The SmarK RAW Rant – 12.10.12
Is it me, or should TLC have been called Armageddon this year like it used to be? They could have Mayan death matches and stuff.
To the mailbag!
“Forget Punk!
What if Dolph Ziggler was the leader of the shield? It makes sense. He has vickys backing to do whatever he wants (despite that she has less say LATELY)...He is an internet darling that gets screwed left and right. If the Shield really was to protect "justice" Dolph Ziggler would be their number one client”
I like the cut of your jib, sir.
Live from East Rutherford, NJ
Your hosts are Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler
Dolph Ziggler is out on a ladder, talking about how Cena has blown title shot after title shot, until Vince stepped in and gifted Cena yet another shot with their match at the PPV. Sheamus interrupts, smiling and joking as usual. He thinks that it’s more like to be himself against Cena for the title, which draws boos from the crowd. Interesting, but I guess the Jersey crowd would like Ziggler better. Big Show comes out and would love to smash his ignorant immigrant face in, but can’t due to contractual reasons. Welcome to the era of badass heels who play by the mandated rules. So Sheamus pushes Ziggler off his ladder since he can’t touch Show. What a dick. This “no contact” stuff is so stupid, since they’re working house shows together anyway, plus it makes both guys look like wusses. If they hate each other so much, the belt shouldn’t matter. Be a man and beat the other guy up already!
Vince McMahon introduces Vickie Guerrero, and bullies her into making Sheamus v. Dolph Ziggler tonight so he can job to the Brogue Kick yet again. And AJ v. Vickie tonight as well.
R-Truth v. Wade Barrett
Wade tosses him immediately and runs him into the apron, and back in the ring for two. Truth gets a fluke rollup for the pin at 1:51. This was nothing. ½*
Meanwhile, AJ is so excited that she bursts into the men’s locker room to tell Cena, and he’s so EMBARRASSED. Oh, the HILARITY.
#1 Contender match: The Usos v. The Primetime Players v. The Rhodes Scholars v. Epico & Primo
So the winners of this will face Rey & Sin at the PPV in a tables match to determine who will then get a title shot in the future. It must be exhausting to be the poor guys who have to come up with this stuff. The Colons work over an Uso for a while to start, and that’s pretty boring. Then he comes back with the flying splash and pins Primo at 3:10, so guess it’s elimination. We take a break, and a Player gets eliminated during the commercial! Apparently this aired on the WWE app, which is useless for us in Canada because the show isn’t live. So we’re down to the Usos and Scholars, and the Usos double-team Sandow, but Rhodes comes in to turn the tide, and Sandow drops the ELBOW OF DISDAIN for two. The crowd mocks Cody’s moustache and the Uso makes the hot tag to the other Uso, who hits the Cheeks of Fire on Cody for two. They fight on top and the flying splash hits knee this time, and the Crossroads finishes at 11:00. That was pretty much a fait accompli, although the crowd was REALLY into the Usos for some reason. **
Eve Torres v. Alicia Fox
Eve works a headlock but Fox comes back with a headscissors after an awkward sequence and gets a northern lights suplex for two. Backbreaker gets two. Eve pulls her down from the top and finishes with her neckbreaker at 2:29. Eve then poses for the photographer over the fallen Fox, which is a funny bit. ½*
CM Punk is out with his crutches to assure us that, yes, it was a real knee injury he suffered and he’s not just ducking Ryback. He starts taking shots at the Rock already, pointing out that he doesn’t need a stunt double, and he’s NOT AFFILIATED WITH THE SHIELD.
Sheamus v. Dolph Ziggler
Yes, it’s the first of our three equally important main events tonight. Sheamus works the knee right away and gets a kneecrusher for two, then elbows him down as the crowd gets behind Ziggler. Sheamus continues working the knee in the corner, but Ziggler comes back with a dropkick and they brawl out as we take a break. Back with the crowd doing dueling chants for Ziggler while Sheamus bails to recover from a chinlock. Back in, Ziggler with a neckbreaker for two. Another chinlock, but Sheamus comes back with clotheslines before hitting the corner on a charge. Ziggler gets two with the ropes, and an armbreaker gets two. Sheamus catches him with a fallaway slam and gets the forearms, but goes up and gets crotched. They fight on top, and Ziggler brings him down with an X-Factor for two. Sheamus tries the cloverleaf, but Ziggler gets the ropes, so Sheamus gets the backbreaker for two. Ziggler ducks the Brogue Kick and uses a chair for the DQ at 14:22. About time someone used one of those chairs around the ring. And as usual, Sheamus blasts him with the Brogue Kick when all is said and done. Why do 15 minutes for THAT finish? Match was good, starting dull but building as the crowd got behind Ziggler. ***
Meanwhile, Vickie is caught in a compromising position with Khali and Hornswoggle. OH THE HILARITY.
The Shield cuts a promo from their own camera, laying down the injustices they’re righting. Holy shit does Dean Ambrose sound like a star. Whatever “it” is, he’s got it. If he can back it up in the ring when he debuts, he’ll get the rocket strapped to his ass.
