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PG Era Rant Raw, 06.09.14

When last we left our heroes... hang on, let me check what happened when I was away...


...sigh. When last we left our heroes, HHH found a way to win even when he lost. With the most dominant faction of our time broken apart by someone jumping from the winning side to the losing side, a compelling explanation is going to be needed.

And not just for Rollins. Word is coming out that Daniel Bryan is unable to compete down the road, which we probably could've guessed all along. But he's refused to surrender the title he needs to surrender, and the title being on the shelf hurts the show. So how do you get around this? Time to get your best writers out and explain.

The PG Era Rant for Raw, June 9, 2014.

Live from Minneapolis, MN.

Your hosts are as they are.

Your pre-show notes:

SUPERSTARS: Dolph Ziggler vs. Titus O'Neil; Adam Rose vs. Heath Slater.
RAW HAPPENINGS: News on Daniel Bryan; Seth Rollins breaks his silence; Sheamus vs. Bad News Barrett (MITB Qualifier); Rob Van Dam vs. Antonio Cesaro (MITB Qualifier).

And we open with the Authority, which makes me think the news is as bad as feared. HHH says it's a good night to be right. Stephanie goes into more detail: the Authority has the privilege of making a blockbuster announcement, such as this one. See, everyone's been wondering what will happen with the WWE Title situation. But tonight, they have a resolution. We hear from Dr. Joe Maroon himself about the injury: he is not medically cleared to compete... yet. He will still be re-evaluated. Stephanie interprets this as saying Daniel Bryan cannot compete. She says the fans can't be that disappointed: you can't get A+ recoveries from B+ players. And hey, the WWE is a business, not a fan club. And what's best for business is having an active champion – which Bryan can't be. Therefore, Stephanie says it's necessary to vacate the title. The crowd's NO chants won't change reality. Hey, it's what they warned last week: if he can't compete, he must be stripped of the title.

They're sorry that Daniel Bryan is hearing this for the first time right now – they TRIED to tell him earlier. Oh, and sorry to Brie, who quit for what's now no reason. But unlike them, the show must go on. Therefore, there will be a Ladder Match for the WWE Title at Money in the Bank. There are a series of qualifiers – one of which already happened, so Alberto Del Rio is already in. The next person to enter will be Randy Orton, who deserves it. So, at the PPV, there will be a new WWE Champion. Stephanie: “Amen to that!”

HHH says it's funny how after WrestleMania, people wanted to rub it in the Authority's faces about Daniel Bryan. When Bryan got “the fluke victory of a lifetime”, they wanted to be right. But HHH is right: Daniel Bryan is not championship material. And this proves it. Bryan isn't even here tonight. And another thing: adapt or perish, remember that? But everyone wanted to talk about how great the Shield is... but Evolution adapted (via Seth Rollins) and the Shield perished. We see the replay of last week, as Seth Rollins makes the most inexplicable heel turn of the year. (I picked the wrong week to skip, didn't I?)

Back to live, where HHH says he believed in Seth Rollins. Ambrose and Reigns are then told that tonight, what's left of the Shield will end with a whimper. The duo will face the Wyatt Family in a six-man tag team match. If they can find a partner, which likely won't happen because they've made a ton of enemies. Tonight, this will be history as the Shield becomes extinct. The Shield will perish. The difference between this and the 20-minute promos we joke HHH does is that it lasted 10 minutes.

Tonight: Sheamus faces Bad News Barrett in a qualifier!

So Daniel Bryan isn't good enough to be champion and loses the belt while HHH gloats about controlling the universe. It's September again and no one told me.

Question: how is Legends' House so popular?

Money in the Bank Qualifier: Sheamus v. Bad News Barrett. But first, we have Bad News: They say that the ones you see on the way up are those you see on the way down. But once Barrett makes it to the top, he's not coming down. They tangle in the corner, which leads to a contentious break. Barrett clubs away on Sheamus in the corner (and the crowd's behind Barrett), but a whip is reversed to a Sheamus clothesline. Kneedrop follows, and a few more. Barrett recovers and works over Sheamus in the corner, adding a short clothesline. Sheamus rolls to the apron and ambushes Barrett there, tying him up to threaten the Ten of Clubs, but Barrett escapes and knocks Sheamus to the outside. Barrett dives off the steps onto Sheamus, and back in, he runs into a clothesline from Sheamus. Sheamus sends Barrett to the apron, and here's the Ten of Clubs. Sheamus suplexes Barrett back in for two. Sheamus to the middle rope, but the kneedrop misses and Barrett gets a big kick. Sheamus ducks a clothesline and does a Cactus bodypress as everyone's on the outside when we go to break.

Sheamus/Barrett, part two. The belts still hang over the ring as Barrett has a chinlock on. Sheamus punches out, but a blind charge by Sheamus eats elbow. Barrett follows with a tornado suplex (you got a better name for it?) for two. Barrett stomps away and goes up, but the second-rope elbow hits the knees. Sheamus fires up and gets some Irish Hammers to start the comeback. Kneelift, but Sheamus's running knee attempt eats elbow. Sheamus recovers with the Irish Curse for two. Sheamus goes to the top again, but Barrett catches him in the corner. Sheamus fights him off, but Barrett charges the leap and gets Winds of Change when Sheamus recovers, getting two. Barrett looks up as he hooks up Wasteland, but Sheamus stops it. Big kick misses, but Sheamus with an Oklahoma Slam for two. Crowd is divided. Sheamus goes for Brogue, but Barrett sees it coming and ducks to the apron only to get dropkicked. Sheamus dives off, but Barrett moves aside and Sheamus splats into the barricade. The crowd senses a countout, but Sheamus is in at nine. Wasteland gets two. Barrett preps the Bull Hammer, but he runs into the Celtic Cross for two. The two men slug through the ropes on their knees, but when they get up, Sheamus rocks Barrett only to get headbutted. Barrett begins kicking Sheamus in the head repeatedly and throws him into the ringpost twice. He pulls Sheamus in and kicks away, but when the ref pulls him away to prevent a DQ, Sheamus lands the Brogue Kick to win it at 13:11. Man, I love watching these two knock each other senseless. ***1/2 According to the graphic, it will be a 7-man match.

We go backstage to the Wyatts. Harper says that they're labelled pariahs. But sometimes, Harper gets urges from some dark place. And Bray's back to pick up on urges – which every man has. The measure of a man is to admit them and control them. The Shield used to refer to themselves as dominant. But Bray remembers differently. Shield fell victim to lust, greed, and desire for glory. And now, tonight, they will burn for their sins. Bray is reborn. The bond of the Family cannot be broken, and their urges cannot be satisfied. Rowan delivers the punchline.

You know, Cole is spending all this time upset about Randy Orton being placed in the Money in the Bank Ladder Match, but think about it: he's the former champion; he wasn't beaten at WrestleMania – Batista was; and he's never had his rematch. For once, I want JBL to point this out.

Lana says to compare superpowers by comparing their leaders. She says Obama oozes weakness and is a sissy. (It works – the USA chants begin.) Apparently the Russians call him a girly man. And as proof – Obama's workout tape on YouTube. Vince must be REALLY amused by this. Now compare to Putin. Putin is strong, virile, and a man amongst men. Putin will crush Obama. It's apparently only a matter of time before the US gives out and Russia takes his place. And what's this Gold Star medal anyway? Ah, something else from last week. (Seems like last week was a 2.)

Alexander Rusev v. Zack Ryder. JBL says that he just might move to Russia. He's in rare form tonight, by the way. Rusev charges Ryder and knocks him down with headbutts, then clubs away. An elbow to the back of the head knocks Ryder over. Ryder fights back, but Rusev shoves him aside. Ryder with knees to the face, but he runs into a superkick. Rusev Crush ends it at 59 seconds. Just another squash. We get a giant Russian flag to celebrate Rusev's win, which saves half the crowd from seeing him.

Later tonight, Seth Rollins has some explaining to do to Michael Cole!

Rusev may have the least amount of charisma I've ever seen. Not a joke.

Rybaxel v. Goldust and R-Truth. Xavier who? Cody is watching backstage to see if this works. Ryback and Truth start, and Ryback pounds away and throws Truth in the corner. Axel in, and he double-teams Truth and gets a dropkick. A little trash talking follows, and Ryback returns for a double suplex getting one. Axel back after some Ryback headbutts, but miscommunication allows Truth to tag Goldust. Clotheslines to Axel, then the kneeling uppercut. Inverted atomic drop and big kick follow. Powerslam off of a whip to Axel, and Goldust goes up and takes both men out with a twisting bodypress. Cody is watching as Axel cuts off Goldust, but he gets the Destroyer for two. Truth in, but Ryback dumps him out. Spinebuster from Goldust, but Axel cradles Goldust to steal the pin at 2:15. Cody is none too happy. This has “bad idea” written all over it. 1/2*

Backstage, Layla is getting her hair done and is trash talking the people of Minneapolis until Summer Rae throws milk all over her and wrecks the makeup table on her. You'd think the makeup lady would've warned someone.

