Great
American Bash 1998
Date:
June 14, 1998
Location:
Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance:
12,810
Commentators:
Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan
Reviewed by Tommy Hall
We're
at the big summer PPV which originally gave us everything between the
first War Games and the worst major PPV of all time, so it's hard to
say what to expect here. There's a double main event with Sting vs.
Giant for control of both tag titles and an actual tag match of
Hart/Hogan vs. Piper/Savage with Piper and Savage agreeing to fight
each other after it's over. Hopefully the lower part of the card can
save the top guys again. Let's get to it.
The
opening video is a seizure inducing series of videos of the people in
almost all the matches with various patriotic symbols in between.
The
announcers talk about the main events a bit.
Gene
talks about the Giant vs. Sting tag title match. Apparently Giant
will pick Disciple if he wins both belts. That's quite the team.
Now
the announcers preview match #7 (really 8th) match in the
Booker vs. Benoit series. We get a video of the original seventh
match from Thunder where Bret Hart tried to give Benoit the match but
Chris didn't want to win it that way. Booker agreed to another match
tonight, winner take all.
Booker
T vs. Chris Benoit
The
winner gets a TV Title shot tonight against Finlay. Feeling out
process to start with Benoit hooking a very quick armdrag to take
over. Booker might have a bad knee coming in after the match on
Thursday but he comes right back with an armdrag of his own. Benoit
bails to the floor and it's right back to a standoff a few seconds
later. Booker grabs a hammerlock to take Chris down before hooking a
half nelson into a rollup for two. Benoit fights up and cranks on a
hammerlock of his own, only to be elbowed in the face.
Benoit
is sent into the corner and peppered with more forearms before
charging into a boot to the jaw. Chris will have none of that and
takes out the bad knee with a dragon screw legwhip to get his first
real advantage. They head to the corner for some WOO inspiring chops
from the Canadian before he elbows Booker in the face for two. We
hit a chinlock on Mr. T. as Tony compares Booker vs. Benoit seven
times to Finlay fighting guys like High Voltage. There's a snap
suplex for two on Booker as things slow down a bit.
Benoit's
belly to back superplex is countered into a cross body for two but
Benoit comes right back by stomping Booker down and putting on
another chinlock. Booker fights up again but a hard knee to the
stomach puts him right back down. Benoit drapes Booker's ribs across
the top rope for two but doesn't seem sure how to follow up. Back to
the chinlock as the fans immediately start cheering for Booker again.
Off to a surfboard hold with Benoit's knees in the back but Booker
fights up and scores with a powerslam.
T
goes up but Benoit steps to the side to avoid a spinning cross body
ala Samoa Joe in a nice counter. A Crossface attempt lands right in
the ropes so Benoit goes right back to the chinlock. Booker elbows
up and hits an enziguri to put Benoit back down. There's the snap
spinebuster followed by a flapjack, allowing Booker to spin up. The
missile dropkick is broken up with Booker getting crotched on the
top, allowing Chris to superplex Booker down in a great looking
crash.
Neither
guy can immediately follow up though until Benoit gets a very delayed
cover for two. Here are the rolling Germans but Booker breaks it up
before the third. Instead Benoit busts out the dragon suplex for a
very near fall. Booker is sent into the corner and tries the
spinning sunset flip but Benoit is still in the middle of the ring in
a nice bit of psychology. Benoit suplexes him down again and hits
the Swan Dive but still can't cover. Booker comes back with a side
kick to the back of the head, setting up the missile dropkick for the
100% clean pin.
Rating:
B. This would have been better
with a minute or two cut out to lower the chinlockery levels, but
even with them this was a great opening match and a perfect way to
fire up the crowd. It's one of those matches where both guys come
out looking great though I would have liked to see Booker win more.
Still though, very few complaints here.
Chavo
is on the internet and says he needs the punishment that Eddie will
give him tonight.
Saturn
vs. Kanyon
I
believe this is Kanyon's first match under that name. Someone comes
out in the Mortis gear but the real Kanyon sneaks in behind Saturn
and gets two off a rollup. A neckbreaker gets the same as Kanyon
starts fast. Saturn gets stomped down in the corner as Kanyon still
has his vest on. An electric chair into a faceplant gets two but
Kanyon has to deck Kidman off the apron. There's a clothesline to
put Saturn on the floor as this is all Kanyon so far. Saturn trips
him up though and scores with a slingshot splash for no cover.
Kanyon
gets back up and hits a kind of Fameasser out of the corner as Lodi,
Riggs and Horace are all on the floor. Saturn kicks him to the floor
for a triple team from the Flock, followed by a BIG dive over the top
to put everyone down. Nick Patrick throws the Flock out and Kanyon
is whipped into the barricade (called the post by Tony) to injure his
ribs. Back in and Saturn kicks away at the head and puts on an ankle
lock. Off to something resembling Cattle Mutilation but Kanyon gets
his feet in the ropes.
Kanyon
is crotched on the ropes and a springboard clothesline from Saturn
puts both guys on the floor. Saturn throws a chair into the ring as
apparently this is Raven's Rules. Perry uses the chair as a
springboard for a dropkick in the corner and a Sabu Triple Jump
Moonsault gets two. Saturn tries a sunset flip but gets caught in
midair with a northern lights suplex for a close two. Saturn comes
right back with a swinging neckbreaker for two of his own and we hit
the chinlock.
They
get back up with Saturn getting suplexed down and then dropped throat
first across the top rope. A jumping back elbow to the jaw puts
Saturn down and a fireman's carry flapjack gets another near fall.
Kanyon's downward spiral is countered into a half nelson suplex from
Saturn but the Death Valley Driver is escaped as well.
Saturn
kicks Kanyon in the face but he loads up a superplex instead of
covering. Kanyon fights back and both guys get crotched before
falling out to the floor. Cue the guy who played Mortis
earlier....and another guy in a Mortis mask as well. The Mortises
(Mortisi?) slug it out and brawl to the floor as Kanyon hits a quick
downward spiral for the pin.
