Uh oh, Chris Walker should be concerned, because he’s already been supplanted as the hot topic of discussion in my inbox by THE WYATT FAMILY.
IWC has been looking at the Wyatt Family program as a step down for Daniel Bryan and CM Punk, but this is their right of passage to make stars and Luke Harper could very well benefit from this.If they bounce around the ring for him, I'm thinking Harper could be money if he gets the opportunity. Harper has the size, the Mick Foley-esque look, can take some sick bumps and obviously has some skills that can be further developed in the WWE style.
Your thoughts on this matter?
He needs to trim that fucking beard.
Hey Scott, do you agree that Harper seems to be the "chosen one" (similar to Reigns for The Shield) who is already built up as the big star out of his group? he's getting the most ring time by far (unlike Reigns though, who is more protected and almost unbeatable right now), he has his distinctive "catchphrase" (yeah yeah yeah / Reigns: ROAAAAARRRR), the big impressive finisher AND brutal finisher nr 2 (Spinning Clothesline & Big Boot / Reigns: Spear & Powerbomb) and getting the singles matches (unlike Reigns).
keep on rockin'!
He’s already a more impressive worker than Bray Wyatt is, and that can only help him. You’ll notice we barely even see Rowen on TV in the ring. I think actually that dumping Rowen and replacing him with a repackaged Ohno would not be the worst idea in the world. I think he’s a good guy to put in there with the smaller guys because he can bump around with them and have good matches, but he’s not big enough to go in there with the big guys and look like a star, so there’s probably a good little midcard niche for him.
Roman Reigns, however, is gonna be the guy, so we might as well accept it now and get to like him. He does have an awesome wrestling name, at least.
3 way with Hulk Hogan?
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldAHwbF8uWI
Why would you want him to trim his beard? He has a unique look that doesn't seem forced.
ReplyDeleteTotal threadjack
ReplyDeleteI was sent the URL for PWG's 5 for $40 sale... Actually my wife was. Anyways, I didn't notice the sale posted on the PWG site yet. Thought there may be interest. Last time I posted about DVD deals though I kinda got the feeling some saw it as advertising.
So if you're interested I'll post it. Let me know, guys.
harper also needs to spray over that massive bald spot. just throw some black spray-on hair
ReplyDeleteJesus.... Harper has worked a match with Punk and went over a guy on NXT. He's "the guy" now?
ReplyDeleteHygiene and comfort for his opponents, mostly.
ReplyDeleteIt should've been just Wyatt and Harper in the first place. Have Wyatt rarely wrestle and mostly act as manager/tag partner for Harper.
ReplyDeleteThis may be my favorite aspect of the entire story. ..
ReplyDeletehttp://deadspin.com/how-old-is-the-nfl-tie-torontos-mayor-wore-to-admit-he-1459065507
I fucking hate the Wyatts. I don't think they're great brawlers, and the while gimmick just screams "corny" to me. Guess you could have said the same about Kane in 97, so I'll try and keep and open mind.
ReplyDeleteDon't be a beard hater.
ReplyDeleteDug the Wyatts up on their WWE debut. Still dig 'em. That is all.
ReplyDeleteI feel you and parallax share a brain. Very very similar posting styles and posts.
ReplyDeleteWhat I'd like to know is how someone who smokes crack is still... so... ~MIND-BOGGLINGLY FAT~!?
ReplyDeleteWhat Toddlorenz said.
ReplyDeleteYes. Except he bangs married women. And he has an office. Also, he's ugly and stupid.
ReplyDeleteBut I'm not jealous or bitter or anything...
Please post:)
ReplyDeleteChris Walker guarantees he will remain relevant on the BoD for the foreseeable future
ReplyDeleteWe should go back to talking about Chris Walker... he is way more entertaining than the Wyatt's
ReplyDeleteIts ok, you can live vicariously through Chris Walker
ReplyDeleteChris Walker is far better than the Wyatt's could ever hope to be.
ReplyDeleteThe general consensus around here is that he's very forgettable with little importance
ReplyDeleteMaybe he shares a brain with Chris Walker...
ReplyDeleteChris Walker is the clear #1 draw on the BoD!
ReplyDelete(Do you have any idea how much fun I am having with this?)
