means a possible moratorium on the
Funkydactyl music.
MATCH #4: Naomi vs. Brie Bella (w/ Nikki Bella)
Oh,
look. The Bellas are faces by default. Cole awkwardly hits on Nikki as
Brie and Naomi fight in the corner. Naomi hits an uppercut and a snap
mare. Side headlock by Naomi. Brie breaks and hits a clothesline, but
eats a Nikki-style forearm from Naomi. Naomi knees Brie in the head and
Brie sends her out of the ring. When we come back from break, Naomi's
beating on Brie in the ring with her "aggressive new attitude", which is
pretty much the same exact Naomi. Nikki: "This is the same Naomi
you saw last week." Naomi stomps at Brie and tosses her to the mat,
beating on the back of her neck. Headlock by Naomi. Brie breaks and the
two rush at each other as Nikki yells "C'MON BRIE" over and over and
over. After a mutual clothesline, Brie hits the running knee and Brie
Mode Drunken Dropkick of Doom. Two count. Naomi hits a Buckle Bulldog,
but misses a crossbody. Brie knocks her down and gets two. Naomi hits
THEREARVIEWOUTOFNOWHERE and gets the win at 9:09.
WINNER: Naomi via Rear View
RATING:
*1/2. A match that went on far too long. On top of that, the reverse
turns don't work. It's hard to hate or love either of these women. Both
the Bellas were calling Paige "Casper" a couple weeks ago and, now,
we're supposed to buy Nikki "feeling bad" for Paige? And we're supposed
to believe Naomi's a heel -- even though Creative has her coming out to
her fun disco music?
Heath
Slater and Erick Rowan are eating salads backstage. Rowan leaves. Orton
RKO's Slater, eats a tortilla chip, then says, "That's three."
Roman Reigns is out to talk. Or not. He just wants Big Show NOW.
And
that brings out Bo Dallas for a massive bump. He quotes Yoda in "the
greatest Star Wars movie ever made: Episode I", then says that Reigns is
"a bust" and the "Tim Tebow of WWE" as this segment is now as painfully
ironic as it gets. He does the Bo-lieve shtick, then takes a Superman
Punch and Spear. He will beat Big Show -- and he can BO-lieve that.
STILL TO COME: Rollins vs. Ziggler
AT EXTREME RULES: A "Kiss Me Arse" Match. Oh...no...
MATCH #5: Sheamus vs. Zack Ryder
The
bell rings. Sheamus has a mic. He hits a Brogue and tells the audience
he could pin Zack Ryder for three. He asks where the fun is in that.
But, where's the fun in that? Instead, he continues the beating and puts
Ryder on the buckle, then knees him in the chest. He tells Ryder that
he doesn't belong in the ring with him. So he dumps Ryder outside, which
WWE's video crew just has to show again in slow-motion. Another
kick for Ryder, then he rolls Ryder into the ring and mocks the New York
crowd, asking where their city's spirite is. He puts Ryder in the
corner for another Brogue -- but Ziggler shows up to save the day.
Sheamus misses the Brogue on Ziggler and takes a Zigg Zagg, rolling out
of the ring. DQ at 3:32.
WINNER: Sheamus via DQ
RATING: DUD. Sheamus doesn't care what people think of his hair. He's all-in on this gimmick.
WWE Network is free all month. Again. Does this thing EVER bring in money?
NEXT: Cena Open Challenge
Out
comes Cena for his match and asks Albany why they seem to be fading. He
wants them cheering. They do. This Sunday, they go EXTREME. He says
that Rusev seems to have fans where ever they go, which is funny, since
Cena beat him at WrestleMania. Crowd is suddenly caught between their
alliance to king and country and their hatred of Cena. Cena outlines
Rusev's "plan", which consists of "using the chain a lot". But Cena's
got life and he breathes, so, whatevs. He calls out a challenger...and
this week it's...
Kane.
MATCH #6: John Cena (champion) vs. Kane (challenger) for the WWE United States Championship
Kane
knocks Cena down, then beats him up in the corner. He whips Cena, hard,
into the opposite corner, then kicks Cena out of the ring. Rollins and
J&J watch the whole thing backstage. Kane goes outside with Cena,
beating on him, then rolls him into the ring. Cena goes for his usual
moves but Kane catches him and hits the Sidewalk Slam. Cena leaves the
ring again. Kane goes after him, but Cena fights back, punching away.
Kane tosses Cena into the crowd barrier and Cena just happens back into
the ring at seven, which Kane just allows, which tells you how serious
Kane is about that coveted title! Kane covers him for two. Kane works on
Cena's arm, pulling at it. Cena falls. Kane pins for two. Cena fights
back, hitting Move #1, but Kane immediately hits a big uppercut. Cena
goes down. Cena comes back and hits Move #3. He goes for the 5KS but
Kane reaches up, grabs his throat and hits a Chokeslam for two. Kane
signals for a Tombstone but Cena kicks out and hits the AA for the win
at 6:21.
