The SmarK Rant for Monday Night RAW – 09.12.94
So welcome to a very strange time in my life, as back in 1994 we got one of those C-Band satellite dish monstrosities for our backyard, added a grey market subscription to a US channel package, and VOILA, I suddenly could watch Monday Night RAW live on the USA Network, two years ahead of it debuting in Canada for the first time. I used to sit and watch “wild feeds”, like when newscasters are standing around in the field bullshitting with the cameraman, for hours. Not only that, but there was wrestling EVERYWHERE. Suddenly I could get ECW, SMW, WCW, that shitty Sportatorium crap with JBL and Ahmed Johnson, and assorted Mexican wrestling. That thing was AWESOME. But mostly I was pumped to get RAW. And what a show to debut with!
Note: I was being sarcastic in that last sentence there.
Live from Lowell, MA
Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Randy Savage.
Undertaker v. Kwang
So after Summerslam, this is now the definitive Undertaker and Brian Lee shall not be spoken of for a long while. The arena is VERY brightly lit as compared to the last set of tapings, so apparently they were able to fill it a bit better. It looks a million times better. Kwang puts Taker on the floor with a pair of sidekicks and slugs away on the apron, but Taker calmly beats on him back in the ring and does the ropewalk. We take a break with Taker getting sent to the floor, and return with a pissed off Taker chokeslamming him for the pin at 8:21. Vince once again notes that we will never, EVER, see Underfaker again. EVER. *
Jim Neidhart v. Tim McNeeny
Anvil was moving onto a house show run against Bret Hart, so at least featuring him in a squash here made sense. He tosses the guy out of the ring and pounds away back in the ring. He keeps whipping McNeeny around, showing nothing, and finishes with a camel clutch at 3:00.
The King’s Court with Doink and Dink, as Doink brings a trash can as a present, thus both hyping next week’s Lawler v. Dumpster match as well as kicking off the EPIC King v. Clown feud that provided midgets the world over with employment and a PPV payout. See, who says 1994 was directionless and terrible?
Diesel & Shawn Michaels v. Tony Devito & Paul Vandel
Shawn goads poor Devito into chasing him around the ring, and then hits him with a forearm from the apron to the floor in a slick spot. Diesel is getting pretty impressive babyface pops here after Summerslam, which probably hastened them pulling the trigger on him. Shawn & Diesel are of course now the tag team champions, having won them the night before Summerslam, but the belts are absent, which leads me to suspect this show wasn’t as live as advertised. Devito takes a beating from both champs, and Vandel gets suplexed by Shawn and sideslammed by Diesel. Big boot and Shawn dives off of Diesel’s shoulders with a big splash for the pin at 4:23. Shawn was snorting the GOOD shit at this point and obviously having fun with his big buddy.
Adam Bomb v. Dwayne Gill
Mr. Bomb is now sporting babyface blue and yellow tights, which could be why this babyface act didn’t get over. I’d say that they should team him up with Crush so they could wear matching ugly tights, but some years later they did. And it was terrible. The previous video package reveals that the feud we didn’t know we wanted but would be forced to sit through at house shows anyway is Adam Bomb v. Bam Bam Bigelow. It’s like they drew names out of a hat and if it sounded atrocious enough, they went with it. Bomb with a standing dropkick and sideslam, and the Meltdown finishes at 3:25.
The Bushwackers v. Barry Hardy & Burt Centino
Seriously, they put the Bushwackers out there after one of their stupid “New Generation” spots? They chase Hardy around the ring and Luke stomps on Centino, then we get a midget comedy spot with the jobbers getting dogpiled while Butch counts the pin. The battering ram finishes for real at 4:00. I can understand keeping them around for house show opening matches as something for the kids, but why waste TV time on them?
Next week: Duke The Dumpster v. Jerry the King!
Maybe somebody can correct me, but I thought the Raw after Summerslam featured Razor v newly heel Tatanka?
ReplyDeleteAnd they probably ran it on houseshows, but don't think the Bomb/Bammer feud ever went any further on tv.
WHO'S FIRST?!
ReplyDeleteWhat was up with the odd taping cycle for Raw at this time?
ReplyDeleteAug. 1: Live show plus Aug. 8 Raw and Aug. 21 Sunday Night Slam (re-packaged as Aug. 22 Raw)
Aug. 15: Live show plus the Sept. 12 and Sept. 19 Raw (so Undertaker's match with Kwang happened before his actual return at SummerSlam)
Maybe it happens later?
