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The PG PostGame: Hell in a Cell 2013 (VIDEO!)

Okay, folks, the ground rules: I did not see the show.  I am commenting on the booking only based upon the WWE's website report of what they consider important.  I will still award MVP and give a Final Rating.

And unlike the text last time, this time you get a YouTube vid!  Thrill at the annoying buzz of feedback because I don't understand audio controls yet!  Enjoy my Jake Roberts mustache and awful growth of mini-beard (hey, I don't shave on weekends)!  Listen to my TV newscaster voice!  See the towel hanging on the door to my bedroom!  YOU GET IT ALL!  C'mon -- who else would serve up an opportunity to snark on a silver platter like this?


Comments

  1. Kudos on the mustache. I really got the sense that the Chin Music was payback for attacking HBK's best-friend and wasn't an indication that Michaels was "on the take". Maybe I'll be proven wrong tomorrow, but Shawn instinctively defending his buddy is a much more interesting story than Shawn following orders, so I'm hoping that's what they go with.

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  2. I wonder what the finish would have been if the fans had chosen Backlund. Bryan gets Chickenwinged into unconsciousness?

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  3. Big Dick McGillicuttyOctober 28, 2013 at 2:47 AM

    Backlund cuts a promo that puts Bryan to sleep, and Orton sneaks a pin.

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  4. Big Dick McGillicuttyOctober 28, 2013 at 2:49 AM

    If Lou Reed was a wrestling fan, he sure died at the right time.

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  5. Did You Know: HBK and HHH have now been involved with each other in HiaC in four different capacities:

    1. Competitors
    2. Teammates
    3. Referee/Competitor
    4. Referee/COO

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  6. Big Dick McGillicuttyOctober 28, 2013 at 3:02 AM

    Okay, new favourite GIF

    http://i.imgur.com/GZUKvFD.gif

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  7. That makes the most sense. HBK will say he didn't mean to screw Bryan, but his best friend was down and instinct took over. And because the finish didn't directly involve Orton doing anything to Bryan or vice versa, it's the best way to move toward HHH vs. Bryan (with HBK stuck in the middle) and Orton taking on his next challenger (Punk?).

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  8. If they really wanted to sell the threat of Del Rio's cross armbreaker, Josh Matthews should've had his arm in a cast/sling during those analysis segments.

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  9. Frickin hilarious. That has made my Monday already.

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  10. That's how I read it, too - Shawn didn't see Trips shove Bryan, but DID see Bryan attack Trips. To Shawn, it looked like Bryan attacked Trips without provocation.

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  11. Fine. You get Orton vs Big Show, and you like it.

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  12. I LOVE your reviews. Your pornstache just makes me like you more.

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  13. Big Dick McGillicuttyOctober 28, 2013 at 7:07 AM

    HBK stuck in the middle with you, and I'm wondering what it is Bryan should do...

    ...wait, what?

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  14. Big Dick McGillicuttyOctober 28, 2013 at 7:11 AM

    Well, Big Bossman was in a HIAC.

    Just uh, putting that factoid out there.

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  15. Not at all how I pictured Andy PG. He looks and sounds like my mentor teacher at the first school I taught at, but he also sounds like a guy from an old tv show (I just can't place it yet). If there is a BoD podcast somewhere in the future, Andy and his voice should be on it. Contrast that with Meekin's voice, and we have ourselves a regular odd couple. Throw in Scott's NPR/professor voice and we have ourselves a bonafide hit.


    With that being said, I still disagree with your stance on AJ. Brie never really represented the wrestler's wrestler, still came off as slightly bitchy on the reality show, and is not over as a face (she seemed to be trying a lot more, though, these last couple weeks). I think it's smart to keep the belt on AJ. Have someone challenge and overtake her in terms of popularity before relinquishing the belt--have something we want to see happen instead of having something just happen for the sake of happening, if that makes any sense. HB-AJ and Shiesel can dominate until then.

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  16. Big Dick McGillicuttyOctober 28, 2013 at 7:22 AM

    If WWE disappoints their fans, I'll find a way to reverse that, by God.

