The SmarK RAW Rant – 09.02.13
Live from Des Moines, IA.
Your hosts are Michael Cole, JBL and Jerry Lawler
Ooo, now I get to CHOOSE which crappy “ad experience” I get on Hulu.
COOHHH joins us to start and brings out Randy Orton. Cole notes that someone in the locker room is calling this the REIGN OF TERROR, which might be an inside joke referring to how everyone called HHH’s run in 2002 by that name, I dunno. Orton feels that Daniel Bryan should give up his title shot at the PPV because he’s not worthy of it. HHH adds that popularity has nothing to do with what’s best for THIS BUSINESS. Specifically, Doink the Clown was popular, but never WWE championship material (geez, the dude just DIED, lay off him) so maybe he’ll bring back the Cruiserweight title for Daniel instead. Daniel comes out and plays the “HHH lost his nuts” card, which is always a winner, but HHH notes that Bryan should blame Big Show, the dude with the Ironclad Contract, who just stands there and doesn’t help. Hmm, good point. So it’s Bryan v. Show tonight. Another strong promo as this angle chugs along at full steam.
Meanwhile, the Reign of Terror bumps in Cody Rhodes, who thinks that Randy might be afraid of Daniel Bryan. This opinion doesn’t work out well for him, as HHH books him against Orton in a match where he gets fired if he loses. This shit is gonna get guys over left and right. They’ve already made Big Show into a giant sympathetic babyface and seemingly anyone else who crosses them is going to get cheered. That’s how you know it’s the right kind of heel heat for the bad guys.
Dolph Ziggler v. Ryback
Dean Ambrose lays out Ziggler for the hell of it before the match, but Zigger wants to fight anyway. So Ryback beats the hell out of him, but Ziggler gets a well-timed dropkick to counter the lariat and pounds away in the corner. Ryback puts him down again and finishes with the Shellshock at 3:08. ½*
Stephanie McMahon brings out Big Show, who is apparently refusing to face Daniel Bryan tonight. Stephanie lets us know that Show is broke and his body is breaking down, and Show has these awesome facial expressions like he’s going to cry listening to this abuse.
Randy Orton v. Cody Rhodes
Typical WWE moment as the announcers are having an intense argument about the seriousness of the Cody Rhodes career stipulation, and Jerry Lawler has to stop them and plug the sponsor of the PPV. Orton suplexes him on the top rope and tosses him, but Bryan sends him into the stairs and gets two. Cole notes that in fact many in the locker room are calling Orton the DISGRACE of the WWE instead of the face. I think the locker room needs better writers. Cody with a dropkick for two, but Orton pokes him in the eye and gets two. Orton slugs away in the corner, but Cody comes back with a front suplex and pounds Orton right back, until Orton dumps him and we take a break. I’d like to talk about the Xfinity ad where the woman notes that their DSL was running “way slow” until they switched to Xfinity and now the internet is faster, and that’s just basic math! Now, I might be a simple country chicken, but doesn’t math typically involve NUMBERS? OK, this is getting me too angry, back to the match. Orton is holding a chinlock, but Cody makes the comeback with a springboard dropkick for two. Disaster kick misses, but a second try gets two. Cody goes up and whiffs on a moonsault, and Orton gets two. Draping DDT and Orton goes his babyface act to GIANT heel heat, but Cody reverses the RKO into Crossroads for two. Orton necksnaps him, but Cody rolls him up for two, then hurts his knee on a disaster kick attempt, and the RKO ends his career at 15:19. The dude dressed like Dusty Rhodes at ringside is REALLY pissed. No one buys the stip for real, but the crowd was sure buying it tonight. ***1/2
CM Punk joins us, and he wants to fight Paul Heyman, even if it means going through Curtis Axel first. He does the hard sell for the PPV, promising that if you buy the show, you’re going to see him break Heyman’s face.
Natalya v. Brie Bella v. Naomi
Winner of this clusterfuck gets AJ at the PPV. Naomi is going to pin Natalya after a butt-butt, but AJ Lee runs in for the DQ at 1:10. Uh, what happened to no DQ in three-way matches? Shockingly, it ends up with AJ having to defend against all three at the PPV.
Meanwhile, things are getting way too real for Big Show. Daniel Bryan is like “Don’t worry, I’m gonna beat you anyway so you don’t have to feel bad about winning.”
Los Matadores are coming! At some point!
Meanwhile, a dejected Cody Rhodes rages about the 20 year vendetta that the McMahons have had against the Rhodes family.
