The SmarK Rant for WWE NXT – 06.12.14
Taped from Orlando, FL
Your hosts are Rich Brennan, Alex Riley & Renee Young
Bayley, Emma & Paige v. Charlotte, Summer Rae & Sasha Banks
Good thing they stripped Paige of the NXT title because she’d be too busy on the main roster and all. The BFFs appear to be having some interpersonal conflict, thus contradicting their name. Women, amiright? Charlotte slugs it out with Emma to start, but Sasha pulls Emma off the apron and we take a break. Back with Summer working Emma over, which sets up the figure-four headlock from Charlotte. Summer takes selfies with the front row while the others continue beating on Emma. I’m sensing a storyline here. Renee being all jealous and bitter about how Charlotte and Summer are taller than her is a weirdly neat and real touch. Sasha goes to the chinlock, but Emma fights out and makes the hot tag, which quickly leads to BFF miscommunication and a rollup of Charlotte for the pin at 13:00. Summer gives Charlotte a HAIR WHIP in retaliation, and Renee points out that it’s, like, the worst thing that you can do to another girl in elementary school. Not much to this one. **
Meanwhile, JBL signs the mysterious Mr. NXT to a contract.
Meanwhile, Alexa Bliss runs afoul of the BFFs and challenges Sasha to a match.
Colin Cassady v. Sylvester Lefort
I’m really starting to miss Enzo. Cass throws Lefort around, but gets clubbed down with some clubbing forearms. Cass quickly comes back with knees and elbows, puts him down with the big boot, and finishes with the East River slam at 2:22. Thankfully he toned down the SAWFT stuff to one occurrence, thus making it more special. ½*
Meanwhile, Tyson Kidd and Natalya have some marital discord. Dude, if the writers want to book an angle where you’re fighting with your real life spouse, JUST SAY NO. Nothing good can ever come of it!
Meanwhile, Aiden English meets old-timey strongman SIMON GOTCH. That’s a gimmick that’s perfect for NXT but I bet would instantly flop on RAW.
Sami Zayn v. Mr. NXT
So mysterious, especially the entrance, which is totally not reminiscent of anyone else. Especially not his ugly teeth. Mr. NXT puts him down with a shoulderblock and celebrates, so the crowd chants “You can’t fool us”. The announcers are baffled. The man is a gold-medal winning luchador! What’s there to be confused about? Mr. NXT throws elbows in the corner and catches Zayn with a clothesline, then actually stops to deny being Bo Dallas. No masked man has ever lied before, so I trust him. Then Zayn goes and rips the mask off and my faith is shattered. Heluva Kick finishes at 4:05 in the midst of all the confusion and tears and shattered dreams. Just a comedy match, but it was a funny gag. ½* And Sami brings out campus security and has Bo thrown out of Full Sail. Again.
NXT title: Adrian Neville v. Tyson Kidd
They trade hammerlocks on the mat and Neville dumps him and follows with a dive, which naturally has Natalya concerned. Back in, it gets two and Neville goes to a wristlock as we take a break. Back with Kidd in control, as though by some sort of sorcery, or possibly witchcraft, and he holds a chinlock. Neville escapes with a sunset flip, but Kidd rolls into a dropkick for two. Backdrop suplex gets two. Kidd cranks on a headlock, but Neville comes back with a missile dropkick and a northern lights suplex for two. Enzuigiri and standing moonsault gets two. They trade high kicks on the apron and Kidd wins that battle and apparently gets the pin, but Neville’s foot is in the ropes. And not only that, but Nat tipped off the ref! DEVIL WOMAN. So Kidd hangs him in the Tree of Woe and beats on him with a dropkick, which sets up the Sharpshooter, but Neville makes the ropes. Neville with a small package for two, and a high kick sets up the Red Arrow, but Kidd knocks him down and hits the Blockbuster for a close two. Springboard elbow gets two. Kidd goes for a chair, but Nat cockblocks him AGAIN and stops him, and that allows Neville to finish with the Red Arrow at 18:38. Women and title shots just don’t mix. ***1/2
The Pulse
Mostly a throwaway show, but a hell of a main event.
"I’m really starting to miss Enzo."
ReplyDeleteBe patient a few more weeks Scott and you'll be rewarded.
MY ENJOYMENT OF FUTURE EVENTS WAS RUINED WITH ONE SENTENCE YOU JER-*shot yet again*
ReplyDeleteThis might sound dumb, but between Sandow and Gotch, I really like the reconstitution of classic wrestling names. Gives them a sense of legitimacy names like McGillicutty, Husky, Ohno, Kruger, Skip, Ziggler, and all the other previous ridiculous ones never could. That being said, I recount this statement as soon as they bring in someone named Toots.