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  17. Amazing. The original Vince bit was Stacy stripping in the ring, right?

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  18. I can only imagine what would have happened to poor Booker had he won the vote. He'd probably have laid down for HHH just on instinct.

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  19. Didn#t Orton/Show have a pretty damn good No DQ match at the PPV after Wrestlemania? Where Orton won after the punt?

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  20. Do you normally rock that stache or you just being ironic?

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  21. Even if that is the case... how does that justify kicking him? Very confusing booking right now... hopefully they find a clever way out of it.

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  22. AJ can dominate me to... ifyaknoewutimean!

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  23. Holy shit that is fantastic.

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  24. I know I've been too busy to write in recent weeks (plus nothing worth writing about has happened) but it's still kinda lame to steal the name of my column.

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  25. I know this is a terrible thing to say but fuck it I'm gonna be honest - SO HAPPY that Curtis Axel is "out indefinitely". Get well soon, just stay off TV please.

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  26. Since when has Eva Marie become popular?

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  27. I was thinking the same thing and all I could come up with was the fact she got a photo spread in Maxim

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  28. Torn hip flexors. OUCH. I've strained one before and that was unpleasant.

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  29. Yeah, that is the kind of injury you are aware of in everything you do, walking, standing, sitting... even dropping a deuce... glad he is off tv for a while, but I feel bad for him.

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  30. I know Curtis Axel is not the charismatic guy in the WWE but he is a good worker who can be relied upon to give a good match. That's more than could be said about a lot of guys on the roster.

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  31. I think Axel is doing the best he has with what he's got. He's trying to get better in and out of the ring. And torn hip flexors absolutely sucks.

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  32. Neat! Maybe we can have a tournament for the IC title! Stick it on Rollins or Reigns maybe? See what they can do with it?


    I'd be OK with Big E feuding with Ambrose for a little while. They put out a good effort last night.

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  33. Ziggler wins a one-night tournament on RAW and successfully defends the belt until Axel comes back, then they feud over the belt.




    I got this idea watching French New Wave movies.

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  34. Axel is a midcard worker at best. He is what he is, a solid guy in the ring with no personality. If this was the 1980's, he would be wrestling in the second match on the card at the MSG shows.

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  35. Here, let me fix this so it correctly matches modern booking:

    "Ziggler wins one match final against some other random guy to get the title, and then loses a series of non-title matches until Axel comes back. When Axel returns he fights Ziggler without the announcers ever mentioning that he never lost the IC title in the ring."

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  36. Well, then if this holds to how the Divas are traditionally booked, that means women's champ will challenge AJ because she's 'jealous of the attention'.

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  37. I'd do an eight man single elimination ladder


    Tournament entrants could be, Reigns, Rollins, Ziggler, Zack Ryder (I guess), Kofi, the Miz, R Truth, and an Uso or Jinder Mahal or Cesaro or something.


    I'd start today and finish up on Raw next week, with the majority taking place on Smackdown.

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  38. RAW: Fuck WWE.
    Medical: Work. And Fuck HHH.
    Axel: (tree falls). Fuck Orton.
    Total Divas: Fuck WWE.


    In summary, Fuck WWE. I got nothing else today.

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  39. Despite my rather rough opinions above, I also feel bad for the guy. Losing your spot due to injury just sucks.

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  40. THREADJACK - Here's some real news - Chris Benoit's son David is reportedly working out and planning on training to become a wrestler. Apparently he has worked out with Harry Smith and keeps in touch with Jericho. (credit lordsofpain)


    Now that would be an insane story to tell on TV.


    (note - I do not support child murder)

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  41. I don't think that giving some stitches to Ambrose and Langston is a "work" per se.

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  42. I had to put something other than "Fuck _______" there. Accuracy was NOT an issue for me today (see Axel's remark).

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  43. "Lots of notes in the margin" is a Grantland thing, not necessarily a Shoemaker thing. Bill Simmons has been putting footnotes iall over his columns for years - going back long before he started grantland.com. Shoemaker and most of the other contributors started doing that is well when they write for Grantland.

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  44. LOL at Ziggler winning.


