The SmarK Rant for Monday Night RAW – 08.01.94
Live from Youngstown, OH, on a college campus that at least looks respectable on TV.
Your hosts are Vince “NOT GUILTY BY A JURY OF HIS PEERS” McMahon & Randy Savage. Randy even makes that point before the intros are even done. Hopefully this will wake Vince the fuck up and improve the quality of these shows for a while.
Shawn Michaels v. Razor Ramon
Shawn attacks and does some showboating, which results in Ramon kicking his ass and tossing him out of the ring. Shawn runs around the sides of the ring and can’t find a way past Razor’s punches, but a precision eyepoke does the trick. Back in, Shawn with a neckbreaker to take over, but Ramon catches him with a blockbuster slam for two. Shawn with another cheapshot to take over and Diesel adds some choking on the ropes, but Razor gets a backslide for two. Shawn clotheslines him back down and goes to the chinlock, but Ramon tosses him and we take a break. Back with Razor’s abdominal stretch, but Shawn pokes the eyes. Ramon comes back with a BAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK body drop as Vince takes shots at the Goodwill Games, which is funny because WCW was about to score one of the biggest cable ratings in wrestling history with the Hogan-Flair Clash match. Sour grapes are sour, Vince. Ramon goes to a fairly lengthy bearhug and Shawn escapes with a sunset flip for two, reversed by Razor for two, and Shawn dumps him. Diesel adds a clothesline and we take ANOTHER break. Back with Shawn dropping an elbow on the apron and hitting a back elbow in the ring for two. Shawn with a sleeper and they collide for the double KO, but Razor is up first and makes the comeback. Clothesline out of the corner gets two. Shawn gets a moonsault press and Razor rolls through for two. Superkick gets two for Shawn. Shawn tries a Razor’s Edge and gets backdropped, but Razor goes after Diesel and Shawn grabs the IC title. The ref gets rid of it, but Shawn whips Razor into Diesel’s big boot and gets the pin at 26:00. So, uh, yeah, this was pretty damn awesome. ****1/4 Shawn and Diesel do the beatdown and poor Razor needs a bunch of referees to save him. Really, even 1-2-3 Kid wouldn’t make the save?
Summerslam Report with Todd, who is DISGUSTED by the teamwork and camaraderie shown by Shawn and Diesel. When one comes down for a match, the other might as well come too, because they’re there at the end anyway! Uh, they generally do, brain surgeon. Diesel is Shawn’s bodyguard and hetero life partner, after all.
Alundra Blayze v. Bull Nakano
Bull gets the same generic Japanese theme all the other Japanesians get in the WWF. While I’m thinking about it, what’s an “Alundra”, anyway? I know original rumors were that her name would be “Alexandra Blaze” but I just don’t know how they got to “Alundra”. Bull tosses her by the hair, but Blayze comes back with a rana and a spinkick. Bull gives her some stiff forearms on the ropes and slams her head down on the mat for two. Bull kills her with a piledriver for two, but picks her up and hits a powerbomb for two. Blazye escapes another one and gets a sunset flip for two, but she whiffs on a missile dropkick, and not in the elegant way. Bull goes up and misses a butt splash, and the german suplex gets two for Blayze. Rollup gets two. Blayze goes up and gets hairtossed off, but she dumps Bull and follows with a dive. In 1994! Bull sends her into the post and they brawl on the floor for the double countout at 5:26. Lame finish, crazy good match. *** They were hitting each other HARD. Poor Madusa barely ever got a chance to show what she could do during this tenure, so it was always fun to watch her cut loose.
The King’s Court, with Bob Backlund. But first, a weird proposal from a guy to his girlfriend, conducted by Lawler while he insults both people, and then we take a break before coming back for her acceptance, and Lawler insults her again and tries to kiss her. What the hell was the point of that? Anyway, Backlund (fresh off losing to Bret) gives his first CRAZY BOB BACKLUND interview, chiding the youth of today and ranting to the camera while Vince just kind of talks over him and moves onto the next segment.
The Smoking Gunns v. George Anderson & Tom Bennet
Vince is worried about running out of time, but the Gunns finish with the Sidewinder right at the end of the show.
Next week: Bam Bam Bigelow & IRS v. Tatanka & Doink! Gonna be hard to top this week’s workrate.
For what it's worth, I found this on Reddit. Basically, this guy updates daily on the additions to the Network. You know.....for those of us that are lazy.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.reddit.com/r/wwenetwork/comments/273k0g/wwe_network_updates_06022014/
Ahh my dad's least favorite wrestler Mr. Backlund. He used to get so angry when he'd see Backlund on the screen and prattle on about remembering him as a really nice guy and how he was a real athlete and what not. He grew up watching wrestling during the late 70's so he never got over Backlund going nuts. I will gladly watch these Raws again and remember the one rare time of my childhood fandom that my dad would actually watch with us, even if it was to gripe his old man gripes at another old man griping his old man gripes.
ReplyDeleteIt must have pissed Savage off to see Jerry Fucking Lawler getting pushed while gets forced into retirement.
ReplyDeleteSure as shit pissed ME off.
ReplyDeleteThis is random but I was watchin souled out 98 the other day and say kevin nash do a plancha over the top rope. Had to tell somebody. Of course he made up for the hard work by dropping big show on his head so it all worked out
ReplyDeleteToo bad Backlund didn't give Lawler shit about trashcans.
ReplyDeleteI remember that proposal, and Lawler's quip, "The last time I saw a nose like that it had an elephant attached to it!" I remember hearing once that the girl had no idea he was going to say that and wasn't too happy about it, so clearly the guy was the wrestling fan in that relationship.
ReplyDeleteScott's right.
ReplyDeleteWhat the fuck is "Alundra"?