Alberto Del Rio v. Zack Ryder
Zack pounds away in the corner and gets two, and goes to a chinlock. Whoa, that’s OFFENSE. Del Rio puts him down with a shot to the back and goes to his own chinlock, and a backbreaker gets two. Running kick in the corner gets two. Aaaaaand, we go back to the chinlock. Zack comes back with a sunset flip for two, but Del Rio gets the german suplex for two. Double axehandle gets two. And we go to ANOTHER chinlock. Zack backdrops him to the floor and makes the comeback with the Broski boot, but ADR counters it into the armbreaker and Ryder taps as usual at 6:33. Neither guy even has a program right now, what was the point of this besides filling time? *
AJ Lee v. Vickie Guerrero
It’s the second of our main events tonight, and Brad Maddox is appointed referee for some reason. So Vickie attacks and chokes her out on the ropes, but AJ snaps and Vickie bails. AJ hauls her back in and goes for the pin, but EVIL REFEREE Brad Maddox won’t count. And then Vickie uses the Diva version of the Tiger Driver ’91, the rollup, for the pin instead. Yeah, this was pretty horrible. -*** And since they spent the whole show putting over how this is AJ’s hometown, could you expect any other finish? AJ has a screaming fit at ringside over doing a job on TV, which I guess makes her the new version of Shawn Michaels.
Antonio Cesaro v. Kofi Kingston
The boring mix-and-match booking continues tonight. Cesaro is winning on Sunday and Kofi is losing, so I’m guessing Kofi wins here. Cesaro works on the arm and takes Kofi down after a headlock, but Kofi slugs back in the corner. Kofi springboards with a forearm, but Cesaro necksnaps him on the top rope and double-stomps him for two. This crowd is obviously burned out after two hours. Cesaro chokes away in the corner and drops an elbow for two. Kofi makes the comeback, but runs into an elbow as we TAKE A BREAK?!? Jesus, it’s 1:00AM as I’m watching this and I wanna go to bed, just end this borefest already. Back with Cesaro holding a bearhug, but Kofi gets a sunset flip for two. Cesaro slams him down MMA-style for two. Gutwrench gets two. Cole talks about how Cesaro only uses free weights in the gym as if that’s supposed to mean anything to anyone who isn’t HHH. Cesaro goes to another bearhug as the crowd gets really bored with the match, but Kofi gets a weird bodypress for two. Cesaro reverses the SOS with an uppercut for two. Another SOS gets two as Cesaro grabs the ropes. Kofi misses a blind charge, but goes up with the bodypress, which Cesaro catches for a backbreaker. NEUTRALIZER finishes at 14:18. This just kept GOING. *1/2
Miz TV features the Rhodes Scholars, or as Miz calls them, the “Beardo and the Weirdo.” Holy god turn this guy heel again already. Miz makes gay jokes and then laughs at his own material in obnoxious fashion, as well as making up LIES about dissention between the Scholars. And then he declares them “The Pink and the Stink” to finish. Holy shit this last hour is just destroying my soul bit by bit. I can only imagine how crappy the ratings are gonna be.
John Cena v. Big Show
Oh god, we’ve still got 20 minutes left, so we’re gonna be here for a while. Hey remember when John Cena was DESPERATE to win Money In The Bank because Big Show as champion would be the death knell for the company? And now Show has been World champion for two months and Cena apparently doesn’t care. Anyway, Cena tries a sleeper by jumping on Show’s back and puts him down for two. An FU attempt backfires, and of course we take a break. Back with Show getting a spear for two. And then a bearhug as this show has ground me down into submission. So Cena makes his comeback, but walks into a chokeslam that gets two for Show. Cena counters the punch with the FU…and here’s the Shield for the DQ at 15:03. Yeah, this was something that happened. * And then FINALLY things pick up with a big wacky brawl with the guys who are, you know, in the main event for Sunday finally appearing at the very end of the show, and Ryback THROWS A LADDER IN THE SHIELD’S FACES in a crazy spot before everyone gets into a giant fight to end the show. I wish anything else on the show would have had that kind of energy.
The Pulse
Damien Sandow was awesome in telling off the Miz.
That’s what I got for this week.
Also, while I'm thinking about it, what happened to AJ and Cena being all hot and heavy for each other? Now AJ's a crazy stalker again and Cena's like "Ha ha, dig this wacky chick all into me." And then she'll cost him the briefcase by being an interfering CRAZY WOMAN and he'll be all mad at her for a week before going back to laughing about stuff when they forget about that too. And is Vickie no longer concerned with their affair? Why did we spend, what, a month of storylines watching Vickie present evidence that didn't lead to anything?
ReplyDeleteI think the Shield needs to powerbomb this storyline.
I said in the live thread that the Shield attacking Cena makes no sense, because Punk's long since moved on from Cena. But if ZIGGLER is the guy behind the Shield? Well, that would make a lot more sense, wouldn't it?
ReplyDelete"Cole talks about how Cesaro only uses free weights in the gym as if that’s supposed to mean anything to anyone who isn’t HHH."
ReplyDeleteTriple H can pay for his weights, tss tss.
Best thing about this show? CODY'S MUSTACHE! Seriously, the crowd was awesome for chanting that. Good to see Cody back as he is one of my favorite wrestlers right now. Though he hasn't been doing as much since his awesome run in 2011, he's still extremely talented and there are worse ways to use him than teaming with Sandow. Rhodes Scholars owning the Miz was pretty great too.
