This has nothing to do with the WWE
I tossed this up quick and admittedly not my best work
Officer Farva arrives to the BoD Top 5 special entrance but his key does not work. He fumbles around for his keys and a few nips of Stoli fall from his pockets. All of a sudden, White Coat security comes to Farva tells us that since he is no longer Top 5, he is barred from the luxurious lounge and will head to the general locker room. White Coat Security surrounds him an escorts him away.
20-Man Win-a-Talk Show Battle Royal
Zanatude, Todd "Hoss" Lorenz, AbeYance1, thebraziliankid, Bobby, James, YJ2310, Dancin' Devin Harris, Andrew Dean, Scotty Flamingo, Juvydriver, Spicolli Driver, Dan Selby, Kyle Fitta, MikeyMike2323, C.O. Jones, Worst in the World, Logan Scisco, Andy PG, Dr. Facts
Oh boy. Lots of C-Team representation here. Everyone charges at the Hoss but he runs at them and bodies fly everywhere. Dan Selby is here from England and he is greeted by YJ2310 who tosses him in the corner. C.O. Jones is eliminated first by the true shooter of the BoD, Bobby. Scotty Flamingo is tossed next by YJ2310 as the BoD is now deprived of the "LOL Meltzer" talk show. Hoss sees a fan eat ice cream in the front row and is pissed it was served to them and runs wild. He tosses our British representation, Andrew Dean & Dan Selby, or as Abeyance refers to them as "Limey and Grimey." He's a racist, in case you didnt know. Hoss clotheslines Spicolli Driver over the top ropes as that is a talk show that will not be happening. The Young Guns of the BoD, Abeyance & thebraziliankid are teaming up and send Worst in the World over the top rope with a double dropkick. With the talk show segment being only a few minutes long, a twenty-four paragraph question would have never worked anyway. The Young Guns now eliminate JuvyDriver and Dr. Facts, two jam-up guys who probably could not have carried a talk-show segment. MikeyMike2323 charges and he takes out Kyle Fitta with a leg lariat but MikeyMike2323 gets tossed by YJ2310, who is looking to turn around the WORST YEAR EVER. Andy PG is still hanging around, despite being sick but is not looking good and Andy PG has been eliminated by Logan Scisco. Logan has not been seen since losing to Tommy Hall and he is angry, folks. Zanatude comes in from behind and he tosses Logan Scisco as we now know what the world will not be watching. Zanatude and Abeyance are going at it in the corner and Hoss and Devin Harris are battling in the opposite corner. Bobby, true shooter, is angrier than when a Saturday Night Thread PPV has not been selected and has James in an armbar. They get up but YJ2310 eliminates James by taking him over the top rope with a clothesline. I bet James will complain about the man for his elimination. YJ2310 has thebraziliankid in a headlock but breaks and charges at Abeyance, who then eliminates YJ2310 with a backdrop!!!!!!!!!! Oh man, the horrible year for YJ2310 continues as he was the 14th elimination and his year went to hell when he was the 14th ranked poster. Bobby has been eliminated by Hoss after a press slam over the top ropes. Zanatude runs over and tries to toss thebraziliankid but Abeyance breaks that up by eliminating Zanatude. The final four has been set, Hoss, Abeyance, thebraziliankid, and Dancin' Devin Harris. All four of these men can have a viable talk-show. The Young Guns go after Hoss, who brushes them off. Hoss and Harris go at it but Hoss hits him low and now Harris cannot GET FUN-KAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Hoss rakes Harris in the eyes and then eliminates Dancin' Devin Harris by tossing him over the top. The chances of getting funky on a talk show have just decreased. Hoss laughs at the youngsters then bitchslaps Abeyance halfway across the ring. He picks up thebraziliankid and then Abeyance for a double chokeslam. Hoss then eliminates thebraziliankid with an overhead suplex. The final two remain, Hoss and Abeyance. Hoss backs Abeyance against the ropes and almost has him over but Dancin' Devin Harris jumps on the apron and pulls down the ropes. Both Hoss and Abeyance are slipping. Abeyance throws punches to the back of Hoss' head and both men are falling over as Harris pulls down on the ropes again and both men hit the floor at the same time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GM Bayless comes out as the replay shows both men had their feet hit the floor at the same time. He says that we will have a poll and let the fans decide the winner and the talkshow they want to see.
Hoss's Snack Shack
Welcome to the BoD! with Abeyance
Vote here: http://vote.pollcode.com/97469918
GM Bayless now has White Coat Security Escort Abeyance to the top 5 lounge.
Parallax is seen angrily walking down the hallway. He is stopped by DavidBonzaiSaldanaMontgomery who says that he shouldnt be angry because Mrs. Whippleman is here tonight and she is married and will fuck anyone. Parallax briefly smiles then turns around and cracks DBSM in the face. Parallax picks him up and presses him against the wall and uses several knee strikes. Parallax grabs the unused salad tray from the buffet table and smashes it in the face of DBSM. Parallax then uses a curb stomp and another one, and another one as White Coat Security breaks up this massacre. We are seeing a new, violent side of Parallax tonight, folks.
Backstage, GM Bayless is speaking with his right hand man, Justice Gray. He tells him that despite not having a name for the next Special Event, he is thinking that with all of the chaos going on he thinks that he knows what he has to do. He also tells Gray that he wants him to check out these shaky camcorder videos of a guy in a Voorhees mask blowing up Honda Civic's and talking about Vanilla Writers.
