This has nothing to do with the WWE
I have personally dedicated this to my friend, brawsome, and all of the RSS Feeds across the universe.
20 Man Win-A-Date Battle Royal
James, DavidBonzaiSaldanaMontgomery, PrimeTime Ten, Beard Money, Hart Killer 09, Your Favourite Loser, cabspaintedyellow, Worst in the World, Mick, nebb28, C.O. Jones, Dr. Facts, juvydriver, Phrederic, Stan Ford, Bobby, Scotty Flamingo, Andy PG, Andrew Dean, X Man
20 jam-up guys in one ring to win a chance at a date with poster jessybabe, who was involuntarily chosen for this stipulation. The date will take place on BoD RAW tomorrow night. And the match gets under way and the first person eliminated is Nebb28, courtesy of Andy PG. Oh man, his pet rock was flown in for the show and that set back the GM a lot of money. Nebb hangs his head in shame as he walks by the rock. And our British representative, Andrew Dean, has been eliminated by C.O. Jones. And the true shooter of the BoD, Bobby, has just been eliminated by the man who found Mrs. Whippleman, Dr. Facts. And look at this, somebody done mess with a country boy as Beard Money is running wild. He eliminates Stan Ford, Phrederic, and X Man then caps it off with a cartwheel. HA HA HA, YES SIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The BoD Fantasy Sports Man and mediocre comedy poster, DBSM, has just been eliminated by Hart Killer 09. C.O. Jones has just been tossed by cabspaintedyellow. And James has just been tossed by Beard Money. No Daniel Bryan joining the Wyatt Family flashbacks for Andy PG here as he just tossed Worst in the World and juvydriver. And he tosses Scotty Flamingo too, who is now free to go masturbate to the anti-Dave Meltzer comments on the BoD. Mick has been eliminated after getting backdropped to the floor courtesy of Andy PG, who is on fire, unlike Kane. And surprisingly, Your Favourite Loser is still around. Dr. Facts and cabspaintedyellow are fighting near the ropes. Beard Money runs over and clotheslines Dr. Facts and cabspaintedyellow over the top ropes, eliminating them from this match. PrimeTime Ten sneaks up from behind and dumps his partner over the ropes. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT!!!!!! HE DONE MESSED WITH A COUNTRY BOY!!!! And Beard Money is irate. The final four are Andy PG, Hart Killer 09, PrimeTime Ten, and the job squad member, Your Favourite Loser. Things are getting rough as all four men are getting tired. Andy PG whiffs on a clothesline and Hart Killer 09 connects with a super kick. He picks up Andy and tosses him outside but Andy skins the cat! He charges at Hart Killer, who ducks and pulls down the ropes and Andy PG is eliminated. Good news, White Coat Security does not need the CM Punk sock puppet to help him cope with this situation. Your Favourite Loser is getting chopped in the corner by Hart Killer and PrimeTime Ten, who are now fighting with each other. Your Favourite Loser picks himself up in the corner and dropkicks Hart Killer from behind and he is nearly over the ropes and PrimeTime Ten dumps him to the floor, eliminating Hart Killer 09. We are down to the final two, PrimeTime Ten and Your Favourite Loser, the underdog. PrimeTime clotheslines down the Loser and stomps him repeatedly. PrimeTime is acting a bit arrogant now as Your Favourite Loser is hurting on the mat. He wipes the mat with Loser's face then kicks him in the back of the head. PrimeTime Ten is looking to hit his patented flying forearm and bounces off of the ropes but he sees Beard Money near the ring and stops. Beard Money yells at him and Your Favourite Loser finally gets up and hits him with a running knee from behind and Beard Money yanks the ropes and that eliminates PrimeTime Ten. And the underdog, Your Favourite Loser has won the battle royal and a date! The crowd is cheering for the underdog, who doesnt know what to do, because he has never won before. Beard Money gets in the ring and asks him to do the do si do but he is still confused as to what has happened. He looks to the crowd for support and they want him to do the do si do and he does!!!!! HA HA HA, GIT DOWN CUZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HA HA HA HA. And we have word that the date will be shown on the next edition of BoD RAW.
BoD Extreme Rules
All matches will feature timekeeper, Mister E Mahn, who is world-renowned for his abilities.
Tables Match for the Tag Team Championship
ABeYance1 & thebraziliankid vs. Adam Curry & Kyle Warne (Champions)
thebraziliankid had his family flown in from Brazil and they are sitting ringside. White Coat Security is their to prevent Parallax from hitting on his aunt. The match is under tornado rules. Everyone is brawling in the ring to start. Curry goes outside and slides in a table, as does Abeyance. Kyle and Adam were reportedly very excited over the RoH show this Saturday, making them two out of 300 people on planet earth who share the same feeling. Abeyance tries to set up the table but Warne boots him in the gut then tosses him to the floor. thebrazilian kid then fires Warne outsides and tries to fly out with a suicide dive but gets speared by Curry. Curry then hits a snap suplex and backbreaker before climbing up top. Abeyance shoves Curry off of the top, narrowly missing a table. Warne then takes Abeyance down with a superplex as bodies are everywhere. The action goes back outside as Abeyance is set up on a table. Warne goes up top but thebraziliankid hops up and tossing him down to the floor. Abeyance gets off of the table and pulls out a can of Aqua Net and a stick. The referee runs over to remind Abeyance that it is not a requirement to respond to every single post then lets him continue. Abeyance sprays two hearty squirts of Aqua Net onto the table and his now rubbing a stick together with his hands in an attempt to start a fire!!!!! GUNS DONT KILL PEOPLE, ABEYANCE KILLS PEOPLE. Abeyance is struggling to get a fire going with the stick and tries a match but he messed it up and there is no fire. thebraziliankid runs over and spears Curry then takes out Warne with a leg lariat. He runs over to his family and he sees his cousins but Abeyance seems to be struggling to figure out which Brazilian is his partner because they all look the same to him. But Curry hits thebraziliankid from behind with a chair and that sends him down. Warne tackles Abeyance and puts him on the table as Curry goes up top and puts thebraziliankid through the table with a 5 Star Frog Splash as they retain the tag belts. Oh my, a lot of miscommunication between the young guns of the BoD.