ReplyDeleteI was wondering where the hell Ryback was all night. The finish was pretty sweet. Hot crowd too.
I like Cesaro but lord has he been pretty boring since he's debuted. His character is pretty bad, and his matches have been hit or miss. I don't think he's had a match that I'd even qualify as "very good" and his match with Kofi tonight was a snoozer.
Loved the Shield promo. It had a unique feel to it. Almost like those NWO promos when they first debuted. And Ambrose was awesome yet again. "BRING TABLES! BRING LADDERS! BRING CHAIRS. The Shield brings the sword" Awesome. Hope he brings it in the ring. And I hope they deliver in their match on Sunday.
Luckily I missed most of this storyline. The thing that baffles me is this: Vickie accuses them of a relationship(which why would that be punishable? Vickie's done it twice) which they repeatedly deny. So what's their solution to prove her wrong? KISS IN FRONT OF HER! You give 100 monkeys 1 week to write a feud and I guarantee it makes more sense than this one.
ReplyDelete"For England, Umaga?"
ReplyDelete"No.....FA'SAMOAAAAAAA!"
*samoan spikes Trevelyan off antenna*
Punk still hates Cena though, so why not continue to fuck him up?
ReplyDeleteOh, and good Superman comeback, jobber, that was certainly two heavyweights battling to the end (my fucking RBs did me in, as was Brady embarrassing Houston without involving Welker). I think I still get the #1 seed by having more total points if my math is right, but we're both getting byes into round 2 unless the settings changed.
ReplyDeleteEither way, what I'm saying is this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPG-6FmAfDg
This sounds awful.
ReplyDelete"Cole talks about how Cesaro only uses free weights in the gym as if that’s supposed to mean anything to anyone who isn’t HHH."
ReplyDeleteThis actually was interesting to me. Almost all strength trainers tell you to only use free weights to build muscle and strength but once you reach a certain level of strength you can start getting big benefits by adding machines to your routine for better hypertrophy and for aesthetics also (shape your muscles). If he REALLY did get that physique on just free weights he has some incredible genetics.
I have a feeling it was just a line fed to Cole to explain his strength as freeweight/bodyweight lifters will have a higher degree of functional strength than machine users.
I have been waiting and waiting and waiting for them to bring Dean Ambrose up. I've seen some of his promos from FCW/NXT and he is absolute gold. But yeah, if you're wondering if he can back it up in the ring? Don't worry. He can.
ReplyDeleteI really want to see Ambrose on Raw, but I see sitting through three hours of this akin to trying to pan for gold in a river of shit.
ReplyDeleteScott, I think you undersold Cesaro catching Kofi in mid-air with that sick backbreaker. That was a cool display of power there, at least.
ReplyDeleteMiz is supposed to be a babyface, right? Because I was rooting for Sandow and Rhodes to beat the shit out of him, Horseman style.
Speaking of all things WCW, that was definitely a Nitro like ending. Only thing missing was Sting coming down from the rafters as the show went off the air.
Yeah, I mean, even if it went over 99% of the fans heads, at least Cole was A) talking about the wrestler and B) putting him over in an unique manner.
ReplyDeleteI'm not exactly a 98 pound weakling (nor am I Mr. Olympia, but I do try to workout everyday and know a little bit about what it takes to get certain types of bigness) but if Cesaro has a phenomenal body (all of the homo) Triple H should be all over that guy. And I believe he doesn't use much weights, he doesn't have the bodybuilder look of a Hogan/Warrior, he looks like what rugby/football players look like.
Eh...I like the Dark Knight too, but it was 4 years ago and I think it's time to move on.
ReplyDeleteNot only that but you can get shredded using machines too. Granted, it's easier to put on mass using free weights for most muscle groups, but nothing's going to beat a lat pulldown or pulley push down for the lats and triceps, respectively. Pretentious body builders who have decided their system is the only system really piss me off.
ReplyDeleteSomehow, the WWE continues to lower the bar with its female characters. I don't know what Vince's mom did to him but...damn, it must have been bad.
ReplyDeleteTHERE HE IS!.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXMd8Kv4jH0
ReplyDeleteMuch like Rachel/Joey, it's a long dragged-out arc that no one asked for, that dies a quick death, and winds up meaning jack shit in the end.
ReplyDeleteThe sick backbreaker from Cesaro, Sandow's shtick and Cody's Stache were the only positives on this show. Everything else was painfully cheesy or repetitive.
ReplyDeleteJust because you say so, doesn't make it true.
ReplyDeleteMan, you go to a gym, and anyone lifting weights there thinks their system is the ONLY system.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing Cesaro will get from not using machines is that his stabilizer muscles will be stronger.
I love me some machines. Gets that form down SOLID.
Whatever, I'm just down voting because of the apostrophe in your second "it's."
ReplyDeleteI couldn't imagine just using free weights. I dig'em and all, and of course use them for biceps, and such, but I do High Intensity Training. I only work out once, MAYBE twice a week, for only 20 minutes a session. I use some heavy weight, and isolation exercises before compound. So, let's say I'd do chest flies then immediately go into bench press. You also lift really slow. 4 seconds up, hold for 2 seconds, lower for 4 seconds. When you lift like that, and you hit 7 or 8 reps, your muscles are toast, and with free weights is impossible to keep strict form and keep going, so machines work brilliantly. Also, since I work alone, going to absolute failure on something like bench is best with machines, because if my muscles give out, I don't drop the shit on my neck.