Upper Midcard Express & Adam Curry & Kyle Warne vs. Paul Meekin & White Thunder & Curtzerker
Curtis Williams and Warne start out first. They go at it for a bit and then theberzerker runs in and attacks Warne. Curry tries but the referee prevents that from happening. Warne is now being quadrupled-teamed in the corner as the fans are going crazy. Curry runs in and the Upper Midcard Express shortly follow as all eight men brawl. Meekin gets kicked in the face and Petuka sends him through the ropes with a super kick. Curtzerker gets tossed by the champs as White Thunder has been living the Flair gimmick too close and has fled, possibly in violation of unpaid spousal support. The champs stand tall with the Upper Midcard Express behind them but Petuka and kbjone attack the champs from behind!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!!!!!!! Petuka and kbjone are beating on the champs as the other teams are sliding chairs into the ring. Petuka & kbjone use the conchairto on each man as the fans are in shock over this brutal assault. The Upper Midcard Express now grab the Tag Team Titles and put them around their waists as they leave the ring, with the fans pelting them with garbage. THIS WAS A SET UP GOD DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Farva is changing in the hallway as he refuses to enter the general locker room. No more does he get smoothies from Archie Stackhouse, parking from Gosh Hopkins, and clean floors courtesy of Garth Holmberg. Farva is now an intoxicated top 6'er.
As we prepare for the Mar Solo vs. Elvy Landa match, GM Bayless comes out and tells Mar Solo that since it's obvious that the Unstable are in his head, the only way to prevent them from interfering in his quest against Jesse Baker is to wrestle in a steel cage match at the next special event. Solo tells Bayless he beat these idiots in seconds and Baker lost clean as a sheet without interference. Bayless says by that response, it is obvious that they are way too deep inside of his head and this has to happen in order to make it all stop. Mar Solo cannot believe how ridiculous this whole thing is but Vince Jordan is in the crowd applauding, saying it is a great story.
BoD Solid B+ Player Championship Tournament Final
Hart Killer 09 vs. Joe Dust
This is what it has come down too. All of the sacrifice and what not. Hart Killer gains the early advantage with a dropkick. He then grounds Joe Dust, who fights back. They both go at it in the corner but Hart Killer takes control with an elbow smash. Joe Dust tries to fight back with a suplex but Hart Killer comes right back on the attack. Hart Killer takes Joe's "Nattie Ain't Shit" T-shirt and uses it to choke him out. Joe Dust fights back again and gets a few nearfalls but Hart Killer dodges a charge and crushes him with a piledriver for the win and the championship!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And look, several of the wrestlers in the locker room come out with tears in their eyes telling Hart Killer that he is the greatest Solid B+ Champion of all time. Hart Killer rates WWF1987's congratulation a 4/10 before leaving.
The Midcard Mafia are now in the ring. Nick Piers tells Bayless that he can have a janitor, security team, and a pet rock but that will not prevent him from getting his ass kicked in the ring. Piers then tells Bayless that he better "fear the Brick." Ferrari tells Bayless that no matter who he calls up from NXT or tries to bribe from the main roster, they will seek revenge on him and end the tyranny that he has created on BoD RAW.Magoonie Teddy Belmont tells Bayless that he will not change his name and no matter what he does, he and the rest of the Midcard Mafia will take him down. He then says that their first mission is killing off White Coat Security for good. All three then leave the ring focused and ready to take on the evil GM.
World Championship Match
Officer Farva vs. Cultstatus
A drunk Farva comes out to the ring and falls as he tries to get on the apron. Farva is in no condition to perform as he enters the ring and the referee has no choice but to ring the bell. Cult looks bothered as he wasted his time for this but from behind comes Parallax as he attacks the champ with a chair. He is laying into Cult and then sets up the chair for a curb stomp and hits Cult. Parallax is out of his mind as he attacks Cult and Jobber runs out to assist him with the attack on Cult. We get a report backstage and we see the Upper Midcard Express attacking Jef Vinson. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN THE BoD. In the ring, Jobber and Parallax are setting up to powerbomb Cult off of the top rope and through a table that is set up on the floor but the Masked Man runs in and breaks it up. He tosses Jobber through the ropes as Parallax escapes. Farva is tanked and on the outside. The mystery man walks towards the ropes and looks at Parallax and Jobber and unmasks and reveals himself as...................................................................THE FUJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE ARE OUT OF TIME, FOLKS
I tossed this up quick and admittedly not my best work
Officer Farva arrives to the BoD Top 5 special entrance but his key does not work. He fumbles around for his keys and a few nips of Stoli fall from his pockets. All of a sudden, White Coat security comes to Farva tells us that since he is no longer Top 5, he is barred from the luxurious lounge and will head to the general locker room. White Coat Security surrounds him an escorts him away.
20-Man Win-a-Talk Show Battle Royal
Zanatude, Todd "Hoss" Lorenz, AbeYance1, thebraziliankid, Bobby, James, YJ2310, Dancin' Devin Harris, Andrew Dean, Scotty Flamingo, Juvydriver, Spicolli Driver, Dan Selby, Kyle Fitta, MikeyMike2323, C.O. Jones, Worst in the World, Logan Scisco, Andy PG, Dr. Facts
Oh boy. Lots of C-Team representation here. Everyone charges at the Hoss but he runs at them and bodies fly everywhere. Dan Selby is here from England and he is greeted by YJ2310 who tosses him in the corner. C.O. Jones is eliminated first by the true shooter of the BoD, Bobby. Scotty Flamingo is tossed next by YJ2310 as the BoD is now deprived of the "LOL Meltzer" talk show. Hoss sees a fan eat ice cream in the front row and is pissed it was served to them and runs wild. He tosses our British representation, Andrew Dean & Dan Selby, or as Abeyance refers to them as "Limey and Grimey." He's a racist, in case you didnt know. Hoss clotheslines Spicolli Driver over the top ropes as that is a talk show that will not be happening. The Young Guns of the BoD, Abeyance & thebraziliankid are teaming up and send Worst in the World over the top rope with a double dropkick. With the talk show segment being only a few minutes long, a twenty-four paragraph question would have never worked anyway. The Young Guns now eliminate JuvyDriver and Dr. Facts, two jam-up guys who probably could not have carried a talk-show segment. MikeyMike2323 charges and he takes out Kyle Fitta with a leg lariat but MikeyMike2323 gets tossed by YJ2310, who is looking to turn around the WORST YEAR EVER. Andy PG is still hanging around, despite being sick but is