"Dancin'"Devin Harris vs. Todd "Hoss" Lorenz
GIT DOWN WITH DA D-D-H!!!!! Before the show, Lorenz had turned away the delivery truck that contained snickers bars and shook down the driver for his wallet too. Match starts off with a lockup and the DDH pushes Hoss away, who is irate. DDH dodges a charge and hits some DANCIN PUNCHES!!!!!!!!!! AND THEN HE DOES A JIG!!!!!!!!!!! HA HA HA, YESSSSIRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!! DDH hits a corner splash then gets two with a bulldog. DDH works a bearhug but Hoss escapes with a bell clap and his on the warpath. He uses clubbing forearms to the back then gets two with a backbreaker. The Hoss puts on his own bearhug as DDH is unable to get funky. He breaks the hold and gets a slam. Hoss is now going up top and this cant end well folks. He tries a splash but the DDH thankfully rolls out of the way and both men are down. The Hoss is up first and they now slug it out. The DDH wins the battle and knocks Hoss right to the mat with a right and look, he is getting FUN-KAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The DDH hits a few clotheslines then boots Hoss through the ropes. Hoss takes a breather outside and places his hand on the guardrail for support. He looks up and sees someone in the stands pull out a Snickers bar from their pocket. The fan peels open the wrapper and goes for a bite and the Hoss is irate. He knocks over the guardrail and slaps the bar out of the fan's hand. He is screaming at the fan "NO SNICKERS BARS" then picks up the fan by the throat and chokeslams him down. The referee counts to ten as DDH wins the match, via countout. Hoss is now really mad as the concession stand workers are evacuating the area. The music of DDH hits as the BoDettes come into the ring and everyone is GETTIN' DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hoss cannot handle that others are having fun right now and runs over to the sound system and destroys it all. He grabs the DJ and shakes him down for his wallet before leaving. He then goes back to retrieve the DJ's hamburger and eats that while walking away as the DDH wonders why the Hoss is so angry.
As the tag champs are interviewed backstage, John Petuka and kbjone stop by and congratulate them on their victory. The shake the hands of the champs then walk away.....
Cage Match
Logan Scisco vs. Tommy Hall
The e-book money continues to funnel in for Tommy as he is sporting a Curtis Enis throwback in addition to his lucky Champion sweatpants. And do I see knock-off designer sunglasses too? They are fake Oakley's, or Joakley's if you will. This grudge match is the result of a feud that started after Scisco eliminated Hall at the BoD Rumble. Tommy backtracks and attempts to use the referee as a shield but Scisco unloads on him, still angry at Hall cheating to win at BoD Mania when he used the roll of nickels. Scisco grinds Hall's face against the cage. He rams his head against each side of the cage as Scisco is getting is revenge. Tommy is begging for mercy but Scisco wont have any of that. He is kicking Tommy repeatedly, who is asking for a timeout. Scisco then rips the Enis throwback off of his body!!!!!!!! You know how many e-books Tommy had to slave over to pay for that? A shitload of 'em. Logan drags Tommy to the opposite corner and sets up for a running knee but Tommy is able to dodge the attack. Tommy takes his Enis throwback and chokes out Logan, making this the only time a Curtis Enis Chicago Bears jersey has ever been useful. Tommy now chops Logan then launches him into the cage. Tommy tries to climb up the cage as Logan slowly makes his way to his feet. He yanks Tommy's leg, who splats on the mat. Logan stumbles over and drops a few elbows. Logan locks in the sharpshooter as Tommy is bleeding from his forehead. Logan is cranking back as Tommy is withering in pain. After a while, or the time it takes Tommy to sell three e-books, the hold is broken. Logan goes up top now and climbs as Tommy is getting up. Tommy gets to his feet and climbs up with Logan. He pulls Logan down as he slides down the cage. They are both near the bottom of the cage and struggle to climb up. They are both near the top as Logan fires away. He climbs just near the top as Tommy pulls on his leg and that stops Logan for a bit. Tommy reaches in his sweats and pulls out a sock. Its a loaded sock and he wallops Logan on top of the head twice, as Logan falls off of the cage!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tommy puts the sock back and we see what appears to be pennies fall out on the mat. Tommy reaches the floor and has won the match! He has done it again with that e-book money. Someone needs to humble him and prevent the flaunting of his cash. Who will stand up to this tyrant?
Backstage, Parallax is asking people if they have seen Officer Farva tonight. No one has seen him at all. Parallax looks concerned.
Special Bonus Match
Mar Solo & JoeDust & YJ2310 vs. White Thunder & Paul Meekin & WWF1987
This was added to the card today. Although they are top 20 posters, we do not know that much about some of these guys but BoD Newz Man Wade Michael Meltzer did some digging and found out some info. Mar Solo once sold a pack of cigarettes to Danny Bonaduce and Joe Dust makes one hell of a cranberry chutney every Christmas. YJ2310 is "Mr. Top 13" and starts off with the one and only blog otter, Paul Meekin. He uses his patented spin kick that takes down everyone from #14 and below on the BoD pecking order. WWF1987 tags and was the man who suggested the "shit" thread to Meekin. WWF1987 works over YJ2310 escapes and tags Joe Dust, who works the arm. White Thunder is on the apron and wants to tag but WWF1987 will not let him. White Thunder gets mad and starts to strut around like the Nature Boy but unlike the Nature Boy, he has money in his pocket. White Thunder tags himself in and gets hit by Mar Solo, who sold cigs to Bonaduce and beat his friends at Double Dribble on NES on his 8th birthday. Mar Solo bounces off of the ropes and hits a back elbow smash. Meekin makes a blind tag and boots Solo down and goes for the Otter Dropper!!!!! He goes for the pin but Mr. Top 13 makes the save and now the match breaks down. The Chutney Master gets dumped by Meekin, who gets dumped by Mar Solo. And now Solo flies out with a plancha. WWF1987 and White Thunder double-team Mr. Top 13 and try for a Hart Attack but Mr. Top 13 escapes and WWF1987 hits Thunder. Mr. Top 13 takes WWF1987 and puts him away with a Death Valley Driver. White Thunder is angry with WWF1987 and they argue until Meekin steps in and breaks it up. Lots of animosity between WWF1987 and White Thunder right now as Meekin is doing his DDP Yoga in between is next thread titled "Most Embarrassing Shart."
GM Bayless is in the ring. He brings out Steve Ferrari, still bandaged up from his beating at BoD Mania, refusing to call him Extant1979. Bayless tells him that is a bullshit name and it will never be acknowledged. He then tells Ferrari that he will be facing the Unstable tonight.
Steve Ferrari vs. Elvy Landa & Steve Stennick & Gideon Stargrave & Jesse Baker
As the Unstable makes their way to the ring, the police come out to take Elvy away, who was arrested for stalking another porn star on Twitter. It's now a 3 on 1 match. And again, Baker is stuck in the ropes. Ferrari hits Stennick with a running knee strike and that sends him off of the apron. He goes after Gideon, who responds by punching himself in the face. Ferrari sits back as Gideon hammers away at his own face. Stennick comes from behind and attacks Ferrari. A few White Coat Security guys come out and they hold down Ferrari. Baker frees himself from the ring ropes and has Gideon put a black glove on his hand. Baker approaches Ferrari, who is held by two members of White Coat Security, struggles to get free. Wait a minute, coming from the stands are Nick "The Brick" Piers andMagoonie Teddy Belmont!!!! Two of the finest parking attendant's the BoD has ever seen. The attack Stennick and Gideon runs away. And Ferrari breaks free as the three midcarders explode!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS MIDCARD MADNESS FOLKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They now go over to Baker who is throwing windmill punches while he is still stuck in the ropes. Baker manages to flee as the three midcarders who were targeted by the GM stand triumphant in the ring. The GM CANNOT BE HAPPY ABOUT THIS
Officer Farva vs. Jef Vinson
Vinson is in the ring but Farva is nowhere to be seen. The referee looks over at the wonderful timekeeper and signals for the match to begin. The referee counts and Farva still has not shown up. He finally reaches ten and the match was ended, with Jef Vinson winning by countout. Jef has his arm raised in victory but now here comes Farva, stumbling down the aisle. He has not realized that the match is over. Jef looks over at Farva, who has dropped some gimmicks from his pocket and then falls over as he goes to pick them up. I thought this guy was saved but apparently not. Is this the end of the Farva & Parallax duo?
