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The SmarK Rant for TNA Impact–11.22.12

The SmarK Rant for TNA Impact – 11.22.12

Taped from Orlando, FL

Your hosts are Mike Tenay, Todd Keneley & Taz

Gut Check Challenge: Wes Brisco v. Garrett Bischoff

They trade wrestling stuff on the mat to start and Kurt Angle comes out to mentor Brisco. Both guys try a dropkick and miss, and Bischoff takes him down with a sloppy headlock. Man, Bischoff is just not getting better. Slugfest and Brisco gets a neckbreaker for one, but Bischoff clotheslines him and goes to a chinlock. Brisco uses a devastating spinning body attack of some sort for two, and Bischoff cradles him for two. Brisco comes back with a rolling cradle, however, to become the first Gut Check guy to actually win the match. This was total amateur hour, as they were messing up simple stuff and there was no flow to it at all. ½*

Joey Ryan v. Chavo Guerrero

Having lost his challenge for the X title, Ryan has already moved onto challenging for the tag titles now. So he calls out Chavo, and exchanges fisticuffs in the corner to start. Chavo hits a senton and pounds away with forearms, but Ryan hits him in the shoulder from behind to take over. Nice dropkick gets two and he goes to a neck vice, but Chavo makes the comeback. Headscissors and slingshot senton set up the triple suplex, but Matt Morgan walks in for the DQ at 3:49. I like how the ref let him hold Chavo in the air for a minute yelling at the crowd, before calling for the DQ once the chokeslam was actually executed and Chavo hit the mat. It’s like Hebner was waiting to see how the situation played out before making any decisions. *1/2 Not exactly an impressive start to Joey Ryan’s TNA career thus far.

Sam Shaw v. Alex Silva

Silva attacks right away and gets a backdrop. Sam Shaw’s gear makes him look like a backyard wrestler. It’s kind of embarrassing. Silva elbows him down and hits a corner clothesline, then pounds on the neck and goes to the chinlock. Shaw no-sells a backdrop and spears Silva down before coming back with dropkicks and the Orton backbreaker. Legdrop from the top finishes at 4:00. And now both guys can disappear for another six months. *

Meanwhile, Eric Young asks Hogan to reinstate the Turkey Suit Challenge this year. Hulk tells him to go nuts.

Meanwhile, the Aces & Eights choose their next target.

Christian York v. Jeff Hardy

Hardy elbows him down, and York holds a wristlock and throws kicks to put Hardy down. And we take a break without even having someone thrown out of the ring! Back with Hardy missing a bodypress, allowing York to put him down with a short clothesline for two. High knee gets two. Hardy gets the mule kick, but misses a charge, and York goes up. He misses, but keeps coming with a half nelson suplex and rolling attack in the corner. He wraps up Hardy in an armbar, but Jeff gets the ropes right away. York misses a charge, but counters the Twist into his own and gets two. Hardy fights out of a suplex and reverses to the front suplex, but goes up and gets caught by York. Hardy fights off the superplex attempt and hits the sunset bomb, and finally makes the comeback. Twist of Fate and Swanton put him away at 10:45. They gave York a TON of offense here and made him look like the real deal, which makes it all the stupider that he did that job to Zema Ion. ***1/4 And after showing respect to York, both guys get laid out by Bobby Roode.

Taeler Hendrix v. Tara

Tara and Jesse now have matching outfits, which is pretty awesome. Tara outwrestles Taeler and gets a quick massage from Jesse, then tosses her around by the hair and clubs her down. Taeler interrupts a makeout session to come back with a small package for two and Blue Thunder bomb. Taeler slugs away and gets a bodypress for two, but stops to yell at Jesse. High kick gets two. Tara puts her down with a knee and finishes with the Widow’s Peak at 4:15. Taeler’s goofy selling was kind of distracting but this was a fine squash for Tara otherwise. *1/2

Turkey Suit Challenge: Eric Young v. Jesse v. Robbie E

Loser wears the turkey suit. My god, why wouldn’t you save a money match like this for PPV? Young clotheslines both guys, but Jesse attacks from behind and gets a dropkick. The heels team up for a flapjack on Young, but argue over who gets the pin and break up. Why would it matter who wins? Anyway, Young comes back with the belly to belly on Robbie for two, and the chicks roll around to distract the ref. Jesse tries to finish with the stunner, but Young rolls him up for the pin at 3:22 instead. Just a comedy match. * Jesse does at least man up and wears the suit. And then Young takes the weekly A&8 beatdown to write him out of TNA.