ReplyDeleteHa, I can imagine. Eventually the dormers may catch on. Or maybe not
ReplyDeleteThey'd have to be pretty fucking stupid not to catch on at this point
ReplyDeleteCOMPLETELY irrelevant but awesome
ReplyDeletehttp://www.chicagonow.com/dad-all-day/2013/11/man-sues-wife-over-ugly-kids-and-wins/
post away, the best wrestling promotion in the country deserves some shine
ReplyDeleteThat's what i was going for but didn't want to flat out say it
ReplyDeleteWell, he is an iconic actor. Had lots of great roles, and was pretty damn funny on SNL.
ReplyDeleteWait...
That Chris Walken. Silly verb tenses. Always messin' me up and 'n stuff....
Chris Walker is far more talented and better looking that Chris Walken
ReplyDeleteTact isn't really my thing.
ReplyDeleteThat's it. I'm taking away your subscription to Hot Married Trim.
ReplyDeleteFun Fact: Chris Walker also likes Hot Married Trim
ReplyDeleteOk, now you're just being silly. NO ONE is more talented than THE WALKEN.
ReplyDeleteHahah. Lorenz hasn't gotten it yet.
ReplyDeleteChris Walker is. He is also better with the ladies than Chris Walken
ReplyDeleteNope... its really making my day
ReplyDeleteDude, you gotta learn to play politics to break that glass ceiling.
ReplyDeleteDude had a point. Don't know that I would have trashed my own kids that way, but seems like she should have warned him about the surgeries.
ReplyDeleteI'm already standing on the glass ceiling... it is a floor from my perspective.
ReplyDeleteYea. Walken kills Chris Walker in the game of life
ReplyDeleteThis is false. Chris Walker is even a better actor than Chris Walken.
ReplyDeleteEVERYONE likes hot trim, married or not. Not everyone taps it.
ReplyDeleteChris Walker does.
ReplyDeleteOk, if you're not going to play within the bounds of reality, begone.
ReplyDeleteI SAID BEGONE.
http://www.prowrestlingguerrilla.com/merch/winter_2013.html
ReplyDeleteHe needs to trim that fucking beard.
ReplyDeleteOkay, Mr. Burns.
Chris Walker does not = everyone.
ReplyDeleteI am. This is reality, I know more about Chris Walker than you could ever imagine.
ReplyDeleteHahaha.
ReplyDelete(um...it's called playing along for fun cause I'm bored at work)
ReplyDelete(and fuck you)
No. But Chris Walker does tap hot trim both married and unmarried.
ReplyDeleteTMI.
ReplyDeleteOh ok. I wasn't so sure.
ReplyDeleteI think most call that a glass coffee table. And what you pay the hooker - or convince the married broad - to do on top of it is no one else's business.
ReplyDeleteWell you shouldn't have been so disrespectful. I am very sensitive when it comes to Chris Walker
ReplyDeleteand...now you are. :-)
ReplyDeleteI make it other people's business... especially guys like you that need to live vicariously.
ReplyDeleteI think it was sideburns.
ReplyDeleteGoddammit....Disqus is reminding me of some of Scott's writing...One other person is TYPING....
ReplyDeleteChris Walker hits women with glass coffee tables
ReplyDeleteUndisputed.
ReplyDeleteThe phrase "Three way with Hulk Hogan" does NOT appeal to me in the slightest. (I don't care who the third person would be.)
ReplyDeleteI know. I was extrapolating.
ReplyDeleteThat said, Scott's still better than Steinbrenner.
Hey...quit trying horn in on our shared brain.
ReplyDeleteBrain horner.
Bwahahahahahahahaaa
ReplyDeleteYou underestimate my imagination. I picture you counting the pimples on his ass, and measuring the length and width of his hemorrhoids.
ReplyDeleteI hated Griffey. I wish he really did OD on nerve tonic.
ReplyDeleteThat escalated quickly.
ReplyDeleteChris Walker doesn't get pimples and has never had hemorrhoids
ReplyDeletePlot twist: the kids grow up to be gorgeous.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, it was almost like a rule in my high school that all the hottest people had to have the fattest, grossest parents.
1. Don't need to live vicariously, except maybe through Geddy Lee. Cause, you know. Geddy.
ReplyDelete2. If I did need to live vicariously, it would not involve a glass coffee table
3. How IN THE FUCK did we degenerate to this point?
OK, you win. LLOL at work. In a call center. A small one, but still.