ReplyDeleteThey weren't doing monthly ppvs so they hadn't figure out the taping schedule yet.... I mean it took them a year to figure out they should do a live show after every pay per view.
ReplyDeleteIt does.
ReplyDeleteThey were on opposite ends of survivor series teams, so that's something.
ReplyDeleteJesus, no wonder the crowd was so shitty and burned out for these shows.
ReplyDeleteCan confirm the Bret vs Anvil thing. Them for the title was featured at the first show I ever attended.
ReplyDeleteBam Bam vs Bomb sounds like an awesome match up.
ReplyDeletePaid for by the BoD Adam Bomb was underrated committee.
ReplyDeleteSeems like it could have been a decent midcard feud. The only issue being that Bam Bam seemed unmotivated around this time, not that I blame him.
ReplyDeleteWatch with the spoilers!
ReplyDeleteHe would be a lot more unmotivated this time next year.
ReplyDeleteBomb left the WWF right after I started watching, so can anyone explain what the gimmick was supposed to be? Or was it just a goofy name?
ReplyDeleteTJ: anyone download the new GTAV update? Not as good as the other ones. A Scion iQ? Fuck off with that shit. Though I like that they're releasing so many of them, the last one (which had a bunch of cool cars and guns) only came out a couple weeks ago.
ReplyDeleteI think he was just supposed to be a riff on that Superman villain initially. But once he turned babyface, it kinda just clicked. Cool power moves, cool gimmick names for them, cool gear, called his fans the bomb squad. And of course, Adam Bomb was a great name.
ReplyDeleteHe was supposed to be a living nuclear bomb? Or some mutant fallout warrior? Something along those lines.
ReplyDeleteHe was supposed to be a survivor from exposure to nuclear radiation from 3 Mile Island in NY, his kayfabe hometown.
ReplyDeleteOK, that makes sense. Well, it doesn't, because no radiation was released at 3 Mile Island (which I'm pretty sure is in Jersey), but good enough for wrestling logic.
ReplyDeleteBetter that Wrath. Or was that Crush?
ReplyDeleteThere usually wasn't a "Raw after SummerSlam" in the pre-TNN days, due to the US Open. Also SummerSlam was often on a Monday night until the mid-'90s.
ReplyDeleteSS94 was the last one held on a Monday, I think. I KNOW 95 was on a Sunday, because I ordered it. Man, that show SUCKED.
ReplyDeleteDid Bret and Neidhart ever have a televised singles match?
ReplyDeleteThis is the only match between the 2 I can find on YouTube, and it clearly wasn't televised: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0783qtUSu_o .According to the description this is the only match ever between the two, though I'm not trying to verify if that's true or not at 3:30 in the morning.
ReplyDeleteNo it didn't. I'll grant you a lot of the card didn't deliver but it had Shawn vs. Razor in the ladder match that was better than Mania X, plus 123 Kid vs. Hakushi and the really fun Skip vs. Barry Horowitz match.
ReplyDeleteMuch obliged!
ReplyDeleteI will maintain on my deathbed that the WMX one was better. Any time I watch it I think "I've seen this done before, but better", plus Shawn fucked up the finish twice. It's not BAD by any means, probably the 1995 MOTY and in any other context it would be enough to save the show, but not here, especially when there was no angle between the two and no real buildup at all. "Hey, Shawn/Sid is going to suck, so how about Shawn/Razor II?" That was the entire reason for that match, both off-screen and on.
ReplyDeleteKid/Shinzaki is one of those underrated classics, I'll grant that point. Candido/Horowitz was decent I'm sure, but I don't even remember it because that angle was stupid. A guy beat someone half his size with a fluke roll-up, big deal... And the rest of the card was dogshit.
Let me know if it's any good. I usually don't bother with fan-cam crap, but it's a good enough match I'll deal with it. I'd imagine those two would work well enough together. And I'm sure the selling will be good, even if it was to shitty hosses...
ReplyDelete"Sell my shit or I'll tell my sister/your wife about all those rats you've been banging."
He certainly would. By this time next year he'll have been dead for 8 and a half years.
ReplyDeleteBryan Clarke was Wrath and Adam Bomb.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I always found the way Niedhart always grabbed his goatee to kind of psych himself up, I think it was one of his taunts in Revenge. As a kid that always made me want to grow a badass goatee so I could do that too, but sadly it was not to be, I can't grow facial hair for shit. Saves me money though, I can get by with a electric razor that needs 2 AA batteries like once a year.