Culstatus leaves his private dressing room backstage and runs into Jef Vinson, who reminds the champ that he is the older of the Money on the Table briefcase and tonight, he could walk out as the champion.
GM Bayless is backstage and screaming about the midcarders ruining his plans. He says that he will address the issue on the next episode of BoD RAW.
Writers Championship
Kyle Fitta vs. Stranger in the Alps (Champion)
What a battle this is going to be. Stranger took time out of his busy day slaving over old ECW Hardcore TV recaps to defend this prestigious title. Kyle takes control early but Stranger sets him straight with a lariat. He works the leg and might be setting him up for the dreaded Can Opener, which stunned his brother many of times back in their Canadian living room. Kyle fights back and shows some fire but that is stopped with a forearm to the face. Stranger's Irish whip is reversed and Kyle follows that with a running elbow smash then some chops in the corner. BOD FUN FACT: Kyle's favorite character from "Pinocchio" is in fact, Pinocchio. Back to the match, Kyle gets some nearfalls with a few suplexes but misses a flying body press and that allows Stranger to connect with the dreaded can opener for the win. Kyle will be in pain for a while.
First Blood Match for the BoD Heavyweight Championship
Parallax1978 vs. Cultstatus (Champion)
There are no disqualifications in this match. The two men stare each other down before the match. I am not 100% certain, but I think the winner of this match will be receiving a visit from Mrs. Whippleman in their hotel room tonight. These two slug it out for a bit then spill outside. Cult ducks a chairshot as Parallax tries to draw blood early. Cult spears him down then rams his head off of the floor. The Pittsburgh Snooze Lord is beating on the Short Carolina Man as they head up the aisle. They are now backstage as the catering tables are once again empty, except for the untouched salad. Cult picks up the table and tosses it at Parallax, who ducks, then takes the tray of Salad but Todd Lorenz grabs the tray and slams it on the ground, yelling "NO SALADS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" That allows Parallax to hit a running knee strike. He drags Cult back down the aisle and sends him into the guardrail. BREAKING NEWS: Our cameras are backstage as Office Farva is beating on Jef Vinson. HE WAS SOBER THE ENTIRE TIME DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!! Farva is choking him out with a child's toy stethoscope then tosses him into the wall. Farva and Parallax have devised a plan to win the belt and not have Vinson cash in his briefcase. Parallax still has control as Farva makes his way to the ring. They pick him up and hit a double suplex on the concrete. They roll him inside as Farva slides in a chair. Parallax picks it up but swings and misses as the breeze is felt up in the bleachers. Cult boots down Parallax and fires away. He hits a side slam then drops the leg. He fires Parallax over the top ropes and takes down both Farva and Parallax with a suicide dive as the BoD Arena is going crazy. He takes Farva and drops him with a clothesline. He fires Parallax over near our timekeeper and yanks away the bell and smashes it against Parallax's face but no blood. He tries it again but Farva stops him and hits Cult, but still no blood. Farva goes into the stands as Parallax has control of the match. He kicks him repeatedly as Farva has come back with a beer bottle. He gives it to Parallax and holds up Cult but from behind, he comes Jef Vinson!!!!!!! He clobbers Farva then throws him down. He goes after Parallax and lights him up near the announcers table. He is seeking revenge from the attack by Farva that was orchestrated by the wife-fucker. Cult reaches for the bottle but a struggle ensues between him and Farva. Cult lets go as Farva drops the bottle, smashing it against the floor. Parallax dodges an attack from Vinson and takes down Cult from behind. He drags him near the broken glass and looks to be setting him up for the curb stomp. He brings Cult up for the move but he blocks it and grabs Parallax's leg from a crouched position and lifts him up on his shoulders!!!!!!!! The champ shows a lot of strength here but Parallax is able to escape and land on the apron. He waits for Cult to turn around and jumps but Cult is able to catch him. Farva comes back with another beer bottle and swings but Vinson blocks the attempt. Farva takes the bottle and pushes Vinson away and goes for a swing but it misses Cult, who then takes the bottle and smashes it against Parallax's face, which is a bloody mess, for the win!!!!!!!!! Parallax's own medicine was used against him. But from behind comes Jobber123 and he attacks Cult but Vinson runs in for the save. And they beat on Jobber until Farva comes over to even the score. Parallax runs over and it is a 3 on 2 brawl as we are outta time.
I have personally dedicated this to my friend, brawsome, and all of the RSS Feeds across the universe.
