Tonight, live on the TNA Network, witness:
- Jeff Jarrett returning to main event a PPV in 2015 in a match where he's going to win and then not appear again for at least two months.
- Bob Ryder yelling at internet fans like Abe Simpson going after a cloud.
- A bunch of matches leading up to the title matches that were already taped but don't air until after this show!
Good thing it's only $9.99...oh wait, they want FIFTY BUCKS for this? Never mind then. Go with FIFA Women's World cup instead. Plus the governing body there is slightly less stupid and corrupt.
It appears the time has finally come where Wrestlemania 17 meets its match.
ReplyDeleteBut there are no Women's World Cup games tonight, Scott!
ReplyDeleteTHERE ARE NO WOMEN'S WORLD CUP GAMES!!
MAH MAH MAH MY WORLD
ReplyDelete$50 for a TNA PPV? Is TNA still even worth $50?
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbZyTQhEhZY
ReplyDeleteWWE network should be running Greed 2001 against this shit.
ReplyDeleteI may watch that tonight when I get home anyway.
Still?
ReplyDeleteLOL, that'd be a great livewatch idea following this.
ReplyDeleteThey should put the title on Jeff just for shits and giggles
ReplyDeleteAs a company? It's close.
ReplyDeleteOh, I said it, remember it and write it down -
ReplyDelete"I'M CASHING IN MY KING OF THE MOUNTAIN TITLE SHOT, SLAPNUTS!"
"Bob Ryder yelling at internet fans like Abe Simpson going after a cloud."
ReplyDeleteLegit LOL.
Hope there's no overlap with the PPV and the Grateful Dead concert.
ReplyDeleteOne thing the WWE is doing is killing the value of the other pics; I mean I can't imagine paying $50 for this when Wrestlemania only costs $10.
ReplyDeleteIs anyone actually watching this atrocity?
ReplyDeleteWhat you're saying is that TNA should start their own network?
ReplyDeleteWikipedia lists Jeff Jarrett as a 16 time world champion.
ReplyDeleteTNA shouldn't even start their own YouTube channel.
ReplyDelete(Vince McMahon 1990 voice). Images appear, of strange and powerful forces. But of all the forces in the universe, the two most powerful...Jeff Jarrett and Eric Young. It's the Ultimate Challenge, it's Slammiversary!!!!
ReplyDeleteTNA Slammiversary XIII: Holy Shit, There Have Been Thirteen of These? Have They Been Skipping Numbers? Wow, They Haven't! starts next, as your local PPV provider rolls on!
ReplyDeleteJames Storm look like Jim Neidhart now.
ReplyDeletehttps://instagram.com/p/3-MDMAiAc4/?taken-by=jamesstormbrand
I know I shouldn't, but I cannot help reading the posts at TNA Mecca. I suspect they're in a parallel universe where TNA is not terrible and doomed.
ReplyDeleteThe TNA Network should definitely start every broadcast day with the Local Aurora 10 Access intro that the "Wayne's World" sketches had.
ReplyDelete"Get your tickets now to the next TNA tour of the UK in 2016!" Wow, TNA in 2016...
ReplyDelete"Spirit king • 5 minutes ago
ReplyDeleteThe GFW/TNA storyline could be one of the best storylines in Pro Wrestling history, if it's done right. The NWO storyline was done slow, but it gotten too fast pace after everyone started to join NWO. I think we should have one company left standing."
Oh, I think one company left standing is wildly optimistic...
The only solution is really to bring back the Ace's & Eights
ReplyDeleteAnybody have any great Slammaversary memories?
ReplyDeleteOff the top of my head..
Damn. Forgot about the Dead shows. Think they are streaming anywhere?
ReplyDeleteIs this an idiot for TNAMecca?
ReplyDeleteYeah... on ustream, I do believe.
ReplyDeleteOpening history of TNA video package and it's all Hogan so far, haha.
ReplyDeleteImaybe they'll have a time machine that takes you back to 2006 when the company was actually hot?
ReplyDeleteHe really thinks he's Ric Flair now.
ReplyDeleteI just watched Wayne's World with my 7 year old last night, party on.
ReplyDeleteThey did have one, not sure if they still do. It was pretty good, actually.
ReplyDeleteWith it TNA can compete with the WWE and HBO!
ReplyDeleteDJ Z is the first wrestler we see, and all I can think of is Hogan yelling "this is why this company's in the damn shape it is, because of bullshit like this."
ReplyDeleteKinda bored. Might start tweeting crap to Bob Ryder
ReplyDeleteI see they are on YouTube for $20. I was hoping for something a little less... legitimate.
ReplyDeleteI would mark out for a "slapnuts" on this PPV.