Big Show v. Daniel Bryan
Show doesn’t want to fight, but Bryan keeps attacking him, so Show tosses him and tries to talk sense into him. Bryan responds by kicking him down and getting a dropkick for two. Bryan throws dropkicks in the corner, but walks into Show’s boot and gets slammed. Show is still torn up about it, though, and keeps trying to explain things rationally. Bryan goes to the knee again and throws kicks, and a short DDT gets two. He goes up, but lands on a spear, and now Show is really pissed. He decides to walk out, but HHH sends the Shield down to make sure he finishes the match. Show refuses, so the Shield beats on Bryan for the DQ at 5:50. Not really anything to the match. * HHH then informs a tearful Show that he has to knock Bryan out, but he still refuses to fight. So this brings out Stephanie, who manages to guilt Show into finishing the job. Man, when he finally puts Hunter’s lights out one day, the place is gonna come unglued.
The Pulse
Not a good week to be a babyface in WWE.
I really do hope we get a Golddust / Cody Rhodes / Dusty Rhodes v. Sandow / X / Y match at Survivor Series - if they bother to do actual survivor series matches.
ReplyDeleteSomebody, anybody, explain how "iron-clad contract" actually means "unless you do what we say, you're fired contract"? That they acknowledged it actually only served to muddy the waters further.
ReplyDeleteApart from that, what a f'n angle. The crowd is going to be NUCLEAR by the time Show/Bryan finally end a show on top.
An iron clad contract means he can't be fired, but it also means Triple H can make his life hell by putting him in matches against the Shield every week instead of main events.
ReplyDeleteOh, look, a review of RAW that doesn't contain six hundred walls of text. Imagine that.
ReplyDeleteIf you're going to rip someone off of Scott Keith, like his quotes, the least you could do is rip off his ability to condense events into entertaining, readable paragraphs.
Faces have been destroyed lately. I guess Edge is supposed to inspire them into action next week?
ReplyDeleteAlso, they are booking this story to mean that Big Show's bad business decisions have bankrupt him. So if he want another contract after this, he needs to play ball with Triple H and Steph.
ReplyDeleteIt also means that once Big Show gets his balls back, Triple H can't fire him. It works both ways once the story turns in that direction.
Which he'll get paid for. The insinuation from Steph's speech was he needed to do why they say to keep his job and make up for not investing money properly like JBL or something.
ReplyDeleteAlso, Stephanie was 12 when Big Show talked to her backstage? He arrived the same year she was taking taxis driven by Taker.
Or just plug his shitty SciFi show.
ReplyDeleteYeah, he makes money but not as much as he would if he played ball.
ReplyDeleteI also wonder who can WWE have come in and cheer everybody without overshadowing the existing faces. Like if Rock and Austin shows up, they would instantly overshadow Bryan, Ziggler, and Show.
ReplyDeleteIf Edge or Foley shows up, that could work. Maybe Flair? Have Triple H tell Ric, "you're not good for business anymore Ric!"
Actually Edge being on the show now is pretty good timing because he went through in real life with HHH what Bryan is going through now with him fictionally.
ReplyDeleteWouldn't be surprised if he cuts a promo about it next week.
:puts on thinking cap: Okay, what about this scenario: Big Show has an iron-clad contract. BUT it's a pay to play contract meaning he has to wrestle to earn his money. If he disobeys Stephanie and HHH he can be be used super-sparingly (let's say, once a month at a house show) and if he wants to earn he has to follow what they say.
ReplyDeleteWait, what did Edge go through with HHH?
ReplyDeleteThey'd have dealt with it much better by saying Laurinatus never had the authority to agree to it and he remains the same as any other member of the roster. Simple and no discussion.
ReplyDeleteIIRC, Edge was one of the leading babyfaces against Evolution and feuded specifically with Orton over the IC title.
ReplyDeleteTo be fair, Scott is only reviewing half the show...
ReplyDeleteIf Jericho had been gone longer, he'd work. He's the poster boy for "Guys Jerked Around and Screwed Over by HHH". Or he would be, but they took him off the poster to make more room for Steph's dog.
ReplyDeleteEdge can re-invent himself as the motivational dude. He tried getting Cena to stop moping. Now the WWE needs him to rally the faces to help Bryan.
ReplyDeleteAlso, if Punk polishes off Heyman at the PPV, he'll be more than happy to tell Triple H where to shove it.
Yet its somehow 1/5th the text.
ReplyDeleteNo need to be a dick about it.
ReplyDeleteTakes a lot of time and effort. There's constructive criticism, then there's being a dick. I don't need to explain which one this is.
Not a good week to be a babyface in WWE.
ReplyDeletePunk seemed to come out of it okay.
There are two ways to go with it, I think.
ReplyDelete1. He can't be fired but HHH can screw with him indefinitely. 3 on 1 handicap matches, no more title matches ever, etc.