ReplyDeleteYou know what I meant. But I'll fix it.
ReplyDeleteThat makes sense. I can easily see Vince watching Superman IV in 1993 and yelling for someone to make Nuclear Man his new Executive Vice President.
ReplyDeleteEh, no need to fix!
ReplyDeleteI always get them mixed up. I mean, they're both the same size with long black hair, they both died, they both did a pothead gimmick, and they have the same fucking first name. It's an easy mistake to make.
ReplyDeleteAlready done. The wiring between my brain and fingers (and mouth) has a bit of a shot in it. Been hit in the head too many times.
ReplyDeleteI generally agree. But man, that Diesel/Mabel main event was like shopping for the best ingredients possible to make the greatest dinner ever, and then having your check-out cashier spit at you. It just soured the entire experience because it was the last thing you remember. All the worse because you knew entering the store that the cashier was going to spit at you.
ReplyDeleteYes, I think '95 was when every PPV started being on a Sunday night (Taboo Tuesday excepted). '94 had the last Thanksgiving Eve Survivor Series, the last Monday SummerSlam, and the last afternoon WrestleMania.
ReplyDeleteI thought TSN started airing Raw in 1995?
ReplyDeleteIt's pretty basic. I can see what people mean when they talk about Bret not working as hard on house shows.
ReplyDeleteI can see Diesel/Mabel being a good Raw main event shortly after KOTR, I mean, it's basic booking, have Nash start out hot, Mable kills him for a few minutes, Nash makes the babyface comeback and barely pulls out the win, but sells the beating he took for the next few weeks. See, that's how wrestling used to work, the right guy goes over, but the other guy looks at least respectable in defeat.
ReplyDeleteBut fucking Diesel and Mable headlining SS? That shit might fly at one of the IYH shows, but not at one of the big 4.
I started watching in 95, and the only PPVs (besides Taboo Tuesday) that weren't on Sunday were WCW Souled Out and Hog/Road Wild, which were on Saturday night.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'll just skip it then. Not a big fan of just straight technical match, I need someone violence or highspots to be entertained. Or even a good power match, I love watching big hosses toss each other around.
ReplyDeleteI'll take a "We're going to use every finisher in Fire Pro as a transition move" match over two guys working the leg for 15 minutes every time.
Man, I remember seeing those satellite dishes. I was SO jealous (digital cable was eons away), but I knew nobody who had one, so I never got to invite myself over and bogart their TV. Did they offer more channels than you can even get these days with Digital? What were the costs like back then?
ReplyDeleteThe loss of the jobber is a good and bad thing. I don't think I could sit through a show like this today, no way.
ReplyDeleteBut it has also diluted and taken away the luster of superstar showdowns. SNME used to really be epic and mean something, because all the top dogs were gonna go at it.
So idk. I think I would just be happy if they brought back SNME, just like it was. Jessee and Vince on commentary, and those short and sweet promos at the beginning with the intense music playing. Make it happen!
Understandable. Whenever I see Kronik I can barely even tell them apart visually. Why Vince never thought about teaming them up when he had them both in the mid 90s is a mystery. They could have been the New LOD.
ReplyDeleteNot ACTUALLY The New LOD. That'd be... horrible...
No, Who was on second.
ReplyDelete"[...] no radiation was released at 3 Mile Island [...]"
ReplyDeleteJesse Ventura: "that's what they want you to believe!"
personally I thought the face turn was a disappointment. Adam Bomb was one of the very first heels that I liked as a young kid. and I was really excited when he became "a good guy".... but then suddenly wasn't the monster he was before and I stopped being a fan of his.
ReplyDeleteTheir feud in '99 in WCW was semi-decent in the ring but Clark hated working with Bam Bam who he considered lazy.
ReplyDeleteBret/Yankem also had a pretty good match with Jacobs carrying his fair share and Undertaker/Kama also worked hard not to suck.
ReplyDeleteTo be fair, he wasn't exactly a monster as a heel either. Dude couldn't win a match of any significance. It was pretty frustrating being a fan of his.
ReplyDeleteJust a horrible show. Thank God for Nitro. Without that motivation, I think Vince was content with rolling this kind of crap out every week.
ReplyDeleteNo, What was on second, Who was on First, I Don't Know - THIRD BASE!