All we learned is that Summer Rae is from Minnesota. Or so they say.

3MB says the Shield was supposed to come out and talk, but they're not here... okay, yes they are. 3MB isn't backing down, though, and the fight is on. Ambrose takes out Slater. Mahal and Reigns head outside. McIntyre catches Reigns from behind, only for Ambrose to take him out. Now the Shield are dominant and McIntyre goes into the timekeeper's area. Mahal eats barricade as Ambrose dives onto McIntyre. Slater wisely walks away, but Reigns ran around the arena and spears Slater anyway (off-camera). So now that 3MB are disposed of, the Shield do have something to say.

Ambrose tries to calm himself down before saying that the Shield was untouchable. They WILL go down as one of the greatest groups ever. The Shield were dominant, beating everyone up to and including Evolution. But they weren't healthy; there was a cancer in them named Seth Rollins. (Ambrose is barely containing himself.) History is full of traitors. People who would stab brothers in the back and sell out – everyone knows someone like that. Ambrose says he will have the opportunity to re-arrange Seth's face, he'll move Seth's nose about three feet over by his ear – yes, singular. He'll rip the hair out and stuff it where Seth's teeth used to be. Seth, “my brother”, is scum, and he's looking forward to what he has to say. Go ahead, lie through your teeth. They want to hear HHH's words from his mouth. They will listen, and they will beat the hell out of him. (Rollins is watching backstage in a suit.)

Reigns says Rollins is unforgivable. He calls Rollins the scum of the earth. There are things you don't do – one of which is stabbing your brothers in the back. But he's only part of the problem: Evolution's a problem. Orton acts like everyone owes him something. When Reigns is done, he won't be the face of the company, but the ass of the company. And then, HHH is next. Reigns isn't scared of the King of Kings, and promises his own Game of Thrones. Believe that.

Later tonight: Seth Rollins promises to explain! Plus, it's Shield/Wyatts V, but who's teaming with Ambrose and Reigns?

Ah, there's the Dean Ambrose I know and love. Without raising his voice, he made it clear how furious he was. There needs to be a little more of that, please.

The Usos v. Fandango and Damien Sandow. Damien Sandow is doing some rhythmic gymnastics routine. Layla is still a mess, as we recap why. The heel side is making me feel dumber by the minute. Fandango and Jimmy start, and Fandango gets a tackle before a criss-cross leads to a Fandango handspring. Jimmy gets an atomic drop and smacks Fandango, who tags in Sandow. Sandow does ballet warmups using the top rope as the bar. Sandow with a headlock takeover and he holds it. Jimmy breaks (as the crowd cheers Sandow of all people), but Sandow attacks and poses. He hooks the ropes and does some ballet moves, only to turn around into a superkick. Fandango gets one as well, and the Superfly Splash ends this at 2:20. Was this joke supposed to be funny? DUD

Later tonight: Seth Rollins TALKS!

I want to love this show, but there's just so much inanity. It's an important show – and I get a feeling something big is coming in the main event that might change everything – but so far it's been some decent to good stuff and a lot of inexplicable.

Xavier Woods v. Bo Dallas. Woods has his NXT music now. Bo's official nickname is “The Inspirational”. Dallas says he knows Daniel Bryan is at home watching and is upset. But there's one way Daniel can come back: if he Bo-Lieves! Lockup, and Dallas goes behind. Woods reverses, Dallas goes to a headlock and holds on, and after some reversals, Woods does a fireman's carry takedown. Dallas applauds him before another lockup, and he gets the arm. Woods handsprings out only to run into a knee. Dallas with a series of back elbows and a clothesline, and he celebrates. He encourages Woods to get up (“He's doing his best!”), but he walks into a slugfest that Woods wins. Woods is sent to the outside, where he catches Dallas and goes up, but Dallas with something resembling a Bull Hammer and Stratusfaction for the pin at 2:32. Dallas celebrates as only he can – with a victory lap. 1/2* He even offers Woods some encouragement and a hug. The crowd was so happy to see Woods on offense during this match they chanted for CM Punk.

Rob Van Dam! Antonio Cesaro! It's a qualifier! NEXT!

I'm gonna be honest: Bo Dallas should be facing people higher up the ladder. Rusev is at least going to get over through saturation if he keeps beating people who are bigger deals, but Dallas – who has a gimmick that COULD get him over – is stuck trading offense with nobodies. It's not a smart thing.

Ladies and gentlemen, his name is Paul Heyman. He's the one behind The One. They're cheering his pronouncing of “Brock Lesnar”. Brock's been groomed to make history ever since his time at Minnesota. The crowd cheers... so Heyman says that Brock had an idea to do something special on Raw tonight. It's the right time and right place for a WrestleMania victory party. Therefore, your next WWE Champion wishes to celebrate his biggest win tonight. Fresh off of his history-making moment at WrestleMania... celebrate as we present... CESARO! What, you thought Lesnar was going to show up?

Money in the Bank Qualifier: Antonio Cesaro v. Rob Van Dam. RVD with a headlock, but Cesaro shoves off and runs into some spinkicks for not even one. Back to the headlock, but Cesaro tackles him down and catches Cesaro with a backbreaker for two. Cesaro with forearms, but RVD reverses a corner whip and gets a monkey flip. Cesaro runs into a boot, and RVD gets a flying kick as Cesaro bails. RVD follows him out with a flip senton splash as we go to break.

Not sure why they did it, but the bait-and-switch of Lesnar/Cesaro has just killed the crowd for this match. They're very quiet right now considering who's in it.

Cesaro/RVD, part two. The titles are still over the ring. Meanwhile, RVD is stuck in a headlock by Cesaro. Crowd demands Lesnar. RVD punches out of it, flips over a backdrop attempt, and gets the stepover enzuigiri for two. RVD runs into a fallaway slam by Cesaro. Cole finally begrudgingly admits Orton never got a rematch for his championship. RVD rolls out of the ring, so Cesaro follows and throws him into the barricade. Back in, Cesaro with an uppercut and double foot stomp for two. He's back to the chinlock now. Crowd now starts to rally behind RVD a bit. RVD elbows out and lands a spinkick as both men are down. RVD with a clothesline as they get up, then some boxing. Cesaro misses a running uppercut and runs into a flex kick, and the Split-Legged Moonsault gets two. RVD works the gut in the corner and lands a spinkick. A rolling monkey flip, though, is caught into an elevation uppercut for two. Cesaro works RVD over in the corner, following up with a butterfly powerbomb for two. RVD ducks a clothesline and gets the leg cradle for two. Big kick leads to Rolling Thunder for two. RVD with a running spinkick on Cesaro, but Cesaro reverses a whip only to run into an elbow. Cesaro trips RVD in the corner, then works over his legs in the corner. Cesaro laughs in RVD's face before hooking the Neutralizer, and that's it at 10:52. How in the world can these two have such awful chemistry? **1/4

Meanwhile, Randy Orton is on vacation. Man, is anyone here tonight?

We look back at what HHH said about the “six” man tag earlier tonight. We then hear the Shield's rebuttal. Up next, Michael Cole interviews Seth Rollins!

Okay, writers, you've had a week. What's your reason for a guy switching from winners to losers?

Michael Cole is in the ring and introduces “the man who's been at the center of controversy this past week.” Rollins's new music opens sounding like a siren, rather than give him the Evolution music. The crowd gets a weak “You Sold Out” chant. Cole tries to open the questioning, but Rollins interrupts. He doesn't see any controversy, because what he did last week was no big deal. He just did what was Best For Business – his business. The Shield was the greatest faction, and Rollins created it. Therefore, he has the right to destroy what he created. It's not like Dean Ambrose is responsible for the Shield, because he's just a lunatic. And Roman Reigns? The so-called golden boy? Sure, you'll never see anger or fury in a man like in him, but unless someone controls it, he's worthless. Bottom line, Ambrose and Reigns are worthless without him and they owe him for everything they've done.

Cole says that many people believe the Shield was about all three men. Rollins says they'll find out later tonight against the Wyatt Family when the Shield has its last hurrah. But Rollins now has a question: why is this such a surprise? Rollins took the Shield to the top, conquering the world. They beat Evolution in a clean sweep – but Rollins learned from Evolution that to be a success in This Business™, you have to evolve and adapt. Crowd is now fully chanting You Sold Out. But Rollins says he bought in to the Evolution of Seth Rollins. And something no one will admit: what he did took guts. Sure, you think about stabbing someone in the back and betraying the Shield. Maybe to those other Shield members, they were brothers, but to Rollins, they were business partners. So Rollins moved on in business. For two years, every night, he put his fist out to believe in the Shield. And every night, he actually meant that everyone should believe in HIM. So, there's the answer. Right?