WINNER: Cena via AA
RATING:
**. Meh. Again, I don't believe any of these guys are gonna beat Cena.
On top of that, these matches are just two guys going through the
motions.
STILL TO COME: Ziggler vs. Rollins
HOLY CRAP: Rock n' Wrestling is after RAW on WWE Network! :D
When we come back from break, Kane is limping backstage. Triple H bumps into him. Kane winces and walks off.
Renee
Young has Miz. He says he's the A-List Superstar and he's also the
reason Miz-dow has a job anymore. Renee Young cuts him off like it's the
Oscars and we go to John Cena.
Cena's
with Byron Saxton. Cena brags. Rusev hits him with a chain and locks in
the Accolade with the chain across Cena's face. Would have been even
better if Rusev had made the Russian flag appear from the backstage
ceiling.
MATCH #7: Damien Miz-dow (w/ Summer Rae) vs. The Miz for the "Miz Brand"
Miz-dow
tries to roll up Miz but Miz kicks out. Miz tries the back/neckbreaker
but Miz-dow stops him and hits a Backslide for two. Miz rolls out of the
ring. Miz-dow chases. They both get back into the ring. Miz takes over,
kicking at him in the corner. Miz kicks Sandow in the head and gets
two. Miz goes for the Miz-line but misses. Miz-dow hits the
Miz-back/neckbreakaer and gets two. Lots of countering and SCF attempts
by both men but, wouldn't you know it? Summer turns heel and gouges
Miz-dow in the eyes. Miz hits the SCF and we're done at 2:45.
WINNER: Miz via Skull Crushing Finale
RATING: *. THAT is how you blow this whole thing off? Poor, poor Miz-dow.
Post-match, Miz eats an RKO like he's trying to hit a quota before Extreme Rules.
Bray gives another dumb promo that means nothing, goes nowhere, and will probably screw somebody over at Extreme Rules.
MATCH #8: Ryback vs. Adam Rose (w/ Rosebuds)
Ryback CA-DUSH!!! Beating, Meathook, Shell Shock, done at 1:31.
WINNER: Ryback via Shell Shock
RATING: N/A - squash
Post-match,
two of Rose's Rosebuds -- a hot dog and banana -- attack Ryback and get
a Shell Shock. Then Ryback tells a joke: "What did the banana say to
the hot dog? Nothing. Their asses got Shell Shocked!" Then, Rosa Mendes
appears out of Bumfuck, Nowhere, to align herself with Rose in the most
surreal segment on this show.
Renee
Young stops Kane and says that Rollins and J&J Tweeted about him.
They said they wanna give Kane a gift in denture cream and Depends. Kane
busts into the CFO Suite of Doom and forces Rollins to apologize --
and, surprisingly, he does. He says he's "on edge" due to Orton lurking
around, RKO'ing everyone (if, by "everyone", you mean 1/500th of the
dressing room) and he doesn't wanna burn bridges. In fact, he's
dedicating tonight's match to Kane. Yes, pour it on. Sigh...they shake
hands and Rollins heads to the ring.
Orton watches Rollins in the hallway and we go to break.
MATCH #9: Dolph Ziggler vs. WWE World Heavyweight Champion Seth Rollins (w/ Jamie Noble & Joey Mercury) (non-title)
Rollins
beats on Ziggler in the corner. Ziggler fights back and beats Rollins
the same corner, hitting a neckbreaker and elbow drop. Ziggler
clotheslines him from the ring. Ziggler follows and punches away.
Rollins kicks Ziggler in the stomach as he re-enters but Ziggler hits a
dropkick for a one-count. Ziggler hits a suplex but Rollins kicks out at
one. Ziggler goes for a dropkick but Rollins grabs his legs and slings
him into the buckle. When we come back from break, Ziggler tries to
fight out of a headlock but Rollins puts him to the mat as Cole
continues to plug the "Kiss Me Arse" match just so he can say the word,
"arse". Rollins hits a Side Suplex, getting two. Another headlock by
Rollins. Ziggler hits a chinbreaker to get out of it. Rollins tries to
hit a splash in the corner but eats the buckle instead. Ziggler counters
a Side Suplex and hits a quick lariat and corner splash. He rushes
Rollins again, only to get kicked in the stomach, but comes back with a
DDT, getting two. Rollins tries a schoolboy, but Ziggler kicks out.
