Scott,
I'm watching No Mercy 2007 on the network and am astonished by the idea of the "Punjabi Prison" match. Did WWE really have such high hopes for Great Khali that they created an entire trademark match for him? And, if that was the case, why the hell did they create a match like that? Building the cage must have been expensive, but there's also the fact that it works against any of Khali's "strengths" because he's not really capable of making a quick escape from it. Plus, you can't SEE through it! I've never seen a gimmick match that looks worse on television. Was there some backstage explanation for the idea?
They just really, REALLY, loved Great Khali and thought they had big money in him. You see, he's even bigger than the Big Show! How could they lose?
In fairness, year one Khali was booked amazingly well.
ReplyDeleteThe guy was the shits, sure. But they did try.
Is Khali the only guy to never win his signature match?
ReplyDeleteNot sure, did Punk ever win an I Quit match?
ReplyDeleteHe did...the day after the Royal Rumble
ReplyDelete*rimshot*
Has Kane won an Inferno Match?
ReplyDeleteHe's in a running contest with Koslov for who was the bigger letdown after some amazing booking.
ReplyDeleteHe beat MVP once in one!
ReplyDeleteHas Taker ever successfully buried anyone alive?
ReplyDeleteDoomsday Cage says hi.
ReplyDeleteGreat Khali didn't just have the hands the size of frying pans, see. He had hands the size of those huge plug-in frying pans!
ReplyDeleteI think this could be a fun movie but recent remakes have really sucked.
ReplyDeleteWith Khali's knees? Running contest is a poor choice
ReplyDelete"Bigger Trouble in Littler China" - The Rock fights against the Chinese midget mafia.
ReplyDeleteThe one I'm dreading the most is Gremlins, which is apparently being discussed.
ReplyDeleteFun fact: Punjabi translates to "Unfunny Jobber", so there's honesty in advertising for once.
ReplyDeleteBreakdown:
Pun = unfunny (strange, yet true*.)
Jabi = Jobber
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(* true = false)
Wait, did Khali ever actually compete in one? I remember one PPV or two where they randomly replaced Khali with the Big Show or someone else.
ReplyDeleteDo ypu have to answer a question with a question?
ReplyDeleteHe made Undertaker tap out to defend the WHC.
ReplyDeletePaul Bearer?
ReplyDeleteRusev will win.
ReplyDeleteAway with your honest answers https://s.yimg.com/uu/api/res/1.2/GZHQLLKpf0BX0lX7.86HVA--/dz05NTY7c209MTtmaT1maWxsO3B5b2ZmPTA7aD01Mzg7YXBwaWQ9eXRhY2h5b24-/http://media.zenfs.com/en-US/video/video.snl.com/SNL_1350_09_Debbie_Downer.png
ReplyDeleteKhali vs Batista for the WHC in an Punjabi Prison.
ReplyDeleteWas that the red TNA cage? That thing was awful.
ReplyDeleteSurprised Joanie hasn't been involved in a porn parody of this yet.
ReplyDeleteHands like tavas, MAGGLE~!
ReplyDeletehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tava
Uncensored 96 cage. Red one was I think called the Asylum
ReplyDeleteChris Pratt would be a better Jack, but I'm actually OK with this. Does anyone else read Eric Powell's BTILC comic?
ReplyDeleteKhali means "vacant" or "empty"? Really?
ReplyDeleteThe Great Empty
Played by Kaientai because lolhollywoodasianaccuracy
ReplyDeleteThe debut of the match was the "elevated liver enzymes" PPV where most of the matches got rearranged because of them. Khali was pulled and replaced with Big Show in the Undertaker match, because they figured any big lumbering guy will do.
ReplyDeleteNo, it was the TERRORDOME.
ReplyDeleteConsidering they keep wanting to expand into India, isn't about time they brought in a decent Indian wrestler?
ReplyDeleteTiger Ali Singh & Great Khali cannot be the cream of the countries crop.
Rock has the comedic chops to pull it off I think, but it only works if they play it off the same as the original. I imagine we'll get some generic action film set in Chinatown to justify the title.
ReplyDeleteThey signed a couple of new guys to NXT this week.
ReplyDeleteSonjay Dutt is probably the best Indian wrestler.
Is Sonjay Dutt indian? I thought he was American with some Indian blood and used an Indian gimmick.
ReplyDeleteWell, his heritage is Indian but he's from the US.
ReplyDeleteHe is from the us but he is over huge in India do to his heritage
ReplyDeleteIt's also the name of an Indian god. Pretty sure that's what they were going for not empty
ReplyDeleteThey did bring Jesus in just to have him job to Cena after all.