20 Man Win-A-Date Battle Royal
James, DavidBonzaiSaldanaMontgomery, PrimeTime Ten, Beard Money, Hart Killer 09, Your Favourite Loser, cabspaintedyellow, Worst in the World, Mick, nebb28, C.O. Jones, Dr. Facts, juvydriver, Phrederic, Stan Ford, Bobby, Scotty Flamingo, Andy PG, Andrew Dean, X Man
20 jam-up guys in one ring to win a chance at a date with poster jessybabe, who was involuntarily chosen for this stipulation. The date will take place on BoD RAW tomorrow night. And the match gets under way and the first person eliminated is Nebb28, courtesy of Andy PG. Oh man, his pet rock was flown in for the show and that set back the GM a lot of money. Nebb hangs his head in shame as he walks by the rock. And our British representative, Andrew Dean, has been eliminated by C.O. Jones. And the true shooter of the BoD, Bobby, has just been eliminated by the man who found Mrs. Whippleman, Dr. Facts. And look at this, somebody done mess with a country boy as Beard Money is running wild. He eliminates Stan Ford, Phrederic, and X Man then caps it off with a cartwheel. HA HA HA, YES SIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The BoD Fantasy Sports Man and mediocre comedy poster, DBSM, has just been eliminated by Hart Killer 09. C.O. Jones has just been tossed by cabspaintedyellow. And James has just been tossed by Beard Money. No Daniel Bryan joining the Wyatt Family flashbacks for Andy PG here as he just tossed Worst in the World and juvydriver. And he tosses Scotty Flamingo too, who is now free to go masturbate to the anti-Dave Meltzer comments on the BoD. Mick has been eliminated after getting backdropped to the floor courtesy of Andy PG, who is on fire, unlike Kane. And surprisingly, Your Favourite Loser is still around. Dr. Facts and cabspaintedyellow are fighting near the ropes. Beard Money runs over and clotheslines Dr. Facts and cabspaintedyellow over the top ropes, eliminating them from this match. PrimeTime Ten sneaks up from behind and dumps his partner over the ropes. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT!!!!!! HE DONE MESSED WITH A COUNTRY BOY!!!! And Beard Money is irate. The final four are Andy PG, Hart Killer 09, PrimeTime Ten, and the job squad member, Your Favourite Loser. Things are getting rough as all four men are getting tired. Andy PG whiffs on a clothesline and Hart Killer 09 connects with a super kick. He picks up Andy and tosses him outside but Andy skins the cat! He charges at Hart Killer, who ducks and pulls down the ropes and Andy PG is eliminated. Good news, White Coat Security does not need the CM Punk sock puppet to help him cope with this situation. Your Favourite Loser is getting chopped in the corner by Hart Killer and PrimeTime Ten, who are now fighting with each other. Your Favourite Loser picks himself up in the corner and dropkicks Hart Killer from behind and he is nearly over the ropes and PrimeTime Ten dumps him to the floor, eliminating Hart Killer 09. We are down to the final two, PrimeTime Ten and Your Favourite Loser, the underdog. PrimeTime clotheslines down the Loser and stomps him repeatedly. PrimeTime is acting a bit arrogant now as Your Favourite Loser is hurting on the mat. He wipes the mat with Loser's face then kicks him in the back of the head. PrimeTime Ten is looking to hit his patented flying forearm and bounces off of the ropes but he sees Beard Money near the ring and stops. Beard Money yells at him and Your Favourite Loser finally gets up and hits him with a running knee from behind and Beard Money yanks the ropes and that eliminates PrimeTime Ten. And the underdog, Your Favourite Loser has won the battle royal and a date! The crowd is cheering for the underdog, who doesnt know what to do, because he has never won before. Beard Money gets in the ring and asks him to do the do si do but he is still confused as to what has happened. He looks to the crowd for support and they want him to do the do si do and he does!!!!! HA HA HA, GIT DOWN CUZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HA HA HA HA. And we have word that the date will be shown on the next edition of BoD RAW.
BoD Extreme Rules
All matches will feature timekeeper, Mister E Mahn, who is world-renowned for his abilities.
Tables Match for the Tag Team Championship
ABeYance1 & thebraziliankid vs. Adam Curry & Kyle Warne (Champions)
thebraziliankid had his family flown in from Brazil and they are sitting ringside. White Coat Security is their to prevent Parallax from hitting on his aunt. The match is under tornado rules. Everyone is brawling in the ring to start. Curry goes outside and slides in a table, as does Abeyance. Kyle and Adam were reportedly very excited over the RoH show this Saturday, making them two out of 300 people on planet earth who share the same feeling. Abeyance tries to set up the table but Warne boots him in the gut then tosses him to the floor. thebrazilian kid then fires Warne outsides and tries to fly out with a suicide dive but gets speared by Curry. Curry then hits a snap suplex and backbreaker before climbing up top. Abeyance shoves Curry off of the top, narrowly missing a table. Warne then takes Abeyance down with a superplex as bodies are everywhere. The action goes back outside as Abeyance is set up on a table. Warne goes up top but thebraziliankid hops up and tossing him down to the floor. Abeyance gets off of the table and pulls out a can of Aqua Net and a stick. The referee runs over to remind Abeyance that it is not a requirement to respond to every single post then lets him continue. Abeyance sprays two hearty squirts of Aqua Net onto the table and his now rubbing a stick together with his hands in an attempt to start a fire!!!!! GUNS DONT KILL PEOPLE, ABEYANCE KILLS PEOPLE. Abeyance is struggling to get a fire going with the stick and tries a match but he messed it up and there is no fire. thebraziliankid runs over and spears Curry then takes out Warne with a leg lariat. He runs over to his family and he sees his cousins but Abeyance seems to be struggling to figure out which Brazilian is his partner because they all look the same to him. But Curry hits thebraziliankid from behind with a chair and that sends him down. Warne tackles Abeyance and puts him on the table as Curry goes up top and puts thebraziliankid through the table with a 5 Star Frog Splash as they retain the tag belts. Oh my, a lot of miscommunication between the young guns of the BoD.
"Dancin'"Devin Harris vs. Todd "Hoss" Lorenz
GIT DOWN WITH DA D-D-H!!!!! Before the show, Lorenz had turned away the delivery truck that contained snickers bars and shook down the driver for his wallet too. Match starts off with a lockup and the DDH pushes Hoss away, who is irate. DDH dodges a charge and hits some DANCIN PUNCHES!!!!!!!!!! AND THEN HE DOES A JIG!!!!!!!!!!! HA HA HA, YESSSSIRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!! DDH hits a corner splash then gets two with a bulldog. DDH works a bearhug but Hoss escapes with a bell clap and his on the warpath. He uses clubbing forearms to the back then gets two with a backbreaker. The Hoss puts on his own bearhug as DDH is unable to get funky. He breaks the hold and gets a slam. Hoss is now going up top and this cant end well folks. He tries a splash but the DDH thankfully rolls out of the way and both men are down. The Hoss is up first and they now slug it out. The DDH wins the battle and knocks Hoss right to the mat with a right and look, he is getting FUN-KAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The DDH hits a few clotheslines then boots Hoss through the ropes. Hoss takes a breather outside and places his hand on the guardrail for support. He looks up and sees someone in the stands pull out a Snickers bar from their pocket. The fan peels open the wrapper and goes for a bite and the Hoss is irate. He knocks over the guardrail and slaps the bar out of the fan's hand. He is screaming at the fan "NO SNICKERS BARS" then picks up the fan by the throat and chokeslams him down. The referee counts to ten as DDH wins the match, via countout. Hoss is now really mad as the concession stand workers are evacuating the area. The music of DDH hits as the BoDettes come into the ring and everyone is GETTIN' DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hoss cannot handle that others are having fun right now and runs over to the sound system and destroys it all. He grabs the DJ and shakes him down for his wallet before leaving. He then goes back to retrieve the DJ's hamburger and eats that while walking away as the DDH wonders why the Hoss is so angry.
As the tag champs are interviewed backstage, John Petuka and kbjone stop by and congratulate them on their victory. The shake the hands of the champs then walk away.....