ReplyDeleteWho's your favorite bodybuilder, Phred?
Is the Shield Superboy Prime with the Retcon punch!?
ReplyDeleteBOOK IT
^cuz thats awesome.
ReplyDeleteGOD I LOVED ME SOME WCW!!!
ReplyDeleteWhich would make sense as Cesaro's backstory is supposed to be one of a rugby player kicked out for rough play.
ReplyDeleteDamn you're right. You have 48 more points than me. Guess I am the 2 seed. See you in the finals
ReplyDeleteFucking homerun chippah
ReplyDeleteWhatever... BRO DO YOU EVEN LIFT?
ReplyDeleteDolph Ziggler is being forced to defend his Money in the Bank briefcase against a guy who has already cashed in and lost. That is injustice, and The Shield responded accordingly. Doesn't mean Dolph is their leader.
ReplyDeleteIt has been a long time since I've disagreed more with a match's rating than the one given to Kingston v Cesaro. That was a great match and really made Cesaro look like a star. *** easy.
And holy crap, how over is Ryback right now? Say what you will about WWE, they absolutely understand when something is working. Replacing CM Punk with The Shield in the main event of TLC was absolutely the right move, if only because it means Ryback can now get a PPV main event win (not saying he'll get it, but Punk retaining was a foregone conclusion). And it debuts Ambrose in the main event. When's the last time that's happened?
Are you f'ing kidding me? Did you miss the part where Caliber eats five-pound steaks and bench presses exponentially growing amounts between every sentence in his BOD reviews? I would almost equate him to Chuck Norris if I wasn't pretty sure I'm getting roundhouse kicked to hell for even entertaining the thought.
ReplyDeleteIf the Shield has to have a leader, I'm hoping for the Rock myself.
ReplyDeletePfft whatevz, that shit was funny.
ReplyDeleteThat's like the Hulk being in Warbound. It may be interesting for awhile but he doesn't need it...he's the Hulk.
ReplyDeleteThe roll up being the Diva version of Tiger Driver '91 about had me doubled over with laughter , especially thinking of Japanese announcers calling the Diva matches.
ReplyDelete"SHITTY ROLLUP!"
I wouldn't have to watch the show on mute if Eddie Guerrero had seen his cardiologist on time.
ReplyDeletePoint, but it got the rest of that team over by association.
ReplyDeleteDamn, why can't Greg Pak be a booker?
Why are we supposed to dislike Antonio Cesaro? Because he speaks multiple languages? He feels like one of Vince's old school heels that we're supposed to boo because he's not American.
ReplyDeleteI think the idea is that Cena didn't know what he was getting into (giggity). And as canon insists that he's a "normal guy," his intentions were pure, etc., but now AJ's freaking out, because Women, AMIRITE? There's also a hint of David Cassidy-kayfabe here; you can't have the lead babyface paired off for too long, because he's not an accessible fantasy to the fanbase at that point.
ReplyDeleteCompare that with a character like Punk, who, being both a more recent heel and already somewhat "weird" because he has tats and likes fandom-related stuff, is better-equipped to deal with this sort of thing ("I dig crazy chicks").
You're not supposed to dislike him because he speaks five languages. You're supposed to dislike him because he insults you in multiple languages.
ReplyDeleteThis is getting another 2.5. First two hours were so terrible that it had to fall badly in the third hour.
ReplyDeleteAJ is HORRIBLE. They need to drop any storylines related to her and have her go back to the divas division. Hell, give her the divas title but just leave her out of major parts of the companies business. She isn't a draw, she will never a draw. Having her pop up five times a night is freaking ridiculous.
So he's based off PSY? Meh.
ReplyDeleteA Lyle Chipperson reference? On MY blog of doom?
ReplyDelete^for shitting on Cal
ReplyDeleteI LOVE THE WARBOUND... Except Miek and Elloe...
ReplyDeleteThumbs down because I liked Rachel and Joey together, though that could be because of my inherent hate of Ross.
ReplyDeleteHate to beat the dead horse, but this Shield thing (once they reveal a leader) lends itself to "WarGames" against a Ryback-led team.
ReplyDeleteIs there a more unlikeable "face" than Miz right now? He is terrible in this role.
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to figure out what demo he is supposed to appeal to and I'm drawing a blank.
ReplyDeleteDouchebag frat boys with fauxhawks?
ReplyDeleteSo no wrestling character can ever borrow from pop culture. Wow, that's a dumb opinion and then you follow it up by calling the board "motherfuckers", lol, where's Chin to set you straight, ha ha.
ReplyDelete"If they hate each other so much, the belt shouldn’t matter. Be a man and beat the other guy up already!"
ReplyDeleteNow, come on. We complain about the belts not meaning anything anymore but then you say this? Their refusal to touch each other shows how much they want to compete in a match for the world title, because both (especially Sheamus) want to walk away with it.
Totally brah.
ReplyDeleteThe cool demo. Your mama! OOOOoooohhhh.