Enzuguri by Rollins. Two count. Rollins goes for a Buckle Bomb. Ziggler
counters and rolls him up for two. Ziggler hits a Superkick and NEARLY
gets a fall. Ziggler gets up -- and here comes Sheamus to interfere.
Rollins grabs Ziggler for a Buckle Bomb and his new move to avoid a head
injury to superstars, a DDT...HUH?!
WINNER: Seth Rollins via DDT at 11:32
RATING:
**. Eh. This was another Rollins/Ziggler match with an OK finish.
Nothing special. The Curb Stomp needs to be put back into play if a DDT
is "OK".
Post-match, Rollins celebrates and tells the crowd that he's gonna beat Orton to retain the championship.
Triple
H interrupts and congratulates him -- but Rollins interrupts, ripping
the mic out of his hands. He wants to "finish his thoughts". He mentions
Kane -- who shows up. J&J try to get in his way, then Triple H gets
in his way as well. Seth calls for the cage to be lowered -- and it is
-- except Orton is in the ring with Rollins. Rollins tries to escape but
Orton RKO's him ON HIS HEAD (OH NOES!!!) and stands tall as we go off
the air -- oh, but wait -- Cole has to plug Hulk Hogan's Rock n'
Wrestling, that great, groundbreaking moment in animation! Jesus...
OVERALL: **. Decent show with your usual two hours of filler.
And I present the return of The Best of Monday Night Open Mic:
Er...that's it.
BRRAAAAAIIIINNNNSSSSS.....
ReplyDeleteA 9 minute Diva match and they give it to a Bella and the woman who hits people in the face with her area?
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I actually lost two stone by getting a severe chest infection and breaking a rib from coughing. The lack of sleep, loss of appetite and general strain of being on my feet all day showed tremendous results.
ReplyDeleteSummer Rae turned heel.
ReplyDeleteDoes the WWE have ANY active women who are faces?
(Are the Bellas now face by default)?
Does Renee Young count?
ReplyDeleteIt does seem that the network is free all the time even though it's probably like every 2 or 3 months. I wish Netflix was like that.
ReplyDeleteRollins new finisher looks suspiciously like Dirty Deeds.
ReplyDeleteThis show sounds like a hot mess.
ReplyDeleteMatt's fat. His argument is invalid.
ReplyDeleteRollins' new move isn't exactly a DDT. In a DDT Rollins would fall backward, but here he drops forward. The point is, the opponent is dropped more on his face than on his head, which is why it's "okay" by WWE standards.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I knew they'd fuck up Miz/Mizdow's feud. It didn't even last until a PPV.
The Bellas will never be faces. Ever. Just something so irritatingly unattractive about them (i'd smash both of them, but you get me).
ReplyDeleteI just can't stand the women's roster right now, utter embarrassment. Surely call a couple of NXT names up?!
Boy, a FREE report, just for me?!
ReplyDeleteCrackers! (I bet you can eat them on this fake robo-diet)
It's essentially a DDT with a front bump instead of a back bump. I'm sure Christian used to use it.
ReplyDeleteseems like an off day for both raw and the blog. I only got a chuckle from one of the top comments, and kane in the overrun was just sad.
ReplyDeleteHey, maybe Kane will become disillusioned with what he's become and transition back to more of a ......I don't know..... a demon character. That'd be a new direction for him....
ReplyDeleteI will say that I fully support merciless Ryder beatings.
ReplyDeleteMaybe he'll renew his dental license?
ReplyDeleteUsing the chain a lot sounds like a reasonably solid plan to me.
ReplyDeleteDanielle is cute though. So there's that.
ReplyDeleteKane had a 2 star match? isn't this show of the year by default?
ReplyDeleteChristian's was from behind, but yeah, that's the nearest comparison.
ReplyDeleteFuck yeah! The Ryback gets a program!!!
ReplyDeleteIf anyone can, Seth can.
ReplyDeleteOr it's be a way to let Rollins get himself disqualified.
ReplyDelete< This system reveals to people exactly how they can rapidly lose over 1 pound of body weight daily. The diet doesn’t involve starving yourself or exercising like crazy, but instead follows a specific scientific method of including certain nutrient rich foods into your diet that, when combined, offer special fat-combating properties. You don’t need to restrict yourself to certain types of foods like ‘no carbs’ or ‘no sugar’, but rather include ‘the good stuff’ as well to help burn the fat. This diet is extremely effective and based off years of scientific research and testing to ensure its safety and effectiveness. This FREE Report may help you also
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I know! I'm excited The Ryback's getting a program too!!!!
ReplyDeleteMorishima was booked a lot like Lesnar during his ROH title run. Underrated champion and a forgotten part of the company's history. Plus, the right guy beat him.