Cage Match
Logan Scisco vs. Tommy Hall
The e-book money continues to funnel in for Tommy as he is sporting a Curtis Enis throwback in addition to his lucky Champion sweatpants. And do I see knock-off designer sunglasses too? They are fake Oakley's, or Joakley's if you will. This grudge match is the result of a feud that started after Scisco eliminated Hall at the BoD Rumble. Tommy backtracks and attempts to use the referee as a shield but Scisco unloads on him, still angry at Hall cheating to win at BoD Mania when he used the roll of nickels. Scisco grinds Hall's face against the cage. He rams his head against each side of the cage as Scisco is getting is revenge. Tommy is begging for mercy but Scisco wont have any of that. He is kicking Tommy repeatedly, who is asking for a timeout. Scisco then rips the Enis throwback off of his body!!!!!!!! You know how many e-books Tommy had to slave over to pay for that? A shitload of 'em. Logan drags Tommy to the opposite corner and sets up for a running knee but Tommy is able to dodge the attack. Tommy takes his Enis throwback and chokes out Logan, making this the only time a Curtis Enis Chicago Bears jersey has ever been useful. Tommy now chops Logan then launches him into the cage. Tommy tries to climb up the cage as Logan slowly makes his way to his feet. He yanks Tommy's leg, who splats on the mat. Logan stumbles over and drops a few elbows. Logan locks in the sharpshooter as Tommy is bleeding from his forehead. Logan is cranking back as Tommy is withering in pain. After a while, or the time it takes Tommy to sell three e-books, the hold is broken. Logan goes up top now and climbs as Tommy is getting up. Tommy gets to his feet and climbs up with Logan. He pulls Logan down as he slides down the cage. They are both near the bottom of the cage and struggle to climb up. They are both near the top as Logan fires away. He climbs just near the top as Tommy pulls on his leg and that stops Logan for a bit. Tommy reaches in his sweats and pulls out a sock. Its a loaded sock and he wallops Logan on top of the head twice, as Logan falls off of the cage!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tommy puts the sock back and we see what appears to be pennies fall out on the mat. Tommy reaches the floor and has won the match! He has done it again with that e-book money. Someone needs to humble him and prevent the flaunting of his cash. Who will stand up to this tyrant?
Backstage, Parallax is asking people if they have seen Officer Farva tonight. No one has seen him at all. Parallax looks concerned.
Special Bonus Match
Mar Solo & JoeDust & YJ2310 vs. White Thunder & Paul Meekin & WWF1987
This was added to the card today. Although they are top 20 posters, we do not know that much about some of these guys but BoD Newz Man Wade Michael Meltzer did some digging and found out some info. Mar Solo once sold a pack of cigarettes to Danny Bonaduce and Joe Dust makes one hell of a cranberry chutney every Christmas. YJ2310 is "Mr. Top 13" and starts off with the one and only blog otter, Paul Meekin. He uses his patented spin kick that takes down everyone from #14 and below on the BoD pecking order. WWF1987 tags and was the man who suggested the "shit" thread to Meekin. WWF1987 works over YJ2310 escapes and tags Joe Dust, who works the arm. White Thunder is on the apron and wants to tag but WWF1987 will not let him. White Thunder gets mad and starts to strut around like the Nature Boy but unlike the Nature Boy, he has money in his pocket. White Thunder tags himself in and gets hit by Mar Solo, who sold cigs to Bonaduce and beat his friends at Double Dribble on NES on his 8th birthday. Mar Solo bounces off of the ropes and hits a back elbow smash. Meekin makes a blind tag and boots Solo down and goes for the Otter Dropper!!!!! He goes for the pin but Mr. Top 13 makes the save and now the match breaks down. The Chutney Master gets dumped by Meekin, who gets dumped by Mar Solo. And now Solo flies out with a plancha. WWF1987 and White Thunder double-team Mr. Top 13 and try for a Hart Attack but Mr. Top 13 escapes and WWF1987 hits Thunder. Mr. Top 13 takes WWF1987 and puts him away with a Death Valley Driver. White Thunder is angry with WWF1987 and they argue until Meekin steps in and breaks it up. Lots of animosity between WWF1987 and White Thunder right now as Meekin is doing his DDP Yoga in between is next thread titled "Most Embarrassing Shart."
GM Bayless is in the ring. He brings out Steve Ferrari, still bandaged up from his beating at BoD Mania, refusing to call him Extant1979. Bayless tells him that is a bullshit name and it will never be acknowledged. He then tells Ferrari that he will be facing the Unstable tonight.
Steve Ferrari vs. Elvy Landa & Steve Stennick & Gideon Stargrave & Jesse Baker
As the Unstable makes their way to the ring, the police come out to take Elvy away, who was arrested for stalking another porn star on Twitter. It's now a 3 on 1 match. And again, Baker is stuck in the ropes. Ferrari hits Stennick with a running knee strike and that sends him off of the apron. He goes after Gideon, who responds by punching himself in the face. Ferrari sits back as Gideon hammers away at his own face. Stennick comes from behind and attacks Ferrari. A few White Coat Security guys come out and they hold down Ferrari. Baker frees himself from the ring ropes and has Gideon put a black glove on his hand. Baker approaches Ferrari, who is held by two members of White Coat Security, struggles to get free. Wait a minute, coming from the stands are Nick "The Brick" Piers and
Officer Farva vs. Jef Vinson
Vinson is in the ring but Farva is nowhere to be seen. The referee looks over at the wonderful timekeeper and signals for the match to begin. The referee counts and Farva still has not shown up. He finally reaches ten and the match was ended, with Jef Vinson winning by countout. Jef has his arm raised in victory but now here comes Farva, stumbling down the aisle. He has not realized that the match is over. Jef looks over at Farva, who has dropped some gimmicks from his pocket and then falls over as he goes to pick them up. I thought this guy was saved but apparently not. Is this the end of the Farva & Parallax duo?
Culstatus leaves his private dressing room backstage and runs into Jef Vinson, who reminds the champ that he is the older of the Money on the Table briefcase and tonight, he could walk out as the champion.
GM Bayless is backstage and screaming about the midcarders ruining his plans. He says that he will address the issue on the next episode of BoD RAW.
Writers Championship
Kyle Fitta vs. Stranger in the Alps (Champion)
What a battle this is going to be. Stranger took time out of his busy day slaving over old ECW Hardcore TV recaps to defend this prestigious title. Kyle takes control early but Stranger sets him straight with a lariat. He works the leg and might be setting him up for the dreaded Can Opener, which stunned his brother many of times back in their Canadian living room. Kyle fights back and shows some fire but that is stopped with a forearm to the face. Stranger's Irish whip is reversed and Kyle follows that with a running elbow smash then some chops in the corner. BOD FUN FACT: Kyle's favorite character from "Pinocchio" is in fact, Pinocchio. Back to the match, Kyle gets some nearfalls with a few suplexes but misses a flying body press and that allows Stranger to connect with the dreaded can opener for the win. Kyle will be in pain for a while.