Oh, wait, Dean Ambrose said he was going destroy Rollins, remember? So Rollins is ready for it, clearing the ring. He's said his part, so come on out! And here come Ambrose and Reigns! Rollins won't back down an inch... and the Wyatts interrupt everything. Now, where Rollins was, Harper and Rowan are. And it's Rollins calling the shots. Reigns fights off Rowan while Harper and Amrbose are even. Harper and Rowan bail as Ambrose and Reigns dive for Rollins, but Bray Wyatt is out and it's a 3-on-2. Crowd wants Cena to make the save... and here he comes! Cena dumps Bray as the Shield dump Harper and Rowan! Looks like the Shield actually does have a partner for tonight. Play the SHIELD'S music! Rollins is nowhere to be found.

They're figuring out how to make people cheer Cena some more. I think it's time to stop being ironic and to admit: it's okay to cheer the faces.

Your main event main event is Seth Rollins against Dolph Ziggler.

So here's what just happened. The announcers confirm John Cena as the third man.

Paige v. Alicia Fox. Fox has Aksana in her corner. Lockup, and Fox sends Paige into the ropes. Paige rolls out and nearly attacks Aksana before ducking Fox as the heels collide. She rolls Fox in, and Fox replies with a dropkick to send Paige down. Back in, we hit the chinlock. Fox swings it back and forth to make it stronger. Paige fights to her feet, but Fox reverses to a Northern Lights to two. Back to the chinlock after a knee to the back. Fox screams about pulling hair by Paige. Paige to her feet, but Fox yanks Paige down by HER hair. Paige with a rollup out of nowhere for two, and Fox follows with a clothesline for two. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two. She goes to the headlock as the crowd starts to get on her case. Fox stops a rally with a mule kick and throws Paige out of the ring sideways... wait, no, Paige reverses it with a headscissors. Paige kicks away at Fox and delivers knee smashes as Fox is tied up in the ropes. Paige shrieks before delivering short lariats to Fox. Dropkick (sort of, as Fox moved too soon) gets two. Paige stops Fox with an elbow, but Fox yanks her off the ropes. Aksana gets in Paige's face and is told to step back, so Paige sends Fox into Aksana. Heels bang heads, and it's the PTO for the submission at 4:58. Fox is getting better. *1/4 Aksana tries to wake Fox up and calms her down. Not that it works, as Fox attacks Aksana during her tantrum. She then steals some popcorn and water from ringside and dumps it on Aksana. And then she has a slap fit on Aksana. And stufs some food in Aksana's mouth before apologizing and giving her a hug. And a kiss on the forehead. Here, Aksana, eat some more! And then she apologizes again.

Tonight's main event! Bray, Harper, Rowan! Cena, Ambrose, Reigns!

Okay, Fox's act is amusing and all, but it went on a tad too long IMO. Kind of like Raw in general.

Jack Swagger v. Santino Marella. WHY? Why is this on at 10:25? Santino's inset promo is actually pretty good, as he says to “export” Zeb “Carter” back to Hell. Santino with a cartwheel out of a whip, but he gets caught in the corner, only to escape and get a forearm. Santino with a hiptoss and Swagger bails in frustration. Colter slaps Swagger over and over to fire him up, and this time he catches Santino and tosses him in the corner. Santino's thrown from pillar to post, and Swagger gets the Greco-Roman slam. Blind charge goes into the post, and it's Cobra Time. But Swagger blocks and connects with the Red White and Blue Thunder Bomb for the pin at 1:55. Hey, if it gets him over, great, but still – this match should've been at 8:30, not 10:30. And I say this as a Swagger fan. WE THE PEOPLE!

Tonight is your main event! Cena, Ambrose, and Reigns face the Wyatts!

And you're beginning to see the weakness. You have such a deep roster that a meaningless match like this shouldn't happen AT ALL. Even the squashes earlier had a point – getting over Rusev or Dallas. This I don't get. I'd have put it on after Sheamus/Barrett and moved Rusev here against... actually, against Marella, while Swagger is rebuilt against Ryder. But what do I know? I'm just a fan who has to watch three hours of this.

WWE Network has a 90% approval rating.

Meanwhile, backstage, Goldust is upset, but Cody has another idea for his tag team partner. It's someone Goldust has never seen before, but who can match his star power. Goldust just wants a name as Cody hypes him up. That'll be next week. Goldust isn't thrilled.

We see again that Daniel Bryan will not be cleared to wrestle by Money in the Bank, so the WWE Championship is vacated. This means the Money in the Bank Ladder Match is for the WWE Championship.

We go backstage as the Authority looks over the match and enjoys it. Stephanie has trouble with John Cena interrupting Stephanie last week and helping the Shield this week. But HHH agrees that tonight is the last time we'll see the Shield. Vickie Guerrero wants to celebrate the loss of both Brad Maddox and Daniel Bryan with some champagne, but she sneezes all over Stephanie. Stephanie threatens her job and tells her to leave.

Our main event is next.

Next week: Kevin Hart will be on Raw from Cleveland!

Man, this show has had a lot of nothing tonight. I usually get to about 10-12 pages, but it's the main event and I doubt we're getting to 9.

Main event: Dean Ambrose, Roman Reigns, and John Cena v. Wyatt Family. But first, your SmackDown main event is Sheamus against Cesaro. Note to Bray Wyatt: you're the bad guy; stop saying where you are. Cena's not sure how to handle the 3-by-3 staredown. And it's a war before the bell. Eventually, Ambrose and Rowan start as Cena goes to his corner. Ambrose avoids a charge and boxes down Rowan, getting a bodypress and attacking in the corner. Ambrose piefaces Harper and dives onto him for fun. Dropkick to Rowan and he rakes the face, bringing Reigns in. Reigns with the ten-punch countalong in the corner on Rowan. He tries a whip, but Rowan holds firm only to get an uppercut. Reigns with a lariat to take out Rowan, but Rowan follows up with a forearm smash, and enter Harper. Harper tries a suplex, but Reigns blocks three times before reversing for one. Reigns backs Harper in the corner and Ambrose tags himself in. Reigns tosses Ambrose into Harper, and Ambrose ties up Harper's leg and dropkicks it. Dragon screw follows, then a half-crab. Harper kicks out of it, but Ambrose fights all three guys only to run into a boot from Harper for two. Bray in now, and he gets a shot in the gut and a slam on Ambrose. Wyatt taunts Ambrose, slapping him around before landing a hard right to floor him. Wyatt chokes away and brings in Rowan, who uses a boot choke. Ambrose is tossed outside, and Rowan follows by tossing him into the barricade. But Ambrose reverses a whip and sends Rowan into the steps. Bray tags in and cuts Ambrose off with stomps. Ambrose is again in the corner, where Bray boxes and headbutts him down, and Harper enters with a running kick. Harper goes wild-eyed before adding an uppercut for one and going to a headlock. Crowd wants Cena. Or doesn't. Hard to say with the crowd. Ambrose with a jawbreaker, and he fights one-handed until Harper catches a boot and throws Ambrose onto his face for two. Harper sends Ambrose to the floor as we go to break.