Rating:
B. Take two guys who can do a
ton of moves in the ring and let them beat the tar out of each other
for fifteen minutes. The pair of masked guys near the end had me
worried but thankfully they didn't do anything but throw Saturn back
inside. Kanyon had a ton of potential as the guy just showing off
every night but like everything else in WCW, that wouldn't get very
far.
One
of the Mortises holds up Kanyon's arm but pulls him into a DDT. That
one is Raven but we don't get to see who is under the other hood.
Raven says Saturn had one job but couldn't even do that right so
here's the Flock for the big beatdown. Saturn will have none of that
though and fights them off, including a suplex for Raven.
To
recap so far, we're about 45 minutes into this show and two of the
matches have been GREAT. You've had Benoit, Booker, Saturn and
Kanyon tearing the house down and firing the crowd up over a match
for a shot at the lower card title and a story that makes little
sense. These guys are tearing the house down, but how long would it
be before any of them got anywhere? Nearly two years, with Booker
and Benoit becoming world champions because the original choices for
champion were unavailable. It's amazing what politics and idiocy can
do to a company.
We
recap Malenko vs. Jericho since Slamboree. Basically Jericho has
been demanding the title back because Malenko wasn't announced as an
entrant in the battle royal and saying Dean was letting his dead dad
down. Malenko agreed to give up the title for a shot against
Jericho. Chris freaked out because he wanted to be handed the title
instead of having a match for it.
Cruiserweight
Title: Dean Malenko vs. Chris Jericho
The
title is vacant coming in. They stare each other down before
charging into a double clothesline. Jericho pops back up and hits
another clothesline to take over but Dean comes right back with a
German suplex. Malenko stomps Jericho down in the corner as Chris
screams like a coward. Jericho gets up a boot to stop a charging
Malenko before putting on a headlock. Malenko rolls out of a quick
Liontamer attempt and gets two off a suplex. Dean puts a knee in
Jericho's back and pulls on his arms to give us more screaming.
Dean
whips him into the corner for a Flair Flip, but Jericho takes it two
steps further by hitting his head on the post and getting caught in
the Tree of Woe. Jericho falls out to the floor but slides back in
to hit a pescado to the floor to take over. Back in and a suplex
gets two for the blonde before it's off to a sleeper. Dean fights
out but gets suplexed back down for another two.
Jericho
is getting frustrated at not being able to finish Malenko so he
chokes Dean on the top rope. A slam sets up the Lionsault but
Malenko rolls away to get a breather. Malenko comes back with a leg
lariat and a rolling cradle for two. A middle rope facejam out of
the corner gets another close two and Dean puts Jericho on the top.
Jericho is able to fight out of the super gutbuster and hook a top
rope hurricanrana. A very quick cover gets two for Chris but his
powerbomb is blocked by right hands.
Jericho
rolls through the cover into a regular Boston crab but Malenko
quickly makes the ropes. Dean tries to jump over Jericho in the
corner but gets caught in an Alabama Slam. Jericho still can't hook
the Liontamer so Dean grabs the Cloverleaf. Chris gets to the ropes
even faster than Dean did and grabs a quick butterfly backbreaker.
Jericho slaps him in the face and says Dean is nothing, just like his
dead father. That's enough for Dean and the brawl goes to the floor
where Malenko cracks Jericho with a chair for a DQ.
Rating:
B-. Logical but frustrating
ending aside, this is the third straight good match of the night.
Malenko snapping is a great thing to see and Jericho being forced to
shut up and wrestle is always worth a look. This feud has been
really solid and Jericho using his brain to take away Malenko's calm
was really smart.
Dean
isn't done and takes Jericho to the back, ramming him into various
things along the way. They go outside the arena with Jericho being
rammed into a mailbox. They get too near the traffic and security
steps in, so Jericho sprints across the street and into another
building. Jericho is announced as the winner via DQ.
Eddie
begs Chavo for forgiveness and for Grandma to get him out of this.
Juventud
Guerrera's music starts but stops after a second so the announcers
can talk about Jericho having a claim to the Cruiserweight Title.
Video
on Juventud Guerrera who won't give up. By this I mean him walking
around ancient ruins in Mexico.
Juventud
Guerrera vs. Reese
Standard
giant bully vs. scrappy little guy story coming into this. Guerrera
prays before the match starts and we get a LONG staredown. Juvy
tries a right hand but is easily sent backwards into the corner. He
charges right back and scores with some shots to the face but Reese
shoves him right back down. Guerrera bails to the floor and gets
Reese to chase him, only to slide back in and try a dive. Reese
pulls him out of the air and tosses Juvy back inside but the small
man kicks at the knee as Reese gets back in.
Reese
grabs Juvy by the head and holds him back to show just how much
bigger he is than Guerrera. Juvy goes up and tries a choke before
ripping at his face. Reese goes down to one knee where he still
comes up to Guerrera's shoulders. The big man finally just drops
back to crush Juvy and the beating begins. There's a backbreaker
with Juvy being bent over Reese's knee like a toy.
A
HUGE beal sends Guerrera across the ring and Reese stands on his hair
and pulls on Juvy's arms. There's the bearhug with Reese shaking
Juvy around like he's made of paper. Reese lets him go so Juvy kicks
him low a few times, which is legal since Reese is in the Flock ala
Saturn earlier. In a smart move, Reese drops down to a knee to punch
Juvy in the face.
A
vertical suplex puts Juvy down but he climbs up the referee to beat
the ten count. Now Reese gets a chair but referee Charles Robinson
pulls it away. Juvy goes up top for a hurricanrana but gets caught
in midair. Lodi has the referee for no apparent reason and Van
Hammer pops up to blast Reese with the chair, allowing Juvy to flip
him over (even more awkwardly than you would imagine) and get a pin
with Reese's shoulders only about four inches off the mat.
Rating:
C+. They were THIS close to
hitting this out of the park but the ending didn't quite work. The
hurricanrana looking terrible and the pin being a disaster brings
this down but that's about its only problem. They had the crowd
right where they wanted them and could have blown the roof off if the
underdog won like he should have. Hammer coming in was fine as if
Juvy overcomes too much it becomes comical which is the wrong idea.