not looking good and Andy PG has been eliminated by Logan Scisco. Logan has not been seen since losing to Tommy Hall and he is angry, folks. Zanatude comes in from behind and he tosses Logan Scisco as we now know what the world will not be watching. Zanatude and Abeyance are going at it in the corner and Hoss and Devin Harris are battling in the opposite corner. Bobby, true shooter, is angrier than when a Saturday Night Thread PPV has not been selected and has James in an armbar. They get up but YJ2310 eliminates James by taking him over the top rope with a clothesline. I bet James will complain about the man for his elimination. YJ2310 has thebraziliankid in a headlock but breaks and charges at Abeyance, who then eliminates YJ2310 with a backdrop!!!!!!!!!! Oh man, the horrible year for YJ2310 continues as he was the 14th elimination and his year went to hell when he was the 14th ranked poster. Bobby has been eliminated by Hoss after a press slam over the top ropes. Zanatude runs over and tries to toss thebraziliankid but Abeyance breaks that up by eliminating Zanatude. The final four has been set, Hoss, Abeyance, thebraziliankid, and Dancin' Devin Harris. All four of these men can have a viable talk-show. The Young Guns go after Hoss, who brushes them off. Hoss and Harris go at it but Hoss hits him low and now Harris cannot GET FUN-KAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Hoss rakes Harris in the eyes and then eliminates Dancin' Devin Harris by tossing him over the top. The chances of getting funky on a talk show have just decreased. Hoss laughs at the youngsters then bitchslaps Abeyance halfway across the ring. He picks up thebraziliankid and then Abeyance for a double chokeslam. Hoss then eliminates thebraziliankid with an overhead suplex. The final two remain, Hoss and Abeyance. Hoss backs Abeyance against the ropes and almost has him over but Dancin' Devin Harris jumps on the apron and pulls down the ropes. Both Hoss and Abeyance are slipping. Abeyance throws punches to the back of Hoss' head and both men are falling over as Harris pulls down on the ropes again and both men hit the floor at the same time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GM Bayless comes out as the replay shows both men had their feet hit the floor at the same time. He says that we will have a poll and let the fans decide the winner and the talkshow they want to see.
Hoss's Snack Shack
Welcome to the BoD! with Abeyance
Vote here: http://vote.pollcode.com/97469918
GM Bayless now has White Coat Security Escort Abeyance to the top 5 lounge.
Parallax is seen angrily walking down the hallway. He is stopped by DavidBonzaiSaldanaMontgomery who says that he shouldnt be angry because Mrs. Whippleman is here tonight and she is married and will fuck anyone. Parallax briefly smiles then turns around and cracks DBSM in the face. Parallax picks him up and presses him against the wall and uses several knee strikes. Parallax grabs the unused salad tray from the buffet table and smashes it in the face of DBSM. Parallax then uses a curb stomp and another one, and another one as White Coat Security breaks up this massacre. We are seeing a new, violent side of Parallax tonight, folks.
Backstage, GM Bayless is speaking with his right hand man, Justice Gray. He tells him that despite not having a name for the next Special Event, he is thinking that with all of the chaos going on he thinks that he knows what he has to do. He also tells Gray that he wants him to check out these shaky camcorder videos of a guy in a Voorhees mask blowing up Honda Civic's and talking about Vanilla Writers.
Upper Midcard Express & Adam Curry & Kyle Warne vs. Paul Meekin & White Thunder & Curtzerker
Curtis Williams and Warne start out first. They go at it for a bit and then theberzerker runs in and attacks Warne. Curry tries but the referee prevents that from happening. Warne is now being quadrupled-teamed in the corner as the fans are going crazy. Curry runs in and the Upper Midcard Express shortly follow as all eight men brawl. Meekin gets kicked in the face and Petuka sends him through the ropes with a super kick. Curtzerker gets tossed by the champs as White Thunder has been living the Flair gimmick too close and has fled, possibly in violation of unpaid spousal support. The champs stand tall with the Upper Midcard Express behind them but Petuka and kbjone attack the champs from behind!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!!!!!!! Petuka and kbjone are beating on the champs as the other teams are sliding chairs into the ring. Petuka & kbjone use the conchairto on each man as the fans are in shock over this brutal assault. The Upper Midcard Express now grab the Tag Team Titles and put them around their waists as they leave the ring, with the fans pelting them with garbage. THIS WAS A SET UP GOD DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Farva is changing in the hallway as he refuses to enter the general locker room. No more does he get smoothies from Archie Stackhouse, parking from Gosh Hopkins, and clean floors courtesy of Garth Holmberg. Farva is now an intoxicated top 6'er.
As we prepare for the Mar Solo vs. Elvy Landa match, GM Bayless comes out and tells Mar Solo that since it's obvious that the Unstable are in his head, the only way to prevent them from interfering in his quest against Jesse Baker is to wrestle in a steel cage match at the next special event. Solo tells Bayless he beat these idiots in seconds and Baker lost clean as a sheet without interference. Bayless says by that response, it is obvious that they are way too deep inside of his head and this has to happen in order to make it all stop. Mar Solo cannot believe how ridiculous this whole thing is but Vince Jordan is in the crowd applauding, saying it is a great story.
BoD Solid B+ Player Championship Tournament Final
Hart Killer 09 vs. Joe Dust
This is what it has come down too. All of the sacrifice and what not. Hart Killer gains the early advantage with a dropkick. He then grounds Joe Dust, who fights back. They both go at it in the corner but Hart Killer takes control with an elbow smash. Joe Dust tries to fight back with a suplex but Hart Killer comes right back on the attack. Hart Killer takes Joe's "Nattie Ain't Shit" T-shirt and uses it to choke him out. Joe Dust fights back again and gets a few nearfalls but Hart Killer dodges a charge and crushes him with a piledriver for the win and the championship!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And look, several of the wrestlers in the locker room come out with tears in their eyes telling Hart Killer that he is the greatest Solid B+ Champion of all time. Hart Killer rates WWF1987's congratulation a 4/10 before leaving.
The Midcard Mafia are now in the ring. Nick Piers tells Bayless that he can have a janitor, security team, and a pet rock but that will not prevent him from getting his ass kicked in the ring. Piers then tells Bayless that he better "fear the Brick." Ferrari tells Bayless that no matter who he calls up from NXT or tries to bribe from the main roster, they will seek revenge on him and end the tyranny that he has created on BoD RAW.