Kazarian v. AJ Styles

Kaz grabs a headlock and a rollup for two, but AJ turns it into a backslide for two. Kaz cradles for two, but AJ comes back with a dropkick and headscissor takedown. AJ with a backbreaker, but Kaz goes to the eyes and puts him down with a clothesline. Gut wrench gets two. Kaz suplexes him onto the top and then punts him to the floor to set up some Gangnam Style. He’s no Curry Man, sadly. AJ comes back with a spinkick, but Kaz springboards in with a DDT to put him down again. AJ blocks a charge with a sunset flip, which Kaz blocks for two, but AJ rolls him up for two. Pele Kick gets the pin at 5:21. Good to see he’s recovering from that devastating one loss in a row he suffered. **3/4

Austin Aries calls out Hogan. Brooke Hogan, that is. Not for a fight, but just for a talk. He points out that Brooke probably wouldn’t want to take Bully Ray’s name in marriage, and in the spirit of Thanksgiving offers to give her a good stuffing instead. Bully chases him off, and that’s the show.

The Pulse

To say this was not much of a show would be an understatement, but no one’s watching anyway. Next week, back to live again!

Comments

  1. I follow TNA, but it was a holiday, and a taped show I read spoilers to earlier this week since I knew I would miss it. I actually don't think it was such a bad idea to trot out the Gut Check guys and girl on a throwaway show that few would watch after eating all day and a football game on. Gets them some TV time so they can be evaluated on how they do in that situation past those first match jitters during there individual challenges, plus if they have terrible matches, as the review seems to indicate outside of York, so be it, no one will really be tuned in. I see what may be their reasoning in giving Brisco the win, as his rumored involvement in Aces & 8's means he needs to be built up some, and it seems as if Angle's involvement as a psuedo-mentor to him is foreshadowing the opportunity for the next member reveal. I'm glad to see the Bully Ray babyface run go on, as he has done so well as a single during his heel run, give him a chance to show if he can play both sides well. If he does great, then put the belt around his waist and finally achieve what WWE couldn't do when they split the Dudleyz during the first draft and make him a superstar. Eric Young being attacked by the gang as the write-off for his exit is to me actually a smart move. They hand out these beatings enough and most the guys just pop back up in a week or so. Now you've got The Pope out for a while, "at the hands of Aces & 8's", and Young won't be on-scren again, so it does give them a bit more credibility that they can put guys out. Still not seeing the endgame here, but I am still holding out hope it leads somewhere, and I don't even mind the drawn out nature, as I'm old-school in my love of angles that don't play out in four weeks just to build up a new one. We don't get a lot of long-running stories anymore, just "tension" that never ends such as Cena and Punk. The only thing that would cause the angle to jump the shark for me would be for the group to just peter-out kind of like the nWo, with no real definative end we can point to and say, "this date, this match, that's when it was all over". I'd like to see some more bad stuff from Aces leading to a few PPV matches of members of them against various TNA guys in singles for a bit, then one final big blow-off match that TNA wins to end the group and give them satisfaction. Maybe a King of the Mountain variant, as I as I actually miss that match.

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  2. Tell us how you really feel..

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  3. At the time I was quite surprised that WWE released Wes Brisco beit who his father is. I'm now no longer surprised. In fact I actually judge them for not cutting him sooner. My god, he looked absolutely hideous during that match. Like they just took some random schmuck off the street and told him he'd be competing in Gutcheck.

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  4. Caliber_Winfield_69420BoobiesNovember 23, 2012 at 4:23 AM

    I'll never understand the hate EY gets. He's damn funny. Just ad-libbing "I care about you, Hulk" as he leaves, for absolutely no reason. I also dig the fact I was right that he's definitely on some sort of anabolic because of how cut & solid he looks, as I saw the acne on his upper back. Sure, some people just have that, but EY is definitely a lucky bastard who's on the juice. Hulk may want to be EY when he grows up, I just want his drugs.

    Robbie E is also pretty funny. And I really hope Joey Ryan gets his skills in check, because his gimmick is fucking flawless.