This was a tightrope to walk and they almost pulled it off.
Eddie
Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.
This
is the match I've wanted to see more than any other after seeing the
buildup. Eddie tried to turn Chavo into an Eddie clone and kept
tormenting Chavo when he couldn't get it right. Chavo finally
snapped and completely turned the tables on Eddie, sending his uncle
running scared. Chavo is all ticked off to start and slaps Eddie in
the corner, causing the uncle to pound him in the face. Eddie takes
him down with a trip but Chavo gets on top and pounds away with right
hands.
Back
up and Chavo rushes at Eddie but gets dropped face first on the top
turnbuckle. Eddie misses a charge into the post though and Chavo
rams him into all three buckles in a corner a total of about 15
times. Chavo drags him around the ring by the hair and dropkicks him
down, sending Eddie out to the floor. He tries to walk out but Chavo
is still ticked off. They head back in where Eddie kicks the rope
into Chavo to take over.
Back
in and Eddie works on the arm for a bit before sending Chavo to the
apron. The nephew goes up top and tries a flip attack but lands on
his feet, only to run across the ring and go up top for a moonsault
press, good for two. Eddie sends him right back into the corner and
out to the floor as this has been very physical for the first six
minutes or so. Back inside and a brainbuster puts Chavo down, but
Eddie slaps him in the face to make Chavo snap again. Chavo chases
Eddie around the ring until Eddie gets back inside and hides behind
the referee.
The
distraction lets Eddie get in a shot to the knee and Chavo stops
cold. A dropkick to the knee sends Chavo down in a heap so Eddie
puts on a figure four. Eddie yells at the fans and lets the hold go
before putting on the Gory Special. Again Eddie lets go of the hold
and kicks Chavo in the face to set up a camel clutch. The fans chant
for Goldberg so Eddie lets go of the hold to act as a conductor.
There's an over the shoulder backbreaker but Eddie spins him around
and drops Chavo down to the mat for no cover.
Chavo
blocks a slam and LAUNCHES Eddie over the top in a backdrop. A big
running dive completely misses Eddie as Chavo jumps too high but it
looked great. Now the fans want Flair because a good match with a
good story isn't good enough for them anymore. Back in and a bulldog
gets two for the nephew but he takes WAY too long setting up a frog
splash, allowing Eddie to shake the ropes to bring him down. Eddie's
frog splash misses though but he still blocks a tornado DDT. Chavo
is sent to the floor so he springboards back in for a tornado DDT and
the stunning upset pin.
Rating:
B. I can't believe I'm saying
this but this has been an AWESOME show so far with good match after
good match. This was the perfect blowoff to the story with Chavo
showing he was learning the entire time, but not in the way Eddie was
hoping for. He's gone from a generic cruiserweight to an interesting
character who just pinned a former US Champion clean. Good stuff
here, as has been the case all night.
We
get the Piper vs. Savage confrontation from Nitro to remind us that
the last hour and forty five minutes of awesome are going to be
brought down into the abyss very soon. Given that there are five
matches left and about an hour to go, things are about to get very
screwy in a hurry.
TV
Title: Booker T vs. Fit Finlay
Booker
doesn't have any elbow pads or gloves on here which is a weird look
for him. There's an undefined extended time limit over the usual ten
minutes here. Booker sends him into the buckle to start followed by
an awkward looking clothesline. A kick to the face gets two for
Booker but he misses an enziguri, allowing Finlay to hook a leg lock.
Back up and Finlay forearms his way out of a headlock, only to have
Booker come back with a flying forearm for two.
Some
chops put Finlay on the floor but he comes back in to block an ax
kick and go after the leg again. There's a half crab followed by a
regular crank on the leg to keep Booker in trouble. Finlay slams the
knee onto the apron and wraps it around the ropes for good measure.
Booker comes back with the spinning sunset flip out of the corner for
two, only to have the champion come back with another leg crank. He
wraps Booker's knee around his neck ala the Brock Lock before going
off to a kind of half Liontamer.
Booker
rolls away and just pounds Fit in the head with right hands, only to
have Finlay come right back with a shin breaker and another leg hold.
They head outside again where the referee has to stop Finlay from
getting a chair. The knee is wrapped around the post and Finlay hits
a Vader Bomb for no cover. Instead he yells at the crowd and kicks
Booker's knee even more but stops to yell at the fans.
Booker
comes back with a spinwheel kick and a powerslam before hitting the
ax kick. He spins up so Finlay clotheslines him inside out. The
tombstone from Finlay is countered into an AWFUL looking sequence
where Booker was supposed to backflip into a tombstone of his own,
but instead he fell down and got covered for two. Back up and Finlay
misses a charge into the “post”, allowing Booker to hit a
kneeling piledriver (Finlay was facing forward but Booker dropped to
his knees like a tombstone) for the pin and the title.
Rating:
D+. And there goes the really
good match streak. The match wasn't horrible but you can only watch
Finlay lay on Booker's leg and pull on the ankle so many times in
thirteen minutes. The ending was HORRIBLE too with the sequence
being botched and the ending coming out of nowhere. Also Booker not
selling the knee at all after coming in with a bad knee and having
Finlay work on it for ten minutes was inexcusable. I think everyone
knew Booker would win here after taking the series, which made him
look like a star.
US
Title: Konnan vs. Goldberg
Hennig
and Rude are with Goldberg's dinner tonight. Goldberg is now from
Parts Unknown instead of Atlanta. To say the place has gone nuts is
an understatement. Konnan is easily shoved to the floor and wants to
know what that was. Back in and Goldberg grabs a headlock followed
by a botched roll thru into a legbar. Konnan grabs a rope and gets
two feet up in the corner to stop a charge. Not that it matters as
the spear and Jackhammer make Goldberg 100-0.
Post
match Hennig and Rude turn on Goldberg and join the Black and White.
That's the best move as neither of the fit with the Wolfpack at all.