ReplyDeleteAnd you kept watching after that? You're a dedicated man, sir.
ReplyDeleteWell the jobbers are one thing, but when you go from Mr Perfect, Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage or Ultimate Warrior vs Jobber to Duke Droese, Bob Holly or Kwang vs Jobber, then something is wrong.
ReplyDeleteBrian Clark/Wrath/Adam Bomb isn't dead.
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing wrong with midcard jobber matches so long as the midcarder has cool explosive offense the crowd can pop for.
ReplyDeleteFunny thing though, this was the Undertaker's first match on free TV in a good 8-10 months, so it was actually a huge deal. And competitive matches were rare at the time, so even an opponent like Kwang made it interesting. So Vince didn't really need to put much effort into the rest of the show, Taker's return was the big draw. Definitely different times back then.
ReplyDeleteLate 1994, the first one I saw was Anvil vs Bulldog, and Blayze/Morgan vs Luna/Nakano. It's actually not far away.
ReplyDeleteAnd he proceeded to do poorly at the Survivor Series and the Rumble, job to HBK on TV, not be on the WM 11 card at all, jobbing to Henry Godwinn, and Jobbing to a heel Mabel. (for anyone who says Daniel Bryan got buried... Talk to Adam Bomb!)
ReplyDeleteI do remember Diesel getting a huge pop when he got the pin though, so the crowd was surprisingly into it. It sure as hell wasn't worthy of a Summerslam main event, but it was actually an acceptable match.
ReplyDelete"Nash makes the babyface comeback and barely pulls out the win, but sells the beating he took for the next few weeks."
ReplyDeleteHe sure did sell the beating, he no-showed the house show I attended the following week!!!
Adams was taller; 6'7'' or so.
ReplyDeleteBring back the squashes, it's fine. Zack Ryder and Truth can work several matches a show. It's not like they'll be tired from getting any offense in.
ReplyDeleteThere's no way that's the only one. They toured the fall of 94 wrestling each other.
ReplyDeleteyeah, I did a double take. I didn't think he was dead either.
ReplyDeleteWhen Mabel yelled out clearly "I'm gonna be the first black champion!" it was a bit awkward. Heels shouldn't really say stuff like that unless WWF wanted the wrong kind of boos.
ReplyDeleteEven Bret could only do so much with a slug like Neidhart.
ReplyDeleteHart Attack tour, baby!! (Get it? HART vs NeidHART, and a 600 lbs guy who is deathly afraid of caskets, being in a casket match. He might die of a heart attack and all!!!)
ReplyDeleteI knew TNA was desperate for ratings, but...
ReplyDelete...weel, actually they'd at least be trying something different from WWE and appealing to a different audience.
I watched until the 6th Flair-style ball shot. It is more bad wrestling than it is porn. I suppose that's intentional (can't set up all the gay in a 5 star classic) but still, I found it dumb, campy, and strange...but not pornographic.
ReplyDelete*waves sarcasm sign*
ReplyDelete"WHAT'S DEVON DOING TO BULLY RAY'S IMPACT ZONE, TAZ?"
ReplyDeleteOkay you won. You're the main eventer on the BOD (which is as cool as kissing your sister) . I will never question your authority again. I just hope you get out of the house today and get a little fresh air and maybe in a few months you can work your way up to like 1-2 minutes of cardio
ReplyDeleteProof that Bryan Clark is, in fact, not dead:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.danisagency.com/search.php?id=Bryan%20Clark
This is known as the Heart Attack Special, right?
ReplyDeleteGatorade is kind of gross, I prefer Powerade. But they're both good for accomplishing the goal of post-binge hydration.
ReplyDeleteWell, if anything on this blog seems like a safe link to click at work... this is it.
ReplyDeleteActually, he did guy films after he made it big as well. They were paying huge, and I remember him on Adam Carolla saying something along the lines of, "It's just work to me. It's just like working in a different office... for an hour... that paid 10 times as much."
ReplyDeleteIf you're so used to it, that it's just work, so be it.
Back in England we call that a banger in the mouth, or as you yanks would say, a sausage in the mouth.
ReplyDeleteNope, we just call it sausage.
Oh wait until you see it in HD... but honestly, to really appreciate the outfit of Seth Rollins (or the size of the Big Show), you have to see it live and in person!