2. Johnny Ace made the contract and he's really dumb so it's actually not iron clad. There's some kind of loophole that says Show can be fired if he doesn't do what the Boss says, or it only meant Johnny couldn't fire him, or whatever.
It sounded like they were going with 2. I prefer 1, but to be honest, I'm just shocked they even brought it up so any scenario that actually addresses it is crazy.
HHH was one of the guys who didn't think he was ready to be champion and got his reign cut short after he cashed in.
ReplyDeleteWhy is there any doubt over the length of this contract? It's a good idea actually, the could have explained it runs out next month or something (did they? Not seen Raw yet), then the current situation makes perfect sense. I just get annoyed by silly little errors that are avoidable.
ReplyDeleteRefusal to wrestle would be a breach of contract in even the best contracts.
ReplyDeleteRVD did too. I think it's pretty obvious what Scott was talking about, no need to nitpick.
ReplyDeleteThe NOC match needs to be a 99 throwback. Brawling all over the arena, 3 ref bumps, a ton of interference, a face turn, a heel turn, Hornswoggle, a surprise return, and a Dusty Finish.
ReplyDeleteThen the Hell in a Cell match will finally make sense and mean something again.
What's with the Big Show turning into this blubbering mess over fighting Daniel Bryan? It's ridiculous and makes no sense. Are we trying to show his 'range' as an actor? Who gives a shit
ReplyDeleteThe Stephanie/Show segment was awful. He's only four years older than her.
ReplyDeleteAlso, Heyman = Walt, Punk = Jesse... and Curtis can be Todd.
I'd never heard that. I'm not saying it didn't happen, but is it possible they wanted to give Cena a big moment beating HHH at WM 22?
ReplyDeleteI was kind of kidding.
ReplyDeleteNot to defend Stephanie too much but is it possible she slipped up her line and meant to say a 12 year friendship?
ReplyDeleteAnyway go to WWE.com and put 'Big Show on his absence' in their search. (can't copy the link for some reason) The first result contains Show saying he answers to no one in WWE management. Silly little errors, easily solved.
ReplyDeleteSorry, my bad.
ReplyDeleteDusty is pushing 70 years old...there's really no need to see him wrestle again. I can youtube his glory days easily enough.
ReplyDeleteEdge talks about on his DVD. I think Michael Hayes was the other guy against it to.
ReplyDeleteEven if she didn't mess it up, people are obsessing over it way too much. C'mon people it's pro-wrestling. There have been a lot more egregious history rewrites than that.
ReplyDeleteImagine if Batista came back. Thumbs down, Batista Bomb would be an insane pop.
ReplyDeleteInteresting. It's funny because Edge was a guy I always thought was a "when" rather than "if" guy as champion.
ReplyDeleteYeah, for example there is no way Stevie Richards won the title at 20.
ReplyDelete*SyFy
ReplyDeleteYou done crying? If you dont want to read someones review than dont click on the article. Not too hard, huh
ReplyDeleteHe's not even that far removed from being a heel. I hate that shit when they make guys act basically OOC for no reason.
ReplyDeleteStatler: "I wanna sue The Big Show!"
ReplyDeleteWaldorf: "Sue him for what?"
Statler: "He stole that crying, blubbering face from me!"
Waldorf: "When do you do that?!"
Statler: "When RAW still has another hour to go!"
DOHOHOHOHO!
From the WWE website story dated June 1, 2013:
ReplyDelete(stick 'Big Show on his absence' in the search on their site)
"I have an ironclad contract!" he screamed through the phone. "I'll take time off any time I want to, for as long as I want to! I don’t care if Booker doesn’t like it. I’m a giant! I don’t do what other people tell me to do. They do what I tell them to do. 'Ironclad' means I answer to no one. That includes Booker, and anyone else in WWE management."
Good thing Macho Man passed, I don't know how well he would take to the news that Steph had another friend in the locker room when she was 12.
ReplyDeleteTo be fair, Big Show's always been an emo. All the way back to when the Big Bossman drug his dead daddy at a high rate of speed. He's always sad, then he gets angry.
ReplyDeleteWhat a terrible comment. -*****
ReplyDeleteIt's pretty lazy, though, which is a shame because the angle is really well acted. Trips is so on point with his heel COO character. FINALLY, he realized he can be a heel and a troll at the same time, instead of droning on for 20 minutes about how he's the GAME-UH.
ReplyDeleteI do love that COOHHH is basically embodying everything that people always say about him, to maximum heel effect. It's kinda awesome, as long as it's a "story".
ReplyDeleteI couldn't even really follow what he meant...