Luger and Nash come out for the save.
I'm
going to pause for a minute here and recommend that you go do
something else. So far this has been an excellent show with logical
booking, good matches and hard work from almost everyone involved.
No more good can come from the remaining parts of this show. You
would be better off being stuffed inside a bag and beaten with large
wooden clubs. I might recommend going to a blind dentist with
Parkinson's Disease for a root canal. Or better yet just go watch
the first two hours of this show again. Don't say I didn't warn you
if you keep going.
Roddy
Piper/Randy Savage vs. Hollywood Hogan/Bret Hart
This
is the real main event though we've been promised Savage vs. Piper
post match as a “bonus”. Savage is Wolfpack, Hogan is Black and
White, Hart is technically NWO but never made it official and Piper
is one of the last heroes remaining in WCW. He might be the only one
in the main event picture actually. Sign in the crowd: Savage/Piper
vs. Hart/Hogan: WELCOME TO JURASSIC PARK!
To
the shock of no one, it's a stall fest to start. It's Hogan vs.
Piper to get us going but Roddy spits at Bret. Hogan backs into the
corner so Piper calls time out before jumping him for our first
contact about two minutes in. Hogan gets poked in the eyes and has
his bandana taken off to reveal a bald head. Off to Savage who rams
Hogan face first into the buckle before it's back to Piper for some
biting and right hands.
Disciple
hits Piper in the back with the world title to give Hogan control.
Yeah remember the guy that has been beaten up like he's in a Three
Stooges short is world champion. Bret gets the tag and hits a few
forearms before bringing Hogan back in for right hands. Piper
staggers around and won't go down so Bret cheats a bit to get him on
the mat. Bret comes back in for a Russian legsweep and the middle
rope elbow for two.
Hogan
chokes Piper from the apron but Piper comes back with one of the
worst small packages ever. He flails his arms and tags Savage which
doesn't count for no apparent reason so Hart puts on a front
facelock. Piper makes another tag which doesn't count due to Patrick
not seeing it, allowing for another double team. Savage comes over
with a chair and puts it on Piper's chest so Bret's headbutt hits
steel.
The
hot tag brings in Savage and the pop from the fans pales in
comparison to pretty much any given pop of the night so far. Hart
and Hogan stop Savage pretty easily, only to have Hogan deck Hart by
mistake. Everything breaks down and Savage goes up for the elbow,
only to have his knee give out. Hogan and Piper head outside where
Hogan wraps Savage's leg around the post. The Sharpshooter goes on
and Savage is done.
Rating:
F. I would pay big money to be
in the production meetings to hear Hogan and Bischoff explain why
Hollywood should be pushed so hard. These matches aren't even
acceptable or decent. They're absolutely horrid with no redeeming
value whatsoever and making the entire promotion look like a joke. I
can't believe I'm saying this, but Hogan is coming off like the Honky
Tonk Man. He wrestles glorified comedy matches, gets destroyed for
good chunks of them and then survives through some sort of
shenanigan. I knew these matches were bad but I didn't realize how
horrible they really were.
Since
that wasn't enough though, IT'S A RODDY PIPER DOUBLE FEATURE!
Roddy
Piper vs. Randy Savage
Bret
still has Savage in the Sharpshooter when the bell rings so Randy is
pretty much done already. Wait or was that the closing bell for the
opening match? Gene comes in to talk to Piper but he helps Savage up
instead, only to have Macho punch Piper. Savage chokes him down and
actually hits the elbow but Piper, superhuman that he is, gets to
kick out at two. The referee gets punched out so Piper hits Savage
low and pokes him in the eyes. A figure four makes Savage quit for
the second time in five minutes with his finisher only getting two in
between. That'll teach him for getting cheered.
Tag
Titles: Sting vs. Giant
So
if you haven't been following the Nitro and Thunder reviews leading
up to this, you're a schnook. Go read them now. Anyway, Sting and
Giant won the belts when Giant joined the Black and White. Sting
turned down an offer to do the same and is in the Red and Black, but
the titles were held up because Giant tried to replace him with Brian
Adams, leading to this match. The winner gets to pick his new
partner to be the tag champions.
Giant
smokes a cigarette on the way to the ring to get the fans to boo him.
He blows smoke in Sting's face in the corner but misses a charge
into the corner, allowing Sting to fire off kicks to the ribs. The
Stinger Splash lands on a boot though and Giant sends him to the
floor. Back in and Sting's cross body just bounces off of Giant so
he lifts Sting up into a gorilla press, LAUNCHING him face first into
the buckle. That looked awesome.
We
hit the bearhug for a good while as we're almost out of PPV time.
Sting bites his way out of the hold and dropkicks the knee out. A
Stinger Splash to the back and one to the front have Giant in trouble
and there's a slam for good measure. The Deathlock goes on but Giant
easily powers out of it. Instead a Death Drop gets two and Sting
blocks a chokeslam. Another Death Drop gets another two but a Death
Drop from the middle rope is enough for the pin and the titles.
Rating:
D+. It wasn't a masterpiece but
this was better than most recent Nitro main events. This felt like a
dark match to send the fans home happy and there's really nothing
wrong with that. It ends the stupid titles in two camps story and
lets Sting pick a partner later on. In a word, this was acceptable.
Overall
Rating: B. If you cut out the
tag match and put in ANYTHING else, this is one of the best PPVs WCW
ever put on. Everything ranges between very solid to acceptable at
worst and most of the booking makes perfect sense. That tag match
really hurts it though because it's just so horrid.
If
I were booking this show, I would have thought about putting Goldberg
on last. It's a B-level show and the last match was just less than
seven minutes long and for the tag belts. Make Goldberg vs. Konnan a
five minute match for the US Title and do the Hennig/Rude turn the
next night on Nitro. On top of that it was to make him 100-0. That
would send them home happy. Shockingly good show here though,
embarrassing real main event aside.
Remember to check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com and head over to my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:
http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6
I didn't know Billy Corgan was a wrestling fan until I watched the newest ECW documentary a couple of months ago. The documentary said that Paul tried to get Billy to invest in ECW right before they died but he didn't do it. This could be fun.