ReplyDeleteOne strange dude at work legitimately asked our group of guys at lunch if we'd ever been fucked in the ass.
ReplyDeleteIn those words.
With no segue.
Eh, Otters are the tall slender type... kind a hairy. Not quite Meekin material.
ReplyDeleteI think this may work for Seth...
ReplyDeletehttp://static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/11113/111136881/3752204-8356278285-almos.jpg
Such gentlemen... always offer to push in your stool.
ReplyDelete"Suddenly I could get ECW, SMW, WCW, that shitty Sportatorium crap with JBL and Ahmed Johnson..."
ReplyDeleteNo badmouthing the GWF on my watch!
Jim Norton has a line that goes "Hey, just because I went to Paris, that doesn't make me a frenchman!"
ReplyDeleteand a Norm McDonald line. "There's nothing wrong with being gay. Unless you're not gay. Then there is something VERY wrong with it."
Perhaps the re-edited version days later, but the first time they showed RAW on Monday night was the episode with HHH getting the IC title from Marc Mero in late 96.
ReplyDeleteBased on that video, he would probably prefer a night with HHH.
ReplyDeleteWhat about those gay men who marry to hide their sexuality? They had sex with their wives...does that make them straight?
ReplyDeleteMaybe there's a difference between a homosexual identity and a homosexual act.
ReplyDeleteKnowing Vince, you won't see a wrestling soccer player until 2015.
ReplyDeleteTL:DR
ReplyDelete"Hulk Hogan is in the building!"
ReplyDelete"YEAH, BUT WHO SIDE IS HE ON?"
"Ummm...right now, it's looking like the backside, Brain."
because of the two calvin avatar thingies
ReplyDeletehttp://www.clickhole.com/video/if-you-grew-calvin-hobbes-you-need-watch-right-now-318?utm_campaign=default&utm_medium=ShareTools&utm_source=twitter
you're welcome
Ah, the battle cry of the illiterate.
ReplyDeleteOh right, forgot that it was often around Fridays at first. At least there was no internet to spoil it I guess.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure that's why they reset Cesaro.
ReplyDeleteVince: Pal, you mean to tell me he's supposed to be... a Rugby player!? I FUCKING HATE SOCCER! FUCK!
Some of your jokes fall flat, but the article overall was quite good. Hope we see more of you around here.
ReplyDeleteLuniz!
ReplyDeleteWhat in the blue hell did I wonder into?
ReplyDeleteGod thats so much
ReplyDeleteI think the product over the last few years is proof of that as well. Vince McMahon without competition is not Vince McMahon at his best.
ReplyDeleteGood article, although Paige does not resemble a Suicide Girl due to the lack of tattoos and odd piercings.
ReplyDeleteDon't judge me.
I'm sure Rollins is saying the same thing.
ReplyDeleteIf you enjoy Clown and King comedy, get excited...the next few months feature the riveting/HILARIOUS Doink/Lawler feud that was setting the world on fire at this time.
ReplyDeleteI guess I'm being a prude, but I think there is something wrong with having sex for money. If you disagree I assume that it would .be cool with you if your mom/girlfriend/daughter/sister/son/wife'/dad/whatever started giving bj's to strangers for some extra spending money
ReplyDeletePersonally, I would prefer that they found a non cock-sucking part time job,.McDonalds is always hiring. Not a glamorous job, but when you work at the Golden Arches you never have to have hobo jizz in your mouth.
Assuming you don't order the filet-o-fish on your lunch break
I bet HHH offered him Orton for a night as the deal
ReplyDelete>>(Thailand is #1, obviously).
ReplyDeleteThey even have one on their flag
Great start.
ReplyDeleteIt just comes down to forethought and planning, really. They bring so many people up from NXT before they seem to have a clear idea of what to do with them. And when the writers don't know why we should care about them, the non-NXT audience doesn't know why it should care, either.
All they set up for Woods, Paige, and Emma was, "Look! It's (insert name here) from NXT!"
Paige would've been the easiest thing to pimp. Just show vignettes of her stretching/kicking the shit out of the NXT divas while talking about how she's not a model or a reality TV star, and how she wants to tear through all of the Barbie dolls in WWE. Boom--she has a story, plus you can book her strong, rather than as a fluke.
Or Woods: they spent a lot of time talking about his Ph.D. studies in NXT. Why not make him Dr. X? Do some kind of weird Lanny Poffo variation or super-nerd kind of thing, rather than just making him Generic Dancing Black Dude #4? Just give the guy something that makes him stand out, you know?