ReplyDeleteRollins' DDT looked like shit
ReplyDeleteNot banned eh? That's a relief! Expect Cena to debut a shitty curb stomp next week.
ReplyDeleteSo is the Curb Stomp a MDK move now?
ReplyDeleteAt least it wasn't The Playmaker/Play of the Day/Overdrive/shitty leg behind the head spinning neckbreaker thing that does no damage.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure if Wyatt is ready to tangle with a mind as elaborate as Rybacks. The mind games are gonna go through the roof!
ReplyDeleteMind Games don't work on Da Big Guy!
ReplyDeleteIt would be kind of funny if they played it that all of Bray's mind games and cryptic quotes don't unnerve Ryback b/c he's too dumb.
ReplyDeleteHe doesn't know the definition of all the words Bray used so they don't intimidate him!
ReplyDeleteBray Wyatt vs. Ryback? Jesus, this would be the point where you jumped promotions if there were still anywhere else to go.
ReplyDeleteHas Bray been bullying anybody? Because that might give the Ryback a reason to get angry.
ReplyDeleteso it's not banned....but he won't use it? I am assuming it will be like Orton's punt and while the RKO is the main finisher he will pull the Curb Stomp out when nothing else works?
ReplyDeleteI still can't believe they let he use the move this long..get it over as one of the big moves in WWE and put the belt on him at the biggest show of the year ......THEN decide oh hey...this thing might be dangerous.
Watching the highlights of that Ziggler/Rollins match from last night on Youtube. A minute in before Cole says "creates separation".
ReplyDeleteStupid people are notoriously hard to truly win an argument with as they tend not to understand when they've lost.
ReplyDeleteIt would be like the futurama episode of the brains vs fry
ReplyDeleteAs Austin said last week, Ziggler's elevated DDT is so much better than the Zig Zag. As is the super kick.
ReplyDeleteVery observant. You get a gold star.
ReplyDeleteSomeone died in the UK this week because they took some online diet pill that ended up basically burning her alive inside. Awful story.
ReplyDeleteI decided to watch the NBA playoffs instead of Raw. Did I miss anything good?
ReplyDeleteBray: "do you know you've lost your soul and bla bla Bray talk bla blah" Ryback: "......I don't lose I'm the big guy"
ReplyDeleteHe'll pump up his sneakers before he does it, too.
ReplyDeleteI always liked the idea of 2 finishers: the regular finisher and the super duper no one kicks out of this one. Maybe the curb stomp will be that for rollins
ReplyDeleteSeth's DDT reminded me a bit of Barry Windham's old implant DDT.
ReplyDeleteSpringboard Curb Stomp.
ReplyDeleteThey should have Ryback desperately flip through a Rosetta Stone book during one of Bray's promos.
ReplyDeleteSo it's not banned Vince just wants to........Curb your enthusiasm for the move...drops mic
ReplyDeleteYou need to put on the sunglasses before you say that
ReplyDelete2-0 on the pelicans... They should just cancel wrestling during real sports. Was there anything on raw worth watching or should I just wait and see it in June since they'll be doing the same matches until then anyway?
ReplyDeleteI would have but I saw someone already did that in the night thread last night.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.picgifs.com/reaction-gifs/reaction-gifs/laughing/picgifs-laughing-35443.gif
ReplyDelete"Was there anything on raw worth watching"
ReplyDeletehttp://www.picgifs.com/reaction-gifs/reaction-gifs/laughing/picgifs-laughing-35443.gif
ahhhh I now have two of these playing at the same time...room spinning ...can't breath....
ReplyDelete*tempted to post a third one....*
ReplyDeleteTo really piss off austin, seth should start using the stun gun
ReplyDeleteRollins was beaten at Wrestlemania by the RKO. He's not stupid.
ReplyDeleteWyatt/Ryback.
ReplyDeleteHoly shit.
Did Bray not shake Taker's hand or something?
They should flip the script and give Bray's promos to Ryback and have Bray out their just spouting catch phrases
ReplyDeleteThe curb stomp seemed relatively safe.
ReplyDeleteThe wording in yesterday's report seemed like they are trying to save the Curb Stomp for special matches or situations and not ban it 100%.
ReplyDeleteI am fucking shocked, SHOCKED I tell you, that Wrestlezone got something wrong.
ReplyDeleteWhy not? It's a pointless midcard feud anyway, let them just get completely absurd with it. It won't help either guy long-term anyway.
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly what I was getting at.
ReplyDeleteThey really need to put the wyatts back together...go the extra mile and add Bo too as the Toadie to Bray's Scutt Farkus
ReplyDeleteIf they run an angle where someone pummels Bray, Bo screams "I'm getting my dad!" and comes running out with IRS, I will personally send the WWE an extra $9.99 a month.