ReplyDeleteNo! He was THE SHIT! As in he was awesome!
ReplyDeletetechnically Undertaker won the first Buried Alive against Mankind
ReplyDeleteDo you?
ReplyDeleteI can't believe Khali lasted so long, time sure does fly.
ReplyDeleteSearching for Man on Fire lead to Men On Fire - Gay Firemen popping up in my search results.
ReplyDeleteI think Bret won a couple of ""carry your opponent to an all time classic that brings the dressing room to tears" matches.
ReplyDeleteYou'd think in a country that large there has to be at least one decent worker there. Same with China. I'm really surprised there hasn't been a Chinese wrestler so that they could expand into that market ala what the NBA did with Yao Meng.
ReplyDeleteYeah, but if pro wrestling isn't really that prominent there, is it really surprising? In Canada/Europe/US/Japan, it's part of pop culture but maybe India and China don't have that. So how can you expect someone from India or China to be a top worker when there really isn't an environment there to foster their development?
ReplyDeleteI mean, Tiger Ali Singh's father Tiger Jeet is a famous Indian wrestler but he didn't learn his craft in India. He's an immigrant to Canada.
Your gay escapades have nothing to do with the Punjabi Prison!
ReplyDeleteMany, MANY of those.
ReplyDeleteMany of the WCW Invasion guys.
ReplyDeleteHe deserves better!
ReplyDeleteOn my phone, forgive me if it's already been posted: on MLW radio, the writers themselves have mentioned the match was NOTHING like they envisioned. Kevin Dunn changed everything about the structure and presentation.
ReplyDeleteThe lesson as always: buck toothed, lispy fuckers ruin everything.
Rock being the muscle-bound guy who is hapless as a hero in Chinatown should work on some level, but I'd rather see a sequel.
ReplyDeleteTalked about this regarding the Big Show. Vince had Andre the Giant for years and it was like he suddenly forgot how to book a giant. If the territories were still around, Khali would have made alot of money for alot of people. And he would have developed as a wrestler alot better.
ReplyDeleteIt is a completely different time period. Andre came in for a few months, squashed some guys because it was fresh, had a feud & beat a midcarder then left. Months later he returned and the pattern repeated.
ReplyDeleteNow they are on tv twice a week, every week with monthly PPVs, you can't run the same formula.
On the Punk documentary during the part about his first title run in 08, Michael Hayes says something like "A lot of people thought he tarnished the title." The previous year it was held by the fucking Great Khali.
ReplyDeleteYeah but who said Khali had to be on every show and every PPV? He feuded with Cena, HHH, Batista and pretty much lost all his feuds until they had to turn him into a goofy babyface whereas in his first feud with Taker, he destroyed him (pinned him with one foot!) and should have disappeared for awhile so his aura remained strong.
ReplyDeleteSomeone saw Kennel From Hell and thought this match is quite good but what would make it even better is to replace the dogs with bamboo!
ReplyDeleteHaha well done.
ReplyDeleteBut on a weekly tv show, a wrestler who can't be used regularly has minimal value and is unlikely to be a success. In the modern age only three wrestlers have ever been able to pull that off successfully. Undertaker, BROCK LESNAR & Sting. All three of whom were already regulars on tv and had had numerous great matches before being a part time attraction.
ReplyDeleteThe Brain Chop makes me mark out every single time.
ReplyDeleteBut someone like Khali isn't meant to be an every day player. He's an attraction so when he does show up on TV or PPV, it's a big deal. If his aura as an unstoppable giant is kept strong, it means a lot more when the babyface finally slays him.
ReplyDeleteWhich was pretty much what happened, after his debut he beat people left and right including guys like Undertaker & Mysterio. Cena finally slayed him, but then what?
ReplyDeleteYou have a guy who can't wrestle and his one unique aspect, that fact he can't be beat has gone. So what are you left with?
Everyone moaning about remakes don't seem to realise that you don't have to watch the fucking thing.
ReplyDeleteWhat the fuck does Punk have to do with this?
ReplyDeleteKurt Russell's character was a regular guy who fell ass-backwards into a situation and tried to talk his way out of it, and when that didn't work he just resorted to desperate hand-to-hand tactics and had help from a few friends.
ReplyDeleteThe Rock is a huge guy who looks like he can kick ass. Plus, the original film had a charm and chemistry between all involved. You can't duplicate that just by refilming it.
That's true. What is also true is that movie studios could actually, you know......create something new.
ReplyDeleteRemakes have always been around.