World Championship Match
Officer Farva vs. Cultstatus
A drunk Farva comes out to the ring and falls as he tries to get on the apron. Farva is in no condition to perform as he enters the ring and the referee has no choice but to ring the bell. Cult looks bothered as he wasted his time for this but from behind comes Parallax as he attacks the champ with a chair. He is laying into Cult and then sets up the chair for a curb stomp and hits Cult. Parallax is out of his mind as he attacks Cult and Jobber runs out to assist him with the attack on Cult. We get a report backstage and we see the Upper Midcard Express attacking Jef Vinson. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN THE BoD. In the ring, Jobber and Parallax are setting up to powerbomb Cult off of the top rope and through a table that is set up on the floor but the Masked Man runs in and breaks it up. He tosses Jobber through the ropes as Parallax escapes. Farva is tanked and on the outside. The mystery man walks towards the ropes and looks at Parallax and Jobber and unmasks and reveals himself as...................................................................THE FUJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE ARE OUT OF TIME, FOLKS
I knew as saw as that 8-man tag was booked that that was coming.
ReplyDeleteIt's all part of the master plan
ReplyDeleteMore logical than any real wrestling tonight.
ReplyDelete*Pulls down shades, puts on Kufi"
ReplyDeleteYou're goddamn right I'm gonna complain about the man again, Bayless! Y2J and Bobby teaming up to eliminate me wasn't just mere coincidence. Oh no, I'm sure they realized how much of a threat I was to win and knew that their best bet was teaming up to take me out. And you know what? I wouldn't be shocked if you hired them to team up on me, Bayless!
Y2J310, I want your ass in the ring next week! And you better keep your buddy Bobby and his Klan hoody away from the ring. Oh, you're gonna be crying to your fancy middle class house when you get stuck in the ring with one angry, fed up nig-
*~*~*PLEASE STAND BY*~*~*
Great stuff Bayless, loved the ending, and my show name.
ReplyDeleteQuality as always. I like being an angry asshole
ReplyDeleteYou are also part of the plan.
ReplyDeleteWife-fucking shit was getting old.
ReplyDeleteYou are going in an angry direction
Yeah, Farva drunk because he's depressed about not being a top 5'er, all seems to roll together.
ReplyDeleteThis was great as always Bayless and a fun read. But man, you CAN take a week or more off! I agree with Parallax, you are going to burn yourself out and go all Beno.....
ReplyDelete*PLEASE STAND BY*
"Wife-fucking shit was getting old."
ReplyDeleteYou have no idea
And Bayless. This didn't look bad at all.
ReplyDeleteThanks.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing that burns me out is the Daily Update stuff, which only takes a few minutes of my time, because the comment section can become completely unreadable and seems like a waste of my time
You come across many wives that fuck shit? Because that can't be sanitary and could lead to UTIs.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't do what now?
ReplyDeleteMan, when the hell will the Midcard Mafia get a damn match already?
ReplyDeleteCarry a talk show segment.
ReplyDeleteZING!
ReplyDeleteThen give it up. Just post a random open thread everyday and let people find their own fucking news.
ReplyDeleteWell, you're popular man.
ReplyDeleteThe GM wants to keep you down but at some point, he will snap and have you let to wrestle.
ReplyDeleteYou are the underdogs who by sheer determination will fight through the evil GM's roadblocks and make themselves known.
I personally like the daily update since I don't go to wrestling news sites, this is the only rasslin site I really read. As for the comments section, yeah I get that but I think a lot of us like a thread where we can BS throughout the day and talk about a multitude of topics.
ReplyDeleteThat is why I wont give it up.
ReplyDeleteScott asked for it and I volunteered
I like this idea.
ReplyDeleteSame, it's how I know what's going on in wrestling.
ReplyDeleteTell scott to just install the google news plugin (if they have that for blogger) and just post an open thread.
ReplyDeleteJust call it, "The Thread"
ReplyDeleteIf you want as a sign of gratitude I'll buy you a pizza sometime in the next week.
ReplyDeleteHey! I thought that was OUR thing!
ReplyDeleteI have a strong feeling your going to win the poll.
ReplyDeleteFor the benefit of those with flash photography or a "PrtSc" button... KBJone and I will now pose for the next five seconds.
ReplyDelete...thank you.
I have no problem doing it as is.
ReplyDeleteA few days it can feel frustrating but like anything else in life, you can get over it
Ok, now it's time to see this B+ title that Jef loves.
ReplyDeleteI voted for Hoss
ReplyDeleteWell see were it goes.
ReplyDeleteWell as long as you are ok with it. We don't need you to meltdown since, unlike all the previous meltdowns, you are not an arrogant asshole
ReplyDeleteThe fans were clamoring for the return of RSG and his #1 fan!
ReplyDeleteYeah, you 2 would be perfect tag title competitors, but can the fan handle tagging with his idol without getting star struck?
ReplyDeleteHa.
ReplyDeleteI can assure you I will not have a meltdown. Its a computer that if I do get that frustrated, I can turn it off and do something else. I am pretty mellow most of the time
Weed?
ReplyDeleteWell you just went around accepting pizza from any Tom, dick and Harry around here so I'm allowed to throw my pizza around to anybody I want!
ReplyDeleteThat reveal at the end made no sense. Illogical.
ReplyDeleteZing is what that one wife said whilst you were fucking her.
ReplyDelete/thread & burn of the year.
Nope.
ReplyDeleteJust how I am I guess
They didn't mean anything! I thought about you the whole time!
ReplyDelete(Actually that drunk bastard never gave me my pizza)
Yeah it does, Fuji buried the hatchet with Cult and wants to help him.
ReplyDeleteTUNE IN NEXT WEEK TO BoD RAW TO FIND OUT WHY IT IS LOGICAL
ReplyDeleteFortunate. I have serious anger issues and have done all kinds of shit to learn to deal with them.
ReplyDeletenext week seems like a long time to wait. I WANT MY EXPLANATION NOW!