And I thought *I* was a nerd!
ReplyDeleteAlso, SAMI
Once again Lawler is the MVP of the show. I think he's been on every show so far. He and Backlund would have been something as a tag team.
ReplyDeleteAnd what's wrong with just calling her Madusa?
I love the awkward look on Vince's face as Savage goes into detail on how he pinned the United States Justice Department 1, 2, 3. He looks seriously uncomfortable and gives Randy a look as if to say, "Seriously?"
ReplyDeleteLicensing...Vince wanted to own names...maybe he also though Madusa, the name, didn't fit with Alundra Blayze's body...you know, after the nose job and boob job he helped pay for...
ReplyDeleteRazor/Shawn was always one of those hidden gems that I hoped Scott would always review and looks like I got my wish.
ReplyDeleteAlso surprised announcers basically treated this is just another match and not Shawn's comeback match. They could have done an angle where Tunney forces Shawn back into the ring again to set this match up.
Isn't that the name of one of Steph and Hunter's demon spawn?
ReplyDeleteNash did a plancha at in your house 2, which I watched last week. He made up for that by having a shitty match.
ReplyDeleteHe was working with Doink and Duke Drose. You may be overestimating Savage's resentment a bit.
ReplyDeleteYou're thinking of Aurora.
ReplyDeleteAs a 12 year old, I thought Alundra Blayze was so soooooo hot.
ReplyDeleteHe just watched him main event a PPV while he had to deal fucking Art Donovan.
ReplyDeleteHere's a better link to the Reddit guy who updates the additions to the Network, as mentioned below:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.reddit.com/r/wwenetwork
fucking Art Donovan sounds like a pain in the ass
ReplyDeleteI think I used to drive a Toyota Alundra in college.
ReplyDeleteAs an 11 year old, I thought she looked like a librarian.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if he was "on" anything or what, but watching Shawn in late 94 is something else. Just a year prior, he's a pudgy guy underachieving in a match against Perfect. By this match, however, he had shed most of the baby fat and was flying around the ring like he would for years. It's basically the beginning of his prime.
ReplyDelete"Japanesians"?
ReplyDeleteWell, in '93 he was mostly on beer. Bloated up like a toad.
ReplyDeleteLook, it's a very technical term, I don't expect you to understand.
ReplyDelete"Art, please stop asking how much I weigh. It's a real turn-off"
ReplyDeleteI remember asking this a ways back on here, but never really getting a clear answer, so maybe someone knows something I don't...why exactly did Shawn not wrestle between WM10 and this match? Was there a contract dispute? Was he injured?
ReplyDeleteReason 786 why Savage and Vjnce never mended fences. I'm thankful Warrior got to. He'll still be judged for damnation if he didn't accept Christ before his death - but in spite of that - I'm glad he got a chance to say his say in front of his peers.
ReplyDeleteThe internet rumor at the time was that Shawn was leaving after Wrestlemania 10 for WCW, after being pissed off over the drug test. But nobody's ever mentioned it in a shoot interview or anything. Nash was asked while Shawn didn't wrestle often during this time and he just said Shawn liked to take the summer off.
ReplyDeleteBecause he's black??
ReplyDeleteSeeing Shawn during this time now - and knowing the demons he accepted in his life to do the sin he was doing - saddens me. He is far from perfect - none of us are - but seeing him cleaner nowadays is more of a blessing than him mugging for the camera when he hosted raw in 1995
ReplyDeleteThe strange thing was how he was still on TV almost every week, just in a non-wrestling capacity. If he were possibly leaving, you'd think he'd just disappear off TV for that time period.
ReplyDeleteIt's weird how on these '94 shows, they do the biggest match at the top of the card and then close the show with C-listers. Talk about trying to maintain your audience!
ReplyDeleteProbably. Since the Canada/Congo wars in 1796 blacks and Canadians don't get along.
ReplyDeleteI would upvote this a million times if I could.
ReplyDelete"Vince, do we have a program for Madusa?"
ReplyDelete"Who?"
"Madusa. The one we got from WCW."
"HER NAME'S ALUNDRA BLAYZE, DAMMIT!"
I liked hbk better when he was on drugs.
ReplyDeleteAs a 10 year old, I had more of a thing for the cartoon version of April O'Neil.
ReplyDeleteReplace Alundra with Bull for me. Then and now
ReplyDeleteSame with Razor/Diesel from Superstars and Shawn/Diesel vs. Razor/Kid from Action Zone.
ReplyDeleteShit, a dvd of Kliq matches with one another would be very solid
That would be incredible. I'm surprised that hasn't been done given who's currently in charge.
ReplyDeleteYeah, we've discussed it before, and we never came up with a solid explanation as to why. I've always said, though, that I liked the change.
ReplyDeleteI asked a while back, and someone said Shawn just realized Diesel was getting the monster push no matter what, so he was content to hang in the background for a while. Plus, he did get a WM main event, and eventually a monster babyface push of his own.
ReplyDeleteAs a kid, I was so confused by the Backlund character. I mean, I found him entertaining enough, but I wasn't sure where they were going with him long term. The New Generation? Indeed.
ReplyDeleteIt's funnier now because Bret, who was his opponent in the match that started the Mr. Backlund character, ended up with the exact same character rebirth a few years later, as the smiling babyface stuck in the past and struggling to accept that the fans have moved on. He then begins to lash out verbally and physically, and ends up with another brief transitional title reign, albiet longer than three days.
ReplyDeleteYeah, that is a pretty cool bit of symmetry. As much as I didn't really care for Backlund, Bret's 1997 run is one my favorite ever.
ReplyDeleteI think they were just trying something different, attempting to give the show its own identity.
ReplyDeleteHe was cultivating mass dammit!
ReplyDelete