ReplyDeleteThis is a lie! Chris Walker makes women cry through words alone
ReplyDeleteLiar. Whore. And you know it.
ReplyDelete3. When do we not? you know who also degenerates like this? Chris Walker
ReplyDeleteYes on both counts, but neither apply here.
ReplyDeleteChrist. Any of you reading further down than this may want to prepare for a thread jack. Apologies to any who might be offended.
ReplyDeleteWell, not really. But a warning is in order.
What did the grandparents look like?
ReplyDeleteI like the bald spot. It adds to the hillbilly look.
ReplyDeleteIt's ok. We are all in agreement that Chris Walker was a low level jobber with little significance
ReplyDeleteLove the plot twist
ReplyDeleteChris Walker would take that as a compliment
ReplyDeleteI like the Wyatts, they've just done next to nothing since their debut. They beat up Kane, he vanishes. They randomly attack midcarders, Bray mumbles gibberish, then all is forgotten. At least there seems to be an actual plan for them now.
ReplyDeleteChris Walker would be ashamed of your needlessly and incessantly invoking his name.
ReplyDeleteOr, he'd thank you. One or the other.
You, sir, are a purveyor of untruths.
ReplyDeleteChris Walker knows that people like to say his name.
ReplyDeleteExcept that apparently, he was better than Chris Walken.
ReplyDeleteI am not. And neither is Chris Walker
ReplyDeleteOk, now all I'm hearing is Chris Walker said a la Matt Damon in Team America.
ReplyDeleteIf a different jobber says his name 3 times during a match, will Walker appear to take the pin?
ReplyDeleteChris Walker is the King of Untruths. You are the prince. Or duke. Or retarded 3rd cousin.
ReplyDeleteWell, they apparently beat the gimmick out of Kane. Now he's just Glenn Jacobs.
ReplyDeleteSeems like he has become the Chuck Norris of the BOD.
ReplyDeleteChris. Walker.
ReplyDeleteI know news travels fast here on the blog, but I thought I read that Chris Wyatt guest starred on Walker, Texas ranger one time.
ReplyDeleteGo watch NXT.
ReplyDeleteDigging this vid, good stuff
ReplyDeleteAs a Torontonian I can tell you that it would probably SHOCK you how many supporters he still has in the community, even if he has few remaining in city hall.
ReplyDeleteHe ran on a platform of cutting the "gravy train" at city hall, and he's done a fairly good job with that.
Fun Fact: Chris Walker HATES Chuck Norris
ReplyDeleteI've seen them/it. I'm judging them strictly on their wwe run so far. I liked Johnny Curtis alot in NXT but am not going to carry that reverence over to Fandango if Fandango is boring me.
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing fun about that fact. Nothing at all.
ReplyDeleteWell he smokes weed to, he's been open about that in the past. Got busted with a small amount in the US once too.
ReplyDeleteDifferent animal with the Wyatts. I think Bray's going to be a big, big star.
ReplyDeleteSemi threadjack....
ReplyDeleteI know a lot of you dig NXT, but I can't quite seem to watch it consistently. For every Sami Zayn and Paige, I see a match with a 60s hippy fighting a heel whose schtick seems to be selfies. Oh, and selfie guy cut one of hippy's dreads off.
Dafuq?
As big as Chris Walker?
ReplyDeleteOutlandish characters in professional wrestling, you say? ;)
ReplyDeleteOh you just stop typing, right now... because, you're absurd... like you've got a watch... shoved up... your assss!
ReplyDeleteHillBilly Jim sucked.
ReplyDeleteI'll never get the hate for the Wyatts on this blog. Bray cuts great promos and him and Harper are pretty good in the ring.
ReplyDeleteWho are you to question Chris Walker?
ReplyDeleteIt's a fine line between clever and stupid. Or, in this case, outlandish and fucking lame.
ReplyDeleteThey get hate because they can't do a five star match technical match and are pushed logically.
ReplyDeleteI'm not... questioning, Chris Walker, I'm... just saying that... maybe... ya know, he could some of that... cowbell? A little more, perhaps. We're just exchanging ideas... ya know?