ReplyDeleteFarva hasnt posted in 11 days. Wonder what happened?
ReplyDeleteDo you know much money I am going to have to spend on ointment because of you now?
ReplyDeleteThat's a great way to view this whole thing. I think where Caliber failed was he took it too seriously and couldn't detach. Yeah, if you had a meltdown, that would be a sad day.
ReplyDeleteI am legit concerned for his well being... he was REALLY hammered that last day and I suspect it was more than booze... hope he didn't get locked up or... you know die.
ReplyDeleteYou have no idea how seriously Caliber takes the internet and believes his own nonsense
ReplyDeleteI hope it's just work.
ReplyDeleteFuj and I have had beef in the past
ReplyDeleteSame
ReplyDeleteI finally made the show as the man who won't be parking Farva's car anymore....Part one of my 63 point plan is now underway!
ReplyDeleteTune in 6:05 to BoD WorldWide this Sunday:
ReplyDeleteWatch the true shooter of the BoD, Bobby, take on the man he eliminated from the Battle Royal, C.O Jones
Plus, favorites like "Pistol" Pete Labozetta, Brian Gutan, and your main event, Dancin' Devin Harris vs. Zanatude!!!
With Cailber back, we need him to feud with WWF1987, then Fuji.
ReplyDelete*A still $100 camcorder pans to see a police style target silhouette of Tony Garea, for some reason. Suddenly, a whooshing sound is heard.......AND A NERF DART STRIKES THE PICTURE OF GAREA DEAD BETWEEN THE EYES! Suddenly, the guy wearing a Voorhees mask appears, toting a nerf gun in the shape of a Goldeneye grenade launcher.*
ReplyDelete"Soon Bayless, you and your crew of vanilla writers that couldn't draw a dime if they had the art skills of Monet........will be welcomed to a place worse than Riverdale.......a place worse than Detroit.....a place worse than even LOS ANGELES.........."
*Voorhees mask suddenly turns.....ITS THE DETROIT PD! Two members of the Detroit PD come out looking for police brutalit-BURNING LARIAT! OFFICER TENDIME HAS BEEN COMPLETELY DESTROYED! Officer Putski fires a taser that......doesn't work? Whats going o-BURNING LARIAT! OFFICER PUTSKI HAS BEEN COMPLETELY DESTROYED!*
"OH COME ON, DON'T ACT SO SURPRISED! EVEN FRANKENSTEIN HAD TO KICK A FEW VILLAGER ASSES TO GET OVER! And since YOU won't let me get over.........soon I'll come......and I'll embarrass you and those vanilla writers so bad only ONE place in this world will want to take them in.......
*Voorhees Mask turns over the Tony Garea police target.......AND REVEALS THE 411MANIA LOGO! BLUE SCREEN! NO SIGNAL!*
I think we ran him off again
ReplyDeleteLooks like rspwfaq.net is going to lose their next sports match. Looks like you would have been better off going to 411mania.
ReplyDelete(Is that how cheap heat on the internet works for recently turned heels?)
63? That's it? I have an 8675309 point plan underway, I'm only on part three.
ReplyDeleteRoss Perot? Is that you?
ReplyDeleteI might shoot him an e-mail to make sure that he is okay
ReplyDeleteI ran out of space on my Toshiba Word Processor so I had to trim the better ones.
ReplyDeleteNot a bad idea.
ReplyDeleteGreat as always.
ReplyDeleteMy identity and life is not based and defined on the internet and for some people, it really is. I am not chasing a dream for stardom. This is all fun and hobby for me. For him, it was his life.
ReplyDeleteYou could still see him basically beg for writing gigs in the 411 comment section as recently as a month ago
All of the posters on this website are dumb!
ReplyDelete$45,667.04
ReplyDeleteI couldn't even into the Battle Royal? What am I, JTG?
ReplyDeleteI was just invited to wrestle on the BoD Power Hour this week! I was told to wear plain trunks, an ill-fitting mask and to just get into the ring without music or a televised entrance. I feel good about the future of French masked star L'ardeau!
ReplyDeleteI sent him an email today he still hasn't responded though.
ReplyDeleteGuy Chabert
ReplyDeleteI sent him an email saying we were worried about those very things earlier today, we'll see if he responds.
ReplyDeleteYou might want to read the rest. Parallax totally gave you the rub.
ReplyDeleteI will do the same
ReplyDelete(The following takes place outside a McDonald's 3 blocks from the BOD arena. Archie is carrying a drink container with 5 Iced Coffees and a giant bag labeled 'Top 5'. He continues walking back towards the BOD arena, whistling a merry tune in between speaking.)
ReplyDelete"I wish I could enjoy walking the streets of this cesspool of a town as though it were my treasured Riverdale, but sadly, even the very IDEA of Riverdale is beyond comprehension for the lost souls that line the back alleys of this place."
A homeless man staggers to Archie and asks for some change. Archie smiles and puts his arm around him.
"Let me give you more than simple money, my friend! Let me open your eyes to the wonder this place could be! Tell me....have you heard of Riverdale?"
Homeless man shakes his head. 'So hungry', is all Archie can make out. Archie laughs and nods.
"I'll feed your hunger....for a better place, my friend."
Archie picks him up on his shoulders! Spins around! BURNING HAMMER onto the concrete of the alley! The man lies, unconscious and bleeding. Archie picks up the Iced Coffees and food and continues walking, then stops. Gently places a double quarter pounder with cheese underneath the man's bleeding nose. Continues walking.
"Another new neighbor for my Riverdale; what a wonderful night it's turning out to be, my friends! There was no degeneracy tonight at BOD Raw; no Buck Nasties in my perfect world tonight. Where were you, Buck Nasty? No ride from your Bettys or Veronicas tonight? What happened to your chariot, Buck Nasty?
Remember, Buck Nasty, you may have won a simple battle at Payback, but I will win the war, because in the end, I have what you don't - the vision of a better world. A world with no Buck Nasties, no Tommy Halls, a world without the sin and disgust that you are craven in soliciting.