ReplyDeleteI don't think it has anything to do with the move being dangerous. The WWE's been on this thing for a while now where they don't want to do anything on TV that kids could try to mimick and end up killing someone. It takes more than most kids have to try to do an F5, but anyone can curb stomp somebody and you can easily break someone's neck doing it.
ReplyDeleteNow, this mission doesn't make sense, seeing as a non-worked punch can kill someone, but since when has not making sense stopped the modern day WWE?
Also, they're being sued over concussions. Probably not a good look to have your world champion curb stomping people.
I just realized the whole Ralphie Scutt angle was how they could/should have turned Cena heel
ReplyDeleteC'mon man, no need to bring the BOD into this.
ReplyDeleteI was being vague with dangerous but everything you say in that (minus the concussion suing) isn't anything new and still goes along with my...it took them this long to decide to walk it back?
ReplyDeleteThey just don't have any direction for Bray. Please get him and Bo together and reform a stable.
ReplyDeleteJericho interviews Steph on his next network podcast.
ReplyDeleteThat should be interesting.
The guy who won't step outside the company's guidelines interviewing the person who can't speak except in business-oriented buzzwords.
The ultimate cure for insomnia.
ReplyDeleteI will vouch. I'm a lucky guy.
ReplyDeleteThis doesn't sound interesting at all.
ReplyDeleteEveryone kicks out of finishers no le anyways.
ReplyDeleteOr let him go somewhere else. His character is dead in the water.
ReplyDeleteThey started it!
ReplyDeleteThese daily update threads, even the ones the day after Raw, seem to be limping along lately. I guess that's a reflection of the current state of wrestling.
ReplyDeleteRollins should do a bit that he busts out new finishers all the time so his opponents don't know what's coming.
ReplyDeleteAn F5 is a fireman's carry. It really isn't hard to do to someone, even if you're not particularly strong. You gotta get some air to do the curb stomp.
ReplyDeleteand when she does..she says things like the Charity PR thing or comparing 9/11 to the Feds going after her dad.
ReplyDelete"So Stephanie, please tell us MORE about how hard it is to be the greatest philanthropist on the face of the planet. Is your heart made of 24 karat gold or are you truly mortal like the rest of us? And how does it feel to be one of the greatest writers of our generation... I remember our feud with Triple H where you wrote me out of Raw by having me buy hand lotion and walk your dog... it was so GREAT to be involved with that level of genius and I'm truly thankful I got to pick your brain during that brief amount of time."
ReplyDeleteWho's next for Jericho on his WWE Shill Podcast Tour, the Miz?
ReplyDeleteI don't think I start paying attention to WWE until roughly SummerSlam.
ReplyDeleteAn F5 is more than that. The fireman's carry is the first part. Now you gotta get the guy up and over your head with nothing but your core muscles, one arm and momentum. Much harder than it seems.
ReplyDeleteMaybe Bray will just give up talking and shit in Ryback's sandwich after he asks to be fed more
ReplyDeletethat would be kind of awesome. Kaynon was doing that for a bit and it was cool but you know...wcw
ReplyDeleteYes. That was the joke.
ReplyDeleteHe needs some followers back. What good is a cult leader without anyone to lead? Just watch some old stuff Raven did with his Flock and copy that.
ReplyDeleteHe could steal Eugene's bit and start doing old finishers from the past.
ReplyDeleteNot the worst idea, but he kinda had that already with the Phoenix Splash.
ReplyDeleteLimpin' ain't easy!
ReplyDeleteOh, I completely glossed over the part where you wrote 'That should be interesting'. Sorry, wasn't trying to make a bad joke.
ReplyDeleteThat reminds me of an episode of Justified where Daryl Crow, this big redneck dude played by Michael Rappaport, gets into a fight with one of Wynn Duffy's bodyguards who attempts to use MMA techniques on him. Crow just picked him up and slammed him through a table and goes, "that kung-fu shit don't work on me."
ReplyDeleteGod. That Q+A she did on Twitter a while back. "Do you like being a mom?" Jesus.
ReplyDeleteThey won't seem to fully commit to the "cult leader" gimmick, like they're afraid of offending someone or going too far. Similar to when they clearly crucified Steve Austin but kept referring to him being "tied to the Undertaker's Symbol".
ReplyDeleteMy favorite part of raw was when Draymond Green locked up Anthony Davis. But yeah the old ass 6 seed spurs are the favorites for sure!
ReplyDeleteI do know WCW. It was awesome.
ReplyDelete"So Steph how is lucy the dog?"
ReplyDeleteSo be it austin or jericho who is there to interview? Another Vince? Rock, Taker, ...anyone else?
ReplyDeleteThey're probably scared that children would copy Bray and start their own cults.