First Blood Match for the BoD Heavyweight Championship
Parallax1978 vs. Cultstatus (Champion)
There are no disqualifications in this match. The two men stare each other down before the match. I am not 100% certain, but I think the winner of this match will be receiving a visit from Mrs. Whippleman in their hotel room tonight. These two slug it out for a bit then spill outside. Cult ducks a chairshot as Parallax tries to draw blood early. Cult spears him down then rams his head off of the floor. The Pittsburgh Snooze Lord is beating on the Short Carolina Man as they head up the aisle. They are now backstage as the catering tables are once again empty, except for the untouched salad. Cult picks up the table and tosses it at Parallax, who ducks, then takes the tray of Salad but Todd Lorenz grabs the tray and slams it on the ground, yelling "NO SALADS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" That allows Parallax to hit a running knee strike. He drags Cult back down the aisle and sends him into the guardrail. BREAKING NEWS: Our cameras are backstage as Office Farva is beating on Jef Vinson. HE WAS SOBER THE ENTIRE TIME DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!! Farva is choking him out with a child's toy stethoscope then tosses him into the wall. Farva and Parallax have devised a plan to win the belt and not have Vinson cash in his briefcase. Parallax still has control as Farva makes his way to the ring. They pick him up and hit a double suplex on the concrete. They roll him inside as Farva slides in a chair. Parallax picks it up but swings and misses as the breeze is felt up in the bleachers. Cult boots down Parallax and fires away. He hits a side slam then drops the leg. He fires Parallax over the top ropes and takes down both Farva and Parallax with a suicide dive as the BoD Arena is going crazy. He takes Farva and drops him with a clothesline. He fires Parallax over near our timekeeper and yanks away the bell and smashes it against Parallax's face but no blood. He tries it again but Farva stops him and hits Cult, but still no blood. Farva goes into the stands as Parallax has control of the match. He kicks him repeatedly as Farva has come back with a beer bottle. He gives it to Parallax and holds up Cult but from behind, he comes Jef Vinson!!!!!!! He clobbers Farva then throws him down. He goes after Parallax and lights him up near the announcers table. He is seeking revenge from the attack by Farva that was orchestrated by the wife-fucker. Cult reaches for the bottle but a struggle ensues between him and Farva. Cult lets go as Farva drops the bottle, smashing it against the floor. Parallax dodges an attack from Vinson and takes down Cult from behind. He drags him near the broken glass and looks to be setting him up for the curb stomp. He brings Cult up for the move but he blocks it and grabs Parallax's leg from a crouched position and lifts him up on his shoulders!!!!!!!! The champ shows a lot of strength here but Parallax is able to escape and land on the apron. He waits for Cult to turn around and jumps but Cult is able to catch him. Farva comes back with another beer bottle and swings but Vinson blocks the attempt. Farva takes the bottle and pushes Vinson away and goes for a swing but it misses Cult, who then takes the bottle and smashes it against Parallax's face, which is a bloody mess, for the win!!!!!!!!! Parallax's own medicine was used against him. But from behind comes Jobber123 and he attacks Cult but Vinson runs in for the save. And they beat on Jobber until Farva comes over to even the score. Parallax runs over and it is a 3 on 2 brawl as we are outta time.
Jobbing out in a battle royal yet again. It's hard out here for a black man in the wrestling biz.
ReplyDeleteDO YA WANT ME TO DANCE, BAYLESS?! HUH, WHITE MAN?!
BULLSHIT!!!
ReplyDeletePowerade and headache pills get me through my hangovers as well.
ReplyDeleteI'm the JTG of the blog!
ReplyDeleteStill undefeated! I may not have a win, either, but I haven't lost, dammit!
ReplyDelete'Twas no hangover, English. I ran me a fever of 102.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, Bayless, another fantastic BoD Special Event. Props to you, sir.
ReplyDeleteIt wouldn't hurt your chances of getting on the card
ReplyDeleteDr gimmick rankings...
ReplyDeleteOfficerfarva >> Dr of Thuganomics >> Dr death
HA! YES!! Kudos to Brian for the use of the Can Opener. Spread the legs and drop the knee!
ReplyDeleteOpportunity and chance creates strange bedfellows. With as many harlots posing as happily married women that you've bedded you would know this Parallax. Tonight's alliance with Cult was unwanted but necessary. It is also temporary. Remember that Cult. When this is over it's business as usual.
ReplyDelete..oh and Farva...this ain't over motherfucker.
-"involuntarily chosen"... yeah, how else would you pick someone? And where's the BoD Divas division?
ReplyDelete-Loser... wins? MIKEY WHIPWRECK IS STILL ALIVE, FUCKERS! ;)
-White Coat Security couldn't stop Loser from hitting on Brazil's aunt... Parallax would make them look even sillier then they already do.
-Brazilians aren't Asian... or are we extending Abeyance's casual racism?
-HOSS MAD! HOSS ANGRY! HOSS HUNGRY! Hoss forget to win, so he can afford even more yummies. (Oh wait, he'll shake down the winner after the trip to the pay window anyway.)
-You mean Tommy's STILL in that damn Sharpshooter? (I kid, I kid... although that match might have to play out in an alternate, time-advanced universe to end by the end of this show. ;) )
-The UnStable are UnInteresting, UnCared about, and UnInmaginably Useless. (Does the Hogan "YOU!" point with each U.)
-Farva is... saved? was saved? might be saved?
-Stranger still whoopin' that writer tail.
-Main Event gets a different gimmick:
---The Good: Farva is still SAVED! Also, Hoss does not like salads.
---The Bad: Beer Bottles seem to not be a good weapon choice when you're SAVED. Or SAVING, for that matter.
---The Ugly: Parallax, after realizing he's lost out on Mrs. Whippleman. Not even Brazil's aunt could take that sad look off his face.
Loser's going to my dungeon. Hopefully he scores more than 4/10
ReplyDeleteWe all know Meekin is down there already
ReplyDeleteAnd with that we have our BoD Recapper
ReplyDelete... yay?
ReplyDeleteBayless, as a fan of these I have 1 suggestion...maybe think about spreading them out or limiting them to ppvs or something. Less might be more with something like this...might give it a longer shelf life.
ReplyDelete"And our British representative, Andrew Dean, has been eliminated by C.O. Jones."
ReplyDeleteThe only British guy's only act is to get eliminated almost immediately from a curtain-jerking battle royale. That's how it should be! Just call me 'Squire' Dave Taylor.
Yeah, he's been fumbling about for months and still doesn't know what to do
ReplyDeleteOr at least the heel announcer.
ReplyDeleteSounds exactly like his QOTDs.
ReplyDeleteI think you may need better BoD Fed lackeys.
ReplyDeleteFumbling around in a girls private area and not knowing what to do?
ReplyDeleteSounds about right.
Where the fuck were you when he was pissing away his title shot? You're like the little British guy on TNA.
ReplyDeleteGoddamn dancin, snickers and salad eating freaks.
ReplyDeleteIf the UnStable are UnInteresting, does that mean being put in a program with them is like being buried?
ReplyDeleteCrap, it does, doesn't it?
I was probably celebrating yet another non-loss on BoD programming.
ReplyDeleteUnstable = 3MB?
ReplyDeleteThat's gotta be Primetime, when he's not nearly winning a trip to the Jessy Dungeon (of Doom?).