I saw you last night, Buck Nasty. Not just in my dreams, but after Payback, watching you be carried from the ring to 'celebrate' with your Bettys and Veronicas. I saw what you did in the darkness to.....it disgusts me, Buck Nasty. Your time of indulgence will reach it's end soon, Buck Nasty. If you believe in anything, believe that.
As for you, Tommy Hall, you won't be forgotten any time soon. I'll be coming for you next, Tommy Hall, and all the Panera bread won't be enough to save you from the descent into madness that accompanies your journey into Riverdale.
Buck Nasty, for you, the trip has only just begun. Prepare.
Welcome to hell. Welcome.....to Riverdale."
Ah my nemesis from BoD FF league.....This year I will beat you I swear...the nFo won't lose..yet again...
ReplyDeleteYeah I think he has trouble with the difference between the way we act here (our character if you will) and the way we are supposed to act in real life...I come off FAR differently here than I do anywhere else which is part of the appeal, but I can shut it off when it is time.
ReplyDeleteDBSM rules the FF league.
ReplyDeleteI won the baseball last year.
I fell apart in the basketball and I think DBSM won that too
My finisher the Burning Croissant will not be seen, but it's impressive
ReplyDeleteI'm the John Cena of BoD fantasy football; unsufferably always coming out on top.
ReplyDeleteAnd fantasy basketball for that matter, too. DUAL TITLES, JERICHO-STYLE
That is gold.
ReplyDeleteSomeone is getting a shot at BoD World Wide
Yeah, you could really see that with him. How he took this as a serious job and not just a fun hobby to mess around with. Nobody should let the interweb define their life, that's just sad.
ReplyDeleteWell,I'm 50/50,I'm much more quiet in real life.But the stuff about my family issues it's true
ReplyDeleteThe first year I was in there till my running backs fell apart.....last year I had a decent run even after my starting QB lost his season in the first month....This year I will not fail....as badly
ReplyDeleteOne of the nicer parts of the Bronx
ReplyDelete(PrimeTimeTen is approached by a camera.)
ReplyDelete"When we get in the ring I'm ringing the... I'm sorry, can we go again?"
"PrimeTime, we're live."
"Any doubters will get their answer tonight!"
I got a good idea with how he seemed while on the blog. He really took it seriously. I'm guessing he's the same on FB then?
ReplyDeleteI always have injury problems and start stiffs at RB
ReplyDeleteEach year, I have won the division and lost in the first round of the playoffs.
Yup. He constantly posts inane shit, and comments on virtually everything I post... he especially likes to run down Planet Fitness when I check in there.
ReplyDeleteYou are included in the "all" since you post on this website.
ReplyDeleteFAIL
Man you really got me there
ReplyDeleteHonestly, my biggest issue lat year was the honeymoon from hell keeping me away from any working computer for seven months. I look forward to my second second chance to rise.
ReplyDeleteHoneymoon from hell? Sounds like there is a story there...
ReplyDeleteWhat happened on the honeymoon if you dont mind me asking
ReplyDeleteI'd just like to say before he starts... it wasn't my fault.
ReplyDelete*rimshot*
ReplyDelete*In the back getting stitched up*
ReplyDeleteYou know. Pain is a relative thing. It comes and goes. Hell it's a part of life. I deal with the pain of jealousy every time I step in that arena. I deal with the pain of reading your posts..I mean really spell check is not a hard thing to use. I deal with the pain of carrying this albatross called a MitB briefcase. Hell I've even dealt with the pain of booking by Bayless because he's the commissioner.
But what pisses me off beyond all pistivity is a bunch of Special Olympics kids called the Upper Midcard Express having the NERVE to put their unmanicured hands on me. The audacity of you evolutionary U-turns for touching me.
*pushing the doctor out of the way*
You cause me pain I'm not used to..the pain of embarrassment. See Farva pinning me was no big deal, because he USED to BE someone. You losers are *BEEP* NOBODIES!! You understand me!
I'm gonna cause you the greatest pain you ever experienced, because I'm gonna expose you the greatness that comes with being in the ring with me. And after I beat you half to death and you wake up in the hospital you will realize that small glimpse of greatness that you've experienced will be gone. When I'm done kicking your spines out of alignment I will discard you like the GARBAGE you are and much like seeing Hailey's comet your once in a lifetime experience with greatness will be OVER and you will go back to being NOTHING. That will burn you to the core of your pathetic souls knowing that the TWO of YOU is not equal to even HALF of ME!!
Yes, when you're in the ICU watching reruns of MASH and eating your meals through an IV you will realize what I am: A GREAT chapter in the history book of the BoD, and you two bitch-asses won't even be a *BEEP* footnote! And as those thoughts bounce around in your brain damaged skulls the last thing you hear as that ECG machine puts out his last beep and flatlines will be the nurse saying that YOU should NOT have *FUCKED* with that man.
*sitting back down calmly*
Gentlemen, get your affairs in order. Your expiration date is at hand.
Indeed.
ReplyDeleteis rollins positioned to be the biggest heel in the wwe universe now, for breaking up the shield?
ReplyDeleteI don't know if they necessarily have to be on the same page right off the bat. They've been trying to kill each other for months after all. Regardless of the route they go with Rollins' motivation, I like the idea of Orton and Rollins initially being at each other's throats with HHH trying to sell the move to Orton as something that "had to be done."
ReplyDeletehe was part of age of the fall, which will probably tell you a lot
ReplyDeletewhen he took 2 chairs, i figured it would be one for him and one for ambrose, so that they both could lay out reigns.
ReplyDeletepleasantly surprised that it was only rollins turning
which spot are we talking about here?
ReplyDeletehis dog spot, his liver spot
or...mah spot?
/nash-as-arn never gets old
This guy sends me links like this ALL the time. A 16-DVD set of repackaged Superstars squashes is merely the most egregious lately.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely. This wasn't some cool heel shit--- that was a guy ending something that the fans legitimately loved. Rollins is positioned to be a bigtime, main event, world title level heel.
ReplyDeleteYep. And people complaining that this came out of nowhere, THAT IS THE POINT. Rollins wasn't some Evolution spy, he didn't turn heel until sometime between HHH's promo at the start and the end of the show.