ReplyDeleteSlamma-jim-jamma-versary
ReplyDeletehttp://www.ustream.tv/channel/heavythingsopener was the magic link last night.
ReplyDeleteI'll ask again. Is there a Tigre Dos or a Tigre Cero?
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, it'll be huge. Two wrestling promotions that are essentially the same thing with talent that works for whichever one is more likely to actually pay them real life money that weekend will battle it out in front of 300 to 500 fans.
ReplyDeleteI'm gonna watch GAB 1991 instead for approximately 33 cents today. Negative 4 star scaffold match beats Jeff Jarrett heat spots (in 2015) any day of the week. Oh yeah - and $50? Yeah - sure thing.
ReplyDeleteBring back the Villianos to feud with the Tigres.
ReplyDeleteJonathan Snowden on Twitter "If you're live tweeting TNA wrestling, please think about how your life's path led you to this dismal moment"
ReplyDeleteSharknado 3's subtltle is "Oh Hell No!"?
ReplyDeleteOkay.
3 Live Cru
ReplyDeleteI was it was Edward Snowden.
ReplyDelete"Shades of Elijah Burke".
ReplyDeleteThese guys are blowing spot after spot.
ReplyDeleteWell they skip payments, might as well skip numbers.
ReplyDeleteFeels extremely indie.
ReplyDeleteIf we are talking market value, the tape library can't be worth more than $9.99.
ReplyDeleteWe are at 8.5 indie right now.
ReplyDeleteThey do, and they upload full matches on it. It's pretty rad at times.
ReplyDeleteTower of Doom. The spot of every multi person women's match. And this match apparently.
ReplyDeleteManages by various Mr. Wrestlings. I love in shoots with old guys they just call them 'Wrestling.' Like 'I had a match with Wrestling 2 in Paducah...'
ReplyDeleteFuck it, here's a gif for no reason.
ReplyDeletehttp://imgur.com/mZinPNV
Non-impressive frogsplash.
ReplyDeleteThat certainly was a lot of well coordinated somersaults.
ReplyDeleteWrestling sequence into the corner German was pretty nifty.
ReplyDeleteThe Great American Bash 91 was not that bad of show. Granted at the time it probably one of the worst. But its just boring but its not bad though.
ReplyDeleteSeth Rollins banned from music festival: https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/11659247_923477544357967_7931188954637374133_n.jpg?oh=b443291f791eaaf6de456f7fb27751f4&oe=5631E829
ReplyDeletehttp://i.imgur.com/KVt5uZt.gif
ReplyDelete@brydertna congrats on your last PPV before you go out of business. Meltzer said you guys were through. You think you go to CZW?
ReplyDeleteWhoa. Borash has swollen since I last saw him. Man.
ReplyDeleteEwwww, don't widen your eyes like that, JB. Never again.
ReplyDeleteReese Witherspoon guest hosted Raw?
ReplyDeleteDefinitely rocking the heavy with child look tonight.
ReplyDeleteSweet Jesus, I'm not exactly in shape, but Jeremy Borash probably has his own gravitational pull right now.
ReplyDeletehttps://pbs.twimg.com/media/CIX3skDUcAEKlNi.png
ReplyDeleteThe one TNA talent that WWE should actually be interested in... Jeremy Borash.
ReplyDelete@Billy Meltzer is reporting you guys are basically through. Once TNA goes outta business you going to Lucha Underground?
ReplyDeleteThe MegaDouches ASPLODE
ReplyDeleteLol. can you imagine the rage if one week Renee was gone and Borash was there instead?
ReplyDeleteI feel bad for him, sticking to TNA.
ReplyDeleteJeremy Borash or Todd Pettengill..?
ReplyDeleteHey, remember when they promised a big Hollywood guy coming in and it was a Big Brother contestant? That's so TNA.
ReplyDeletePettengill in a rout.
ReplyDeleteThey should replace them all with an easel that has a poster board with 'What are your thoughts?' written on it since that's all they are allowed to ask.
ReplyDeleteI've always liked Robbie E.
ReplyDelete"The Man" is literally the most uninspired nickname I've ever heard.
ReplyDeleteHe did a lot to improve in the ring though
ReplyDeleteI used to hate Pettengill with a vengeance. Mellowed over the years though.
ReplyDeleteThe Man...somewhere Billy Gunn is cursing himself for not coming up with THAT nickname for Failed Solo Push #37.
ReplyDeleteThat's a hell of a ring robe.
ReplyDeleteWhy is Jesse's music the theme for a villain from a JRPG?
ReplyDeleteTom Phillips
ReplyDeleteThey paid that Survivor guy $500,000 for 2 appearances.
ReplyDeleteThey need a caveman gimmick like Tazmaniac again but call it "Billy the Homosapien".