ReplyDelete"...by Meekin, who gets dumped by Mar Solo"
ReplyDeleteThat's just crazy talk. No one is strong enough to lift Meeking over the ropes.
... little higher? I hate to make the same joke twice, but Dungeon of Doom-esque... minus the Giant or any real talent?
ReplyDeleteCaliber claims to be stronger than Hogan on the night he slammed the 3 ton Giant.
ReplyDelete(Tosses you a couple bags of Jolly Ranchers, one Classic and one Passion Fruit.)
ReplyDeleteHere ya go, something to hold you over.
Eh, the Dungeon of Doom were (amazingly) a main event stable when they came in. UnStable is clearly closer to the midcard. Maybe a bit better than the York Foundation.
ReplyDeleteHe works out.
ReplyDeleteMinus the tits and sanity? Yeah, that's solid.
ReplyDeleteNice. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteA big ol breakfast, furious whack off session, and a workout if possible. Sprite is also a cure.
ReplyDeleteThat might be the case going forward. A Special Event and a RAW or maybe two to set them up.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't think of anything creative for some of the segments
And with him at the table should be WILLYOUSTOP?!?
ReplyDelete(I had to remember who had the Monsoon avatar.)
You know nothing of my work!...How you got to teach a course in anything is totally amazing!
ReplyDeleteI actually think these are beyond stupid...everything else you do is gold though so its all good.
ReplyDeleteFamously, Hogan sent Harley Race through the ring-side furniture with a piledriver. But, he never did so to Ted Dibiase or IRS, the most he did was tease it.
ReplyDeleteCaliber wouldn't have left Money Inc. on the table like that.
Magnus? *cheesy thumbs up*
ReplyDeleteIs Harley Race the only one to have his career ended by a table spot? If so how ironic is that? (and it was the first table spot to boot)
ReplyDeleteLong set up, but the payoff was worth it.
ReplyDeleteYou're too kind, it's hideously contrived, but I thank you.
ReplyDeleteProbably not, not too ironic, and he was NOT the first.
ReplyDeleteNo. He had the first table spot in North America iirc. But his career was ended from taking a bump out of the ring, hitting his sternum on the ring apron which caused internal damage.
ReplyDeleteYou got dumped by the RVD of the BoD. You know, because he's always stoned.
ReplyDeleteTJ: watching the 'Best of Raw Off The Air' (or whatever it's called) DVD.
ReplyDeleteSo far, and I admit I'm not that far in, but so far it's a hideously boring series of current champs performing their finishers and teasing whether to stay or go.
Anyone see it further? Does it get actually any good?
no. the little lackey Rockstar Spud.
ReplyDeleteOddly, it was hitting the ringside table on a failed diving headbutt attempt, against Hogan, that caused the injury.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm sure Savage piledriving Morton through the ringside table in Memphis beat out Hogan/Harley by a few years.
But *I'M* always stoned!
ReplyDeleteAND my initials spell 'AVD'!
I CHALLENGE C.O. JONES TO A GIMMICK ON A POLE MATCH.
Just my thoughts... don't know how you get the material to write one of these, let alone multiple ones.
ReplyDeleteI keep getting the JTG treatment :/
ReplyDeleteIf it goes backwards, then absolutely.
ReplyDeleteI was listening to an old PTB podcast and when they mentioned him, I lol'd.
ReplyDeleteI always thought there was debate about which spot did it. Besides Bobby said it was the table spot....he did the 10 bell salute and everything.
ReplyDeleteI'm now 23 minutes in. There's a lot of pandering to crowds and hitting of finishers. I was expecting it to start off a little hotter, with some great lost promo from some Attitude-era favourite.
ReplyDeleteToo Cool dancing goes on for about ten minutes. Now 35 minutes in. Shawn Stasiak just flashed up as a thumbnail. Jesus.
DavidBonzaiSaldanaMontgomery was never eliminated from the opening battle royal. He still hiding under the ring? Does he even know the show is over?
ReplyDeleteI'm going off of Harley's autobio, where he basically says it was the table spot that did the main damage. More accurately, the metal band around the table "whiplashing" into his side.
ReplyDeleteAnd of course, the book's at home. I'd have to look it up later to be 100% clear.
I'm a Hart_Killer09 mark. He needs a push!
ReplyDeleteMixing your table spots... but I'll allow it. ;)
ReplyDeleteYou'll have to enlighten my as I have no idea what you're talking about. The only course I'd teach you is how to man the fuck up!
ReplyDeleteDid Harley talk about the time he chased Owen around with a stun gun for ruining his chili? I bet that was good chili!!!! Man I hope the King of Harts got what was coming to him for that.
ReplyDeleteI know Foley did, I'm not sure if Harley had that particular story. Now I'm hoping he did.
ReplyDeleteDman straight I'm excited about ROH this saturday!
ReplyDeleteNJPW is in the house!
It might have been. I get the two spots mixed up.
ReplyDeleteI've watched some incredible eliminations involving guys like Paul London, Kofi Kingston and Johnny Morrison, but... *wipes away tear in my eye*
ReplyDeleteHart Killer, that was the greatest elimination sport in the history of our business and if you're not too busy, I'd like to watch it again in the comfort of your hotel room.
BEARD MONEY! YOU PULLED THE ROPE OUT FROM UNDER MY... rope.
ReplyDeleteDefend yourself Meekin!!
ReplyDeleteWhy was I not in this
ReplyDeleteCoconut milk! !
ReplyDeleteAm I going to have to pull a Gangstas/NOD/Thuggin' And Buggin' Enterprises style "racial discrimination" angle to get booked on one of these cards?
ReplyDeleteWhere's Jesse Baker to bitch about the lack of a Farva title run? Also, I think this needs more rape and Cult to be thrown into a dumpster.
ReplyDeleteI'm not yet to the ECW stuff up on the network, I'm back in Aug. 93. Almost out of the Gilbert Era....sooo close
ReplyDeleteI don't know, I think unstable is the hottest heel act in the biz! You're working with Jesse fucking baker dude
ReplyDeletePimp gimmick would work too
ReplyDeleteCult's still champ, you didn't even make the dark match.
ReplyDeleteI'm ok with that.
ReplyDeleteEat a bowl of menudo. Kills that shit dead.
ReplyDeleteA dancin' WHAT?!?!
ReplyDelete...oh, you said SNICKERS..oh well..carry on.
He would be the one garbling it with a mouthful, and pulling the Booker T, wouldn't he?
ReplyDeleteI smell conspiracy!
ReplyDeleteThe creative well for these is almost tapped dry
ReplyDeleteAh, the dark days!
ReplyDeleteYeah, thought we were going to have to restart the match for a second there.
ReplyDeleteWould you still consider being my Facebook friend?
ReplyDeleteonly way I got a push. *sigh*
ReplyDeleteI hope I gave the proper handshake. If not, I'm fucked.
ReplyDeleteWrestlers do the dead fish handshake, right?
I WON, I WON
ReplyDeleteplease don't swerve me :(
"Things are getting rough as all four men are getting tired."