Great article.
ReplyDeleteOther than the horrible production and match quality, about the same as an early Goldust match, or a Billy & Chuck match, or a Lodi & Lane match, or a Bruce match. not even softcore, I've seen softcore gay wrestling porn :P
ReplyDeleteUh..no. I just have a short attention span. Wicked burn though.
ReplyDeletePeople can live however they want, but Is gender just based on which set of naughty bits you choose to have, or does dna enter into it?
ReplyDeletebuddy roberts ahhahwsheduhwefh3rfvuh93frfnuibdo[wduo[2dfh2euogfff02jllpplololololoud2ebuhwdeyry
ReplyDeleteBring back PJ Walker!
ReplyDeleteThey seemed to usher out the 'anti-Diva' thing as they were considering bringing her up on the main roster.
ReplyDeleteI just find it hilarious that they find the best way of getting someone over would be to make them the same as all the other girls, despite the anti-diva thing getting her OVER in the first place.
I noticed she used to have it decked all over her Twitter, then one day, it was gone.
Not a coincidence.
I mean, the only thing I can think of as to why they'd want to ditch the gimmick was 'oh man, that'll just bury all of our other divas!'. Erm, right. What a shame that'd be.
This was good. I enjoyed it!
ReplyDeleteI didn't understand some of the gags because i'm British and watch mainly nothing on TV, but still.
Also, it was slightly on the lengthy side, but this is one of the most hypocritical comments I could ever make, as my reviews on here tend to go on forever.
Rollins has a serious taint sweat problem. Meekin is pondering a career change. A guy someone here knows got raped in the ear.
ReplyDeleteYou're pretty much caught up now
In his defense he was told by Pat Patterson that it was his tryout match.
ReplyDeleteAs a mark back in '95 and truly hating the Bodydonnas (in spite of the lovely Tammy) seeing Barry Horowitz win was a great midcard moment! Year after year Horowitz put over talent, but in '95 he got a PPV match! (pats himself on the back)
ReplyDeleteI remember Tadano. He did indeed make it to the bigs, pitching for Cleveland in 2004 and briefly in 2005. He wasn't very good. Some might say that he sucked. Eventually, he flamed out and ended up back in Japan.
ReplyDeleteJust seen over on 411 that Rollins has a new attire... looks like the budgie-smuggler from this video wasn't PG enough.
ReplyDeleteIs GWF still available on ESPN classic?
ReplyDeleteHe sucked.
ReplyDeleteNow Aldo Montoya, that guy had star written all over him.
My first exposure to Paige was her showing up on Raw and winning the title. While it was cool and different to see a rookie come out and win, it would have been nice to know who the hell she was. I wasn't really invested in her winning, and AJ wasn't really evil enough to want to see her lose.
ReplyDeleteWe really don't know any more about the Wyatts since they debuted. Are they supposed to be farmers? Why the sheep mask? How did they meet? How can they be a family with different names?
Dude, you have a lot of Pat Patterson jokes. I think you have a problem with gay folks...
ReplyDeleteNo. Patterson is an easy target.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.cagematch.net/?id=2&nr=565&page=4&search=neidhart
ReplyDeleteIt happened toooons of times in the summer of 94, but never on TV, although at least twice it was a dark match on Raw, so in theory there might be high quality video of the matchup in the vaults.
Probably not with gay folk, but definitely with French Canadians.
ReplyDeleteThey dressed him like the Winter Soldier.
ReplyDeleteI'm just glad they haven't turned Roman Reigns into the black trunks/black boots guy yet.
ReplyDeleteAlthough something tells me it's coming.
Winter Soldier XXX porn parody.
ReplyDeleteGay or straight, money is money. Who is to say a gay man wouldn't buy a pictorial of a man if it was say Muscle and Fitness or Sports Illustrated?
ReplyDeleteIf you want to be honest Michaels probably showed as much skin in WWE Magazine than he did in the Playgirl pics.
No. They are gay men that are not comfortable in their sexuality or not in a position to come out.
ReplyDeleteThey were still in the habit of taping EVERYTHING back then for Coliseum Video releases, so maybe.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's like football: Did he cross the plane?
ReplyDeleteOr the line I heard, "There is nothing wrong with a gay couple....especially if they are two attractive women."