ReplyDeleteYeah my thoughts too. Big Show came to the WWE in '99. Steph would have been in her 20's by then. Maybe she also grew up watching Fandango as well.
ReplyDeletePeople were bitching about Hogan's slip ups last week. Just par for the course.
ReplyDeleteFoley would get his ass kicked if he showed up because that's what Mick does.
ReplyDeleteHow about DDP? Wasn't his gimmick a motivational speaker?
ReplyDeleteSomeone needs to Tweet that to HHH.
ReplyDeleteThat gimmick wasn't a bad thing.... that was a good thing! (Smiles inanely)
ReplyDeleteHe was going to go through them one by one and tear them down... then the Canadian crowd turned on him at the PPV and that was pretty much it for the Edge babyface run.
ReplyDeleteCameras should follow Cody Rhodes as his daddy gets him another job: as a garbageman/plumber.
ReplyDeleteIt would have to be phrased really well, though. This is the good type of worked shoot, if Edge cuts the "he held me down" promo it could be on the express to Russo-ville.
ReplyDeleteThis review should be seen by Hulu execs as it's THE biggest motivation I've ever had to get Hulu Plus. That was probably a 5 top worst Raw I've seen last night but Scott seems somewhat neutral to the condensed version.
ReplyDeleteBeing in his sons corner and dropping an elbow here and there would be cool.
ReplyDeleteI've always said that 90 minutes is the optimal length for a wrestling show.
ReplyDeleteWell sure. He missed out on eight more HHH segments.
ReplyDeleteI just don't get why he'd be so opposed to fighting Daniel Bryan? They've had shit loads of fights before. Like I understand if he'd 'rather not' but actually CRYING because he doesn't want to? Jesus
ReplyDeleteI know. Dude, you're a wrestler. Bryan is a wrestler. Go wrestle. Big Show was acting like HHH was telling him to punch school children.
ReplyDeleteYeah they saw that he can cry on cue and thought oh man we HAVE to make him cry on TV now. They could have at least put him in a scenario where it makes sense for him to cry (like the Bossman dragging his dead daddy thing)
ReplyDeleteYeah it's a stretch, but if they wanted to explain it I guess they could talk about Big Show not wanting to be part of this new corporation and be used as a tool like he was back in 99, but seriously...it's like they asked him to beat the crap out of his son.
ReplyDeleteDid he start turning into a whiny pussbag before Steph aired his dirty laundry? Don't remember, these shows are too long. I just imagine that Show is bi-polar, it makes his character easier to understand.
ReplyDeleteI guess this could make sense in kayfabe: if you are competing in the main events you get paid a lot more than if you are just a regular guy on Raw. or worse, on Superstars.
ReplyDeletethose are the kind of "shoot" angles (if you want to call it that way) that actually make for a good show.
ReplyDeleteI think the crying was a bit over the top but if Show really believes what the Corporation 2.0 doing is wrong and he's feeling like he's being manipulated, then yes, he's justified in not wanting to fight DB. It would've been cool if DB and Show had devised a clever way to have a match without really having a match, but I guess they don't want to go there yet.
ReplyDeleteHoly shit, where has this awesome heel HHH been hiding for 7 years? The slow build to Big Show flipping out and destroying him (gasp) makes people want to see what happens next week! It's like it's something that's worked for decades!
ReplyDeleteexactly. isn't that one of the best things about tag team matches, especially with more than four people involved? you can easily have one participant waiting on the outside and just let him come in and do his spots.
ReplyDeleteComment of the week.
ReplyDeleteYeah, but in that case I think 'pissed' would be a better emotion than 'crying'. He should be mad that he has to wrestle Bryan and not pummel the crap out of somebody from the Shield, but not bawling about it.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you, pissed would've been a better emotion, but I see what they were going for, and Show's a good enough actor he can pull it off most times, but yes, pissed off would've been more effective IMO.
ReplyDeleteTop 5 Worst Raw Ever! Come on bro.
ReplyDeleteHe doesn't want to be part of the bullying of Daniel Bryan. Granted he was a huge bully a few months ago, but still.
ReplyDeleteYeah, stealing a hearse and dragging around a coffin with a 500lb man riding it made total sense.
ReplyDeleteSo he cries about it? Despite his ironclad contract? Which can suddenly be taken away? Why's he CRYING again?