ReplyDeleteHis act is so disjointed right now that it's hard to label the face turn--if it is a face turn--anything but a failure at this point. As you said before, he is like Cena-lite (like the majority of faces these days) on many levels--glib, pandering, and making jokes when the situation doesn't call for humor. I think he's trying to throw in some Piper-esque qualities, too, with cutting in with one-liners. His character really hasn't shown heart or integrity at this point, which are qualities fans can respect, at least.
It's kind of a muddled mess right now.
I know I'm going to get hate for this, but I gotta say it. I had the exact opposite reaction to the shield promo. It came off to me as now lite. And Ambrose hair tic is way distracting.
ReplyDeleteThreadjack
ReplyDeleteDid anyone see the released seating chart for TNA Lockdown ? mind = blown
We know, you think he's weird looking, that's how you decide whether you can take a pro wrestler serious or not, weird looking wrestlers = no buys for Dougie....old news. Move on. Blah blah blah.
ReplyDeleteHonored that my downvote will be the first of many.
ReplyDeleteHow about if the leader of The Shield is...Dean Ambrose? Why can't they be a group that is operating on their own terms instead of just another stable to protect another guy?
ReplyDeleteI havent been watching Raw lately, but has Cesaro been busting out the "United States of Antonio" promo he did for Tribute to the Troops?
ReplyDeleteI will never understand why you guys are so upset by differing opinions.
ReplyDeleteI just look at the three of them and see Reigns as the breakout star. He has the look and the pedigree.
TEACH ME HOW TO DOUGIE!
ReplyDeleteI'm not upset, shit, we're talking pro wrasslin'. I'm not going into this again and I said nothing abou Reins, I just repeated your opinion of how Ambrose is "weird looking" and you can't take him serious because of it.
ReplyDeleteThat... is terrible and a HUGE waste of money
ReplyDeleteI don't know... those "blah blah blah" comments from the previous post sounded deadly serious to me. Super serial
ReplyDeleteI'm already on record as saying that Reigns is going to be the guy to replace Cena. All he has to be is average in the ring, and he is going to be a star.
ReplyDeleteThat's a great point you make. I think Miz can be a good face, but he's not John Cena. This guy has obviously been a wrestling fan since he was a kid and it was his dream to be in WWE, starting out as a reality tv star then getting into wrestling, taking his lumps and beatings and continuing to persevere, that's a compelling story that all fans can get behind (as long as it isn't done in a ham-handed kind of way). But as long as they make him into Cena-lite, it's not gonna work.
ReplyDeleteI enjoy the way Sandow holds a microphone. And I think if people want a Cena heel turn, they should really get behind Miz as a face. Because he's the potential replacement.
ReplyDeleteTO SOON!
ReplyDeleteSandow is all kinds of awesome right now.
ReplyDeleteI would think Sheamus is a more likely replacement, but if we're going to be stuck with Miz...umm, go Super-Cena!!
Right. Miz can be a viable face. Maybe half the BoD disagrees, but he has the qualities to do it. This current act needs some major tweaking, though.
ReplyDeleteMiz is good with mainstream exposure.
ReplyDeleteThe smiley jokester is pretty grating. I don't know why they hate serious faces so much.
ReplyDeleteI just watched a match between Ambrose and William Regal in FCW and damn if it wasn't good. I don't know much about Ambrose but looks like he'll be ready to bring the goods in the ring this Sunday
ReplyDeleteJanuary: the Shield are in trouble - Cena about to put them away. A masked man comes into the ring and gives Cena what Cole will call an RKO. Off comes the mask, and it was an Ace Crusher all along! Big Johnny! Big Johnny!
ReplyDeleteI miss Big Johnny. A lot.
Or great.
ReplyDeleteYou can get shredded any way that effectively works muscle. I've grown to hate gyms for that reason. Also I'm a lazy fatass.
ReplyDeleteI have finally stopped dvring this show. I cannot take this show and this company's crappy booking anymore.
ReplyDeleteSounds like I didn't miss much.
Please wake me when Vince has to resort to booking like it was during the Monday Night Wars.
Wow...
ReplyDeleteWasn't the show last night from Newark, not East Rutherford?
ReplyDeleteI saw Ambrose wrestle in a dark match last year, and I wasn't overly impressed but he wasn't terrible or anything. What he seemed like on the mic though was a reincarnation of Roddy Piper. Dude's got personality to spare...I've definitely got my eye on him.
ReplyDeleteMan, you would never make it past the first round of interviews for a WWE writer position.
ReplyDeleteVince should buy all the available seats and fill them with cardboard cutouts of various WWE superstars.
ReplyDeleteHe looks like Jason Statham. Book him that way.
ReplyDeleteChuck Norris is a bitch. Now, if you want to compare me to JCVD, that would be much better.
ReplyDeleteHuh, and here I thought that people who talked in all caps were idiots.
ReplyDeleteWouldn't those guys be busy on a house show or something?
ReplyDeleteI don't know about you, but I think Ambrose does a great impersonation of Jim Gordon.
ReplyDeleteHe's a great worker. Definitely has held his own in the ring with DB and other dgusa guys.
ReplyDeleteI would sign a petition to bring Ace back on tv. He was the man.
ReplyDeleteYeah that whole angle was electric.