ReplyDeleteEva Marie! Gotta sell the next season of Total Divas!
ReplyDeleteJericho: "So tell me about the next season."
Eva Marie: "It's gonna be really cool. Like, really interesting, you know?"
Jericho: *nods*
Eva Marie: *smiles for no reason*
*59:25 of silence*
Not banned but just told please don't do the move any more.
ReplyDeleteThey would compliment each other's scarves at some point
ReplyDeleteThere's no one interesting to interview because the WWE Tractor Beam will ultimately pull them back in if they start to be too frank or veer too far from the company line.
ReplyDeleteWhy are you being a fucking hater for? Act like you've been here before.
ReplyDeleteIt's what happens when a perpetually cursed team becomes good.
ReplyDeleteSee also: Red Sox fans
It doesn't seem like that got it wrong.
ReplyDeleteThey reported that WWE wouldn't let Rollins do the move anymore.
And in reality, he won't ever be doing the move anymore.
If this is The Cubs year... I will be horrendous!
ReplyDeleteIf anything even remotely interesting happens during that Jericho interview, I guarantee one of next weeks daily updates will have a line about WWE being very unhappy with Chris Jericho.
ReplyDeleteShit, the Mets are 10-3 and I don't know how to act.
ReplyDeleteNEW ON THE WWE NETWORK The Taz Pdocast
ReplyDeleteIt's unreal how fucking boring everything in WWE is and how unover pretty much the whole roster is.
ReplyDeleteBased strictly on overness, this is one of the shittiest fucking rosters I've ever seen in WWE.
I actually won't be that way as I will assume I'll jinx it...and even if they were to win..I would be holding my breath that someone gets busted for roids and some games get taken away.
ReplyDeleteYou'd be better off watching a soccer team play basketball in sneakers on an ice hockey rink than watch Raw.
ReplyDeleteThis has to be one of the worst creative runs ever. I mean when you take the ammount of talent they have and then look at how ever people are.
ReplyDeleteOverness isn't a roster problem. Overness is a booking problem.
ReplyDeleteIt really sucks that the young guys like Rollins will get blamed for it when they've never been given an opportunity to go over the big stars. You know things are dire when Randy Orton is main eventing PPVs.
ReplyDeleteKane and Big Show are being used as top heels in 2015. There's a roster problem.
ReplyDeleteAlso it's amazing what a totally nothing act HHH has become. That dude couldn't buy a reaction last night. They really need to just take him off TV for 10 months or else by the time they try and do his Mania feud against The Rock he'll be less over than fucking Kane.
ReplyDeleteThere are hosses you can plug in their roles and not miss a beat. That's a booking problem.
ReplyDeleteIf they do that ..maybe they could...not have every major feud filtered through the authority..I know it's sounds crazy...but
ReplyDeleteWould it be THAT much harder to use like, Luke Harper in the Kane position and a very large rock or something in Big Show's?
ReplyDeleteHey according to the blog Orton is extremely over. Don't let his dull matches and zero fan reaction fool you
ReplyDeleteWe've been over this before. yes, I agree the roster is full of talented guys who can do cool movez and be great wrestlers if given the chance. Yes, it's 100% a booking problem.
ReplyDeleteBut the terrible booking has created a roster full of unover guys who aren't worth a damn anymore.
Bray Wyatt is someone who had all the talent and potential in the world. But it doesn't matter when he's now basically worth jackshit to audiences.
"So Hunta, that was a good piece of business we did when I was ECW champ and you pinned me on Smackdown, bro!"
ReplyDeleteEven when Orton's storylines and matches get over, like, ugh, the Christian feud (another wrestler I can't stand) it's midcard stuff. I haven't seen Randall get a top guy reaction since 2009/2010.
ReplyDeleteJust rest easy in the fact that not only do the Cubs have a good core of young talent, they have ownership that wants to win and management that is on the cutting edge of scouting, drafting, and development.
ReplyDeleteWe're at a point now where individual players don't matter as much because the system will keep producing talent.
That's more a booking problem. And really there's no one else to fill the "giant" role, so I give Big Show a pass.
ReplyDeleteKane needs to go, however.
They're just actively killing guys off left and right now, it's nuts.
ReplyDeleteIt's a problem they're on the roster at all.
ReplyDeleteIs a "giant" something we need? And speaking of- they're bringing Khali back, because reasons.
Hmm...this is true. And it ain't easy to rebuild someone when you've conditioned the audience to see them as a chump.
ReplyDeleteOrton's a nice little midcarder, but as a main eventer he's been a massive dud everytime.
ReplyDeleteIf they freshened his look and trunks and music and stuff he MIGHT be tolerable toward the top. I mean, he is fully capable of delivering a ***1/2 to ***3/4 match but the guy has a talent ceiling and the character is as stagnant as Cena who is a better worker.