ReplyDeletePaging Jef Vinson.
ReplyDeleteThe one where he takes over the town pool is awesome.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_7PB3XEW4U
I don't understand why Virgil became a mute, though.
I hope he's a better owner than a musician.
ReplyDeleteBetter him than Scott Weiland.
ReplyDeleteHe runs an indy out of Chicago. I have no idea if it is worth a damn or not.
ReplyDeleteDid they ever explain how he got his money?
ReplyDeleteHERE COMED THE PUMPKIN...
ReplyDeleteOn the one hand, beautiful woman ass.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, torn loyalties between Scott and the clear gimmick infringement against "Man For All Seasons" Jef Vinson.
But still, beautiful woman ass.
I think he may have posted a link in a different thread, actually.
ReplyDeleteBecause it was better than hearing him talk?
ReplyDeleteYou know, Dibiase was great and all, and I know most of you dug this gimmick. I never really understood it. Why? If I had all that cash, the last damn thing I would be doing is wrestling. I would be holed up somewhere on my own damn mountain, living in a nice house and pursuing all my vices for as long as I could. I wouldn't do a damn thing Ted did.
ReplyDeleteBut, maybe that's just me.
Yeah I heard he was running a company out of Chicago and it's one of the reasons why I thought he'd be an interesting investor even before his name was released. I have no idea if his indy is decent or not. Maybe he'd be able to lure Paul from WWE as a "partner" of sorts.
ReplyDeleteInheritance from his dad, Iron Mike Dibiase.
ReplyDeleteWhile this is appreciated, Vinson already posted a gif of some of this in the Impact Thread.
ReplyDeleteThis could be really good. I hope he changes the name and look of the promotion. I also hope he gets some good people around him, like a Jim Ross.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to see that checks aren't the only things bouncing at TNA.
ReplyDeleteUWF severance package.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.resistancepro.com/
ReplyDeleteOnly guys on the next card that I've ever heard of are Jay Bradley and Madman Pondo.
Damn, that's fine.
ReplyDeleteEVERYTHING IS FINE.
The story is Pat Patterson offered DiBiase the contract but wouldn't tell him his gimmick only telling DiBiase it's the gimmick Vince would use if he were a wrestler. I guess this is why this gimmick keeps getting rehashed.
ReplyDelete"Obviously Billy has more money than he knows what to do with."
ReplyDeleteIn that case, I'd like to request $17 for a pushbroom rebristling.
i can appreciate her trying, but she aint TWERK TEAM.
ReplyDeleteThey should just re-edit Impact so this replaces all Dixie Carter segments.
ReplyDeletePondo? The guy people hire when they can't get The Necro Butcher?
ReplyDeleteJay Bradley is the Boom Stick guy right? At least he has that going for him.
ReplyDeleteLet's hope this action never ends.
ReplyDeleteIf this was Daniel Bryan twerking this board might explode
ReplyDelete*grabs drill*
ReplyDeleteRage in a Cage Wrestling.
ReplyDeleteYou have to understand, wrestling used to exist in its own world.
ReplyDeleteI'm well aware. I watched this promo as it aired for the first time in my market. Even then, I just didn't understand why a guy with limitless cash gave two pieces of crap about wrestling. I know, I know. It's a "me" problem.
ReplyDeleteImagine Dibiase and Virgil under Russo. Virgil would have stood up for himself after two weeks... Then would have swerved us all and Virgil really had no problem working for Ted... Then we would have been swerved again when we find out it was Virgil that had the money all along.
ReplyDeleteSomeone actually called this in the earlier thread...
ReplyDeleteDude. Stop. My head is gonna go all "Scanners" on me.
ReplyDeleteVinsons been rocking this for like a week. Get with the times Scott!!
ReplyDeleteMount Rushmore of asses: Vida Guerrero, Brooke, Shyla Stylez, AND....?
That'd be a fun game. Rebooking classic angles with Russo circa 2000 in charge.
ReplyDeleteSo....
ReplyDeleteWas Million Dollar Man kind of Vince's way of having Ric Flair without actually having Ric Flair?
Well if he's lining up to buy TNA, he won't have more money than he knows what to do with for too much longer.
ReplyDeleteI'm telling Google.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.memegeneokerlund.com/meme/cpniq7
ReplyDeleteThe triumphant return of Wrestling Society X?
ReplyDeleteA quickie Google from celebritynetworth:
ReplyDelete"Billy Corgan was born in Illinois and has an estimated net worth of $50 million dollars. A singer-songwriter, musician, author, and producer, Billy Corgan co-founded the group, Smashing Pumpkins, in the late 80's. The band became hugely successful and toured extensively, but fell apart multiple times due to inter-band tensions and drug issues. Currently, though the band is still touring, Billy Corgan is the only remaining original member in the group."
He sure does have some fuck you money.
Maybe that's what Ted did do, pursue his vice. You'd be drowning yourself in booze and hookers, he did everything shy of buying the WWF to become it's champion. Different strokes.
ReplyDeleteMickie James.
ReplyDeleteFirst move is he makes the entire roster shave their heads and don silver pants and Zero shirts. Second move, he insists on performing all of the wrestling moves during recorded shows. Third move, Jimmy Chamberlin gets a spot on the booking team.
ReplyDeleteDon't think it would be hookers so much as certain types of females. But, I suppose you do have a point.
ReplyDeleteSo bimbos. 6 of one, half-dozen of the other.
ReplyDeleteNever figured the lead singer of the Smashing Pumpkins to be a wrestling fan.
ReplyDeleteChrist. Judgmental much? Maybe I didn't mean "bimbos" or "hookers." Maybe I'd start a home for runaways who have no hope in order to try and rebuild their hope and self esteem from the ground up.
ReplyDelete.....you're not a bad liar, per se, you're just not that creative.
ReplyDeleteWell...build them up, then brainwash them into being sex slaves. Once they're 18, of course.