ReplyDeleteFun Fact: Chris Walker always has the correct amount of cowbell
ReplyDeleteIf he got the... correct, amount of cow... bell. Well, that changes a lot... but tell me, Parallax... does he have his fathers watch... up his ass?
ReplyDeleteI am not familiar enough with what you are talking about to play along
ReplyDeleteChristopher Walken impersonation via text.
ReplyDeleteOh and Ohno being a Wyatt gave me a great idea if they ever feud with HHH: Bray corrupted NXT when he was there and every top prospect HHH tries to call up is a Wyatt sleeper agent.
ReplyDeleteThat match punk against punk was the first time I've seen any of them have a watchable match.
ReplyDeleteIts a silly dungeon of doom evvvvviiiiilllllll gimmick that's embarrassing to see in 2013?
ReplyDeleteI'm not disagreeing, just saying match quality isn't relevant to this gimmick. Same way it wasn't relevant to Andre or Khali or Kamala.
ReplyDeleteIts hillbilly Jim, uncle elmer, and cousin junior without the work rate the original hillbilly trio was known for?
ReplyDeleteStill not close.
ReplyDeleteBray's a fine promo, despite him basically stealing Undertaker/Kane lines and repeating them with a southern accent. And they all kinda suck in the ring. Sorry, but I don't like Harper that much, maybe I'll warm up to him, but he hasn't clicked for me yet.
ReplyDeleteI've seen enough of Harper and Bray to know they can be carried to good matches and not completely shit the bed when they're stuck with guys who suck.
ReplyDeleteDude's a complete idiot and has been off from day fucking one. His stupidity is the sole reason I've taken a step back from this blog.
ReplyDeleteI understand you hating on the Wyatts in terms of Rowan being a terrible worker (though I think Harper is really fun to watch and Bray himself is good too), but I'm not getting why you straight up hate the gimmick so much. It's not like Bray is professing to have magical powers or saying he's gonna committ murder or something else that shouldn't happen in pro wrestling— he's just portraying a nutty cult leader guy. All three guys look unique, Bray could talk like a motherfucker, it's something different. Would rather have that than some more Blandy Orton types.
ReplyDeleteAlso, the Dungeon sucked because A) The muscle were all just WWF-rejects like Quake, Brutus, Meng, etc and B) Kevin Sullivan looks like a fucking joke. Seriously, he looked like Danny Devito dressing up like Hulk Hogan for Halloween.
I'd say he shit the bed in the Kane match
ReplyDeleteThere has been 0 good inferno matches.
ReplyDeleteWell, if that's the approach, fine...just don't expect me to watch on a regular basis.
ReplyDeleteThat was a terribly limiting gimmick (you can't even go near the ropes) and Kane is a REALLY bad matchup to be putting over the new "monster" heel.
ReplyDeleteOK, I'll bite.... who is Chris Walker?
ReplyDeleteBraden Walker's dad. You didn't know the Hall of Famer was a second generation superstar?
ReplyDeleteHe's the acclaimed villain of Batman Returns.
ReplyDeleteI love the Wyatts. Bray can talk, Harper can brawl, the other guy... well he has the goat mask. The entrance works, the music works, I'm down.
ReplyDeleteI only dread the big reveal in a few weeks that HHH is the devil, thereby immediately defining the Wyatts down as just some more dudes who answer to HHH/Steph. That'll kill their aura fucking dead.
I'm in the anti wyatt camp, and know I won't change your mind, will at least try to rationally explain my point of view.
ReplyDeleteWyatts a good promo. Harper is an average brawler. Those are the only positives I see with the entire group. Yes, I've watched them in NXT, and liked them more in that setting. The gimmick just comes across as "corny" to me on wwe tv. I understand they can't do everything on national wwe tv that they could in NXT, that's not the Wyatts fault, but it doesn't score them points either. Sure it's early, and I've seen enough of them to not write them off, but I've also seen wwe completely fuck up more acts then I can count.
I can only go with what I have seen on WWE tv so far, and I haven't seen a good match or any compelling story lines with them.