Main event, part two. Rowan has the neck crank on Ambrose, turning it to a neck pinch, but Ambrose headbutts out before walking into a Dino Bravo side suplex for two. Bray in, and he sends Ambrose into the corner and gets an avalanche. He wants Ambrose to do something, anything, all but turning his back on Ambrose, but his next charge eats boot. Ambrose is up top, so he dives off... straight into an uranage from Bray. Reigns saves, so Harper ejects Reigns. Harper then tags in and gets an uppercut. More uppercuts as the crowd gets behind/on Cena. Ambrose throws himself out of the corner with a clothesline, and FINALLY it's hot tag Cena. He goes to town on Rowan with the video game comeback, complete with Five Knuckle Shuffle. Harper is sent out over the top and Bray is knocked down, but Rowan runs over Cena. Rowan works over Cena in the corner with forearms and a boot choke. Rowan with a straight right hand to Cena, and Bray comes in. An uppercut floors Cena, and the running senton follows, getting two. Bray kicks at Cena's leg, then punches Cena down. Bray tries to lead the chorus, but the crowd isn't into it as much as usual. Cena with a dropkick from nowhere, and both men are in the wrong corners. Bray intercepts Cena and tags Harper in. Harper with a front elbowdrop and more mugging. Harper ties Cena in the Tree of Woe and and slugs him, then picks him up and gets a torture rack neckbreaker for two. Gator Roll follows, into a front headlock. Cena fights out but runs into a Michinoku Driver for two. Rowan in, and he drops a knee to Cena's back. He fish hooks Cena and throws him into the mat. Crowd now chants Fruity Pebbles as Rowan knocks over Cena. Cena breaks out and slugs Bray, but runs into a fallaway slam from Rowan. Bray tags in and slugs Cena on the apron. He enters the ring, stopping Cena from tagging and picking him up for a slow dance. Cena calls a spot (not sure which one), and Bray ends the dance with a suplex throw. It gets two. INVERTED LOOK OF DOOM, but the senton misses this time. Cena FLIES across the ring and gets the hot tag to Reigns, who cleans house and floors Harper with a lariat. Avalanche and big right hand, and Ambrose ties up Rowan while Reigns slugs Bray on his way to delivering the Drive-By Dropkick. And Rowan gets it too. Ambrose sends Rowan out of the ring and follows, but Rowan bounces him off the apron. Reigns with the Protoslam, Rowan saves. Rowan with headbutts, but Cena comes in off the top and flattens Rowan with a crossbody and AA try. Rowan throws Cena into Sister Abigail, but Bray celebrates too much and gets Superpunched. Reigns tosses Rowan, and Ambrose dives onto him, leaving Reigns against Harper, and Harper boots Reigns down for two. This Is Awesome. Harper charges RIGHT INTO A SPEAR and that's the pin at 20:22. Believe THIS. **** Cena nods in approval as HHH and Rollins are seen looking on. Cena raises the Shield's hands, and the Shield celebrate with Cena as we go home.


So we had two good matches today and a whole lot of nothing. The biggest issue with this show was that much of it was boring – not even bad. Sure, Bryan vacates the title, but that was a long time coming so no big deal. But so many of the matches were short and did nothing – Rusev over Ryder, Swagger over Santino, the Usos over Fandango/Sandow. A very missable show, if you ask me.


MATCH TIME: 59:24 over nine matches
BEST MATCH: The main event
WORST MATCH: Usos squash
NIGHT MVP: The Shield

FINAL SCORE: Meh, 4/10. But it would've been a 3 before the main event. You get a full point from that, a point from Barrett/Sheamus, and two points for not pissing me off. Congratulations.

Matt's Main Event is tomorrow, Scott does NXT on Thursday, Tommy steps up with SmackDown on Friday. Brian and Logan will be doing retro WWF shows. Scott may review more Clashes. Tommy looks at WCW to remind us that these shows are not as bad as long-time wrestling fans are used to. I owe you a retro rant, and now that I'm feeling better, I just might deliver. Not sure which, though.

Normally I stick around to argue over Raw, but after tonight? I got nothing to say. This was... a show. See you for some Retro.


  1. Glad you're feeling better sir! And glad I can get caught up with 3 hours of Raw in about 15 minutes!

  2. "Dallas says he knows Daniel Bryan is at home watching and is upset.
    But there's one way Daniel can come back: if he Bo-Lieves!"


  3. Don't you think Twister predated Armageddon as the disaster film of the 90s?

  4. Good review, got me all caught up on the things I missed.

  5. While I thought the main event got off to a slow start and turned out pretty good, I guess part of my feelings about this show is having Cena be a part of this main event feud. Yes the crowds get hype for Cena and does the old "let's go cena/cena sucks" chant that the WWE likes to play up, I guess I would've enjoyed anyone else, who probably would've garnered a straight up face cheer and make the dynamic of the match a little different. I know this will NEVER happen, but imagine instead of Cena, that third person in the Shield was Dolph Ziggler, can you imagine the insane face pop he would get? (yeah I know it's comical to even mention Ziggler anywhere near the main event at this point, but spare me the point :) ) I guess I understand the logic with including Cena since he still has "issues" with the Wyatts, but I'm at Cena fatigue when it comes to the main event.

  6. I don't think so. Again my point with that 'Iconic' comment isn't that the movie was 'good', just that was important and brought a lot of actors and various movie tropes to the screen in a way we hadn't seen them before.

    It's essentially a perfect Snapshot of the time it came out in - hit song on TRL, hearthrob actor that became a superstar, a bunch of indie guys who got some real mainstream exposure, and so on.

  7. I'm not arguing Armageddon or Twister as good. But Twister as a disaster film is way more iconic, especially with the flying cow.

    Independence Day is way more iconic than Armageddon, which you didn't have your list. Twister and Independence Day both outgrossed Armageddon too,

    Ben Affleck was already a big star going into Armageddon coming off his Oscar and Good Will Hunting. Liv Tyler never really made it big though on her own.

    Buscemi already got his mainstream exposure with Con Air the year before and had already established himself as a go to character actor with Reservoir Dogs and Fargo.

  8. "WWE
    Network has a 90% approval rating."

    10 people were polled, one of them being BigNasty96.

  9. I'll argue about this another time, but Armageddon made more money than Twister. And an Oscar does not a superstar make.

    The kinds of folks who saw Good Will Hunting aren't often the kinds of Folks who saw Armageddon, and with a lack of omnipresent internet gossip crap, the big giant action movie thing was a far bigger vehicle for his

  10. ARRRRGH THE BARBARIANJune 9, 2014 at 9:51 PM

    Wonder what'll happen when Bray is back in a smarky city, because he wasn't getting much tonight other than the cheap "he said my city!" pop. Think the Cena effect may have struck again. Out of everyone that needs to win the MITB title match, it's gotta be him the most. Although that's probably the "get squashed by Brock at Summerslam" award, so he's not getting it.

  11. Twister made $241 domestically v. Armageddon's $201 domestic.

    ID4 made $100 million more.

    You're forgetting how huge Ben and Matt were in 1998.

    The kind of folks who saw Good Will Hunting? Everyone saw Good Will Hunting! It was the 7th highest grossing film of 1997. The two young guys who took Hollywood by storm was a major story through 1997-1998, they were the boy wonders of Hollywood, especially with their Oscar win and their memorable appearance there.

    Affleck was also in a high profile relationship with Gwyneth Paltrow at the time before Armageddon. He was a big star.

  12. I feel like the biggest problem with Bray now might be that the only real heat the Wyatts were getting was face heat, but they've never been a face faction. I don't hardly remember them being booed, actually. But now that he has lost to Cena and didn't bring about any earth-shattering changes to the product, the smark-ish fans don't give a shit anymore.

    I really don't know how to solve the problem, either.

  13. Fuck you both. Dante's Peak or nothing at all.

  14. Volcano or GTFO

  15. Yea, but Eminem was already a huge name when Marshall Mathers LP came out. This just catapulted him to a whole nother level.

  16. It's like you guys are just being willfully ignorant. Deep Impact is sitting right there. IT PREDICTED BARACK OBAMA.

  17. Hard Rain. Christian Slater v. a flood

  18. I feel like this fact gets beaten into the ground by a lot of people like Jim Ross, but it is so hard to be a heel in today's product. Given the supposed focus on no more cheating in-ring (for whatever reason), it's hard to cultivate many personas that people will not like. Here's what we have right now:

    1. Hoss-type heels (who will always get over with some segment of the audience)
    2. Arrogant heels (who can also still get over, see Ziggler)
    3. Cowardly heels
    4. Authority heels

    Three and four seem to garner the most negativity, but you can't have EVERYONE be that type of heel. And authority heels have to be limited anyway because not everyone can be the boss. But if you get caught in some kind of heel/face limbo, like the first two, it can totally kill your heat so that nobody cares about you. I know there are "no more faces and heels" but that also means it's more likely that people can get caught in that limbo.

    I feel like shades of gray can sell an angle or a wrestler, but when everything is gray people just find it bland or boring and sit on their hands

  19. Aric Johnson, Sami LikerJune 9, 2014 at 10:22 PM

    That "no-cheating" garbage will be over as soon as Vince forgets about it.

  20. It's hard to be a heel because the best TV shows of the past 15 years have involved anti-heroes, and that includes WWE. People cheer Bray Wyatt because he's an interesting, charismatic character with a god complex. People boo John Cena because he's been on television doing the same thing for 9+ years.

    The reason HHH, Stephanie, Orton and Batista are such effective heels is because they were effectively mocking the smart audience's perception of them. We kind of, sort of believe that HHH really believes Daniel Bryan to be a B+ player, so when he verbalizes that on television, it seems real.

  21. Again I ask: Why break up the most attractive-looking male stable in the past decade(or maybe ever), in a way that draws no money?