ReplyDeleteI can't believe you guys are shitting on TNA so much. Look how many sides that ring has!!!
ReplyDeleteHe's no Lex Luger.
ReplyDeleteTNA goes under, no more pans up Christy Hemme's body. Waaah.
ReplyDeleteLooks like a cross of Billy Kidman and Edge.
ReplyDeleteIt meant more Lisa Marie, so I was in.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, dancing Stephanie McMahon has your back:
ReplyDeletehttp://i.imgur.com/EAtvCN3.gif
His glee in talking about how he got paid an extra year for nothing after they mistakenly allowed his deal to roll over is quite funny.
ReplyDeleteTriple-digit?
ReplyDeleteAre we all supposed to weigh under 100 lbs?
If you're gonna pay a Survivor star a lot of money, you pay the tiny dicked tax evader. Now that dude was a heel.
ReplyDeleteYes. Like he does.
ReplyDeleteNursery Rhymes Roman Reigns was better on the mic than this clown, holy balls.
ReplyDeleteI think he meant less than 1,000 people are watching.
ReplyDeleteThis show is so WCW 2000.
ReplyDeleteBetter presenter too.
ReplyDeletehttp://imgur.com/xstOhzH
Is DJ Ran up in our area?
ReplyDeleteI think he forgot his lines halfway through. There was a definite thinking pause.
ReplyDeleteIt looks like she dropped some change and is trying to pick it up all around her, then she just says fuck it.
ReplyDelete"Line"
ReplyDelete"Nuclear power!"
Worse freak out over a Z lister moment - "WE GOT JESSE FROM BIG BROTHER!" or "OH MY GOD THAT'S KING MO!"
ReplyDeleteJesse.
ReplyDeleteI love how Pope is listing off teams from other companies as all-time greats. No wonder you're going out of business.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of DJ Ran, I just learned this guy existed today. A DJ doing remixes of awful bro country garbage? That calls him self Dee Jay? Jesus people are rubes.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.billboard.com/biz/articles/news/radio/6049326/dee-jay-silver-brings-the-country-remixes-you-didnt-know-you-wanted
Let's count how many people on this show WWE would be interested in picking up. So far: 0.
ReplyDeleteI dunno, Jesse has a crazy body that might have Vince overreacting.
ReplyDelete"Remember those teams? Weren't they great". Stares at the hard camera trying not to cry.
ReplyDeleteBut he can't remember his written lines?
ReplyDeleteNamed himself after a shitty Street Fighter character?
ReplyDeleteDoesn't prevent Ryback from staring at cue cards for every backstage segment.
ReplyDeleteThe black Guile!
ReplyDeleteThat dropkick was a "flying two-footed whatever, fuck it".
ReplyDeleteNASCAR star Jeff Hammond pinning Frankie Kazarian with The Driving Elbow.
ReplyDeleteAhem. Touché.
ReplyDeleteThe T-1000 lets the police copper pilot live, but kills the liquid nitrogen truck driver. Never understood that.
ReplyDeleteJust tuned into the 1995 Great American Bash on a segment showcasing Kimberly's acting ability which got her a bit part in the 40 Year Old Virgin.
ReplyDeletePope is awful.
ReplyDeleteHe's a cop. The blue shield extends across generations and species.
ReplyDeleteIs that the one where she can't resist the charms of The Booty Man?
ReplyDeleteActing ability had nothing to do with it.
ReplyDeletehttps://historeviews.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/jesus_facepalm51.jpg
ReplyDeleteExcept all of the other cops he's killed.
ReplyDeleteWhat he should have said is "I like your copper", because when a Terminator says that, people die.
This isn't great, but it's honestly better than it has any right to be.
ReplyDeleteSo for those watching, how is the show?
ReplyDeleteLOL. WTF IS that?!?!
ReplyDeleteI tried to watch Dragon Ball Evolution as a joke but I just couldn't handle more than 5 minutes
ReplyDeleteWhite girl trying to be black. See: Azalea, Iggy.
ReplyDeleteI could tell he wasn't the greatest after listening to the first line he uttered on the first night.
ReplyDeleteRobbie is a good hand.
ReplyDeleteRight or left?
ReplyDeleteIt's good in small doses, like the Cinema Sins videos and the Honest Trailer.
ReplyDeleteVariation is the key.
ReplyDelete"The Stranger". Nice every now and then.
ReplyDeleteOh that's much later.
ReplyDeleteRobbie E's theme song:
ReplyDeletehttp://i.imgur.com/CaNslTd.gif
Somewhere between bad and completely irrelevant.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe they liked her Tits that much they just HAD to cast her. Wasnt she like 40ish at that point?
ReplyDeleteSo, is HHH the Smithers to Vince's Mr. Burns? Except not gay and in love with him?