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  5. TNA knew the ratings for the show would be bad regardless of what they did, so they just gave most of the roster a break and put developmental wrestlers and the wrestlers at the very bottom of the card in their place.

    Jeff Hardy made Christian York look like a star, they advanced the storyline for the Final Resolution main event, EY was (hopefully) eliminated permanently by the Aces and Eights (if he comes back, he needs a drastic gimmick change) and they set up a storyline that probably leads to the 2nd Austin Aries VS Bully Ray match. The Impact Zone may have been into the show more because they were watching matches they haven't seen dozens of times already (TNA has very few options for fresh matches that are A) good and B) don't involve Austin Aries).

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  6. He's 5'10", I'm surprised he lasted as long as he did in developmental, too!

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  7. I challenge anyone to find a match in of the "big leagues" that has two guys with tattoos as bad as Brisco's and Bischoff's. I can't decide what looks more ridiculous between Bischoff's "gas station attendant" name badge on his pecs or whatever the hell Brisco has wrapped around his back. And if I'm not mistaken, it looks like Brisco has a tattoo necklace as well.

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  8. Caliber_Winfield_69420BoobiesNovember 23, 2012 at 6:54 AM

    Yeah, Bischoff is TERRIBLE. I mean, his gimmick is so fucking corny. The ol 'plucky babyface who's father may be evil, but that's my FATHER, I'm my own man! Who wrestles in track pants!"

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  9. Yeah, for the longest time I've been wondering how a guy with a good look and big name could have flunked out of developmental, the place that produced JINDER MAHAL without cutting him, and then the match happened and I was like "Ohhhhh. I see."


    Also, Wes looks like a tool unmasked. The Pillman Junior look he has with the hood on works much better for him and he should just stick with that, because his knob of hair as a babyface makes him look like even more of a douchebag than his tattoos do.

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  10. I'd have to argue that I think Bischoff had something to do with that, he was blown up a minute or two in to the match (ie. where it all started falling apart).

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  11. "I care about you, Hulk!" really got me. So f'n funny. I don't understand the hate, either. Santino doesn't get as much jipp as this guy!

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  12. Another reason I hate Hardy as champ is how better talent has to move aside for him. Aries had to turn heel and Storm had to look like a dumbass and lose his shot so there would be a heel to face Jeff.

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  13. Yeh, I can't help but feel he'd work better as a heel. He's got that look about him, hasn't he? Bit of a schmuck.

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  14. Yeah, but for every good line EY gets off there are hours of bad "comedy". Though I did kinda chuckle at the turkey pecking ODB's boobs as the were walking out.

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  15. And Hardy's incredible run of good matches this year continues. Who is this guy and where's the real Jeff Hardy?

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  16. I just realized, is Eric Young's gimmick that he's Bugsy McGraw? Because he's starting to look like the fucker. It's weird.

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  17. I feel bad that EY had to go out this way. For all the years he put into TNA, he deserved better than to go out having to put over the dying Aces & Eights angle.

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  18. I'm also amazed with York's end of that match. He could be just as good a comeback story as Hardy if they tried to go that way.

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  19. Magnus starts to gain momentum as a heel and Eric Young starts to get entertaining again and both are suddenly written off by the godawful Aces & Eights. So should I just expect anybody starting to gain a modicum steam to get written out any day now with a ballpeen hammer?

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  20. It's the giant block of text that caused me to bail before the first sentence ended. Everyone knows that I can't exactly rip people for long-winded responses, but at least break that shit up into paragraphs.

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  21. I love seeing a rant that long that is completely positive

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  22. I think Magnus is involved in some sort of reality show project over in the UK. I read that somewhere. Might've been on here.

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  23. I will say that he's seemed to get his crap together. Have there been ANY incidents since he came off suspension? I haven't even heard of problems with him being late.

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  24. Sorry bout the one long block. I should have done paragraphs. I will make sure to do a better structure when I do long comments.

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  25. They're both leaving for short periods of time to film outside projects. They needed time off, they both had heat, so they were used to advance the Aces and 8s storyline. The Young segment in particular was an awesome old school

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  26. Even if he wasn't only being pushed because he's the son of a promoter, even if he wasn't terrible, Garrett Bishoff is still bland. There's nothing about him that makes him worth watching.

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  27. A nothing holiday show, nothing offensive, but nothing too right home about

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