  22. I think a lot of it is do heels really do anything worth hating anymore? Unless you're a main event heel, do you ever get to do a beatdown of a face? It's almost like you're supposed to boo me because I say I'm a bad guy vs that heel actually doing evil things to faces (or fans). It makes it hard to take any heel seriously in any feud.

  23. This isn't even me smarking (or is it snarking): The Shield can create a female fan following and still be regarded as cool badasses by the other demographics! And they pissed it away because of a 2.64 rating on a holiday! Vince has COMPLETELY lost touch.

  24. Worst_in_the_WorldJune 9, 2014 at 10:37 PM

    In what way can you say an angle that started LAST WEEK "draws no money"? They're making Rollins into a bigtime heel.
    Ambrose and Roman are still a stable, and probably more over now as faces (because they have a real enemy) than they ever were.

    I'm not saying this is a homerun, but it's a fine move in theory. Make a heel, make the babyfaces more over.

  25. Aric Johnson, Sami LikerJune 9, 2014 at 10:37 PM

    Some *might* say that Vince kinda lost his touch over twenty years ago, and just got really lucky by having guys like Austin and The Rock fall into his lap (whom he both completely fucked up upon debut).

  26. Cause the rationale for Rollins turning makes no sense and it may very well be a case of fans not wanting to see Dean and Roman kick Seth's ass and wanting to NOT SEE THIS, period.

  27. Worst_in_the_WorldJune 9, 2014 at 10:45 PM

    The fans cheering Roman & Ambrose's promo and then booing Seth and chanting "you sold out" seemed like they were going along for the ride.

    Were the Shield supposed to stay a trio forever? Feud with 3MB next? Yeah it feels shitty to see The SHield break-up--- but that's what makes the feud actually interesting. People are actually invested in something.

    And again, Roman and Ambrose are still over as fuck babyfaces, and now they've got a fresh new heel to feud with.

  28. This show wasn't much but the main event was really good.

  29. Worst_in_the_WorldJune 9, 2014 at 10:49 PM

    The good:
    - Ambrose's "Imma rip your ear and your nose and your hair off" promo. Dean and Roman legitimately conveyed pure HATRED for Seth, which you don't get to see very much in WWE babyfaces. Nice work.
    - Thought Seth had an excellent promo too. Laid that shit out like the evil mastermind he is. He invented The Shield, he carried them, he accomplished everything he wanted to accomplish with them, and now he's selling out. Works for me.
    - The six man main event. Even midlevel Shield vs Wyatts is still pretty awesome.

    The bad to mediocre:
    - Every other single thing on this show. OK, Sheamus/Wade and Cesaro/RVD were good, but holy shit this show is such a long slog to get through.

  30. Worst_in_the_WorldJune 9, 2014 at 10:51 PM

    OK, so does anyone think Bryan gets the title back again? I'm leaning towards no way, and honestly I'm fine with it.

    The Yes Movement had its day.

  31. There would be better ideas. Granted, there always kinda is, but how does Rollins defecting to a group whos ass hes been kicking and who just lost a key member make any sense? Rollins didn't explicitly state money from the looks of things, which would at least be a semi-decent idea, so hes joining because he was secretly an egomaniac all along, just like Dean and Roman last year?

    But man, if you turn a member of the Shield, you could do so many better things. Like, why not Trips getting revenge on The Shield by booking them in a triple threat, and then one gets jealous over the others success? Or Trips making a deal with Bray Wyatt to get him to brainwash one of the Shield with his creepy backwoods cult stuff? Or throw money at Brock Lesnar to break Seth's/Dean's arm and then the other two members are late on the save, leading to infighting? Why the fuck would you do that? Oh yeah, desperation over a misinterpreted rating and a meh PPV that will get meh numbers.

  32. Since WWE has no idea what their plans are for Bryan when he's healthy, I'm not sure how we're supposed to know either, but I would lean towards "yes" and that they haven't come anywhere close to getting all the mileage out of Bryan. I mean, really?

  33. Hey, Darth Vader lost to the Rebellion and he ended up joining the cause, so there's precedent. I guess.

  34. Worst_in_the_WorldJune 9, 2014 at 10:57 PM

    None of those ideas are inherently better than what happened, and the Bray "brainwashing one of The Shield" is the kind of corny thing that would straight up get laughed out of the arena.

    Up until two months ago Seth Rollins was a heel. A heel who ALREADY teased turning on Ambrose/Reigns because he was sick of their shit. Why is it so illogical that he felt sick of being part of a team and backstabbed them so he can be on the side of the owner of the company? He's a heel doing what a heel does.

  35. Because the owner of the company has had his ass handed to him on a platter with all the fixings for 3 PPVs

  36. "They're figuring out how to make people cheer Cena some more. I think it's time to stop being ironic and to admit: it's okay to cheer the faces."

    Yeah, I'm sick of these ironic fans who cheer for Daniel Bryan and CM Punk.


  37. "attractive-looking male stable"

    I think you're biased.

  38. So are the reddit fangirls that ship all three members.

  39. Andy has a real bugaboo about heels being cheered.

  40. I don't get how breaking up "the most attractive-looking male stable in the past decade" would make them any less attractive. Rollins still put on his makeup tonight.

  41. Because maybe those fans would rather see all three still together. How do female fans react to seeing a boyband split? Not well, obviously. And this might not generate the right kind of heat.

  42. HowmuchdoesthisguyweighJune 9, 2014 at 11:02 PM

    I'm Actually enjoying the Rhodes stuff

  43. Worst_in_the_WorldJune 9, 2014 at 11:03 PM

    Well, I think it'll be an interesting situation when he gets back. I definitely don't think it's a lock any longer that the Yes Movement is still this incredible force that overwhelms the show. In fact, I think there's zero chance it's near that level again.

    Just think, in the last year fans have already seen Bryan win the title at THREE PPVs. Is there really gonna be a groundswell to see that again? And yeah, it wasn't his fault but.... good God this was one of the worst title reigns a babyface has ever had. He wrestled ONCE on Raw, missed more TV than he appeared on, had a mediocre garbage match for his one title defense, and spent most of his rare TV appearances either getting beat up, running away, or cutting nothing promos about how he wasn't giving up the title despite not defending it.

    I just don't see there being a giant clamoring for more of THAT.

    It's Daniel bryan, he'll always be over, but I think if WWE positions Roman Reigns as the next babyface going into chase mode, the fans will happily go along with that. And obviously Vince/HHH will as well.

  44. HowmuchdoesthisguyweighJune 9, 2014 at 11:03 PM

    Shield brought it... It was funny seeing roman trying to match Ambrose's awesomeness on the mic.

  45. So it has been proven that it will draw no money? Or is this the classic "If I don't like it, it is doomed to draw zero money, if I like it, it will make trillions of dollars" type mindset?

  46. No, its the classic, "If this makes no sense, its less likely to draw money than something that makes sense" mindset.

    If you're Seth Rollins, why betray the Shield and join a guy who you've conquered twice that just lost his muscle to Hollywood?

  47. Worst_in_the_WorldJune 9, 2014 at 11:07 PM

    Right, but he's still the owner and Rollins is a heel who wants to do things the easy way. Again, Rollins has been a heel for all but 2 months of his WWE career, AND Rollins already teased walking out on these guys.

    Are you upset that Seth turned heel at all, or that they didn't do it in a very specific way that you would have preferred? Because in the end it's just turning ONE MEMBER of a three person group into a heel.

    Rollins gets spotlight as a bigtime scumbag heel.
    Roman and Ambrose get a real enemy to fight with real stakes, which gets them more over as faces.

    It's not some crazy bullshit move, it's wrestling 101 stuff.

  48. WorstInTheWorld has already explained it. This just reeks of "I didn't see it coming, so I hate it".

  49. How about this idea for a guy: when he makes his entrance, have him point his fingers in the air and yell "yes" a lot.

  50. Wrestling 101 should dictate that characters have clear reasons for doing what they do. Seth did not have a clear reason becaus ehe stated it was "just business" which is code to the fans as "just bullshit" because Trips uses that phrase and in kayfabe hes completely full of shit and everyone knows it.

    I personally have ZERO issue with turning the Shield: so long as you can do so in a way that can make one or more of them better than they would be if they hadn't turned. They have literally started this angle with a logical fallacy. How is this a good sign? Also, do the Shield's fans WANT them to turn? Do the Shield's fans (who hit every demographic from adult males who like their wrestling ability to kids that think they're cool badasses to girls who swoon over them) really want to see Dean and Roman kick Seth's ass?

  51. That idea literally started as Vince telling creative in a memo that Bryan should celebrate every victory as if its the greatest win of his life. That sounds like a good idea for heel heat, no?