ReplyDeleteI don't get the crying about the Shield breaking up. They just turned one hot act into 3.
ReplyDeleteAlso I want to point out how awesome Heyman was on commentary selling Sheamus using a small package to beat CESARO like it was the cheapest dirtiest heel move ever.
I feel for your inbox
ReplyDeleteTotally. WWE booking has been so vanilla and straight forward for so long that a shocking SWERVE like this is a pleasant surprise. (Plus it's not completely illogical, as they've been teasing Shield breakups since last Fall, and Rollins already teased a turn himself before Mania.)
ReplyDeleteAnd you know why I think it's a great idea? Because when that segment ended I got sucked in and wanted to see Rollins get his goddamn ass kicked.
That'd work.
ReplyDeleteAgreed. Seth Rollins basically became the most hated heel in WWE by a mile. Sets up Rollins vs Ambrose, Rollins vs Roman, and Rollins vs Bryan PPV matches for the next year. Sounds pretty good to me.
ReplyDeleteYou know how we're all mad that The Shield is broken up? THATS THE POINT.
Rollins always has had a huge ego to, so it fits his character that he would be the one to jump.
ReplyDeleteAmbrose makes no sense joining Evolution.
Plus, there was literally nowhere else for them to go as a group.
ReplyDeleteAmbrose as a heel is a natural, but you're right he wouldn't fit in Evolution. Heel Ambrose needs to lead some sort of gang of psychopaths, or go it alone. Dean in a suit and a limo makes no sense.
ReplyDeleteRollins on the other hand slides into the role of pampered megadouche pretty well, I'd bet.
Right. They've beaten every combination on the roster. WWE would honestly have to bring in Rock or Austin to buy any other group as a threat to the Shield.
ReplyDeleteAmbrose's confused puppy dog look killed me. I could totally see his character turning that into rage and going scorched earth to get back at Seth.
ReplyDeleteYUP. He looked so fucking sad, like he didn't want to believe it was actually happening. That's what's so great about this angle--- if they handle it correctly, there's actual emotion involved. The fans cared about The Shield. All three guys did a great job of making fans believe that they cared about eachother--- even when they were heels.
ReplyDeleteRollins vamps it up as a suit-wearing, limo-riding douche. Ambrose goes all psycho Punisher. Reigns promises to break everyone's neck.
The potential is there for this to be really, really good.
I never liked Rollins and this just proves I'm right. He was a jerk when he jumped ship and signed a WWE contract while he was still ROH champ and he's a jerk now for leaving the Shield just because Triple H made him an offer. Why anyone would ever trust the guy in the first place is beyond me. One thing's for sure, they shouldn't have named him SETH Rollins--Benedict Rollins would have been much more appropriate.
ReplyDeleteI saw his action figure at Target the other day. Forget kung-fu action grip, that collectible ought to come with a back stabbing action grip. What a scum!
Do you work for Pro Wrestling Illustrated?
ReplyDeleteYou make me sad.
ReplyDeleteHBK kicking HHH in the opening moments of the 3 way at survivor series vs Cena.
ReplyDeleteAustin and HHH finally getting to hit each other at NWO 2001.
The Rock Inside Cradling Bossman to pin him in 4 seconds at Survivor Series 98.
Randy Orton's Crappy Barbwire 2x4 coming unraveled as foley charges him with barbie at Backlash 2004.
Rock/Hogan's Staredown at WM 18.
Ultimate Warrior vs Honky Tonk Man
Anytime the wrestlers fight over a lockup and fall to the floor without breaking the lockup. I think DDP/Goldberg did this, but not sure if its the immediate opening.
Last June, I went to see The Dark Knight Rises at a midnight screening. I had some where to be afterward, but I specifically came home to write up a short review, and post it on the BoD so that website would be the first to have a review before ANYONE. Before 411mania, insidepulse, or any of the other wrestling websites that also talked movies. I don't make myself late so I can help my site, no, I make myself late so I can help SCOTT'S website. Then everyone started being the pricks that they are, because I didn't enjoy the film that much. Then a few hours, what does Scott do? He posts a review of the movie that some random person emailed him. Does he even mention mine? Thank me? Nope. I also did the same thing for Iron Man 3.
ReplyDeleteDidn't you quit? Three times?
ReplyDeleteAlright, you called my bluff, and it's crystal clear I won't be getting my apology.
However, I'm gonna swallow my pride and come back if you'll have me.
As I said, there's money on the table that you're not taking advantage of. You seem to sort of do the bare minimum for the BoD, when you could do a lot more and honestly not have to have a day job.
If I come back, I can tell you about a lot of the ideas I have for the site, as well as finally get the BoD Podcast off the ground. As a guy who's written/recorded over 50 songs and has a degree in audio engineering, I know a thing or two about creating a podcast. It would be an immediate success due to the BoD's popularity, and I think I'd be able to make it rather entertaining.
As for what I want to do when I return, I don't want the QOTD back, I'm happy with what Meek's doin, instead I want to start the fitness article I was primed to do right before I left. It's something everybody said they'd like to see, and I know it'd be a hit. Along with a few wrestling reviews thrown in there for good measure.
You don't even have to bother responding, if I'm back I'll see "new post" as an option when I go to the site when you reinstate my posting abilities, and I'll know it's go time. When I see that, I'll fill you in with the ideas I have for the site, as what can be done with the podcast.
I truly want to come back to the BoD and write again. I miss the experience, and honestly have a handful of great ideas.
ReplyDeleteIf I wasn't, then I wouldn't have even bothered, seeing as how you could simply post these emails and show everyone how Mr. I Want My Apology came crawling back.
ReplyDeleteBoy, how he can manage to do everything, yet excel at nothing, is a remarkable feat.
ReplyDeleteI was cool with it being up while I was gone, as I knew I'd come back, but since it isn't happening, I'd like you to remove it. There are a ton of people at the BoD who'd probably jump at the chance to design a new banner, or you could just use one of those free graphic generators online. Either way, please take mine down.