ReplyDelete...been there, (wish I'd) done that.
ReplyDeleteWe can never post this enough...unless there are some behind the scenes footage we don't know about.
ReplyDeleteTrue, but in her defense who really is?
ReplyDeleteThis has nothing to do with what's being discussed. But, it is a sufficiently funny "dafuq" that I feel compelled to share.
ReplyDeletehttp://media.tumblr.com/f4962102fa354838dd0491654eb1a1d2/tumblr_inline_mntt5pF9481qz4rgp.jpg
Bring on the downvotes, but she has the most overrated ass of all time. And she can't twerk for shit.
ReplyDeleteI've said this before. I've seen him at TNA house shows before.
ReplyDeleteNo, Velvet's ass is the most overrated.
ReplyDeleteSorry, bro. Her butt's been underrated since '07.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I've never found twerking to be sexy. Another also, twerking has been around for the past decade. Stupid white people.
Twerking has been going on in Jamaican dance halls for decades. Blame that Miley Cyrus fir fucking it up.
ReplyDeleteBrooke's ass is amazing. I agree with you on Velvet, who is overrated in general.
ReplyDeleteDamnit, I thought this was gonna be about Perry Saturn...
ReplyDeleteFigured.
ReplyDeleteActually, the only part of this video I found impressive was the one-handed handstand twerking. The rest of it fell firmly into the category of "meh" for me.
ReplyDeleteYou just made me a little hard.
ReplyDeleteHe's a massive fan. Was on TV with ECW, and helps run a Chicago indy.
ReplyDeleteThis is Naomi. (HI Naomi!!) Show us wha'chu workin; with, gitl...
ReplyDeletehttp://i.minus.com/ibhbTySJC5PsXL.gif
That's Dawn Marie.
ReplyDeleteWHEN DID SHE GET THT?!?!
ReplyDeleteSorry about the last gif. This is what I wanted to post:
ReplyDeletehttp://i.imgur.com/o2lOXAM.gif
Naomi is making her way up that list
ReplyDeletehttp://www.majhost.com/gallery/rollinman09/Stuff-10/ohmaigah2m48a.gif
ReplyDeleteWhich brings the important question: What's Heyman's deal with WWE right now? I'm sure there's a non-compete but is he on a year-to-year deal?
ReplyDelete"IDGAF pussy is pussy"
ReplyDelete"does anyone else hear a kid say "dumb old fucker" at 2:35 ????"
ReplyDeleteSo it would seem.
ReplyDeleteJust came in my pants from reading your post.
ReplyDeletehttp://epicwtfs.com/page/154
ReplyDeleteHe co-wrote Born in the USA.
ReplyDeleteWell that killed my high.
ReplyDeleteLater..
I aim to please.
ReplyDeleteWhen I lost in the finals of the THQ Superstar Challenge in Detroit, one of my prizes was a just-behind-ringside seat sitting next to Billy. Or rather, next to his seven seats. It was me, empty seat, security guard, empty seat, Billy, empty seat, security guard, empty seat. He was gracious, though, and signed autographs for anyone who asked. Those seats were $750 retail, so he paid $3750 to see WrestleMania. He's definitely a fan.
ReplyDeleteThat's when we find out that Virgil did hate Dibiase and the previous swerve in itself was a swerve because the swerve was actually the truth. Then they have a match with the money on the line. It doesn't matter who wins because the fact either one of them is rich will never be mentioned again.
ReplyDeleteMost over body part in the business
ReplyDeleteI don't get it? He was great musician.
ReplyDeleteThe video would be 1,000 times better if she was wearing booty shorts instead.
ReplyDeleteIMO, AJ Lee and Tessmacher have the best buns in the business right now.
ReplyDeleteI only knew about it because Dave Meltzer had the link in today's Observer news update. I assume Scott found it there as well...
ReplyDeleteHe appeared on an ECW show or two as I recall.
ReplyDeleteAm I the only one who remembers the time Bret Hart said "Despite Diesel's rage, he's still just a rat in a cage!" in a promo around early 1996?
ReplyDeleteIs Necro Butcher hard to get?
ReplyDeleteYOU DID IT!!!
ReplyDeleteScott doesn't read the comments very often
ReplyDeleteI seem to recall that as well. Bret was a rock fan during the 90s.
ReplyDeleteHe also did an awful promo video for TNA where he did a reworked spoken word version of Bullet with Butterfly Wings, mentioning something about a rat in a six sided cage, if I recall correctly. He also licensed TNA a few SP songs for PPV themes.
ReplyDeleteHe's a fan, for sure. I'm just unclear as to why he hasn't thrown the same offers at Vince. Vince would have no clue who Corgan is and the Pumpkins haven't been relevant in a while, but certainly someone at the WWE would know what to do with their involvement and a song like BwBW or Zero.
Why do you feel the need to specify that it is a woman ass?
ReplyDeleteI believe Corgan lives a fairly spartan lifestyle and has (wisely) saved his money. MC Hammer had a fortune off of one song and the Pumpkins had a slew of big hits in the 90s.
ReplyDeleteOpposite Man has struck again!
ReplyDeleteBecause.
ReplyDeleteApropos of nothing, I would never have expected Brooke to stick around in the industry as long as she has. Guess she IS a fan, after all.
ReplyDeleteIt could still be Shane!
ReplyDeleteNumerous people did
ReplyDeleteBecause Vince is apparently the only person on the planet that thinks Flo Rida is worth a fuck...
ReplyDelete....I don't know. I suppose it's my attempt at dry, obnoxious humor?
ReplyDeleteCoco
ReplyDeleteThe world is a vampire, indeed.
ReplyDeleteA quick glance at his charting singles shows he's dropped off this year, but regardless of what you think of him or his music, he had a few chart-topping singles under his belt and one of THE hits of the summer the year he performed at WM in his home state.
ReplyDeleteI think ANY musical performer at WM that isn't playing a theme as a wrestler heads down the ramp is a waste of time and money, but it satisfies Vince's unwavering desire to be acknowledged by celebrities and as celebrities went in 2012 in Florida, Flo Rida was a perfectly valid choice.