  52. Worst_in_the_WorldJune 9, 2014 at 11:24 PM

    Tonight's crowd sounded like they wanted Dean and Roman to kick Seth's ass, yes. Again, Rollins was getting bigtime heel heat. How many heels in WWE get that anymore? He wasn't getting "hahaha it's Damien Sandow" or "yay it's Bray Wyatt" heel heat. He wasn't egtting Randy "boring" Orton heel heat.

    He was getting booed and you sold out chants. See, the fans are already buying his reasoning. HE SOLD OUT! When a guy joins The Authority, do you really need a spoonfeeding of the reasoning? More money, easier matches, coddling from the boss. It's the shit every heel has benefited from from siding with the heel authority figures.

    And you also keep ignoring everything Seth did in fact say in his promo. He invented The Shield, and he got tired of it and decided to destroy it. He thought Ambrose was a maniac and Roman was an angry golden child who can't function without him. He told you what he disliked about them!

    He also almost turned on them right before Mania! There's plenty of pieces that make this a fine, logical heel turn.

    Seth is a heel who made a heel move for money, backing from the owners, and self glory. There's no need to convolute the turn with "Brock breaks someone's arm and the other guys get into the ring too late" or "they're mad after a triple threat."

  53. ARRRRGH THE BARBARIANJune 9, 2014 at 11:31 PM

    The way the roster is right now? Easily. If they build other guys up, maybe not. Yeah, I know, Roman Reigns, but he still has to make the transition to singles guy with a different look and different music and carry his own segments. It hasn't happened yet so you can't assume it'll go gangbusters.

    Bryan didn't get to the top organically in the first place. He got to the top because he HAD to go to the top.

  54. I had no desire tonight to watch Raw. In fact,
    I forgot it was on. It has just gotten to a point where I am watching Raw completely
    bored out of my mind and I cannot come up with a logical reason why. So I am
    not watching anymore. Seriously, Raw used to be no real problem to watch. Even
    if the show was terrible, it usually went by rather quickly. Now, Raw is a two
    hour show stretched out to three hours. The WWE has a talented roster, but they
    are overexposing them and the product in general. Their wrestlers wrestle way too
    much, and, most of the time, they wrestle a pointless exhibition match that is utterly

    To make matters worse, the show has goofy segments
    with their main purpose being to make their boss, who has the weirdest sense of
    humor, laugh. They serve no purpose. All they do is insult their fan base and make
    us feel like idiots for being a WWE fan.

    Their creative staff, also, takes 10 months
    off. Other than the road to Summerslam and Wrestlemania, they barely try. They repeatedly
    do the same angles until they have to come up with something creative to sell a
    big PPV. I mean, seriously, count at how many contract signings we have had
    this year.

    Seriously, Vince McMahon is an elderly man who
    lives in a bubble and thinks he knows what people want. He does not when he does
    not know anymore at all. Not one of his pet-projects has worked in years. He
    thought John Morrison was his next boy toy. He thought Mr. Kennedy was going to
    be his new Rock. He thought Drew McIntyre was the “chosen one”. He thought
    Bobby Lashley was “the next big thing”. He put trust into a meth head called
    Jeff Hardy. He thought CM Punk was too indy. He thought Daniel Bryan was too
    small. He thought Mason Ryan was his next Batista. He thought one of the best
    talkers in a while, Bray Wyatt, should be called Husky Harris. McMahon is so ignorant
    that he does not even realize that the biggest problem with WWE is the man he sees
    in the mirror. You would think that he would open his eyes like he did in the
    late-90s since the Network has been a bust and the stock is close to being at
    its lowest point ever. But nope. Other than HHH doing his best scouting talent
    that actually have talent, the product is still McMahon’s way or the highway.

  55. Convoluted? Thats a story everyone would get! Two friends say they have your back. Big guy breaks your arm. They don't have your back. You're like "WHAT THE FUCK GUYS?".

    And for the second thing, wouldn't anyone be pissed if they were forced to fight two of their colleagues out of spite? Especially if one of them lorded their eventual victory over you in your face?

    And yeah, noticed the comment about Reigns and Ambrose, (and I also noticed the comment about a weak "You sold out" chant made by Andy). So thats a little better. But the point still stands: You beat a guy twice, the guy loses hired muscle, you join the guy? Seth didn't say "I'm getting money." to drive the point home. Seth also isn't the architect of the Shield because hes clearly now a dishonest heel and is completely full of shit because the Authority are dishonest heels and are completely full of shit. So Rollins motivation is all in his head? Or is he honest, in which case he can't possibly be with the Authority?

  56. Who else is worthy of the belt besides Cena and Bryan at this point?

  57. Worst_in_the_WorldJune 9, 2014 at 11:38 PM

    The crowd forcing WWE's hand is the X-factor. It's safe to assume that Vince/HHH want someone other than Bryan as champion. Roman eventually, but in the meantime you know they'd rather put the belt on Cena, Orton, Sheamus, Batista, or a heel surrogate for the Authority (Rollins? Cesaro?). Last year the crowd absolutely would accept nobody other than Bryan as the champ. But after seeing him win the title three different times in one year and have such a pitiful title reign, is the fanbase gonna be motivated to force their hand again?
    I just don't see it.

    MAYBE Bryan wins the belt just to transition it to the heel champion right away. But I even doubt that. I kinda feel like we're getting a decently long Cena reign, followed by whatever heel (Brock? Cesaro? Rollins?) is gonna hold it to drop to Roman at Mania.

  58. Heck, I'd accept this angle if Evolution won the 2nd match. Honest. At least then, you'd have a rationale with Rollins saying "Yeah, clearly my teammates are incompetent and I'm bailing" while Batista bails because he got eliminated or something.

  59. Worst_in_the_WorldJune 9, 2014 at 11:43 PM

    Could see them going Batista after he's done promoting the movie. Maybe Bray or Cesaro this year.

    And eventually Brock's gonna get it, and then Roman at Mania seems like a sure thing.

    In the meantime I'd bet anything that Cena's getting a decent title reign next. Whenever things look a little bleak they call on Cena. Cena wins MITB, holds it for awhile, keeps ratings steady, and drops it at some point to a heel who holds the belt until Mania.

    I just feel like this title reign sours them on Bryan (as THE GUY) and so they go back to cena until the Roman chase begins.

  60. No way is Cesaro worthy of being the champ. His pairing with Heyman has cooled off just about all of his WrestleMania momentum, as completely changing what got you over will do

    Bray doesnt need the belt but a better choice

  61. Now you're grasping at straws.

  62. It wasnt a great turn by any means.

    They shocked the crowd last week and Rollins cut a good promo tonight, but didnt exactly go into specifics as to why he turned.

  63. Worst_in_the_WorldJune 9, 2014 at 11:51 PM

    "(and I also noticed the comment about a weak "You sold out" chant made by Andy)."

    Did you watch Raw or are you just taking a second hand report? Rollins was getting bigtime heel heat, which in the end is the fucking point. And it shows that fans are buying this angle.
    Fans hating Rollins and cheering Roman/Ambrose = good.

    I appreciate that you liked the ideas you came up with and would have rather seen those than what actually happened, but it doesn't mean your ideas are inherently better than what happened.

    They're not gonna bring Brock in to play conduit to The SHield break up angle. And it's a breakup angle in which The Shield look weak as fuck, by the way. Brock breaks a SHield member's arm, and then The SHield breaks up? Sorry man, that's a bad idea.
    And who cares about a triple threat. The Shield are dominant for two years, then HHH books a triple threat match (because what, triple threat matches are so important all of a sudden?) and THAT breaks up The SHield.

    You've proposed two scenarios in which A) The Shield members are passive members in their own story, and B) You're basically telling the fans "Hey next week is the heel turn!"

    In the storyline that happened, Rollins made a CHOICE to turn heel and therefore he is getting heel heat for it. The crowds are buying his motivation because to just about everyone in the audience, his motivation is very clear and very heelish.

  64. Worst_in_the_WorldJune 9, 2014 at 11:54 PM

    What more specifics do we need? The crowd suure seemed to get it. HE SOLD OUT. He sided with the heel owner--- money and favorable booking are to follow.

    And Rollins' promo clearly laid out what he dislikes about the other two Shield guys, and how he (delusionally, sure, but heels are supposed to be delusional) believes he invented the group and felt they accomplished everything he wanted to, and now wants his own singles glory.

    I'm not a Russo SWERVE guy, but this was far from that. And having a little shocking moment in wrestling once in awhile is fine.

  65. This is still the underpants gnome equation, though. Heel turn + ? = profit. He spoke for a long time but didn't say anything. Where is he right now? He's made enemies out of his former best friends, he doesn't have a title shot, he may very well be behind both Orton and HHH in the Authority/Evolution pecking order, and he just left one of the winningest factions out there.... He "bought in" because... he got a free suit?