ReplyDeleteI miss when a random midcarder could win a battle royal. On SNME Hercules won a battle royal that had Hulk Hogan AND Andre the Giant in it. I'm watching the Battle Royal form Raw and you know the only guy who has a chance is Roman Reigns.
ReplyDeleteIsn't this child porn?
ReplyDeleteOK, now I'm afraid to click on any link in this thread. Is this work safe?
ReplyDeleteOh that explains everything now.
ReplyDelete"He's got him by the yam bag!"
ReplyDeleteWas he incredible or what?
ReplyDeleteI know. My point was that he said doing a "gay" act means a man is gay whereas I countered asking if a gay man doing a straight act makes them hetero.
ReplyDeleteI'll be skipping any Team 3P matches, that's for sure.
ReplyDeleteI guess the closest similar scenario would be Sandow winning MITB last year.
ReplyDeleteHe was. He was just incredible.
ReplyDelete"Being gay mostly has to do with biological composition, not some decision at some point in one's life."
ReplyDeleteAll jokes aside what is the difference between a gay man or a straight man from a physical (or as you put it biological) standpoint?
I just asked myself, What would Sandow say?
ReplyDeleteThat was the second thing that came to me after, 'So who am I jobbing for this week?'
I could, however, very easily imagine Paige modeling for Victoria Secret. In fact, think I will do so right now.
ReplyDeleteNice debut article.
ReplyDeleteTo expand on a point I made about Adam Rose in another thread, he has a character that could indeed transition from NXT to Raw, but they need to pronounce that character a bit more.
We know he has some partyers that follow him to the ring and he has the Exotic Express, but why is he in the WWE? It could be, for example, that he's a good wrestler, who has always loved to party, and what better way to see the world than working in the WWE. He has tremendous talent, but people around him are always saying that if he focused a little harder, he could be champion. He doesn't get as upset as he should when he loses matches, because he's got a bus full of party animals waiting for him. He wants to win the U.S. title because it guarantees him a magazine shoot in New York City and that's the party capital of the world. He wasn't quite able to pull off the victory in a money in the bank match because he's hurting from being out too late the night before.
Instead its: here's this guy, he likes to party.
The Kurt Angle promo where he figured this out and X-Pac was just like "Ok Kurt!!" was awesome.
ReplyDeleteI suspect the WWE writers aren't actually following NXT, thus defeating the purpose of the whole 'develop a character before we bring them up' idea.
ReplyDeleteI'm bi a lot of things, but not bilingual!
ReplyDeleteMaybe another problem was that Paige got over in NXT as the anti-diva and then came up to defeat AJ, who also doesn't fit the stereotypical diva mold.
ReplyDeleteThey might have actually brought up Paige's gimmick by transitioning the belt to Summer Rae or Alicia Fox and then have Paige come in to claim the title in the name of substance over style.
I like that, he's a party addict. Of course, might say it hits too close to home, but that's why it would have some gravity.
ReplyDeletevaguely remember that they found a gene that was an indicator
ReplyDeleteI heard something about that awhile back but it was never 100% confirmed. As it is that is a lane I wouldn't go down because then people can say it's a genetic defect.
ReplyDeleteHe didn't have a power source.
ReplyDeletePolo should have been carrying around a rod of plutonium or something like that.
Worked for Taker.
Did anyone ever see Change-Up with Ryan Reynolds and Jason Bateman?
ReplyDeleteFirst thing I thought of when reading this was that lorno scene. "Stick your thumb into her ass, her starfish is so clean you could eat cake off it!"
I would note that for all the "NXT transition" stuff, they actually ditched quite a bit about Ambrose, Reigns, and Rollins to turn them into the Shield on debuting.
ReplyDeleteGreatest response ever.
ReplyDeleteIt looks more like passable wrestling gear when he takes the shirt off.
ReplyDeleteYep... well it's wrestling, so not entirely.
ReplyDeleteFar too wordy. Try to keep it in the 700 - 1000 word range and you will hold people's attention better. Well written though... noly other suggestion I have is avoid the self deprecating stuff ("he says after 1600 words of verbal diarrhea" is an example)... for whatever reason new internet writers do this a lot and there is literally no reason for it or upside to it. Solid effort though.
ReplyDeleteI'm British and watch lots of TV. All the gags seemed good to me.
ReplyDeleteDo we have anyone here from Scandinavia or Asia?
Surely the third - I imagine Sandow having a lot of lonely, suicidal monologues to himself. Like Teddy Buckland from Scrubs.