ReplyDeleteThis is pro wrestling dude, that stuff happens. Crying was a perfectly fine reaction I'd say, unlike last night
ReplyDeleteSo:
ReplyDelete-you give Daniel Bryan a hope spot next week,
-have the faction screw d-bry at the ppv
-use the cell gimmick to imply there's no intereference at the cell ppv, still somehow have the shield et co. get involved there (boltcutters, hhh demands the technical people lift the cell, reigns rips door off, take your pick)
-the roster finally rebels at the end of the ppv, so bryan can stand tall without having to win the title early
-borrow a page from the excellent rock/hhh/foley january 2000 storyline where the roster says they want a survivor series match or they're walking out, and then hhh will be left with NO business
-have a ziggler/show/bryan/henry/rhodes vs orton/shield/hhh survivor series match
If I was booking, that's where I would go with this. Just my opinion.
Because he lost all his money and can't support his family?
ReplyDeleteI like how he speaks softly and carefully when doing his corporate-schtick to wrestlers backstage. Almost like a father would. It's a nice touch.
ReplyDeleteThat AJ-Divas segment was really weird. You had AJ interfere in the match like a heel would and then she gets triple-teamed and beat up but keeps on coming like a babyface. If anything, it made me want to cheer for AJ.
ReplyDeleteSo, to sum up, a former prison guard dressed in a swat vest steals a hearse at your father's funeral and drags his coffin around a cemetery is an acceptable situation to cry. Having a person you considered a friend badger you and expose the fact that you're flat broke in order to get you to injure a friend of yours is not an acceptable situation to cry. Got it.
ReplyDeleteI miss Big Boss Man.
ReplyDeleteHave Ambrose sacrifice himself and let Reigns spear him through the cage from outside to the inside.
ReplyDeleteSo the entire purpose of this angle is to get The Big Show over as the super face? Bwhahaha. Sure.
ReplyDeleteSadly. What's worse is it was only so horrible because I'm already mentally five steps ahead with HHH squashing the world and never getting his comeuppance. If the story progresses and Bryan starts being allowed to get some shots in and they make a few guys for standing up to them, these could be interesting to watch in the future but now, yeah, bad
ReplyDeleteNo, the entire purpose of the angle is to get a bunch of different people over, including the Big Show. And it's working.
ReplyDeleteSquashing the world? Like the intro to Monty Python?
ReplyDeleteYes. The Shield are paying homage to him with the outfits.
ReplyDelete(just kidding..but someone will believe me.)
Waaaah, reading about wrestling is HARD.
ReplyDeleteYeah, it's like someone realized he doesn't have to be a complete douche to be a good heel; that's what Orton's for!
ReplyDeleteYup.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's because I'm currently watching the McMahon-Helmsley Era storyline concurrently with this stuff, but man, I'm loving both. The contrast to Triple H as as the guy who slept his to power and abuses it, to seeing Triple H now as the condescending asshole who's "doing what's best for THIS BUSINESS". I fucking love it.
ReplyDeleteLOVE IT!
That's pretty good. Awesome booking
ReplyDelete.....and that (at the time) would have made the Big Show what? 14?
ReplyDeleteNot negative enough. Complain about things that haven't happened yet.
ReplyDeleteSo all it takes to make a pro wrestler cry is to tell them they're flat broke and they should fight a guy that they've fought a million times before if they don't want to be flat broke. DECISIONS DECISIONS
ReplyDeleteeveryone will be motivated if he brings Kimberly with him
ReplyDeleteAll he has to do is wrestle the guy he's wrestled a million times before and all will be fine. What does he do instead? CRY. Actually CRY. Come on dude, it was pathetic. He should have got pissed off again but no Vince thinks Hollywood might be watching
ReplyDeleteThey've been split for a pretty long time now, IIRC.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, but all I read was:
ReplyDelete"AJ"
"triple teamed"
"Coming like a babyface"
*headinhands*
ReplyDeleteBig Show's always been emotional. He cried when he found Joy Giovanni in JBL's trunk.
ReplyDeleteHave you ever been flat broke and have a family to support? It can be quite upsetting.
ReplyDeleteNot to mention, when he had to beg for his job, he was in tears.
ReplyDeleteDon't read the other raw recap. Or the live thread.
ReplyDeleteWell then if I was Big Show I would do my job and WRESTLE to support my family. Why was he crying again?
ReplyDeleteThis was nowhere anywhere NEAR the worst 5 raws ever. Maybe the worst of the 5 raws you've ever seen if you started 5 weeks ago. SMH...=)
ReplyDelete"This angle has died... it has ceased to be... it has gone to meet its maker... it is no more."
ReplyDelete"Nah, it's just stunned"
"STUNNED?!"
(Not actually where we are now... yet.)
I didn't see Verne Troyer, Shaq, Jeremy Piven, Dr. Ken, Nascar Drivers, or Little People's Court anywhere on this show.
ReplyDeletePeople are complaining about all of it, because that's all they know how to do.