Sullivan was a better worker than any of these guys. To me this gimmick is the kind of shit that makes me an in the closet wrestling fan. The whole thing just comes across as soooo cornball. Its the dungeon of doom because why are they even wrestling? If you're evvvvviiiiilllll why are you in a sports league? Are they just going to show how evil they are by pinning people for 3 seconds? The follow the buzzards catch phrase is dumb because why would an evil doer market a catch phrase? And the goat mask thing is so stupid. Its supposed to be edgy or terrifying (like the yeti) but its just silly. Its one thing to cheer for them as a goof but who really non-ironically enjoys hillbilly gimmicks-and why waste the two best guys on the roster to get them over?
ReplyDeleteWHO IS CHRIS WALKER? HOW DARE YOU!
ReplyDeleteIronically that's only one less good match than the entire Wyatt family has had in 4 months!
ReplyDeleteI always thought that was Pat Patterson's job!
ReplyDeleteI can't say I dislike Reigns, more that he needs time to really get into that character. Hopefully Ambrose gets him for a good long time, as dollars to donuts Reigns is the face and Ambrose the psycho heel. Rollins can team with another flyer the girls like for a while.
ReplyDeleteActually I dig the hippie guy, he's amusing. Same thing with Tyler Breeze. I actually miss the days when everyone had gimmick and character, instead of just being generic and boring. God bless the 80s/early 90s and Coliseum Home Video, my best source of entertainment right now. Piper/Bruno cage match, Hart Foundation Dating Game and Ricky Steamboat versus 3 ninjas!
ReplyDelete"The follow the buzzards catch phrase is dumb because why would an evil doer market a catch phrase?"
ReplyDeleteWhoosh. This is why I can't take your opinion seriously. He is a cult leader(you calling him an evil doer like a 5 year old is way more cornball than anything the Wyatts have done btw). Of course he is going to have a catch phrase. They are an update on Raven's Flock. They couldn't be further from the Dungeon of Doom if they tried.
Obviously, the purple monkey dishwasher method of spreading news doesn't work here.
ReplyDeleteI'm not gonna profess to be a Kevin Sullivan expert— I only know him from 90s WCW— but I pretty much hated everything I saw from the dude. All shitty punchy-kicky matches. I guess the Benoit brawls were good for the time, but God I couldn't stand watching Sullivan. So for me, the Wyatts have already surpassed that dude's run just by not being Kevin Sullivan.
ReplyDelete"If you're evvvvviiiiilllll why are you in a sports league? Are they just going to show how evil they are by pinning people for 3 seconds?"
I feel like now you're just leveling something that could be thrown at any gimmick wrestler who's not straight up Daniel-Bryan-esque. I mean, that's just the nature of pro wrestlers having gimmicks. Why are any of them in WWE? Million Dollar Man was a millionaire, what the fuck was he wrestling for? Because they're wrestlers, and they just happen to also be really creepy cult-type guys. That's just who they are.
Also, what about Jake the Snake? I could also just say "Ohhhh he carried a snake to the ring how edgy that's so stupid" and dismiss his gimmick. It's wrestling dude, you can't dismiss something just BECAUSE it is a gimmick.
Again, what is acceptable to you? Should everyone be a Brock Lesnar or Daniel Bryan "I am a wrestler" type guy?
And I think your Hillbilly Jim comparisons are just lazy. They're not coming out and acting like dancing cornballs and dropping slop buckets on people. (Though give Vince a year, I'm sure at least one of them does a Hillbilly face turn eventually.)
Everyone has their own tastes. And, not to quibble, but none of the guys you mentioned had gimmicks anything resembling outlandish (except for the jobber ninjas).
ReplyDeleteHmmm...I just assumed it was because you were embarrassed about being called out on lying about counseling female rape victims or on your racist ass posts calling all black athletes rapists and wife beaters. Also I'm sure cult status doesn't need you to white knight for him in a silly argument over a gimmick. But seriously, nice to have you back. We really needed an over sensitive jerk off like you around in case we need to send a 10 page letter to fandangos valet.
ReplyDeleteNeither do I.
ReplyDeleteRob Ford is to Ryback what Marion Barry is to Big E Langston
ReplyDeleteWait..what?
ReplyDeletehe was snorting confectionery sugar
ReplyDelete($1 to Nick DiPaolo)
Ultimately, it's like everything else in life. Some folks like 'em. Some don't. I dig the hell out of them. Seems like most here don't. No big.