    LOL at Ziggler successfully defending

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  45. Eva Marie is popular?

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  46. An intercontinental title tournament would basically just be an extraction mission to rescue the belt from Axel.

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  47. Watch him be the one 2nd gen guy whose name WWE doesn't change.

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  48. I heard about Benoit's kid on Wrestling Observer Radio this morning and all they said about that is Harry Smith was training him and they specifically said that they were not sure if it was for pro wrestling, grappling, or weights.

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  49. In other news, Kayfabe HBK is having fun trolling fans on Twitter

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  50. Sorry about this, but I edited my comment above once it became apparent someone already made the exact same Eva Marie comment. And so, in a forthright attempt to save face, the comment above is now a gif representing WWE's response to Daniel Bryan fans post-HITC.


    Standards and Practices at Cabspaintedyellow Ltd. thank you for your sexy contribution, and have an A-1, Alistair Rouse-free day.

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  51. Give him a mic and let him do it in the ring. Last time HBK trolled fans live, it was ALL the buys.

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  52. Agreed on both counts. Curtis Axel should be a heel R-Truth, someone with enough credibility that defeating him means you are a legitimate up-and-comer.

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  53. Theres nothing wrong with being Salvatore bellomo

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  54. An Intercontinental Title tournament with Big E mowing down the competition en route to winning the title would give him the credibility his face turn needs.

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  55. In Benoit's son's case, the WWE name and background change policy would be beneficial.

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  56. Today's Opposite Day?

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  57. Unless you are Salvatore Bellomo.
    Seriously though, everyone on the roster has a role and Axel's role is not that of someone who could be a future star.

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  58. That's some pain right there.

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  59. This everyone needs to be a main eventer or aspire to be one mentality bugs me.

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  60. Really, really glad (once again) that I did not waste time watching the PPV last night (whether on a stream, at a friend's place, or with my own $ - wait, that never happens). I would have gone in expecting Bryan to win as a logical payoff, and invested for a guy who I've been a big fan of for a while, and would have just been pissed off at the ending.


    Fuck WWE. And thank you MLB for making sure I have something to watch tonight. Go Cards.


    And again, fuck the WWE up their ass.

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  61. That's so fucking great

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  62. Im rooting for him actually. Sure, its gonna be tough with the murder cloud hanging over him but if he wants to follow in his dads footsteps...I hope he makes it.

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  63. I've been reading too many of those internet pages.

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  64. This sounds like a fun pick-up for a quick read. Something tells me I'll have heard/read most of the stories elsewhere, though.

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  65. I wanna say Simmons started that with his books, not so much his column. Either way, you're correct that it's a Grantland thing.

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  66. Well after all the shitty booking since summerslam I do appreciate them getting the ic belt on abeyance. I know it looks like a drop down for him but he's just talented enough to pull it off. Should be a nice little rub for the belt!

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  67. Why didn't Axel start until he was 28?

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  68. I disagree that he's doing his best, he's as dull as they come. In the ring he's capable sure, but he puts zero effort into his promos, he just mumbles incoherently. Wouldn't call that doing your best...

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  69. Charismatic e-Negro Jef VinsonOctober 28, 2013 at 10:52 AM

    They have to be reeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal careful with his nickname. (Nothing like strangler)
    This is a case of where you WANT the WWE name generator to pick a new name for this kid.

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  70. The storyline of him carving out his own legacy would be heavy must see TV type of shit. Google images has a couple pics of him with Jericho, he looks exactly like his Dad.

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  71. Charismatic e-Negro Jef VinsonOctober 28, 2013 at 10:54 AM

    That belt is cursed. The belt tore up his hips the way slamming the 13,125.5 pound Andre the Giant tore Hogan's back muscles.

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  72. Sound like abeyance forgot to shake someone's hand backstage.

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  73. I think mid card guys should aspire to be main eventer - especially if that leads the guy to work on improving his skills. Obviously it's not realistic for everyone to be a main eventer. And the fans and (and 'creative') for that matter shouldn't shit all over people because they aren't main eventers. And you can have a successful career without ever main eventing Wrestlemania. But there's nothing wrong with a mid-card guy trying his best to get better.