ReplyDeleteHe also was driving the Bluesmobile.
ReplyDeleteJesus fucking Christ, he wasn't upset about wrestling Bryan, he was upset about being used to hurt him.
ReplyDeleteThe live thread has gone downhill. It used to be a fun read with everyone snarking on the show but now it's nothing but nonstop "ermahgawd u remember that one time HHH buried Booker T this is just like that ugh i hate WWE!!!!111111!"
ReplyDeleteI believe that was the intention. Slow build....
ReplyDeleteFinal thoughts on my end:
ReplyDeleteYou know, if I'm here in one month, three months, six months, or even a year, admitting I was wrong about this, I'll be as happy as anyone who'll be gladly shouting "I told you so!"
But, until proven otherwise, past history is a decent gauge of present promise. If this was Vince instead of Hunter, the beatdowns/angle advancement wouldn't be so worrying, because Vince knew that he'd have to show ass at some point.
But it's Hunter. The Hunter that told Booker "your kind doesn't win titles"... then decisively beat him at WM18. The Hunter that took a hot RVD, a hot Goldberg... and beat them cleanly to cement himself as the "King of Kings". The Hunter who, for every interesting moment on RAW from 2002-2005, threw up a godawful 20 minute promo or squashed another potential star. The Hunter who squashed Randy Orton as a face, and just couldn't put him over as a heel. The Hunter who decided that anything Shawn could do, he could do better... and wound up with two "okay" WM matches against Taker. The Hunter who HAD, HAD to get deeply involved in the Summer of Punk and bring in his buddy Kevin to kill it off for once and for all. The Hunter who wasted multiple matches with Brock in a rather sad attempt to prove he still had it.
Yes, Hunter put Cena over. He put Batista over. He made TAKA MICHINOKU look like a world beater that one time. But the total evidence is not in his favor. If myself, and the other pessimists, are proven wrong, then great. But understand that we're not willing to buy it on good faith alone.
Wow, the Hulu Plus version of Raw sounds a hell of a lot better than the 3 hr, 15 minute live version!
ReplyDeleteI blame that cab guy.
ReplyDeleteUpset to the point of tears? That's one emosh dude. I don't remember any tag team partners crying when they come up against each other in the Royal Rumble
ReplyDeleteChange the record. This one is warped.
ReplyDeleteHowever, this angle is a total failure until I get the New Age Outlaws as the new Patterson and Briscoe.
ReplyDeleteTHE PEOPLE (okay, just me and few others maybe) DEMAND IT!
I blame all the 411 types that have come over. There should be a test you have to take to participate in the live threads. If you fail, you're quarantined to Caliber posts.
ReplyDeleteAll of this is BUYS. But don't forget you have the Battleground PPV in early October before the Cell PPV, but I figure that's where Bryan gets HHH in "one more match" to earn another title shot at the Cell.
ReplyDeleteWhy are you fucking watching then?
ReplyDeleteJesse Baker was all over this week's also. The berzerker, jvc and john petuka are from 411? And apparently caliber quit.
ReplyDeleteYes, after watching a friend get beat down week after week and then you have to knock him out as well, you'd be upset too.
ReplyDeleteHe actually isn't watching, according to his comments on another post. He's basing this entire rant off of recaps.
ReplyDeleteHe admitted in the previous thread that he doesn't watch.
ReplyDeleteJesus christ.
ReplyDeleteHe was crying even before that... Refusing to wrestle him even though he's a WRESTLER and they've wrestled countless times before. I know WWE booking doesn't make much sense at the best of times, but come on.
ReplyDeleteNor do I see Mae West give birth to a hand, Kane suddenly think he's a movie character, or Wally Yamaguchi try to castrate Val Venis.
ReplyDeleteIt was not a great episode of RAW, but it was not so bad that we'll be talking about it 2 years from now.
Exactly, I feel it is too. When Dolph, Show and now Cody Rhodes get their revenge, it should get them over pretty well.
ReplyDeleteYou take back that last one. That was hilarious.
ReplyDeleteI think she thinks he's Andre The Giant.
ReplyDeleteTell me how.
ReplyDeletePetuka is a good poster no idea who those other guys are. And Baker has gone so far past insanity that this place wouldn't be the same without him.
ReplyDeleteI'm so disappointed we didn't get a Reneke flameout from Caliber.
If Cody isn't writing his own version of 'Hard Times', he needs to be shown the door for real.
ReplyDeleteAnd when Matt Hardy gets his revenge, he'll be way over too!
ReplyDelete#slowbuild
I would cry too if I found Joy Giovanni in my trunk.
ReplyDeleteTears of joy.