Trish Stratus
ReplyDeleteKatja Kassin (really hardcore porn)
Carmen Kinsley (porn)
Alexis Texas (porn)
Dayna Vendetta (porn)
Bianca Beauchamp (latex/glamour model)
Jaime Koeppe (Diva Search model)
Jesikah Maximus (model)
There's TOO MANY ASSES!!
Now, fap, fap away my friends.
Look, she's not the hottest girl ever... but give her a break, that ass is fantastic.
ReplyDeleteYou're a top guy, congrats.
ReplyDeleteWHo is? Come to the Inner Room Caberet, Cocoa Beach Florida, or Tops and Bottoms in Cleveland, Ohio
You should try it. It's like kissing a peanut.
ReplyDeleteI offset your damage by watching Tessmacher gifs for the past hour. I will never click on that gif you posted again and I will be leery of clicking any others.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your time.
We envy you, Homer. All we have is our music, our legions of fans, our millions of dollars and our youth.
ReplyDelete...
WOO HOO!
Let's all go out and buy TNA!
He can't be the sole investor. TNA absolutely could make money; the new owner would just need to admit they're a TV-only product.
ReplyDeleteBiscuit McButtermilk, smiling politely.
ReplyDeleteMajor upsides: Billy Corgan knows what professional wrestling is and is working with his own money. I could see TNA moving to a Chicago-area casino. The Chi indy scene is pretty good so he's got access to cheap talent, plus O'Hare to get the talent in and out.
ReplyDeleteAre you HBK's Lush, or HBK Slush?
ReplyDeleteAnd goddammit, now I'm thirsty.
Well, if it makes you feel any better, you've probably eaten an ass just like that one. :-)
ReplyDeleteAh, forgot about Jesikah Maximus. Her cheeks might have to go on the monument. Katja Kassins ass is nice, just hate her face.
ReplyDeleteTed and Bockwinkel were the two candidates for this gimmick, and they chose Ted as he was younger. You can't argue with Ted, but Nick would also have killed with this gimmick.
ReplyDeleteWell damn HBK......I just lost my smile after seeing that crap
ReplyDeleteAgreed.
ReplyDeleteI guess your face has to look a certain way for it to fit that many things in it at once.
ReplyDeleteWhat a good girl.
Thank you! Anybody who's ever seen Luke 2 Live Crew videos in the early 90s knows this.....and really doesnt see what all the fuss is over Miley
ReplyDeleteYou know....that first time The Godfather offered his hoes for the whole night (I think to Steven Regal) - awesome twerk job....if anybody has THAT video.....
ReplyDeleteMy ex used to think Rob Van Dam had the greatest ass of all time.
ReplyDeletehttp://assets.hightimes.com/24_rvdimg_3401.jpg
http://www.cannabisculture.com/files/images/rvd.jpg
Apparently, I'm the only one who found it funny. Not the first time; won't be the last.
ReplyDeleteI think the first time hos were offered happened to be at a TV taping I attended. Before Godfather was even 1/3 of the way through his pitch, I was screaming "take the blonde!!!!" Don't recall who the opponent was.
ReplyDeleteDamnit, I came here to post that.
ReplyDeleteand, I will - from this point forward - post only Jef safe pics.
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgqbCq_sxmo&feature=youtube_gdata_player
ReplyDeleteYou should never encourage anyone to go to Cleveland
ReplyDeleteI didn't want to watch this... but I couldn't stop
ReplyDeleteAll I've taken away from this is that the next time I'm horny, I'm going camping in the woods.
ReplyDeleteBased on that description I would have assumed closet homosexual with a big man fetish.
ReplyDeleteLol...very true.
ReplyDeleteWell, with the right alcoholic addition, either one could work I guess ;)
ReplyDeleteA 'Mount Rushmore of Asses' would be a very popular tourist attraction.
ReplyDeleteThanks. I guess I should than Tessmacher because 35% of my posts are about her.
ReplyDelete1) OMG that music
ReplyDelete2) Who in the hell goes to the hospital for a paper cut?
3) Even though I started watching WWF in 1987, I've been watching the hell out of the Mid-South set, so seeing DIBiase with dyed blonde hair looks weird.
Gaysex predator!
ReplyDeleteNever mind DiBiase. Virgil makes that segment.
ReplyDeleteBest manservant in wrestling history.
Maybe you too would be wired differently if your father DIED IN THE MOTHERFUCKING RING!!!
ReplyDeleteWell. That escalated quickly.
ReplyDeleteNot sure if it was the first, but offering the hoes to Vader was the most memorable. Here is the big unstoppable Mastadon actually contemplating whether or not he wants to leave with the hoes. http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x5nwzu_vader-vs-the-godfather-raw-8-10-199_sport
ReplyDeleteSo...you'll watch a man and bear have a hot dog eating "competition"...but a roided cow's ass is a problem.
ReplyDeleteBut I thought you guys hated Vince Russo.
ReplyDeleteWhy do you feel the need to ask?
ReplyDeleteWas that before or after Kurt Angle impregnated her?
ReplyDeleteEven a broken clock is right twice a day.
ReplyDeleteDid you steal that one liner from Lawler?
ReplyDeleteI edited it and added a few more sentences. But no, I'm pretty sure that particular gem has been around longer than Mr. Lawler.
ReplyDeletecorrection: Most over body part in THIS business
ReplyDeleteOne was sexy, and the other was a cow's ass.
ReplyDeleteMan, that's the world's most expensive band-aid.
ReplyDeleteA bear and a man eating dogs is sexy?
ReplyDeleteDude. And I thought *I* was warped.
Here is the Godfather vs Regal match for anyone interested. Side note: Lawler and JR were just killing it here. http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xzj0nq_wwf-raw-11-16-1998-part-2_sport
ReplyDeleteNot in and of itself, but it gives a boy some ideas, knowwhatimean?