ReplyDelete. I also realized when it comes to writing, I'm not nearly as good as I think I am. I
ReplyDeletealso realized I need to be a hell of a lot more mature when it comes to a lot of things in life.
I have a bit of an ego, and I honestly need to check it at the door. I promise if you allow me to come back that it won't ever happen again, and you'll receive absolutely no waves from me whatsoever.
ReplyDeleteI want to learn to download torrents. Any advice?
ReplyDeletenot gonna lie... i actually felt some sadness as he beat down the others, knowing that the awesomeness of the shield was over. that's good storytelling, when you feel whatever happens
ReplyDeletei hear you, therefore i will holla
ReplyDeleteOnly if YA HEAR ME
ReplyDeleteWait...
ReplyDeleteThis one immediately came to mind. Single most impressive finish in wrestling history...I thought Shelton was legit unconscious. The crowd was marking out like crazy.
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't have to be over.
ReplyDeleteNecessarily.
It needn't be... because....
Sami...
is....
COMING
Except the finish ruined the whole concept of the Ultimate X match, since it begged the question of why didn't people just always jump at the belt in future matches?
ReplyDeletePapa Shango vs Repo Man sounds interesting. Did one of them have a face run in 93? I was also surprised to see that Jim Brunzell and Virgil were teaming with jobbers.
ReplyDeleteI swear to god if they fuck up this heel turn, they might as well just go ahead and release Rollins. I have a feeling this is Vince Mcmahon whining about losing $350 million, and lashing out as a result. (But that's just my theory of course)
ReplyDeleteI remember an inventive bit of booking in the HHH/Austin feud was that they were paired as tag partners, and punched each other in the face to tag each other in.
ReplyDeleteYour life is Shenmue. I hope you get to avenge your father.
ReplyDeleteSay what you will about Russo, but at least they had some memorable moments. I watch regularly and could barely tell you who all the champions are, but I'll always remember "Sweet Jesus! A penis!"
ReplyDeleteThis is ALL you'll ever need
ReplyDeletehttp://www.amazon.com/Greatest-Guide-Downloading-Enjoying-Torrents-ebook/dp/B00DOAZD0K/ref=la_B00JDYOADC_1_1/190-4339268-5155052?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1401799978&sr=1-1
There's also this thing called google.
ReplyDeleteI actually think they made the best choice of a bad decision. If they had to do this (which evidently Vince just HAD to do this) who needs the most help and rub to get over? The guy with the IT factor, the guy with charisma and personality like crazy, or the multi colored hair guy who does some cool moves.
ReplyDeleteYet you can still hear Austin telling Benoit to "kill that son of a bitch" at ONS 2005.
ReplyDeleteNot as unique as Benoit vs. Nancy/Daniel.
ReplyDeleteWendi Richter?
ReplyDeleteShane vs. Pit Bull did it first.
ReplyDeleteYour dedication to kayfabe is admirable.
ReplyDeleteHonest question, why do you keep coming back here?
ReplyDeleteTrue. And it's kinda funny they wouldn't save him for Raw to pop a big rating. (Although, to be fair, I guess everything they did back then was popping a big rating.) That Iron Man match was so awesome, though.
ReplyDeleteThe standing under whichever Briscoe it was as he was hung from the ceiling upside down and his blood rained down on them is one of my Top 10 favorite things I have ever seen in wrestling.
ReplyDeleteAnd fuck ROH for banning that scene from dvd releases, etc.
I worry his "Tazz body" will hurt him
ReplyDeleteI like Rollins alot, I just worry he wont ever fully fit into the main event scene as a solo, and just be a mid carder
ReplyDeletedoes fan cam footage exist? or was the only way to see it to be there live? i've always wanted to see it. The whole Project 161 thing sounds intriguing; i should get some of the dvd's recapping it
ReplyDeleteDont worry Buck, THE BEERS ON ICE
ReplyDeleteHmmm idk man. They briefly put it up on their Videowire thing on YouTube. That's how I saw it
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvXotHRiFxo
ReplyDeleteRaven/Benoit: raven smiling as he passes out in the crossface.
ReplyDeleteWarrior/Hogan.
Austin/Bret I quit match at wrestlemania
Barry Horowitz v skip at summerslam.
Hell yea there it is. Jimmy Jacobs was awesome. Too bad he never made it out of the indies
ReplyDeleteYeah, they could have easily had one guy or the other go over in the IronMan match, because the multiple falls allow both dudes to look great in the end. Just do Taker's big return the next night on Raw and kick off some kind of Rock-HHH-Taker triple threat build for KOTR or Fully Loaded.
ReplyDeleteAngle tapping out Hogan.
ReplyDeleteLesnar wiping Hogan's blood on his chest.
The finish to Austin-HBK at WM14
Also, god forbid Rock should ever get his decisive win over HHH in that timeframe. He loses in a nonsense finish at Wrestlemania, needs Austin's help at Backlash to regain the title, then needs Taker to clean house at Judgment Day (only to lose anyway by DQ in the deciding fall).
ReplyDeleteHey guys, sorry, but that's not me. I'm flattered that someone wants to be Caliber Winfield, but thankfully, there's only one, and that's me.
ReplyDeleteBeat it troll
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I'm flattered. Truly, I am. I always knew I was doing right when people started impersonating me. You even got an awesome picture of me looking super buff.
ReplyDeleteBut could you just change your name to "Caliber Fan" or something? C'mon, it's your boy, asking you for a solid.
Ha who is this? Farva?
ReplyDeleteSee, I'd never say "Ha". Also, I'd have a lot more votes per comments ratio. Yours is pretty pathetic.
ReplyDeleteHunter's ego is never more obvious than when looking at how he interacted on TV with Rock and those associated with Rock.
ReplyDeleteYeah, it was out of control. I was all for WWF finally embracing the idea of a semi-dominant Flair-like NWA heel...but Rock never really got his moment of decisive victory.
ReplyDeleteYeah, the problem with Hunter is their were definite times in 2000 (and later), where clearly the best thing for business would have been for him to lose, and he never did. He does get all the credit for putting guys like Benoit and Bryan over, though.
ReplyDelete