ReplyDeletei started out tired!
Of course. I like you and read all your other stuff word for word.
ReplyDeleteMany, many eliminations, a Final Four, a good skin the cat. Things are looking up for APG. Just don't say the Family name. Please. Not sure if I can handle it.
ReplyDeletei cant wait till there's a mega swerve and you and meekin team up
ReplyDeletehey, i'm pretty sure i'm *at least* a 4.1!
ReplyDelete"Loser... wins? MIKEY WHIPWRECK IS STILL ALIVE, FUCKERS! ;)"
ReplyDeleteI'M GONNA DIE
Jessy seems to have a busy night in store for you...
ReplyDeleteThat is a possibility...
ReplyDeleteWatched WMX today, as that's where I am with the 94 RAWs. What a good show. That Bret/Owen match gets better each time you watch it, and the ladder match is great as well.
ReplyDeleteA true wrestling GM would beat everything into the ground regardless of how dry the well is.
ReplyDeleteBut yeah, spreading them out, taking a break, letting volunteers write a couple matches (self-deprecating volunteers who "get it"), and not being afraid of going Russo on us would all be viable suggestions.
Four upvotes. How beautifully proper.
ReplyDeleteHe should take the day off and make sure his insurance premiums are paid up.
ReplyDeleteWe may never see Loser again!
ReplyDeleteAfter I JUST took his spot in the Top 20? I'm not sure how I feel about this, Farva.
ReplyDeleteSo it's a win for everyone!
ReplyDeleteSorry, Extant set that up to well for me to let that one go.
I should also point out that the new programmers are getting crazy with the Cheez Whiz, as kids say today, posting another MONTH of RAWs from 94 and bringing it up to the start of May now. Now this is what I'm talking about!
ReplyDeleteOkay, if the BoD would have a Divas/Knockouts/Whatever The Fuck The Ladies Would Be Called (BoDettes? Doesn't ring too well.) division...
ReplyDeletePrincess (champ)
Jessy
(girl whose name I cannot remember, she's the one with the actual female pic.)
???
Also, one of the UnStable would be pulling a Hervina/Santina, right?
ReplyDeleteFor some reason, I imagine that to be Elvy.
ReplyDelete:(
ReplyDeletefrom now on, transformers will always be a reminder of the hurt
YES! YES! YES!
ReplyDelete"(girl whose name I cannot remember, she's the one with the actual female pic.)"
ReplyDeletethat was jessy
Just, whatever you do, don't listen to Menudo!
ReplyDeleteI had to join the time keepers union.
ReplyDeleteLegit LOL.
ReplyDeleteWait, how do you see anything past the top-5?
ReplyDeleteIm not even good enough to be put in a battle royal.......
ReplyDeleteYou all fight over accolades, championships, and dates with Jessy. I am not concerned with any of that*. I have a higher calling. I answer to time itself.
ReplyDeleteI'm like a cosmic being, all abstract and shit. Such is the calling of the time keeper.
*except maybe the date with Jessy, she sounds like a freak.
Right above the comment box, it says "Scott's Blog of Doom." Click on that, then click on See More.
ReplyDeleteI think the firing of the Network guy is a great thing. We've seen more stuff added in the past couple days than we had in the previous month.
ReplyDeleteJessybabe's a blank avatar. I want to say it's Lee Lee (something), but I just cannot remember it to save me.
ReplyDeleteDon't hold your head down. "Indy Up and Comer" is better than "Never Will Be".
ReplyDeleteGot it. Thank you, sir!
ReplyDeleteFUCK YOU CAPSPAINTEDYELLOW, WHEN I'M DONE WITH YOU, YOU'LL BE SEEING RED. BELIEVE THAT, HOMIE.
ReplyDeleteI'M PISSED NOW
LLOL NIce.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry about it. Anything beyond the Top 5 is a non-issue.
ReplyDeleteYou know, us mid-carders need to see what we have ahead of us, Vinson.
ReplyDeleteIt's a glass ceiling. You won't see it...but you'll feel it when you run face first into it.
ReplyDeleteShe was a blonde, right?
ReplyDeleteMaybe I can be TNA World Champion,
ReplyDeletehttp://youtu.be/crKqKwHFcRE
ReplyDeleteThreadjack: This is what came up on my LinkedIn page for job opportunities:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.linkedin.com/jobs2/view/13397979?trk=eml-jymbii-organic-job-viewjob-link&refId=e7a67dae-7e83-474a-bea6-09a9939afd33
I have a new character for you.
ReplyDeleteHe was eliminated. I shortened it to DBSM
ReplyDeleteMe winning the Writers' Championship and hijacking it to P2B or I'm not reading this anymore.
ReplyDeleteThat's not a promise, it's an empty threat.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
ReplyDeleteSend all ideas, suggestions, and write-ups to Bbayless781@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteWhat gimmick?
ReplyDeleteYeah, Network guy gets fired then we get a bunch of stuff added. I suppose Vince's vision of what this thing is supposed to be is more along the lines of what we want it to be; or maybe we should say HHH's vision.
ReplyDeleteDBSM? Sounds like some sort of freaky internet porn niche.
ReplyDeleteYea I think they needed to find a better balance. The original amount of content was decent and they do need to have new stuff to put up for future years but it wasn't hard to look at things and go...well if they want something other than a PPV, have watched the Raws and don't care about 1982 texas wrestling....there isn't a lot here.
ReplyDeleteLooks like posting all those gifs finally paid off.
ReplyDeleteIf you give Dixie a $1,000 you could probably be the TNA World Champion
ReplyDeleteAsk Mr. Fitta how it feels to fall to the dreaded Can Opener. Fightingest champion in the BoD. Even the paper champion, Cultstatus, needs to recognize that.
ReplyDelete*A still $100 camcorder shot of a man wearing a Jason Voorhees mask and 12 year old cool flame jacket is seen.*
ReplyDelete"Vanilla Wriiiiiiiterrrrrrrs.......Soon."
*The Voorhees-masked guy proceeds to violently hit someone off-camera with something hard, then comes back into the shot with a loaded sock, which is emptied to reveal a ridiculous amount of silver dollars.*
"If you're gonna use the power of money, Monsieur Hall, at least do it right."
*Maniacal laughter is heard as the scene cuts to a blue screen saying NO SIGNAL*
Keep them in line Vinson.
ReplyDeleteJessybabe going over Meekin in squash matches.
ReplyDeletedidnt jesse have the avatar once of a blonde in a hood?
ReplyDeleteBACK OFF
ReplyDeleteif anyone's gonna disappoint her, it''s gonna be this guy!
It's a dyslexic dominatrix.
ReplyDeleteThat's the ONLY way he'd get a woman over him..
ReplyDeletescha-wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiingggg....
"Money on the Table briefcase"
ReplyDeleteawesome
Bonaduce never paid me back for those cigarettes.
ReplyDeleteFucking cheapskate.