ReplyDeleteUgh.. CGI gremlins that break dance and rap.. double ugh..
ReplyDeleteThe second Invasion of the Body Snatchers is the best.
ReplyDeleteAnd now Vacation??? Fuck hollywood straight in the ass
ReplyDeleteRock was just fine as the musclebound, incompetent goof in that Pain & Gain flick
ReplyDeleteNo one's gonna argue that the worst remake of all time, hands down, was 2002's Rollerball, right?
ReplyDeleteThis is a fact. However, I do think they're funded more in Hollywood now than ever before.
ReplyDeleteDidn't they basically already do that joke in "The Rundown"?
ReplyDeleteGoogle is your friend.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.wwe.com/shows/raw/2011-10-31/what-was-cmpunk-wearing-for-halloween
At the time, Russel was indeed believable as ass-kicking action hero thanks to Escape from New York and The Thing. The central joke fueling BTiLC was that the audience would expect Russell to kick ass, but in reality his character was a useless buffoon, and Dennis Dun, the Asian "sidekick" was actually the movie's hero. Carpenter thinks the reason the movie bombed was that the audience missed the joke and exited disappointed instead of laughing.
ReplyDeleteWith Asian movies and styles being much more mainstream now than in 1986, I'm wondering if that part of the gag would still work today. I do think Rock as the hero-who-really-isn't would work just fine, however.
I don't really care if it is Punk's favorite movie who gives a fuck what he thinks. Its a movie if people don't want to see the remakes that destroy their childhoods nobody is making them.Stay away from it, pretend it didn't happen, whatever and move on with your life. I'm looking forward to it. Its something different and The Rock certainly has the comedy chops to make for some fun dialogue.
ReplyDeleteAs the resident BOD biggest fan of that movie, fuck the remake in every possible way.
ReplyDeleteThat is all.
I'd throw "so far" in there.
ReplyDeleteOn the one hand, remakes are EVIL.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, THE ROCK!
I wonder if this flick would work if they dropped the "Burton's the comic sidekick who thinks he's the hero" idea and went with 2 competent heroes. Picture Rock and, say, Jet Li working together to deal with Lo Pan.
Ew. They couldn't do another sequel? I mean, yeah, Gremlins 2 was shit, but still.
ReplyDeleteProblem is when they DO make something new, nobody goes to see it
ReplyDeletethis. for example: I refuse to acknowledge those faux Star Wars movies that came out at the end of the 90s and in the 2000s.
ReplyDeleteJames Hong died a year or two ago I believe. R.I.P.D. was his last movie.
ReplyDeleteDios. That's worse than Raul Julia's last flick being the Street Fighter disaster.
ReplyDeleteThe recent-isn Wolfman reboot's gotta be near the top of that list.
ReplyDeleteThe Rock is completely believable as the trash-talker who gets in over his head, as evidenced by his entire 1998-99 heel run against Austin. I think he'd be a great choice as Jack Burton if they chose to remake the film, though really, I'd prefer to just have the original left as perfect as it is.
ReplyDeleteSort of...but it was just the one guy. This would be a BUNCH of little guys so it would be that much funnier.
ReplyDeleteTotal recall, how do you fuck up something with kate beckensale AND Jessica beil.
ReplyDeleteExactly. The audio commentary by Russell and Carpenter is a great listen as they say the point is Burton's not the hero of this story, he's the sidekick who THINKS he's the hero and that's why it works so well.
ReplyDeleteBut.... Paul Haymen and Shane-o-mac.
ReplyDeleteI still say Rock should be Johnny Bravo. His early heel work should be enough of an audition.
ReplyDeleteI think Cary Tagawa is the go to guy for "evil old Asian man", while Marc Dascasos is the go to guy for "evil middle aged Asian man".
ReplyDeleteHow is a remake something different?
ReplyDeleteApart from Faster Rocks movies are generally weak. I just don't see how he hasn't been the centre of some new action franchise considering his charisma and looks. The Red Letter Media guys made a good point when they talked about how he overshadowed Vin Diesel in the latest Fast movie, yet he hasn't got a Riddick like vehicle. It's like how nobody has cast Steve Austin as a Stone Cold style character in a low budget action comedy and instead he keeps being some gruff emotionally challenged dullard.
ReplyDeleteThey used to actually make them as if they were new movies, now they just rush them out, slap on some cgi and trust the name to sell it for them.
ReplyDeleteLet's see how the Ballers TV show works out on HBO, because it looks kind of awesome.
ReplyDeleteFor David Lo Pan....how about the guy who played Mr. Wu in Deadwood?
ReplyDelete