  66. If you had told me over four years ago that that would be Bryan Danielson's gimmick, I would've said that it's going to be stupid and sucky.

    Ultimately, the angle has piqued a lot of peoples' interest and there are many different directions it can go, which is good. I don't have a great deal of faith in WWE, but you can't blame them for something good.

  67. Worst_in_the_WorldJune 9, 2014 at 11:55 PM

    Female fans? The SHield is a boy band? Seriously dude, who gives a shit.

  68. Because in kayfabe, it's favourable to be on the boss' side. Pure and simple.

    Also by being a part of The Authority, Seth Rollins gets discounted footlongs at Subway.

    Seth Rollins: Eat Fresh

  69. Leave him alone. He's just going through a phase where he gets sexually turned on by watching dudes wrestle each other.

  70. As long as it's Subway. Maybe they can set up a backstage skit with him and Jared, too.

  71. Worst_in_the_WorldJune 10, 2014 at 12:00 AM

    Yup, he's not WWE Champion on night one so its fucked.

    I really don't get this "why would Seth Rollins have joined the Authority?" confusion. I hate the heel authority figure trope as much as anyone, but are we really confused as to (storyline) why heels join the authority? Does it really need to be spoonfed at this point? Again, the crowd was chanting YOU SOLD OUT. They obviously understand his basic motivations.

    Rollins talked for "a long time but didn't say anything" is bullshit. He laid out what he didn't like about Ambrose/Reigns and what he saw as their fatal flaws, he boasted about being the inventor of the group, said they went as far as they could go, and that he now wants his own glory, and that he never saw them as friends. The promo accomplished plenty.

  72. Worst_in_the_WorldJune 10, 2014 at 12:03 AM

    So did you have no desire to watch Raw, forget to watch Raw, watch Raw out of boredom, or do you never watch anymore? I'm confused about your status as a Raw viewer.

  73. You're digging your heels in and have been projecting on what you think the angle should be instead of looking at what the angle is.

    It was a last minute booking decision and it shows.

    What did he sell out for? No immediate benefits have been seen yet. Once again, strictly kayfabe--he's lower on the totem pole for the team that just lost. And if you're going to turn heel on the hottest team, you better get your ass a title shot for it.

    None of this is to say that Rollins didn't perform well or will not continue to kick ass. He's a future main eventer, pure and simple. But the last two weeks have been pretty mediocre material to work with.

  74. "Brock breaks a SHield member's arm, and then The SHield breaks up?"

    Many ways to go from there, like Reigns getting his starmaking victory over Lesnar then a recovered Rollins jumps him afterwards to kick off a hot feud, or Rollins joining the Authority because they'll offer to pay for his rehab and won't fire him for getting injured and not living up to his contract, so long as he uses his cast as a ringside interference equalizer against his two friends.

    "The Shield are dominant for two years, then HHH books a triple threat match (because what, triple threat matches are so important all of a sudden?) and THAT breaks up The SHield."

    Trips deduces that the only way to break the Shield is to let them break themselves. Triple threat incoming, winner gets a title shot at MitB, Reigns pins Ambrose/Rollins, who don't take to being pinned too kindly and cost Reigns at MitB.

    And of course at least one or two members of the Shield have to look weak, cause its a turn storyline, so thats not a problem. In this IRL storyline, either Ambrose or Rollins will eat it, most likely Rollins. No doubt the storyline could proceed as planned and make Reigns into a star, but why have any screwups in a storyline with Roman Reigns, future ace of the company? The WWE were doing a tremendous job with the Shield from RR onwards, so why are they screwing this up over a short term ratings drop on a fucking holiday?

    And yes, its a secondhand report I'm judging, but I tend to find Andy is generally reliable and calls it like he sees it, hence why I bother reading his reviews.

  75. "It has just gotten to a point where I am watching Raw completely bored out of my mind and I cannot come up with a logical reason why. So, I am not watching anymore."

    I didn't watch this week and I'm not gonna watch anymore. I mean think of it from a realistic point of view. Would you spend 3 boring hours with a girl to get a 10 minute blow job? Or, would you enjoy any other TV that was 3 hours and dubious at best? It's just honestly stupid how much bullshit we put up just to get a minuscule amount of satisfaction.

  76. Worst_in_the_WorldJune 10, 2014 at 12:14 AM

    "It was a last minute booking decision and it shows." How does it show. I'm the one digging my heels in? You're in the "I hate this move so therefore it's a failure even though it happened LAST WEEK" camp. In what way is anything even slightly going wrong with this angle yet?
    Let's review:
    - Angle happened last Monday.
    - This Monday the faces cut an awesome angry "we want revenge promo", and the heel cuts an awesome "I'm the mastermind and I'm on my way to the top" promo while the crowd boos and chants "You sold out" at him.
    So an angle happened, the faces have a reason for revenge, and the heel is getting heel heat. Where is this gone wrong already?

    And what immediate benefits did you want Rollins to get ALREADY? Again, the angle happened last Monday. He already has HHH basically managing him on Friday and speaking his praises, which is a big deal in WWE-land. Who is he lower than on the Authority totem pole? HHH is basically a manager until probably Summerslam, Batista is gone, and Orton won't sniff the heat that Rollins is getting. Rollins went from being a member of The Shield to a top heel.

    I just don't understand what you were expecting already.

  77. The shock was good but the follow up tonight did nothing to make it seem like it was anything more than just a shock

    It's far from a disaster but at the same time, it really isn't all that special.

  78. Worst_in_the_WorldJune 10, 2014 at 12:16 AM

    You could DVR-FF straight to the "blowjobs".

  79. Worst_in_the_WorldJune 10, 2014 at 12:18 AM

    It's a feud with an over new heel and over faces who want revenge.

  80. I used to DVD-FF Raw in the midst of football season, but I usually ended up deleted it due to having no interest of watching it after reading about it.

  81. Worst_in_the_WorldJune 10, 2014 at 12:21 AM

    "And yes, its a secondhand report I'm judging, but I tend to find Andy is generally reliable and calls it like he sees it, hence why I bother reading his reviews." If you're gonna go on and on arguing an angle, you should probably watch the segment for yourself and see what reaction it got.

    And again, you're basically arguing that "the angles I came up with are great and they should have done those, therefore this one is bad." In my opinion, the angles you came up with are way way way worse than what we ended up getting.

  82. Sigh. We're just going around in circles. You're asking questions that I already answered or don't make sense to what I've said. I never said the angle was a failure or Rollins would be a failure. My issue that there was a distinct lack of logic with the turn, and I've already detailed why I believe that--because Rollins' motivations are retconned or unconvincing. The only other issue I have is that it was a very hot act that didn't need to be broken up, but I understand both sides of the debate to that.

  83. Aric Johnson, Sami LikerJune 10, 2014 at 12:24 AM

    I picked CFL preseason over this edition of RAW... and I stand by my choice.

  84. The thing I miss most about Scott's rants is getting accurate star-ratings for the matches.

  85. Aric Johnson, Sami LikerJune 10, 2014 at 12:27 AM

    Pffftttt, nerd.

  86. Worst_in_the_WorldJune 10, 2014 at 12:27 AM

    I think I asked questions that pretty directly related to things you brought up. You had a problem with Seth Rollins not having (kayfabe) gotten any benefits yet, in his first Raw as an authority heel. To me that's total jumping the gun, this-angle-already-sucks stuff.

  87. Hate to burst your bubble, but star ratings are completely subjective. There's no such thing as an accurate star-rating.

  88. Aric Johnson, Sami LikerJune 10, 2014 at 12:30 AM

    Pfffttt, nerd.

  89. Aric Johnson, Sami LikerJune 10, 2014 at 12:44 AM

    Pffftttt, nerd.

  90. MVP of the night - Damien Sandow!

    When you can pop the crowd and make the shittiest gimmick in the business work due solely to your own skill you know you've got a special talent on your hands.

    The main event was alright but i couldn't help notice all the spot calling, i've never seen that many spots called on camera in one single match in my life! To be fair you couldn't hear them call them but you sure could see it, it was like a damn ventriloquist convention out there.

    Otherwise solid show, especially after watching the final 2 hours on DVR after i skipped out to watch the Sony E3 press conference.

  91. The crowd pulled me out of the main a couple times, which is a mean feat because I was loving it.

    I never get over how you can have six top dudes in the company in the same ring and the ENTIRE CROWD is on Cena's nuts, one way or the other.

    I'm a Cena fan, but I also dig The Shield and The Wyatts and it was kind of to hear the dueling Cena chants during long segments of the match where Cena was not involved.