ReplyDeleteI can't wait for the post WM Sandow WHC push. It's going to be awesome
ReplyDeleteWhat? When Ross goes insane around the 5th season, he becomes fantastic. I had no beef with him beforehand, but when he goes nuts? It's gold, Jerry, gold!
ReplyDeleteWill this get more down votes than Phredrics anti Ambrose post? My guess, probably not since most people think this post is just trolling while Phredic actually meant his "dark knight was 4 years ago" rip. Still should be an interesting race.
ReplyDeleteLol, but dougie might catch you
ReplyDeleteOh come on, Rachel and Joey were perfect for each other. Ross was a dick.
ReplyDeleteBest sex of his life apparently.
ReplyDeleteApparently the Miz's mother post here...
ReplyDeleteI think his ring work makes him a better face but this current act makes me want to see him even less than before...which I didn't think was possible.
ReplyDeleteI see people are pissed about the PtP situation because they are over...No "they" aren't over. Titus is over. Darren Young is about as "over" as a school bus fire. Them losing could lead to a nasty breakup and the Titus push that we need.
ReplyDeleteHow was Ross a dick?
ReplyDeleteNope, sometimes they are just quoting popular interweb Memes
ReplyDeletehttp://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/26008310.jpg
Jesse Baker does not approve.
ReplyDeleteYour mother would but she's busy.
ReplyDeleteWait, so were you not being a douche towards me? If you weren't, I apologize. If you were, then...well, you've got a serious downvote in your future.
ReplyDeleteShiavone is our Jesus.
ReplyDeleteAgreed. If a McMahon's not behind it, you don't get the job. Also suitable, HHH or Rikishi.
ReplyDeleteI don't think they ever said where in Jersey it was, so I took a shot.
ReplyDelete"Why's isn't he being pushed, Dad?"
ReplyDelete"Because we have to punish him for getting over on his own."
"He didn't do anything wrong."
"Because he's the hero the BoD deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So they'll bury him. Because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian, a washrag protector. A black knight."
Only thing I liked about this show was Miz's suit jacket. I'll take the hits... I'd wear that...
ReplyDeleteHe cheated on Rachel, and he never owned up to it. Also, after bitching out Joey about having feelings for Rachel, he goes and steals Joey's woman.
ReplyDeleteAnd don't give me that "THEY WERE ON A BREAK" line either!
They should co-promote with AAA and hope to touch on the Latino fan base or try to rent the other 3/4 to TupperwareMania
ReplyDeleteI'm not going to lie, I would mark hard for Big Johnny being the leader of the Shield.
ReplyDeleteI know I may get downvoted here, but add me to the guys that do not understand what people see in Ambrose's promos. I even went and watched some of his old ones. Maybe we're just so starved for people with charisma that someone who shows even a small iota of it is the new BOD savior. I think Reigns will be the breakout one as well.
ReplyDeleteThe ironic thing would be the implication that Johnny Ace suddenly has an eye for talent.
ReplyDeleteLooks aren't everything, just ask Mason Ryan. Pedigree isn't everything, just ask Manu, Ted DiBiase Jr. and Michael McGilliwhatever.
ReplyDeleteWith Cesaro, they keep echoing his "no one from the US can beat me" deal.
ReplyDeleteSo.... who gets the triumphant victory upon returning? Christian? Maybe a shot in the dark and they push Tyson Kidd?
But they WERE on a break...
ReplyDeleteWe need good tag teams though. They need to stay together for a year or two first because they are awesome.
ReplyDeleteThey're not 100%. But look + pedigree is a huge advantage.
ReplyDeleteLol who's down voting this. Did you see how many empty seats they are gonna have??? Can't they book a smaller venue. Look TNA defenders, I watch Impact and buy ppv's to support TNA because I want there to be a 2nd major wrestling company, but shit like that is super bush league.
ReplyDeleteHe is suited to play a face in the ring for sure. My question is, with all the TV writers on the payroll, can't they give him a an actual face turn angle to get him over? And maybe write him some better lines?
ReplyDeleteNewark. Hometown (I was there last night), Yes, they need to end 3-hour Raws. It can be more tedious watching it live than on TV. The Kofi vs. Cesaro match sealed it for me, my friends, and the people around us who were getting restless going "Why is this match still dragging along this long?"
ReplyDeleteCena should just go back to Zack Ryder again. They got each other, man.
ReplyDeleteI take it by all the upvotes, this joke went over everyone's head. A giant *whoosh* for everyone!
ReplyDeleteMiek was comic relief, and Elloe was the team jump-off.
ReplyDeleteRAW was in Newark last night, not East Rutherford.
ReplyDeleteI reminded me of the tuxedo Jim Carrey wore in Dumb and Dumber.
ReplyDeleteHasn't written enough soap operas.
ReplyDeleteWith our luck as soon as he walks into RAW next week he'll get kidnapped and his heart stolen.
ReplyDelete"Made in the USA" Jack Swagger.
ReplyDeleteDid you pick 2 Canadians on purpose?
ReplyDeleteExactly, where is the sense in hiring a 60.000+ STADIUM for a 4.000 seating plan which will most likely draw about 10.000 - 11.000 PPV buys.
ReplyDeleteIt's not even super bush league as much as it's super dumb. Who ever runs their accounting department is probably shaking their head in disgust.