ReplyDelete...dafuq?
ReplyDeleteI'm not saying you can't have a gimmick. But a murderous swamp cult gimmick would be tough to pay off in ECW's heyday so how is 2013 wwe going to translate this into the ring?
ReplyDeleteThey had a pretty good tag match a few weeks ago against the Rhodes, I think on Smackdown. And I thought Bray vs Kofi on PPV last month was perfectly acceptable. And then yeah, Punk vs Harper Monday was really fun stuff.
ReplyDeleteI think we may have been spoiled by The Shield, because we shouldn't expect new guys to come on the scene and immediately start having consistent amazing matches.
What great workers do you think the Wyatts have been up against where they've spit the bit? I mean, Kane in an inferno match was gonna be great? A bunch of matches against the Primetime Players?
Lol Sorry dude...Wyatt family > magnum da > mobile disqus
ReplyDeleteIf the flock wasn't run by a guy as talented as Scott levy that gimmick wouldnt have worked. He also had the advantage of working out the kinks in ECW first
ReplyDeleteWhen have they committed murder?
ReplyDeleteYou're adding things that aren't there to make your argument.
They've been presented as really tough, really mean guys from the swamp area, two of whom follow the leader. The leader talks in Manson-esque riddles. That's the gimmick. I still don't understand what part of the gimmick doesn't fit into what we accept as pro wrestling.
Bull. A "hillbilly" version of Raven's Flock would have been insane in ECW pre-Raven.
ReplyDeleteTo be fair, I do remember your lengthy open letters to Kevin Nash, Vince McMahon, Howard Finkel, HHH, the homeless dude on the street who asked you to buy his newspaper...
ReplyDeleteWhat?!?!
ReplyDeleteBabbling on about souls and hell and destiny and random 90s goth shit will always be tied up with Taker and family in my mind. He's got a southern twist to them, but it's generic cult spiel #7.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure they can be carried. The Punk match on Raw was pretty damn good. But Punk is one of the best workers around and Harper's performance didn't blow me away. I'd say the match was worse than the Punk/Big E bouts a couple weeks ago.
Harper is a pretty generic hoss in my opinion, he's not that charismatic, his moveset isn't amazing, his look is okay, he's just a generic big dude. I hear people calling him fantastic, and I just have to think that's Chikara fans polluting my eyes with their fanboyish bullshit.
P.S. And Luke is the GOOD one of the duo, Rowan is terrible.
Of course it fits into the pro wrestling gimmick history. Khaki, kamala, DoD, Jason vorhees stampede dude, Norman the lunatic, bastion booger, theres been millions of silly gimmicks like this. But that's all this is. A silly gimmick like glacier and mortis. It doesn't mean I don't want it on TV, but it also doesn't mean I need to get excited about it.
ReplyDeleteCult leader with flunkies always works in wrestling.
ReplyDeleteOK, but the 80's they had Kamala, OMG/Akeem, Boss Man, Killer Khan, Jake Roberts, Moondogs, JYD, Jimmy Jack Funk, Honky Tonk, Volkoff, Sheik, Ron Bass, Islanders, Killer Bees. Basically guys you could look at and figure out heel/face and character right away. Now what differentiates Cena from Orton from Miz from Bryan from Riley, etc. They all look, dress and act the same. No one stands out anymore. That why I like Los Matadors, very 80's style. As for the matches I mentioned on CHV, just the first things that came to mind. :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you're back. I cannot wait for you're next meltdown to play out on here!!!!
ReplyDeleteThe quality of WRESTLING matches is relevant to everything in wrestling. Matches don't need to be poru head-drop fests to be good, they need to entertain the audience by giving them what they want to (and paid to) see.
ReplyDeleteHulk matches (in his prime) weren't bad because they succeeded at what they attempted to do, which was Hulk overcoming the big fat heels and dropping a leg. That's what people wanted to see and that's what was provided, I dunno who wants to see slow, plodding matches filled with CLUBBING FOREARMS and a below average lariat.
I think the next few months will be big for the Wyatts. They're feuding against maybe the two best workers in the company, who also might be the two most over faces in the company. As much as I hate seeing Bryan dropped out of the title scene, I do think this feud itself has a chance to be awesome.