The funny thing is that Show turned roughly a month ago, so they never established it. I don't mine, because like I said, I just chalk it up to him being bi-polar.
ReplyDelete"Now, I might be a simple country chicken, but doesn’t math typically involve NUMBERS?"
ReplyDeleteYou want a math lesson? Then call Big Poppa Pump! He'll show you REAL numbers and percentages of the likes the greatest mathematician's in World History would approve!
I thought tracing it back to a 'vendetta' of the McMahons against the Rhodes family was brilliant.
ReplyDeleteFor a guy obsessed with "Man Movies" and how much he can LIFT (Plus women love him), he really is a wuss.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you. Yeah, Bryan's on his back every time, but of course he is, he's one guy against a stacked alliance with muscle and no allies willing to back him up (yet). This is the best kind of heel set-up, because people will pay and watch to rally behind Bryan as he tries to fight seemingly impossible odds (and genuine impossible odds; if this was Cena, he would've AA'd HHH and Orton on the post-SS RAW).
ReplyDeleteHow about "Why are you going on and on and on and on and on and on about a TV show that you admit you're not watching?"
ReplyDeleteI'll take it under consideration.
ReplyDeleteThey have my $50 every month if they go that route.
ReplyDeletewow...
ReplyDeletehe is only in week 3 (3? 2?) of his style.
It's going to get better.
I like it though.
As someone who liked Dustin's promo when he did the 'Seven' gimmick or whatever it was, I approve. Cody needs to be out there with a fire, really selling to the people what his problem is and why the fans should get behind him. It's white-hot babyface promo time!
ReplyDeleteI wish I could find the Ole Anderson promo when he was kicked out of the Horsemen, wanting the people who believe in the importance of family to get on his side while he went after the bastards who went after his son.
i thought it was alluded too rather than outright, but I could be wrong. havent watch his dvd since it came out.
ReplyDeletePunk is in WWE Universe-2
ReplyDeleteHe is affected by blue Kryptonite.
It was WM19, not 18. If you are gonna rant at least be right.
ReplyDelete(Looks at post... re-reads...)
ReplyDeleteDOH! And thank you for pointing that out. Fixing it now.
That's ridiculous. We're talking about individual episodes of RAW, not the overall storyline. You can have a good storyline that has a few bad episodes, and vice versa.
ReplyDeletePsst...it's ok to let a thread go without complaining about what HHH did 10 years ago.
Exactly. That promo last night was so perfectly condescending from Triple H, and so insanely motivational from Bryan. I loved his tearing down of Orton.
ReplyDelete"I've had to scrape and claw for everything I have, while you've been handed EVERYTHING!"
I want Orton, The Shield and Ryback vs. Bryan, Show, Ziggler, Christian and Rhodes in War Games, dammit!
ReplyDeletethats a lil elitist
ReplyDeleteYou can just go with 4 on 4 without inserting Ryback and Rhodes. The original Wargames was 5 on 5 just so they could have a manager job.
ReplyDeleteFo' sho.
ReplyDeleteI just wanna say that I like the split down the middle of the BoD in terms of how they are booking the Bryan/Orton/HHH angle.
ReplyDeleteIt is leading to some good WRESTLING talk.
And that is what we are primarily here for.
WRESTLING.
Yeah...I just wish the discussion was more about the angle on it's own merits, and not people trying to relive the Austin/McMahon feud and/or rant about about angles from a d
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'm pretty much tapped out on talking about it anymore for exactly that reason.
ReplyDeleteSub in Punk for Christian?
ReplyDeleteExactly. They need to make the Corporate group seem invincible and put the faces completely up against the wall to make the payoff all the more satisfying. One of those occasions where people really do need to be patient and let it play out
ReplyDeleteAwesome because it's TRUE. That's why Orton is the perfect Corporation Champion in this feud
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely. There were so many bad RAWs back when Austin-McMahon was tearing up the ratings. People fail to recall that (or weren't watching back then at all).
ReplyDeleteExactly. And how can HHH of all people think Edge wasn't ready? He's basically HHH, with more charisma and a more versatile style in the ring.
ReplyDeleteThreadjack: Chase Utley finally responds to Mac's letter. Hilarity ensues http://mlbfancave.mlb.com/fancave/video.jsp?content_id=30284097&topic_id=19224580&fbid=Abg6NOUH-Ck&partnerId=th_facebook#fbid=CM1-kvlNjUn
ReplyDelete16
ReplyDeleteThe show was fine and all, but man, I haven't seen that many tears in wrestlers' eyes since Bret Hart's last hotel stay.