ReplyDeleteI picked two non-US people on purpose. I thought about adding Santino, but he's already lost that feud. Sure there are other people like Ezekiel Jackson, and Yoshi Tatsu, but aside from Justin Gabriel, A) anyone else is a heel and B), these are the only people the Universe would care about (Sin Cara's tied up with Rey for the time being; Sheamus is "above" it, etc.).
ReplyDeleteIt happens quite often.
ReplyDeleteExactly, he was perfectly free to do what he liked. In his shoes, I wouldn't have done anything that same exact night, but if a girlfriend says "We should take a break from us", that means I'm not bound to her any more.
ReplyDeleteHoliday Armadillo = BUYS
ReplyDeleteNope. Just playing off a meme that I find disproportionately funny...
ReplyDeleteBUT WHAT ABOUT THE 3MB STATE OF THE WWE ADDRESS?!?
ReplyDeleteMy apologies then, Mr. 1978. Well played.
ReplyDeleteHe's terrible in general.
ReplyDeletePersonally, if they are going to do the AJ Cena storyline, why not make Cena a henpecked boyfriend? AJ is constantly complaining about something going on in the lockerroom or some travel problem or some book she is reading. Everytime Cena opens his mouth, he gets into trouble. If Cena doesn't say anything, AJ says "You never talk to me anymore." Since he can't be the alpha in the relationship, he ends up taking it out on competition. Instead of dialing it up to 10, dial back the campiness to to 5-6. He becomes like a male Elizabeth with AJ more like a female Macho Man with the physical roles reversed.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, what Ross did was a bit of a dick move. Because even if they had officially, 100% broken up, to sleep with someone that soon is still mean. But he NEVER would have, had the following not gone down...
ReplyDeleteRachel was FAR worse, and the whole ordeal is 100% her fault.
Since day one, their fights had been about Mark. Ross is a guy, who's smart enough to know that a guy never wants to just be friends with a woman. For some reason, women can't grasp that. Why, I don't know. Anyway, so it comes to a boiling point, and they break up. Then WHO does she let come over?! Mark! The absolute last person on Earth that should be there. That was inexcusable on her part. Then a few episodes later, Mark admits he's always had a thing for her, and asks her out. Does Ross EVER get vindication for this great reveal? Does Rachel ever apologize? Nope.
Or elvy is back and he brought some friends. Don't mock tna or you will get the wrath of the down vote.
ReplyDeleteI love that there will be more empty seats than ppv buys
ReplyDeleteThis guy gets it
ReplyDelete*Jesse Baker likes this post*
ReplyDeleteDown vote sebastiaan if you think this is fiscally responsible for tna
ReplyDeleteHaters gonna hate. They might as well hold a Home and Garden show on the other side... probably draw more.
ReplyDeleteThe HOME AND GARDEN SHOW.... Stay for TNA LOCKDOWN.... PLEASE!!!!
Errybody love me!
ReplyDeleteUpvoted!
ReplyDeleteI see you've been following Jesse's work.
ReplyDeleteDomestic abuse is (almost) never funny, but I think the image of Cena changing his outfit to long-sleeved shirts and sunglasses to cover up the bruises would be fucking hilarious. But I'm a sick bastard, so whatever.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I know, but he actually looks the part, which is pretty fucking amazing.
ReplyDeleteI don't really follow body-building, I don't even to go to gym's, I usually do bodyweight stuff in parks and such.
ReplyDelete...alright I'll give you that.
ReplyDeleteUh, actually it does. This shit is entirely subjective, so what I say is completely true. He is pandering. He might not be pandering in your OPINION, but in my OPINION (because that's what they all are) he is.
ReplyDeleteI'll stop calling you motherfuckers if you stop having carnal relations with your moms.
ReplyDeleteAnd there's a difference between inspiration and theft. He's using the exact same vocal inflections as Ledger did, he's cutting the found footage promos that Joker did, he's using the same philosophical/moral villain schtick Joker used. In the hip-hop world that's called biting, and it's not okay.
Seriously, the only reason you're all blowing your loads over this is because every smark wanted a Joker gimmick and Ambrose is finally fulfilling all your fantasies. That is the definition of pandering.
I was actually going more for "middle-aged, ballless husband" rather than "250 lb professional wrestler getting beat up by 118 lb woman," but 6 of one....
ReplyDeleteActually an underdog babyface that replaced cynicism and world-weariness for up-beat optimism would be pretty fucking cool.
ReplyDeleteI don't get the manic, gibbering insanity out of Ambrose. He's not a loose cannon, he's just fucking evil.
ReplyDeleteYeah, look at Orton.
ReplyDeleteAnd? Do you disagree? I like the movie, I liked the performance, that doesn't mean I want to see somebody do their cheap imitation of it on national television.
ReplyDeleteIt's like that one kid in high school who quoted Eminem lyrics to make them sound deep or scary or something.
I'm pretty sure there's a horde of people who just downvote things. There are more downvotes than regular posters.
ReplyDeleteOne major problem with that, Titus can't work.
ReplyDeleteI got my Joker fix from Sting, thank you very much.
ReplyDeleteAnd Doink the Clown.
Never got how he became a talent guy. He was always a finish/booking guy and a pretty good one.