ReplyDeleteAnd the problem is they've pretty much conditioned the audience to see everyone on the roster as a chump. Short of HHH, Steph, and the part-timers this whole roster is presented week after week as a gaggle of losers.
ReplyDeletewhich would make sense from a Vince point of view if they had an Austin, Rock, HHH, Foley, Taker and Angle. If they had a hand full of guys super over you could at least understand their not wanting to clog up the top of the card and hold guys back but...on the face said you have Cena and Orton (for the last 10 years) on the heel side you have Rollins (the one guy they have done right) and some where out there the most over guy in the company sits at home on his farm..hunting deer with his bare hands
ReplyDeleteBack in the day they would have given Cesaro the "European guy who wants to be American and always talks about loving American things" gimmick. He'd be way over by showing a basic appreciation for simple things we take for granted, and he'd get a run against Rusev or partnering with Cena.
ReplyDeleteBut apparently he's not connecting with the fans, so whatever.
One giant is useful as a storytelling trope.
ReplyDeleteA seemingly insurmountable opponent is a great tool for getting a face over with casuals and kids. The problem with Big Show is he's used up and there is no one to take his place.
Stone Cold Randy Orton has been such a breath of fresh air after years of Jorts McHogan, and then the past few months of Reigns being shoved down our throats.
ReplyDeleteI know Kane was around stinking up the joint still, but I
ReplyDeleteenjoyed Raw much more when there was no Authority around. Rollins did a
perfectly fine job of building up himself and his angles without people talking
for him. Shame the ratings were way down from the post-Mania Raw (mainly I'd
presume because half the people Mania was built around are no longer on the
show).
Wasn't that shot down?
ReplyDeleteIf the Curb Stomp is a problem, I'm fine with not using it. I didn't really like the look of his new move though. Maybe it'll grow on me.
ReplyDeleteSo HHH making the big Tough Enough announcement probably put the TV ratings through the roof, right?
ReplyDeleteHHH's whole gimmick was being an asskicker who was always looking for a fight. You take that aspect away from him, and what's left? No one gives a fuck about corporate executive HHH.
ReplyDeleteSo what you're saying is, if they completely overhaul his look and character he can get over. Yikes. Your 2 type guys and one of them seemingly needs a heel turn to because he's stagnant and the other needs to completely change everything about him. I think Orton should go away and come back with long hair and a goatee, just because I think that would look ridiculous and humorous.
ReplyDeleteI wonder how many non-wrestling things have to die an awful death for WWE to scale back on them and start re-focusing on the actual wrestling shows.
ReplyDeleteMeh, people act like the Spurs are this invincible force even when they're a sixth seed. They looked mediocre for most of the year, heated up towards the end, and now everyone immediately acts like they're gonna go '01 Lakers on everyone so I'm sure fans of the team that's been the clear best for most of the season that's been overlooked for no reason other than they're not the team most people are used to being good will develop a chip on their shoulder.
ReplyDeleteWWE is about as interesting as the upcoming British general elections.
ReplyDeleteYou also gotta love John Cena basically having to beg the crowd to wake the fuck up. Always a sign that your show is doing gangbusters is when you have to send your main hero out there to grovel for any kind of reaction.
ReplyDelete1. Vince still might not even know what "a Netflix" is.
ReplyDelete2. I have no trouble this being a "of course we are able to do this and succeed, too!"-situation (I mean, correct me if I am wrong but I don't recall the WWF poaching important executives from Hard Rock Cafe when they opened their New York restaurant. afair they were convinced they could do it "themselves").
Are you not entertained?
ReplyDeleteThey need to bring in Shawn Bradley, Diekembe Mutumbo, and Gheorge Muresean. They can fill those giant roles. Or in a more serious fashion, get guys like former football players, MMA heavyweights, or sumo wrestlers to do that. Send them to theperformance center and see who sticks, move them to NXT and there ya go. You got yourself a big fattie.
ReplyDeleteI didn't say "get him over" - I said it would freshen him. His character hasn't made any major changes in ten years since he turned back heel before Wrestlemania 21. It's time for an overhaul.
ReplyDeleteIs anybody denying there's a staleness to the top guys at this point? And Orton is the #2? I'd say of the full timers Bryan is far more popular at this point.
:: Sees 10 posts from Worst In The World before hitting Load More Comments ::
ReplyDeleteIs it Tuesday already? Man times FLIES!
I have severely burned out on our election with a good few weeks to go. If I see any one of those 6 leaders again I think my exploding head will explode.
ReplyDeleteWoah woah, don't be too loud. We don't want the baseball gods to hear us being happy and positive.