ReplyDeletealso commentary mentioned Big Johnny was a moron and massaged the truth. Big Show was misled by Johnny into thinking he had a better contract than he had. Much like he was probably misled into investing in a strip mall :P
ReplyDeleteYep. Overbook the *shit* out of it.
ReplyDeleteCould the Rhodes "firing" lead to the return of the MIDNIGHT RIDER?
ReplyDeleteThat's how the Nazis came to power. Never forget.
ReplyDeleteComparing this to the McMahon-Helmsley Era isn't exactly a true fit. For one thing, 2000 Triple H was a vastly better worker than 2013 Randy Orton is. And two, I think that people have forgotten how clunky that storyline became as time wore on. It was excellent for a couple of months, but it just wore on and on and ON. Much of what made 2000 great was the quality of the matches despite the storyline hindrances. Shows like WrestleMania 2000, King of the Ring, Fully Loaded and No Mercy come to mind from that year as proof.
ReplyDeleteAlright, that made me laugh, I'll give you that one.
ReplyDeleteFragile people don't respond well when you point out flaws in their belief system.
ReplyDeleteOh, I'm fine with that, I was just using the people who are already entrenched in the storyline. Punk's been doing his own thing, so I didn't include him.
ReplyDeleteThis is great.
ReplyDeleteIts okay... We'll see him at the crossroads.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing that bothers me is that I wish they had a younger midcard guy play the Big Show role. Could you imagine if Kofi or someone like that was the one who finally snapped and pummeled HHH? They could even play up the "stupid, stupid!" incident. Don't get me wrong, Big Show's doing great with it, but they could totally make another babyface star alongside Bryan with this angle, and I feel like making it Big Show doesn't help them long term.
ReplyDelete"Not a good week to be a babyface in WWE."
ReplyDeleteIt never is when HHH is a heel.
It goddamn well better!
ReplyDeleteIf you skip Smackdown, Daniel Bryan gets laid out 1/2 as much.
ReplyDeleteI feel like they did the same angle with Big Show last year, which lead to the Iron Clad contract in the first place.
ReplyDeleteI'd sub out Henry for Punk. Have Punk take out Axel at the PPV and then that Monday have him join the fight. Then down the line add Heyman to the Corporation with a new Heyman guy, add Ziggler (Rhodes should get involved either at NOC or the Raw before), and at the go-home show before SS have Show finally knock HHH out, Bryan/Punk/Ziggler/Rhodes/Show vs. Orton/Shield/Heyman Guy. If they want to extend it even further, since I keep hearing that it's all supposed to build to WM30, have Ziggler turn and join the Corporation, playing more or less the role that Orton played in Evolution, as the face of the company after Orton.
ReplyDeleteWhen Big Show was looking up as if to the heavens to say "I'm sorry", I was thinking "He's talking to his dead father whose casket the Big Bossman dragged around in his police car".
ReplyDeleteBig Show's been taking crying lessons from Tommy Dreamer.
ReplyDeleteSort of a threadjack, but has anyone ever found that Bossman/Kurt Angle promo where the "dead daddy" line comes from? That's one of the best one-liners ever and no one ever put it on Youtube.
ReplyDeleteAny episode that had DOA or Los Boriquas was a bad one. Especially when Los Boriquas started "rapping" their theme song to the ring.
ReplyDeletethat is comedy.
ReplyDeleteonce the did 4v4 it worked better imo
ReplyDeleteGeneralized comments about Big Show on this board:
ReplyDelete"DUR Big Show sucks!"
"Big Show was in the WWE before Steph! How could she be 12?"
"The Big Show will probably turn face and heel fifteen times this episode alone. Why does the WWE even bother?"
What you don't read on this board:
"THE BIG SHOW RULES!"
"You know, this feud with Lesnar rules, but I wish it was The Big Show facing CM Punk."
But now, now we have the young upstart, Daniel Bryan, facing off against the McMahons and Randy Orton and the person we want the WWE to pair him up with is The Big Show? Bwhahaha.
Why not use Kofi? He has history with Orton. Why not Cesero? Or Ziggler (has he been a part of this angle? I don't watch Smackdown)? Or anyone the WWE wants to try and get over long-term? Why use The Big Show? Try someone new.
I've been watching the WWE for a loooong time, and I've seen every version of HHH/Big Show/McMahon/Stephanie/Vince feud I care to see. I want to see new wrestlers pushed and hate each other and FIGHT. Not stand on the ramp like a bunch of pussies and get made to cry by Stehpanie McMahon. Blah.
At some point you HAVE to give Bryan a chance. That crowd was dead last night at the end. Rock had plenty of chances to at least fight back.
ReplyDeletePlus it was over by June, it didn't drag on and on.
ReplyDelete