ReplyDeleteOutside of the circus of botchery, it's been mostly inoffensive.
ReplyDeleteBut still... They were SPECTACULAR.
ReplyDeleteFuck me she was only 35-36?!
ReplyDeletehttp://teamfourstar.com/podcast/tfs-riffs-dragon-ball-evolution
ReplyDeleteTry with this on top.
Weird decision, I thought they were gonna push Jessie as a heel
ReplyDeleteMatt looks like he's sweating Crisco.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure HHH likes to taste Steph after Vince had her first.
ReplyDeleteI'M BRAM, MY NAME SOUNDS LIKE A SIDE DISH. RARRRGH. I'M BRAM.
ReplyDeleteMatt Hardy's face looks like a pot pie. I bet his brain is made of tender beef chunks in a rich gravy.
ReplyDeleteNice to see Vader again.
ReplyDeleteMatt Morgan? Seriously?
ReplyDeleteUgh, can we stop trying to make that dude happen?
Jeff Jarrett AND Matt Hardy in the King of the Mountain match? Maybe Gangrel will be a surprise entrant.
ReplyDeleteHe really is fetch walking.
ReplyDeleteOh come on, it should happen any day now!
ReplyDeleteI still get a total Mr. Burns vibe from Vince.
ReplyDeleteBut, but, he sent his DNA into space.
ReplyDelete"Bram, they don't want to see us wrestle!"
ReplyDeleteI love shoot comments that aren't supposed to be shoot comments.
Jim Duggan is death to a young guy trying to get over. I'm not sure Craig Pittman would have been anything, but this is definitely the end of it for him.
ReplyDeleteWell, Bram is slightly entertaining.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if The Ascension would have been less dead in the water if Bram had stuck around.
ReplyDeleteStill I believe both guys are very proud of that match. So weird.
ReplyDeleteJeff Jarrett is only 47; I thought he was in his mid-30s when he started his WWF run in 93.
ReplyDeleteI don't know about that, but I guarantee that someone would have been literally dead.
ReplyDeleteMore facial hair to look more Dothraki-esque would prevent The Ascension from looking like two college guys who like Avenged Sevenfold and long walks in the cemetery.
ReplyDeleteHe started wrestling at like 17 or something.
ReplyDeleteIt's bowling shoe ugly.
ReplyDeleteIt's 50 bucks???!!!??? Lol what???
ReplyDeleteHey, "Hail to the King" rocks.
ReplyDeleteSerious question; anyone buy it?
ReplyDeleteThat's my thought. Bram at least looks like a wrestler.
ReplyDeleteBram always looked like a crazy hobo version of Gerard Butler to me.
ReplyDeleteBruce Campbell is an entertaining fellow.
ReplyDeleteThe Great American Bash would Have been a perfectly acceptable Clash of Champions but it makes a lousy pay-per-view.
ReplyDeleteIs Aries working the show still? I'd actually stream that match if anyone watching let's me know when it starts.
ReplyDeleteThat'd be like buying shoes for a guy who's scheduled to have his foot amputated.
ReplyDeleteHmm good point actually. Only the main feels special. The rest is basically throw-away.
ReplyDelete"Gets left foot amputated, friend buys a right shoe".
ReplyDeleteAries vs Daver Ridchards, on paper the better match of the card
ReplyDeleteStreaming a tna ppv is like taking a shopping cart full of cans from a homeless guy choking on his own puke.
ReplyDeleteDave
ReplyDeleteDaver
Davest
So Richards is almost there.
Streaming, and it's barely worth THAT.
ReplyDeleteO I thought he and roode were tagging vs the wolves?
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of lousy pay-per-views... how bout this match you are expected to pay $50 to watch betweeen two dudes WWE fired?
ReplyDeleteSteve Regal just made my night with his promo: "In 1946 Adolf Hitler was in the bunker and turned to Joseph Gerbels and said, "I think we've blown it." That what those to fat slobs are in their locker room thinking right now..." and it only got better from there.
ReplyDeleteThey did the job to the tv taping schedule.
ReplyDeleteI'm not watching that shit.
ReplyDelete"Let's run down tonight's card"
ReplyDelete*uncomfortable silence*
They are, but since the PPV can't have any important result they are just wrestling to dertermine the Tag Title match stipulation
ReplyDeleteDavey and Aries had a pretty amazing match in ROH a few years ago. If this match is half as good it should be MOTN.
ReplyDeleteThe Clashes used to be pretty awesome for what they were. And the title us cool.
ReplyDeleteThe Rock showed up unnanounced at WWE's house show in Boston.
ReplyDeleteIt's pretty sad though, because of TNA's inability to hold onto steady TV deals, both of their prestige PPV's have been reduced to One Night Only shows with little to no meaning.
ReplyDelete