ReplyDeleteKane is absolutely atrocious in his director of operations role. A total lack of charisma
ReplyDeleteBut they had the Big Show there for WrestleMania! If seeing him in person to realize how big he is wasn't enough to make the restaurant a success, then nothing would have worked! He could have cooked your dinner in his frying pan hands if he wanted to!
ReplyDeleteHe is making some solid points.
ReplyDeleteHey as long as Dusty Bake rand Alex Gonzalez aren't around you should be good.
ReplyDeleteBy WWE or your posts?
ReplyDeleteLuke in the Kane position is actually kind of brilliant. J&J security is running its course.
ReplyDeleteHHH got to surround himself with an actual stable. Rollins should do the same thing. Luke as an enforcer and then a tag team that can get the crowd pumped. Screw it bring up Enzo and Cass. They've got a NAO thing going on anyway. And then use each other to get EVERYONE over.
As always, Big Show goes away and does house shows.
Undertaker would be interesting
ReplyDeleteNo I'm agreeing with you. I'm saying it's insane that they have to do that to their top 2. Shows how much they were resting their company on those 2 for too long. I'd say Bryan is the fans number 1-2 but Orton is the WWE's #2. Cena Orton Rollins Reigns Bryan.
ReplyDeleteI'm as excited as everyone else about the return of Sheamus! In that I'm not in the least bit excited.
ReplyDeleteThe curb stomp is like Orton's punt then. He'll bust it out in big matches.
ReplyDeleteYou're making the assumption that "Giant" is a role that needs to be filled.
ReplyDeleteSadly there's more chance of Jericho playing 5 minutes of cowbell than there is of him asking an interesting question.
ReplyDeleteWitW usually tends to be right
ReplyDeleteFor a blog full of smart fans, how do yall not figure out that maybe.... just maybe they might be trying to protect the move as an ender... like the punt to the head from orton?
ReplyDeletePeople kick out of the curb stomp, but they shouldnt, so stop using it so it can be kicked out and save it for the big matches and angles.
When bray released Harper and Rowan from the family they should of showed up in suits the next week as part of the authority. They could develop from that role
ReplyDeleteWhen was the last time Orton actually hit the punt?
ReplyDeleteJericho would hit on her and Eva would be all, "I'm not into lesbians and anyway aren't you with Portia De Rossi?"
ReplyDeleteThat's the risk they're gonna have to take.
ReplyDeleteHe didn't shake it hard enough.
ReplyDeleteSummer Rae turning on Damien Sandow last night was so shocking I had to turn off Raw and not watch it again for 6 months.
ReplyDeleteRyder needs to go to TNA like Drew Mcintyre did.
ReplyDeleteThis might sound stupid, but I always thought that post-Mania 30, it would have been neat if HHH got so desperate with beating Bryan or the Shield that eventually he had to make a deal with Bray. Thought that could lead to some interesting future stories with Bray being uncontrollable and going beyond whatever HHH was willing to do.
ReplyDeleteCurb Stomp is being pulled to stop imitators curb stomping anyone in prayer to Allah. Either hatefully or as idiot play gone wrong.
ReplyDeleteWhat's the point of being a wrestling company if you can't do something even mildly controversial.
ReplyDeleteI feel like it was in 2011.
ReplyDeleteThem just not bothering to push Sandow right now is ridiculous. Really shows there's no point getting behind anyone who isn't Cena or Orton.
ReplyDeleteYou're the perfect guy in a storm. Or rather, the day after a storm to point out everything that went wrong.
ReplyDeleteWhat's the best way to make it even more exciting when it does come? Deny it.
ReplyDeleteIt's working wonders for Hideo and the GTS.
*watches Orton kick out of 3 Curb Stomps Sunday*
ReplyDelete"given the racist history of the actual curb stomp"
ReplyDeletewhat racist history?
Do you still watch WWE?
ReplyDeleteRowan, Big E, Cesaro, Rusev, Ryback, Sheamus. 6 guys off the top of my head who could easily fill the "hired muscle" role besides Show and Kane. The roster is not the problem.
ReplyDeleteHell, in 1997 they needed to pull 5 dudes from Mexico and make the mid-carders work double duty just to have enough guys to fill a Rumble. THAT is a roster problem and they still made it work better than it does now.
I don't believe Orton has ever hit his wife!!!!???
ReplyDeleteOh, 'punt'. My mistake. Sorry, everyone
ReplyDeleteA Ryback vs Wyatt feud could be interesting. Not great, but interesting.
ReplyDeleteRe: Kane and Big Show going away
ReplyDeleteHow hard can it be to find new seven footers? There's got to be washed up power forwards and d-linemen out there somewhere.