ReplyDeleteHoly shit am glad I didn't click that at work..?
ReplyDeleteYeah apparently Seth is engaged and has been with the girl for seven years.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure that TSN started showing it on Mondays in the summer of 96. I remember watching at that time and getting excited that I no longer had to wait a few days. The HHH-Mero match was from the Oct. 21 episode (yes, the fact I remember that is scary, and sad).
ReplyDeleteWell, at least you have CRAZY BOB! coming up for the next little while. That is something, at least.
ReplyDeletewe were talking about porn stars doing gay scenes, right? so until the guy says otherwise I would assume he is only in it for the money (the same way like there's enough female porn stars who perform sex acts on camera they don't like).
ReplyDeleteas mentioned in my other reply: porn stars do things on camera they won't do in their private life ALL THE TIME.
ReplyDeleteWhat kind/color...uh, just out of curioisity.
ReplyDeleteEspecially considering who is ex is!
ReplyDeleteI think they can get away with that now since Roman actually got over.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed the read. I didn't have a problem with the length, but I do agree fully with the self-deprecation bit. It's really understandable though before you find your full voice and character as a writer.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking more of Triple H basically playing a depraved homosexual stereotype out of Cruising himself, but yeah, Chyna looks like a dude, that's still funny.
ReplyDeleteI think it was "But lingual ain't one of them."
ReplyDeleteYou feel like a champ afterwards
ReplyDeleteDeadspin had an article a couple of weeks ago with a video of Tadano throwing the most insane eephus pitch I've seen
ReplyDeleteIf I decide to really go hard on drinking (memorial day weekend) its just an 800mg of motrin and sips of water afterwards.
ReplyDeleteI cant just throw back water/gatorade ill just vomit it back up.
Both compliments and criticism are appreciated, folks. I need to shake off my rust a little bit, and I'll be good to go. Plan is to do this weekly. Any topics people want to see me look at?
ReplyDeleteAlso, let's face it, the only reason I'm really doing this is to get Bayless to push my guy in the E-fed.
The Xavier Woods joke didn't deserve to be repeated so many times...
ReplyDeleteBut the rest is strong. It's really baffling how staid and conservative WWE 'Creative' is. I guess it's Vince, in that he likes what he likes and isn't interested in hearing ideas that are outside of his comfort zone. Or outside of the main event. When was the last meaningful feud between midcarders?
Cesaro and Swagger had kind of a thing, I guess, but it was throwaway. Would it be so hard to put Adam Rose and Bo Dallas in a feud and test which of them gets more crowd reaction?
how did u find this video lol lololol
ReplyDeleteAs someone familiar with his work in his home area, as well as knowing quite a few people that are friends with him personally, Seth is not gay and this is a wrestling match, not gay porn. Seth and Marek have been close friends for years, and Marek was very nearly a member of Age of the Fall in ROH before a neck injury significantly derailed his career.
ReplyDeleteHaven't heard of that, any good?
ReplyDeleteMeets ZOD from Superman II. Which is the most recent superhero movie Vince has actually seen.
ReplyDeleteBudgie-smuggler? :D
ReplyDeleteI remember him - dead now, I think?
ReplyDeleteI remember "My Girlfriend's Girlfriend". Maybe she had a song called "My Boyfriend's Boyfriend" about him and Shawn Michaels.
Haha, yeah that's the term for a pair of skinny trunks that when worn look like you're hiding a pet budgie down the front.
ReplyDeleteNot as gay as... you.
ReplyDeleteNeed some ice?
Depends whether it's consensual or not. I'm not going to judge someone for being ear-raped, but if he wanted it, he's ear-gay.
ReplyDeleteIt's just work to him because he likes having peckers in his bunghole. That has more to do with sexuality than convenience and opportunity.
ReplyDeleteDo you think every attractive straight guy would jump at the chance to be banged in the ass on film for thousands of dollars?
Some gay guys do that, and even some gay guys have sex with women before they fully realise that they're gay. It doesn't make them straight, it would make them closeted and probably - technically - bisexual.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if there are physiological differences that can actually be viewed. The only definitions are based on behaviour, though.
ReplyDeleteEh, two different standards for men and women in that regard.
ReplyDeleteWomen can undress comfortably in the same room and give each other pecks on the mouth and pillow fight... in their panties... and...
...Sorry, what?