    We say it a lot but the level of investment (good or bad) the crowd has in him is nuts.

  92. "He sided with the heel owner" The heel owner who's ASS they've constantly handed to them for the last two consecutive pay per views in a row. Turning on The Shield is one thing. But siding with the guys that were schooled by them in EVERY major match? Thats a HUGE LOGICAL FALLACY. He can turn on the shield. But buying into Seth aligning himself with Triple H is BS.

  93. Yeah, I wasn't a fan of the show either. I know it's out of their control, but the Daniel Bryan saga has really sucked the life out of the show, especially since we got so many time-killing weeks of nothing leading up to them just stealing the belts from the poor guy again. There had to be a better way to deal with it than just having the Authority rip him off again and give preferred treatment to Orton again and blah blah blah. I don't particularly find the ladder match for the belts intriguing because there's so clearly no one aside from Cena or Bryan that can carry those belts right now and that means either we get a paper champion for two months, or Cena Wins Again LOL. Neither is a thrilling prospect for anyone. I know people are like "OMG they can elevate Reigns or Bray or Rollins or Cesaro!" but I think you're having trouble thinking like people who are freaking out about house show revenues if you're going down that path.

    They really, really, REALLY need to swallow some pride and just drive a dump truck full of money into Chicago with a big bow on it for CM Punk and be done with it.

  94. Hell the Austin turn at WM XVII at least had SOME degree of logic with him joining Vince. Him siding with HHH had NO LOGIC.

  95. Maybe Punk'll work part time as a big money attraction. Wouldn't that be ironic (don'tcha think?)

  96. This show was a candidate for one of the worst RAW shows of the year, if not EVER.

    Also, Goldust and Adam Rose will be a thing next week. They're desperate to put Rose over and end the silly "gotta-find-a-partner-for-Goldust" shit, they'll do anything right about now.

  97. Aric Johnson, Sami LikerJune 10, 2014 at 1:48 AM


    It's what the motherfucker should DO.

    Shit ain't ironic.

  98. I think it would be ironic considering what he's said in the past/how much the Batista thing actually played into his walk out. "If you can't beat 'em..."

  99. Aric Johnson, Sami LikerJune 10, 2014 at 2:05 AM

    "... make money off their marks!"

  100. Aric Johnson, Sami LikerJune 10, 2014 at 2:09 AM

    Goldrose sounds like money waiting to be printed, dawg.

    Seriously. Goldrose.

  101. Aric Johnson, Sami LikerJune 10, 2014 at 2:10 AM

    Goldrose. He's so hot right now. Goldrose.

  102. Aric Johnson, Sami LikerJune 10, 2014 at 2:17 AM

    ".. beat off with 'em!"

  103. Aric Johnson, Sami LikerJune 10, 2014 at 2:18 AM

    "... watch hockey instead!"

  104. Aric Johnson, Sami LikerJune 10, 2014 at 2:18 AM

    "... wait until Kevin Nash gets involved!"

  105. Aric Johnson, Sami LikerJune 10, 2014 at 2:19 AM

    "tell me a lie! tell me aaaaa lie!"

  106. Aric Johnson, Sami LikerJune 10, 2014 at 2:19 AM

    "outbook 'em!"

  107. Aric Johnson, Sami LikerJune 10, 2014 at 2:20 AM

    "... I'm skinny-fat anyway..."

  108. Aric Johnson, Sami LikerJune 10, 2014 at 2:20 AM

    "... out politick-'em!"

  109. Aric Johnson, Sami LikerJune 10, 2014 at 2:21 AM

    "... out-work 'em!"

  110. Aric Johnson, Sami LikerJune 10, 2014 at 2:21 AM

    "... welll, then, uh, it's CLOBBERIN' TIME!"

  111. Aric Johnson, Sami LikerJune 10, 2014 at 2:22 AM

    "... then out CUB 'em..."

  112. Aric Johnson, Sami LikerJune 10, 2014 at 2:22 AM

    ".... then clearly, uhhh, it's time to, uhhh, move on..."

  113. Their most realistic and probably best option is for Rollins to be unceremoniously inserted into the ladder match by The Authority and to win it cheaply, thereby allowing The Shield to be elevated to main event status by chasing the CHAMPION.

  114. Aric Johnson, Sami LikerJune 10, 2014 at 2:23 AM

    ".... then STRAIGHT EDGE'em!"

  115. "If you can't beat 'em... beat 'em OFF!"

  116. There's an ice cream bar joke in there, but...

  117. Aric Johnson, Sami LikerJune 10, 2014 at 2:26 AM

    DAMNIT why diddn't I think of the ICE CREAM BARS

  118. "This show was a candidate for one of the worst RAW shows of the year, if not EVER."

    I know the show is mediocre, but come on, people have been saying the same thing since 2002.

  119. I don't always go to bars

    But when I do, there's ice cream on them

  120. Aric Johnson, Sami LikerJune 10, 2014 at 2:28 AM

    You win.

  121. I've got a couple of ideas brewin', folks...

    First, Raw needs a new GM. Get a morbidly obese guy, and call him Jack Tonne-y. MONEY, people.

    Secondly, Sami Zayn, in interviews, should say "my next match is going to be ZANY". The female interviewer will then question, "why does it have to be zany?" and then Sami backhands her really hard and is all like "BITCH SHUT YOUR HO ASS MOUTH SHUT YOU PIECE O' SHIT, I'S BE ALL TRYIN' TO CUT A PROMO 'N SHIT BITCH".

    And then he goes out there and wins his match and smiles like nothing happened.

  122. It wasn't one of the WORST episodes. It wasn't actively bad -- no Magneto segments or terrible matches -- it was just mostly boring and very fast-forward-able.
    The way they laid out the script also cost them some good opportunities to build drama. Instead of having The Shield hit the ring to deal with 3MB, then giving us a peek of Rollins in a suit backstage, then having Shield's interruption of Rollins be the second time we saw them that night ... I would've had Rollins' interview earlier in the show (his entrance being the 1st time we see him in a suit), then do the whole Shield music/entrance to interrupt him (that being the 1st time we see them). Have Rollins escape, THEN Ambrose and Reigns do their killer promo.

  123. dude, just let it go!

  124. I think this segment proved what's so great about The Shield. if Reigns would try to "match" his partners promo by going in the same direction, he would very likely fail. but because he is portraying a different type of character (and I think he OWNS the "cool guy" persona by now) it works perfectly (well, at least for me it does).

  125. My guess is HHH pits Reigns against Ambrose in a MITB qualifier next week -- his latest attempt to finish The Shield -- which Reigns wins, but it doesn't accomplish HHH's goal because they hug it out afterwards. Rollins gets inserted into MITB because he's HHH's guy, and the final spot goes to Cena after he beats Kane in a qualifier.
    The rest of the MITB card could be Usos vs. Harper/Rowan, Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt, IC title match, Divas title match, Rusev squash, The Match In Which Cody Turns on Goldust, and something like Kane vs. Ziggler because The Authority is evil. Maybe throw in a Bo Dallas segment.
    Rollins winning the belt wouldn't be a bad idea. He could hold it until Bryan comes back and beats him for it, then WWE goes on with Brock-Bryan as planned.

  126. I have said this people, some here are the reverse Tony Schivaones. EVERY RAW IS THE WORST RAW EVER, BABY! (Forget the 4 star match, 3.5 star match, huge interview, huge world title announcement and several young wrestlers winning easy matches while getting built up. Nope! Worst raw ever!!)

  127. I didn't watch Raw, as I wasn't in the mood for Rasslin' tonight. What I read seemed perfectly fine though. But yep, Frasier, season 9!! Glad that Niles is finally TAPPIN' DAT-A$$!!

  128. It is indeed a refreshing twist. Usually when we get the "I'm not good enough to be your partner" thing, they just split up amicably, or start feuding. This is the first time i've seen the guy actually try new partners, as per his former partner's request.

  129. No it isn't. Triple H is the boss and Rollins is seemingly tired of busting his ass and diving off things just to win matches.

    Its simple stuff really.

  130. Because its easier work for more money which heels eat up.

  131. 1. Its kayfabe more money

    2. He's not diving off shit to win matches

    3. Its the easy way out

    Heel logic 101.

  132. Yeah, with the people he's picking you'd think he's intentionally sabotaging his brother though.

  133. How do you literally forget Raw is on? Raw and Monday nights are essentially synonymous. Its in the name of the show for fuck's sake.

  134. Perhaps. At least it's something different, so I approve. Would be cool if it was a debuting NXT guy next week, as Cody said it's someone he's never seen before.

  135. Glad to see someone else was bored.. I fell asleep right after the Cena run-in..


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