The SmarK Rant for Monday Night RAW – 05.30.94
I feel like once we get through King of the Ring, things will pick up somewhat, because at least I know Bret Hart v. 1-2-3 Kid is coming soon.
Taped from Youngstown, OH
Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Randy Savage
King of the Ring Qualifier: Tatanka v. Crush
This was advertised as Jimmy Del Ray last week, but now it’s Crush basically just because. Tatanka has Jay Strongbow as his second, so he’s a shoo-in here. Use the great spirit of Don Corleone! Test of strength to start as Vince declares that Crush is attempting to do what NO ONE has done before – win the Kingship in the tournament and also win the tag titles in the same night! Considering last year was the first King of the Ring show in accepted WWF canon, that’s not exactly a meaningful goal. Crush gets a cheapshot on the floor to take over and pounds Tatanka in the corner, but he gets caught with a middle rope clothesline for two. The racial stereotypes on the floor threaten to get into a senior’s slapfight and we take a break. Back with Tatanka escaping a bearhug and making the comeback with the FLYING CHOP OF DOOM for two, and a neckbreaker gets two. More ridiculous “action” from the managers outside leads to a sort of brawl on the floor for the double countout at 11:08. So neither guy moves on, unless Jack Tunney should SHOCKINGLY make a ruling on this one. *
King of the Ring Report with Todd, who is just as disgusted as we are that we don’t know who the eighth guy in the tournament is gonna be. SOMEONE CALL JACK TUNNEY, FOR FUCK’S SAKE!
Vince and Macho discuss this hot-button issue, and Vince wants to go with some sort of complicated video-replay and points system scheme, while Macho just thinks they should wrestle again.
Meanwhile, Ted Dibiase hangs out at a funeral home and claims to have made contact with the Undertaker.
The 1-2-3 Kid v. George South
They’re just hauling out all the quality jobbers the past few weeks. We actually take a break before the commencement of this squash. Kid puts him down with kicks, survives the jobber offense, and finishes with a rolling cradle at 2:30.
The King’s Court with Bret Hart, as Jerry Lawler makes fun of his parents and then ambushes him by bringing out Shawn & Diesel. Bret gets powerbombed as a result.
The Smoking Gunns v. Reno Riggins & Austin Steele
Billy gets a crucifix on Riggins for two, but Bart misses an elbow and it’s over to Austin Steele. Billy comes in with a bulldog on Steele as we learn that Jack Tunney has MADE A DECISION. I’m literally on the edge of my seat. Gunns finish with the Sidewinder at 3:39.
Todd Pettingill finally has an update on the Jack Tunney situation, and the answer is that they’re gonna wrestle again, NEXT WEEK, in a lumberjack match. Apparently names like Nikolai Volkoff and IRS will be at ringside! I literally cannot wait.
Jeff Jarrett v. Chris Hamerick
Hamerick takes JJ down with an armbar, but Jarrett claims his hair was pulled and the ref believes him and forces a break. Really? I question the quality of the fake refereeing this week. Jarrett takes over with a cheapshot and gets a slingshot suplex while the announcers talk about auto racing. Hamerick comes back with a dropkick, but misses a charge by a mile and Jarrett finishes with the figure-four at 4:00 while the crowd chants “We Want Doink.” No, you really don’t.
Next week: Crush v. Tatanka in a lumberjack match! Hopefully they’ll deliver this match! Oh, also, Jerry Lawler basically promises that Roddy Piper will be on the show next week as his guest, and they definitely did not deliver on that.
I could have sworn that they did this same KotR qualifying angle with Mr. Perfect and Doink?
ReplyDeleteOnly difference was that Perfect and Doink produced good matches.
ReplyDeleteIt's weird how Headshrinkers v Yoko/Crush was announced for the PPV when they were building to a Luger-Crush match. Should have done Luger/Crush at the PPV and Quebecers getting their tag title rematch at the PPV too.
ReplyDeleteAs noted, Vince was all over the place at this point. They were building a Jarrett-Doink and Tatanka-IRS feud on the TV, but they weren't interacting on the PPV, plus the Luger-Crush example you gave as well. It was just a bunch of meandering non-storylines at this point while Vince did the steroid trials and the Charles Austin trial.
ReplyDeleteSince KOTR was a new concept at that time, maybe adding a new PPV messed with their original booking plans. In the old days when you were building up tv feuds post Mania, the matches normally took place on houseshows, but by adding a new PPV to the mix, maybe bookers were slow to react that they could finish of the tv storylines at this event.
ReplyDeleteAlthough their feud was cold by this point, I remember Luger-Crush finally getting their blowoff match on tv during the Pre-Summerslam '94 Special.
And I think Jarrett/Doink eventually settled things in the fall, but by then, Doink was already feuding with Lawler. No reason they couldn't have done Doink/Jarrett at SummerSlam, especially since Doink wasn't doing anything else, and Jarrett was working a filler match with Mabel on the show.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, just remembered that and even then I don't think announcers made any reference to the issue Doink and Jarrett had. And yeah, WWF was getting pretty weird by announcing a Jarrett-Mabel match for Summerslam when they never actually interacted with one another when they could of easily done a Jarrett-Doink match or Jarrett-Kid match (they had a tv feud post-KOTR).
ReplyDeleteWasn't really counting but this feels like the first time World champ Bret Hart has been on Raw in weeks.
ReplyDeleteMaybe Bret was still busy watching his classic match against Owen at WMX in his hotel room.
ReplyDeleteWhy do I feel in this scenarios Bret is masterbating while watching it?
ReplyDeleteMaybe he used the tear in his eyes as lube.
ReplyDeleteJust wondering, I've been catching a RAW as they come out on The Network here or there. You said it'll get better soon so when do these RAWs get to the point where I should watch every one? Is it just when we get to them going against Nitro? I honestly don't remember as all this was 20 years ago.
ReplyDeleteThey don't exactly get better as such, but there will be an odd week where you get a great match and it's almost enough to make up for all the crap you had to sit through. I think Raw only started getting better (as a product as a whole) in 1997 during the Hart Foundation/Austin era.
ReplyDeleteAnd I think Doink and Perfect wrestled like three times.
ReplyDeleteIf I remember correctly, '95 was even worse. 1996 Raw's weren't terrible so much as boring, when compared to what WCW was doing on Nitro. As Tom noted, it really took until the Hart-Austin storyline heated up before things changed (And to be fair, there was a lot of crap then, too.)
ReplyDeleteThere was a lot of crap in 1997 true, but difference was that they gave the crap nobody cared about under 5 minutes, whereas during this era for instance, we had to suffer through 15 minute IRS matches. Of course Russo would overdo where he pretty much gave every single match under 5 minutes, even the good matches.
ReplyDeleteAnd 1996 Raw was worse than '95 Raw. 1995 Raw still produced great matches here and there even if the overall direction of the company was going south, whereas in '96 the only good matches were on PPV.
That's true. During some of these old Raw matches, I just want to scream, "Holy Shit, go to the finish, already!"
ReplyDeleteYes, they did a similar angle with them going to two time limit draws before Perfect won. The next year thought when Bulldog & Owen went to a time limit draw they didn't bother with a rematch and just substituted Luger-Yoko in there, I guess because of concerns that Owen or Bulldog would have a good match and that wasn't what they were going for with KOTR 95.
ReplyDeleteHa. Instead of the whole Savio Vega deal, I really think they should of done the Owen/Bulldog rematch at the Free For All and given the push Savio got to either Owen or Bulldog.
ReplyDeleteAh, KOTR 95. The only WWF PPV more in need of a top-down rebooking than WMIX.
ReplyDelete