The SmarK Rant for WWE NXT – 06.05.14
As those of you who follow me on Facebook know, this has been a very bad couple of days for me for trampoline-related reasons, so thankfully NXT is here to cheer me up.
Taped from Orlando, FL.
Your hosts are Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton & William Regal.
Mojo Rawley v. Aiden English
Aiden accuses Mojo of letting down the entire USA last week, so Mojo attacks with clotheslines while Regal is “just joshing” the other announcers. English takes over with a neckbreaker for two and he goes to the chinlock, but Mojo shoves him out of the corner to break. He fires off the butt splash out of nowhere to finish at 2:48. Not much to this one. *1/2
Charlotte v. Bayley
They fight over a hiptoss to start and Bayley gets an armdrag and busts out the MAT WRESTLING, but Charlotte chops her down. Charlotte MOCKS her mat skillz and drops a knee a for two, then goes to the figure-four headscissors and flips her over for two. Bayley makes the comeback, but gets involved with Sasha. Back in, Bayley gets a back elbow off the middle for two, but now Summer Rae returns and Charlotte finishes with the neckbreaker at 4:15. Summer Rae gives her old friends some ass-out hugs and they do a beatdown of Bayley for old times, but Paige and Emma quickly save. This is like a whole women’s division and everything. *1/2
Meanwhile, Jason Jordan & Tye Dillinger are all wacky.
Jason Jordan & Tye Dillinger v. Stuart Cumberland & Philip Ghouljar
Even the announcers can’t believe these ridiculous jobber names. The babyfaces work Cumberland over, but it’s time for the wrath of GHOULJAR. He gets beat up while the announcers continue mocking him openly. Dillinger actually gets double-teamed in the jobber corner before Jordan gets a hot tag and Ghouljar nearly breaks his neck taking a backdrop bump totally wrong. Or maybe he’s just nuts and made that choice, I dunno. Jordan quickly finishes him with an Angle Slam at 6:00. Man, these guys just have nothing going on in the ring and don’t even have a flashy name. When the focal point of the match is how stupid the jobber’s name is, you’re not getting over.
Meanwhile, Charlotte and Sasha aren’t so happy to see Summer Rae return from Hollywood.
Tyler Breeze joins us to debut his new music video, and man is that new song throwing his entrance completely off. The video is dedicated to all his fans…even the uggos. Well, that’s nice. I guess the point is that it’s supposed to be over the top terrible, and it certainly accomplished that.
NXT title: Adrian Neville v. Justin Gabriel
They trade armdrags to start and Neville snaps off a rana to put Gabriel on the floor. After they trade fake dives, Neville hits him with a somersault off the apron and back in for two. We take a break and return with Gabriel in control, but Neville puts him down with kicks and fires off a missile dropkick for two. Neville spins into a dragon sleeper, but Gabriel turns it into a suplex for two. He misses a moonsault and Neville tries a springboard bodypress to counter, but Gabriel dropkicks him out of the air for two. Gabriel to the top, but the 450 misses and Neville finishes with the Red Arrow at 8:00. This was fine. **1/2 Tyson Kidd is out to challenge for the title again, and Neville is amicable to that idea.
The Pulse
Just a pleasant show to kick off the new cycle, as Neville looks to be the fighting champion that Daniel Bryan should be and the BFFs are due for a split. Sometimes that’s all you need.
leave the trampoline-related activities to professionals like dennis stamp
ReplyDeleteReally confused about Charlotte. Thought she was a heel, then she came off as a total babyface at Takeover, now she's being all bitch-like again?
ReplyDeleteTrampolines huh? I can't be the only one picturing this...
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ceWZ624wBVA
Dennis Stamp Nation titantron: http://youtu.be/S-udzBWFHDs
ReplyDeleteRemember Scott, always wear heavy, nose-breaking elbow and knee pads to any and all Slamball sporting events.
ReplyDeleteWait, you mean that was an actual NXT title match? Like in the old days where the champion actually defended the title every week and stuff? No "Hey, nobody can get a title shot without the Heel Authority Figure's approval" or "Person has to win an arbitrary #1 contenders match" or any of that nonsense?
ReplyDeleteGod, I love this show!
All it's missing is Homer trying to get rid of the trampoline, Wile E. Coyote-style.
ReplyDeleteI don't follow you on (or even have) Facebook, Scott, so what happened with the trampoline?
ReplyDeleteI once tried to do a 450 from my friend's trampoline into pool, I came up a couple feet short and smacked my head on the edge of the pool. It sounded like a gunshot, and I was immediately at .7 Muta. Lucky for me her mom was an R.N.
ReplyDeleteWasn't a title match. Typo from Scott.
ReplyDeleteTramampoline! Trabampoline!!
ReplyDeleteDefine "old days"? I don't recall Flair or Hogan defending the title on free TV every week.
ReplyDeleteSo is the Muta blood scale based on one match/bladejob in particular, or more on Muta's overall body of work?
ReplyDeleteI feel you. Tried to moonsault from the side of the pool once to similar results. 12 stitches later
ReplyDeleteI was thinking of The Simpsons. TRANCANBAMPOLINE?!?!
ReplyDeleteYep, that post sounds like a generic "BACK IN MY DAY WRESTLING WAS GREAT AND WE WALKED 6 MILES UPHILL IN SNOW TO GET TO SCHOOL" type of post. Just not a very accurate one.
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2yxfSRz-cw
ReplyDeleteThis match, around 14:50 in.
But was announced as being "no DQ" for reasons that were never relevant. I'm assuming they just had that graphic leftover from the Brodus match and forgot to change it.
ReplyDeleteSo there's a wrestler named Jason Jordan now? He should totally get a valet named Samantha Bee. They should redo the terrorist angle with a character named Aasif Mandvi.
ReplyDeleteWell, it's not like the NXT guys run a full house show schedule... defending the title on free TV every week in this era would be the rough equivalent of Flair's somewhat famous "8 title defenses in 7 days" JCP schedule back in the mid/late 80s.
ReplyDeleteMy friend had a shed next to his trampoline; he climbed up on the shed, moonsaulted onto the trampoline, and bounced off onto the grass in the fetal position.
ReplyDeleteThe daily show guy is jason jones.
ReplyDeleteRight, so he is. This is what happens when I post on three hours sleep.
ReplyDeleteA few things that were funny from last night's show:
ReplyDelete1. William Regal: "Tyler Breeze has entered the building, dressed in all his finery, looking dandy as always." (for you youngsters, a dandy is, as described by Wikipedia, "a man who places particular importance upon physical appearance, refined language, and leisurely hobbies, pursued with the appearance of nonchalance in a cult of Self.")
2. The crowd chanting "That was awesome!" after Tyler's video.
3. A random guy in the crowd yelled "Choo Choo!" when Adrian Neville went to do a corner-to-corner charge.
That sentence isn't referring to Breeze as a dandy, as dandies had a specific style of dress. He's just using the word to describe Breeze. Dandy fashion has had influence on succeeding generations of fashion, particularly the mods, but Breeze definitely doesn't dress in a style that would be similar. He's more Zoolander-style fashion excess.
ReplyDeleteThe graphic earlier in the show specifically said "No DQ title match". That would be a boo boo on their part.
ReplyDelete