ReplyDeleteAlso, Bray-Punk feuding could really make Bray a star. Just look at that first attack last week— it had little moments in it that surpass everything done in the hours of awful Big Show vs HHH storyline. Just that moment when Bray grabs Punk and is like "I've been waiting a long time for this" and then Punk headbutts him before the final beatdown— that's really good stuff. Then the Punk-Harper match afterwards was really good, and the Bryan run-in was electric.
So yeah, I'd save judgment until after this feud for sure.
No one stands out? So you can put Roman Reigns next to CM Punk and Dolph Ziggler and move them around and have no idea who each of them are?
ReplyDeleteThey've really gotten away from the CAW fest of the mid aughts.
Yeah, Mideon was just incredible.
ReplyDeleteThe Ministry was over.
ReplyDeletePlus we get Bryan and Punk on the screen together, I think I might need to invest in a few more pairs of pants.
ReplyDeleteSure, it could. My counterpoint would be that working with Punk and Bryan, the two most over faces in the wwe? Would really help any heels. What happens after that? Bray still can't work well and Harper and Rowan still can't talk.
ReplyDeleteYes, I can pick him out, but what's the difference between them? What makes him stand out from Punk? The yell he does? They need to have a defined gimmick to be entertaining, otherwise it all runs together.
ReplyDeleteIf anything, Miz, Cody Rhodes, and Randy Orton are proof of that theory.
ReplyDeleteJake The Snake, Andre the Giant, Kane, Undertaker, Mankind, Cactus Jack, Vader, yeah those were all stupid too.
ReplyDeleteOh magnum da is a doozy! If you like wrestling message board mental breakdowns you're gonna love this guy. Me and him are old friends! Did you know he's the only male who counsels female rape victims in the world? He's very enlightened
ReplyDeleteEverything in 1999 WWF was over. And being over=/=being of any quality. Hornswoggle is over dude.
ReplyDeleteWhat about all the wannabe Flock's that polluted the indies (and TNA) in the early 2000s. You're telling me each one of them was over or entertaining?
Wait...you like Los Matadores?
ReplyDeleteYour argument is invalid.
:-P
Exactly. The concept is much better than the end result. They come off as these sadists who legitimately want to do violence....but they are handcuffed with PG Era beatdowns that look like everyone else's.
ReplyDeleteThere are very few things in life I enjoy more then a good meltdown.
ReplyDelete*waiting patiently*
Raven's TNA version was good. As for all the indy versions, I'm sure they all sucked. But that gimmick is so easy when you know what you're doing.
ReplyDeleteTugboat, shark man, roadkill...I could play this game all day. Jake Roberts doesn't belong on that list but Foley taker and Vader are different because they were talented wrestlers. I always thought Kane was stupid fwiw. Bad worker, silly gimmick but he's big. That's the kind of shit I've always hated but different strokes...
ReplyDeleteGlacier/Mortis/Wrath was fucking awesome. Don't even start.
ReplyDeleteBut I think there's a larger problem if a wrestling gimmick can't work because their gimmick is that they are violent. Christ, there have to be at least a few guys on the roster who are portrayed as yough guys and not just Fandango-types.
ReplyDeleteAgain, they're not talking about committing murders. They're just using standard evil guy wrestler threats.
I thought you were talking about looks, not gimmicks.
ReplyDeleteRoman Reigns is a badass enforcer that likes tearing peoples heads off. And the Roar, the Shield connection and the fact that's he's Samoan are all character difference between him and Punk.
Cena's a passive aggressive guy who likes kids and the military.
Orton is a tatted up douchebag with anger problems.
Miz is a suited up douchebag with ego problems.
Alex Riley is a jobber, and his character traits are a) obsessed with the Miz and b) being a total creep.
What was Earthquake's gimmick besides "HE'S FAT!"? Who was Ricky Steamboat besides "Nice Guy"? Things have gotten less cartoony, but most of the guys who get TV time every week have characters.
Why are they wrestling?
ReplyDeletePretty much everybody else on the roster has had a reason to wrestle, but what do the Wyatt's want? And how are they getting that through wrestling? Is it just about money and acclaim and mastering a field you love?
I asked this about the Wyatt's below, but why are there cults in wrestling?