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  74. I don't.


    Face it head on, say who he is, and make his story a quest for acceptance and redemption of himself. he want to prove he is NOT his Father.




    That is compelling TV.

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  75. Agreed, book him as the underdog kid looking to make his own way and reestablish the family name. Sells itself. I wonder if the E would lock him out due to his presence bringing the Benoit publicity or if theyd see money in it.

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  76. This is great, you're stuck doing them via YouTube forever more though.

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  77. Charismatic e-Negro Jef VinsonOctober 28, 2013 at 11:07 AM

    I think they need to prove they can be one with doing something with a secondary title or feuding with an established person higher up than they are.

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  78. Zero chance that Vince picks him up.

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  79. Charismatic e-Negro Jef VinsonOctober 28, 2013 at 11:08 AM

    Hmm.. You make a compelling point.

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  80. A complete HBK heel turn would have been better than what we got last night. While I would hope for HBK promo like the night after he turned on Hogan, I'm afraid we'll get a middling "shades of grey" promo instead.

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  81. I liked your column a lot but internet statute of limitations is like 11 seconds man.

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  82. grappling? As in Amateur wrestling or what?

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  83. He could do that by not killing two people.

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  84. I agree with you. I think you expressed what I was trying to say better than I did. Aspiring to improve your standing in the card is what every wrestler should do but someone should not be written off as a failure just because they failed to get over despite their push is more what I was referring to.


    They tried with Curtis Axel and failed and that's fine but at least they have tried with him. He shouldn't be written off as a failure of a wrestler because he is a steady hand in the ring.

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  85. 1. No way does WWE hire the guy.
    2. On the extremely off chance that they did, there's no way they use his name.

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  86. Amsterdam_Adam_CurryOctober 28, 2013 at 11:40 AM

    They just would have said Shawn won anyway.

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  87. Two fans are more than one.

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  88. Simmons' oldest columns, even pre-ESPN affiliation, were riddled with footnotes.

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  89. I am guessing amateur, as Harry has trained for that in the past.
    The cut-and-paste sites reproting this story are blowing everything out of portion and exaggerating the part of him being a pro wrestler. Stories that are reported like this is a reason why people have strong negative feelings towards Meltzer as if you do not subscribe to the newsletter or hear his shows and just go by the "Newz Sites," you are generally misinformed as these sites make casual conversations that he had on his show seem like 100% confirmed reports.

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  90. I reckon he will try to apologise to Bryan, Bryan will be too pissed of to accept, Bryan and HHH get into it again, and then Shawn 'accidentally' superkicks Bryan again.

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  91. A GIF that is equal in monetary value to HitC...

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  92. That's sad because it would make such compelling television.

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  93. I don't care one bit about workrate if a guy can't show one iota of charisma or get me invested in anything he does. I bet Joe Hennig does have something in him that, if properly exploited, would get him over, but this bland, meaningless character he's been portraying ought to get axed.

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  94. If he looks too much like his dad and they don't want to use his name, but still want to make a reference to it, they could put him under a mask. Perhaps using a ring name with a winged horse motif.

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  95. The inner troll in me wants me to develop him as is and give him the Our Lady Peace theme, just to see the reaction. You know, like when HBK called out Bret in Montreal? But the opposite reaction

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  96. I still maintain that there is no way I'd let Chris Benoit's son on my TV with a live mic if I were Vince.

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  97. Total Divas' narrative takes place in its own little world. It's the WWE's version of Earth-2.

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  98. I did a double take on "a local wrestler named Harley Race." I get that Harley isn't as big of a name as Hogan, but that makes him sound like some nobody.

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  99. My bigger problem with Grantland articles is the overly long, borderline-pretentious nature of them.

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  100. Yeah...and I suppose Axel kind of fits that description. He is feuding with a person higher up than he is - and hasn't shined. He also has a secondary title and has done nothing with it, but I blame the booking for that one, since WWE has shown multiple times with multiple people that the secondary titles are meaningless.