ReplyDeleteYes. If the boy wants to eat cock. Because he's guy. Possibly a cannibal. Or, is into bears eating cock. Cause he's into bestiality. Possibly gay bestiality. I did not ascertain the gender of the bear.
ReplyDeleteNot that there's anything wrong with that...
Who said they were male? And who said they were getting raped?
ReplyDeleteWOW. Had never seen Bianca Beauchamp before...the blood wand is moving now. For all those who dont know her, do your penis a favor and click the link below...
ReplyDeletehttp://static2.shoutem.com/pictures/b0uJMJyDqka3xcERDqfhig/large/bianca.jpg
That third one...might be a little hard.
ReplyDeleteNormally you right, but tops n bottoms is the shit.
ReplyDeleteWrestling asses
ReplyDeleteBrooke, mickie, naomi, layla
Porn asses,
You may vary but Sophie dee, brianna love, DRUNNA, and annette schwarz.
But it will change tomorrow
I figured you would have a more impassioned defense than that.
ReplyDeleteI have only been there briefly a couple of times when I was working for Kucinich... but it seemed like a pretty depressing place.
Not including AJ means you are gay. No exceptions.
ReplyDeleteYou can have 12 year old body, I like women.
ReplyDeleteIts like youre ricky morton with teeny boppers and training bras, im more like flair with the double ds...
Bianca beauchamp is like my perfect woman.
ReplyDeleteHE WAS ONLY 15 YEARS OLD! STANDING THERE RINGSIDE, WATCHING HIS FATHER'S LIFE FORCE DRAINING. HIS LAST WORDS, GASPED OUT IN A BREATHLESS HUSH, WERE "avenge my death, my son. avenge...me......"
ReplyDeleteWHAT THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO!? YOU WOULD BUY THE BEST TRAINERS IN THE WORLD TO TRAIN YOU, YOU WOULD WIN THE NWA WORLD TITLE, HAVE IT TAKEN AWAY FROM YOU, THEN USE YOUR MONEY TO BUY YOUR WAY INTO THE WWF AND BUY THAT TITLE, THEN HAVE THAT TAKEN AWAY!
*THAT'S* WHAT YOU WOULD DO, AND YOU KNOW IT!
We dont agree on much but damn if you didnt hit the nail on the head.
ReplyDeleteThat twerking wasnt shit. Ive seen hood bitches crush that display
He's lucky Hecubus never went into wrestling.
ReplyDeleteNo, it was kinda awesome.... Even though I hate the Pumpkins.
ReplyDeleteAny straight male would take any oppurtunity to get a chance with Brooke, Miley, or Velvet. Let's be real
ReplyDeleteUpvote for a fucking DRUNNA reference.
ReplyDeleteVelvet is rumored to have herpes, is it worth it?
ReplyDeletePlease, you would never turn down AJ. Who are you kidding?
ReplyDeleteWhy would he leave what has to be a coushy performer contract making more money in the business than he ever has to be tna's head booker, a job which pays far less and has far more stress?
ReplyDeleteThe only reason id fuck her is because she is relatively famous and the bragging rights.
ReplyDeleteIve been around the world for 10 years, ive fucked badder chicks than AJ, sorry.
Drunna is like 40+ and crushing chicks half her age. Love her
ReplyDeleteOk. I dont want stds, but whatever floats your boat.
ReplyDeleteI have a feeling you'd take what you could get. Show me one link that mentions she is rumored to have herpes. I smell bullshit
ReplyDeleteNope.
ReplyDeletesex slaves > vengeance
In a word, control. Not saying he will, or can, but I think it's safe to say that Heyman has never completely lost the desire to have the control to make storylines and meld a promotion. He just doesn't strike me as one who would ever lose that love.
ReplyDeleteEXACTLY.
ReplyDelete"Living well is the best revenge." -George Herbert
I love how since I dont go withthe hivemind, I would take what I can get. You dont know me and what ive done. Im sorry ive lived in europe for 4+ years where THEY LOVE black men... im sorry i lived in central florida where they love to party. Im not sayin I have my pick of the litter, ive definite been shot down more times than I have gotten pussy, but im not generally desparate. That being said, if its closing time, I have come out the club with some less than desirables.
ReplyDeleteIm not gonna front I have read the herpes story on forums such as this. Im not taking that as gospel either, you said youd risk it if she did. I said it was rumored. Im not trying to run the risk of puttin any attachments on my dick. If u do, thats you. Whatevz...
I will do my best to search and if im unsuccessful I will come out and say so.
It was probably toddlorenz link above.
ReplyDeleteRoxy Reynolds (before the Implants) and Caramel had the best asses in porn. I'm not even going into the South American chicks that would take too long to list.
ReplyDeleteApparently Vince has assigned a cameraman to film AJ's ass exclusively.
ReplyDeletehttp://i.imgur.com/WmeVKbz.gif
.......so which one is it?
ReplyDeleteVirgil looked like jacked-up band member of Prince and the Revolution.
ReplyDeleteLike you would have the ability to think that clearly.
ReplyDeleteCaramel? Im not familiar with her work. Was never a big Roxy fan. On to google...
ReplyDeleteOh my god, Vince McMahon = Mac from It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia.
ReplyDeleteI thought I was the only guy who remembered that!
ReplyDelete20 years ago he was alright. They had one good album, and compared to Alice in Chains or Soundgarden or Faith No More there is just no comparison.
ReplyDeleteThe early nineties were a great time for alternative metal, and Billy is outclassed in pretty much every category.
Not really but that's sort of why I'm confused a millionaire would hire Pondo.
ReplyDeleteScheduling conflict, maybe?
ReplyDelete"Look, man, I'm committed elsewhere that day, but I got your back. Ever heard of a guy named Pondo?"
So, let me get this straight. You're saying that your scenario of a man dying in a ring while participating in a "sport" where the outcome is predetermined and asking his 15 year old son (who happens to be watching) to avenge him is more likely than said teenage son using his extravagant wealth of unknown origin to pursue his sexual desires.
ReplyDelete*pondering*
Nah.
WILL YOU STOP!
ReplyDelete