ReplyDeleteI mean, you're a creepy cult who worships some dude. Why are you wrestling? What do you want? Money? Titles? Why are the Wyatt's in WWE and not hanging near Baton Rouge kidnapping motorists and turning them into hats?
What did Raven want in wrestling? There's easier ways to make money or get vengeance against people.
Vader came out with a smoking helmet, that shit was fucking embarrassing. And Mankind pulled his hair out and wore a straight jacket— why was he allowed to wrestle? Cactus Jack didn't feel pain! That's illegal. Jake the Snake carried a snake and talked in riddles with a slight southern accent. LAME! What's with this Undertaker guy wheeling a casket to the ring and putting guys in body bags and his manager is named PAUL BEARER? Holy shit who watches this this stuff?
ReplyDeleteMy point is, maybe teh Wyatts will bust out, maybe they'll end up being awesome. I really don't think we've seen nearly enough yet to judge. (Though I think this feud, against two awesome workers with lots of heat, will be key.) I'm just taking issue with how you seem to A) Be making their gimmick sound a lot more absurd than it is just to make your argument, and B) You're shitting on the idea of gimmicks in general. Some bomb, and some work. And some of the silliest gimmicks ever (UNDERTAKER) worked really well.
Why would you even care about that? You know that it is a work, yet you are trying to find a kayfab reason why they are on tv.
ReplyDeleteI think Disqus ate my response, so he's another one.
ReplyDeleteReigns is a big scary enforcer that likes fighting and hurting people and showing off his dominance. He's a Werewolf: the Apocalypse character. That's all you really need for wrestling, really.
And what were the CHARACTERS of the 80s/90s guys? What was Bam Bam Bigelow beyond head tats and ugly jackets? Earthquake was just some fat dude, Ricky Steamboat was just a squeaky clean babyface of Asian descent.
Why is Fandango wrestling? Why did the Undertaker wrestle? Why does Kane wrestle? Why did Million Dollar Man wrestle? Why did Mankind wrestle? Why did Big Bossman wrestle? Why did Ultimate Warrior wrestle?
ReplyDeleteThey're wrestling because, in theory, pro wrestling is supposed to be where the toughest, violent-oriented guys can go to beat people up for a living and earn money. Maybe that's not how WWE corporately presents itself anymore, but as an audience that's what we're buying: tough dudes fighting for a living. And within that, some of the dudes have really bizarre backstories or quirky characters. I mean, that just is what pro wrestling is.
You see....I took the Chris Walker thread, and and then I took this thread, and I melded them together to form a totally different idea of a thread, then.....fuck it, never mind.
ReplyDelete" Bray still can't work well and Harper and Rowan still can't talk."
ReplyDeleteBray has barely worked on TV at all. Again, what good opponents has he faced that he's been bad against? Kane in an inferno match? He's basically been used as a manager so far, and beaten R-Truth is some squashes. To say he can't work is such a rush.
Same with Harper and Rowan can't talk. They HAVEN'T been asked to talk. That'd be like saying "Well The Undertaker won't work because this guy can't talk." Well, uhm, that's not the character.
Also, good that they're not talking. Do we need everyone to be doing cutsey jokes and talking about the WWE universe? Maybe these guys can just be different.
Oh the gimmick can certainly work, it's just that we have to accept them as garden variety creepy heels as opposed to whatever next-level meaning some people were trying to give them when they debuted
ReplyDeleteOh for sure. Back when Kevin Nash made the "visible in an airport" crack, I believe...MagnumDA wrote a *gigantic* screed as an open letter in the comments. Very emotional too! Might be misremembering the thread. But it was forever ago, I'm sure all is forgotten!!
ReplyDeleteIn theory, wrestling is full of a lot of insecure and mentally unstable guys who are also physically strong enough to do someone's bidding if someone smart enough to manipulate them comes along. Most cult leaders, in real life, just want money, power and fame. So why not him? Why not Raven?
ReplyDeleteI disagree with most of this. Let me ask it this way: what have the Wyatts done in their wwe run to make yourself, or others like them? Wear a goat mask? Turn the lights off during their entrance? I'm not facetious. They haven't been in a memorable angle, match, moment since their call up.
ReplyDeleteIf this Punk/Bryan stuff blows the roof off, I'll reconsider my position on them. I just don't see any long term value with them once the novelty of them being different wears off