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  101. do you find that to be a uniform thing? I'd consider it directly applicable to Simmons and some of the other guys get close- Chuck Klosterman, for instance, can do wind bag rambling with the best of them, though I do dig the guy sometimes- but there are some writers on their I consider vital within their field. Zach Lowe is the best basketball blogger alive for my money, Shoemaker is very good, and I enjoy their football blogger half the time, too.

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  102. I've only read Shoemaker (who I don't dig), Klosterman (whose writing I hate) and the movie critic guy, other than Simmons, and it kind of applies to all of them, for me. Shoemaker has his moments, I'll grant.


    Haven't read much of their hard sports coverage.

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  103. ?Shawn is one of the 2 or 3 greatest heels in WWE history, it would make too much sense to fully turn him heel.

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  104. The fantasy booker in me says that would be a great way to start and then rip off the mask after a few months a reveal his true identity.

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  105. Easier said than done.


    It is wrestling after all. Khali has only killed one less than Benoit.

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  106. oh, fair game, if I were going off of just those four, three I'd agree with immediately, so that's an entirely fair criticism in my mind.

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  107. Yeah it might help draw people and HBK would have no problems putting over.....oh shit, that's the plan. No way HHH lays down for Bryan, so HHH convinced Michaels to come back so SHAWN can take the pinfall. Genius!

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  108. "The murder was a one-time thing." Anyone, other than Scott Keith, who can give me the name of the person that said that quote (in regards to Bret Hart was worse of a person than the guy that kill Bruiser Brody) wins Blog of Doom first prize of the day.

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  109. You mean the name "postgame"? The one that's been used for every football, basketball and baseball wrap-up show for decades?

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  110. Over / under on Axel now being on an Evan Bourne-style medical leave and we never see him again?

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  111. I think you'd almost have to do it that way, because the storyline of "I'm restoring my tarnished family name to what it was" works if it's, say, Ken Pareta's kid in 1984, because his dad was a crap worker who went to jail for busting up a McDonald's. The spread from what the Benoit name used to mean (short list of the Greatest Worker Ever) to what it means now (three dead people and the poster child for Don't Try This at Home) is much, much wider.

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  112. Meatloaf songs are all overly long and crossed-the-borderline of pretentious in nature. Doesn't mean that we can't like them. Hell, that's why I like them.

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  113. But do his footnotes ever have footnotes?

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  114. I'm not going to downvote, but while some of the articles might seem pretentious at times, I actually enjoy the length of the articles. In this Twitter-fied world of 160 characters of less, long form articles are a throwback. I almost think the site wasn't designed for someone who always wants to stop in for a few minutes and then leave, it's more of a destination, stay for a little while type site. Perfect example, the Bill & Jalen's NBA preview, when I first saw what they were doing, I couldn't imagine them doing 30, 15 to 25 minute podcasts on each team, I thought it would get tedious quick...turns out I'm kinda sad the last one will be airing tomorrow (Bulls #1 yay), because it turned out to be way more entertaining than I thought.

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  115. At least someone's enjoying the angle

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  116. Dunno if it's a must buy, but seems interesting. Of course you could probably research every shoot fight and tawdry story here.

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  117. I imagine the book is NOT aimed at people like us, who would know who Harley Race is, the problem with that being people like us would probably be the only people who would buy a book like that. Really bad catch-22.

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  118. Will he cover the Macho Man- Stephanie McMahon rumor?

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  119. Well the WWE is still hyping up Tamina Snuka's lineage, so why should Benoit be any different?

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  120. ONLY good thing about this attack is that it guarantees Kane & Daniel Bryan team up again.. with the eventual Kane heel turn.

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  121. Yes, that is my normal stache. Nothing ironic.

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  122. Shawn is kinda dumb. And kicking people is a natural reflex to the man.

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  123. Big Dick McGillicuttyOctober 29, 2013 at 2:06 AM

    I believe it was.

    There are some funny fucks out there to come up with something like that.

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  124. Hey, that's fine for you. I hate it.

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  125. Again, I don't read the NBA stuff, but the stuff I have read on the site about other things come off as masturbatory. Just my view on it, I guess.

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