ReplyDeleteI'm called motherfucker because I stole my mother's week's pay while she was sleeping. You know, I fucked her over.
ReplyDeleteYou know...I was gonna bring that up myself, but to his credit those 2 guys pulled off the angle pretty well.
ReplyDeleteAnd the payoff was an absolute monster, which helps.
"I'll stop calling you motherfuckers if you stop having carnal relations with your moms."
ReplyDeleteImmaturity wasn't lost with you. Bravo.
FWIW, when Ziggler was on commentary he specifically pointed out how it was an INJUSTICE that Cena gets another shot at the briefcase. Then lo and behold the Shield shows up. That was some middling to decent foreshadowing of Ziggler being the leader.
ReplyDeleteSHITTAY LORRUPP-A!
ReplyDeleteThe downvotes are hilarious. I LIKE TNA and that's just pathetic.
ReplyDeleteDon't ever stop that.
ReplyDeleteI could believe that if only because Cena the character would never fight back (nowadays anyway, I'm pretty sure he FU'd Lita and other women in the past).
ReplyDeleteI know it's one of those things that's supposed to make me turn in my smark card because we're not supposed to like it but as a weight lifter, I LOVE when they go into specifics about different guys' routines and I love figuring on how, kayfabe, they would factor into their in ring abilities. Like with Cesaro, if he only uses free weights, that maxes out his stabilizers, which legit would explain how someone with a lean build and trim muscle mass could lift someone like Brodus safely.
ReplyDeleteI think there is Joker influence there, for sure, but the original crux of his character when he was still Jon Moxley was that he was a dirty "Street Dog" scumbag kind of guy, and that reflected in his nihilistic attitude. Really cool shit. Either way the dude is good.
ReplyDeleteIf Otunga isn't going to use the coffee gimmick he needs to give it back to Cesaro. That shit was awesome, especially when he would cut an angry promo because he didn't have his fix.
ReplyDeleteHe's Samoan. He won't have "the look" forever. That boy has diabetes in his future whether he likes it or not.
ReplyDeleteHe can work, he's just got pretty meat & potatoes offense. Which isn't a bad thing, and will actually serve him well in WWE since he won't look like "another indie guy".
ReplyDeleteRey is American. Racist.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's a commentary on how Linda was pre- kids?
ReplyDeleteAnd that play's into the question I've always wondered. Why is Miz hated by so many of his colleagues(hated is strong, but looked down upon). Sure he did the Real World, but he was fresh out of college, stupid, and probably didn't think he was ever gonna step foot in WWE. If you went back in time and told the Miz in 2000 that in 6 years you'll be in WWE, he probably wouldn't believe it.
ReplyDeleteAnd it's not like he entered the company and got pushed straight to the moon, he worked his way up to the top. By all means I'm not that huge of a Miz fan but I can respect his work ethic.
Ryan Murphy's original reply said "Rey is American. Racist."
ReplyDeleteI was talking about why Sin Cara couldn't be the non-US guy, since he's currently tied up with Rey. I said nothing about Rey being in the picture aside from that.
Exactly. Based on real life I think women know damn well their male friend wants them, but like they attention, so they try to innocently say they're just friends to make it all seem okay because technically nothing has happened to make them more than friends.
ReplyDeleteYup, somebodies butthole is hurting.
ReplyDeleteSo...he's a guy that doesn't believe in anything or anybody? That...is Joker's character. That's his entire thing.
ReplyDeleteI'm not saying Jon Moxley isn't talented, I do think he has charisma, but his gimmick isn't original and it panders to comic book nerds.
I think your idea would probably get more traction in PG WWE...
ReplyDeleteWhile I agree, that she's overexposed. The draw part is debatable considering that the pops she gets far exceed any of the other divas.
ReplyDelete"so what I say is completely true." In your opinion.
ReplyDeleteSo strange. I don't think the Alamodome is really though of as a high rent, primo stadium these days, but you still gotta think it would still be incredibly expensive to rent out given the size. Maybe someone owed Dixie a favor or something and they got a cut rate deal or something?
ReplyDeleteI just don't really see the point. I guess they can always expand the seating chart if they sell more tickets, but it sure doesn't make a lot of sense since they don't seem to be the hot ticket in town. WCW would do that for many of their dome shows -- set it up for 20k and scale it up to 30k or 40k as the ticket sales came in. It doesn't make a lot of sense when you aren't hot though -- they did something similar in New Orleans in the late 1980s, running about 4k paid fans in the Superdome.
I wish I could upvote this twice. Once for the original comment, and again for the edit
ReplyDeleteWell, yeah, they could absolutely do that. But this is Vince we're talking about.
ReplyDeleteYeah some guy just ripping off ledger would be pathetic for sure. But I don't think that's what he's doing. Maybe he took a little of the timimg but it's not like he's doing lines from the movie
ReplyDeleteMine? lol, nice try deflecting the fact that you're acting like a little douche. Grow up.
ReplyDeleteEasy Chip :)
ReplyDeleteGrow up? You're the one who flat out refuses to acknowledge the legitimacy of a different opinion. Seriously, this blog can be so fucking insular and close-minded. I pissed in your cheerios and you're whining like children about it.
ReplyDelete