ReplyDeleteSimon Gotch is a good, manly wrestling name. I approve of it.
ReplyDeleteThe WWE Name Generator gave Bully Busick Jr a decent name. I can't wait for Nick Muchsamuel.
ReplyDeleteGorgeous George was totaly legitimate!
ReplyDeleteThey did and it didn't make sense there either especially since they were building up Sting to be the guy to finally pry away the strap from Hollywood Hogan.
ReplyDeleteUntil he feuds with Cena and Cena makes a bunch of Simon Says jokes.
ReplyDeleteI really wanted Kidd to win. I thought the blockbuster would be his moment
ReplyDeleteDamn you
ReplyDeleteYeah, even the worst episodes of Thunder still had a ton of wrestling matches on them, that's an upgrade over an alleged "wrestling" show that has more talking than Total Divas and Legends' House combined.
ReplyDeleteMakes me wonder why Simon Diamond never made it to WWE. His gimmick was a perfect fit for that company.
ReplyDeleteHow about Angle/Lesnar?
ReplyDeleteGranted it wasn't really a match, and it was mainly done as a rib on insiders, but it still enhanced the WMXIX main event just the same.
Best of all, he looks EXACTLY like what someone with that name would look like
ReplyDeleteNeville sold the absolute HELL out of it.
ReplyDeleteThat really was a great match.
So Magnus goes from evil to Even More Evil because he decided to rebel against the authority -- Dixie being the "they" he was referring to that made him wear suits and act corporate -- but Bully Ray goes from evil to Good Guy because he decided to rebel against the same authority?
ReplyDeleteHey, their bearded underdog champ just had a gauntlet match... How fresh?? How long until he has voluntary neck surgery?
ReplyDeleteBut TNA copies everything. The swerve will be in fact Young can't compete due to injury and has to surrender the title to MVP. My prediction is that the main event will then be some other face backed by Dixie beating MVP for the title right away.
ReplyDeleteNeeds long tights and little shoes.
ReplyDeleteAfter he hits the AA, he yells "Gotch-ya!" and smirks at the audience.
ReplyDeleteNot for nothing but if they wanted a THROWBACK, I know of a few guys in Chikara that could have done that job.
ReplyDeleteKidd is a great heel coming into his own. They'd be dumb to put a mask on him
ReplyDeleteSimon says YOU ARE POOPY!
ReplyDeleteThe audience whose right to boo him or cheer him he respects!
ReplyDeleteHe was probably upset that his wife married another guy there then sexed him to death.
ReplyDeleteThat took me a second to remember, but can you blame me for not remembering that angle?
ReplyDeleteJust caught up with NXT Takeover. Great show. Nearly everyone there is so well defined in terms of character that you'd never know these are the developmental guys. Tyler Breeze, for example, is what Ziggler should have been.
ReplyDeleteIt's the closest thing to a territory show there's been in twenty years and that people are only around for a short while (in general) is a massive benefit to the show. Win/losses mean something, angles have payoffs, they have impressively defined divisions given the talent base; man, when it looks this easy you wonder how nearly everyone else fucks it up.
I'm very happy to hear you make a living off this stuff. I've bought a few of your books, so I feel better knowing I'm supporting someone.
ReplyDeleteWhy do you watch bad wrestling, though? I'm not trying to be snarky, but NJPW is right there waiting for someone to review. It's much better wrestling and a lot of people can't get past the announcing, so there might be an audience there. I dunno...just a thought.
That selfie thing in the opener reminds me of an NJPW six-man I saw recently in which one of the heels walked into the crowd, sat in an empty chair next to a pretty girl, and hit on her while his two partners beat up the face-in-peril. No internal tension there, though; it was just a great cocky-heel bit.
ReplyDeleteI now must know the Japanese for 'Simply Ravishing'.
ReplyDeleteStupid storylines/gimmicks and the people in charge quite literally not knowing how to run a televised wrestling show are a far cry from one another, though.
ReplyDeleteBingo!
ReplyDeleteThe thought of the look Booker T must have had on his face when Mike Awesome was told to go to the finish before Booker got out there cracks me up.
ReplyDeleteFerrara: Tell Mike to go home!
Booker T: Tell me he didn't just say that!
It's true. But WCW gave Lance Storm a LOT more respect as an on-screen character.
ReplyDeleteLance Storm is seriously serious about being serious.
ReplyDeleteI'll take a 2 hour Impact over a 3 hour RAW any day of the week.
ReplyDeleteThe one thing WCW had over WWE (IMO) was that they were sometimes content to just let someone go out there and be a wrestler. In WWE, you have to have some kind of character or gimmick that everything is filtered through.
ReplyDelete